BB: Folks, after the three tremendous matches we've seen already, we move on to what I can only call the low point of this entire spectacular event..and that’s the "Presidential Tournament." As most of you know, a couple of months ago, Commissioner Stephen Thomas announced his intent to revive the CSWA Presidential Championship. Unfortunately, he intended to put himself in the tournament, along with other CSWA office staff. In response, Vice-Commissioner Mark Vizzachero created another Presidential Tournament including some of the CSWA’s best talent. And all of you saw some of the best go at it…leaving two wrestlers to battle it out tomorrow, Dante Inferno and Randy Harders.
However, now it’s time for the "Finals" of the Commissioner’s Tournament to crown a Presidential Champion. Let’s head down to Rhubarb Jones.
"Commissioner's" PRESIDENTIAL CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT FINALS
Commissioner Stephen Thomas
RJ: Thanks, Bill. Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is one-fall with a twenty-minute time limit. It is the final match in the CSWA Presidential Championship Tournament. First entering the ring and competing in the blue singlet, you may remember him best when he was hung on the outside of a cage in his underwear… he is the CSWA’s Vice President of Security, Mr. GREGG GETHARD! (crowd cheers)
His opponent…(the crowd turns, booing furiously) needs no introduction… but wants one anyway. He is co-owner of CS Enterprises, Inc. and the sole commissioner of the CSWA…and I quote, "The single most influential man in the sport of professional wrestling," unquote. Here is Mr. STEPHEN THOMAS!!! (The boos continue as Thomas is brought down to the ring on the back of a golf cart, waving to the crowd. He climbs into the ring and begins doing jumping jacks as Referee Patrick Young displays the new Presidential belt.)
BB: Well, folks…I could say we’ve now seen it all… but considering some of the other things that have happened in the CSWA, that would be an understatement.
SB: Uh oh… "The Commish" has the microphone.
ST: Tonight’s a special night, folks. It’s one of the CSWA’s biggest events, and we’re bringing back one of the premiere titles in professional wrestling today. It’s only fitting that everything be just right…from the lighting, to the music, to the announcing. A classic match needs a classic announcer. I’m certainly not taking anything away from Bill Buckley or Sammy Benson…but I feel like they could use a little help tonight.
SB: Gee thanks.
ST: So in order to make things perfect…I’d like you all to welcome Lyle Tallman back to the booth. (The crowd seems unsure.) Many of you know him as… the RED MIDGET!
SB: Um, doesn't he realize that Lyle's already at the booth?
BB: Maybe he can't see him over the desk.
SB: (laughing) You know, I knew you had it in you, Buckley.
RM: Shut up, Benson. You too, Buckley.
SB: Oh, go climb a ladder or something.
RM: Okay. (Red climbs up, stands on his chair, steps on Benson’s leg, and hoists himself onto the table, waving to the fans.)
SB: You little…I wasn’t serious. (Red climbs back down.)
RM: Sorry, Sammy, just saying hello to the fans before this huge match gets underway.
BB: Huge match? This is a farce.
RM: Why don’t you go in the ring and tell that to your boss, Bill?
BB: There’s the bell. Thomas approaches the center of the ring and offers his hand to his VP of Security. Gethard shakes…and promptly gets kicked in the stomach!!! What’s wrong with Thomas?!
RM: It’s the will to win, Bill…it’s what separates those of us in power from those of you down below.
BB: Oh…now you’re in power?
RM: You’ll be getting the memo on your desk tomorrow.
BB & SB: What?!
BB: You’ve got to be kidding.
RM: You only wish I were. Now call the match…
BB: Thomas continues his assault on Gethard, sending him into the ropes and catching him with a flabby-armed clothesline. Gethard doesn’t go down…instead, he catches Thomas in an armbar and slams him chest-first into the turnbuckle. The would-be Presidential Champ is in trouble, as Gethard uses the momentum to roll him up! ONE……….TWO………NO, Thomas kicks out!
RM: Gethard had the tights!
BB: Oh he did not. Sammy, you’re being awful quiet over there.
SB: Don’t mind me… I’m plotting Red’s second death.
RM: Listen here you genetic freak…
SB: Someone who is less than four feet tall is calling me a genetic freak?
BB: Now, now boys. Back to the match at hand. Thomas rolls outside, eluding Gethard…but it looks like security is trying to make him get back in the ring!
RM: They better watch out, he’ll fire them.
BB: I don’t think they care…they just want to help out their boss.
