(The patented CSWA laser light show is still going strong as the camera cuts to Bill Buckley and Sammy Benson stepping out onto the rampway. It's different from their usual spot behind the commentators' table, and the fans stand as the lights die down.)

BUCKLEY: HELLOOOOO wrestling fans! Welcome to BATTLE OF THE BELTS XVII here in Washington, D.C.! (huge pop) I'm Bill Buckley, and yes, for all those of you who were worried, as always I am joined here by Sammy Benson!

(Buckley pats Benson on the back and urges him to wave to the fans. Benson seems taken aback by the huge reaction from the fans in the MCI Center.)

BB: Fans, we've got something really special set to kick things off tonight. And to introduce them, let's send it down to Rhubarb Jones in the ring.

RHUBARB: Ladies and gentlemen… please direct your attention to the entrance ramp, where CS Enterprises is proud to bring to you… VALERIAN’S GARDEN!

(CUTTO: The platform just in front of the CSWAvision, where the band has set up. Angel takes a few tentative steps toward the microphone, clad in Eli Flair’s black leather trenchcoat, a black corset and flowing black dress.)

Angel: …Five, four, three, two - let the battle come to you!

(The band kicks in full-throttle – Mickey the guitarist moves toward the forefront with a cigarette hanging from his lips. Bassist TJ, the glam rocker, threw his feathered boa over his shoulder as he tore it up, and between the two men, Angel headbanged to the military-esque beat.)

”Seventeen's a lucky number, for one man or for another
One will rise, one will fall; one will suffer from a last call
Best of friends and worst of rivals, which will show and which will go
To be the one in history who was the best WHO WILL IT BE?”

(She defers to the side of the platform as she pulls the microphone from the stand and wrapps the cord around her fist a la Henry Rollins. Behind her, Nine strums on the synth with a rapid fire that stuns the music fans in the crowd)

”It's a battle for the ages, it's a war that always rages
It's a fight to stay alive.
WHO IS GOING TO SURVIVE?
For fifteen years now it's been asked and now we'll finally know—“

(The music cuts out for a half second, filling the arena with anticipation, until Sex’s drums kicked back in)

”America's Team - who is the man - and who is going home?”

(Stunned at the vicious delivery of the words, transposed against the beautiful range of her voice, the wrestling fans in attendance have found themselves actually enjoying this chick.)

”It's an invasion of an enemy the worst kind imagined
The Wicked Sight of betrayal and deceit
Nobody saw it coming, nobody could believe it happened
But revenge is a dish best served cold and bittersweet!”

(She suddenly looks toward the camera – as if she realizes for the first time that she’s actually being broadcast to millions of people)

"King of Extreme and the Undisputed Mat Master
Someone will rise and rule and be the better, stronger, faster
A legend in the making or a legend made already
In the ring or on the floor where only one will prove he's READY!”

(A wink – and somewhere in the backstage area, Eli Flair smiles at his wife.)

”It's a battle for the ages, it's a war that always rages
It's a fight to stay alive.
WHO IS GOING TO SURVIVE?
For fifteen years now it's been asked and now we'll finally know—“

(Wait for it…)

America's Team - who is the man - and who is going home?

(Sudden increase in the music’s intensity, and without warning, it cuts out.)

Angel (whispering): Five, four, three, two - let the battle come to you!

(And it kicks right back into the song. Quick cuts to the backstage, and the boys watching on the monitor, quick pan of the crowd, and back to Angel.)

“Invaders and Intruders - it's a challenge like none other
Brother versus brother Merritt's covered but I wonder
Will the man who always plans it still command it like a master
Or will something else or someone else provoke a huge DISASTER?”

(The CSWAvision behind them suddenly kicks to life, with a collage of scenes from the past)

Muppets, Midgets, No Excuses and No English
PLR and PEE ARE OH have barely scratched
The surface of three who staked a claim
And stopped by the one with a will unmatched!”

(Another cut – this time to Buckley and Benson… and back to Angel.)

”It's a battle for the ages, it's a war that always rages
It's a fight to stay alive.
WHO IS GOING TO SURVIVE?
For fifteen years now it's been asked and now we'll finally know—“

(She holds the chorus for an extra few seconds on this go- round.)

America's Team - who is the man - and who is going home?

(As she returns to the mic stand and reattachs it, she looks around the arena at the cheering fans – and can’t keep a smile from forming on her face.)

“Tensions mounted, teams decided; battle lines decided, drawn
There's more underneath it all than is ever seen from dusk 'till dawn
And whether anyone can see it things that go down tonight will rock
The C-S-DUB now to forever START THE BATTLE START THE CLOCK!”

(Aaaaand… the music completely died.)

ANGEL (whispering again): “....Five, four, three, two...let the battle start with you....”

(She kisses her index and middle fingers and waves toward the crowd before she and the band leave the stage to a huge ovation from the 20,000-plus in the MCI Center – as we return to Buckley and Benson.)

