BUCKLEY: Hear that, Sammy?

BENSON: The dinner bell?

BUCKLEY: That’s the sound of forty-one gladiators charging into combat.

BENSON: I didn’t know there was an in-flight movie.

BUCKLEY: If you can hear the sound of my voice over the action and crowd, then you’ve joined us to watch the action here in the ring featuring the United States Championship! Kin Hiroshi is looking to protect his championship and to find a way to hold on and move onto the center ring to challenge for the UNIFIED Title.

BENSON: He should’ve bribed the field with muffins laced with Nyquil.

BUCKLEY: Whoa! Hiroshi was trying to stay out of the initial action, but Hornet just barreled through the field and caught up with him! He slams the US Champ into the turnbuckle and is choking the life out of him with a boot to the throat!!

BENSON: Poor bitter old man. He can take it that Hiroshi beat him fair-and-square for the US Title.

BUCKLEY: You really like to rewrite history, don’t you?

BENSON: It’s a talent.

BUCKLEY: While the former US champ goes after the current one, we’ve got a literal scrum in the middle of the ring as the other eight competitors are just pounding away! Nova springs out from the middle of the pack, catching Rob Torborg with a spinning back elbow to the mouth! Kevin Powers, the biggest man in this ring by far, sends Simon “S.A.T” Theodore sprawling into a turnbuckle. And now it looks like the big man, a former US Champ in his own right, is going after Hornet and Hiroshi! He pulls Hornet off of Hiroshi and drops him with a HUGE short-arm clothesline!

BENSON: It’s amazing what getting drunk before a match can do for you. Not that it couldn’t have happened to a better person than ol’ Bugbrain.

BUCKLEY: Kevin Powers pulls Hornet up to..and OFF… his feet! He’s holding him up in the air by his throat, and it looks like he might try and just PUSH him over the top rope with Hiroshi’s help!

BENSON: Can you imagine if Hornet goes out FIRST? I might squeal like a little girl who just got invited into Troy Windham’s dressing room.

BUCKLEY: Speaking of the UNIFIED Champ, he’s taken a break from making his catcalls to focus on what’s happening here. This could be our first elimination of the NIGHT…not just in the US ring! Powers is trying to get Hornet higher off the ground with Kin’s help… NO! Thumb to the eye by Hornet!

BENSON: It’s dirty tricks, I tell you!

BUCKLEY: Hornet drops to the mat, but jumps to the second turnbuckle! REVERSE DDT onto Powers! And Kin Hiroshi makes a quick getaway, only to literally bump into the back of Scott Riktor! They both turn around… spinning HEEL KICK by Riktor! And the US Champ just hit the mat hard! Meanwhile, Kevin Powers has pulled himself, but right in the middle of a gaggle of smaller wrestlers! Standing at 6’10 and over 300 pounds, it looks like Kin Hiroshi isn’t the only man with a target on his back.

BENSON: They’d be stupid to realize that if Powers holds on until just two or three of them are left, he could run the table.

BUCKLEY: Powers tries to charge Hornet again, but gets a boot to the face that knocks him directly into a HUGE spinebuster from Bobby Karma! Powers is up quickly, but he gets caught with a DDT by “The Commander.”

BENSON: Exactly what does T. Waring “command?” His underpants?

BUCKLEY: Sammy.

BENSON: Yes, yes, please excuse me. I’m sure he’s a naval commander with a fleet just off the Outer Banks.

BUCKLEY: Powers is down, but not out! He seems to be the focus of an almost unified effort. Scott Riktor and Kin Hiroshi continue to go at it in one corner while SAT and Nova are in the other. But that leaves two corners left and Powers in the middle of the ring. Look out below! Greensboro native Troy Douglas comes off the top…. TOP ROPE HEADBUTT!

BENSON: And the man he ‘manages,’ Kin Hiroshi, doesn’t seem to be coming to his aid…

BUCKLEY: It’s not over yet though! Zell Hunter off the top! MARIO STOMP!

BENSON: What?!

BUCKLEY: He just literally jumped into Powers’ midsection.

BENSON: Yeah, I saw that! But what the hell is a “Mario Stomp.”

BUCKLEY: What you just saw!

