BB: Sammy, it’s been a wonderful night for the CSWA to this point, maybe even the greatest ANNIVERSARY to date, though that depends largely on how we finish.

SB: Buckley I know your contract calls for you to say that every show is, “The greatest Showtime”, “Primetime”, and “Generic PPV.” Still, I admire your dedication. I agree we need to finish, not necessarily well, but quickly. My dog’s are barkin’.

BB: (Taken back) Your feet are hurting?

SB: No, my dogs are literally barking back home. There’s a live webcast on sammybenson.com. See’em? (Sammy points to a monitor on their desk.) I can’t remember if I fed them or not prior to leaving for the auditorium. I guess I, and any of you faithful viewers lifelessly watching on the net, will know in an hour, if my back issues of “The New Yorker” and “Maxim Magazine” are shredded across the carpet.

BB: You keep back issues of “Maxim”?

SB: I do more than just keep’em.

BB: That’s enough.

SB: Hey you asked!

BB: After fifteen years I never learn...

SB: I think you pinpointed why you’ve been here for fifteen years. You’re incapable of learning. Geez, Buckley you know there’s been a running pool in the back to see how long before you learn a trade, a (Sammy makes air quotations) “Life Skill.”

BB: I certainly see I’m loved around here.

SB: I’m already out $2000! Come on man, become an EMT or something.

BB: I’m happy with my job, thank you, and unlike my co-host I don’t have a deep seeded depression to drink away.

SB: I know you are. And Buckley?

BB: Yes Sammy?

SB: (Sammy gently lays his head on Buckley’s shoulder.) I wuv you.

(Bill stares at him in disbelief, then laughs.)

BB: I love you too Sammy. It’s been a wild ride. Folks speaking of finishes...

(Sammy removes his head off Buckley’s shoulder and mouths to the camera: “Buckley pads.”)

BB: ...our next match has a unique finish of it’s own. No pinfall, or submission. You win by making your opponent say, “I Quit.”

SB: Buckley some of the greatest matches in CSWA history have been “I Quit.” From Randalls vs. Hornet, to Benedict vs. Parsons.

BB: That was “I Quit?”

SB: No, that’s what I was saying through the entire horrible affair.

BB: Right. Just making sure.

SB: And of course, three years ago in this very arena: Flair/Troy Windham, Rage In The Cage.

(FTB)

(CUEUP: “Something In The Way” – Nirvana)

(CUTTO: Eli Flair and Troy Windham in the middle of the ring firing right hands at each other, Eli gaining the advantage after several seconds, pounding Windham in the neck.)

(CUTTO: Troy slamming Eli’s head into the cage door.)
(CUTTO: Flair DDTs Troy.)

“Underneath the bridge
The tarp has sprung a leak”

(CUTTO: Eli belly-to-belly suplexes Troy)
(CUTTO: Windham smacks Flair upside the head with a wrench.)

”And the animals I've trapped
Have all become my pets.”

(CUTTO: A bloodied Flair dropping Troy with a neckbreaker.)
(CUTTO: Troy, wearing a crimson mask, diving at Flair’s right knee.)

”And I'm living off of grass
And the drippings from the ceiling.”

(CUTTO: Windham over Flair, Troy shoving a mic in Eli’s face.)

(CUTTO: Troy slacknifing Flair.)

“It's ok to eat fish
'Cause they don't have any feelings.”

(CUTTO: Troy busting Flair in the knee with the wrench.)

”Something in the way.

(CUTTO: Flair and Windham in a tug of war of a chair.)

”Something in the way.

(CUTTO: Eli cracking Troy’s right wrist with the chair.)

”Something in the way.

(CUTTO: Flair shoving a chair into Troy’s gut.)

”Something in the way.

(CUTTO: Eli DDT’ing Troy.)

”Something in the way.

(CUTTO: Eli chokeslamming Patrick Young.)
(CUTTO: Troy drop kicking Flair’s right knee.)

“Underneath the bridge
The tarp has sprung a leak”

(CUTTO: Eli grating Troy’s face across the cage.)

”And the animals I've trapped
Have all become my pets.”

(CUTTO: Eli clotheslining Troy off the ropes, a mist of blood shooting in the air after the blow.)

”And I'm living off of grass
And the drippings from the ceiling.”

(CUTTO: Flair ramming the chair over Troy’s hand.)
(CUTTO: Troy slacknifing Eli on the ring steps.)

“It's ok to eat fish
'Cause they don't have any feelings.”

(CUTTO: Eddy Love checking on Troy at ringside.)
(CUTTO: Troy swinging a chair at a crippled Flair, who ducks, grabs Troy by the arm and wrestles him to the mat.)

”Something in the way.

(CUTTO: Eli busting Troy in the nose with a chair.)
(CUTTO: Flair snapping Troy’s fingers.)

”Something in the way.

(CUTTO: The following wide-shot of the action as another finger is broken.)

(CUTTO: Horrified fans at ringside.)

”Something in the way.

(CUTTO: Eddy Love throwing in a bloody towel to stop the match.)

(CUTTO: Troy in a fetal position, barely unrecognizable, smiling. He didn’t quit.)

”Something in the way.

(CUTTO: Eli walking up the rampway, peeking back at Troy in admiration.)

”Something in the way.

(FADE - music and video.)

(CUTTO: Buckley and Benson at their post. Shaken as if reliving the match.)

BB: Sammy we were there and to this day it’s still one of the more horrific things I’ve seen, in or out of this business.

SB: Topping seeing Grammy B naked as a boy?

BB: Yes.

