(FADEIN: An overhead shot of the PCL Pool Deck where PRIMETIME from Montego Bay rolls on. Three hundred happy Cruisers are scattered around the ring in bleachers, others, around and in the pool! It’s Main Event time and the fans love it!)

CUTTO: Adrian Evans playing chicken in the pool, on some beautiful blonde’s tanned shoulders.

CUTTO: Morris Day of the TIME handing out copies of his new CD. Hey, the CSWA spares NO expense.

CUTTO: The Announcing Post. Bill Buckley and Sammy Benson in lounge chairs, sipping drinks in Hawaiian shirts. Benson being fanned with giant leafs by the lucky winners of a lottery drawing he held last night. People will enter to win anything.

BB: You know Sammy this isn’t actually a vacation. You still have a job to do. Need I remind of you that?

SB: Oh right. Working twice a year is killing me. Buckley when you filed your taxes this year, you listed what Thomas slides under the table as “other income” didn’t you? Due to this place being run like a Indian reservation petting zoo, you’ve been working at Slurpee’s forty hours a week for the last three years. Don’t lie.

BB: Sure. Protest now. These fans should know your tune changes Saturday’s at midnight when you need a Cherry-ade fix. I thought you aimed to kill me when the machine broke last month and you were forced to lick the melting ice from the ice tray.

SB: I did. And I won’t need a third shot, I can promise you that.

MUSIC CUEUP: “Zero” by the Smashing Pumpkins.

CUTTO: Dan Ryan stepping out from behind the curtains to the delight of the 300 fans on deck! Ryan swats a beach ball from his face and marches to the ring, determined, angry, and tanning!

BB: Dan Ryan the former CSWA World Champion!

SB: It hasn’t been THAT long, Buckley. Our target audience have to be elephants to keep getting into this product. Trust me, you’re okay.

BB: What a show he put on with Troy Windham (SB: Bill…) at ANNIVERSARY. So close to winning the big title for a second time and in a lot of fans’ opinions, right a severe wrong.

RHUBARB JONES: V/O Ladies and gentlemen this match is for the UNIFIED WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP….

SB: V/O Does he have to yell? We’re in the Atlantic with 300 people on a pool deck, and even less watching when this piece eventually airs. It’s okay to whisper.

RHUBARB JONES: V/O This match has a thirty-minute time limit. The winner must scale a ladder and grab the UNIFIED title suspended above the ring! (MARK!) The first challenger, from Houston, Texas stands at six foot seven, well over three hundred pounds, he is the former UNIFIED WORLD champion, and one of the biggest names in this business….DAN RA-RA-RA-RYANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

SB: Why can’t you just credit Thomas for cracking down on steroids BEFORE Major League Baseball, and women’s curling? The man is a trendsetter who wanted to level the playing field. I’ve got five dollars that says if he stripped Dan for having too much dick and wanted it spread around, you’d be first in line to get an extension.

BB: You know, people HAVE been thrown overboard before. Don’t tempt me.

MUSIC CUEUP: “Pretending” – HIM)

CUTTO: Mark Windham brushing the curtains back and stalking the ring. He’s wearing a sleeveless black T-shit with white and gold lettering that reads, “If You Change Your Mind,” and ivy green long tights.

SB: I’d like to see you try. Never interrupt the talent’s massage.

BB: You’re calling yourself talent now?

SB: It’s hidden, but there.

BB: Uh huh.

RHUBARB JONES: The second challenger, a former UNIFIED World champion in his own right, one of the CSWA’s original four wrestlers, from Sweetwater, Texas….6’6, 252, “THE LOST SOUL” MARK WINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDHAM!!

CUTTO: Windham and Ryan squaring off in the ring as the fans are jazzed!

CUTTO: A pullback shot of the ring and the World Title suspended by wires 12 feet above the ring!

(MARK!)

BB: Remember it was Ryan who beat Windham for the title nearly three years ago! Can he do it again?

SB: Well, he’s got a fifty-fifty shot wiseass.

(MARK!)

SFX: Cruise Horn.