BENSON: Oh…I thought it was some sort of maneuver involving a plumber, the Mafia and a wrench.

BUCKLEY: I really wonder about you sometimes.

BENSON: Haven’t you ever seen the Sopranos?

BUCKLEY: Hunter and Douglas have Powers up and against the ropes. “Good God” Kevin Powers isn’t one to quit though, he got his legs wrapped around the ropes and is calling for help from Kin Hiroshi. But Hiroshi is still embroiled with Scott Riktor, and now Rob Torborg joins the action there as well.

BENSON: The only other help he can hope for is from his dear dear friend, Captain Morgan.

BUCKLEY: Waring charges in to try and help take out Powers, but S.A.T. catches him on the way over with a big bulldog! He pulls “The Commander” to his feet and takes his breath away with a low blow!

BENSON: See, that’s the kind of guy I like. Using that brain of his. Did you know he’s a spelling bee champion?

BUCKLEY: Wait a second. You called down Hornet for using a thumb to the eye and now…

BENSON: I’m like a brainteaser, Buckley. The harder you try to unravel me, the more difficult it becomes.

BUCKLEY: Crazy is more like it. Zell Hunter and Aaron Douglas continue to try to break Kevin Powers’ hold on the ropes, but it looks like they’re going to get a little more help. Nova has been left unoccupied, and now he’s up top!

BENSON: Did I just hear Junior Hornet yell “CLEAR!” in the center ring? He better not be calling for Timmy Windham!

BUCKLEY: No…I think he’s just excited about THIS! NOVACAINE!!! NOVACAINE!!! Nova just jumped all the way across the ring and caught Kevin Powers right in the head! Kevin Powers is OUT!

BENSON: But Nova better watch out himself! Zell Hunter just dropped a knee to the head of the downed Nova, but here comes Bobby Karma! The Rome, Georgia native charges in with a SPEAR like he’s just been sitting back and waiting for his moment. He and Hunter just went THROUGH the ropes to the outside! But they’re not eliminated because they didn’t go over the top! They’ll have a count to return to the ring or risk being disqualified.

BENSON: You mean they can’t just sit on the outside, then rush in at the last minute, eliminate one guy and win the thing? Because that would be…. Predictable.

BUCKLEY: Karma has already rolled himself back in, while Hunter takes a moment to shake off the cobwebs. On the other side of the squared circle, Hiroshi has found a way to extricate himself from Torborg and Riktor, but he turns around to find himself out of the frying pan and into the fire. It’s HORNET!

BENSON: Eddy Love tried bug spray. Mike Randalls tried electricity. Jim Williams tried fire and a branding iron. GUNS tried sheer muscle. It’s like nothing will kill him! Would Thomas fire me if I tested out my theory that he’s bulletproof?

BUCKLEY: Hornet with a right hand. He picks the US Champ up! BRAINBUSTER! And now we’ve got another near elimination as Zell Hunter is back in has Nova halfway over the ropes on his back. These two are almost the same size and weight….big elbow by Hunter just pounding away at the former LoC Legacy Champion. But here comes Bobby Karma again!

BENSON: Oh how his mother hates to hear those words.

BUCKLEY: Dropkick to the back of Hunter sends him careening into Nova and knocks him over!!! Zell Hunter spins around…Karma catches him…. FALL AWAY SLAM OVER THE TOP!!!! Zell Hunter is eliminated! And so is…. NO!! NOVA HELD ON!!! He skins the cat as Bobby Karma goes for a two-fer…. Double boot to the head knocks Karma out and allows Nova to come back through the ropes!

BENSON: That’s impressive. Seriously.

BUCKLEY: So we’re down to nine! Karma and Nova are facing off, Hornet continues to chase Hiroshi, S.A.T and Waring are against one turnbuckle, and Riktor and Torborg are in the opposite. And that leaves Troy Douglas all by his lonesome in still a third turnbuckle, getting a quick breather. But it looks like he’s about to jump back in the fray… he’s just choosing where to go.

BENSON: If he’s smart, he’ll stay right where he is. Then again, he’s from here in Greensboro.

BUCKLEY: And because of that, he may feel like he’s got only one choice. Troy Douglas charges right into the middle of Kin Hiroshi and Hornet and catches Hiroshi from behind with a Canadian backbreaker! He drops to the mat with Hiroshi, and now he’s got the US Champ locked in a dragon sleeper!!!!

