CSWA CHAMPIONS

The former champs and the boys that ‘wrestle in the air, and fly without care’ entered the match against the team formerly known as the Disco Express.  Boogie Smallz started the match against the outsized Michael Hardy.  Hardy looked outmatched early, as Smallz caught him with a spinning heel kick and followed with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.  Smallz cut the ring in half early, trying to avoid the hot tag as he hammered Hardy with a gore buster.  Minutes later, Hardy caught Smallz with a dropkick and went for his corner, but Smallz recovered and caught him with a neckbreaker from behind.  Pulling Hardy toward the HHE corner, Smallz tagged in Inferno Ice.  As the tag went down, HHE’s supposed partners-in-crime, “Apocalypse” Gabriel Poe and Miso came down to ringside, presumably to watch.

Hip Hop Express began setting up for their “Overdose” tag finisher, but Simon Wilcox dashed in to make the save, catching Smallz in the back of the knees with a spear.  Wilcox refused to leave the ring at the ref’s command, leading to a pier six brawl in the middle of the ring.  Finally, Wilcox and Smallz bumped through the ropes to the outside, leaving Hardy and Ice toe-to-toe trading punches.  Hardy was able to take control when he whipped Ice into the ropes, catching him with a Frankenparsons.  The quick cover only netted a one-count, but Hardy followed up, pulling Ice towards the turnbuckle and hitting a tornado DDT.  The resulting two-count kept the match going.

On the outside, Smallz’ size gave him an advantage in the ongoing streetfight against Wilcox.  Inferno quickly rolled outside and got in the mixas well.  Wilcox quickly sought to eliminate the advantage, grabbing a drink from a fan at ringside and throwing it in Inferno Ice's face.  Ice reached into his pocket, presumably for a bandana, but ended up wiping his face with a pink g-string, which he quickly tossed aside once he realized his mistake.  Ice rolled back inside to go after Hardy and avoid the countout.  Curiously, Miso grabbed the g-string and tucked it away, somewhere, but only when Poe’s gaze was taken elsewhere.  Poe and Miso continued to stay out of the melee, although Poe chose opportune times to threaten interference, forcing Simply Stunning to keep their eyes looking on all sides.  Still on the outside, Smallz hit Wilcox with a gorebuster to the concrete, then stood over him, gloating.

Seeing this on the inside, Hardy seized the moment, baseball sliding across the ring into Smallz, knocking him neck-first into the fan barricade.  Wilcox quickly took over, hooking in a figure four leglock on the outside.  Inside, Hardy’s distraction gave Inferno Ice time to set up, and as Hardy turned around, he got nailed with a cradle piledriver and held down for the three-count.  Poe and Miso headed back up the rampway, apparently content with the win, while the Hip Hop Express celebrated in the ring.  Unfortunately for them, Wilcox and Hardy recovered on the outside, and hit the ring, with chairs in hand.  Boogie took the brunt of the first attack, the double chairshot opening his forehead and sending him to the mat.  Ice then got his licks, as the two continued to pound until a host of referees hit the ring.

After being pulled away, Simon Wilcox took the microphone on the rampway, calling out the tag team champions:  “Pros, look at this!  Look at the carnage!  Look at the pain!  This is what you have waiting for you… Enjoy the titles while you can, because Simply Stunning will have their revenge!”

Winners:  Hip Hop Express

(Inferno Ice is in the Hip Hop Express dressing room and is packing his bag. Miso walks into the room and looks angry.)

MISO: Are Gabriel and Boogie around?

INFERNO: Nah, they went outside to smoke and shoot the shizz. What's up with you?

MISO: What is up with me? I have not heard from you in a long time. I was starting to think that you were just using me. I left you a voice mail and I never hear back from you.

INFERNO: I've been busy…damn. You didn't get my two-way page? I pay all that money for the service…and don't any of my messages ever go through.

MISO: I have heard that one before.

INFERNO: Come on now, girl. You know I think about you all the time. It's just, I got things going on in my life. I got an ex-wife that is always trying to get a cut of my check, I knew I should have signed that pre-nup…but those are the breaks. My other baby's momma is hitting me up for child support and the CSWA hasn't been calling the Hip Hop Express for extra bookings, so money is sort of hard for me to come by…so I gotta hustle every now and then.