SB: (shudders) It certainly was brutal. Some would say Troy Windham still hasn’t recovered from that match, and while Eli has, I think even he’d admit it’s the match that really changed how he looked at the business, at least taking total satisfaction from it.

BB: And here he is back in the boat again. Are we going to see anything close to what we saw in ANNIVERSARY 2001?

SB: What do you think Buckley? Last summer Windham and Dan Ryan nearly killed each other, and were both placed on probation. Yeah, I don’t see this one being a technical demonstration.

BB: But why Sammy, why? Why would Eli, and Windham knowing what the 2001 match did to both competitors, one being Mark’s brother, the other Eli himself, agree to this match?

SB: Why ask why? Just enjoy the fact that it’s free for us to watch this: The possible destruction of two men that I’ve personally hated for a long time.

BB: Classy.

SB: Ain’t I. What do you want Buckley? A poem? Who can give meaning to half of what these idiots do? Not I, said the network star overdue for a beer. Hint. Hint. It’s personal. If not for Eli and Windham, than for Windham and Ivy. And knowing that Eli and Ivy are history’s all-time favorite platonic couple, it’s personal for Flair and Mark now too. They’ve spent time denying there’s any real motivation for this match, that a knock upside Mark’s head at PRIMETIME settled the score. Right, and Thomas is coming back to run this company some day. Look, Buckley, we can waste more broadcast time trying to dig for the deeper meaning in this, but what we have here is pretty simple, it’s two of the baddest SOBs to step foot in a wrestling ring, period. Not just the CSWA. It’s for legacy, and love.

BB: What have done with Sammy Benson?

SB: I’ve sent him to personally rid us of Manuel Juarez. Man alive, where does Merritt find these people?

(CUEUP: “Pretending” – HIM)

(CUTTO: Mark Windham, long black tights and boots, a sleeveless black shirt with white “The Ass Is Back” lettering, stepping onto the stage. The crowd pops for one of the company’s legends. A mixture of boos filter in, following the initial pop. Windham’s wearing a slight pony tail at the top of his head, the remaining strands of his dirty blonde hair fall shoulder length.)

”Love is a flame that can't be tamed
And though we are its willing prey, my darling
We are not the ones to blame.”

(Windham slowly makes his way down the ring, smirking.)

Trust is a word all lovers know
The glorious art of staining souls, my darling
We are not the ones to blame
The more we have the more we want
And the more it hurts our hearts, my baby
It always ends up in tears

(As he gets to the steps, Mark looks off a few fans in the front row who want to slap hands, spitting from the side of his mouth at them as he enters the ring.)

So keep on pretending
Our heaven is worth the waiting
Keep on pretending it's alright
So keep on pretending
It will be the end of our craving
Keep on pretending
It's alright

(Fans on their feet cheering. Here we go again.)

When doubts arise the game begins
The one we will never win, my baby
It always ends up in tears...

(Patrick Young checks Mark’s boots, and tights; one of his better perks.)

BB: With these two men in the ring, the resurrection of the CSWA could be over tonight.

SB: Don’t get my hopes up Buckley. Some of us had a low handicap working on the links before Merritt woke up from his long winter’s nap.

BB: Fans on the edge of their seats, what am I saying? Check that they’re standing! Hell, we will too.

(ON Buckley and Benson. Sammy and Bill start to stand, but Buckley quickly sits back down, leaving Sammy out in the cold.)

BB: Yeah, where does Chad find them?

SB: Damn you.

(CUEUP: “Mary Mary (Stigmatic Mix)” - Chumbawamba)

”hail mary full of grace the lord is with thee blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb jesus holy mary mother of god pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death amen.”

(Eli Flair, clad in the still- unfamiliar black canvas jacket, standing tall with his head down and his hair covering his face completely stalks out onto the rampway with Poison Ivy, complete with singapore cane in hand beside him.)

“No virgin me
For I have sinned
I sold my soul
For sex and gin
Go call a priest
All meek and mind
And tell him, "Mary
Is no more a child."”


(As the chorus kicks in, he flips his hair back and begins his steady march to the ring. Another mixed reaction from the crowd. It’s the CSWA, and Eli’s a homebody. To start anyway, most love him, some grudgingly.)

“ It's raining stones
It's raining bile
From the luxury
Of your denial
So I don't deny
I don't make do
I'll press alarms
Place bets on truth
I'm so up and down
And I love what's no allowed
I was lost, now I see:
And now I'm growing old disgracefully.”

(Flair never takes his eyes off Windham, who’s leaning into the ropes backfirst enjoying the moment. Ivy wishes Flair luck but doesn’t get in the ring. Eli navigates the stairs with ease, and goes through Young’s ritual as well.)

(Buckley was right. There’s a buzz in the air. Fans on their feet.)

BB: I’m sitting here thinking to myself, this one can’t be more brutal than ANN ’01, but over fifteen years I’ve constantly been proven wrong. Patrick Young calling Flair and Windham to the center of the ring, he’s got a mic with him.

SB: It’s dejuva all over again.

BB: Thanks Yogi.

PY: (on house mic) Okay boys. You signed the match, you know the rules: No pinfalls, no submission, to win Mark you have to make Eli say “I quit.”

ELI: (smirks) You ain’t winnin’ kiddo.

PY: Eli, to win, you must make Mark say, “I Quit.”

MARK: I am.

PY: (covers mic) Nobody try to be a hero, okay? Let’s put on a good show, and then all three of us walk out of here. Deal?

(Eli and Mark never remove their stares off the other.)