BENSON: That can’t be good.

BUCKLEY: No indeed! At least not for Hiroshi’s chances of retaining the US Title. Hornet is simply standing there grinning as he watches the other Greensboro native take it to the US Champion!

BENSON: I’m telling you, the man’s a sadist. I’m surprised he hasn’t pulled out a branding iron from under the ring and gone crazy.

BUCKLEY: There’s still time. And I think I know who he might come after first.

BENSON: Don’t be so hard on yourself. He doesn’t hate you that much.

BUCKLEY: It would be a like a dream come true… to see you running for your life. Anyway, Hornet steps back and let Douglas continue to choke out Hiroshi. On the other side of the ring, Simon “S.A.T” Theodore turns “The Commander” into the ropes and is firing away with right hands. He puts Waring in a headlock and launches himself off the second rope… BULLDOG! S.A.T. quickly back up to his feet…he pulls Waring up and slams him into the turnbuckle back-first. He’s a got a boot up into Waring’s throat and he’s choking the EUWC European Champ.

BENSON: See, he’s showing those spelling-bee-champion smarts. He knew he couldn’t hold Waring in the corner for long, so he used his skill to take him off his feet, and now he’s using his smarts to choke the life out of the bigger man.

BUCKLEY: A man after your own black heart, huh?

BENSON: Who said I had a heart, Buckley?

BUCKLEY: Good point. While S.A.T. continues to work over Waring, Scott Riktor is taking a dangerous chance by climbing one of the turnbuckles on the far side. He’s taking aim on Rob Torborg, but all it takes is one misstep… MISSILE DROPKICK by Riktor and Torborg just got pounded into the ring. Riktor quickly follows up with a leg drop, and now works on pulling Torborg to his feet so he can try and get him up-and-over! S.A.T. is doing the same thing in the other turnbuckle, trying to get the larger Commander over the top the hard way. He’s got one of Waring’s legs over the top, but the big man isn’t going out that easily.

BENSON: That just looks wrong.

BUCKLEY: And in the middle of the ropes nearest to us, Nova is having absolutely no luck getting Bobby Karma’s frame lifted over the top rope. Nova’s about six inches taller than Karma, but Karma still outweighs the former PTC Extreme Champion by about 15 pounds. Nova tries to deadlift Karma over, but only succeeds in putting him over the second rope.

BENSON: Bobby says “What Comes Around Goes Around”… apparently that extra breakfast at IHOP is keeping his championship hopes alive.

BUCKLEY: We still have eight competitors with hopes of winning the US Championship in this one, and one man who is desperately trying to hold on to his gold belt. Waring has gotten out of his predicament and is handing it to S.A.T. in the far turnbuckle. And the US Champ Kin Hiroshi looks like he may be completely out of it, thanks to Troy Douglas’ dragon sleeper. And now, Douglas is getting help from his hometown hero as the two try to pull Hiroshi’s dead weight up and get him against the ropes. Douglas lifts Hiroshi over his shoulder, and now Hornet climbs through the ropes to the apron to help pull the US Champ over. But it looks like Kin has regained his senses enough to know what’s going on… and he’s fighting for his life!

BENSON: After all the hard work he went to in order to get that title away from Hornet, he can’t blow it here!

BUCKLEY: Hiroshi catches Hornet in the jaw with a flailing kick that knocks him off the apron, but he’s still in it because he hasn’t gone over the top rope. As Hornet rolls back inside, Hiroshi is using his elbows to try and force his way out of Douglas’ clutches… he does so… and lands on the other side of the apron. He’s about two inches away from elimination! Hornet’s yelling at Douglas…

BENSON: LOOK OUT!

BUCKLEY: The big man called “The Commander” T. Waring sees weakness and charges across the ring! Douglas turns halfway…. HUGE CLOTHESLINE!!! DOUGLAS IS UP AND OVER! AND SO IS THE COMMANDER!!! AND HIROSHI SURVIVES! Troy Douglas is eliminated! And The Commander is gone too! What just … ?