BB: There’s the bell, and it’s Windham wasting no time jumping Ryan in the dawn of his match! Windham with a series of right hands to the reeling head of Ryan! Windham with his fifth unprotected shot, these right hands finding their way in clean! (CUTTO: Mark standing toe-to-toe with Ryan, spent. Ryan takes off his sunglasses and smirks.) Ryan BLOCKED a weary shot from Windham, bends to scoop the challenger up! Good Grief! Ryan, pressing Mark Windham well-over his head! Windham down HARD to the mat!

CUTTO: Mark slowly to his feet, the ocean spinning.

BB: Ryan quick slingshot off the ropes, running clothesline! Ryan checking his arm to make sure Windham’s head didn’t come with it! Ryan off the ropes again, CLOTHESLINE!

SB: This is a byproduct of only being in the ring twice a year for Windham. He has no bearings. Think of your wedding night for an appropriate comparison.

BB: Windham's rubber legged, but up. Reaching for the ropes, but he only finds Dan’s flying shoulder! Shoulderblock from the Ego Buster! This could be the quickest UNIFIED title match in history, but Ryan has to get one of the two ladders hidden under the ring, and snatch that belt!

SB: What if a seagull flies in and takes it? I’m not saying it’s plausible, but what would be the ruling? Can we get Marvin to look that up. Like it hasn’t happened before on one of these things.

BB: Ryan buries a knee in Mark’s gut, and it’s Windham doubled over his toilet! The beating he’s taken to this point on par with a rough night drinking…RYAN STEPPING ON WINDHAM’S BACK! He’s going to base jump from Windham’s back to the belt!

SB: Do you even know what base jumping is Buckley? Honestly.

CUTTO: Ryan leaping off Mark’s back and grabbing onto the wire holding up the UNIFIED title

BB: DAN’S GOT IT!! HE’S SIX INCHES AWAY! (SB: Too easy. I’ve mellowed over the years to touch that one.) Ryan just has to reach over, grab the UNIFIED title and fall to his second reign as champ! (MARK!) Dan, with one hand free, trying to unhook the title, having a little trouble, but HE’S GOT IT! NO! Sammy how close is he?

CUTTO: Sammy Benson next to Buckley, cucumbers over his eyes and being fed grapes.

SB: A million miles away…

CUTTO: Mark Windham perched on top of the turnbuckle behind Ryan.

BB: Dan lifting the belt off the hook…..he’s gonna do it! And in under two minutes to boot! WAIT! Windham off the top rope and onto Ryan! MARK HANGING ONTO DAN RYAN’S BODY! Both men swinging back and forth, back and forth Ryan loses grip! MODIFIED GERMAN SUPLEX AS BOTH MEN HIT THE MAT! (MARK!) Sammy, Dan needed two hands to take that belt off, and couldn’t do it. Maybe, just a second longer and he would’ve become a 2-time UNIFIED World Champion.

SB: This sun is killing me Buckley. Can we not do something about this? Seriously?

BB: Oh shut up. Windham up with Ryan’s left leg in his hands, OH! He just dropped an elbow over the side of the knee! (CUTTO: Ryan clutching at his knee in pain.) Windham again up….and dropping his full body weight over the left knee of Dan Ryan! One way to stop a climb for the title, take away the legs.

SB: Spot on Bill.

BB: Mark rolls Ryan over, STF! Submission move but it won’t help Windham here, other than to further weaken the left leg! Ryan gamely reaching for the ropes, but he’s not close! Windham pulling back on the hold, he’d love nothing more than to break Dan Ryan’s leg!

SB: What gave you that idea? The fact that both men have 25 million dollar bounties on the other?

CUTTO: Windham pointing through the ropes, drawing Referee Ben Worthington’s attention outside the ring. With the ref blind, Windham jams a thumb into the right eye of Ryan.

BB: OH! A cheap shot! A blatant rules violation by Windham and he got away free as a bird! Move broken by Windham, and moved into a front headlock, modified sleeper! Cripple and put the big man to sleep! The nature of a ladder match in a nutshell. (Fans start CLAPPING for Ryan.)

SB: Rhythmic clapping by the idiots. Now is the perfect time to run this ship into a sunken nuclear warhead. They’d never see it coming. Well, I guess they wouldn’t anyway…but…(raises drink) to stop the ringing in my head.

