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V/O: The National Cable Network, in conjunction with the CSWA and CS Enterprises, is proud to present the following pre-taped broadcast. (CUTTO: The screaming "Sea World Arena" crowd is jacked up as Andrew W.K.'s "I Get Wet" blasts over the sound system and the patented CSWA laser light show comes to an abrupt close.) BB: Ladies and gentlemen, wrestling fans, it's always a good day when the CSWA's comes back to one of my favorite places on earth, San Diego. We're here at Sea World, and we want to thank all the arena staff that always makes this a great place to come to. I'm Bill Buckley, here with my co-host, Sammy Benson. SB: It's one of the few places where I don't automatically think "Poison Ivy" when I smell fish. BB: You're getting started early tonight. SB: Hey, what can I say, I love San Diego too. BB: We're sitting on top of a mountain of massive matches here tonight, folks. SB: How's that for the worst alliteration ever? BB: You actually know what 'alliteration' means? I'm proud. You must've been doing the "Word-A-Days" in "Reader's Digest." SB: You're getting started early too, huh, Buckley? BB: You make it so easy. Fans, I don't even know where to begin. SB: The Main Event is usually a good spot.... BB: Tonight, the CSWA World Championship is on the line when champ Evan Aho takes on Wicked Sight! SB: OK, so I was wrong, try starting with Eddy Love. BB: Plus, a huge Four Corners match featuring Eddy Love, Mike Randalls, GUNS, and Mark Windham! I don't think I've seen a match with that much bad blood since... SB: ...since Hortense had a run in with some bad clams. BB: I guess it's only fitting that you start in with the Hortense jokes as we start the road to FISH FUND. Also tonight, as promised, Kevin Powers plans to retire and end his association with the CSWA! SB: It's a long time coming... BB: And before Sammy can stick his foot in his mouth anymore, let's get to the first night. SB: It's time for the "Muffin Man", isn't it? BB: Not just yet, Sammy.
BB: Well, first up with have a match between two new members of the CSWA roster, the "Lone Walker" Paul Michaels and Machine. This should be a good match up, as their both experienced from what we saw at 'ON TIME'. Let's take it down to ringside, though. (CUE UP: "Stuck in a Moment" by U2) RJ: Introducing first, from Amarillo, Texas. Making his PRIMETIME debut.... He is..."LONE WALKER" PAUL MICHAELS! BB: Paul Michaels making his way down the rampway and into the ring. He seems to be ready for his upcoming match against Machine... (Suddenly, Michaels is attacked from behind by Machine as some of the fans in attendance begin to boo. Machine takes Michaels down with a hard Double Axehandle. Machine then lifts up Michaels, and grabs him from behind, executing a release German Suplex. Michaels bounces off the canvas as the fans are booing a bit more, and Machine circles around Michaels for several seconds, measuring him up.) BB: This is unfair! Michaels was attacked from behind by Machine, and now Machine is dominating! SB: It's not cheating if you're not caught, Bill. (Machine lifts up Michaels, and looks quickly around, before whipping Michaels into a follow-through short-arm clothesline. Then, Michael's head falls onto Machine's knee, and Machine knees him to the head, rolling him off his knee, and onto the mat. Machine smirks, and then goes for the pin.) SB: One! BB: Two! SB: Kickout! BB: Yes! Michaels managed to kick out after that brutal barrage of moves by Machine, and Machine looks might upset right about now! (Machine kicks Michaels in the gut several times, then starts talking to the referee out in German as the fans are booing. However, while Machine is debating the referee, Michaels gets up from behind Machine, and grabs him from behind. He then lifts Machine up, and delivers a powerful German Suplex without an upper bridge. He does another, and then another. After he does the German Suplexes five time, he releases Machine.) BB: Michaels now gaining some ground against Machine, evening the score for what happened to him earlier in the match as the fans here are cheering! (Michaels then locks Machine into an STF submission hold as the fans go wild. Michaels wretches back Machine's head, attempting to break his leg or neck with the hold in a fit of anger. Machine grimaces for a second as the pain intensifies, but Machine sees his savior: the bottom rope. Using all of his might, Machine manages to drape his arm on the bottom rope, forcing Michaels to release the hold.) SB: Yes! Machine got out of that idiot's hold! BB: Michaels has been forced to remove the hold, and Michaels is getting up now, checking out Machine... (Michaels begins to lift up Machine, but Machine catches him low with a knee. Michaels keels over in pain, and Machine whips Michaels into the ropes. When Michaels returns, Machine grabs him by his waist, using a belly-to-belly suplex to take him to the mat, knocking the wind out of Michaels. Machine then gets up and lifts up Michaels, hooking his arms around him once more.) BB: What the hell is Machine doing now? (Machine executes a Northern Lights Suplex with a bridge, going for the pin.) BB: One! TWO! THREE!!! No! Michaels put his foot on the bottom rope before three! SB: WHAT? HE CHEATED! BB: It's not cheating, it's the rules, Sammy. SB: Shut up, Buckley. (Machine starts to yell at the referee again, ignoring the fact that Michaels is up behind him. Michaels sweeps Machine off his feet. The fans cheer as Michaels went over to Machine, and locked on his finisher, the Indian Death Lock. Machine screams in pain, attempting to hold back the urge to tap out to the devastating submission maneuver that is Michaels' finisher.) BB: Machine may tap out to this! (Machine manages to drape his arm on the rope for an instant, which is enough to break up the submission hold. The fans boo as Machine rolls out of the ring.) BB: Where in the world is Machine going? (Machine rolls under the ring as Michaels follows him outside. Michaels rolls back inside the ring. But just a second or two later, Machine comes out on the other side of the ring. He slides into the ring, grabbing a surprised Michaels from behind.) BB: How did he get across the ring so quickly? SB: He's fast as hell, I tell you! (Machine lifts Michaels into the air, then drives his back and neck into the mat with a hard German Suplex with an upper bridge as the fans boo Machine on.) BB: Machine with the pinfall if he can hold on! ONE.............TWO............... THREE!!!! Machine gets the win, as Paul Michaels kicks out just moments too late to save the match. Machine rolls out of the ring, heading up the rampway quickly before Michaels can protest. I don't know exactly what happened under that ring, Sammy, but I've got a feeling that Michaels was just screwed big time.... I just don't know how! SB: Buckley and his conspiracy theories again. BB: Me? You're the one that was convinced there were midgets out to kill you. SB: They pushed me off that huge waterfall ride at Disney World, Buckley...what do YOU think they were trying to do!? BB: Paul Michaels is exiting the ring... he's obviously confused and angry about his loss here tonight. It doesn't look like he knows how Machine pulled it off either! Fans, we'll be right back! |
