CUT TO:The Professionals walking
backstage, both with a cigarette in mouth
TO:Eli and Troy “playing tug-of-war” in the crowd
with a chair from ANNIVERSARY 2001
TO:Triple X hitting the XXXFactor
on Wicked Sight during a PrimeTime card
TO:Tom Adler walking toward the
arena from the parking lot
TO:Apocalypse at the top of the
ramp from Elvis Lives 2001
TO:Kin Hiroshi smiling.
TO:Mark Windham running toward the
cage at ANNIVERSARY 2001
TO:Wicked Sight along the guard
rail, tagging hands with a fan
TO:The Men Of Adventure standing
victorious in the center of the ring
TO:Nate Logan appearing out of
nowhere at ANNIVERSARY 2001
TO:A silhouette of “The
TO:Evan Aho and Hornet staring off
in the center of the ring
TO:Cameron Cruise looking over the
side of the stage at ANNIVERSARY 2001
TO:LawrenceStanley proudly waving the American and
TO:Shane Southern pounding on Tom
Adler from ANNIVERSARY 2001
TO:Lance Liezure holding a
skateboard in the center of the ring
TO:Cardigo Mysterian pointing to
the sky in Mobile, AL
TO:Kevin Power flipping off the
skybox at ANNIVERSARY 2001
TO:Mike Randalls in the Mojave Desert
TO:Eddy Love and Sweet Melissa
standing before a CSWA backdrop
TO:GUNS revealing himself
TO:The inside of the Shark Tank,
one singular pyro effect marks the beginning of CSWA: ON TIME as Praise hits its
chorus…The camera pans around to
catch signs, quickly catching glimpses of “Goodbye Good God”, “A-H-O
spells God”, “Ich Bin Machine”, “We LOVE Eddy”, “CSWA is BETTER than
X-TREME”, “If That Is Indeed Your Real Name”, “Number One FREAK”,
“SOUTHERN hospitality”… then focusing on a row of four people each holding
a sign – “G – U – N – S”, and finally finding its place on Billy
Buckley and Rudy Seitzer.)
ByB:It's CSWA: ON TIME. I'm your
host, Billy "Not My Father" Buckley, along with Rudy Seitzer, here in
the Shark Tank! We’re getting ready for a night of HUGE CSWA
action, we’ll be discussing what happened ANNIVERSARY 2001, quite possibly one
of the greatest card sin CSWA history, as well as take a look at PRIMETIME in San Diego, but right now we’re starting this
off with the “King Of Cool”!
RS:In your expert opinion, Billy, you think he has a chance against the
vs. JJ DeVille
Complete with an entrance as
awesome as himself, Machine stood in the ring and stared at JJ DeVille with what
appeared to be disgust.JJ looked
brave for a good twelve seconds, at which point Machine made his way toward
“The King of Cool,” sending JJ around the ring screaming.Eventually, as the anxiety fit subsided, the two locked up, and Machine
predictably manhandled his much smaller opponent.Several cries of agony from JJ and a few incredibly powerful maneuvers
from Machine (who physically appeared to match up closely with the likes of
Apocalypse and GUNS) later, and the man from Germany was wrapping the match up
with a trapezius nerve lock that made JJ pass out... after a moment of
uncontrollable screaming. An impressive debut by Machine.
RS:Machine was quite impressive in his debut, Billy.I haven't been able to find many sources
in my search for background on this German prodigy. While the
Machine faired well… of course… JJ didn’t.
BYB:Well, he did hit a karate chop in the middle of the bout that could
have put away the premier German athlete within the CSWA, and to be honest…
(CUE UP:“Ride of the Valkryes”
– crowd explodes with a “cool heel” pop)
RS:WHAT IS GUNS DOING HERE, AT ON
BYB:Who would miss ON TIME, Rudy?And look at JJ in the center of the ring, Rudy… he’s not doing the
Fargo Strut!He’s just now getting
up from the beating that Machine gave him…
(Finally, GUNS emerges from the
backstage area, and JJ begins to tremble visibly with fear...again.)
RS:This won’t be pretty… these fans in the Shark Tank are making a lot
of noise for GUNS, and I can’t tell whether or not they love him or they hate
him, but he’s certainly causing a buzz within the CSWA, both on TV and in the
locker room.A lot of younger
wrestlers are upset, from what my sources tell me… There’s an influx of new
talent, but some of the rising stars that have been here for a few years
apparently feel strongly about the return of The Strongest Arms In The World…
BYB:GUNS is in the ring and he’s staring at JJ, it looks like JJ’s
GUNS:(audible from the ring) Make a wisecrack, now, Deville… Make a
joke in the face of THIRD ROW, INC…
RS:JJ is shaking his head no, and I just hope he doesn’t wet himself!
