(CUTTO: a clip from PRIMETIME in Montego Bay
UNIFIED World Title: Mark Windham vs. Dan Ryan in a Grudge Ladder Match)

BB: Ryan, fist in the air celebrating, he charges! WINDHAM WITH A DROP TOE-HOLD AND DAN SMACKS HIS HEAD OVER THE LADDER! And it’s Mark not wasting any time, setting up the second ladder! Blood stealing into his left eye, blinding him for a moment but he wipes it away and climbs! (MARK!) Windham second rung! A few feet from destiny. He stole the belt from Troy can he win it rightfully. ANOTHER RUNG! He’s close to the top.

CUTTO: Mark’s POV. He reaches up for the UNIFIED World title. It’s inches from his fingertips. A big hand comes into frame. Windham looks down it’s DAN RYAN ON EVEN FOOTING.

BB: Ryan with a head butt! And now he grabs and has the belt!! HE’S GOT IT! NO!!! Windham with a right hand! Both men fully on the last rung!! TRADING BLOWS! A see-saw battle! Ryan with a thumb to the left eye! Windham discouraged, Ryan reaches for his second title reign!

SB: What a match! I feel privileged to be here.

BB: Really?

SB: What do you think?

BB: The belt is in Ryan’s grasp, but Windham reaching through the ladder to grab a fistful of….

SB: Dollars?

BB: Yes! (CUTTO: Ryan growling in pain.) A right hand by Mark! And Dan slides down a couple rungs!! (MARK!) Windham climbs! He’s gonna do it! Sammy, a Windham will be World Champion again!

SB: (sigh)

CUTTO: Dan Ryan holding onto the edge of the ladder and whipping his body from his side to Mark’s. Dan a rung below Mark.

BB: (MARK!) Ryan with a forearm to the small of Windham’s back!! Mark’s hands were on the belt Sammy! Man oh man! These fans are lifting this ship right out of the water! (SB: Did you say ship or…) Windham elbows back at Ryan, but Dan ducks! Ryan a bear hug around Windham’s waist. (MARK) GOOD GRIEF! GERMAN SUPLEX OFF THE LADDER!

CUTTO: A quick pan of the pool deck. Fans loving the action!

CUTTO: Dan Ryan and Mark Windham befell on the mat. Ryan makes the first rumbling.

BB: Listen to this place! Justice will be served! Ryan kicks Windham’s limp body out the ring! (CUTTO: Out of ring shot. Windham falling through the ropes and hitting the mat with a SFX: THUD!)

SB: The end in sight! Glorious day. This sun is eating my skin, Buckley.

(MARK!!!)

BB: Dan Ryan on his feet! He's got both hands on the ladder he’s about to---HEY!! WHAT THE HELL!

(CUTTO: Troy Windham sliding under the bottom rope, storming behind Ryan!)

BB: RYAN DOESN’T SEE HIM! SLACKKNIFE! SLACKKNIFE!

SB: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

CUTTO: Troy to his feet in a hurry, climbing the ladder as fast as he can.

BB: What in the hell is Troy Windham doing here? (MARK!) He’s retired! He’s out of this company! Out of wrestling! Troy…to the top…..no! (CUTTO: Troy with two hears TEARING the UNIFIED World title off the hook!)

SFX: CRUISE HORN.

SB: WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!

BB: Troy Windham did not just win this match! Did he? (CUTTO: Windham slipping out of the ring, UNIFIED World title over his waist!)

SB: Anybody who grabs the title wins!

BB: Troy leaving with the belt! It’s over. I can’t believe it!

CUTTO: A close-up of Troy. His white t-shirt reads, “The Crown Jewel.”

BB: Fans we’re out of time. Dan Ryan robbed again! Troy Windham ON THE CRUISE AND BACK IN THE COMPANY?

SB: Thank goodness for tape-delay... all this can be edited out!

BB: Goodnight from the Parsons Cruise Liner! I’m stunned…

CUTTO: A bloody, and pissed Dan Ryan, on his knees in the ring. Shaking his head.

FADE TO BLACK.


(CUTTO: VERSUS 03. UNIFIED Champion Troy Windham speaks out about reclaiming his title.)

(CUT TO: A red velvet rope cordons off a special section of the CSWA Parsons Cruise Liner. A sign reads RESTRICTED AREA -- CURRENT WORLD CHAMPIONS AND GUESTS ONLY. The camera cuts to two bikini clad girls, possibly of age, -- one holding a red tropical mixed drink, with an umbrella and pineapple on the fringe, the other carrying a plate of Maki Roll sushi -- stand. Lounged out in his chair, wearing silver shades reflecting his world in all its glory, and wearing nothing but the tiniest of bikini briefs (with a silver crown with a diamond in the middle) to add to his bronzing solution, is TROY WINDHAM, his UNIFIED World Championship resting gingerly on his lap. Troy continues to sun himself until he sits up, takes off his shades, and folds them, clipping them into his bikini briefs right in front of his crotch.)

TROY: (Cackling) Did I really just do that? Again? Yes, I did. (The girls, on cue, also cackle with mischievious delight, even though it's obvious they barely know what planet they live on.) And what is it that I just done did? I STOLE THE SHOW. AGAIN. FOR THE UMPTEENTH STRAIGHT TIME.

Y'see, everyone WROTE ME OFF. Everyone saw heard the rumors, everyone saw my retirement speech, everyone saw my alleged last match ever where I tapped against Eli Flair, Forever My Footnote, down in that scumbag promotion NFW... and everyone thought that FINALLY... FINALLY we won't be in his shadow. FINALLY Troy Windham is out of the picture. The man who is the best looking wrestler of all time... the man who is the smartest wrestler of all time... the man who cuts the best promos, the man who has been in more five star matches than most people have DAYS IN THEIR LIVES... is gone. And while this might mean we no longer sell out arenas worldwide... while this might mean our paychecks are drastically reduced... this is good, because we will no longer be compared to The Gold Standard, The Measuring Stick, The King... THE CROWN JEWEL OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING... and the rest of the world will not know how bad at life we collectively are.