BB: Ryan to his knees! Fighting the hold, Windham leaning on top of the Houston native for more leverage! These two warriors jockeying for position, Ryan to his feet! He grabs Windham with both hands around the thighs. Ryan lifts Mark up and rams him into the turnbuckle breaking the front headlock! Mark reaches for position again but eats a shoulder in the gut! Windham gasping for air and shot over the bridge of the nose with an elbow! Windham’s nose could be busted open!

SB: I fear it might be. Let’s stop the match and get into cooler conditions.

BB: Ryan with a stiff left jab that stings Mark. A right hand! Windham in trouble! Irish whipped into the opposite corner, off hard, POWERSLAM! Mark caught a charging Ryan! (MARK!)

CUTTO: Windham kneeling beside a fallen Ryan, checking his nose for blood.

BB: “The Lost Soul” quickly shaking any ring rust he might be feeling. (CUTTO: Windham standing, walking to the ropes and blowing a blood rocket out of his nose. Ten-feet behind him, Dan Ryan brings the crowd to their feet as he jumps up to his and waits.) Ryan up! Windham has no idea. Mark turns…DROPKICK AND THE SWEETWATER NATIVE is sent up and OVER the top rope! (MARK!)

SB: Careful now, I’ve seen men fall through the decking on the PCL1 and tunnel all the way through the ocean bed to China before.

BB: Windham shaken but on his feet outside, but Ryan’s not waiting! Dan off the far ropes, charging hard (MARK!) Ryan feet first through the middle rope, DROPKICKS MARK IN THE BACK!

CUTTO: Dan holding onto the top rope, bringing his body back around to the apron, as Mark is sent flying into Gregg Gethard VP Of Security. Gethard and Windham bump heads!

BB: What a move by Ryan! Mark’s head busted for sure, and longtime VP Gregg Gethard could be dead!

SB: If he’s not, he’d be an idiot NOT to sue this company for millions of dollars.

CUTTO: Gregg Gethard in the laps of fans in the front row, knocked out and bleeding.

SB: The head of security is gone. We’ve got LAWLESSNESS! I want every employee of this ship to guard the washed towels and pillow mints with their life.

BB: Ryan stalking the area, but reaching for a chair, not a table. (SFX: CRACK!) OHH! Dan Ryan just cracked Windham in the back with a steel chair! Another shot! And Mark falls on his back! Ryan went for the quick fix, Sammy, he may not try for the belt again until Windham is in three pieces.

SB: I’ve been lobbying for that, for how many years?

BB: Ryan dragging Mark across the deck by both legs. Dan measures, falls to the floor and catapults Windham in the air and head first into the iron ring post! If that felt half as bad as it sounded….

SB: Oh I know. Sorta like, “Janice Gavin do you take this man, Bill Buckley to be your…”

BB: I hate you. (SB: No you don’t.)

CUTTO: Slow motion, spilt screen replay of Windham smacking the iron post.

BB: Mark bleeding a little from the head as Ryan SLAMS his face right over the apron! Two hands over the back of Mark’s head, Ryan wiping the layer of dust off the apron with Windham’s head! (CUTTO: Mark dropping to his knees, hands covering his forehead) No mercy shown by the Ego Buster. Standing leg scissors. Sammy, he’s setting up for the Humility Bomb!

SB: THE POOL DECK CAN’T TAKE IT! THESE ARE SHARK INFESTED WATERS!

(CUTTO: Ryan lifting Windham up for the Humility Bomb, but as he lowers Mark down, Windham grabs the top rope and braces himself.)

BB: Survival instincts from Windham! A rake of the eyes! Windham with a HUGE uppercut that staggers Dan Ryan! Windham IRISH WHIPS RYAN INTO THE IRON POST! (SFX: THUD!) A flurry of offense that has stunned Dan Ryan!

CUTTO: Slow motion split-screen shot of Windham sneaking out of the Humility Bomb.

SB: (V/0) Windhams have been lying and cheating for years. It’s a way of life. You can’t trust them. And you see there, Mark, worming his way out of a back adjustment courtesy of Dan Ryan.

