BB:  We’re back here on SHOWTIME, and up next we have--

(Last Action Hero" by Tesla hits the speakers and the lights go out. A few moments pass, and when they come back up, Kin Hiroshi is standing in the ring with a blue spotlight on him. He seems to have teleported into the ring, but it was just a display of Kin's quickness. After posing for the fans, Kin moves to his corner, and stretches.)

BB:  Apparently, Hiroshi’s already in the ring.

SB:  Where’s the muffins?

BB:  Not sure, but here comes Mike Plett.

(The lights go out as “Know your enemies” by Rage against the Machine kicks in.  You can almost here the music over the boos from the crowd.  A spotlight hits the top of the ramp, and Plett is there, disdain for the fans evident on his face.  He goes to the CSWA ring, only stopping to spit towards a fan.  He slides under the ropes and leans against the corner.)

BB:  The ref has called for the bell as these two begin to size one another up.

SB:  Size these two up?  That should take about three seconds.

BB:  Plett and Hiroshi are two of the smaller competitors in the CSWA physically, but they’re also two of the most brash.  Kin won’t hold anything back against Plett. And Mike certainly doesn’t hold back against the CSWA.

SB:  The chalupa

BB:  Didn’t you get a memo about that?

SB:  Nope.  I bet Rudy stole it.

BB:  We’ve got a lockup.  Plett pushes it back to the rope and the ref calls for the break.

SB:  Clean break?  Right.  The only clean break we get from the chalupa is a fart.

BB:  Sammy!

SB:  It’s true… those things give me gas.

BB:  Then keep it to yourself.  Mike gives the Muffin Man a solid right hand.  A wicked grin on Plett’s face after that one.  A serious look on Hiroshi’s face.

SB:  I can’t keep it to myself… have you ever tried to NOT fart.  I heard that can kill you.

BB:  Another lockup and Plett backs him into the corner.  Ref calling for a clean break and- -

SB:  Not farting after a chalupa is like… the CSWA NOT having midgets. 

BB:  Plett with a solid right and the ref is in his face.  Like Plett cares, this is a CSWA official after all.

SB:  Have the ref fart in his face, that’ll make him care.

BB:  Hiroshi with a STIFF knife edge chop that stunned the surprised Plett.  Another chop, and another.  The crowd likes this faster pace.  Actually, I would say that they like seeing Plett get beat upon after attacking "Mr. CSWA" Troy Windham, cutting his hair.

SB:  The girl…zzzz really hate that.

BB:  Not to mention attacking Hornet and perennial fan favorite, Deacon.

SB:  Then they must LOVE that!

BB:  No question about it.  Hiroshi lays out Plett with a dropkick.  Plett rolls out of the ring to take a powder.  He’s saying that he doesn’t need this.

SB:  I’m not sure anyone NEEDS to be on the wrong end of a dropkick.  OR whatever THAT was!

BB:  Look out!!!  Corkscrew plancha outside the ring!  This crowd is going crazy!

SB:  No, I'd say the only crazy person is Muffins over there..  That was insane!

BB:  Hiroshi pulling out all the stops.  He’s back on the apron waiting for Plett to get up… ASAI MOONSAULT!

SB:  No, that move is called “Go splat on concrete.”

BB:  Kin missed on that one.  Those moves have big dividends.  If you're lucky, the opponent pays the price.  If not, you do.  Plett looks down at Hiroshi in disgust.

SB:  No, I think he’s still hurting from that corkscrew crazymajigthingie that Kin did.

BB:  He spit on him.  That would be disgust.

SB:  Maybe you’re right.

BB:  He rolls Hiroshi in the ring and there's a quick springboard plancha by Plett.  The quick cover…1…2…Not yet.  Plett's not worried as he picks up Hiroshi for a 360 Clothesline.  Plett pops back up and shouts at…

SB:  Evan Aho .  Does he think he’s in the ring with him?

BB:  Not unless his “sight” is a lot worse than anyone knows.  He’s focused on Aho, that much is clear.  Irish whip on Hiroshi and abdominal stretch!

SB:  It would’ve been, but Kin rolls back into a pin – 1…2….CLOSE one for Muffins.

BB:  That was too close.  Hiroshi up, Plett as well.  Back elbow by Plett.

SB:  HA!  Chalupa’s arm is grabbed and BACKSLIDE!  1…2…SHOULDER UP!

BB:  Plett back up and seems to be getting frustrated.

SB:  Maybe he can’t fart.

BB:  For the love of all that's good and pure, stop.  Both men up and Plett with a dropkick.  Hiroshi fighting his way back up and SUPERKICK!  He is DOWN!  Plett back to his feet and… oh good grief!

SB:  OK, that’s disgusting.

BB:  And that’s something coming from you.  The fans are onto Plett for that stunt.

SB:  Can we do that with the FCC?

BB:  Only if they’re not watching.  Plett is miming like he urinated on Hiroshi!

SB:  Eww… wet muffins.

BB:  That must’ve stung more than any move.  Plett climbs the top rope.  Moonsault.  Quick pin of 1…2…KICKOUT!  Hiroshi is holding tight.

SB:  Not by much.  Plett picks him up and sets up for a side Russian legsweep… no, a roll through and a pinning cradle on Plett.

BB:  1…2…three-no!  Plett kicked out, but he can’t get free.  Another pin attempt and another two count… still not out and another pin attempt.  Hiroshi seems to be playing with Plett a bit with these.