BENSON: Hiroshi saw the freight train coming and got out of the way… but he did so by dropping down and pulling the top rope, allowing Waring and his 276 pounds to collide into Douglas and take them both to the floor. You have to give the man credit.

BUCKLEY: Apparently so. And Hiroshi was quick to roll back under the bottom rope to get himself out of danger… even though he caught a knee drop from Hornet as a welcoming gift.

BENSON: So Hornet let Douglas do all the work, and now Douglas is gone? Does no one else see the man for what he is?

BUCKLEY: You’re even more anti-Hornet than usual, Sammy.

BENSON: Look, you and I have been around a long time… if he even gets a sniff of that center ring and Troy Windham… I just don’t wanna see it.

BUCKLEY: And then there were seven! Hornet has Hiroshi on his back on the mat nearest to us and is teeing off him with rights and lefts. Bobby Karma and Nova are playing the irresistible force versus the immovable object as Karma continues to use his low center of gravity to stay out of any real danger. S.A.T. is taking a breather in the far corner, but he’s dangerously close to where the battle between Scott Riktor and Rob Torborg is raging. Riktor almost had Torborg out after that missile dropkick minutes ago, but Torborg has fought his way back in by staying down on the mat and forcing Riktor to come after him. The former BWF World Champion has an ankle lock in on Riktor and he shows no sign of letting up.

BENSON: And it looks like S.A.T. has decided it’s time to jump back onto the dance card.

BUCKLEY: You’re showing your age, Sammy.

BENSON: It’s a saying, Buckley. Get over it.

BUCKLEY: S.A.T. with a huge headbutt on Torborg that staggers him and forces him to release the anklelock on Riktor. The LoC Legacy champion pulls himself up using the turnbuckle as S.A.T. catches Torborg with a knee lift to the mouth that may have loosened a few of his pearly whites! Riktor’s limping on the ankle, but it looks like he and S.A.T. have worked out an alliance as they pull Torborg to his feet and send him across into the ropes… DOUBLE ELBOW lays Torborg out. But the two simply pull him back up for more. Back into the ropes… huge leaping heel kick from Riktor staggers Torborg… BULLDOG from S.A.T. crushes him to the mat!

BENSON: He may have left a permanent imprint of his face there… I’m not sure yet.

BUCKLEY: Riktor pulls Torborg up and holds him against the ropes. S.A.T. grabs his legs and simply flips him over the top…and Rob Torborg is eliminated from GOLD RUSH! But the alliance is over! S.A.T. turns around into a DDT by Riktor!!!

BENSON: Yikes. That may spell disaster for Mr. Theodore.

BUCKLEY: That’s a truly horrible, horrible pun.

BENSON: What? Oh…spells…yeah, I got it.

BUCKLEY: And to think I gave you credit for it, even as awful as it was. S.A.T. is in trouble as Riktor props him up in the corner and unleashes on him with a series of brutal kicks. Nearest to us, Hornet continues to dominate the US Champion… it looks like Kin Hiroshi is bleeding from the mouth, or perhaps from his nose…let’s just say it doesn’t look pretty.

BENSON: Somebody get the man a towel and a muffin!

BUCKLEY: He pulls Hiroshi to his feet, and it looks like Hornet is going to try and work and endgame on the man who stole the US Title from him.

BENSON: Fair and square…

BUCKLEY: By definition, if something’s stolen…it was neither fair nor square.

BENSON: Whatever.

BUCKLEY: As Hornet pulls Hiroshi towards the ropes to set him up, we’ve got a sudden flurry from Bobby Karma. He’s turned the tables on Nova with a quick fisherman suplex out of nowhere. And now he’s got him locked again…hold on…. FALL AWAY SLAM OVER THE TOP!!! But Nova held on the top AGAIN and he’s still in it! Karma thinks he’s eliminated Nova…and he’s already looking for his next victim! He charges across the ring towards Hornet! SPEAR! SPEAR!!! He takes Hornet through the ropes to the floor!

BENSON: He just can’t seem to do anything right can he?

BUCKLEY: He’s certainly made an impact! Nova is still recovering on the apron after pulling himself back to safety, but he’s still in a precarious spot. And he just wiped out Hornet by taking him through the ropes to the floor!

BENSON: But Karma looks a little worse for wear too. I think he may have knocked himself out hitting his head on the floor!

