(Chad Merritt walks onto the rampway, microphone in hand, just as the participants from the last match are taking the low road to go behind the curtain.)

Merritt: Interesting possibilities indeed, Bill. Plett, hold on just a second there, kid.

(Plett turns and seems reluctant to stop as his teammates continue to head to the back.)

Merritt: I promise you, you're going to want to hear this.

(As Merritt takes the steps into the ring, Mike Plett walks back to ringside. His annoyance has been partially replaced with bemusement. He takes ring announcer Rhubarb Jones' chair and sits down and the base of the rampway and the ring.)

Merritt: Folks, I have some bad news for you. I hope that all of you, as CSWA fans, know that this company has never played the typical 'bait-and-switch' games that others in our sport have. We tell you what we're going to deliver, and we deliver, along with a few surprises.

I hate to tell you that tonight, that's not going to happen. (The crowd starts to murmur.) Hornet is not in the building tonight. (The boos begin.)

I know, I know. Trust me, I’m just as disappointed as you are. But here’s the deal I’ll make with you: if you’re not satisfied with what I offer as a replacement, you can walk out after this announcement and get a refund. The same goes for those of you watching on pay-per-view; if you call your cable operator in the next thirty minutes, we’ll give you a refund. (The murmuring is getting louder.)

I’m going to be completely straight with you. I don’t know where Hornet is. We’ve had people looking for him for hours. We know that he left the hotel safely, but has never entered the building here tonight. Another promise I’ll make to you is this: when we find out what happened, you’ll get a straight answer. And you’ll probably get it straight from Hornet’s mouth… if he’s still with this company after I find out what’s going on.

But enough of the negative, let’s get to the good news. I’ve seen some of the old-timers around here complain after my decision to have Mark Windham and Hornet as your Main Event tonight. Rather than seeing them try to work their way back to the top, they’ve decided to gripe about it. But there have been a couple of people that have gone a different way. (He turns towards the rampway.) Mike Plett is one of those people. (The fans begin to boo.)

Kid, you know, a lot of these people don't like you. And they've got good reason. But I'm going to show that I'm a fair man. I'm going to give you the chance to tell them all to 'shove it.' You just lost the chance to get into the battle royal--to throw a dozen other guys over the top rope and then wait for a shot at the title. Well, guess what, it's time for to pass 'Go' and collect your two hundred bucks. Go get some rest, 'cause tonight, you're facing Mark Windham for the CSWA World Heavyweight Championship. And personally, after the stunts I’ve seen you pull over the last few months, I hope he kicks your (bleep). (The crowd cheers as Plett stands and throws a ‘so what’ glance at Merritt before starting to head for the back.)

So there you have it folks, Mark Windham defending against Mike Plett, a former Presidential Champ in his own right. But as much as that would be enough to headline any PRIMETIME or SHOWTIME, and even any pay-per-view, I still don’t feel like it’s enough.

(Plett stops at the top of the rampway and turns back to listen to the rest of Merritt’s announcement.)

There’s another man that deserves a shot. And while I don’t usually reward people for bad behavior, the simple fact is, he’s right. He should’ve been more high profile tonight. After the run he’s had over the last year, he should get another shot. (The crowd reaction starts to swell as more and more put the pieces together.)

So tonight, challenging for the World Title along with Mike Plett, assuming he accepts the offer, will be: “Triple X” Sean Stevens. (The crowd goes nuts as the camera zooms in on two Triple X fans high-fiving and chest bumping. The scene then cuts to Mike Plett, who’s visibly fuming, then turns and walks through the entryway.)

And I can pretty much guarantee you that he’ll show, especially since he’s still under contract, temper tantrum or not. So Mike, Sean, it’s time to put up or shut up. You want to be the new “young guns” of the CSWA, then show us what you’ve got. Take “The Living Legend” and show him that he’s a step slow, that his fifteen year quest for the title ends tonight when he passes the torch to the next World Champion.