RM: Thomas is their boss.
BB: Apparently they think Gethard is. Security grabs hold of Thomas and rolls him back in…where Gethard is waiting. Gregg pulls the Commish up to his feet and rockets him into the turnbuckle, before following with a huge elbow!!! Thomas stumbles out of the corner and falls to the mat face-first! Gethard can taste it, and so can this crowd! Gregg is headed to the ropes!!! Gethard is going to spoil Thomas’s plans once and for all! He only climbs to the second rope, and now he’s waiting for Thomas to get to his feet. Thomas finally gets to his feet…and he’s got no idea that Gethard is perched and waiting for him. Here comes Gethard………BULLDOG from the second rope! He rolls Thomas over! This is it! ONE………TWO………NOOOOO!!! What happened? Thomas didn’t kick out!
RM: The referee looks like he got something in his eye.
BB: You’ve got to be kidding me! Now, Thomas finally kicks out, and Gethard can’t believe it! He’s checking on Patrick Young, who does appear to be concerned with his eye. Gethard is gesturing to the back for another referee…… What is Thomas doing? He’s reaching into his tights!
SB: Dear Lord no!!!!
BB: Young appears to have taken care of his eye, and now Gethard goes back down for the cover… but Thomas NAILS him with a closed fist, and whatever he had in it!!! Gethard is OUT! I can’t believe this…
RM: Believe it…
BB: Thomas rolls Gethard over and hooks the leg. One………Two………Three. Stephen Thomas wins the tournament he set up for himself…and I guess he’s the new Presidential Champion.
RM: Don’t sound so enthused, Bill.
BB: Give it up, Red. We all know who you work for.
RM: The question is…do you know who you work for.
BB: Sure I do…and here comes one of those men right now. Vice-Commissioner Vizzachero is in the aisleway! Sunshine Del Payne steps to his side…and she’s got the Presidential Title!
RM: WHAT? Who gave it to her? Somebody’s getting fired!
BB: Vizz has the mic!
VCV: Well, well, well. Congratulations are in order, Steve. You cheated to beat one of your employees. We tried to stop this earlier. We tried to make it easy for you to get out of this farce… but you wouldn’t listen.
ST: You better watch it, Vizzachero. You’re not so important that you can’t be fired, no matter what you think.
VCV: Do whatcha gotta do, Steve. But the fact is, I won’t work for a man like you another day longer.
ST: Then I expect your resignation on my desk tomorrow morning. Now tell your psychotic friend to bring MY title down here…now!
(Sunshine takes the mic)
SDP: The only psychotic ones around here, Steve, are you and your little friend. You may have forgotten that I own 9% of the stock in the CSWA. I’ve decided that it’s time for a change. And so have some of the others on the Board of Directors.
ST: (golf claps) Well, isn’t that nice. But the fact is, you and your friends only have a say on anything that I let you have a say on. I’m the primary stockholder. Now give me MY BELT!
VCV: You're right about that. You’ve got 35% of the shares of stock. Sunshine and the rest of the Board only add up to a paltry 15% between them.
ST: These fans are ready for the next match…and I’m ready to have my belt. Somebody shut his microphone off..NOW!
VCV: But after a long search, we’ve been able to come up with some help to initiate a little ‘hostile takeover’ of our own, Steve.
ST: Well bring it on, kid. Because I’m not afraid of you, Del Payne, or anybody else.
Voice: Oh really?
(Thomas’s face blanches. Vizzachero and Sunshine part, allowing a third person to join them on the rampway. The crowd pops as former Co-Commissioner CHAD MERRITT is shown on the big screens.)
ST: You’re not supposed to be here. You know what I can do…you know I can bring you down once and for all.
CM: You may be right, Steve. But I couldn’t sit back and watch you bring the CSWA down in the toilet. I made a mistake that did that once… and I won’t let it happen again.
ST: It doesn’t matter what you want, Chad. I hold all the cards here.
CM: Again, you might be right. But I’ve not only got the backing of your entire staff… I’ve got your belt. And if you want it, you’ve got to go through me. Are you up for it, Steve?
ST: You know…I knew you’d turn up sooner or later. What do you want?
CM: Nothing much, really. Just a match.
ST: A match? In the ring? (laughs) After what I just did to Gethard?
CM: That’s it.
ST: And what are the stakes?
CM: If you win, you get your belt, and I leave again. If I win, I get reinstated, and you keep your mouth shut.