BB: Mark, oh come on! Stepping on Dan Ryan’s throat!

SB: He didn’t see him! Calm down!

BB: Windham wedging the chair that was racked over his back, in-between the bottom and middle ring rope. Mark…brings a shaky Ryan to his feet, IRISH WHIP INTO THE CHAIR! (SFX: PING!) Worthington not even bothering the count, and why not, this company has to crown a new World Champion. Let these two monsters of the sea destroy one another until one cannot answer the bell.

SB: See, that’s exactly what I wanted to do to get my Cherry-Ade but you nixed that idea, pretty quick, but no, endorse it?

BB: Windham FIRES Dan’s head into the ring apron! STANDING NECKBREAKER! (CUTTO: Dan Ryan clutching his neck in severe pain as boo’s rain down.) Windham methodical in his punishment. And for the first time Sammy, fishing under the ring! (MARK!) Windham pulling out a ladder!

SB: No stranger to one of those. He’s been painting my house for close to twelve years. Actually, I can’t complain about the quality of work.

BB: Windham priming the letter across the ring apron and over the security railing! What’s this mad man up to? (CUTTO: Windham bringing Ryan to his feet, and working him into a standing leg scissors)

SB: This is all Ivy’s doing. Don’t discredit the damage to a brain a broken heart inflicts. Had she given it up more often to Windham as much as she did the rest of the locker room, perhaps he’d be more apt to sign a few autographs for fans, and oh I don’t know, not try and maim opponents.

BB: Windham as this crowd’s long been on their feet! POW---NO! Blocked by Ryan! BACK BODY DROP ONTO THE LADDER! Ryan back in the game….Ryan turns Mark over on the ladder, faces him down, and works his left arm through a rung! Good grief! Dan Ryan has the left arm of Mark Windham pinned back through a RUNG in the ladder! Dan…no! (MARK!)

CUTTO: Ryan driving his full body weight on the left shoulder of Windham, possibly dislocating it.

MARK WINDHAM: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you son of a………

BB: This is…this is getting a little unsettling to be honest. (CUTTO: Ryan fishing under the ring for a second ladder.) Windham falling off the ladder. Sammy…you may get your wish! The “Lost Soul” might really be broken into two.

SB: My wish is three…

BB: Whatever. (CUTTO: Ryan standing up the second ladder.) All Dan Ryan need do is set the ladder up IN THE RING and climb for the belt. Surely Windham would make no move to stop the proceedings. Ryan throws a weightless Windham at the foot of his ladder. HEY! Ryan…with Mark’s left arm pinned back….enough is enough!

DAN RYAN: CLIMB!

MARK WINDHAM: Ahhhh. (censor) you!

DAN RYAN: (wrenching the arm back) CLIMB!

MARK WINDHAM: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

BB: Windham being forced to climb the ladder! (MARK!) All the way to the top, as Ryan now, leaves to climb to other side! (CUTTO: Ryan at the top, diving over to grab Mark by the hair to stop him from deliberately falling off.) Dan, pulling a beaten Mark Windham to the top of the ladder with him! This is the damnedest thing I’ve ever seen!

SB: Now that I don’t believe. I’ve seen the woman you’ve mated with.

BB: Ryan, legs swung over, Sammy….is he….he is! HE’S GOING FOR THE HUMILITY BOMB! Good Grief the strength required just to get Mark up, HE’S UP!! I DON’T BELIEVE IT…(MARK!) HUUUUUUUUUUUMILTY BOMB! HUMILIITY BOMB ON THE FIRST LADDER!

SFX: CRACK!

CROWD: CS! CS! CS!

CUTTO: Mark Windham laying over the platformed ladder. His back bent as if it was being licked by flames.

BB: What else can he do to the man….Ryan on top of the ladder!! (MARK!) Standing on the top rung! RYAN FROG SPLASH!! YES! (CUTTO: Dan Ryan laying over a fallen Windham, the ladder to the deck.)

SB: This may be the greatest day of my life. You can’t understand that now, but trust me. Windham to be destroyed!

