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FISH FUND XIII |
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(Poison Ivy entered her and Sean’s dressing room, simultaneously, as Sean - now - Triple X exited the bathroom in his wrestling gear, consisting of black and red tights, with his trademark ‘X’ and a few of his phrases placed in all area’s. He had on no shirt, but his chest was chiseled, and oily from what had to be light perspiration with a tad bit of baby oil. His hair was soaked as well, hanging down his back. Ivy, too, began to feel the excitement. She looked her boyfriend up- and- down, admiring his physical condition, observing how great he looked, and how she hadn’t seen him so pumped in years. That is... Until she looked at his face.) POISON IVY: Sean... What happen?!? STEVENS: Don’t worry about it Ivy. POISON IVY: What did I miss? Was it Ryan? Powers? Wh– STEVENS: It was nothing. I’m not sweating it... You make sure you don’t either. Are you coming with me to ringside? POISON IVY: ‘Course I am. STEVENS: Good. ...then, let’s go. It’s about time... POISON IVY: Hold on a sec, Sean... I may need my Singapore. (CUTTO: Elsewhere backstage) (CUT TO:
Backstage, where Mike Plett has made his way to a trainer,
who has just finished closing up the gash in Plett’s forehead.
As this happens, Shane Southern walks toward the gorilla
position for his upcoming MP:
Shane… you have a second? SS:
Mike! Man…
I’m proud of ya’. I’m
sure Stanley, an’ even Evan… I’m sure they are, too.
I’m sorry I doubted ya’. MP:
Go get ‘em… Shane… win one for us.
BB: We’re coming down the home stretch, Sammy!
I’ve gotta admit, this has been one of the greatest nights of action the CSWA
has ever seen! SB: Spare me, Buckley… Eddy isn’t wrestling
for the World Title, Joey Melton is playing with midgets… this kind of night
could drive a man to drink. (CUE UP: “Hero” by Chad
Kroeger) SB: That goes double for now. BB: The United States Champion is heading to the
ring to a mixed crowd reaction, but there’re a lot of Sweetwater fans who
remember Hornet’s history and what he’s meant to this company who are
cheering for him. SB: BOOO! BOOO! BB: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it yet
again, Sammy… Hornet is at an incredible disadvantage tonight. You can bet all
three of his opponents are looking to not only take his United States title, but
get the additional ‘rub’ of defeating Hornet himself in his own backyard. SB: His backyard? I thought he and Jewels broke
up. BB: You’re horrible. SB: Buckley, if FISH FUND is the man's backyard then he
needs a new gardener. The big question is, does Hornet's "FISH FUND
Curse" continue? (CUE UP: “Zero” – The Smashing Pumpkins) SB: This is horrible. Don’t these people know
this man is the GXW UNIFIED HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION? BB: Apparently not. Dan Ryan is wearing his GXW
Unified Championship belt, and is waving to this capacity Sweetwater crowd like
he’s the greatest thing walking the earth… and they absolutely hate him for
it. SB: I think he’s a pretty cool guy. Of course,
he’d be even cooler if he’d bring Ol’ Sammy a beer, but that’s just my
own personal preference. BB: Yes. We know. (CUE UP: "Ain't Goin' Down" - Garth
Brooks) SB: What, the UNIFIED champion doesn’t get
cheered, but the Not Fun Wrestling champion does? BB: Not Fun Wrestling? SB: Yeah. BB: No. SB: No? BB: No. SB: Oh. BB: I’ve gotta think Shane Southern has the
best chance of all these men to walk out with the US Title, Sammy. Dan Ryan is
on an anti- CSWA crusade, where he can declare the GXW superior if he can take
Hornet out. Hornet is looking to take Ryan out, as well as setting his sights on
Triple X, who has issues with Hornet over their mutual third party, as Hornet
tastefully referred to her. SB: Trip’s plaything? (CUE UP: “’Til I Collapse” – Eminem) BB: Cool it, Sammy… here comes Trip. SB: With his plaything? BB: Sammy! SB: I’m only saying it because you’re afraid
to. BB: Poison Ivy has guided Eli Flair to the SB: Only if she… never mind. Family
entertainment and all. BB: Thank you. SB: Plaything! BB: Pee Wee Troutman has been given the dubious
honor of officiating this matchup, and I think he’s going to have his hands
full. SB: Trip is talking trash with Hornet already,
and Dan Ryan has snatched the US Title belt out of Troutman’s hands and is
comparing it with his Unified belt… and there goes the spittle. I think
Troutman should just give up and take a nap underneath the ring. Ryan will call
for him when he’s ready to win the Unified Spittle title from Bugbrain. Get
it? BB: I got it, Sammy… it’s just not funny. SB: Yes it is, and you wish you’d thought of
it. BB: There’s the bell, and this one is underway!