PY: (on mic) No time limit, by Merritt’s orders we’re here until one of you says the magic words. I will call for breaks if I deem a move illegal. That won’t change. Mic stays in my hand, you think your opponent wants to give look me in, and I’ll present the opportunity. Good luck gentleman.

BB: Young calls for the bell, as the Merritt Auditorium heats up! (Fans stomping the floor in anticipation) Windham/Eli Take Two is underway!

SB: Bar the door, Katie!

BB: Collar and elbow tie-up by these two giants of the business! Flair budges Windham back two feet, both men break the hold. An early show of strength by Windham and Flair.

SB: Not that I’m not getting goose bumps and all, but this isn’t a wrestling match Buckley it’s a brawl. One of these men has to quit.

(Flair and Windham lock up again.)

SB: I don’t see that happening through the basics of wrestling.

BB: Horns locked again, Windham arm drags Eli into the corner! Flair to his feet, an indifferent expression on his face. We’re here until there’s an end. These two guys could put on a wrestling exhibition for an hour, and it wouldn’t matter. Collar and elbow tie-up for a third time! Flair whips Windham to the mat but holds on to that left arm of Mark’s! Windham on his stomach, as Eli really torks that arm back, knee right over the elbow!

(CLOSE-UP of Windham’s face. Ring mics pick up him crying out in pain, cursing under his breath.)

SB: He broke Troy’s fingers, don’t think for a second Buckley Flair won’t hesitate to snap the loon’s entire arm!

BB: I have no doubts believe me. Eli pulling back on that arm, he nods to Young, Patrick’s going to ask Mark!

PY: Mark, do you want to give it up?

MW: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....He’s breaking my arm!

PY: Do you---

MW: Noooooo!

(Flair leaps up and drives a knee into Windham’s right elbow.)

MW: Ahhhhhh.......fu(censor)

BB: Eli working over the elbow, Sammy at what point does Mark have to give?

(Eli again drives a knee into Mark’s elbow.)

SB: I would have given three minutes ago. But hey...that’s just me.

BB: Eli knee back over Windham’s elbow, pulling back as Ivy looks on through the ropes. What must be going through her mind right now...

SB: If you hear a sickening thud, don’t tell me. What’s going through her mind?

(Windham hits the mat out of desperation.)

BB: Oh no.

(Windham works his way to his knees, Eli leans back into him to try and stop it.)

SB: She’s thinking...an skip it. They’ll just censor me.

BB: Windham sits out and with his legs reaches the ropes. Young calling for the break. IVY CANES WINDHAM’S LEFT KNEE!! (crowd erupts) Flair pulls Windham back to the center of the ring, and again wrenches Mark’s arm!

SB: Does it count if we say it for him?

BB: I think not, but Mark’s in inordinate amount of pain early on. Eli nods to Young again.

PY: Mark?

MW: Sh*t!

PY: I can’t accept that Windham. I need the three words.

(Windham to his knees again, Eli backing into Windham, knee on his elbow)

SB: Three words? I quit. That’s two Buckley

BB: I was more concerned over the dry humor. Windham trying to power up, screaming as he goes, Eli dropped his full weight on Mark’s left shoulder...I THINK IT SNAPPED! Windham’s lifeless on the mat, his left shoulder has bee dislocated, good grief it has to be! Eli, standing for a second over the fallen Windham, backs into the ropes, ELBOW DROP OVER THE SHOUDLER!

SB: What’s the quickest recorded “I Quit” in wrestling history?

BB: I don’t know, but Kerry Allen wherever he is, is loving this. Flair scoops up Windham, left arm pinned behind his back, body slam! (crowd buzzes over the punishment Mark’s taken so far.) A grueling start for the former World Champion.

SB: They’re both former World Champions nitwit. But, yes, I concur.

BB: As long as you ‘concur’. Flair oblivious to the crowd, brings Mark to his feet...Windham’s out Sammy, the man’s passed out from the pain, no question. Flair pins Mark’s left arm behind his back, stands behind up, BELLY-TO-BACK SUPLEX!

SB: I’ve never seen Mark Windham dominated to this degree. In a sense it’s his own fault, he played it cute and tried to wrestle with Flair early on, making light of the situation. Eli caught him a second later. In this sort of match...

(Eli sets Windham to his feet, hooks his arms.)

SB: You have to go in wailing.

BB: What’s Eli doing here....no.....DOUBLE CHICKEN WING! He’s got Mark suspended off the mat by a good two feet, dangling in the air, good grief the pressure on Windham’s shoulders at the moment.

SB: Eli’s a mean bastard, going after Mark’s left arm. That’s his geetar playing arm! He was booked for Nashville Star next weekend, but I tend to doubt he’ll make it now.

(Fans on their feet, sensing the end, flash bulbs go off as Mark lays helplessly in Eli’s grasp, crying out in pain.)

BB: Severe damage could already be done to that arm. What’s Windham waiting for?

SB: They’re a stupid lot, every last one of them! Even Troy, I hate to say. I love the man, if only for the genetic dumbness he’s overcome.

BB: Windham a notorious slow starter, but right now Sammy he’s at the point of it being impossible to get off any offense. This match is over. And I can’t believe it.

(Young again steps in. Shocked.)

PY: Hey Mark...please.

(Windham doesn’t stay anything. Just grimaces and tries to catch his breath.)

BB: Eli sets Windham down, no...fires him in the air, grabs his head and SLAMS HIM TO THE MAT, RIGHT ON THAT ARM!

(Eli walks over to the ropes, leans over and spits out onto the floor, giving Young time to kneel over Windham and ask.)