BB: Ryan to his feet, and tossing a ladder up and over the top rope into the ring. Dinner is ready, just time to say the prayer. And Windham needs one right about now. Ryan, rolling through the bottom rope. This may be anti-climatic but after what this league has done to this man, how it has tried to invalidate his reign as champion…I hope they choke on this win!

SB: The menstrual side of Bill Buckley. I didn’t think we’d ever see it. Mark the day, children. Mark the day.

BB: Ryan with the ladder set up directly under the belt! Ryan first step taken! (MARK!) (CUTTO: A beaten Windham on his knees, arms over the apron, looking in at the events unfolding in the ring.) Ryan takes the next step, and the third. Windham rolls under the ropes! Amazing!

SB: Not really. Texans don’t know when to stop.

BB: Ryan up, he can almost touch the belt… (CUTTO: Mark in the ring standing, left shoulder hanging limp by his side.) Ryan…he sees Windham and leaps off! DOUBLE AXE HANDLE OVER MARK’S HEAD! (CUTTO: Windham falling back into the ropes) Sammy he should’ve stayed down! Ryan with a left hook! A body shot! IRISH WHIP, but Windham holds onto the rope and then clutches over in pain! That shoulder, Sammy it’s the same one Eli Flair destroyed at CSWA ANNIVERSARY 15.

SB: If he could submit here, he would.

BB: Ryan charges but it’s Windham with a saving right elbow across the chops! Ryan’s aggressive, sometimes overly so, but he’s looking to finish off Windham. Mark THERE’S THE IRON CLAW! (MARK!) The dreaded Iron Claw from Windham! The entire Windham family uses it!

SB: It’s taught from grade school on in Sweetwater.

BB: OH! Kick to the groin and Ryan is on both knees. Windham leaning in, putting as much pressure as he can! He’s won championships with this move! (CUTTO: Blood spurting out of Ryan’s forehead.)

SB: He crippled a wrestling legend with this move. Okay, legend may be pushing it.

BB: Mark out of desperation, trying to make Ryan pass out in the hold then climb! Blood leaking from Ryan’s head…both men have spilt theirs here tonight. Anything, everything to become UNIFIED World champion!

(CUTTO: Ryan grabs hold of Windham’s limp left arm with two hands and YANKS.)

BB: Windham in searing pain! Drops the hold, Ryan to his feet. Body slam! Ryan slams the ladder shut, and sets it up in the opposite corner of the ring (MARK!) he turns and there’s WINDHAM WITH A BODY PRESS! Windham turns Ryan around and works Dan’s right leg through a rung in the ladder….MY GAWD he bends it back, into some sort of modified FIGURE FOUR…THROUGH THE LADDER! (MARK) Mark Windham with a figure four, backwards as it may be…

SB: Well then, shall we call it the Canadian Figure four?

BB: Works for me Sammy, but whatever it is, it’s stopped Ryan dead in his tracks! Oh! Windham just Nestea Plunged back, past the ladder snapping that leg! Ryan to the mat in SERIOUS pain! (SB: As opposed to what Bill? Fly by night pain?) Mark rolls back to his feet as this crowd lets him have it!

SB: You know, I wouldn’t boo the man, or anyone in the ring on this Cruise. This isn’t like a regular show where you don’t get close enough to feed the animals. You boo Windham tonight, and tomorrow you could find him behind you in the buffet line!

BB: Good point. Windham kicking at the gimp leg of Ryan! Now bends it back, atomic drop on the knee! Ryan swings WILDLY and nearly connects! Windham kick to the gut! DDT on the ladder! (CUTTO: Windham quick to his feet asking for the second ladder to be thrown into the ring. Ben Worthington slides out to make it so.)

SB: This is great Bill. Troy Windham leaves the company to star in his own Spanish Soap Opera, and we now have our two biggest attractions crippling themselves. I’m calling Randy Clark! Finally my dream of managing a World Champion could happen! Where’s Eddy Love when you need him!

