BB: The crowd is on its feet here in the Merritt Auditorium... and I can
barely hear myself think!
SB:
I can barely bear to hear you talk anymore tonight.
BB:
What?
SB:
Nothing!
BB:
Just one more match, Sammy. Can you keep it together for that long?
SB:
No promises, Buckley. Especially if THAT DAMN HORNET wins!
BB:
Well we're about to find out. Let's head down to Rhubarb Jones.
MAIN EVENT
for the CSWA World
Heavyweight Title
Evan Aho vs. Hornet |
RJ:
Ladies and gentlemen, this is your final MAIN EVENT of CSWA ANNIVERSARY
2001. You’ve already seen both
these men earlier this evening, but they’re back again to face off for the top
prize in the sport of professional wrestling.
(CUEUP:
“All Star” by Smashmouth) (Negative
reaction from most of the crowd.)
RJ:
Hailing from right here in
Greensboro
,
North Carolina
, tonight he began his third
reign as the CSWA’s United States Champion.
He is the former three-time Unified World Heavyweight Champion, and if he
can this one-fall, no time-limit match, he will become a FIVE-TIME CSWA World
Heavyweight Champion. THIS…….
IS….....HORNETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!
(Hornet
steps onto the rampway as the video wall continues to show his various moments
of triumph. He stops at the top of
the ramp, facepaint retouched in yellow and black, matching the full-length
black pants with yellow accents and yellow boots.
As he stops, the Auditorium is filled with fireworks erupting all around
him. Once the pyrotechnics are
done… Hornet walks through the smoke and down the aisleway to the ring.
He bounces against the ropes a few times, then climbs the corner and sits
on the turnbuckle, waiting.)
(CUEUP:
“Blood, Milk and Sky” by Rob Zombie) (Crowd erupts.)
RJ:
Hailing from
Seattle
,
Washington
, tonight he stands as high as
the Space Needle! This twenty-six
year old stands at the pinnacle of this sport as the CSWA World Heavyweight
Champion. He is….. EVAN
AHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
(Evan
walks out onto the platform to a huge reaction as the video wall recounts his
title win over Steve Radder. His
eyes are focused on the ring, rather than crowd, and he continues his walk to
the ring. Apparently this confused
this pyro guys, who set off a shower of sparks where he would have been
standing. Aho rolls into the ring
and begins shaking his limbs, apparently more than ready to get things
underway.) BB: Both
men are in the ring, Hornet sitting atop the turnbuckle while Aho tosses the
twenty pounds of gold to referee Ben Worthington. You've got to hand it to
Evan Aho, this is the first night he's defended the World Title, he's already
faced Kevin Powers, and now he's facing Hornet, and he looks just as focused as
he normally does. On the other hand, I can't tell how focused Hornet is,
he seems to be in his own little world, sitting on the turnbuckle. I don't
know if he's done more than glance at Aho yet. SB:
Maybe he's thinking about Hornet Jr. Or is that Junior Hornet?
(laughs) BB: Yeah,
funny Sammy. Referee Worthington motions for Hornet to come to the center
of the ring and prepare for the start of the match. Aho's eyes are focused
on the former champ, and it looks like Hornet's finally snapped out of his own
little delusion. SB:
Why bother snapping out of it after 13 years? BB:
Worthington calls for the bell, and this one's underway! Hornet gestures
for a test of strength, but Aho simply stands at the ready. Aho's not
dumb, he knows Hornet's got a height and weight advantage on him, just as Powers
did earlier. He's got to depend on his technicality and wits. SB:
He could be in trouble if he's depending on his wits. BB:
They've served him well so far. Hornet abandons the test of strength and
the two men circle each other. Collar-and-elbow tie-up, and Hornet quickly
tries to force Aho to his knees, but only gets an armbar. Standing switch
by Aho, and now he's got the armbar on Hornet. Hornet backs him into the
corner, and the referee calls for a break. Clean break by both men, but
Hornet quickly initiates another tie-up, now using that strength advantage to
headlock Aho. Aho gets his feet under him and tries to push Hornet off,
but can't. SB: Aho
better get Hornet on the mat and keep him down. BB:
Sammy, don't do that. SB:
What? BB: Provide
actual useful information... it distracts me. SB:
You're hilarious, Buckley. BB:
Aho tries again, and this time sends Hornet into ropes. Aho ducks a
clothesline. Back body drop by Aho as Hornet comes back across!