BYB:GUNS is turning around… JJ just tried to hit The Strongest Arms In The
World from behind, and it doesn’t look like a good move!GUNS has been gone for a while now, but he’s in incredible shape, I
don’t think I’ve ever seen a man bigger than GUNS, and there he goes with a
fist that may have ruptured JJ’s spleen, JJ is crumpled over…
RS:BIONIC KNEELIFT, JJ DEVILLE JUST FLEW HALFWAY ACROSS THE RING… THE
SHARK TANK IS GOING NUTS!
BYB:And now, GUNS is lifting JJ up… he’s not even screaming anymore, I
think JJ Deville has been knocked out, and he’s looking out to the crowd…
OUT OF THE WAY!
BYB:It looks like security is clearing people in the first few rows out of
the way, and GUNS still has JJ Deville over his head.JJ’s a small guy, but make no doubt about it, GUNS has the strongest
arms of anybody I’ve ever seen, and OH LORD, JJ DEVILLE IS IN THE CROWD, GUNS
JUST THREW JJ DEVILLE OUT INTO THE CROWD…
RS:In the THIRD ROW, no less!
BYB:Indeed he did, and without breaking a sweat, GUNS just threw 200
something pounds a good ten feet…And
now he’s grabbing a mic from Rhubarb, and I don’t think Rhubarb is going to
get in his way…
GUNS:I might stoop pretty low, but a cheap shot?JJ, you really should watch…
(CUE UP:“Just Got Wicked” by Cold – massive face pop)
RS:WICKED SIGHT… MIKE PLETT IS OUT HERE, AND HE JUST INTERRUPTED GUNS!
WS:GUNS… calm down, I know all that testosterone must really get to ya,
I’ve heard of “herbal” side effects before, but ease up for a minute.These great CSWA fans in
aren’t ready to listen to you suck the life out of the first ever ON TIME.You’re a big guy, and you get done what you say you’re going to do.That’s more than I can say for some people around the CSWA.Eddy Love said he’d take care of me after ANNIVERSARY, but since that
night, all I’ve heard from “The Hurricane” is Mark Windham this and GUNS
that, Mike Randalls this and Eli Flair that…
Eddy… you saw the STELLAR
performance that I delivered at ANNIVERSARY, and now you’re starting to
realize that I have what it takes. And even though my name isn’t Windham
or Hornet, I’m a star, a capable star, and you don’t want to be embarrassed
by “That Plett Kid.”That’s
fine and dandy; you stay in your bubble, because it’ll get popped soon enough.But GUNS… you, what I have to say to you… it can’t wait.
You think you’re going to
kill the CSWA?You think you’re
going to eliminate the biggest stars until no one wants to watch anymore?Forget it.This isn’t the
same place you left behind.My
name’s Mike Plett, I’m the number one contender to the CSWA Heavyweight
Title, and I’m speaking on behalf of every guy that hasn’t main-evented a
PPV here in the CSWA, and some of the ones that have.I’m speaking on behalf of the locker room, minus the guys that are
“too good” for the rest of us.You’re
not going to squash us.Your arms
might be large enough to carry an S-10 on each shoulder, but the fact of the
matter is that while you can take out the Windhams, Hornet, Randalls… maybe
you can drive a
stake through his leg… while you can take out Love and you can take out
Melton, for every one of them, there’s a Wicked Sight, Triple X, Cameron
Cruise, Lance Liezure, Lawrence Stanley, a MAN NAMED EVAN AHO THAT’S WORKED
HIS ASS OFF TO GET HERE… Take all the guys that fought you before there was
any money in the CSWA, the ones that forgot why they came here, take out the
ones that are so wrapped up in their feuds that they’d end each other’s
careers, take out the men that would break each other’s fingers just to make
each other say “I Quit”, not to win, not to put on a show, but because
they’ve become consumed with each other and their ego-filled quests.But you won’t take any of the rest of us out, because it’s OUR time.I don’t care how many Windhams show up this month, what Hornet does
next, what emerges from the anus of Eddy Love, how much money Joey Melton’s
willing to pay to rape the CSWA, my class arrived a long time ago, and now the
center stage is ours.
