(FADEIN: The Intruders locker room. THE PROFESSIONALS and GUNS are sitting on their benches, talking quietly with the Unified Tag Titles and Mayfield's newly claimed Presidential Championship belt lying by their feet. RUDY SEITZER comes hustling into the scene when all of a sudden the mammoth BANDIT steps out from the doorway, blocking not only SEITZER'S path into the locker room, but the camera's view of The Intruders. All of a sudden, the door closes behind them as the younger woman seen during the 8 man tag match saddles up cozy-like next to BANDIT...)

SEITZER: What are you doing?

BANDIT: I'm a PROFESSIONAL bodyguard, Seitzer - what the (BLEEP!) does it look like I'm doing. No interviews, bosses' orders.

SEITZER: (annoyed, but accepting of the policy) Do you have any comment regarding Troy Windham and your actions tonight...

BANDIT: You see this woman, Seitzer?

SEITZER: Of course I do.

BANDIT: This is Catherine WINDHAM, Rudy. (SEITZER's jaw drops!) That's right, the sister of Mark and Troy Windham. You want my comments? I'll give you my comments. No faster than a dirt cheap whore that I used to let in the boys' locker room, TROY WINDHAM FIRED ME. I tried to get jobs everywhere and nobody would let me in 'cause not only did I have the stigma of working with Troy all over me, but he called everyplace telling them NOT to hire me. That's what a friend he was, Rudy. Always looking out for his friends and family, right? WRONG. (BANDIT's eyes slit in anger) I lived in the streets, Troy. I became a drunk. Until I was saved by this woman right beside me. Another one of the long list of casualties left by the Windham family, where others have to pick up the pieces YOU broke. Your aunt, the one who took care of you and Mark for your childhood is on WELFARE, never having once seen a cent from her famous nephews...

SEITZER: This is slander!

BANDIT: Is it? How about their own sister FORCED to strip to pay her own way through college, not because she's dumb, but even with the scholarships she earned through academics it wasn't enough. Yeah, y'know how much she's seen from them? ZILCH. And then she found me. Your sister found me, Troy. She told me her story. We shared some tears, we shared some laughs and then we knew...that YOU had to be taught a lesson. You left me for dead, Windham. You left your family for the wasteland. I'm the hired OUTLAW of the Intruders. I don't work for anything, but VENGEANCE. There is nothing to be forgiven, anymore Troy. Those you've turned your backs on are going to see to it that you AND your brother pay for the UNFORGIVEN sins against us.

(BANDIT opens the locker room door with CATHERINE under his arm and returns to the locker room, EMPHATICALLY slamming the door!)

SEITZER: (turns to the camera) Send that to the news, NOW! We've got MORE Windhams! Back to you, Bill and Sammy.

(CUE UP: “Control” – Puddle of Mudd)

BB: Some people have said that this man is the greatest pure wrestler alive today… but will that be enough?

SB: No.

BB: Evan Aho has certainly run the gamut this past year, a surprising victory over ‘Iceman’ Steve Radder to win the World Title, and an equally surprising defeat at the hands of ‘Living Legend’ Mark Windham to lose the belt.

SB: And he’s still got no personality!

BB: His personality, Sammy… is irrelevant to his skill.

SB: Let’s hope so.

BB: Evan Aho’s shoulder was giving him trouble for a long, long time… he’d better hope he’s a hundred percent against a man like Eli Flair.

SB: But Eli’s got a handicap, that rag on his arm.

BB: Are you just about done with her? Because I can guarantee you Poison Ivy isn’t done with you yet.

SB: Long as she promises not to talk, I’m fine with that. Let the Angel girl sing… she needs to get out of the basement every so often, however.

(CUE UP: “You Know You’re Right” – Nirvana)

BB: It’s been four years since Eli Flair first became the CSWA World Champion, back at Anniversary 1999! He won the IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS tournament that night… but I have a feeling he’ll have to wrestle at least that hard to take the nod tonight!

SB: He’s only one man, Buckley… Aho’s not some bald Jewish guy with a silly catchphrase.

BB: Neither man has a catchphrase, Sammy… neither man does much in the way of sports entertainment – Eli Flair is a brawler, the King of Extreme, through and through, and Evan Aho, as we said, may very well be the greatest pure wrestler on the planet. Neither man have earned their reputations by going down easily.

SB: Unlike Ivy, who—

BB: Sammy?

SB: Hmmm?

BB: She’s headed this way.

SB: …Mommy…

BB: Patrick Young calls both men to the middle of the ring to lay down some ground rules… Hello, Ivy!

(Poison Ivy sits down next to Buckley)

IVY: I heard that, Sammy.

BB: Ivy, he’s only just back. Don’t kill him yet.

IVY: Wouldn’t dream of it.

SB: That’s right.

IVY: I’ll let Eli do it after I tell him what you said about his wife.

SB: You wouldn’t dare!

IVY: HEY ELI!

SB: I’ll be good!

BB: Will you two knock it off?

IVY: Any time, Bill… I have a job to do tonite, anyways.

(She leaves the table as the bell rings)

BB: Eli and Aho circle… what’s the strategy here gonna be, Sammy?

SB: Win?

BB: Cute. There’s the lockup, and Eli with a go- behind! Waistlock takedown! Aho with the reversal… and Eli backs him into the corner! Elbow to the head! And a monkey flip out of the corner! Eli with a reverse chinlock! He’s trying to mat wrestle with EVAN AHO?

SB: What a maroon.

BB: Aho with a hand on Eli’s grip… and he works his way to his knees… ROLL THROUGH! He’s on the ropes! Young with the count, and the hold is broken! Eli backs off, and Aho is up on his feet again! They lock up, and a knee to Eli’s gut! Forearm to the face! Aho shoved him into the corner and followed up with a clothesline!

