BB: HELLO WRESTLING FANS! And welcome to CSWA SHOWTIME in Columbia, South Carolina, here at the Colonial Center, home of the Gamecocks!

SB: You don’t really want me to touch that one, do you?

BB: In so many ways, no. Fans, we’re LIVE here on U-62 and thrilled to be back with you for this event. Off the heels of our last PRIMETIME up the way in Chapel Hill, we’ve got some incredible matches lined up. In a rematch from their double countout from PRIMETIME, Lawrence Stanley and Troy Douglas will face off in a match that will certainly impact their standing in the rankings.

SB: We have rankings? Who knew.

BB: The championship committee, of course.

SB: I just assumed that was Thomas, a monkey and a wheel.

BB: Also at PRIMETIME, JJ DeVille and Bobby Karma faced off against the United States and Presidential Champions in a tag match for the right to challenge for their titles. That means tonight, it’ll be JJ DeVille challenging Kin Hiroshi for the US Title, and Bobby Karma trying to make the Presidential Championship his first CSWA title by taking it away from two-time champion Cameron Cruise.

SB: It’s been a long time since there was a match where I wanted to pull against both guys in the ring. But I think that’s one of them.

BB: Greensboro Champion Kevin Watson looks to make it two successful title defenses in a row, but he faces Ice Tre! Also tonight, we’ll hear from Hornet, Eron the Relentless, Nova, Simon A. Theodore, as well as a special announcement about the CSWA’s next pay-per-view from Stephen Thomas. It’s the return of FISH FUND!

SB: The greatest cause in the world. Making fat women skinny and ugly women pretty. Is there anything more beautiful than that?

BB: You make it all seem so…

SB: Well is there!?

BB: I’m not even going to attempt to answer that one. Folks, it’s a packed SHOWTIME here on U-62 in primetime, and we’ll get started after --

(CUE UP: “Love Me Or Hate Me” – Lil’ Wayne)