BUCKLEY: You may be right! Hornet is the first one to stir. He extricates himself from under Karma’s right arm and is trying to pull himself back onto the apron. The referees outside are checking on Karma…if he’s determined not able to continue, he’ll be disqualified from the match.

BENSON: So you’re saying he would’ve eliminated himself?

BUCKLEY: Exactly right.

BENSON: That may be a first... hmmm… there was that one IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS…

BUCKLEY: Hiroshi has dragged himself to the turnbuckle and is trying to recover from the beating he took for the last few minutes. S.A.T. is trying to scramble away from Scott Riktor with no luck. And we actually have three men outside the ropes… Karma is being checked on, Nova is recovering on the camera-side apron, and Hornet is pulling himself back up to the apron on the opposite side.

BENSON: Riktor’s the only one that looks like he’s still in shape to win this thing at the moment. But that can all change…

BUCKLEY: Hornet pulls himself through the ropes and into the ring and sets his sights on Hiroshi. Wait a second… Nova springs into action as well… literally. He jumps onto the MIDDLE of the top rope and launches across the ring!!! He spins in the air…. HUGE ELBOW!!! HORNET’S OVER…. AND OUT!!! Hornet has been eliminated by Nova and that huge spinning-flying-elbow-of-doom! I’ve never seen a move like that in a battle royal…and certainly not all the way across the ring!!!! It was out of nowhere!

BENSON: (crying) I knew you wouldn’t let it happen. And I promise I’ll never drink again...

BUCKLEY: You’re about to be struck by lightning, aren’t you?

BENSON: Very possibly.

BUCKLEY: Nova almost went over the top with Hornet, but the rebound was enough to keep him against the ropes! You’ve witnessed something special here folks… it’s not often you see that much athleticism and agility combined with all-out risk. But Nova’s not safe yet! Hiroshi is up and now he’s after the man that just did him a huge favor! Leg sweep by Hiroshi, and now a quick leg lariat keeps Nova grounded!

BENSON: He’s the next biggest man left.

BUCKLEY: You’re right… Nova knocked out the largest man left in the ring – Hornet was six-foot-five and there is no one left over six-foot-three. But speaking of knocked out, the referees have ruled Bobby Karma alright to continue and are giving him a ten-count to get back into the ring. He rolls inside, but he’s still trying to shake the cobwebs out.

BENSON: He better do it quick…cause there’s Hiroshi!

BUCKLEY: The US Champ rattles Karma with a huge boot to the head! A quick leg drop on the back of the head follows up! On this side of the ring, Riktor charges Nova, trying to take advantage of fatigue after the huge athletic feat he just displayed. Riktor charges in with a leaping heel kick, but Nova drops to the mat and it misses! But Riktor follows with a dropkick to the head that may have just knocked Nova unconscious!

BENSON: That was nasty. I liked it.

BUCKLEY: Of course you would. Riktor focused on Nova, but he doesn’t see S.A.T behind! LOW BLOW by Simon Theodore drops Riktor to his knees, and now S.A.T. follows with a headbutt! He pulls the dazed Riktor up and sends him for the ride across the ring… Riktor ducks the clothesline and comes back across… he just NAILED S.A.T. with a scissor kick on his way back across!

BENSON: But this time he doesn’t see NOVA!

BUCKLEY: T-BONE SUPLEX takes Riktor from a huge high to a major low! Nova pulls him up and catches him with an elbow…he whips him across the ring… and S.A.T is there! MASSIVE BACK BODY DROP…. OVER THE TOP!!!! Scott Riktor is OUT! And we’re down to four!

BENSON: Make that three!!!

BUCKLEY: Kin Hiroshi just dropkicked Bobby Karma over the top to the floor! Bobby Karma is eliminated! We’re left with the US Champion in the center of the ring, Nova on one side, and S.A.T. on the other…and we’ve got a three-way staredown! All men charge at once! DROPKICKS all around… they just hit each other and collided! Nova and Hiroshi are up first! Jumping calf kick by Nova backs Hiroshi against the ropes and the US Champion is in enormous danger of losing his title right here!

BENSON: Only two are going through to the center ring… and right now, two have taken their eyes off a man who has proved himself to be immensely dangerous! Can you spell S-A-T?!