ST: You know, I shouldn’t… but I’m intrigued. And I want my belt. But I tell you what, I just wrestled, so I’d be at a disadvantage. Instead, let’s try a game of intelligence.
CM: Me versus you in a test of intelligence? You sure you don’t want a handicap?
ST: Nothing more than I get to choose the game… and you leave my staff there on the ramp.
CM: Let’s do it. (crowd pops)
ST: Marvin, cue the set!!!
(The lights go out, except for spotlight illuminating a large set descending into the ring.)
ST: Marvin, cue Regis!
(The large screens above the rampway and stationed throughout the arena show the face of Regis Philbin.)
RP: It's time to play....Who Wants...To Be A Commissioner! I'm your host, Regis Philbin, being lowered down to the arena here on the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire set for this very special edition. I think it's safe to say that we've never had a game with more on the line than this one....usually we're just trying to give away a million dollars. But tonight, you've seen the stakes....control of a company, millions, and a championship. As our contestants take their spots here in the ring, let me give you the rules for this special edition. In this head-to-head competition, each man will be asked one question per round. The first man to miss a question in a round which his opponent gets his correct, wins the game. If both men miss a question, we continue to the next round. Because of logistics, we'll only have two lifelines....the 50-50, in which we eliminate two incorrect answers, and a special combination of the phone-a-friend and ask the audience lifeline, in which Mr. Merritt or Mr. Thomas can either poll the audience by applause, OR may ask any specific member of the audience for their answer. It looks like we're all buckled in....so let's play...Who Wants....To Be A Commissioner.
CM: This is the dumbest thing I've ever....
RP: Since Commissioner Thomas picked the game, we'll put him in the hot seat first with a question. This first round features geography questions for both men to keep it fair. Mr. Thomas: In what state is "Tobacco Road" located? Is it: A) North Carolina, B) California, C) Nirvana or D) Consciousness.
CM: What kind of lame-brain half....
RP: Please, Mr. Merritt, it's Mr. Thomas's turn. And the questions get harder as we progress. Mr. Thomas?
ST: Well, Regis, I'm from North Carolina...so I'd have to go with D) Consciousness.
RP: (looks flustered) OK....is that your final answer?
ST: (nodding head) No...of course not. The answer is A) North Carolina.
RP: You're absolutely correct! (ominous music plays) Now it's your turn Mr. Merritt. Talofofo Falls are located in which of the following: A) Brazil, B) Senegal, C) Guam or D) Canada.
CM: You call this fair? What's next, pi to the three millionth digit?
ST: Aw, poor Chad. I got mine right, chico.
CM: I hate to burst your bubble, Steve...but even when you pay off the game show host it doesn't work out for you. As you may recall, the CSWA went to a special location in 1991 for its Christmas special. Oh...you may not recall, you were zonked out on anti-RETARD medication half the time, I suppose. The answer is C) Guam.
RP: Is that your....
CM: Oh shut up.
RP: Guam is absolutely correct. Let's move on to round 2. Mr. Thomas, here's your pop culture question. Which of the following songs of the 1980s or 1990s dealt with a bloody massacre? Is it: A) Beat It, B) Bloody Sunday, C) Quit Playing Games (With My Heart) or D) When Doves Cry?
ST: Well, Regis, I'm a big U2 fan...
CM: Surprise, surprise...
ST: ...and the answer is B) Bloody Sunday.
RP: That's absolutely right. Mr. Merritt....your turn on pop culture. Which of the following characters from "What's Happening" died from falling off a couch? Is it: A) Rog, B) Mama, C) Rerun or D) Shirley?
CM: Please tell me you're kidding me.
RP: No sir.
CM: You know, Regis, I'd like to use a lifeline.
RP: Great...would you like to use the 50-50 or the Ask the Audience.
CM: I'd like to Ask the Audience.
RP: In this special edition of the show, you can either poll the audience by applause or ask a specific audience member.
CM: I'd like to ask an audience member, Regis....Lyle Tallman.
RP: We're going to make sure Mr. Tallman is mic'ed, and then you'll have thirty seconds to discuss your answer with him. Mr. Tallman, are you there?
RM: Yes, Regis, I'm here.
RP: The next voice you hear will be Mr. Merritt.
CM: Well, look who is it. My favorite midget come back to life.
RM: You idiot...you know I wouldn't give you the right answer if my life depended on it.
