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From the desk of CSWA Co-Commissioner Stephen Thomas...

"My lord, the Death Star is operational!"

Um..you bet your sweet little cheeks it is! We're live, and I'm the Kit and the Kaboodle!

To all the kids around the world who mark out for every and anything CSWA-related here's a news flash for you.

The common people smell.

And you kids thought Merritt was corrupt. You ain't seen nothin yet..

..and that's the bottom line.

 

 

 

 

Updated 8/21/99

"From the dark shadows of oppression, rose a hero. A man who championed not everyman's cause, but only his own. The hero's lone weapon against the chains that bound him to silence, was his mind. To speak it, to share with the world the wealth of his knowledge meant sacrifice. From this day forward he'd be above the arm of the law, an untouchable. The hero's here, and he welcomes those who travel far and wide to praise him."

-Marsha Andrews
CS Enterprises Secretary
From CSWA Memo

Thanks Marsha for those kind, and not in any way forced words. And yes, we will be paying for your upcoming cosmetic surgery. You play, everybody wins! *laughs*

First let me give a shout out to former co-commissioner Chad Merritt. If you're reading this, hope you're doing well. By the way, did they ever bring you up on charges for the attempted murder of the Red Midget?

Kids, let me say this very slowly....slow enough that even former Vice Commissioner AJ Honold can understand. I'm smarter than the average bear. In recent months the CSWA has enjoyed record buyrates for PPVs, attendance records for house shows, and ratings for Primetime and Showtime that make Judge Judy choke on her filth infested gavel.

And it should be no surprise as to why. I'M IN CHARGE. And unlike my dear friend Scott Baio, my career's not over...it's only just begun. For eleven years, I stood aside and let the midget killer act as figure head. I let him sign the documents first, park closest to the office, and on a few occasions even paid for his Denny's Grand Slam breakfast.  However, those days are gone. Merritt's been ousted at last. Sure he had his moments, as in pooping VP Schmid. But, let's not forget we're talking about the man who wanted to name ANNIVERSARY '96: The Wrestling King!

Merritt spent the last 11 years pandering to every need Hornet had, but let it be on record that I've made more champions than Little Debbie's made snack cakes! I could list every decision that has made the company money that I checked off on, but I won't. I simply don't have the time.

Enjoy the days off, Chad....and keep this on file for when I see you next. It's paper not plastic and please, double bag the groceries this time. I wouldn't want any...mishaps.

To the rest of you, there's business to attend to.


Kayfabe note:  Don't miss previous "Bottom Line" articles to the left.  And not only that, but we've gone back and dredged up ancient history in "Enforcer Speaks" from 1995 and 1996!