PY: Mark...

(No answer.)

SB: I think he’s crying Buckley.

BB: I refuse to believe that. (softly) I...I...refuse to believe that. (Eli shoots a quick look to Ivy.) Flair once more helping Windham to his feet, arms locked behind him, Double chicken wing again, lifts Mark up, Windham pushes off to get some air, twists, DDT!! DDT!

SB: He used that left arm!

BB: Listen to this place! Merritt Auditorium is rocking. Windham somehow, pulled a rabbit out the hat and stopped the bleeding.

(Windham to his knees, heavily favoring that left shoulder and arm.)

BB: Mark failing away on Eli’s back...almost out of desperation. He’s done and knows it. Sammy he can’t continue like this.

(Fans chant: “I quit!” “I quit!” “I quit!”)

SB: The humanoids have the right idea. And you know that pains me to say it.

(Windham eyes Young, almost resigned to what he has to do. Young walks over.)

MW: (motions Patrick in closer. Over the mic Windham pants, unable to speak until...) You’re a piece of sh*t Patrick.

(Huge pop.)

BB: Well that was nice.

SB: Classy. Have always thought so.

(The Lost Soul rolls out of the ring, barely staying on his feet.)

BB: Mark stumbling over to the fans in the first row..

(CLOSE-UP of Windham and the front row.)

Ringside mic:

“Kick his ass Mark yeah!”
“I love youuuuuuuu!”
“NADER! NADER!”

BB: Mark takes two steps toward, NO!!! OHMYGOSH. Windham just vaulted himself into the ring steps, left shoulder first!

SB: Snapped it back in place. That’s a man for you. I’ll give him that.

(Windham walks off, still favoring that shoulder...barely able to stay on his feet.)

BB: Sammy I think Mark’s leaving. He’s quitting.

SB: You can’t just walk off, you have to say the words.

BB: Obviously he’s incapable, he’s just getting the Sam Hill out of here. Now, face to face with Ivy! (fans cheer)

SB: Is it just me or does she have a great ass?

BB: Geez. She’s not letting Mark pass!

(Ivy draws back, but can’t unleash the cane. Windham just stares at her. If he could take back time.)

BB: The Lost Soul side-steps Ivy and is heading up the rampway, Ivy doesn’t want to...but (SFX: Crack!) she does! Cane shot to the back! Mark doesn’t flinch, he’s leaving, Sammy.

SB: Call this one a mulligan and do it again on the next PPV?

(Eli, outside the ring now, reaches under the apron and pulls out a chair. Holding it like a spear he runs at Windham, who’s halfway up the aisle.)

BB: Flair charging, and Mark doesn’t see him! Slide tackle, OHHHHHHH! (Crowd collectively gasps) Windham just got Eli at the last moment, slid to take out his legs and Flair shot about five feet forward and hit face first onto the chair.

SB: Might have been eye first, Ponyboy’s clutching his right eye.

(CLOSE-UP of Eli, squinting, holding his right eye. A small stream of blood trickles down.)

BB: Yes! Sammy you’re right, Flair’s right eye is seriously damaged. Windham had started off again, but now he returns. Grabs the chair, weakly with two arms, OVER ELI’S HEAD! You could hear that one all over Greensboro.

(Ivy watches on, concerned to say the least.)

BB: OVER FLAIR’S HEAD AGAIN; AGAIN; AGAIN (each shot getting progressively weaker).

(Windham drops the chair and stumbles back, nearly falling.)

BB: Mark holding Eli’s head up, THUMB TO THE EYE! That’s illegal!

SB: So is chasing a man twenty feet with a chair. It’s an “I Quit” match. You’re going to need to make better points than that one.

BB: Windham trying to shake off the injury to his left shoulder, but he has to have a deep separation. Sammy he can’t be continuing with the match.

SB: Why not? That’s what he’s paid to do.

(Mark sets Eli face first on the security railing, and drops his right elbow over the back of Flair’s head.)

BB: Side Russian leg sweep! Both men slow to get up. Flair immediately grabbing for that right eye, its bleeding Sammy, impaled by some degree by the chair.

SB: If it loses the eye, so much for the hope of Eli one day dressing better. Though, if someone has to dress him, fashion sense may be brought into the picture. Interesting.

BB: Windham clothesline, and Eli tumbles a few feet down the rampway! Mark’s not able to generate much offense Sammy. These aren't submission moves; it’s survival.

SB: But can Flair survive with one good eye?

BB: We may find out. Windham hooking Flair, with one good arm he lifts Eli high in the air! BRAINBUSTER! Flair’s neck caved in as it met the metal floor of the rampway.

SB: Windham’s broken necks before. Years ago it was a calling card. A broken neck to me would be worth saying “I Quit” for.

BB: Mark’s left arm is virtually useless though. Still he soldiers on, setting Eli up. Is this? Yes.....PILEDRIVER! Eli may be out. Three years ago we saw Mark’s brother’s career almost come to an end because of a broken neck, the majority of the damage done by Windham’s opponent tonight, Eli Flair!

SB: It’s a mad, mad world.

BB: What Windham wouldn’t give to be able to pin Eli right here and go home, but he’s gotta get the submission, the ‘Three words’ as Patrick Young called them.

(Windham hand grabbing a fistful of Eli’s hair, runs with Flair up the aisle, finally reaching the stage.)

BB: Windham sends Eli headfirst into the CSWAvision! And the video’s been lost!

(Fans start clapping.)

SB: Buckley I don’t see Ivy anywhere. She’s not at ringside.