CM: Oh I don't want the answer from you, Lyle...I just wanted the chance to talk to you. I haven't seen you in so long...and I've missed you. The way your pointy little head bobs up and down at knee-high level when you're running away. Plus, I've been saving up so many short jokes for your return. But the real question is...just what did it take to get you to work for Thomas....was it money or just out-and-out revenge?
RM: You know the answer to that, fool. He didn't have to pay me a dime.
CM: No, he just had to keep you alive like a Han Solo-reject. Personally, I think you look more like Jabba. But I'm running out of time here, Red...and so are you. When I'm done with you this time....I'll have you screaming for your.....
RP: Time's up, Mr. Merritt...I need your answer.
RP: And that's absolutely right! Both of you have answered the first two questions right...in this round, we'll ask you to put four historical events in order. Mr. Thomas, put the following in order from earliest to latest. A) WW2 breaks out in 1939, B) The US pulls out of Vietnam in 1973, C) The Challenger explosion of 1986, D) Britney Spears appears 'cold' on the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards in 1999.
ST: Well, I certainly remember the last one, Regis. The answer is A-B-C-D.
RP: That's right!
CM: This is the biggest farce I've ever seen.
RP: Please, Mr. Merritt. Here's your question. Put the following historical events in order from earliest to most recent. A) The Kim Dynasty, B) The Ming Dynasty, C) Fireworks are created in China and D) Genghis Khan rules the Mongols. Unfortunately, your 50-50 lifeline cannot be used on this type of question.
CM: How did I ever guess? The answer, you Kathie Lee reject, is D-C-B....and A isn't a real dynasty!
RP: Judges? (a bell sounds) Mr. Merritt...that's absolutely right. (crowd pops)
CM: Thomas...I'm about ready to come over there and beat the snot out of you if you don't end this fiasco soon.
ST: All in good time, Chad...all in good time.
RP: Here's round 4...featuring questions on human physiology. Mr. Thomas, here's yours. The metatarsal is located in which of the following: A) the heart, B) the arm, C) the foot or D) the thigh.
ST: Regis...are you sure that's my question.
RP: (looks flustered) Well....actually.....let me rephrase that...
CM: I think not....you take what you get, Steve.
CM: Judges! (bell sounds)
ST: I'd like to use my Ask The Audience lifeline to ask Lyle Tallman.
RP: Well, this is a first...Mr. Thomas, you have thirty seconds to discuss with Mr. Tallman.
ST: Alright Lyle, it's time for you to earn part of the money I've paid you. Where's the metatarsal?
RM: Um, I think it's the arm...no, the foot...no, the arm.
ST: Come on Lyle, you're a former wrestler, you've gotta know this one.
RM: Well....I'm pretty sure it's....
ST: You better be perfectly sure you little mutant half-breed!
RM: Hey!! I don't have to be called....
ST: You do if you want to get paid....
RM: I think it's the foot.
RP: I need your answer, Mr. Thomas.
ST: Well, the midget thinks it's the foot...but well, he's a midget, so I'm going with B) the arm.
RP: I'm sorry...surprisingly enough, our little midget friend was right. The metatarsal bones are in the foot.
ST: Why you stinking little....
RP: Mr. Merritt, it's time for your question. If you get this one correct, the game is over.
CM: Thank goodness.
RP: In human physiology, here is your question. Which vertebrae are necessary for motor function of the lower body: A) 4th and 5th, B) 5th and 6th, C) 3rd, 4th and 5th, D) 7th, 8th and 9th?
CM: You have got to be kidding me. I'd like to use my 50-50 lifeline.
RP: Alright. Computer, please remove two of the incorrect answers, leaving one incorrect answer and the correct answer. There we are. You're down to options A and C, Chad.
CM: I can see that, Regis. Good grief...I don't know...I'll go with answer C. And yes...that's my final stupid answer.
RP: I'm sorry, Mr. Merritt, the answer was A) 4th and 5th. Well folks, both players missed that question, so no one wins outright. We're going to go to a final sudden death tiebreaker question. Gentlemen, buzzers are being placed before you. If you buzz in first and answer the question correctly, you win the game. However, if your answer is wrong, your opponent wins. This is for all the marbles, folks. Are you both ready?
ST: Yes, Regis.
CM: Get on with it, old man.
RP: I think you'll both be pleased with this question in college basketball. In the 1982 NCAA Championship game between the University of North Carolina and Georgetown, who was the highest-scoring....(buzzer interrupts Regis)...yes, Mr. Thomas, your answer for the win....