SB: Role reversal?

BB: Looks that way, as Aho hooks Eli’s head and tornado DDT’s him to the mat! Aho has come into this match looking to throw Eli off balance with a brawler’s mentality, and Eli’s offense in this match so far has been very technical!

SB: But who studied whom better?

BB: Aho with the cover, ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Eli rolls through the ropes to the outside to take a breather, and Aho… follows him?!? Shove into the ringpost! He just sent Eli back into the ring after cracking his head on the post! Aho climbs back into the ring… and a whip into the ropes! Eli ducked a clothesline… SPEAR! Eli just countered it with a spear, and Aho hit the mat hard! The cover, ONE… TWO… KICKOUT!

SB: When’s he gonna bleed?

BB: Eli coughs twice and backs away, but he’s on Aho before the Wrestler can get back up! Forearm to the back of the head! And another! Whipped Aho into the ropes… AHO WITH A SUNSET FLIP! Eli’s about to lose his balance… NO! He reached down to grab Aho by the throat—AHO WITH A YANK OF THE HAIR AND A SMALL PACKAGE! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT!

SB: Switchin’ up has been forgotten, huh?

BB: Stick with your strengths, Sammy… in your case, have another drink.

SB: Oh, waiter!

BB: Me and my big mouth. Aho hooks him, and a full nelson slam! Another cover, ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Aho has Eli set up, REVERSAL! Eli with a shoulder to the gut! He picked Evan up… SPINEBUSTER SLAM! Eli backed up into the ropes, catching his breath after the furious onslaught from Evan Aho! But that spinebuster might’ve been the turnaround point in this match!

SB: Turn around, Ivy, and let’s see what’cha momma gave ya!

BB: I never asked for this…

SB: Sometimes we’re just lucky like that.

BB: As Aho pulls himself up, Eli hooks him from behind—NO! Aho just walked up the corner and twisted his body around, sending Eli Flair through the ropes to the floor! That’s why Aho is the best wrestler in the world, because he has such an awareness of himself and his opponent, and he always seems to know exactly what has to be done in the given circumstance!

SB: Such as now, when he’s got his back to his opponent?

BB: Semantics, Sammy! Eli is in a heap on the floor, Aho is in a semi- heap in the ring, and Young’s started the count!

SB: Oh no he’s not!

BB: Aho with a baseball slide! Eli’s knocked into Pedro and Eduardo at the Spanish announce table! Aho slides out of the ring to retrieve his opponent… ELI WITH A MONITOR TO HIS HEAD! The more recent former Champion is staggered! Young is yelling at both men to get back into the ring! Eli with a hand around his throat… KICK TO THE LOWER ABDOMEN! AHO WITH A DDT ON THE FLOOR!

SB: Sick!

BB: He missed the floor mats by mere inches, folks, and Eli Flair has been split as well! Both men are down, but Aho shows signs of life! The fans are counting along with the referee… and we’re at four!

SB: All this and it’s gonna end in a countout? We’ve been robbed!

BB: Five! Aho has a hand on the apron!

SB: At least Ivy isn’t sticking her nose into it.

BB: Six! Aho’s back in the ring… and Eli Flair is getting up?

SB: NO!

BB: Seven! He’s up to his knees! An unsteady step towards the ring and he just fell again! But he’s just gotta climb now, just under the ropes!

SB: Too many heroics in this match… where’s my refill?

BB: Eight! One hand on the apron… one more, Eli!

SB: I give up.

BB: Nine! He’s on his feet, and he’s holding onto the bottom rope! Aho can’t believe it either!

SB: Is it almost over?

BB: Eli just pulled himself back into the ring, and Aho with a boot to the head! And another! Rollover and the cover, ONE… TWO… THREE! NO! Foot on the ropes!

SB: Sigh. Massive sigh.

BB: Aho hooked the other leg this time, ONE… TWO… THREE! NO! Eli’s free arm grabbed the bottom rope!

SB: C’mon, hook the arms, the legs, the tights… just finish the bum!

BB: He might’ve heard you, Sammy, as Aho drags Eli’s body to the middle of the ring! Hooks the leg, ONE… TWO… THREE! NO! NO! KICKOUT! KICKOUT! Eli kicked out, and he’s actually propped himself up on one elbow! Aho shakes his head, clearing out the cobwebs, and he picks Eli up – the lights are on but nobody’s home, Sammy, and Aho just needs to capitalize!

SB: If he’d done that an hour and a half ago, the match would be over!

BB: Aho with a whip into the ropes… ELI’S KNEE JUST GAVE OUT ON HIM! He collapsed into Aho and both men went—NO! Eli didn’t collapse, he’s rolled through his fall with a grip on one of Aho’s ankles! ANKLELOCK SUBMISSION! AHO LUNGED FOR THE ROPES!

SB: Just when you thought it was over…

BB: The hold is broken, and both men are up! Right hand to the face by Eli! Aho fires back! Eli fires back! Aho with a wide—ELI DUCKED IT! He’s got the neck hooked!

SB: I can’t believe it!

BB: FALLEN ONE! FALLEN ONE! The cover, ONE! TWO! THREE!

SB: DAMNITT!

BB: HE GOT HIM!

SB: That’s gotta be the end of the world.

BB: Ivy slides into the ring to help him up – Eli Flair is still down! But he’s just become the number one contender for the CSWA World Championship! Evan Aho put up quite a fight, you can bet these two will face off again somewhere down the road. But will it be for the CSWA World Title?

SB: Way to foreshadow, Buckley.

BB: And who will be the CSWA World Champion after tonight? We’re rapidly approaching Mark Windham’s Spontaneous Title Defense against two men with the chance of a lifetime!