BB: You’re right Sammy I don’t see her either, and maybe Windham’s gone to find her as he just slipped backstage. He’s left too.

(fans boo.)

(Eli sits up, hand over his eye, shaking his head trying to clear up.)

BB: We’ve lost Ivy, we’ve lost Windham...

SB: And Flair’s lost full eyesight. Back home that’s what we call a nightcap.

BB: Eli struggling to his feet, he was in total control, but a freak accident with the chair has turned this match around...I guess we still have a match.

SB: That’s why mothers always tell their children not to run with scissors. Dumb Eli.

BB: Eli looking around, he’s finally noticing he’s alone. What in the world!!?!

(CSWAvision video comes back on, and Eli turns to view it. Video is of Mark Windham standing atop of the stage art contraption, right first wrapped with a chain.)

(Fans explode)

BB: That’s Windham! (Eli turns up to see him) Mark FLYING OFF THE TOP OF THE STAGE ART, NAILS FLAIR! ELI SENT BACKWARDS, OVER THE EDGE!

(SFX: Boom!)

SB: PonyBoy took the ten-foot drop and just crashed through the thecswa.com webcast center! Grammy B a stroke of luck.

BB: You ain’t kiddin’ Sammy, that table broke an otherwise near fatal fall!

(CLOSE-UP of Eli laying on a broken table. Computer parts scattered everywhere, three men backed away, unsure what to do.)

BB: CSWA Online staff chatting with is that Hortense, and good grief has she lost a couple hundred pounds?

SB: (laughing) Looks that way. I didn’t think vacuums could suck that much out without exploding.

BB: That’s enough.

(Windham’s returned to the edge of the stage, ladder in tow.)

BB: Windham’s got a ladder, and slowly, still favoring that left arm, he’s climbing to the top. This is insane.

SB: Of course he is, he’s a Windham! I’ve told you repeatedly tonight, they don’t grow’em smart!

BB: Eli hunched over on his feet. Windham leaps off the top of the ladder, he’s measured Flair. Ohh!!!

(Eli turns just in time, catching Windham in mid-air with a keyboard. Keys fly everywhere as the keyboard is cracked over Windham’s head.)

SB: I didn’t want to say it, but I saw that coming.

BB: Eli’s dazed, his eye, heck...his whole face is a crimson mask.

SB: Not surprisingly either, the man’s forehead is in worse shape that Dusty Rhodes’.

BB: Eli brings Windham to his feet, pins his arm behind his back, here we go, BODYSLAM! Right back to work. The King of Extreme. These are eating this up, but Flair has not recognized them in any form tonight.

SB: He’s focused. And a mean bastard to boot.

(Crowd pops.)

BB: Ivy runs up to Eli, and against his desire bandages his right eye with tape, wrapping it around his head.

SB: She’s baaaaaaaaaaaaack.

BB: Flair taped up, the tape itself is already bloody. She tried. FLAIR WITH THE CANE cracks it over Mark’s head. Ah, this got brutal quick and started that way throughout.

(Eli sets up that ladder. Walks Windham to it, helps him a few steps up. Mark’s dead on the second step.)

SB: Since we did we start using stage props in matches?

BB: Sammy, there’s someone I want you to meet.

SB: Is she easy?

BB: Her name is “The Last Fifteen Years.” Where have you been? (sighs) Eli walking up the ladder, normally not high risk, but he’s stepping up and pulling Windham on the other side up with him!

SB: As Obi-Wan says, “I got a bad feeling about this.”

BB: The ladder is shaking heavily, but Ivy grabs it and recruits Hortense to hold the other side.

SB: I pity the poor Internet fans not getting her weight loss tips currently. “Well I, stopped feeding my face like a hog for eight hours a day.”

BB: Eli and Windham to the top of the ladder...Flair hooking Windham...I’ve got that same bad feeling Sammy, Ivy and Hortense holding the ladder, Flair lifts Windham up, POWERBOMB OFF THE LADDER!!

(Fans chant: “Eli! Eli!”)

(CLOSE-UP on Ivy who mouths, “Damnnnnn.”

BB: Flair showing no emotion as he coolly steps down. The Merritt Auditorium is on fire, and Eli couldn’t care less.

(CLOSE-UP on Windham, face down on the floor. Lost look in his eye, stick a fork in him; he’s done.)

BB: Eli what more can he do to his man.

(Eli walks Windham over to the nearest security railing, and lays him over the guardrail, as screaming fans back up two feet.)

SB: Nothing. But I can think of a few things I’d like to do to Ivy.

BB: Flair has the ladder in his hands, holding it like he did the chair! Learn from past mistakes! Eli charging, and rams the ladder right into the back of Mark’s left shoulder! Windham dropping to his knees in extraordinary pain.

SB: What if that arm has to come off after the match, old-school style? Could he live without it? If it were me, I could as long it wasn’t my drinking hand.

BB: You’d stop if limited to just one hand?

SB: Good point.

BB: Eli lays the ladder across the floor he positions Windham between his leg. Another powerbomb? Eli lifts Mark up, no! Windham countered, somehow! Mark back drop SENDS ELI OVER THE RAILING AND INTO THE FANS!

SB: Somebody’s girlfriend just got plastered! Ah, she was probably a loon anyway. Better off without her.

(Windham walks around briefly, shaking off the, well...entire match.)

BB: At different points in this match, Mark Windham has been an inch, a move away from the definite end. But he’s still standing, for how much longer I don’t know. Windham playing with the ladder now....props it against the railing at an angle.

SB: He’s made a ramp! Clever boy. Now, scamper off and make Smores.