ST: Michael Jordan!
RP: I'm sorry....the end of the question was who was the highest-scoring player on the losing team...the answer was Patrick Ewing. I'm sorry, Mr. Thomas, but we have a new Commissioner! Mr. Merritt, you are the winner! (crowd pops) (Thomas's head falls to the podium)
CM: Was there ever any doubt? Folks, I want to thank you for your support tonight. I know I haven't always earned it in the past. Now I could boot Thomas out of here tonight (crowd cheers), making all of us very happy people...but it wouldn't be right. Steve helped build the CSWA and CS Enterprises into what they've become. However, there are going to be a few immediate changes that I'm sure my business partner won't mind, since I'm the Commish. First...I'm o-fish-ally declaring that the match between Randy Harders and Dante Inferno tomorrow night is for the CSWA Presidential Championship. Furthermore, if any member of the Unholy or the Family interferes, they will be suspended from the CSWA. Also, as many of you know, no dates have been announced for shows during the holidays or the first part of January. I'm not going to attempt to jump in and do half-baked shows now. But I can guarantee you that beginning in late January and early February...the road to one of the CSWA's most historically-EXPLOSIVE PPVs will begin....as we countdown to the first CSWA PPV of the millenium....WINTER'S WARRIORS! (huge crowd pop)
So without further adieu, let's move along to the Greensboro Contenders Battle Royal. Oh, and I almost forgot....Lyle, if you're still in the building after the next five minutes, I'm giving a bonus to anyone who physically removes you. The clock is ticking.... Now, I'm going to collect my VP of Security, and I'll see you folks later. (Merritt leaves the ring, gesturing to security to carry Gethard out behind him, as Thomas, Regis, and the set ascend back into the upper recesses of the arena.)
BB: Well there you have it, folks! Chad Merritt is back as co-owner and Commissioner....and the Red Midget here is NOT nor will he ever be my boss!
RM: You don't have to sound so happy about it. Sammy, what are you mumbling about over there.
RM: Stop that...he was just kidding.
BB: I don't think so. He looked dead serious to me.
RM: Stop it!
RM: I'm leaving now...you people are insane.
SB: Oh come on...just stay for another four minutes and three seconds...PLEASE!
RM: Thomas won't let you get away with this...
SB: Thomas has other things to worry about then your undersized behind...Buckley, do you still have your Haliburton under the desk as usual?
BB: Of course, Sammy...and you're welcome to borrow it...for any reason.
SB: Did you ever get that dent out from the last time I jacked Red here over the head with it?
BB: Oh this is a brand new one, Sammy...and it's even heavier than the last one.
SB: Sounds great....more bang for your buck, so to speak.
(The Red Midget runs screaming from the commentators' table....the crowd collectively laughs and begins a "Sammy" chant.)
BB: Folks, that may be a first...I don't know if the fans have ever cheered for Sammy before.
SB: And I'm lovin' it.
CSWA GREENSBORO CONTENDERS BATTLE ROYAL
Winner Gets Title Shot on DAY TWO vs. Wicked Sight
BB: It looks like things are set to get back to normal, or as normal as they ever get around here. Rhubarb Jones is announcing the competitors for the Greensboro Contenders Battle Royal. They are: Commando, Ellis Jackson, MaxXx, Michael Gettis, Marcus Hagger, Erik Jackson, Flynn Steele, Lance Richards, Cardigo Mysterian and Zero.
SB: This may be the best crop of contenders we've ever had for the Greensboro Championship, including champion Wicked Sight.
BB: As well as Lawrence Stanley, who almost got away with stealing the Greensboro Title earlier tonight! Folks, the winner of this ten-man battle royal will go on to face Wicked Sight tomorrow night for the title! Things are underway....watch out!!!!!
(Buckley and Benson dive out of the way as Michael Gettis throws Lance Richards over the top of the table, and almost into the fans behind. Gettis climbs on top of the table and elbows Richards against the steel railing, before pulling him back over the table and tossing him in the ring. Buckley and Benson settle back in behind the table.)
BB: Talk about taking the action right to us! Gettis and Richards are finally in the ring, along with MaxXx and Erik Jackson. MaxXx back-bodydrops Jackson, but isn't close enough to the ropes to send him out. Now making their way down to the ring are Flynn Steele and Commando. As Steele climbs into the ring, he is hit by Richards, who was sent against the ropes. Steele hits the floor, but Commando gives him a friendly boost into the ring. However...Commando seems to be staying out of the action...he's not getting in the ring.