Ryan gestures for Poison Ivy to leave the ring, and she’s staring daggers
through his skull! These men have backed into the corners, and everyone is wary
of making the first move! SB: Dan Ryan is waiting for everyone to come to
HIM. BB: Hornet with a clothesline on Ryan! NO! Triple
X has grabbed the Champ from behind! These two started fighting earlier in the
night...and it's just continued over into the ring! GERMAN SUPLEX! Hornet is
rattled already, as Shane Southern breaks up the potential pinfall! SB: That was really confusing. BB: What? SB: You said the Champ. There’s three Champs in
there. Three champs and one chump, huh? BB: I think Ivy heard you, Sammy… she’s on
her way over. SB: Oh no. BB: Dan Ryan with a full nelson on Triple X,
he’s really working that in there, and Shane Southern trading forearms with
Hornet! IVY: Yes, Sammy… I heard you. SB: Drat. BB: Sit down, Ivy… pull up a headset. Dan Ryan
sends Trip’s head into the turnbuckle pad, and again! Trip with an elbow and a
reversal, but Ryan holds fast and drives a knee into the chest of the former
Presidential Champion! SB: Why don’t you go give Triple X a hand,
dear? Seems to be the only way he can win. IVY: Shove it, Sammy… nobody is interfering in
this match. BB: Ryan has Trip’s head hooked – TRIP SHOVED
HIM INTO THE ROPES! They slingshot off, and Triple X rolls backwards, hooking
Ryan’s leg from behind! The GXW Unified Champion goes down, and Trip’s
locking on a modified anklelock! Ryan lunged forward and grabbed the ropes!
Shane Southern has Hornet hooked… SB: What, you gonna stop ‘em? IVY: Nope. These four have gotta fight it out
themselves. Anyone else interferes tho… it’s wooden- stick- on- skull time. BB: SMALL PACKAGE! SB: What? BB: ONE…. TWO…. KICKOUT by Hornet! IVY: What? BB: I dunno about the two of you… but I’m
here to call a match. SB: So? BB: Never mind. Southern pulls Hornet back to his
feet, and hits a sharp forearm to the Champ’s face! He hooks Hornet by the
head! DDT! NO! IVY: Southern forgot this was a FOUR CORNERS
match… two more opponents. And Dan Ryan’s got his head hooked as well. BB: Will we see a DDT on Hornet or a reverse DDT
on Shane Southern? IVY: Southern still has Hornet’s head hooked!
That’s gotta be straining Bugbrain’s neck and back. SB: I never thought I’d hear you call him that. IVY: Doesn’t matter though, because Sean
measures the tub of jello… XXX FACTOR! BB: TRIP CAUGHT DAN RYAN ON THE SIDE OF THE HEAD!
Ryan staggers sideways into the ropes, and can’t keep Shane Southern from
losing his balance as he’s still hooked! Southern goes down! DDT ON HORNET!