(Mark backs up ten feet behind the ladder, eyes Hortense, does a double take and eyes her again.)

BB: I don’t know what he’s doing here...

SB: Ever realize our sport’s become the wrestling equivalent of the NBA’s slamdunk contest, everyone struggling to out do the other and come up with new ideas?

(Windham runs at the ladder, scales it in two strides, leaps off and catches Flair with a Tornado DDT, in the midst of delirious fans.)

BB: Good grief! Haven’t seen that before! Both men cracked up against some seats. Mark first to his feet, he’s got someone’s drink in hand and throws it at Eli.

SB: Ask him Patrick! And where in the world is Young?

BB: He’s been too terrified to get involved, but he’s on the scene now. Windham taking Flair’s tape job right off!

(Crowd cheers.)

BB: Is that a straw? The Living X-File jabbing at Eli Flair’s right eye with a plastic straw!

SB: At this point you just sorta find whatever you can, you know.

(Mark leads Eli through a maze of fans trying to get through to the rampway railing. As the two pass by a parting sea of shirts, fans mug for the camera and cheer madly.)

BB: Patrick? Sammy is Young trying to follow?

SB: He’s being mugged ten paces behind, seriously.

FAN: (having stolen Young’s mic) YO, ADRIAN, I DID IT!”

(SFX: Whack!)

(Ivy cracks the cane over the goof’s head, pulling Young and the mic out.)

(ON Windham and Eli, near the railing. Eli slaps Mark’s wrist away and kicks him in the gut.)

BB: Flair still in it, a knee planted firmly in Windham’s gut! Eli turns Mark around, lifts him up, STUN GUN OVER THE RAILING.

(Eli pushes a few fans out of his way.)

SB: I don’t think Windham can win this match, Buckley. Every wrestler says he’ll never quit, say the words, submit, whatever, but with Flair you just know he won’t. It’s a part of who he is. Where he was raised, the (censor) he’s been through in his life. As much as I hate to play the straight man and admit it, Eli Flair just cannot, and will not EVER say the words, “I Quit.” Windham had to know that coming in, and he has to know that now.

BB: Eli racks Mark’s left arm over the security railing. Truer words, never spoken. Mark got cocky in the opening and he paid for it heavily. Eli again racks Windham’s arm!

(Fans clap, getting behind both wrestlers. It’s the CSWA’s ANNIVERSARY. And it’s Eli Flair and Mark Windham. Think they really want to root against either man?)

BB: Eli wraps Windham’s left arm through the railing, and pulls up on it! Very similar to how he wore down Troy three years ago! Mark in serious trouble!

SB: Unlike at Rage In The Cage, submissions can happen anywhere. And there’s bad ref on the spot.

(Young puts the mic in Windham’s face.)

BB: Eli yanking pack on that arm, right foot stepping on Mark’s back for added leverage. Patrick’s asking Mark. Please Windham please!

PY: Mark...do you..

MW: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

(Eli pulls back harder.)

PY: Mark! (another fan reaches for the mic; Young slaps him over the head with it.)

MW: Yes..........I.....(Fans gasp)

BB: Did he just?

SB: Noo! He didn’t say the third word. (to himself) Yes, I quit. Okay so Young was right it’s three words. Windham didn’t say it fully.

MW: Yes.......I...........(crowd roars)

(Eli rears back even more)

BB: He still did not say it all!

PY: I need’em all Mark.

MW: Yes....I...................sh*t.

(Windham whips his leg around and kicks Flair’s left knee. Eli buckles and releases the hold.)

SB: Yes he whats?

BB: Windham snatches the mic from Young’s hand and jabs it in Eli’s eye!

MW: (on mic; right in Eli’s face) NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOO! (Windham laughs maniacally)

(Tosses the mic back to Young.)

BB: So close, but he was just toying with Eli.

SB: No, he came close there. This is the last gasp, surely.

BB: Windham again piledriving Eli to the hard, cold floor! A damaged eye, the severity of which we don’t know at this point, and quite possibly a broken neck! Windham’s been devastating with that piledriver for fifteen years.

(Mark feeds Eli’s legs through the railing, then leaps over.)

BB: What’s he doing? Windham climbs on top of the railing, he’s got a hold of Eli’s feet! Mark pulling up on them, sits down, A BOSTON CRAB!

SB: Some of these morons are bracing Windham’s back as he leans behind for more leverage!

BB: Eli in pain! Young to ask him!

PY: Eli....do you...

ELI: (Censor)

BB: Good call there guys. Flair not giving it up, Mark sitting on that Boston Crab!

PY: Eli?

ELI: Are you F****** thick Young? Ahhhh.

BB: Mark’s face tells the story, he’s just not able to apply enough pressure, not with that shoulder, and he has to let go!

(Windham outside the railing, pulls Eli’s legs further out, and hooks in the SHARPSHOOTER (for Chad: As taught by Hornet.)

SB: After nearly twenty-five minutes, Windham’s finally smartened up. Submissive moves. That’s the ballgame.

BB: Submissive moves?

SB: Sorry Freudian slip.

BB: Yikes.

PY: Flair?

ELI: You’re a stupid man. (Flair moans in pain.) A stupid little man. (Bleep) no!

BB: Windham sitting down on the Sharpshooter, Eli reaching behind him, stretching with his right arm for the top of the railing. He’s got it!

SB: He’s doing Yoga now?