SB: Smart move...stay outside until you're forced in.
BB: Steele teems up with MaxXx against Jackson, as the two men are stomping a mudhole into Erik Jackson in the corner. But the party gets another member as Gettis sends Richards across the ring again...whipping him into the three men in the corner....and coming across with a huge elbow!
SB: That's a huge pileup!
BB: And only Michael Gettis is still on top! Marcus Hagger comes charging down to the ring and slides in quickly, while Cardigo Mysterian seems to stalk his way down... taking a careful look at the situation. We've got eight of ten down now, although Cardigo and Commando have yet to get in the ring. Inside, Hagger charges into Erik Jackson, helping Gettis send the first man over the top and out of the battle royal. MaxXx charges in behind Gettis and almost sends him over, but get hammered by Hagger for his trouble. Hagger and Gettis are beating on MaxXx, while on the other side of the ring, Steele is in trouble from big Lance Richards! Richards has him tied up in the corner...and finally kicks him up and over the top. Steele tries to hold on, but Richards catches him with a big boot to the back to send him to the floor.
SB: And with two gone, here come the last two competitors.
BB: Referee Patrick Young is on the outside, and he's finally ordering both Commando and Mysterian into the ring. Cardigo goes in first, charging into the back of the nearest entanglement. Now Zero and "Corporate Raider" Ellis Jackson are on their way down. Inside, Mysterian grabs hold of MaxXx and rams him into the nearest turnbuckle. Now the big man is biting the side of MaxXx's face!!! He pulls the stunned MaxXx from the corner and flips him to the mat...and he's just slugging away! Commando climbs into the corner and watches on, disinterested! I don't think Commando even wants to be there.
SB: Apparently not...because he's leaving!
BB: Commando climbs off the turnbuckle, stands on the apron, and jumps to the ground. He just eliminated himself! What in the world?
SB: Watch out...because Mysterian's almost done with his first victim!
BB: Cardigo pulls a bloodied MaxXx to his feet, puts him in some variation of a chicken wing, and simply powers the man over the ropes! But he's still holding onto him! MaxXx is in incredible pain...as he's literally being held over the outside by his arms! Finally, Gettis crashes into Cardigo, who let's go of MaxXx and turns to meet his new prey! Gettis and Hagger start hammering on Cardigo, who shrugs off the blows and double clotheslines the two. With MaxXx and Commando eliminated, we're down to six men. Now it looks like our newest two are making their presence felt, as Zero slams into Flynn Steele and sends him down hard to the mat. Ellis Jackson pulls Marcus Hagger out of the fray and into a new one, as Cardigo continues to wail away on Gettis. Jackson sends Marcus over with a perfect bridge suplex, and then rolls through and sets up some odd variation on the STF! Zero and Steele continue to trade punches, while Gettis tries to crawl away from Mysterian, who simply picks the big Greensboro native up and slams him face-first into the secodn turnbuckle. Zero clotheslines Steele over the top, as Mysterian grabs the back of Gettis's neck and throws him over the top rope and he lands only half-on the mats surrounding the ring!
SB: And then there were four!
BB: Cardigo and Zero turn away from their ousted prey and begin circling each other, while Jackson pulls Hagger to his feet and appears on the verge of setting him up. Jackson whips Hagger into the ropes, and then simply ducks his head and back-body Marcus over the top and hard. Hagger hits the apron first, but then quickly falls to the floor.
SB: And then there were three!!!
BB: Gee, thanks Sammy. Zero and Cardigo charge into each other in a collar-and-elbow tie-up, as Jackson takes the opportunity to get a breather in the corner. But not for long, as Cardigo manhandles Zero into the corner, crushing both Zero and Jackson into the turnbuckle!
SB: That man is insane.
BB: You've finally figured that out? Zero and Jackson force their way out of the corner, but Cardigo is already set up! He comes off the ropes with a double clothesline....but his two targets duck those large arms and send Cardigo for the ride with a double back body drop...right over the top!!! Cardigo hits the mat hard...and he looks furious...even through that mask! He's grabbed hold of referee Patrick Young, and now he slams him into the guardrail!!! The other two referees for this bout run over to help Young out...but Cardigo's choking out Young!!!!
SB: It's about time somebody did.
