BB:  In our last match, two of the greatest CSWA World Champions of their time faced off. 

SB:  And a pathetic excuse for one showed up to stick his nose in.

BB:  And in this one, we've got the exact same type of match.  Both of these men have been to the top of the mountain.  But both of them have also confessed to feeling overshadowed...

(CUE UP: “Ride of the Valkyries”)

BB: This is definitely one of the “dream matches” with historical significance after the fact.

SB: What?

BB: Well, look at it. Back when Eli Flair first entered the CSWA, would you have considered the Eliminator taking on GUNS to be a match with any kind of significance?

SB: Nope.

BB: When the CSWA returned in 1998 with GUNS in the World Title hunt and Eli Flair was still on the shelf, did you think this match had a chance of happening?

SB: Nope.

BB: Look how times change.

(CUE UP: “Phucking Phreak” – Velvet Acid Christ)

SB: Times do change, Buckley – and if I can be serious for just a minute… I really respect Eli Flair’s work ethic and dedication. He’s one of the only people in the CSWA’s history who won that World Title solely on his merits in the CSWA, not for a name he built outside this company. But GUNS is one of those names that transcend promotion boundaries.

BB: That’s not the point, Sammy, and you know it. Win or lose, GUNS’ legacy in this business is assured, and I think it’s safe to assume that Eli Flair’s, while still in the process of being written, is fairly safe as well. This match, to me, is more about these men having an incorrigible sense of pride and ego, which will not let either rest until they know how they match up against each other. Two former CSWA World Champions, half a decade apart – and regardless of what Eli says, he  has to view GUNS as one of the biggest challenges his career could possibly face. And regardless of what GUNS says, I think if you asked him in a moment of seriousness, he’d point to Eli Flair as the toughest challenge from the new class that he could face. It’s funny to refer to Eli as new class, but compared to GUNS, that’s what he is.

SB: You know – you’ve had something hanging out of your nose all night.

BB: … Ben Worthington has finished giving instructions to these two men – and we’ve got a staredown! These two men are intense!

SB: Wouldn’t you be? GUNS is on a ‘Roid Rage, and Eli is overly-aggro. They could use a drink. While they’re at it, they should get ME one.

BB: They lock up, and it’s a power struggle in the middle of the ring. They gear back… and it’s… ELI who’s shoved backwards! When’s the last time we saw that?

SB: When Eli wrestled Deacon?

BB: Exactly. How many people in this sport are actually bigger than Eli Flair?

SB: Eddy.

BB: Eddy isn’t bigger than Eli.

SB: I’m talking about his name and his reputation. That’s all that matters.

BB: They lock up again, and Eli grabs GUNS around the neck and tosses him into the corner! He’s firing with right hands! GUNS fires back! Fist! Elbow to the neck! Eli staggers back! GUNS with a shoulder tackle from behind!

SB: Who’s gonna bust out the Bionic Knees first?

BB: Eli Flair doesn’t have a bionic knee.

SB: So it’ll be GUNS then.

BB: Eli is momentarily dazed, GUNS takes the opportunity to hook him from behind! German suplex! Worthington slides into position, ONE…. TWO…. Kickout by Flair! Not yet!

SB: Not yet, but soon.

BB: GUNS continues the assault, getting to his feet and kicking Eli in the ribs! Again! And a third time! The wily veteran is obviously showing his contempt for his young challenger!

SB: Now, when you say wily veteran… do you mean Eli Flair, or do you mean GUNS? And since when are either of these men young challengers?

BB: Do you have to make everything more complicated than it is?

SB: Yes.

BB: I thought as much. GUNS with another kick to Eli’s ribs, as the King of Extreme continues to try to climb back to his feet! A fifth kick ,and Eli rolls to the ropes, using them to get back up, all the while preventing GUNS from exacting any more of the assault while he’s on the ropes!

SB: Wuss.

BB: I think he heard that, Sammy.

SB: Someone behind me said it, not me. Really. REALLY!

BB: Ben Worthington kept GUNS back while Eli pulled himself up on the ropes – that’s smart strategy by Eli Flair. GUNS finally turns Eli around and sends him into the opposite side! Eli bounds back, and a back bodydrop by GUNS floors Flair!

SB: He’s not a four-time EN/CSWA World Champion for nothing, Buckley!

BB: GUNS grabs Eli by the hair and begins to choke him out on the mat! Worthington counts, but GUNS doesn’t break the hold! WAIT! Eli is fighting his way to his feet! GUNS still has that choke, but with Eli fighting his way up, he’s losing leverage! Eli hooks his head! NECKBREAKER! Eli to his feet, with GUNS following half a step behind! Kick to the gut by Flair, DDT! The cover, ONE…. TWO…. KICKOUT!

SB: I’ll say this for him… not many hit better DDTs than Flair.

BB: Even Eddy?

SB: Eddy doesn’t qualify for comparison, I have to remain impartial.

BB: Eli to his feet first, and he sends GUNS into the ropes! NO! GUNS hold fast and reverses the whip, and Eli is into the ropes! He bounds back – BIONIC KNEELIFT! BIONIC KNEELIFT! Eli hits the mat hard! GUNS going for the cover—NO! Eli rolled to the outside, and he’s shaking the cobwebs from his head as best he can!