BB: With his left, the former Claimstaker reaches and finds the top of the railing! He’s bridged himself up, Windham still going to town with the Sharpshooter, Eli left hand near blindly reaching behind him, he’s got Windham by the hair! Mark sits up a bit, Flair both hands on Windham’s head, NECKBREAKER! HOW IN THE WORLD?

SB: Modified anyway, Flair snapping Mark’s neck back, more than enough to break the hold.

BB: Eli tries to get to his feet but his legs buckle, and he grabs his right eye. It bears repeating but the man can’t see out of that eye. There’s no way.

SB: It also bears repeating that Ivy’s got a great ass.

BB: Mark throws Eli over his right shoulder and carries him to the ring. A smart move by both men, too much trouble for Mark and Eli where they were.

(Windham charging the apron with Eli over his right shoulder, dives for and rams Eli into the ring apron.)

BB: Windham fires Flair into the ring steps, working over the Eli’s back! Setting up him for the Torture Rack?

SB: But is he fit enough to pull it off?

BB: That’s the question! Windham laying Flair over the ring steps, and he’s got a chair in hand, Mark swings but Eli moves out of the way and Windham hits the steps! Flair kicks at Mark’s legs and Windham goes down!

SB: A potential match save for Flair. In theory, if you believe he’s capable of quitting.

BB: Eli sets Mark up, hooks the tights, lifts him up, vertical suplex position! Eli bounces Mark off the ropes behind him...

(Eli lets Mark fall forward, as he does Flair twists Tornado DDT’ing Windham to the floor.)

BB: Good Grief! (Moans from the crowd)

SB: Here comes Young the dedicated solider. Nice to see the second generation buffoon in place to do his job.

BB: Sammy Carl’s recovering from another stroke have some compassion, please. Flair, Windham’s left arm in his hand charges toward the security railing, leaps over and baseball slides outside, racking Windham’s shoulder over that railing!

SB: Please the man has a miniature stroke once a month. It’s like passing gas for him.

BB: Marks hasn’t moved off that railing, the damage done to that left arm is immeasurable.

(Ivy tosses the cane to Eli who whacks Mark’s shoulder with it a handful of times drawing gasps from the Auditorium.)

BB: Patrick Young ref’ing this one quite liberally as Eli steps back over the railing.

SB: Didn’t he promise to stop illegal moves? Or was I just high?

BB: Yes and yes. No question Sammy in a normal match Windham could be pinned right now, but he’s taken so much punishment and not quit, what does Eli have to do?

(Eli positions Mark. Chokeslam on the railing.)

SB: What does either man have to do? Buckley this is a moot contest, neither man will give it up. We could be here all week without a winner.

BB: All night at least. That railing no friend of Mark’s, I can promise you that. Flair just dropping the Lost Soul over it without a second thought. Eli now, moving the ring steps back a few feet and pushing Mark in it’s place.

(Eli pushes the steps into Mark, backs up about seven feet and vaults himself into the steps which jar into Windham’s shoulder.)

(Crowd reacts as if they just witnessed an accident.)

BB: Get in there Patrick and ask him for crying out loud. Flair rolling into the ring with Mark.

SB: This is what happens with Eddy Love’s not in the CSWA. There’s no one with the sense enough to throw in the towel.

BB: Flair catching his breath, as Mark doing all he can to pull himself up. Gamely leaning on the ropes to reach his feet. He’s up! Flair with a short left jab. Another! Another! A final blow that levels Windham to one knee!

SB: Suddenly he’s De La Hoya. Nice. The man’s waited ten years into his career to show some variety.

BB: Eli off the opposite ropes coming hard at Mark, CLOTHESLINE over the ropes! No Windham’s hanging on! His feet haven’t touched the floor! With two hands struggling to flip himself back in the ring!

SB: But why? Somebody tell that idiot to do what he did nearly forty minutes ago. Hit the floor running.

BB: Windham one hand almost, flips back in, but Eli’s there! Eli caught Mark as he made the turn, arms around Mark’s waist, REVERSE SPINEBUSTER!

(Mark gently rolls around on the mat in pain.)

BB: Eli to his feet, leg drop! Why not? If you have to beat a man to the point he’s going to quit, use the entire arsenal. That right eye is shut, Flair can’t see a thing. This match should have been stopped a long time ago.

SB: I concur, but I think you need to convince one of the two monsters in the ring.

(Eli picks Mark up, shoots him across the ropes, Mark stumbles barely coming off the ropes, Eli shoulderblock attempt, Windham ducks, Eli Stun Guns himself.)

BB: That neck of Flair’s snapped back again and he’s down! Mark turns, one hand over Flair’s chest, Sammy he’s trying to pin!

SB: Force of habit. Stupid is Stupid does. However you wanna say it.

BB: An act of desperation from Windham, does he have anything left to win this match to make Flair say those three words, “Yes, I quit.” A mountain to climb for sure. Maybe the biggest in this career.

SB: I don’t know about that, there have always been rumors he and Hortense hooked up years ago.

BB: Stop. Eli to his feet, hunched over, Windham off the ropes, SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Back to back shots on Flair’s tender if not broken neck!

SB: If it were broken he wouldn’t be moving around in the ring. Great match, but let’s not oversell at this juncture.

BB: How bout this? I’m sure it hurts like hell.

SB: Better.

(Windham has Eli to his feet, both men tired, Mark resting his head on Eli’s shoulder briefly before backing him into the turnbuckle.)

BB: Mark stepping to that middle rope, and fires a right hand into Flair’s eye!

SB: Closed fist, closed fist!

BB: Left arm, he can’t even move it Sammy, but Windham firing away, trying to get that damn eye to pop out! Flair grabs him around the legs, ATOMIC DROP!