Southern takes advantage and hooks the leg again! ONE! TWO! Trip breaks it up! IVY: Sean always knows exactly where he is in the
ring… he won’t let the pinfall happen without him being a part of it. SB: I think he’ll get pinned, too. BB: Dan Ryan holding his head – that superkick
from Triple X really rang his bell. Fans, I’d like to apologize for falling a
bit behind on the action here, but with four men in the ring it gets a little
tricky. SB: You’re losing a step. Admit it. IVY: And you’re gaining a fifth chin. What’s
your point? BB: Trip with the
cover on Hornet now – NO! Ryan pulled Trip off the US Champion, and the two
begin to brawl over near the ropes! Hornet is pulled to his feet, NO! He fires
back with an elbow to the midsection! And another! Hornet locks a side headlock
on Shane Southern, and he drags the NFW World Champion’s face across the top
rope! SB: That’s
called an Indian burn. IVY: Are you even
paid anymore? SB: Don’t you
have a midcarder to give some sugar to? (Ivy gets up and
lunges at Sammy but Buckley holds her back) BB: Calm down, the
both of you! SB: Whore. IVY: Freeloader. BB: Why me? IVY: Just lucky, I
guess. BB: Troutman tries
to separate the two, putting a count on Hornet! DAN RYAN WHIPPED TRIPLE X ACROSS
THE RING! TRIP JUST COLLIDED WITH THE REFEREE! SB: Time for a
cluster— BB: Sammy! SB: If I had a
beer I’d be a better family entertainer. BB: Troutman is
DOWN in the middle of the ring! Ryan with a running clothesline – Triple X
ducked it! IVY: But Hornet
didn’t! BB: Trip is up on
Ryan’s back – Sleeper! SB: He’s choking
him! IVY: Yeah, I think
he’s choking him. BB: There’s no
referee, Troutman is OUT COLD! We need another referee out here! SB: Hey, no ref…
whatever they can get away with. BB: Hornet slides
out of the ring, Shane Southern follows closely! IVY: Did someone
check under the ring for a branding iron? BB: Looks like
Hornet’s doing so now. SB: Cajun- Fried
Southern! IVY: Shaddup. SB: Can we get
Mini- Ivy back out here? BB: Hornet is,
indeed, looking under the ring for something – Southern grabbed him from
behind! Southern just sent Hornet into the guardrail! IVY: Keep it up,
guys… Ryan is fading, all we need is a new referee and Sean’s got this thing
won. BB: Southern with
a clothesline – and Hornet backdropped him into the first row! Hornet’s
coming this way! IVY: He’d better
not be. SB: What’ya
need, Bugbrain? IVY: OH NO YOU
DON’T! BB: Hornet just
grabbed the Singapore Cane, but Ivy’s got the other end and we’ve got a tug-
of- war! Here comes Patrick Young from the back! Shane Southern was headed for
Hornet but he’s headed back into the ring now! SB: Ryan’s out
cold, Buckley… That was no sleeper hold, that was an out and out choke. IVY: LET GO OF MY
CANE! BB: Ryan’s arm
falls once! IVY: Don’t do
it, Hornet! SB: Hit her,
Hornet! BB: Ryan’s arm
falls twice! IVY: Ow! Mother
F… SB: Family
entertainment, Buckley? BB: RYAN’S ARM
FALLS A THIRD— SHANE SOUTHERN OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH A MISSLE DROPKICK! Trip is
knocked away from Ryan! Southern with the cover! ONE… TWO… Triple X broke it
up! SB: Here comes
Hornet again! IVY: Son of a…
Can’t believe the way he smacked my hand away from my own Cane. BB: And you
didn’t go after him like a hothead. I’m proud of you. IVY: Gotta grow up
sometime, Buckley. BB: Trip with a
Frank ‘n Parsons to Shane Southern, and he follows up with a series of punches
to the face! Hornet slides back into the ring, and he’s measuring Trip! IVY: OH no he does not! SB: What happened to growing up? IVY: Screw that! (Ivy tosses down her headset.) BB: Hornet with the Singapore Cane to Triple X! Patrick Young threatening disqualification for that one! Poison Ivy slides in the ring and grabs the stick out of Hornet's grasp again! SB: Hit him! Then
hit her! BB: Young is
telling Ivy to leave the ring! IVY CLOCKED PATRICK YOUNG WITH THAT CANE! Ivy and
Hornet stare down again! SB: Where’s the
Champ? BB: I told you,
Hornet’s staring Ivy down! SB: Not him, the
Unified Champ! BB: Dan Ryan,
thankfully, is moving again after Triple X choked him down! He’s coughing, but
he’s pulling himself up in the corner! SB: If anyone’s
gonna make a move… now’s the time. BB: IVY SWINGS THE
CANE! Hornet blocked it! HE’S KISSING HER! SB: I KNEW IT! BB: NO! Ivy shoved
him away, she’s got a look of absolute disgust on her face! TRIPLE X TACKLED