Hornet's flat on his back, and Aho quickly takes advantage, dropping a knee to
the midsection and following up with a reverse chinlock that keeps Hornet on the
mat. SB: Not for
long. BB: Hornet
quickly powers out and grabs hold of Aho's right leg! Aho quickly kicks
Hornet away before he can hook in the Scorpion Deathlock! It's amazing how
quickly Hornet can get that maneuver locked in...but Aho was ready! SB:
He oughta be, he's only got 13 years of tape to study. BB:
Even so, it's Hornet's signature move, and Aho avoids it early. Hornet's
on his feet, but Aho's quicker. SNAP SUPLEX by the World Champion, and he
follows up with a half-nelson into a... NO, Hornet switches out of the lock and
wraps Aho in a headlock. SB:
What do these guys think this is, 1984? BB:
It's a different style than we saw from Troy and Eli earlier tonight, Sammy, but
these two men are known for their technical mastery. SB:
I don't think the words 'technical mastery' have been uttered along with
Hornet's name in a few years. In fact, I don't remember ever hearing
"That DAMN Technical Master HORNET!" BB:
Not out of your mouth, at least. Hornet wrenches the headlock on Aho, but
the World Champ finally gets leverage and pushes Hornet into the ropes.
Aho ducks a clothesline as Hornet hits the other side....FLYING DROPKICK!
Aho goes down, and almost goes through the ropes. SB:
Eh, it's not as if Aho's head is his big weapon. BB:
Well we know it's not yours. Aho's up, but Hornet charges, and both men go
through the ropes and hit the floor hard! Aho is up quickly, and it looks
like he's headed straight for the apron. But Hornet is up behind him, and
he's got hold of Aho's boot. Aho kicks Hornet away, but apparently it's
not enough. SB:
Hornet's not gonna let him get away that quick. BB:
Hornet gets hold of his leg again, and yanks Aho unceremoniously onto the
floor. Aho just hit his head hard on the apron as he got pulled off.
It's been just over an hour or so since Powers was slamming Aho's head into the
table in front of us. SB:
And yet he won that match...so what makes Hornet think he's gonna win by doing
the same thing? BB:
Hornet pulls Aho to his feet and sends the young man into the steel ring
post. Aho's slumped on that post...but Hornet's not done. He takes
Aho's right arm and slams it around that post. He's working on the ribs...
he knows Aho's possible weak spots, and he's going after both of them.
Good grief...he wraps that arm around the post again before following with back
elbow right into the opened-up midsection. Aho's obviously in pain, Sammy,
he can hardly stand at the moment. SB:
I still can't figure out why Hornet's even in this match. Is Merritt
trying to give him the World Title? BB:
Hornet pulls Aho up and walks him away from the post. It looks like he's
going to roll...oh no... he's just setting him up again. Hornet pulls Aho
forward and sets him..... (SFX: huge clang as the ring steps are
moved) Good grief! Hornet sent Aho down with a leg sweep that
dropped him face-first on the steps. Hornet rolls back inside the ring,
and sits himself on the top turnbuckle, waiting for the World Champion. SB:
Aho's busted wide open, Buckley. He oughta take a trip right back up the
aisleway... he'd still keep the title. BB:
That's not the kind of champion Evan Aho is, Sammy; otherwise he'd have YOU
managing him. SB:
Darn straight. BB:
Hornet is still sitting on the turnbuckle inside the ring while he waits for Aho
to recover. Referee Ben Worthington has begun a ten-count on Aho... if he
doesn't get back in Hornet wins, but Aho retains the title. When is the
last time we had a ten-count determine a CSWA World Championship match, Sammy? SB:
Not since I can remember... of course, it may have happened during my 'drunk'
phase. BB: Either
way, it doesn't look like Hornet is going to risk it. He's headed outside
just as Aho starts to try and get to his feet. Hornet quickly grabs Aho
and rolls him back inside the ring. SB:
Ewww, Hornet just got Aho's blood down the length of his arm. BB:
Apparently Hornet's a little less squeamish than you are, Sammy. He pulls
Aho to his feet, only to drop him back down with a short-arm clothesline.