BUCKLEY: Nova has Hiroshi halfway over the top, but S.A.T charges and tries to take both men out at once!!! Instead, he gets caught with an elbow from Nova, but he may have just saved Kin Hiroshi from elimination!

BENSON: Sometimes the best laid plans…

BUCKLEY: Nova with a german suplex that sends S.A.T. across the ring…he starts to go for a crossface, but quickly pulls up, realizing that Hiroshi is still a danger behind him. But that allows S.A.T to catch him with a simple kick to the shin that sends him into a Northern Lights suplex by Hiroshi!!! But Nova is back up immediately! NECKBREAKER by Hiroshi! S.A.T. charges, but gets brought down by a Hiroshi clothesline!

BENSON: Muffins for everybody!

BUCKLEY: S.A.T is up, but Hiroshi quickly says something to him… it looks like the US Champ is trying to enlist the rookie’s help in eliminating Nova.

BENSON: Wouldn’t you rather go against a rookie, even a smart one, rather than a known quantity like Nova?

BUCKLEY: He may be new to the CSWA, but Nova has established a name for himself as the Legacy Champion among others… it looks like the deal is signed! Both men pull Nova to his feet and send him into the ropes… wait… DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE by Nova takes both men down! They’re up… spinning kick by Nova to S.A.T. … dropkick to Hiroshi! S.A.T charges again, but gets caught with another german suplex! Hiroshi with a dropkick! Nova’s up, but Hiroshi locks his head…. Powers him up for a suplex… S.A.T DROPKICKS HIROSHI. BOTH MEN GO OVER!!!

BENSON: I TOLD YOU! The man is a SPELLING BEE CHAMPION for goodness’ sakes!

BUCKLEY: Nova hits the floor, but Hiroshi somehow manages to hold onto the top rope!!! S.A.T thinks he’s got this thing won…he’s calling for the referee to bring in the US Title! Nova is eliminated but we’ve still got two men left in this one…and only one knows it!

BENSON: Poor kid, sometimes the thrill of victory can get to you.

BUCKLEY: If he’s not careful, he’s going to find out about the agony of defeat! Hiroshi pulls himself up to the apron, making sure not to touch the floor. But instead of climbing back in…he’s going up top!! Simon A. Theodore is still arguing with the referee, who is trying to explain to him that he’s not the last man standing! He finally turns around! HURRICANRANA FROM THE TOP ROPE BY HIROSHI! S.A.T. just got flung into the opposite turnbuckle and hit his head hard! Look at Hiroshi’s eyes!

BENSON: He can smell it, Buckley. He came here to keep that belt, and he’s ready to make good on that promise.

BUCKLEY: Kin Hiroshi pulls S.A.T out of the far corner and drops him with an inverted reverse DDT! And now he’s headed up to the top again! There’s no reason for him to do this… he could send Theodore over the top right now!

BENSON: It’s the adrenaline, Buckley. He could be making the same mistake S.A.T. did a minute ago. Then again, he could just be showing off. If so, I like it.

BUCKLEY: The US Champ is on the top rope and he’s pointing to the US Title overhead, and now at the UNIFIED World Title above the center ring! Hiroshi from the top…. ASAI MOONSAULT!! HE NAILED IT! S.A.T. convulses…. If this were a match decided by pinfall, Hiroshi would have as long a count as he needs. But instead, he pulls S.A.T. and benchpresses the rookie over his head.

BENSON: He’s lucky the kid is just 219 pounds.

BUCKLEY: True, given that Kin is just 230. The United States Champion walks a couple of steps towards us and simply tosses S.A.T. over the top to the floor! S.A.T. is eliminated… and Kin Hiroshi retains the United States Championship! But both men are headed to the center ring to face Troy Windham for the UNIFIED World Championship!

BENSON: It’s going to be NINE against one, Buckley. Then again, Cruise is in there, so take away one-and-a-half.

BUCKLEY: As S.A.T. takes a moment to recover, Hiroshi is on his way to the center ring where it sounds like Troy Windham is still doing commentary of his own. We’re going to get situated to get a birds’ eye view at the center ring, folks… the bell will ring in moments and the UNIFIED Title will be on the line!