BB:  Hello wrestling fans!  It's the final evening of 2002, but we're here with the first LIVE broadcast of the CSWA's new season here on the National Cable Network!  By now, you already know our four big matches of the evening, just as you know my broadcast partner, "The Living Lush" Sammy Benson.

SB:  Was that really necessary?

BB:  Hey, the way you come up with warped nicknames for our World Champion, I thought it was only fair.  Lighten up, Sammy, it's New Year's Eve!

SB:  Yes, and I couldn't possibly think of any better way to spend it.  I mean, instead of alcohol, I've got distilled water... and instead of a beautiful woman to kiss at midnight, I've got... you.

BB:  Don't even think about it.

SB:  Not even if I was plastered, Buckley... which it's apparent I won't be.

BB:  We're always thrilled to be in North Carolina, especially here in our debut in the Raleigh Entertainment and Sports Arena, the home of the Carolina Hurricanes.

SB:  Hockey in North Carolina?  Do you know what happens when these people see ice?  They lose their minds!

BB:  Tonight's Main Event is for the CSWA Presidential Championship.  Defending champion Tom Adler takes on former US Champ Lawrence Stanley.  We may find exactly where these two stand amidst all these 'factions' that have appeared here in the CSWA.

SB:  Well, it's not like either one of them is going to be asked to be a part of The Intruders... not unless they're ready to shine some boots. 

BB:  I don't think either one's waiting for their phone to ring with Miles, Mayfield or GUNS on the other end.

SB:  You never know, it could be Pi.  They could only be so lucky.

BB:  And it looks like we may not have to wait until tonight's match to find out about one of them.

(CUEUP:  ‘God Save the Queen.’  The crowd is worked up as "The English Gent" Lawrence Stanley walks out onto the stage area.  He is dressed to fight, wearing a new black ‘Instant Legend: Just Add Title’ T-shirt.  As he makes his way to the ring the camera pans to the crowd where the CSWA fans have their signs held up.  The cameras focus in on signs that read ‘Lawrence Stanley says “The CSWA needs YOU!”’, ‘”TEG” LS 4 PREZ’ and ‘Plett fears the Gent !’)

LS:  Good evening ladies and gentlemen!   (The crowd responds boisterously.)

SB:  Way to work a crowd limey!

LS:  My time before you tonight is not dedicated to my upcoming match with Tom Adler for the Presidential title…but rather on the subject of the bigger picture. ... the war that's about to start.

SB:  If he starts talking about Iraq then I’m off to the john!

BB:  Good grief.

LS:  I’ve come here tonight to verbally wage war on those members of the CSWA roster who are little more than parasitic scum.   (The crowd pops big.)

BB:  Whoa, strong words from the Gent .

LS:  Individuals who spend all their time thinking of schemes to destroy and tarnish the good name of the CSWA whilst happily cashing their pay checks at the end of each month.  I see movements made to stop their heinous actions and I too have taken it upon myself to do whatever is in my power to bring such actions to a stop.

SB:  Under his power?  Does he have power?  I heard he had to ask permission to go to the bathroom!

BB: Will you be serious for one minute?

SB:  It's like in that movie, "Pee break, boss?"

LS:  The GXW and the Intruders seem to think that they own the CSWA, that they have a divine right to mold it into how they see the future of wrestling.  They do not see that we are merely pawns in the bigger picture of professional wrestling, we can have a say and we can earn the respect and with it the right to have a say in the running of the federation.  But to have total control?  That would be anarchy.  So tell me people, who do you side with…..the GXW?  (The crowd boos.)   The Intruders? (Another loud boo.)  Or…the CSWA?!?!  (The crowd screams their approval.)

SB:  Somebody cut the power in the mic of Mr. ‘Cheap Pop’ will you?!?!

LS:  GXW…Intruders…watch out…the time has come to fight fire with fire, watch your backs, watch each other's backs.  “The English Gent” officially wages a war with you as of tonight, anyone with an iota of sense is welcome to join me.  Until we meet again, I bid you all a good day.

BB:  Lawrence Stanley puts himself solidly behind the CSWA!