MISO: I like you a lot, Inferno, and when you do not call me back…it drives me crazy. (Inferno flashes her a smile and gives her a wink.) But you can be so adorable at times. Especially when you had these in your pocket tonight. (Miso holds up the panties that Inferno wiped his face with during his match.)

(Inferno comes closer to her and begins to move in for a kiss, when he hears Boogie and Poe on the other side of the dressing room door. He backs off of Miso and she quickly tosses the panties into Inferno's bag. Boogie opens the door and Poe follows him into the room.)

BOOGIE: Man…that was some killa' (BLEEP) dawg. You gotta get me in touch with your connections, 'Poc. Yo Inferno, you missed out on a bomb ass session we had goin' with Deacon and Evan Aho. Man…I didn't know those guys puffed out.

INFERNO: Really?

BOOGIE: (Laughing) Nah man…get real. (Laughs) I told you he would fall for it, Gabe. Ever since I smoked out with Shirley Hemphill from "What's Happening"…he believes me on whatever crazy thing I say. (Grins.) But really, we had a good celebration smoke. You should have been there.

INFERNO: I had to pack my bag. Miso kept me company for a few minutes.

POE:  Good, good I wonder where she went.  Hey Boogie, let's say we go and find the buffet table.  I've got the SERIOUS munchies!

BOOGIE:  Man you ain't NEVER lied!

(Poe and Smallz head out as Inferno and Miso look back at each other.  She makes sure that Inferno has her eye as she glances in the bag.)

MISO:  We'll be sure (Miso steps closer until she is standing right in front of Inferno) to continue this conversation (she then runs her hands across his cheek until she gets to his lips and then runs her finger across them) later …

(Miso then walks out and leaves Inferno alone in the room.)

INFERNO:  (begins to hurry packing) Man you ain't gotta tell me twice!

"The Strongest Arms In The World" carry the Greensboro Championship, a title GUNS publicly has no use for.  Dan Ryan, "The Ego Buster," has held World Titles, but has never before faced this former CSWA World Champion.  The war of words ended; the battle of strength and wits begun.

Of course, that flowery intro sounds good, but the reality was uglier.  Two huge egos, two men used to being champions, and used to getting what they want, one way or the other.  The two South Texans faced off in the middle of the ring, trying to stare each other down, despite the height difference.  Ryan struck first with a shortarm clothesline, staggering GUNS, but not putting him down.  GUNS fired back with a flying shoulderblock, catching Ryan mostly in the midsection, and sending both men into the ropes.  Ryan caught GUNS head under his arm and got turned around, then dropped the headlock and hoisted GUNS with a quick release belly-to-belly suplex.  GUNS hit his feet and dropped the big man with an amazing sidewalk slam.

GUNS and Ryan continued to trade blows, with Ryan using his height to absorb some of GUNS' larger moves.  GUNS centered in on Ryan's right shoulder, causing the announcers to comment and compare GUNS' strategy against Ryan with his stablemate Mayfield's against Aho just before FISH FUND.  For Ryan's part, he worked over GUNS' well-known right knee, trying to knock some of the 'bionic' out of it.  

About twelve minutes into the match, Ryan dodged a kneelift into the corner by GUNS, causing the former CSWA World Champ to catch his knee right on the turnbuckle.  Ryan capitalized with a leg whip, then a big legdrop right onto GUNS' knee.  GUNS tried to stand, but his leg completely folded underneath him.  Ryan began to go in after him, but referee Patrick Young tried to shield GUNS, who was screaming in pain and rolling on the mat in agony.  Young quickly called for the trainers, effectively ending the match.  As he called for the bell, Ryan moved him out of the way and took his boot to the injured knee of GUNS.

GUNS quickly caught the leg of Ryan, pulling him down to the mat, then attacked him with a foreign object he pulled from his tights.  It became obvious quickly that GUNS had jabbed Ryan in the throat with a fork, causing him to have trouble breathing.  GUNS stood, hit a Bionic kneelift, then continued to go after Ryan with the fork, this time to the right eye, busting Ryan open.  The trainers and referees quickly hit the ring, but were unable to get GUNS out of the ring.  Finally, security had to come in and gang up around GUNS to separate him while the trainers tried to tend to Ryan.

