(Fade into a shot of JA in front of the Parsons Cruise Liner on the docks at Miami, in a get up similar to that of the Skipper from Gilligan's Island, only instead of a plain blue shirt, it's a blue flower-print Hawaiian shirt, and a corncob pipe in his mouth that's clearly not lit, plus a pair of Douglas MacArthur type sunglasses. He's wearing the Greensboro Championship securely around his waist. He has several fans lined up on the pier with their hands behind their backs, standing at attention. Lollipop, dressed in a black bikini with a flowery-print sheet tied around her like a beachtowel as a dress and black Weezer glasses, is standing in the background with a clipboard. JA paces back and forth.)

JA: Alright gentlemen, as you may know, there has been a hacker on the loose on See-Ess-Dubya-Aye programming, causing all kinds of disruptions and generally wreaking havoc. Now, normally, I wouldn't really care as long as it didn't affect me, but in light of a recent tiff I had with the esteemed "Insert Random Hair Metal Band from the 80s Here" Ivy McGinnis, I feel as if I need to, I don't know how to put this, umm, repay her a favor as a gesture of goodwill.

So, what I'm going to do is hunt down this hacker and hand him over to the proper authorities. I have a strange feeling that he or she... or it, may be lurking on the cruise. Therefore, with us being locked away on this liner for the next couple of weeks, it will be the perfect opportunity to nail this son of a beach and make him cease his needless ravaging of See-Ess-Dub Tee-Vee.

FAN 1: But JA...

JA: I told you, address me properly!

FAN 1: I'm sorry... SIR YES SIR! What about your Greensboro Challenge, SIR YES SIR? Wouldn't that interfere, SIR YES SIR?

JA: Well, it would, but that's where you come in. I'm going to need your help, you, the fans of the See-Ess-Dub, because I will need to have some time to train for my matches, wrestle in my matches and of course, have sexual relations with my nubile, blond, nymphomaniacal girlfriend. You will help be my eyes, ears, nose and maybe my mouth, y'know, just in case the quiche they serve on here doesn't look so appetizing and I need someone to taste it for me, y'know, to make sure that the hacker hasn't poisoned it, or more realistically, that the guidos making this crap are actually sanitary. Is that understood?

FANS: (in unison) SIR YES SIR!

JA: Good. Now...

(Interrupting...)

Voice off screen: Maybe EYE! can be of some assistance.

JA: What in the deuce...

(The camera pans over to the end of the pier, where none other than RODERICK MCRATRICK and his band of merry scumbags; Rusty Joe, Rodney McRipped, Helga the Overweight Dominatrix, Lord Tophattington, small ralph, Stoney McGanjamin and of course, the Ghost of Steve Guttenberg; standing, with Roderick at the forefront, chest poofed out, hands on hips and cape waving in the breeze.)

JA: Who sent for you?

RMR: You did! Remember? You sent... you know, when you did, and you did and... hey look, a drifter.

JA: I'm not falling for that again.

RMR: Well, umm...

JA: Look, do you even have tickets to get on this thing?

RMR: Yeah, umm... you... uh, wanna look?

(Roderick hands over his boarding passes to JA who looks at them intently. He's ever more aghast with each ticket.)

JA: Mark Vizzack? GUNS? Stephen Flair? None of you are going to pass as these guys.

RMR: Well, umm, the ghost of Guttenberg kinda looks like Teri Melton.

GOSG: I DO NOT!

JA: And where the hell, how in the hell...

RMR: I know someone who knows someone who likes to go to S&M parties with someone who knows someone in the CSWA ticket office, and he pulled some strings. C'mon, it's not like they're going to use them!

JA: You're going to blow my cover though.

RMR: No we're not. I swear, we'll be discreet...

Rusty Joe: I be onery!

RMR: Pipe down, you old salt! Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, discreet.

(JA stares a hole in them.)

RMR: C'mon. You said you need help, right? I know all the most unscrupulous tricks in the book and the shadiest characters known to man, right?

JA: Well, yeah.

RMR: And I mean, I'm doing you a favor, right?

JA: Well, yeah, I guess so.

RMR: So I don't see how bad it'll be to let me tag along and help, and perhaps toss some old ladies overboard after I steal their dentures.

JA: Okay, you can come on board as my guests, but you will not throw old ladies overboard.

RMR: Not even one?

JA: Well maybe you can... NO! What am I saying? No shanghai-ing old women.

RMR: Oh, alright. I guess that's better than nothing. Come my band of scumbags! Let us partake in the cruise and hunt for this hacker!

Roddy's gang: YAY!

(Roderick and his band enter the Parsons liner. JA looks to his coterie of fans.)

JA: Well, I'll still need you guys too. I don't know if I can trust them. But for now, as you were, gentlemen.

(The fans breathe easy as the scene fades to the CSWA logo.)