SB:  Well, what a huge surprise.  Any more earth-shattering announcements tonight?  Is Mike Plett gonna announce he's the new Taco Bell spokesman?  Maybe Kin Hiroshi's gonna tell us he's got a new flavor of muffins coming out?

BB:  That's enough.

SB:  Cranberry nut?  Apple bran?

BB:  Maybe I can make some calls and we can string you to a pole and lower you as the clock hits midnight.

SB:  You'd love that, wouldn't you?

BB:  I would.  Truly I would.  Fans, in our effort to ignore Sammy, let's get to the first match of the evening.  Both men are making their SHOWTIME debut here in Raleigh, and it's a big one for them.  Michael Gettis has made his way to the ring.  Keep in mind that Gettis is wrestling near his hometown, so I'm sure he's got plenty of family and friends here tonight!

(The Nuku Hiva tribal music starts to play as green lights begin to flash on the rampway. The lights suddenly stop and Aelieas comes walking out on the stage slowly. He walks to the middle of the ramp, looks into the stands, and lifts up his arms as green fireworks shoot out into the air. Aelieas then continues down the ramp and slides into the ring.)

BB:  And Gettis isn't waiting for a bell.  The youngster, Fierte, slid into the ring, and Gettis pounced on him.

SB:  Would you wait?  Fierte is 300 pounds on a 6’8” frame.  That’s like Eli Flair on steroids…  

BB:  Flair's 6'9, 306, actually.

SB:  Ok, so it's like Poison Ivy on steroids then.

BB:  At the moment, he’s getting the stuffing beat out of him.  The ref is tugging at Micheal Gettis’ arm, trying to give Fierte a fighting chance.

SB:  Or he could be Kevin Powers off steroids.

BB:  Who?

SB:  Ayly… Aelis… oh, the guy with the busted nose in the ring.

BB:  Aelieas Fierte.

SB:  God Bless You.

BB:  God Bless Fierte cause he’s getting back up to his knees.

SB:  You’re right, Kevin Powers wouldn’t take steroids.

BB:  What are you TALKING about?

SB:  Kevin Powers.  I think he's into mind-altering drugs, not body-altering.

BB:  I have an idea, why don’t you talk about the match.

SB:  OK, who’s in it?

BB: (yelling) Micheal Gettis and Aeyly…er, Ally

SB:  Aelieas Fierte

BB:  YES!

SB:  Fine.  Fierte just got flippin’ pinned.

BB:  WHAT?!

SB:  Just kidding…  Hey, You think Kevin Powers would give me a beer?

BB:  (exasperated) Just call the match.

SB:  Maybe later.  I’m gonna hit on this girl…

BB:  OKAY!  Fierte back to his feet only for a moment until Big Time nails him with a Big Time ‘high flippin’ dropkick.  Gettis back to his feet.  He’s showing some skill in there, as well as a killer instinct.

SB:  …let your instincts take over, baby…

BB:  Gettis is smirking at the kid, “the Pride” of the Nuku Hivan people… man, after pronouncing that, I’m glad Sammy is preoccupied.

SB:  …ya know ya want me.  I’ve got the greatest occupation in the world…

BB:  Gettis measures a powerful right handed punch, sending blood splashing out of Fierte’s nose.

SB:  …ok, so my nosehairs need trimmed, I’ll wear a bag for ya…

BB:  Fierte's trying to protect his face.  He’s bent over, holding his nose and - - OH, DDT!  Fierte went face first to the mat and we have a cover.  1…2…Fierte with the shoulder up.  Gettis smiles, not a common reaction after being pinned.

SB:  …I’ll give you this gorgeous CSWA pin.  Only the employees get these…

BB:  Oh GOOD LORD, Gettis latched an underhook and planted “The Pride’s” nose into the mat.  Gettis back to his feet.  Fierte on the mat, rolling around.  Quick elbowdrop and Aelieas is not moving now.  Big Time points to the top rope, his elbow, and then his nose.  He’s going for the BIG TYMA!

SB:  …that’s right, welcome to the ‘big time’ with the emphasis on the word…

BB:  The Pride hits the top rope and Big Time is in Big Time trouble straddling the top rope.  Fierte, blood covering his face, climbs to the middle rope, and punches Gettis.