SB: After all of this the man now has swollen nuts. Of it all, that’s the biggest shame.

BB: Windham shakes it off quickly and charges, Flair BIG BOOT TO WINDHAM’S SHOULDER as he falls back to the floor! Mark and Eli on their backs!

SB: Throw in a ten-count rule and let’s just be done with it.

BB: It’s Flair first by sheer will. He’s been in some wars over his career, this one taking its toll as well. Flair backs Mark into a corner, and now he’s on the middle ropes! Eli firing away at Windham’s head!

SB: One good turn deserves another. Make your own Ivy joke here fans.

BB: Windham grabs Eli, ATOMIC DROP, NO ELI BLOCKS...KICK TO MARK’S GUT! Flair grabs Windham’s arm quickly spins him around and shoots him shoulder first into the nearest turnbuckle!!

(Mark cries out in pain, barely stays on his feet, as Flair waits to catch him with a side-slam.)

BB: THUMB TO THE EYE! Windham jelly legged, off the ropes LARIAT!! BUT THAT WAS HIS LEFT ARM!

SB: He has to react fast Buckley to stop Flair’s onslaught. Just doing what he can to hopefully catch Eli right and knock him out, something to give him time to take advantage.

BB: I know, you see him squirming on the mat holding that arm, that one did more damage to him! These two CSWA greats stagger to their feet, from out of nowhere THE WINDHAM CLAW!

(Mark’s not able to use that left arm to back the move up, one handed he’s holding in the claw as more blood on Eli’s forehead gushes out.)

SB: Red is Eli’s color, never noticed it until now.

BB: Eli Flair tries to break that hold, but can’t. It’s locked in, and he’s in trouble! Windham motioning for Patrick Young...

PY: Eli??

ELI: No!

(Mark kicks at Flair’s left knee, dropping him to the floor.)

BB: This is Windham’s chance, he has to hold this move and just wait for Eli Flair, even if takes hours! Every man has his breaking point, is Windham close to finding Flair’s?

SB: If he’s not, I feel sorry for him. I do anyway, but yeah let’s focus on the action.

BB: Mark working the claw in, he has to be praying for a submission.

SB: I’ve seen lesser men’s brains sucked right out in this move. Namely Bill Parsons.

BB: NUT SHOT! A SECOND and the Claw’s broken, Eli quickly to his feet, he falls back into the ropes, light headed, he had to be! But he’s righted the ship, HARD RIGHT HANDS from those taped fists.

SB: How does Young check the boots but not the fists. There could be quarters or worse in there!

BB: Hook to Windham’s gut, and the 4-time US champion is doubled over. (Fans jump out of their seats) Hand over Mark’s throat, Chokeslam? No! An elbow across Flair’s head! Save of the match by Mark. Another and Eli’s shaken!

SB: Flair should have ducked under Mark’s left side, but he chose the right, Mark’s one good arm, and caught a couple flush. That’s what a manager is for, Ivy not doing her job there and reminding Flair.

BB: Windham scoops Flair, SIT-OUT PILEDRIVER! (Fans cheer both men.)

SB: The Living Psycho favoring that arm again Buckley. Scooping Flair up extracted a steep price.

(Fans on their feet. The end has to be near. Right?)

BB: Mark with all he can muster helping Eli to his feet, Sammy he’s not going for....

SB: What else has he got?

(Mark positions Eli for a Torture Rack. Lifts him on his shoulders but he can’t hold the move, and he crashes to the floor, sending Eli into the ropes.)

BB: No way he’s getting Flair up in the Torture Rack. I know Sammy it’s his move, but that’s not happening. Period. GOOD GRIEF! Windham tries again...he’s... (Flair up but Mark is stumbling...stumbling....steady.) GOT IT!

(Auditorium erupts.)

SB: As I said...

BB: Windham has Flair in his Finisher the Torture Rack! That back’s been weakened all match, so has the neck. It’s now or never for the Lost Soul! And he knows it!

SB: What else has he got?

(Young moves in to ask Flair.)

(Mark screams out in pain and tilts to one side.)

BB: Eli frees himself! Drops behind Mark, forearm to the small of the back! He hooks the arms, DOUBLE CHICKEN WING!! DOUBLE CHICKEN WING!

(Mark cries out, shaking his head. He’s cooked. Is he smart enough to know it?)

BB: Windham was all but finished by this move earlier in the match, this is it. For the love of all that’s good and pure, this has to be it.

SB: You thought that when the bell wrong. By the way, this is 2 out of 3 falls right?

BB: What? Stop. Windham helpless. Sammy he can’t get out of this, THAT SHOULDER SNAPPED OUT OF PLACE AGAIN!

SB: Excuse me while I puke.

BB: Somebody tell Windham to quit.

PY: Mark?

ELI: Come on man...I’m not letting go.

PY: Mark please...

BB: He’s not responding. The pain...what he must be feeling right now, I can’t imagine.

SB: I can, but I haven’t been that good in bed in ten years.

BB: Shut up Sammy! Mark Windham simply will not give, like his brother before three years ago nearly to the day!

SB: And you saw how well that turned out. (singing) “If he only had a brain.”

BB: Eli leaning back for more leverage. Fans begging for the end, Mark...he’s not even motioning towards Young. Get Merritt out here to throw in the towel.

(CLOSE-UP On Mark. His face is red, eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. He can’t feel his left arm. Is it time?)

(Mark’s eyes get heavier and heavier.)

BB: Windham’s passed out for a second time.

(Windham’s eyes shut. He sleeps.)