Hornet covers! ONE..............TWO............NO! Aho kicks
out as Worthington's hand starts to come down for the three-count. SB:
He should've just stayed down. I may not like Hornet...but I know what
he's gonna do now. BB:
What do you mean, Sammy? SB:
Hornet's dangerous when he doesn't get what he wants. Remember WASP? BB:
Good point. Hornet drops an elbow on Aho, then pulls him to his feet and
shoots him into the ropes. Aho somehow dodges the clothesline and comes
back across....Hornet's going for a back body... Aho stops.... SWINGING
NECKBREAKER! Huge move by the World Champion...and he hooks the
leg! ONE...............NO, Hornet kicks out, sending Aho toward the center
of the ring. Hornet backs into the corner, still trying to shake off that
neckbreaker. Aho's up to his knees, still trying to deal with the effects
of his time outside the ring. SB:
Aho better get up first, or he's got no shot. I may not like the kid, but
I like Hornball even less. BB:
Aho's up to his feet, but so is Hornet. Flying forearm out of the corner
by Hornet takes both men down again. Hornet hooks the leg again:
ONE.......... TWO........... NO! Aho kicks out again. Hornet pulls
Aho up by the tights... he hooks the leg... BRAINBUSTER! Hornet might have
him here...but apparently he doesn't think so... he's headed for the ropes! SB:
This is either going to make me very happy, or very, very sad. BB:
Hornet's taking the somewhat-safe route... he's not going for the Shooting Star
Press... instead, he's simply going to splash right on top of Aho. Here he
goes... TOP...ROPE....JUMP..... and SPLASH! A huge jump by Hornet to reach
Aho, but the momentum knocks him off. He pulls Aho closer and goes for the
pin! ONE...... TWO...................THREE!!!!!!!!!!!! Hornet is the
FIVE-TIME.... SB:
Not quite yet! Look at Worthington! BB:
Hornet's on his feet, but Worthington's telling him Aho got his foot on the rope
before the third count. This is almost a replay of what happened in the
match between Hornet and Eli Flair two years ago. SB:
Oh no...that means we're gonna get another speech doesn't it. BB:
Apparently not. Hornet pulls Aho up by the hair and sends him across the
ring! Aho hits the corner hard, certainly not doing any favors to those
ribs. Hornet quickly follows in with an elbow....then whips Aho across
again! Another running elbow! Hornet sends Aho into the corner
turnbuckle for the third time! He's setting up in the opposite
corner. HORNET SPLASH..... NO!!!! Aho somehow got out of the
corner.... he half-moved, half-fell, but either way, it did the trick!
Hornet gets a faceful of turnbuckle and he's stunned. Aho gains a few
seconds to try and recover. SB:
He better use em to get OUT OF THERE! Kid, you're the Champ, you don't
have to beat him, just outsmart him! BB:
Hornet shakes off the blow to the head and heads for Aho... but Aho takes him
down with a quick snapmare. Hornet tries to get a hold of Aho, but the
World Champ catches the former one in a reverse chinlock. Hornet tries to
power out, but just can't get the leverage. He finally grabs the bottom
rope, and Worthington calls for the break. SB:
Aho needs to get up and kick him in the head here. BB:
Why's that? SB:
Just cause I'd love to see it happen. BB:
I don't see it happening with Aho. He gives the clean break, and Hornet
climbs to his feet. The two meet in the center of the ring...
collar-and-elbow gives over in Aho's favor this time! Aho pushes Hornet
into the ropes.... he comes off... DDT!!! AHO COVERS!