(Troy takes a sip of his mixed drink and hands it back to his valet.)

Well, guess what? CONSIDER YOURSELVES PUT BACK INTO YOUR PROPER PLACE. Y'see, last year, I set records. I sold out more arenas and had more PPV buys than any other man in history. I peed on people, I buried people under American flags, I stole titles, I sexually molested fellow world champions... 2-0-0-5 was The Best Year Ever. The accolades came in. TROY WINDHAM -- PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING'S MAN OF THE YEAR. I sat on top of this sport, looking down upon it from my French Alps chalet... AND I SPAT DOWN ON EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU FROM ABOVE. None of you stepped up to try and knock me off. None of you even did a THING to try and compete with me... BECAUSE ALL OF YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN'T.

Gods get bored with mortals. So I sat back and contemplated my next step. Go back to the movies? Win another Cable ACE Award, co-star on Veronica Mars? Possibly. Go out on the new Bloc Party tour with my man August De La Rossi and see the world? Perhaps. Or even better... set in stone ANOTHER DEVIOUS PLAN that will once again cement my legacy as THE GREATEST PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER WHO HAS EVER LIVED.

This is why I am here. I tapped out against Eli Flair, albeit no one actually saw it since it was in the NFW, to set you all up. I stowed away in the cargo vat for two months SO NO ONE KNEW I WAS HERE. And then I waited for the right moment to strike, the right moment to once again show everyone in the CSWA that I am the bee's knees and that I am the only wrestler alive who is worthy of this promotions marquee.

I stood in the back, and then I hopped the aisle... and then I took what is mine, what has been mine, and what forever WILL be mine... the UNIFIED World Championship.

Everyone for months has been BEGGING for a rematch. They all want to see Dan Ryan get another shot at me, after I upended him in what was, without question, the best wrestling match in any promotion in the world witnessed in 2005, the tenth straight year I wrestled in the Match of the Year. Everyone, for YEARS, has been begging to see me and my moron brother Mark get in the ring with the UNIFIED World Championship, the bragging rights of Sweetwater, Texas and the Windham name on the line.

Well -- you all FINALLY got your wish. Troy Windham sneaks up the ladder and takes what is his... (Troy picks up the title and holds it up.) Dan, Mark... thank you for coming about the CSWA's Good Ship Lollipop. We have some lovely parting gifts from you located in the casino lodge. Now you may go home, because YOU LOST TO TROY WINDHAM... and YOU DON'T GET ANOTHER SHOT AT THE GOLD.

Ya'll think I'm kidding about this? Ya'll think I was overbearing in my personal requests BEFORE? I'm serious -- Chad, Steve, Hacker, whoever is running this show this month, if my name is on a contract with either Dan Ryan or Mark Windham, I will throw this title overboard and ruin this promotion forever. Or even better... I'm going to get off this ship and present the UNIFIED World Championship to Craig Miles down in the NFW. You think we have bad blood? Well, we probably do, but he knows what it's like trying to run a promotion with Doc Silver as a marquee name -- it just can't be done, and he knows that a live PPV shot of me taking a dump on this piece of tin here will mean he can make payroll this week. I will do it, and you know I will. So don't even bother with it.

This is *MY* league, *MY* title and this is *MY* cruise. I Am The Gold Standard. I Am The Crown Jewel. It's my party... and I do what I want to! And what I want right now... is some sushi!

(Troy lays back down on his chair. The girl holding the Maki tray starts placing pieces of sushi on Troy's bare chest... and then the two girls start eating it off his body. FTB)


(CUTTO: The end of Stephen Thomas’s press conference announcing CSWA ANNIVERSARY 2006 and the ULTIMATE GOLD RUSH match.)
"And there’s the second meaning of the ‘gold rush.’ Not only is it a chance for the competitors to win one of the four CSWA championships, but it’s a chance for those who have always wanted a shot, always wanted to strap that gold around their waist, to come and throw their hat in the ring. The contract for the ULTIMATE GOLD RUSH match is an open contract. Meaning, you walk into the Auditorium for the pay-per-view and you're in the match. It's open to ANY wrestler, in ANY promotion. I don't care if you've never fought before in the CSWA, or have been banned in the CSWA, or just plain don't like the CSWA. This is your night. This is your opportunity."

"Why this match? Why now?"

"Because I'm tired of dreaming small. Because 18 years ago we came through those doors with four men and a few hundred in attendance. And if this is the last thing I ever do, we ever do, and it this stage, everything has to be considered as such, then I refuse to go out with a whimper. And also," Thomas scratched his chin and smiled, "because Troy Windham does not dictate to me the terms THE World title in this business is defended on."

"Are we to believe this is retaliation for Windham's recent refusal to put the belt up against Dan Ryan or his brother Mark Windham?"

"Yes, you're to believe that. Troy said he wouldn't wrestle two men. I'm demanding he face up to four."

"Who do you realistically expect to show up for this? And will Ryan or Windham be eligible?"

"To the latter, no. I'm giving Windham his wish." Thomas smiles. "To your first question. Anybody who's wanted a belt that dates back before their current company's existence should think really hard and long about showing up. People look at the CSWA and think what they want to think. But I've always seen it as a place for the best of the best to compete. And we've proven that. If you want the UNIFIED World title, if you want Troy Windham, then I suggest booking a trip to Greensboro."

"Mr. Thomas…"

"More information in the coming days, but for now, I'm off to plan a celebration. Thank you."