In a final jab, two "Oompa Loompas" came out from the back, celebrating GUNS' attack on Ryan.  It was a figurative jab at Ryan (following the literal one), responding to one of Ryan's promos against the San Antonio native.  GUNS raised the Oompa Loompas small arms, then leveled them, powerbombing one on the ramp, and throwing the other into the crowd before heading to the back.

Winner:  Dan Ryan (by TKO/stopped match)

This match was originally scheduled to be the World Champion versus the Presidential Champ.  With the outcome of the World Title match weeks before at FISH FUND, it was changed to a non-title match between two major contenders.  Adler came into the match with a subtle fire in his eyes, and had a definite game plan.  He started by working over Aho’s injured shoulder, but kept the former World Champ off guard, switching and focusing on the knee, then going back to the shoulder.  Aho stayed out of serious trouble on the mat, but was unable to mount any sort of offensive.  He continued to defend his shoulder against the Presidential Champion, once even rolling outside the ring to break the momentum, a huge form break for Aho. 

In the middle of the match, pseudo-journalist and columnist Eric Wright stepped down onto the rampway and began calling out, of all people, referee Manuel Juarez.  Juarez became distracted, causing him to miss a pinfall attempt by Aho.  Wright first told the entire fanbase about Juarez ’s incompetence, something they already knew as fans of CSWA history.  Adler confronted Juarez , forcing him to turn his attention back on the match.  But Wright refused to stop, going on to call Juarez ‘crooked,’ and claiming he had proof, proof that the two men wrestling in the ring might be interested in.  Juarez left the ring to try and confront Wright, leaving the match without an official.  Senior ref Ben Worthington quickly came out to officiate the match, while Patrick Young and Pee Wee Troutman held Juarez back from attacking Wright.  Wright continued to elaborate, claiming Juarez had been paid by someone or some group in the CSWA to fix matches, then went on to speculate that the GXWers or Intruders might be involved.  Both men in the ring took notice of that claim, but Adler used it to his advantage, schoolboying Aho and putting on the AdlerLock.  Aho tried to hold on, but the pressure on the upper body, especially the shoulder, was too great.  Aho tapped out, giving the Presidential Champ the victory.

Winner:  Tom Adler

(After the match, Evan Aho is called to CSWA owner Chad Merritt's makeshift office in the arena.)

MERRITT:  Evan, I know this isn't going to be easy for you, but... I'm putting you on the disabled list.

AHO: What?

MERRITT:  Look, your shoulder's a wreck.  You never should have stepped back in the ring so soon after FISH FUND.

(Evan starts to object, but Chad holds up a hand for silence and continues.)

MERRITT:  I want you to get an MRI and take some time off to get healed.  (Evan tried to object again.)  I'm not going to let you wrestle again until one of our doctors clears you.

AHO: You're not serious.

MERRITT: You can come to the shows, you can hang out backstage, but you will not lace up your boots.

AHO: Why the hell not? I wanna wrestle! Look, my shoulder's fine, and what's it to you anyway? You want me out there, you know I've got some drawing power.

MERRITT: That's exactly why I'm putting you on the shelf for now. Look, you're twenty-seven years old! I'm not going to let you wrestle through an injury and potentially end your career. You've got ten... maybe even twenty good years left in you with the condition you're in. But right now you're shortening your career every match you wrestle with that bum shoulder.   (Evan shakes his head in disgust.)

MERRITT: Evan, you know it! Don't think you're hiding anything with this tough guy facade. You're injured and you're getting worse.

(Aho sits in stony silence. Chad sighs and lowers his voice a bit. )

MERRITT: Look, I'm doing you a favor. You're going to rest, your shoulder will recover and then you'll be back wrestling. I won't take a dime from you, you're still on the payroll.

AHO: You think this is about money? Chad , I just want to wrestle! Hell, take me off the med plan, I don't give a rip!

MERRITT:  I'm not going through this with you again.  You’ll have to recuperate first and wrestle later.

(Evan gets up quickly and stalks out of the room. At the door he stops and turns back.)

AHO: If you can't give me a match I'll find one.

MERRITT: Not like that stunt you pulled in Tampa . Not in my ring.

AHO:  I didn't say your ring, Chad .

(As Evan turns to leave, Merritt throws in one final comment.)

MERRITT:  You've seen the 'nicer side' of me tonight, Evan.  Don't give me a reason to show you anything else.