ONE...........TWO..........NO!!! Hornet kicks out, but he's still
dazed. He quickly takes a powder until the bottom rope, but Aho stays
inside. SB: Maybe
that trip up the stairs didn't do as much damage to his brain as we all
thought. (The crowd begins to murmur.) BB:
Here we go again! TERI MELTON is on top of the rampway, and it looks like
she's ready to get involved in this match. She helped Hornet win the
United States title earlier tonight...and now it looks as if she wants 'her man'
to have the World Title. SB:
Or maybe she wants to stand back and watch Hornet get pinned... just to show him
who the real brains of the operation is. BB:
It's not as if these two have had kind words for each other in the last couple
of weeks.... I just can't figure out why Teri helped in the first place.
Or what she's up to now! Anyway, Hornet's facing the ring, he hasn't seen
her....and if Aho has, he hasn't let it take his attention away from
Hornet. Hornet rolls inside the ring and charges Aho, only to get a knee
to the midsection followed by another DDT! ONE............
TWO.....NO! Hornet kicks out again as Teri continues her determined walk
down to ringside. SB:
Is it me, or are the hooters even more magnificent now that she's ready to pop
that bun she's got in the oven. What a lucky, lucky child. BB:
Sammy...that's just crude. Aho monkey flips Hornet into the corner.
Teri is now at ringside...and within arm's reach of the ring. I still
don't think either man in the ring has seen her. SB:
But that man has! BB:
LAWRENCE STANLEY is on his way down to ringside... but Teri turns as the crowd
reacts. Stanley's yelling at her...and it sounds like Teri's yelling
back. Inside the ring, Aho pulls Hornet out of the corner with a snap
suplex, but Hornet's up before Aho can try for the cover. Aho goes to
grapple with Hornet, but the former World Champion gets the edge and sends Aho
chest-first into the turnbuckle! He follows with an elbow to the back of
the head...and now it looks like Hornet's setting up for another Hornet
splash!!!! SB: And
Teri's setting up too! BB:
Teri breaks off her argument with Stanley to hook Aho's leg so that he can't get
out of the corner! Hornet comes across..... and stops! Stanley pulls
Teri away.... and now she's trying to claw "The English Gent's" eyes
out!!! She's literally got her nails all over him! AND STANLEY
PUSHES HER AWAY! She hit the apron pretty hard, and Teri Melton goes down! SB:
This is a tragedy...I hope the hooters weren't hurt. BB:
Hornet slides out of the ring and shoves Stanley. He's yelling at Stanley
to leave ringside...and apparently he wants him to take Teri with him!
Marvin, can we get a ringside microphone on? STANLEY:
I didn't mean to hurt.... HORNET:
I don't care! You want her? Take her! Just get away from here! BB:
Referee Worthington has started the ten-count while Hornet's outside... and
Aho's taking the opportunity to get a breather. TERI:
The baby....I think... I'm having... the baby. BB:
Hornet has rolled back inside the ring... Teri's still down at ringside, and
Stanley looks like he doesn't quite know what to do. He may have been led
on and spurned by Teri in favor of Hornet...but apparently the 'Gent' still has
enough class to be worried about a pregnant woman. He's calling for
paramedics. SB: Is
that huge wet spot on the mats supposed to be there? BB:
I can't believe this is happening. Well...it's the CSWA, I shouldn't be
surprised. Inside the ring, Aho and Hornet lock up again. Standing
switch by Aho, go-behind by Hornet. Hornet forces Aho into the corner and
gives the clean break. They meet back up in the center, AND HORNET LEVELS
AHO WITH A RIGHT HAND! The way this match had been going, I don't think
Aho expects that one! Worthington warns Hornet about the closed fist...but
Hornet is on top of the World Champ pounding right after left after right! SB:
Looks like somebody's releasing some aggression. That can't be healthy. BB:
Worthington tries to stop him, but Hornet pushes him away. On the outside,
Teri's starting to scream, and Stanley's still yelling for some medical
assistance. Hornet finally stops wailing away on Aho...but apparently only
because he's out of breath. Teri may be in labor, but she's apparently
annoyed that Hornet's not at her side, cause she's yelling for him...or at him. SB:
He is the father after all...he should be getting her to a hospital, not
wrestling! He's completely ignoring her! BB:
Aho's still down, and Hornet's just waiting for him to get up. Aho's
slowly getting to his feet....Hornet charges for the clothesline, but Aho ducks
it again! EXPLODER SUPLEX by Aho! The cover!