BB: Inside, Zero and Jackson are going at it. Jackson edges out of a full nelson by Zero with a standing switch. Jackson sends Zero into the turnbuckle hard!!! Zero stumbles out of the corner.... SHOULDERBREAKER by Jackson!!! Good grief!! Zero's shoulder may be dislocated!
SB: That was horrible...I expected to see a bone sticking out! Oh look at that...looks like Wicked Sight wants to scout out the competition.
BB: I guess so. The Greensboro Champ is standing at the top of the aisleway. On the outside, securiy as come down to try and help restrain Cardigo! Inside, Zero grabs hold of that right shoulder...but Jackson is already on the attack. He slams him into the corner, and now he's got a boot against that shoulder! Zero uses that extreme pain to give him the power to push Jackson halfway across the ring. Jackson charges back in...but Zero ducks the attempt and trips Jackson. Ellis Jackson goes head-first into the turnbuckle...and now he's dazed! Zero tries to follow-up, but the pain in his shoulder is obviously too much! He finally masters it and whips Jackson into the ropes. But Jackson grabs the ropes, and the dropkick attempt by Zero misses completely! And he falls down hard on his shoulders and upper back! Jackson pulls Zero to his feet and sends him across......clothesline....and Jackson goes over the top!!!!
SB: Good grief....there's gotta be at least ten security guys over there trying to get Cardigo away from ringside and off of Young.
BB: But Jackson doesn't care...he's celebrating by himself in the middle of the ring. But here comes Wicked Sight!!!
SB: And look! Zero is hanging on to the top rope!
BB: His feet haven't hit the floor...but look at the pain on his face! If that right shoulder wasn't dislocated before, it may be now! And now Jackson sees him! He's on his way over to knock Zero to the floor...but he's intercepted by Wicked Sight!!! Sight shoves the Corporate Raider into the ropes, and then meets him with a dropkick to the chin! And now Sight is all over the man who tried to cost him the Greensboro Title earlier tonight!!! Zero has pulled himself back over the top...but he's collapsed in the corner, nursing that shoulder. Is it me, or does his shoulder already look swollen?
SB: Not to mention black and blue. He might need a drink worse than I do.
BB: Sight rolls out of the ring, leaving Jackson in the opposite corner from Zero. Zero has edged himself up onto the bottom rope, while Ellis is trying to shake off those punches from Sight. On the outside, security is finally beginning to succeed in removing Cardigo, while we've got a trainer down here tending to Patrick Young. Referee Manuel Juarez now has his eye on the action...but he's unaware of what's just happened.
SB: Well that's a huge surprise.
BB: Jackson is first to his feet, while Zero levers himself up to the second rope. Jackson charges over and grabs hold of Zero's feet. He yanks Zero out of the corner...landing him hard once again on his shoulders. Look at the grimace on Zero's face...the refs may have to stop this one. Jackson, still reeling a bit from the attack by Wicked Sight, pulls Zero up, only to level him with a shortarm clothesline. Ellis Jackson backs up towards the far-side ropes, waiting on Zero to get to his feet...
SB: If he does....
BB: Look at the man, Sammy...he hasn't given up yet...and I don't think he will. And here he comes, as the crowd gets behind him. But here comes Jackson! Ellis comes across for a swinging neckbreaker....he hooks the head....but Zero blocks the leg somehow!!!! Zero steadies his feet and hoists Jackson up....and over the top!!! Ellis Jackson lands on the apron....and Zero obviously gave everything he had left in that right shoulder on that one...he goes down to one knee. Jackson starts to climb back in, but Zero headbutts the member of the "Multinational Corporation." Jackson catches Zero with a knee, but Zero stumbles to his feet. Jackson goes for a haymaker with the right hand, but Zero dodges...and the momentum spins Jackson around!!!! Zero nails him with a knee to the back....and Ellis Jackson goes off the apron to the floor!!!! Referee Manuel Juarez calls for the bell!!! Zero has won this thing!!!! He'll go on to face Wicked Sight tomorrow!
SB: If he can move that right arm tomorrow.
BB: And Zero very wisely takes
a powder on the far side of the ring as Jackson climbs in to vent some
frustration by kicking the ropes. Zero gets his left arm raised by
Juarez...and now he heads down the aisleway. What a huge victory for
that young man! Folks, we're gonna take a break while you take a look at
this special video montage on CSWA World Heavyweight Champion Eli Flair...who
is just about 90 minutes away from taking on top contender Deacon for the
Onto Part 3 of TWS '99