So there you have it, folks. Windham, Plett and Triple X for the CSWA World Title. Not bad for short notice, huh? We’ve already had one great match tonight, and now I’ll turn you back over to Buckley and Benson as we get ready for the next elimination tag match of the night. And this one might just be my favorite. (The crowd gives a mixed reaction at Merritt climbs out of the ring.)

BB: Chad Merritt with a huge announcement. I can’t believe that…

SB: Bugbrain’s not in the building? Hey, I’m all for getting rid of Hornet myself, but putting Mike Plett in the Main Event? You’ve already got one freak in there as the champ, why throw in another?

(CUE UP: “INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!”)

BB: I’m still trying to figure out what this matchup is all about, Sammy. Why would Merritt put the Intruders on opposite teams? Why would Merritt put all the titles on the line?

SB: Why ask why? Just get me another beer. I can see the Mad Merritt’s plan here, think about it. You take the Intruders and put ‘em on opposite teams, there’s conflict. Either they won’t get along with the rest of their team, or they’ll get into it with each other. That’s just good strategy. But I think you need to take a look at why one team is destined to lose.

BB: How so?

SB: Miles and Mayfield? They’ll work together. Deacon and Stanley? They’ll work together. Whether or not they’ll work WITH each other is immaterial. But the other team?

(CUE UP: “God Save the Queen”)

BB: I think I see your point, and it’s one I hadn’t thought of.

SB: That’s why I’m here, Buckley… catch all your thought droppings.

BB: …

SB: Never mind. But anyone out there who thinks GUNS, Troy Windham, and Tom Adler can work together has been drinkin’ too much of Grandma’s cough medicine and sharing too little of it with ol’ Sammy. Just sucks for Southern that he’s gonna get caught in the middle of it all.

(CUE UP: “Ain’t Goin’ Down” – Garth Brooks)

BB: I agree, Sammy – and this is the first of two title defenses for Southern tonight, to boot! The Intruders and Lawrence Stanley are in the ring already, and here comes Shane Southern! Listen to the ovation for this man – he’s definitely a big part of the CSWA’s future, Sammy!

SB: If he survives tonight… maybe.

(CUE UP: “Destiny” – Petra)

BB: He’ll survive, just like Deacon has done!

SB: Mute Freak.

BB: Hardly mute anymore, Sammy… but he’s certainly a survivor! His physical condition might’ve lost a quarter of a step, if that, but I would still pick Deacon to defeat just about anyone in the CSWA today, Sammy!

SB: Why, oh why has my Eddy forsaken me?

(CUE UP: “Song 2” – Blur)

SB: And Troy! What’s Troy doing trying to play to these idiots?

BB: I don’t think it has a thing to do with the fans, Sammy… the history between GUNS and Troy is long and storied… and you can bet you’ll find these men on opposite sides of the fence in every case.

(CUE UP: “Our House” – Madness)

SB: But they’re on the same team tonight, Buckley, along
with another Troy fan.

BB: Where is he?

SB: Hmmm…

BB: The music has stopped, and Rhubarb has announced Adler’s name again, but the Presidential Champion has not come through the curtain! Is he even here, Sammy?

SB: Can’t say I’ve seen him… what’s the call here?

BB: It’s up to Juarez, but I’d assume this is treated like a count-out. You can see there, Troy and Southern are conferencing… I guess they’re going to try and take it three- on- four!

SB: You mean three on two on two, don’t you? Like the Intruders have nothing better to do than team with a bunch of losers.

BB: We’re finally ready to get going here, and it looks like Shane Southern starting off against Deacon! They lock up, and Big D sends Southern into the corner! These fans are cheering for the Evidence, Sammy!

SB: Evidence? I’d like to see some evidence of intelligence. Like we’ll find any in DC.

BB: They lock up again, and a knee to the gut by Deacon! And again! Scoop and a slam! Deacon backs off to allow the United States Champion to get to his feet, and the fans applaud this show of sportsmanship.

SB: Boooo!

BB: Fans, I said – not drunks.

SB: Touchy, touchy.