ONE............... TWO.................... NOOOO!! Hornet kicks out
after a huge move from the World Champion! Both men are climbing to their
feet! HUGE FOREARM by Hornet catches Aho off guard! Hornet with a
punch right to the ribs, and follows with an elbow, taking Aho's wind by hitting
those already injured ribs! SB:
Um... where are the paramedics? Is Lawrence Stanley gonna have to go where
he's never been before and deliver this baby? BB:
It looks like that's exactly what he's going to have to do. On the inside,
Hornet hooks in a crossface on Aho! I've never seen him do this before...
but he's keeping Aho on the mat, continuing to restrict the airflow... and put
pressure on the already-beaten head and ribcage of Evan Aho. On the
outside, Teri's yelling is getting more insistent... we're told that paramedics
are on their way... they had not yet returned from taking Troy Windham to the
hospital earlier. SB:
Oh great, more Windham shenanigans to screw things up. BB:
Aho's desperately trying to escape the crossface. He can't power out, but
he's reaching for that bottom rope as this crowd cheers him on. He's just
inches away, but Hornet wrenches the forearms again.... you can see the pain on
Aho's face...but he's just got to block it out for a few more
seconds. SB:
If only Teri could block out the pain of ever having been with Hornet. BB:
Aho still continues to struggle...and apparently so does Teri. She's
apparently asking Stanley if she should push! SB:
That's just not right. BB:
Stanley leans down...I suppose to see if the baby is on its way.... Teri just
kicked him in the head! What the hell!? SB:
She's having a baby, Buckley...why do you think they use stirrups? BB:
What is Teri doing? She's reaching under her dress..... is she... what
is... And Evan Aho has reached the ropes as this crowd gets to his
feet! Worthington forces Hornet to give the break. He does...but
Hornet's still has the advantage as he climbs to his feet. He pushes
Worthington into the far corner.... Ben Worthington hits hard and looks
stunned. On the outside, Lawrence Stanley is getting up. SB:
Not for long! KABONG! BB:
What the.... SB: I
love it. HOOTERS ARE BACK BABY! BB:
You mean she's not.... but he's.... but.... SB:
CAN YOU SAY SETUP, BUCKLEY? BB:
But what's she gonna do next?! SB:
Whatever she wants, Buckley! Whatever SHE WANTS! BB:
Hornet pulls Aho to his feet. He whips Aho into the turnbuckle.... as Teri
Melton leaps on the apron. SB:
It's the answer to the age-old question, Buckley. BB:
What are you talking about? SB:
You just have to have the right CLUES. BB:
Here it comes..... HORNET SPLASH!!! SB:
MISS HOOTERS.... ON THE APRON.... WITH A CANDLESTICK! BB:
Teri Melton just walloped Hornet in the side of the head with a
candlestick. Worthington's on the wrong side to see it! SB:
A think of beauty... BB:
Aho's still stunned from the Splash, he's clueless. Hornet stumbles
backwards. Aho goes in...kick to the gut. He hits the
ropes..... THE AGONY! He nails Hornet with that diving inverted
DDT! And here it comes...this crowd is still up.... THE ECSTASY!
Worthington dives into position to count it. ONE.........