SB:  …I knew you’d be a cinch.  OW!  Whatja slap me for?

BB:  He cinches an underhook and

SB:  …You underhanded hooker bimbo…

BB:  SAMMY!  Fierte lifts Gettis up for a suplex AND...

SB:  - -AND NOTHING!  She slapped me for no good reason!

BB:  "THE PRIDE" hits the Écrasez Votre Âme!

SB:  Is that French?

BB:  1…2….3!!!!  And yes it's French, for "Crush Your Soul."

SB:  So, are you saying that she’ll go for me if I talk some of the language of love in her ear?

BB:  No, I’m telling you this match, just like your love life, is over.

SB:  …oh.  So, you think Kevin Powers will give me a beer?

BB:  No, but I'll give you a pink slip.  Fans, it's time for us to take a...

(As Fierte’s hand is raised in the ring, his music stops and the lights go out.  “Learn to Crawl” by Black Lab blares over the PA.  Most in the crowd are confused by this, but a few select people begin to cheer like madmen holding signs saying, “I Just Crossed Over”.  A single spotlight hits the curtain and standing in front of it is Nathan Cross.  He is wearing black patent leather pants, combat boots, and an extremely flashy silk shirt.  He looks at the crowd, most people still not responding.  He points out the few that know him, only causing them to get louder.  The energy spreads across the crowd, even those who were previously confused start to get into the moment.  Nate puts the microphone to his mouth and begins.)

NC:  How many of you have been waiting for this moment?  (Some in the crowd cheer, his people.)  Nathan Cross gives the world…SHOWTIME!  (His people go absolutely insane.  Nate points to them)

NC:  I know my “CROSSOVERS” have been waiting.  (His crew gets yet even louder.)  And for those who have been bothering to watch the SHOWTIME sister show – On Time – they already know what type of SHOW I give.  For those who bother to watch On Time, my CROSSOVERS, they’ll tell you that no one puts it on the line like Nathan Cross.  And I can tell from the recent ‘outing’ by everyone’s favorite “chieftain warrior”, Aelieas Fierte, that these people… MY PEOPLE… expect more.  So I have come, not to take over the CSWA, or piss on the CSWA, or even tear down the CSWA.  I have come to BE the CSWA.

(CSWAvision turns on.  It shows a scene from On Time…)

RS:  Cross with a counter, one… two, no, Liezure back over with a rollup, he gets one but Cross is already out, rollup, AND ANOTHER reversal, but Liezure not going for the pin… he’s lifting Cross from the position… he’s got Nathan Cross in the air for a powerbomb…

ByB:  Cross flies back, Frank’N’Parsons, Liezure rolls through and holds on tight… one… two…

RS:  NO!  Nate back up and they’re back at reversing counters, this one has broke down into a bout of desperation, these kids are REALLY showing us something tonight, the crowd seems to be rooting for Lance Liezure but Nathan Cross is showing us he can get the job done, if he sticks with it…

(The spotlight focuses back on Nathan Cross.  A few more people start cheering for this “kid”.)

NC: THAT is what the CSWA is about… entertaining the TRUE fans of wrestling.  And for all the chatting, I only got one thing to say to Lance Liezure, (Dramatic pause) thank you. (Fair applause from the crowd)  You gave the CROSSOVERS what they wanted to see, an entertaining match.  You got the pin, Lance, but WE got the victory.

(Nathan stops for a moment to lets the crowd give a small ovation.)

NC:  But after seeing that small clip of our match, it only shows how much Aelieas Fierte’s CRAP in that ring PALES in comparison.  It shows the “chieftain warrior” as an unentertaining hack committing the most vile sin in the history of Sports Entertainment.  And that sin?  To be dull.  I’m no preacher, and I certainly ain’t no ‘Deacon’, but if you offend the CROSSOVERS, then you offend me… and that offense will not go unpunished.  I have a plan, Fierte, and that plan WILL succeed.  And you, well… you’re the first one to hit the curb.  (Nathan Cross raises his arms in victory.  The Crossovers go insane in response.)

BB:  Fans, we're late for a break.  We'll be right back with Mike Plett taking on Kin Hiroshi.

SB:  Muffins!