BB: Windham pummeling Ryan’s head with right hands, as the Ego Buster lays helpless against the propped ladder. Worthington throws the second ladder in, nearly hitting Windham! (SB: Ingenious heel turn! Wait.) (CUTTO: Ryan pulling his feet up and kicking Windham back about seven feet while Mark’s distracted) (MARK!) Windham dazed, BELLY-T0-BELLY SUPLEX ON THE LADDER BY RYAN! Ryan trying to walk off the damage to his knee!

SB: That’s great Ryan, put more pressure on it! That’s why I got out of the managing racket. Nobody listens, except when “she got in the club didn’t she” is said.

BB: The Ego Buster grabs the second ladder. Ladder in hand, Ryan charging Windham as if they’re jousting! WINDHAM ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!

SB: You know when we’re spearing men in the ring maybe we’ve gone too far. But, hey it got a reaction. I’ll shut up.

BB: Windham rolls, and attacks Ryan! The ladder dropped on top of the first one! Both men trading blows! Right hands after right hands! Mark getting the better of this round! Chopping Dan down! A 10-8 round for Windham! IRISH WHIP into the ropes, Dan limps off the turn…DROPKICK TO THE KNEE! And Ryan down as if he’s been shot!

CUTTO: Windham setting up both ladders over the ropes in a corner. Back-to-back.

SB: It’s like building a treehouse out here, or making a fort. You did a lot of that as a kid, didn’t you Buckley? I picture you hiding out for days in dry sheets with a pet turtle.

BB: Windham suplexing Ryan on top of the two ladders! Mark climbing up himself! Windham’s made a little stage almost out of the ladders….he’s standing on both, and pulling Ryan to his feet! (MARK!) Will anybody start going for the belt? WINDHAM HOOKS THE TIGHTS, IMPLANT DDT FROM THE LADDERS! (MARK!) Ryan’s head driven clear through the mat! The punishment these two men have inflicted on one another. Mark…ladder in hand setting it up! Finally!

SB: I’m telling you, a seagull is going to win this thing. Watch. We’re on the ocean, they can’t help it; everything smells like fish.

BB: Windham climbing to the disapproval of this crowd! ONE! TWO RUNGS! (MARK!) (CUTTO: Dan Ryan making his feet, limping, but reaching up with one paw to grab the back of Mark’s tights. Mark reaches in desperation for the belt but only his fingertips can touch it.) Ryan! Two hands, SLAMS Windham’s head into the ladder! Windham wobbly but with one foot still on! Dan, reaches over Mark’s throat, INVERTED DDT OFF THE LADDER!

SB: I’ve never understood why there’s a ladder in these matches. Why not just talk the belt down, you know, like an old lady would a nervous cat.

BB: Ryan gathers the ladder with two hands, folds it up…and spikes it into Mark’s chest! Windham gasping for air, trying to ward off the Ryan attack with his hands but Dan’s powering the ends of that ladder right into Windham’s ribs! (CUTTO: Ben Worthington in Ryan’s face pointing to the hung belt. A gentle reminder.) Dan, laying the ladder over the middle rope…drags Mark to his feet. A vicious forearm upper cut! (CUTTO: Windham’s head rocking back, tipping over the top rope.)

WINDHAM’S POV: The front row of fans upside down marking hard.

BB: Ryan cocks, ANOTHER UPPERCUT!

WINDHAM’S POV: Mark on a secluded beach with Poison Ivy. She’s standing at the edge of the beach as the tide softly massages her bare feet, looking out into the ocean. Windham approaches, running his left hand over the small of her back. Ivy lovingly turns and smiles. As the wind rustles their hair, Mark puts both hands over her face and kisses her.

Yeah, Windham’s on DREAM STREET!

BB: Ryan grabs Mark’s left hand, IRISH WHIP into the ropes, Dan catches Mark on the rebound, OH MAN! GERMAN SUPLEX ONTO THE LADDER! (SFX: CRINKLE) Windham is beaten there’s no doubt about it.

SB: I’ll believe that when he’s dead and buried. Which, by the way, don’t bother blowing out birthday candles with wishes. They don’t’ come true.

BB: It’s Ryan lodging a ladder into the middle turnbuckle of a corner. Pushing it in snug with his shoulder. Sammy, these two may have to be made to get the belt. (SB: That can’t be a good sign for this company.) Dan backing Mark up into the opposite corner. A knee into the gut! Windham with a game left hand, but Dan responds! Ryan whips Windham into the corner HARD! (CUTTO: Windham’s back CRASHING into the ladder.)