BB: Southern to his feet, and he locks up with Deacon again! Deacon with a choke lift into the corner, and a forearm to the chest! Another! He’s really been taking it to the US Champ here tonight—BLIND TAG BY MILES! He just slapped Deacon on the back of the head, and he shoves the former World Champion out of the way! Closed fists to Southern’s face! Deacon just pulled Miles off him! We’ve got a staredown between these two teammates!

SB: Do I have to keep reminding you that they’re not teammates?

BB: Stop it, Sammy!

SB: Why?

BB: … Southern has gotten himself out of the corner, and he tags in Troy! Troy’s got no love for Craig Miles, you can bet! And look at GUNS… he looks bored!

SB: It’s a boring match.

BB: You never learn, do you? Troy tackles Miles from behind, and Deacon leaves the ring! Troy with a reverse chinlock!

SB: So Deacon will save his opponent but not his teammate? Some hero.

BB: I thought they weren’t teammates.

SB: You’re askin’ for it, Buckley.

BB: Troy’s really got that chinlock wrenched in! And he’s
got Miles JUUUUST out of range for the ropes!

SB: Where there’s a PRO, there’s a way!

BB: Miles finally grabbed the ropes! Manny with the count, ONE, TWO, THREE, FO—Troy let up, but he delivers a kick to Miles’ back. Scoop, and a suplex dropped him outta his boots! Troy has Miles by the hair, and he pulls him over to his home corner – TAG to Southern! He’s got Miles prone—GUNS JUST KICKED SOUTHERN IN HIS BAD KNEE! Southern hobbles a bit, and you can see Troy yelling at the Strongest Arms in the World!

SB: Only a Windham would be dumb enough to yell at his arms.

BB: In any case, Southern with a forearm and elbow to Miles’ chest, and a snapmare takes the Unified Tag Team Champion down! Troy exits the ring and he and GUNS are glaring at each other! Southern sends Miles into the ropes… clothesline! The cover, ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Miles rolled out of the way, and tagged in Eddie Mayfield! Lawrence Stanley with a blind tag on Mayfield! They’re arguing!

SB: That’s not fair!

BB: Shane Southern and Lawrence Stanley lock up, and look at Mayfield! He wanted a piece of the US Champ!

SB: Stanley is so unprofessional!

BB: Stanley with a whip into the ropes, and a powerslam on the US Champion! Southern is up quickly but he’s definitely feeling the effects on his knee!

(A commotion starts in the crowd)

SB: What is that?

BB: Something’s happening in the stands, where’s Gethard and his security team?

SB: Doing what they do best, maybe? Staying out of the way?

BB: Southern with the reversal on Stanley, and he backdrops the former US Champion! I’m surprised his knee held up there! Scoop, and the other knee to Stanley’s midsection! And a uranage put the English Gent down! The cover, ONE… TWO… KICKOUT!

SB: He should just give up… he lost his Melons, he’s heartbroken.

BB: Teri Melton is well in Stanley’s past, Sammy, you know—LOOK OUT!

SB: HOME RUN!

BB: THE <> EXCHANGE IS HERE! ADLER, STORM, WRIGHT, AND BISHOP JUST CAME THROUGH THE CROWD, AND LEVELED THE PROFESSIONALS WITH CHAIRS!

SB: What’re ya doing, you mute freak! Go help your partners!

BB: Tom Adler and company have beaten down the Professionals, and Troy Windham has held GUNS back from helping his stablemates! Tom Adler, what do you think you’re doing? This is YOUR match!

SB: I don’t think he cares, Buckley.

BB: Manny has regained control of the match—

SB: Has he?

BB: —but we’re essentially down to three- on- two, as the Professionals have been beaten down on the outside of the ring! Shane Southern and Lawrence Stanley have both by and large ignored the beating, as they’re continuing the match! Tom Adler! What are you doing?

SB: What did he just say?

BB: Adler and company are leaving the ringside area, and he shouted something like “If the Intruders can name a proxy, so can we!” What does that mean?