SB:  Or maybe he wants to irritate him after Plett’s little attempt at pantomime.

BB:  It’s succeeding... even the ref seems to be enjoying this one.  Plett hits Kin in the gut.  Release of the hold and Plett is up.  He grabs Hiroshi UP AND OVER with a belly to back.  HIROSHI lands on his feet.  Plett back to his feet and Hiroshi traps his arms and HEADBUTT, HEADBUTT, HEADBUTT and OVERHEAD SUPLEX!

SB:  This is fun… almost worth the gas I’ll have in a bit.

BB:  Hiroshi picks him up for a FRONT FACE suplex.  Roll over for a pin and… only a 2 count.  SO close.  Hiroshi up top and… waiting for Plett and CROSS BODY.  We’ve got a count.

SB:  1…2….and thre-oh. 

BB:  Hiroshi frustrated with that one, but not too much.  Kin calls for his submission… the Jiro-Kin sleeper!  He’s got it latched in, but we’ve gotta go to a commercial.

BB:  Two minutes and two seconds later, and Kin still has the move cinched in.  Plett’s in serious trouble with this matchup.

SB:  I’d go for the underdog in this situation, but that would bring up chalupas again and the Taco Bell dog.

BB:  Plett’s been in this move for almost three minutes.  He’s obviously in pain, but I’d dare to wager that even Hiroshi’s arms are getting tired holding onto the hold.

SB: I never get tired of holding a chalupa… just those who are around me afterward.

BB:  So I’ve heard.  Plett quickly rolls to the side, throwing Kin’s balance off for a second.  Mike’s hand is free!

SB:  OH, but that shot isn’t.  The muffin man won’t get any muffins tonight after that low blow.

BB: The ref was out of position and didn't see it.

SB:  A CSWA official… imagine that.  And it's not even Juarez!

BB:  Plett grabs his head and - - VIEW TO A KILL!  This match is OVER just like that!

SB:  Not if our chalupa can’t make the cover.  Both men are down, but Plett is trying to crawl over, his back obviously hurting.

BB:  He throws an arm over Kin.  ONE........  TWO.........  THREE!!!!!!!!!!!

SB:  Shoulder up… Hiroshi got the shoulder up!

BB:  You’re correct, and Plett can’t believe it!  He's arguing with referee Patrick Young, and pushes him into the corner!!  Young warns him, but just gets pushed back into the corner!  Kin starts to get to his feet, and Plett kicks him right in the forehead!

SB:  Don't hurt the muffins!

BB:  Young comes out of the corner to warn Plett, and gets punched in the jaw!  Young hits the mat, and Hiroshi trips Plett up!   He hooks in a half boston crab!  Plett's trapped in the move with nowhere to go, and he's tapping like a madman!  But thanks to his punch, the referee isn't there to call the submission.  Hiroshi lets go of the move and leans over to try and help the referee as Plett tries to recover.

SB:  Blasted Patrick Young and his glass jaw!  He gets that from his dad, ya know.

BB:  Plett's up and tries to hit Hiroshi with a neckbreaker, but Hiroshi dodges and counters with a huge knife edge chop.  He backs Plett into the corner and delivers more chops.... LOW BLOW by Plett drops Hiroshi, and it looks like Plett is heading for the hills!

SB:  No...he's headed over here.  Watch out!  Yo quiero Taco Bell!  Yo quiero Taco Bell!

BB:  Plett grabs a chair and heads back in the ring.  He plasters Hiroshi in the head with the chair and now starts to work over his back.  This isn't right.  And now he's calling for a microphone to gloat.

MP:  Hey Evan!  Yeah you, Evan AHolier-Than-Thou.  It's not your little muffin-baking friend I want, it's you!

BB:  Hiroshi starts to get up, and Plett drops the microphone.  Oh man... he just busted Kin open with a chairshot to the head.  Young is trying to get to his feet, and Plett simply kicks him out of the ring.  Mike Plett knows full well that Evan Aho is not in the building tonight.

SB:  I think he's just mad that Kin didn't offer him a muffin before the match.

BB:  Plett goes back to work on Hiroshi, delivering devastating kicks to the midsection.  Where's blasted security?

SB:  Probably in the back snacking on muffins.  I saw Hiroshi with a basket earlier.  (crowd pops)  I didn't realize they liked muffins so much.  Oh great, it's Bug...

BB:   Hornet's charging down to the ring!!!  Plett sees him coming and sets himself, but Hornet jumps on the apron and stops!  Plett charges, but Hornet sets his shoulder and dives forward, knocking the win out of Plett and taking him to the mat!!  Hornet sits on Plett, firing away with rights and lefts as the crowd cheers him on!  Plett tries to crawl away, but Hornet dives on his back and starts pounding his head into the mat!  Plett's nose is busted open before Hornet finally stops.

SB:  Now THAT'S a man who likes muffins...apparently.

BB:  Hornet kicks the chair out of the ring and heads over to check on Hiroshi, who is sitting in the corner.  And now it looks like Plett's cavalry has arrived as Chris Lehew helps pull him out of the ring before any more damage can be done.  Hornet helps Hiroshi to his feet and raises his hand.  Kin will win this one by disqualification... Fans, something has to be done about Plett.  This is getting out of hand.

SB:  What's getting out of hand is the fact that it's New Year's and I can't even get some champagne for a toast!

BB:  We're off to another commercial break folks.  The rematch between GUNS and Dan Ryan... NEXT!