SB: You called that all wrong.

BB: Huh?

SB: Flair just took the Bionic Kneelift, and didn’t get knocked out from it. That’s gotta throw GUNS’ game off just a bit.

BB: Eli’s tougher than the average bear, definitely. But GUNS follows him outside, and sends him headfirst into the ringpost!

SB: (shudders)  Don’t bring up bears, Buckley.  Is he bleeding yet?

BB: It doesn’t look like it.

SB: Only a matter of time.

BB: GUNS whips Eli into the steel guardrail! He follows up with a clothesline – NO! Eli with a backdrop, and GUNS is dropped into the first row! Eli has him by the hair, and drags him back over!

SB: Just wait – you’ll see someone hit the third row soon.

BB: Eli has GUNS by the throat… CHOKESLAM onto the concrete floor! Eli sends GUNS back into the ring, and he hooks his head from behind!

SB: It can’t end here, Buckley!

BB: Eli has GUNS set up for the Fallen One – WAIT! GUNS wraps those massive arms around Eli’s midsection… HE LIFTS THE KING OF EXTREME UP! WHAT POWER! And he dropped Eli face first on the top turnbuckle!

SB: There’s the blood, Buckley – I think GUNS broke Eli’s nose.

BB: Eli is, indeed, beginning to bleed from the nose – I think you’re right, it’s broken! GUNS has him by the hair, and he sends him shoulder- first into the ring post between the top two turnbuckles! GUNS pulls him back and hooks his neck and arm! NO! Mule kick by Eli Flair breaks the hold and GUNS is in pain!

SB: Cheap move.

BB: If Eddy did it you’d be singing a very different tune.

SB: Eddy’s a paragon of virtue. And I think GUNS is singing a different tune now. Different pitch, at least.

BB: Eli has GUNS by the arm, and he whips GUNS into the ropes! Eli with a fist to the midsection! He hooks GUNS by the head – GUNS shifted his weight and rolled Eli up! ONE…. TWO…. KICKOUT by Flair! GUNS remains on the offensive, hammering his fists into the back of Eli’s head and neck! He hooks him, double underhook suplex! GUNS off the ropes… BIONIC KNEEDROP! There’s the cover, ONE…. TWO…. THR—KICKOUT!

SB: Where’s Eddy?

BB: Knock it off, Sammy. GUNS hoists Eli up… MILITARY PRESS! Can you believe it, Sammy? He’s got the three hundred pound Eli Flair up in a military press! I think we’re about to see a third row toss! WAIT A SECOND! ELI FLAIR HOOKED GUNS BY THE HEAD! GUNS CAN’T GET HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!

SB: I’m bored.

BB: GUNS can’t hold him up! Eli breaks the press and lands on the mat with GUNS’ head hooked! FALLEN ONE! Eli hooks the leg! ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! GUNS was able to drape his foot across the bottom rope! Eli pulls GUNS to his feet and crotches him on the top turnbuckle! He’s hooked GUNS’ head and is climbing the corner!

SB: This’ll end badly.

BB: Eli has GUNS standing on the top rope, he’s about to hit a superplex! He hits this it’s gotta be over, Sammy!

SB: So you say.

BB: GUNS with a shot to the ribs! And another! Eli is struggling to pull GUNS off the top rope, but he’s locked his feet into the top rope! GUNS JUST SHOVED ELI OFF THE TOP ROPE! ELI HIT THE CONCRETE WITH A SICKENING THUD! GOOD LORD, SAMMY! ELI FLAIR COULD BE SERIOUSLY HURT!

SB: Serves him right.

BB: GUNS lowers himself to the mat, and Ben Worthington’s count is up to three! Four! Five!

SB: You can count!

BB: Eli is stirring on the outside, and GUNS reaches down and grabs him by the hair, pulling him back into the ring! Eli collapses down to one knee, and GUNS looks like he’s got this one in the bag!

SB: Third Row Incorporated, here we come!

BB: That fall certainly took the fight out of Flair – GUNS sends him into the ropes – he’s preparing for the Bionic Kneelift one more time! NO! Eli hooked the top rope with his arms, breaking up the Irish whip! GUNS moves in for the kill, grabbing Flair by the hair once more! He goes for a suplex… ELI BLOCKED IT! He reversed, and GUNS is hit with a monster suplex! Eli got all three hundred sixty five pounds up! Hook of the head, FALLEN ONE!

SB: I knew that’d happen.

BB: The cover, ONE…. TWO…. THREE! Kickout! NO! GUNS kicked out half a second too late! WORTHINGTON CALLS FOR THE BELL ! He’s awarded this match to Eli Flair! Eli Flair has just pinned the Strongest Arms in the World!

SB: So is that an upset or not?

BB: I don’t have the slightest idea, Sammy! GUNS is in stunned disbelief, and Eli allows his hand to be raised by Ben Worthington! Somehow, Sammy, I think these two men have not had their last meeting over the course of their careers! We’ll be right back!