SB: Well, it looks to me like Eric Wright has taken position on the ring apron, so we’ve got a full team with GUNS! He needs to file a lawsuit against Merritt for working conditions! Then again, I haven’t filed one yet, so…

BB: I’m sorry to cut you off, Sammy, but I’ve just received a notice from Vice- President Russo, in charge—RUSSO?

SB: I’m almost afraid to ask.

BB: … Wherein he states that if the Exchange wants to substitute the Presidential Champion in this match with Eric Wright, that Wright is now the man who will defend the belt for his team! Eric Wright is now, legally, the new Presidential Champion!

SB: Look at GUNS. He’d probably prefer having one less partner than a smartass journalist who can’t wrestle.

BB: Pot, kettle, black, Sammy?

SB: I never held a championship belt, Buckley… there’s a difference.

BB: The United States Champion with the continued advantage over the former champ, and I’m being told Rudy Seitzer has caught up with Tom Adler! Rudy?

(CUTTO: Backstage, where Rudy Seitzer is trying to catch up to the <>X)

RS: Tom! What was that about?

Adler: Ya know, ever since this whole invasion thing got started around here, I've had to sit and listen to everybody run their trap about how Tom Adler can't be trusted. Well, CSWA, I want you all to remember what just happened out there.

Everybody KNEW that Southern and I weren't going to be able to get along out there tonight. The <> X-Change just sacrificed the Presidential Title to take out the Intruders so that we didn't have to. A belt I spent a YEAR building.
Well, Southern, I just did you the biggest favor of your life. You can return the favor by making sure you keep that US Title around your waist for a little bit longer!

(Seitzer looks around for a moment as Adler stalks off)
RS: Sammy, Bill… back to you!

(CUTTO: The ring, where Eric Wright has taken his place on the apron.)

BB: I can’t believe that, Sammy! This is a disgrace!

SB: But it’s smart strategy, Buckley. Adler’s got the US Championship to worry about later tonight, he can’t deal with Merritt’s little games.

BB: Assuming, of course, that Southern makes it out of this match with the belt.

SB: …

BB: Stanley with a sudden shoulder to the chest! And another! He’s fighting back, and a whip to the far corner! The English Gent took advantage of the break and reached for the tag to Deacon – and GUNS just slapped Southern on the back! We’ve got two former World Heavyweight Champions in there! They lock up… and nobody moves! I’ve never seen anyone match power with Deacon so completely!

SB: He’s not the "Strongest Arms in the World" for nothing, Buckley!

BB: Another lockup, and Deacon lifts GUNS up in the air! That’s some strength, Sammy! He takes a running start and crushes GUNS in the corner! A knee to the midsection! And another! He whips him across to the other side… MILES JUST PULLED STANLEY OFF THE RING APRON!

SB: They’re not Professionals because they take a beating, Buckley, they’re Professionals because they can survive it!

BB: Mayfield grabs hold of one of Deacon’s arms, and Miles gets the other one! GUNS with a cross body, and Deacon is crushed in the corner—! MANNY CALLS FOR A TAG?

SB: That’s not fair!

BB: Manny Juarez has just ordered Eddie Mayfield into the ring! The Intruders are going to have to go at it! These fans are cheering for this like crazy!

SB: They’ve got no taste.

BB: GUNS and Mayfield circle each other, and they lock up! Mayfield… is leveraging GUNS backwards into the corner? How is he—GUNS WITH AN ELBOW TO WRIGHT! And Manny is calling it a tag?!?

SB: What a moron.

BB: GUNS just dragged his partner through the ropes… GUNSSHOT! He whips him across the ring, and Mayfield with a flying clothesline! The cover, ONE… TWO… THREE! Mayfield has just become the CSWA Presidential Champion!

SB: And it’s down to four on three!

BB: It was never not four on three, Sammy!

SB: A useless body is still a body!

BB: Hence, you have a job here.

SB: Yeah, really—HEY!

BB: Troy Windham has climbed into the ring – you can bet he’s their biggest target right now. DEACON WITH A SLAP TO MAYFIELD’S HEAD! We’ve barely seen a half dozen legitimate tags in this match so far!