TWO...... THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! EVAN AHO
RETAINS THE CSWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! SB:
And HOOTERS are back baby! BB:
Ben Worthington presents Aho with his World Title belt....and Hornet is still
stunned in the center of the ring. But what in the name of all that's good
is going on with Teri Melton!? It's obvious she's not pregnant.... was
this whole thing a setup? For eight months? SB:
The light bulb's finally starting to get some juice there, ain't it Buckley? (CUEUP:
"We Are The Champions" by Queen) BB:
As Evan Aho starts to exit this arena full of screaming fans, it looks like he's
getting some special music of his own. SB:
That's not for him, you goof. BB:
Who's it..... CSWA Owner Chad Merritt is at the top of the rampway, and it
looks like he's on his way down. He stops to shake hands with the World
Champ... but Aho blows by his boss. SB:
Not a smart thing to do, especially not tonight. BB:
What's Merritt coming down here for? Is he going to... oh no.... SB:
That light bulb just gets brighter and brighter doesn't it, el stupido? BB:
CAN IT, Benson....before I can you. SB:
Not even your threats can bring me down this time, Buckley. BB:
Merritt gets to ringside....and Teri Melton falls in his arms. It was a
setup all along....another ploy to.... well, it looks like we're going to hear
from Merritt himself. (Merritt
and Melton climb into the ring.... but the crowd isn't happy.) MERRITT:
You know ladies and gentlemen, if they gave Oscars for performances in
wrestling....the beautiful young lady standing next to me would have no
competition. For nine months, she's pretended to be Hornet's castoff...
when we all know that no man in his right mind would send her away. She's
pretended to be housing the spawn of the devil himself, and she did it even
better than that chick in Rosemary's Baby. (Teri
takes a bow to all four sides of the arena as Merritt continues.) You
see, there was no better piece to play against the opponent's King than my
Queen. Only "The American Woman" could get under the skin of the
former "Greatest American Hero." Only a woman like Teri
Melton could help me make the final play to deliver Checkmate against the men
who tried to bring me down. Over
a year ago, four so-called superstars stepped into this ring and tried to usurp
my authority. You see, this wasn't some cartoon comradery like the NWO
down in Atlanta or up in Stamford... this was the banding together of three men
and one woman who decided that I was a bigger threat than their hatred for one
another. And you know what? They were right. But
they made the mistake of underestimating me yet again? And where did that
leave them? It left Eli Flair without Poison Ivy and back to his antics of
self-destruction. He may have won the night tonight... but he may never
walk into or out of another arena under his own power again. Mike
Randalls got the second shock of his life tonight. Hornet may have made
steam rise years ago using an electrified steel cage.... but all I needed was
one contract signing to get the same effect. Randalls never believed I'd
let "The Strongest Arms In The World" step foot in a CSWA ring
again... and he was wrong. And
then the final irony. The man they call Hornet... brought to his knees by
a woman. All because he couldn't accept a fair contract offer without
making a power play. Let me tell you one thing Hornet... I may not be able
to fire you... I may not be able to suspend you... and I may have to pay you a
truckload of money over the next three years.... but you will never, ever get
one-up on me again. And if you ever try...I'll grind you up until there's
nothing left, except little pieces of you to sell for $19.95 at the souvenir
stands. Folks, we're
certainly glad you came. I wouldn't have wanted you to miss this for the
world. ("We Are The
Champions" plays again as Merritt and Melton step outside the ring.) BB:
Just when you thought he might actually be a decent guy.... SB:
You were hoping, weren't you? BB:
Fans, we end tonight with Evan Aho as your CSWA World Champion. Hornet
wins the US Title. Simply Stunning hold onto the Unified Tag Team
Titles. Wicked Sight gains a World Title shot in San Diego. And Teri
Melton's not pregnant.... SB:
And she's not shacking up with Hornet! WHOO HOO! BB:
Didn't I tell you to shut up? Fans, for Sammy Benson, this is Bill Buckley
saying good night from the Merritt Auditorium and CSWA ANNIVERSARY 2001.
Have a very Happy New Year. (Roll
credits. Fade out.)
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