Part Five

December 26, 2001

(CUE UP: " Kashmir " by Led Zepplin. CUT TO: The arena, which goes dark. Many of the fans start howling wolf-like as the Video wall screen shows a strobe-light effects shot of Mike Randalls in a desert, flames flickering, followed by non-stop shots of Randalls in the air-- no matter how bloodied he is, no matter how long the match is, you can see the intensity in Mike Randalls' eyes. Randalls walks down the aisle, his face painted up like a cross between Darth Maul/MUTA, staring at the ring and gripping his hands. The camera shows the fans going nuts-- with a few at ringside with their faces painted also.)

BB: This crowd is electric, folks... as the first of our three Hall of Fame competitors is coming out in what should be an absolute epic battle.

SB: It doesn't matter who is in the ring, Buckley. There is one man and one man only who stands in the pantheon of wrestling legends... and the only man who can make me stop doin' shots of Tequiza for more than five minutes... and that is Eddy Love.

BB: It's going to be interesting to see the next few minutes... usually ring introductions are nothing more than pomp and circumstance, but this is going to tell if Troy Windham and Eddy Love are on the same page. They've exchanged some barbs with each other over the past few weks.

SB: Trust me, Sammy, everything is fine. I was partying with them before the show and all is well at the Playboy Mansion . They're competitors and they both want to win, but they both also know that being a Playboy is something special. I'm glad to be a part of the team!

(CUE UP: "Let's Go" by The Cars. CUT TO: The arena. The Video wall screen has the big Playboy Bunny logo in gold, followed by a shot of Troy and Eddy doing The Fargo Strut, followed by clips of them in action. Troy and Eddy-- in color coordinated Playboy singlets-- strut out, leaping up and down and hollering. The crowd responds as two. Troy and Eddy mug for a picture from a hot teen at ringside as Ric Ocasek sings "WE LIKE THE NIGHTLIFE BABY!" Then Troy and Eddy stop and bum rush the ring as the music still plays.)

BB: TROY AND EDDY RUN INTO THE RING! RANDALLS IS SLUGGING AT TROY ! AND EDDY! AND THE PLAYBOYS ARE RETURNING WITH SHOTS OF THEIR OWN! AND THEY LOCK HANDS AND DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE RANDALLS WHO FALLS THROUGH THE ROPES TO THE FLOOR!

SB: I TOLD YA! I TOLD YA! THESE PLAYBOYS ARE INTENT ON ONE THING... DESTROYING RANDALLS!

BB: Now Troy and Eddy are in the ring and are motioning to each other... PLAYBOY STRUT! (The crowd hoots and hollers and Troy and Eddy both do The Fargo Strut.)

SB: WOO! These two got moves Fred Astaire can only DREAM of having.

BB: Wait-- wait! Troy is yelling at Eddy, saying Love was a little off-beat in the Strut! And Love is claiming the same about Troy ! (Both Troy and Eddy are doing versions of the Strut and pointing.) EDDY JUST SLAPPED TROY IN THE FACE! (Flashbulbs pop as Troy stares at Eddy indignantly.) AND TROY JUST SLAPPED EDDY!

SB: NO! NO! DON'T DO IT GUYS!

BB: But Randalls just slid into the ring and DOUBLE SPEARS BOTH OF THEM OUT OF THEIR BOOTS! And now Troy gets up and is met with a knifeedge chop for Randalls that knocks him to the mat! And the same happens to Love!

SB: Man, look at Randalls. He looks like a rabid dog tonight. He doesn't even look like a human being.

BB: Randalls has said that tonight's match is more than just a match for him... it's about the survival of his career. For months, he and The Playboys have been going at it. And tonight, he stands alone against Eddy Love and Troy Windham. Randalls is stomping away on Love, laying the boots to the man whose hair he cut only a few months ago! But Troy just bounced off the ropes and levelled Randalls with a forearm shiver that sends Randalls to the corner. Troy turns towards-- NO! EDDY GRABS TROY 'S TIGHTS AND ROLLS HIM UP! ONE... TWO... NO! TROY KICKED OUT!

SB: Ya gotta hand it to Eddy Love. He wants to show Randalls that he is his superior, which we ALL know he is, and he'll pin his best friend if he has to.

BB: Troy pounds on the mat in anger and locks up with Eddy-- TROY BACKSLIDES EDDY! ONE... TWO... NO! Both men are up and are staring HOLES through each other-- RANDALLS GRABS TROY FROM BEHIND AND BRIDGES BACK IN A GERMAN SUPLEX! AND NOW HE KIPS UP-- ENORMOUS CLOTHESLINE THAT TAKES DOWN THE HURRICANE WHO WAS CHARGING RANDALLS!

SB: Man... this guy took The Heartthrob's hair, now he's going to take Eddy's head off. Somebody should lock him up.

BB: Without any wasted motion, Randalls is stomping away on Love. Now he has Love hooked-- SNAP SUPLEX! RANDALLS HOLDS ON AND ROLLS OVER! WE'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE FROM THE WOLF! A SECOND ROLLING SNAP SUPLEX! AND RANDALLS AGAIN HOLDS ON! HE'S GOING FOR A THIRD-- NO! WINDHAM JUST CLIPPED RANDALLSES LEGS! LOVE FALLS ON TOP OF RANDALLS! ONE... TW--NO! Randalls EMPHATICALLY kicks Love off of him.

SB: Man, Randalls is even more insane than Mike Tyson.