SB: Everyone’s so ANGRY!

BB: Troy and Deacon lock up, and Deac sends the Boy Troy into the corner! A clothesline – Troy ducked under it! Forearm to the back, and a headlock – Troy climbs the corner with the headlock clamped on… BULLDOG! He’s up like a shot, and Troy hits the ropes again… Legdrop across the back of the head! There’s the cover, ONE… TWO… KICKOUT by Deacon!

SB: Where’s the President?

BB: This is gonna get real old, real quick.

SB: Nope!

BB: Troy has Deacon set up… and a kick to the midsection! Deacon is doubled over! Troy off the ropes, and a scissors kick to the former Champ!

SB: Never mind the fact that they’re both former Champs, huh?

BB: Deacon rolls out of the way as Troy takes a second, but he’s on the seven footer again in a hurry! He’s got Deacon hooked by the waist… REVERSAL! Deacon with a release belly-to-back suplex! He just HURLED Troy across the ring! Deacon off the ropes… and a shoulderblock just waffled Troy into the ropes! Deacon with a hand around his neck… and a choke toss across the ring! Troy reaching for the tag… and he pulled away from GUNS! GUNS looks angry at that, but Troy with the tag to Shane Southern, and the United States champion is back in the ring against the former World Champ!

SB: What did I just say?

BB: Southern runs at Deacon, there's a duck-down, go-behind! Hooked the waist, and Deac with an elbow to the head! And another! Turn and a clothesline! Deacon tags in Lawrence Stanley!

SB: Miles nearly leapt for Deacon’s hand there! He wants Southern! He wants that belt!

BB: Stanley with a quick cover, ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Is it just me, or did Miles look like he was about to jump in there?

SB: He hates the hick.

BB: The hick—SOUTHERN—was about to get pinned!

SB: He hates the hick and the limey.

BB: The limey—Stop it, Sammy!

SB: What? WHAT?

BB: Southern blocks a forearm, and fires one of his own! And another! Off the ropes—STANLEY WITH A FIST TO THE STOMACH! POWERBOMB!

SB: He just bounced!

BB: Stanley grabs the US Champion, sets him up… PILEDRIVER! The cover, ONE… TWO… THR—KICKOUT! Stanley picks Southern up again, whips him into the ropes—BLIND TAG BY TROY! Stanley with a spinebuster, but Shane Southern is no longer the legal man! Troy leans back and slingshots himself over the ropes! Flying clothesline to the English Gent! Stanley hit the mat, face- first, hard!

SB: C’mon, GUNS! Kill someone! Miles!

BB: Troy with Stanley… SLACKNIFE! He covers, ONE… TWO… THREE! We’re even at three men apiece!

SB: Not really. It’s one on two on two on one.

BB: Right. Three on three now, as Craig Miles climbs into the ring against Troy Windham! Troy with a forearm to the face, and Miles fires back! And another! Miles with a headbutt! Whipped into the corner… HEY! GUNS has Troy by the hair!

SB: They’re teammates, it’s not illegal!

BB: Miles with a running clothesline! Troy has nowhere to go! Kick to the gut! And finally, Manny is over, getting GUNS off his partner! But the damage has been done, I think! Miles with another cross- corner whip, and Mayfield hooks his arms! Another clothesline! Miles hooks his head, and sits on the top turnbuckle… Deacon just slapped him! TORNADO DDT! But Deacon is the legal man now!

SB: That’s not fair!

BB: Manny asks Miles to leave the ring, and he shoots Southern the finger! Deacon with a scoop, and he slams Mr. CSWA down, hard! What’s that commotion? Who’s coming to ringside?

SB: Don’t fall for that one again!

BB: I think it’s Eli Flair, Sammy… he’s finally gonna take care of those comments you made about his wife before.

SB: That’s… no!

BB: Bandit! Bandit is headed to ringside! What’s he doing here?

SB: He’s wearing a “TROY2K” Shirt! He’s here to cheat!