BB: Folks, once again, that was Valerian's Garden! What an amazing kick-off to this out-of-the-ordinary show!

SB: What, because we're actually having one? And wait a second, what's this rumor I hear about that Angel chick being...

BB: Back five minutes and you're already thinking about stirring up trouble with Eli? Come on Sammy, at least wait until his match later tonight.

SB: Alright, alright. But I can't promise such a moratorium on making fun of Mike Plett.

BB: I'll give you that one. Folks, normally I'd give you a rundown of the show, but the way things are set up tonight, that'd take way too long. If you've been following things at all, you know that many of tonight's matches are part of team challenge series put together by Chad Merritt. And, as always at Battle of the Belts, all the titles are on the line tonight.

SB: And the US Title's up for grabs twice! Gotta love those odds for Shane Southern. I have a feeling that everybody's favorite good ol' boy is going to regret turning down the Intruders.

BB: Not only are titles on the line tonight, folks, but we'll find out who the next two contenders to the CSWA World Championship are. The next title shot has been guaranteed to the winner of the match between two former World Champions: Evan Aho and Eli Flair.

SB: Since I'm reserving the Flair comments, does that mean this would be a good time to bring up the fact that I think Aho needs a personality transplant?

BB: Many people think the same thing about you, Sammy. Fans, by now you know about Main Event here tonight for the CSWA World Championship. "The Living Legend" Mark Windham returned and stormed through the ranks of CSWA talent last year, capturing the World Title at our last FISH FUND pay-per-view. Since then, he's faced and been taken to the limit by champions like Tom Adler. Tonight, he faces off against the man who can not only put forth a claim to being a preeminent CSWA champion, but a man who has a pretty good record in title matches against Mark Windham.

SB: Ah, good ol' Bugbrain, how I've missed the chances to point out how many ways he's all washed up.

BB: It's Windham/Hornet, a battle of the original CSWA veterans, for the CSWA World Title. Up first, however...

(As Buckley gets ready to talk about the first match of the night, he's interrupted...)

(The CSWAvision screen lights up, as the fans in attendance turn their attention toward it. Backstage, "Triple X" Sean Stevens is standing in front of a black and orange, "Battle of the Belts" backdrop. Poison Ivy is conspicuous by her absence. He looks considerably different from the last time he competed in a CSWA ring, in a match where he did something a lot of people thought he couldn’t, rising to the occasion and defeating the legendary Deacon. He's sporting a bit of peach fuzz underneath his chin, and it's increasingly clear that his long golden locks are much shorter... just beneath his ears. He glances over at Rudy Seitzer standing next to him, nodding his head in approval, as the session begins.)

RS: Triple X, with all due respect… you weren’t assigned a match this evening, which was sort of a... surprise to many in the locker room, not to mention your fans... why are you here?"

Triple X: To be honest, Rudy... I have no idea why I even bother. I’m not a quitter, but I’m not dumb either. I’m fighting a losing battle as a competitor in the CSWA, and the more I fight, the weaker I am. For the past two-and-a-half years, all I’ve done was bust my ass here. I bust my ass to get better, to win titles, to raise the level of my performance in this company. And, I’m not tooting my own horn when I say this, but... I’ve done it. I’ve been successful. Can you name one opponent who’s stepped in the ring with me, that’s got the best of me?

(Seitzer simply shakes his head, "No.")

Triple X: I outwrestled Hornet at FISH FUND... I proved that I’m leap years ahead of Mike Plett, the simple fact that he’s never beaten me proves that point for me, in fact. Deacon... a CSWA legend... the champion that never lost his title... one of the most dominant figures to ever grace a CSWA ring, tried to stop me, and he got smacked down. What else do I have to do? Wrestle and take Eli Flair to his limits?

... Well, I did that, too.

I’ve come to the realization that, unless you have a famous last name, the CSWA won’t do you any favors, and it doesn’t matter how hard you bust your ass here, ultimately... you’re doing it for nothing. I should’ve had a match... this is one of the biggest events of the year... I’m one of the biggest stars in the wrestling industry. But, I don’t... and, there’s nothing I can do about it."

So, to answer your question, Rudy... I promised my fans that I would come here tonight and make waves... and, I was. That’s why I came. But, I’ve just realized that in order to make waves here, you have to be important to the company, and as hard as it may be to admit it... Sean "Triple X" Stevens isn’t important to Chad Merritt and the CSWA. Therefore, I’m going to get my girlfriend, I’ll say goodbye to Eli Flair, Angel – and, congratulate her on the kickass performance, then I’m leaving.

RS: By leaving you don’t mea—

Triple X: --Leaving. ...to all my fans, thank you for the love and support you’ve shown me over the years. I wouldn’t have made it as far as I did, if it wasn’t for you.

(Stevens abruptly leaves the interview scene as Seitzer stands there, dumbfounded. CSWAvision fades to black, as a chorus of boos follows.)