BB: Randalls is getting up and spins-- WINDHAM LEAPS UP AND CATCHES HIM WITH A FRANKENSTEINER! AND HE CRADLES THE LEGS! ONE... TWO... EDDY LOVE HOOKS WINDHAM 'S HEAD AND DDT'S HIS FELLOW PLAYBOY!

SB: NO! That just jammed Troy 's neck. Troy keeps on putting off surgery because he's been busy acting in a new show on the UPN. Eddy should know that!

BB: I think he DOES know that, Sammy. And that's why he did just that. Troy is screaching like a banshee and rolls out of the ring. And now Randalls grabs and whips him in, no, Eddy reverses and short-arm's Randalls to the mat. Now Eddy hooks the legs--- GRAPEVINE STRETCH! I HAVEN'T SEEN ONE OF THOSE IN YEARS!

SB: Eddy is wrenching it in... the true master of bringing old moves back into the forefront of professional wrestling.

BB: Randalls is grimacing in pain... but now he is crawling towards the ropes and grabs the bottom rope, forcing Pee Wee Troutman to command Love to break the hold.

SB: Randalls was about to give up, also. He's such a quitter.

BB: Love isn't breaking the hold, and Troutman is counting up to five... AND OHNOOOOOOO! RANDALLS JUST KICKED EDDY LOVE BELOW THE BELT!

SB: And the entire female population of America felt that one!

BB: Love falls to the mat, and Randalls is slow getting to his feet, pulling himself up on the ropes. Randalls now up and he's now kicking Love in the small of the back, ruthlessly. Again with a measured kick. Randalls now picks Love up by what remains of his hair and he picks Love up-- NO! Eddy thumbs Randalls in the eye and whips the Wolf into the ropes-- NO! Randalls reverses and OHHHHHHHHHMAN! HE JUST BACKDROPPED EDDY LOVE OVER THE TOP ROPE ONTO TROY WINDHAM , WHO WAS JUST GETTING UP TO HIS FEET!

SB: NO! NO! THAT SHOULD BE A DISQUALIFICATION!

BB: Randalls is on the mat and he runs-- OHHHH AIR RANDALLS FLIES AGAIN! MIKE RANDALLS JUST LEAPT OVER THE TOP ROPE WITHOUT USING HIS HANDS AND CRASHED ONTO BOTH EDDY LOVE AND TROY WINDHAM ! ALL THREE GUYS ARE ON THE FLOOR IN PAIN! THIS CROWD CANNOT BELIEVE IT!

SB: And I can't believe it either! I had Eddy Love winning in under five minutes!

BB: All three guys are up... Troutman is making all three guys roll back into the ring now. And he's counting to ten to see if any of these guys can get up...

SB: It wouldn't surprise me if Troy and Randalls stayed down... but it would if Eddy did, because he's all heart!

BB: Eddy is now getting up, and so is Troy . Troy kicks Eddy in the stomach-- SLACKKNI-- NO! Eddy gets out of Troy Windham's finisher and whips Troy to the corner. But he doesn't follow and instead drops an elbow on Randalls, who was about to get up.

SB: Smart move. To win a match like this, you have to make sure the odd man out is out of the picture.

BB: Eddy looks over his shoulder and grabs Randalls by the boots-- HE CATAPULTS RANDALLS TOWARDS TROY WHO COMES OUT OF THE CORNER WITH A SPEAR! RANDALLS JUST GOT BROKEN IN TWO!

SB: What teamwork from the Playboys there... who says they aren't on the same page?

BB: Eddy is now staring at Randalls-- TROY HOOKS EDDY FROM BEHIND! HE HITS THE SLACKKNIFE REVERSE NECKBREAKER!!! EDDY IS OUT! TROY STARTS RAISING THE ROOF! HE JUST HIT HIS LETHAL FINISHER ON HIS PARTNER!

SB: NO! NO!

BB: Troy now turns towards Randalls-- WHO KICKS TROY IN THE STOMACH! AND HE HOISTS HIM! MICHINOKU DRIVER!!! TROY JUST GOT DROPPED ON HIS NECK! ALL THREE MEN ARE ON THE MAT!

SB: Randalls HAS to be on drugs. He was folded on the mat just a few seconds ago. How did he get up?

BB: Randalls now pulls Troy to the middle of the ring and hooks the leg... (the crowd pops, knowing what's coming next.) HE GRAPEVINES INTO THE DEVASTATOR! RANDALLS BRIDGES BACK AND CROSSFACE'S THE KING OF THE SLACKERS! AND TROY IS SCREAMING IN PAIN!

SB: NOOOOO!

BB: LOVE IS CLIMBING TO THE MIDDLE ROPE! HE LEAPS OFF! TROY IS TAPPING!  LOVE HITS RANDALLS WITH AN AXE HANDLE FROM THE ROPES TO BREAK THE HOLD!

SB: WHAT'S TROUTMAN DOING?

BB: TROUTMAN IS CALLING FOR THE BELL ! LOVE IS LOOKING AT HIM--- TROUTMAN RAISES RANDALLS HAND! RANDALLS MADE TROY TAP! TROY TAPPED BEFORE EDDY LOVE COULD BREAK THE HOLD!

SB: NO! NO! THAT'S NOT RIGHT! THIS IS A TRAVESTY!

BB: EDDY LOVE CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Randalls rolls out of the ring, walking back... And Eddy and Troy are yelling at each other... folks, we've gotta go!   We'll see you at ANNIVERSARY!

Thanks to all the matchwriters that helped out!

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