BB: He's Troy Windham's former bodyguard! Troy with a reversal on the irish whip – but Deacon held fast and sent him back into the corner! Bandit takes a seat at ringside, he and GUNS are glaring at each other!

SB: GUNS! Pay attention!

BB: Deacon with another whip, and a blind tag by Shane Southern! We’ve seen a lot of those tonight, Sammy! Deacon saw it, though, and he ignores Troy as he slides under his legs! Southern with a sudden dive at the knees, and Deacon goes down! He saw it coming but couldn’t get both legs out of the way!

SB: That’s what Melons said—

BB: Don’t even, Sammy! Southern has Deacon set up… POWERBOMB ON THE SEVEN FOOT TALL DEACON! The cover, ONE… TWO… THR—KICKOUT!

SB: I’m bored. Where’s Eddy?

BB: Southern whips Deacon into the ropes… DEACON WITH THE REVERSAL! And a chokeslam on the US Champion! Listen to the crowd!

SB: “Deacon Drools.”

BB: Will you behave? Deacon has Southern set up… we’re about to see an Altar Call! New US Champion! NO!

SB: NO! Wait… YES! Wait…

BB: Southern countered with a small package! ONE! TWO! THREE! Deacon is eliminated!

SB: I can’t believe it!

BB: Miles in the ring immediately after the bell, and he’s stomping away on Southern’s bad knee! Who is that in the crowd?

SB: Some crazy woman. Probably a Southern. Or a Windham. They’re all insane.

BB: Miles picks Southern’s leg up by the foot and drops him, knee first! The cover, ONE… TWO… THREE! NO! Kickout!

SB: Just give up, Southern!

BB: Miles with a setup… and a snap suplex! Who is that woman? She’s yelling at Troy Windham, Troy is yelling back! What did he call her?

SB: 'Auntie Windham' did he call her?

BB: …No, Sammy.

SB: She just called him her nephew!

BB: I’ll be damned. Miles has a full nelson locked in… SOUTHERN FLIPS HIM OVER HIS SHOULDER! MILES’ FOOT SLAMMED INTO MANNY JUAREZ! We’ve got a referee down!

SB: There goes the neighborhood.

BB: Mayfield has hit the ring! They’re both beating down on the US Champion! TROY MAKES A DIVE AT MILES! GUNS GRABS HIM! There’s no love lost between Troy and GUNS, Sammy!
SB: That crazy Windham woman just hopped the railing! Bandit’s stopping her! Ah—no she’s not! She just shoved past him!

BB: Now who’s that? Another woman just climbed out of the crowd, and she’s holding the older woman back? GUNS with a Bionic Kneelift on Troy! All three Intruders are beating down on the US Champion! Troy over by the ropes, and he’s talking to this woman! Why are they there? What are they doing? Manny’s finally stirring, and Bandit is trying to pull these two women away from the ring! I think I just heard Troy call her Catherine!

SB: Isn’t that Gethard’s job? Where is he?

BB: That woman – Catherine – just sprayed something in Troy’s eyes! He’s been blinded! Bandit pulled her away from the ring! Manny finally takes order, and he sends GUNS, Shane, and Mayfield out of the ring!

SB: Wasn’t Southern the legal man?

BB: Does it matter right now? Miles sees Troy helpless, and a powerslam to the Boy Troy! He hooks the leg, ONE… TWO… THREE! Foot on the ropes! NO!

SB: BANDIT JUST KNOCKED HIS FOOT OFF THE ROPES! Shane Southern looks completely confused by this! Could just be his hick background.

BB: Bandit and that woman just kissed! She ripped his shirt
off, he’s got an INTRUDERS shirt on underneath! And finally, FINALLY, Gethard and the security team have hit ringside!

SB: So, Manny screwed up and Gethard was too late to stop the interference. Business as usual.

BB: Juarez checking on Troy’s eyes as Miles taunts Southern from across the ring! It’s GUNS and Miles legal, I assume, though you know Miles wants Shane! He’s checking on Troy right now – what is going on with Bandit and that woman? We’ll try to get a word as soon as we can!

SB: I quit, this match is too hard to figure out.