HORNET! They flew between the ropes and hit the floor hard! Here comes Ben
Worthington! We’re on our third referee in this one! SB: Why is Ivy
coming back this way? BB: Shane Southern
and Dan Ryan are pulling themselves up in the ring, and Triple X is bloodying
his knuckles on Hornet’s face! IVY: That son of a
bitch… first he uses MY cane on MY boyfriend and then he has the AUDACITY to
kiss me? What the hell does Hornet think he’s gonna get, other than bloodied? SB: Of course, you
didn’t enjoy it. IVY: I didn’t. SB: You pulled off
a massive coup with that man, TWICE, and you expect anyone to believe you? IVY: Point taken,
Sammy… but those days are done. BB: Triple X
really doing a number on Hornet there. Hornet shoves Trip off and gives himself
a moment to collect himself – Triple X really caught him off guard back there. SB: There IS still
a match, you realize. IVY: Yes Sammy…
we know. But there’s not much in the way of participants anymore. SB: How great
would it be for the GXW Unified Champion to pin the NFW World Champion to become
the CSWA United States champion? BB: It could
happen, as Dan Ryan is inching closer to Shane Southern! He drapes an arm across
his chest! ONE… TWO… Southern with a foot on the ropes! SB: Damn! BB: Trip sends
Hornet facefirst into our announce table! IVY: Sean! Match! SB: He’s in a
lover’s rage. IVY: Sean! GO win
the damn match! BB: Dan Ryan has
Shane Southern up… HUMILITY BOMB! Triple X turns around… he sees what’s
happening! IVY: GO! BB: Triple X heads
for the ring! HORNET GRABBED HIM BY THE LEG AND IS HOLDING HIM DOWN! ONE…
TWO… THREE! NO! NO! SOUTHERN KICKED OUT AT THE LAST MOMENT! DAN RYAN IS BESIDE
HIMSELF! IVY: Look at how
huge he is… he’s ALWAYS beside himself. SB: Hornet’s
still holding Trip outside the ring… why not get in there and try your hand at
swinging that stick again? IVY: Shut it,
Sammy… I didn’t want to interfere then and I won’t do it now. BB: Ryan with a
belly- to- belly suplex on Shane Southern… and Trip has pulled Hornet up and
hooked him for a DDT! But Hornet still has a grip on Triple X, not letting him
get back into the ring! SB: Hornet has a
grip on Triple X? I know he’s getting older but I don’t think adult movies
are his best career choice at this time. IVY: With wit like
that, Sammy… I don’t recall the punchline but your mother’s a whore. BB: Ryan whips
Southern into the ropes… Backdrop! SOUTHERN LANDED ON HIS FEET! SB: Somewhat. IVY: Yeah,
somewhat. The ropes are holding him up. BB: Ryan turns
around… SUPERKICK! SUPERKICK! PARTY’S OVER! PARTY’S OVER! Southern FALLS
on top of Dan Ryan! But Hornet still won't Triple X get near winning the
title! IVY: SUPERKICK!
XXX FACTOR! Sean just laid Hornet out on the floor! BB: ONE! SB: Laid? Don’t
tell me your man swings that way, too. IVY: Sean turns
toward the ring! BB: TWO! SB: Don’t tell
me… IVY: HE SLIDES
UNDER THE BOTTOM ROPE! HE CAN MAKE IT! SB: This is
ri-hot-damn-diculous. BB: THREE! WE HAVE
A NEW UNITED STATES CHAMPION! And if you can believe it, Dan Ryan is recovering
faster than the man who just pinned him! IVY: Damn! But
Southern earned it. SB: This better
not give those NFW freeloaders a superior attitude. Only the Unified Champion
would’ve deserved it. BB: Triple X and
Dan Ryan are face to face in the middle of the ring as Ben Worthington presents
the United States Championship belt to Shane Southern… this Cajun Superstar
has really earned it tonight. SB: Bugbrain is getting back into the ring himself… he looks like he’s got himself a bloody nose. BB: (CUE UP: “Du Hast” by Rammstein. As the opening beat to the song hits the arena, the crowd comes to their feet in an uproar…the lights dim as blue and red pyrotechnique flames encompass the ramp way…the fatigued participants in the ring are caught off guard as Kendall Codine unexpectedly emerges from the smoke…with microphone in hand. Codine awaits the crowd to settle down as the lights in the arena return to their normal illumination…the music slowly dies out as Codine prepares to speak) BB:
IT’S BLADE! IVY:
And not a moment too soon… he and Sean are old runnin’ buddies. Ryan should