CUTTO: A group of fans on deck, reacting in amused horror.

BB: Ryan, fist in the air celebrating, he charges! WINDHAM WITH A DROP TOE-HOLD AND DAN SMACKS HIS HEAD OVER THE LADDER! And it’s Mark not wasting any time, setting up the second ladder! Blood stealing into his left eye, blinding him for a moment but he wipes it away and climbs! (MARK!) Windham second rung! A few feet from destiny. He stole the belt from Troy can he win it rightfully. ANOTHER RUNG! He’s close to the top.

CUTTO: Mark’s POV. He reaches up for the UNIFIED World title. It’s inches from his fingertips. A big hand comes into frame. Windham looks down it’s DAN RYAN ON EVEN FOOTING.

BB: Ryan with a head butt! And now he grabs and has the belt!! HE’S GOT IT! NO!!! Windham with a right hand! Both men fully on the last rung!! TRADING BLOWS! A see-saw battle! Ryan with a thumb to the left eye! Windham discouraged, Ryan reaches for his second title reign!

SB: What a match! I feel privileged to be here.

BB: Really?

SB: What do you think?

BB: The belt is in Ryan’s grasp, but Windham reaching through the ladder to grab a fistful of….

SB: Dollars?

BB: Yes! (CUTTO: Ryan growling in pain.) A right hand by Mark! And Dan slides down a couple rungs!! (MARK!) Windham climbs! He’s gonna do it! Sammy, a Windham will be World Champion again!

SB: (sigh)

CUTTO: Dan Ryan holding onto the edge of the ladder and whipping his body from his side to Mark’s. Dan a rung below Mark.

BB: (MARK!) Ryan with a forearm to the small of Windham’s back!! Mark’s hands were on the belt Sammy! Man oh man! These fans are lifting this ship right out of the water! (SB: Did you say ship or…) Windham elbows back at Ryan, but Dan ducks! Ryan a bear hug around Windham’s waist. (MARK) GOOD GRIEF! GERMAN SUPLEX OFF THE LADDER!

CUTTO: A quick pan of the pool deck. Fans loving the action!

CUTTO: Dan Ryan and Mark Windham befell on the mat. Ryan makes the first rumbling.

BB: Listen to this place! Justice will be served! Ryan kicks Windham’s limp body out the ring! (CUTTO: Out of ring shot. Windham falling through the ropes and hitting the mat with a SFX: THUD!)

SB: The end in sight! Glorious day. This sun is eating my skin, Buckley.

(MARK!!!)

BB: Dan Ryan on his feet! He's got both hands on the ladder he’s about to---HEY!! WHAT THE HELL!

(CUTTO: Troy Windham sliding under the bottom rope, storming behind Ryan!)

BB: RYAN DOESN’T SEE HIM! SLACKKNIFE! SLACKKNIFE!

SB: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

CUTTO: Troy to his feet in a hurry, climbing the ladder as fast as he can.

BB: What in the hell is Troy Windham doing here? (MARK!) He’s retired! He’s out of this company! Out of wrestling! Troy…to the top…..no! (CUTTO: Troy with two hears TEARING the UNIFIED World title off the hook!)

SFX: CRUISE HORN.

SB: WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!

BB: Troy Windham did not just win this match! Did he? (CUTTO: Windham slipping out of the ring, UNIFIED World title over his waist!)

SB: Anybody who grabs the title wins!

BB: Troy leaving with the belt! It’s over. I can’t believe it!

CUTTO: A close-up of Troy. His white t-shirt reads, “The Crown Jewel.”

BB: Fans we’re out of time. Dan Ryan robbed again! Troy Windham ON THE CRUISE AND BACK IN THE COMPANY?

SB: Thank goodness for tape-delay... all this can be edited out!

BB: Goodnight from the Parsons Cruise Liner! I’m stunned…

CUTTO: A bloody, and pissed Dan Ryan, on his knees in the ring. Shaking his head.

FADE TO BLACK.