BB: Troy has gotten to his feet, and these fans are cheering for the former Champion! Look at his eyes, look how inflamed they are, Sammy.

SB: So he can’t see. Big deal.

BB: TROY WITH A SUPERKICK! He just caught GUNS square in the jaw! GUNS goes down! And Southern helps Troy out of the ring! What’s gonna happen here?

SB: Miles… with the cover?

BB: ONE! TWO! THREE! Craig Miles just pinned GUNS! He didn’t look like he really wanted to—

SB: But now it’s just the Professionals and Shane Southern! Just the way they wanted it!

BB: Mayfield has left the ring, and he grabs Southern from behind and sent him back in! Both Professionals are laying the beatdown! Manny is trying to get one of them out of the ring, but it’s too much for him to handle!

SB: You insult the Intruders, you pay the price! Simple as that!

BB: Manny counting Mayfield down, but the new Presidential Champion keeps laying the boots to Shane Southern! He sets Southern up on his shoulders, and Miles climbs the corner! CROSS BODYBLOCK! JUAREZ CALLS FOR THE BELL!

SB: NO!

BB: EDDIE MAYFIELD HAS BEEN DISQUALIFIED!

SB: NO!

BB: All the tension in this match, all the bending of the rules, it finally took Juarez to his limit! And it’s one on one now! But Miles has the definite advantage here! He covers, ONE… TWO… THREE! Kickout!

SB: He needs to give it up! Or Mayfield needs to regulate!

BB: Miles sends Southern into the ropes, Mayfield tripped him up, the US Champ hit the mat hard! Another cover, ONE… TWO… THR—KICKOUT!

SB: They need to beat the hick!

BB: Another whip into the ropes… Southern reverses! Mayfield just tossed Miles the Presidential Title belt! SOUTHERN WITH A FIST INTO THE BELT INTO MILES’ FACE!

SB: If this was the Asylum, that’d be called a ‘Fuc—“

BB: Sammy! Southern with the cover, and he’s got a handful of tights! ONE…

SB: That’s not fair!

BB: TWO!

SB: Eddie!

BB: THREE!

SB: DAMNITT!

BB: I can’t believe it, but SHANE SOUTHERN has managed to pull this one off!

SB: He cheated!

BB: Pot, kettle, black, Sammy! But he’s paying for it now, as the Professionals have gotten back on him!

SB: You really love that stupid phrase, don't you? Match is over, sadly. Doesn’t matter what happens.

BB: Mayfield holds Southern up… and Miles lights a cigarette! Kick to the stomach, and a DDT! All with the cigarette in his mouth! Miles shoves Juarez down, and he’s out again! What’s Mayfield doing?

SB: CLIPPERS!

BB: No!

SB: YES!

BB: Mayfield with those clippers… I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! HE JUST CUT OFF SHANE SOUTHERN’S PONYTAIL!

SB: Well they need something to commemorate the match!

BB: Here comes DEACON back to the ring to give a hand! And GUNS hot on his heels! The seven footer is jumped by Eddie Mayfield as soon as he gets into the ring, with GUNS right behind! Miles still beating down on Southern!

SB: WHERE DID THAT LOSER COME FROM?

BB: RYP FANDANGO JUST FLEW OUTTA NOWHERE WITH A CHAIR! He just bent it over Craig Miles’ head! And the chair to Mayfield’s skull, too! It looks like the tide’s turning!

SB: Security is back, all too late again! Separating these guys, though… it’s not very fun. AH! See? That’s right, give the belts back to the Professionals!

BB: Well, it looks like Ryp Fandango came on down to even the odds, but the fact remains that Eddie Mayfield is the new Presidential Champion, the Professionals are still the Unified Tag Team Champions, and Shane Southern is still the United States Champion! But looking at Deacon and Ryp Fandango helping Southern out of the ring… for how much longer?

SB: Too much longer.

BB: Fans, we're going to show you a video package giving you a first glimpse at our next pay-per-view, it's a celebration as only the CSWA can do it: CSWA 15!