just take a powder. Codine: Man, is it good to be “home.” (The crowd offers another huge pop as Codine sits in silence and offers a slight smile as acknowledgement to their ovation) What’s it been? TWO, maybe THREE years? (Codine pauses once again as he collects his thoughts before ultimately addressing the four men within the ring) Now I know that everyone is wondering as to why exactly the BLADE has returned. In fact, I’ve asked myself that same exact question a hundred times over as I am the last person who would have ever expected me to step foot back onto CSWA programming… Nevertheless, I’ve come to notice a recent abundance of GXW personalities flooding the CSWA… My home… (Crowd pop once again) And I’ll be damned if anyone is going to wreck or degrade MY HOME!! (Codine begins to slowly approach the ring as he pulls his hair up into a pony-tail while continuing to speak) (pointing to Triple X within the ring) And I’ll be damned if I’m going to allow anyone to walk all over MY FRIENDS!! (Codine hops up on the ring apron and gradually enters between the ropes, coming nose to nose with Dan Ryan) And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you ruin the company that is responsible for me still standing within a squared circle to this day!! (Codine drops the
microphone to the canvas as he and Ryan are nose to nose in an intense
stand-off…) BB:
BLADE AND RYAN ARE GOING TO GO AT IT! (… surrounding them are the other participants in the match, Triple X, Shane Southern, and Hornet…suddenly, with no warning, Chris Lehew emerges from the crowd and attacks Shane Southern, while at the same time, Dan Ryan turns and begins to attack Hornet and Kendall Codine attacks Triple X) BB: What is this? Blade is the MOLE!! IVY:
What is he DOING? SB: Who would have guessed it aside from the entire CSWA roster? BB:
Wait a minute, its Mike Plett! (HUGE crowd pop, “Wicked
Sight” runs down the aisle with a steel chair in hand…) BB:
And it appears that he’s coming down to save his CSWA comrades! SB: He may not be a traitor… but he’s still a punk! (Plett quickly makes his way down to the ring as Codine, Ryan, and Lehew hesitate for a moment and refocus their attention to Wicked Sight who now stands in the ring before them) BB:
The GXW is starting to flee like rats!
Codine, Ryan, Lehew, all backing up… it’s good to see our doubts were
wrong… (Wicked Sight begins to
help Shane and Triple X up to their feet, both men shaking off the cobwebs.
And as quick as they’re up…) SB:
I KNEW IT! BB:
WHAT THE HELL? (Plett levels both men
with a shot to the head with that steel chair to an insane heel response!) BB:
But what about earlier? What
about the GXW attack on Plett?
(With all three CSWA
athletes laying at the feet of Plett, Codine, Ryan and Lehew, the former
snatches a microphone from Rhubarb Jones and begins to speak over chants of
profanity by the fans.) MP: Apparently, my blood wasn't good enough for you. My HEAD wasn't good enough for you. MY DAMN SHOULDER WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! You still believed the rumors... paranoid, each and every one of you. SOMEBODY ... maybe it was Hornet, GUNS, it could have been JJ (bleep) DEVILLE... called me a traitor, and you fans believed it. The fans of the CSWA, the same fans that begged me for autographs when me and my wife were eating... the same fans that I gave my body for, the same fans that used me as their hero... the SAME FANS THAT CHANTED MY NAME AT ANNIVERSARY... you turned your backs on me. (CSWA security rushes down
to the ring and begins to try and pull the three CSWA performers to safety,
while trying not to get kicked by the rest of the GXW contingent.) And when the two of you -
STANLEY AND SOUTHERN - had the gaul to ask me where I stood at PrimeTime in
Oklahoma ... I took JOY in slamming a chair into Stanley 's head, but then it
got me to thinking... since Hornet already blamed me for the GXW, and Evan Aho
didn't believe me, Stanley didn't believe me... SHANE SOUTHERN didn't believe
me... and oh yeah, I've been told about X saying things about my allegiance...
So I decided to call Erik Zieba, and make a deal... because all I had in the
CSWA was the locker room and the fans... and NONE OF YOU KEPT YOUR FAITH, YOU
UNGRATEFUL DAMN (BLEEP!)! (Plett presses his body
anxiously against the ropes, one foot on the middle rope and the other on the
canvas, a bit of blood in his mouth from the scuffle moments ago.) BB: This is disgusting. After everything the CSWA and its workers did for that kid. SB: I TOLD YOU! |
