PRIMETIME in the
Arena, New Jersey
(The National Cable Network logo fades as the CSWA PRIMETIME logo takes its place. As the logo fades, the camera shows a wideshot of the Meadowlands, with the CSWA ring in the center. Inside the ring stand two men, one obviously a wrestler, and one an announcer.)
RS: We are here in the Meadowlands in the heart of the Garden State (crowd pops) for CSWA PRIMETIME! I am Rudy Seitzer, and if you don’t know the man standing here with me, then you’ve missed out on the last fifteen years. He is the one, the only… HORNET! (Crowd pop.) Tonight, he’ll face Dan Ryan in an attempt to become the CSWA World Heavyweight Champion for an unprecedented fifth time. Hornet, welcome.
Hornet: Thanks Rudy. I’m just happy the CSWA appears to be back on track and that we’re back on the road.
RS: At ON TIME you faced Eli Flair and took a controversial loss as Flair blatantly pulled the tights to hold you down for the count, and then threw one of your old taglines back at you.
Hornet: Rudy, I’ve known Eli a long time. And I’d be living in a dream world if I didn’t believe that I haven’t wronged him a few times myself. But Eli gives as good as he gets, and this time is no exception. The score’s evened up, at least in my book. I’m not going to apologize for my past sins against Eli again.
RS: I’d be remiss if I didn’t bring up the events of the CSWA’s last show of last year. It had been announced that you would challenge Tom Adler for the United States Championship at CSWA15. At the contract signing, Adler not only attacked you, but decided to play on some personal problems you’ve been having.
Hornet: It’s alright Rudy, you can say it. He decided to call out my addiction to painkillers. Of course, since I announced it on live television last year, I don’t think he surprised anyone. Rudy, for anyone that’s known Tom, for any of the fans that have seen Adler over the years, we all know that no matter how highbrow or above-the-fray he wants to seem, Tom Adler is one of the lowest of the low. He’s willing to take the lowest common denominator, match it, and lower it even further. It’s the only way he can feel superior.
RS: How does your match against Ryan for the World Title tonight affect your plans for CSWA15?
Hornet: Obviously I’d love to walk out tonight with the CSWA World Title for the fifth time, Rudy. I’m ready to face Ryan, or Adler, or Flair, or whoever else Merritt wants to throw at me. That doesn’t mean I’m going to win every time, but it means I’m ready to. Who knows what’s in Merritt’s mind, but assuming I win tonight, I expect to defend the title against Shane Southern, since he earned the title shot in Chicago.
RS: One final question: you just said you’re ‘ready.’ Ready to face Ryan for the title, or Adler or Southern at CSWA15. Does that mean you’re ready to face Mark Windham?
Hornet: (grimacing) Mark’s a whole different bag of nails, Rudy. I’m ready to wrestle, to make it known that I’m here to stake my claim in a whole different way. If that means I have to go through Mark in the ring… well, I’ll cross that bridge if we get to it.
RS: Thanks for your time tonight, Hornet. Good luck tonight in the Main Event. Speaking of which, let’s o-fish-ally kick off CSWA PRIMETIME!
(CUEUP: “Numb” by Linkin Park)
(CUTTO: Mark Windham and Dan Ryan brawling in the hallways of the United Center.)
(CUTTO: Eddie Mayfield blowing out the candles on his “Presidential” birthday cake.)
(CUTTO: Hornet and Tom Adler singing the contract for their match at CSWA15.)
(CUTTO: Steel Viper making Shamon tap out in an ankle lock.)
(CUTTO: Greensboro Champion Jean Rabesque hooking Hornet’s leg for the three-count.)
(CUTTO: Eli Flair cracking the Singapore cane over Mark Windham’s head.)
(CUTTO: Kevin Powers chokeslamming and pinning Craig Miles.)
(CUTTO: Eddie Mayfield shattering his cast over Shane Southern’s head.)
(CUTTO: Tom Adler dumping a bottle of pills over a prone Hornet’s face in the corner of the ring.)
(CUTTO: A stain of blood in the middle of the ring where Mark Windham was lying.)
(CUTTO: Shane Southern’s hand being raised at the end of the “There Can Be Only One” match.)
BB: HELLO wrestling fans! The CSWA is BACK here in the Meadowlands. I am Bill Buckley, this is Sammy Benson, and it is GOOD to be back!
SB: Speak for yourself, I had to quit a television pilot in order to be here.
BB: What? “Lifestyles of the Drunk and Famous?”
SB: See Buckley, you always go for the obvious. Can’t ever do the smart stuff, can you?
BB: We’ve already heard from tonight’s challenger to Dan Ryan’s CSWA World Championship and…
SB: And Hornet’s still as boring as he looks.
BB: Ryan/Hornet is the Main Event, but the rest of the lineup is amazing too. Eli Flair is in action against Steel Viper, the man who wants Eddie Mayfield’s Presidential Championship. US Champion Tom Adler faces former Greensboro Champion Kin Hiroshi. And former CSWA World Champion Mark Windham goes against Sean Stevens. Plus, we’re hoping to be able to tell you the rest of the lineup for CSWA15!
SB: So Steel Viper’s not still in that big laundry cart? I thought he’d feel right at home with Eddie’s soiled jock.
BB: I’ll be sure to play that for him in the back, in case he missed it.
SB: I… think I need to go get a hot dog.
BB: And while Sammy tries not to wet himself, take a look at what happened behind-the-scenes at ON TIME in Greensboro last week.
(CUTTO: ON TIME in Greensboro is over. Cameron Cruise is walking down the corridor to the stage door of the Thomas Indoor/Outdoor Arena when Eddie Mayfield and Craig Miles, the Professionals, step in behind him. Cruise drops his bag and looks ready to fight.)
Mayfield: Whoa whoa, big man. Why so hasty? We’re just here to talk, just here to make sure that the boss man isn’t trying to use you.
Cruise: What are you talking about?
Mayfield: You know Merritt’s famous for setting people up. You saw what he just did to us in there with his sad excuse for the original champ. And now, he’s trying to do the same thing with you, isn’t he? He’s got you convinced that you can get back at my man Craig and I here by stepping in against us at CSWA15.
Cruise: You’ve lost it, Eddie.
Mayfield. Nah, nah, man. I haven’t lost it, I just picked it up where Merritt left it. Just look at it as an opportunity to make yourself look like an even bigger loser than ya have so far. Once Craig and I are done with you cat, that broken nose Craig gave ya a while back is gonna look like child’s play. And as for your partner… well, we might just have to pay a visit to Ms. Mercedes after we get done with you. You got me, Cruise?
Cruise: Why you son of a….
(Cruise lunges at Mayfield, only to be held back by the seven-foot tall Bandit who, along with Pi, has appeared on the scene.)
Mayfield: Ah ah ah, Cruise baby, just remember, it’s not about you. It’s about US. And about letting Merritt know that we’re not gonna sit back and put up with his…
(Mayfield trails off as the stage door opens and JJ DeVille enters with a Whitesnake T-shirt on. He pulls a piece of paper out of his back pocket, looks around, and starts heading down the hallway.)
JJ: Oh, hey guys, I’m looking for the stage manager. You know, that Blond Devil guy… I can never remember his name…
Bandit: Get the hell outta here, loser.
(JJ smiles at Bandit, seemingly oblivious. He walks down the hallway, then turns back.)
JJ: Hey hey, no need for insults big man. After all, according to this piece of paper. I get to face your bosses there at the big dance. See you at ANNIVERSARY, boys.