GUNS… you can do what you
want, but when you start hurting the CSWA… Then you’re going to have to deal
with Mike Plett.
And then you’re going to see
just why the FREAKS run the pageantry around here…
(Crowd reaction begins to
(Wicked Sight throws his mic
down and heads back to a huge crowd pop as GUNS stands in the ring, having long
since disposed of his microphone, staring at Sight.)
BYB:Wicked Sight just moved to the top of GUNS’ hit list, if that look in
his face is any indication!
RS:We’ll be right back after these messages!
(The scene opens as Mitch Peterson and his fellow Hells
Angels are riding on a long stretch on the Highway. In the distance Mitch sees a
drive-in café and indicates for his friends to pull into the parking lot. He
parks his bike and his friends slowly pass him on their bikes. Mitch gets off
MP: Any of you guys wanna sandwich?
(Bomber takes off his helmet and breathes in deeply.)
BOMBER: Smell that Mitch? Bacon, sausage, eggs. Oh hell
MP: Come on, let’s go.
(Mitch and his friends walk over to the café.)
(CUE UP:The coda of the Mission Impossible Theme.)
- The CSWA Hall of Fame in Merritt Auditorium.On top of the roof stand two guys wearing cat burglar outfits.The camera closes in revealing, none other than THE PROFESSIONALS -
'COCKY' CRAIG MILES and 'HOT PROPERTY' EDDIE MAYFIELD.MAYFIELD's cat burglar outfit has been accessorized to resemble a
windbreaker with a hood.Through his
black mask stems a Camel, draping off his lips.MILES' is a little quirkier - for one thing, he's not wearing shoes and
the eye holes on his mask are yellow tinted.A
dangles off of MILES' lips as he and Eddie are prepping some ropes and bungee
MAYFIELD:"Craig, this is low man…"
MAYFIELD:"Draggin' me out at
like this under the mirage of goin' to one of them Eyes Wide Shut orgies.I knew somethin' was up when you told me to bring my Nightcrawler Cat
MILES:"Hey man, it was either that or doin' this myself.(MILES stumbles and almost falls down, kicking some gravel over the
MAYFIELD:"Yeah, prolly a good thing I'm here.No way I wanna find out I have to wrestle the Pink Fairies alone 'cause
my partner can't stand on his own two damn feet."
MILES:"Easy man, be cool."
MAYFIELD:"Its (BLEEP!)'IN 4 AM AND (BLEEP)'IN COLD AS HELL!Don't tell me to be COOL."
MILES:"Listen, I've planned this out.And trust me when its all over, this will be better than any orgy you
coulda been to."
MAYFIELD (with hands on hips):"You just been hangin' out with your woman too much to be talkin'
smack like that!"(MAYFIELD
reaches into his pocket and pulls out two beers, opens one and chugs it)
MILES:"What are you doing?!?This
is serious (BLEEP!) man, I don't want your drunk ass getting itself
killed!"(MAYFIELD tosses the
empty can off the roof)
MAYFIELD: "Listen, Craig -
no offense.I'm HOT PROPERTY EDDIE
MAYFIELD - the innovator of INCOGNITO, the Dirk Diggler of DISGUISES,
MILES:"Alright, I get it, I get it.(MILES
walks over and lifts a window pane off from the roof)Showtime."
(MILES drops down two ropes
through the pane.CUTTO:Inside the Hall of Fame.A
couple of security guards in their mid-60's walking around with flashlights…)
GUARD #1:"Coffee Break?"
GUARD #2 (looking at watch):
"Yeah, it's 20 past 4 - nothing going on here."
(The guards walk on by, in the
background you can barely see two figures sliding down from the roof on ropes.CUTTO:MILES and MAYFIELD
stealthily walking around the
- ducking into corners and behind displays...)
MILES:"Hey, Eddie - I see a no smoking sign over there, so don't light
up…" (MILES turns around to see MAYFIELD with a Marlboro dangling)
MILES:"Ah screw it.(MILES
pulls out a
and lights it up)Alright ready
(CUT TO:Stock footage of two guys in cat burglar suits doing five consecutive
backflips down the hallway and dismounting with a 1 1/4 pike and twist behind a
pillar.CUT TO:MILES and MAYFIELD leaning behind a pillar smoking their cigs as the two
guards walk by.MILES and MAYFIELD
jump out from behind the guards.They
both lock on sleeper holds as the guards flail their arms for about 15 seconds
and drop limp.THE PROS drop them to
the ground and remove their masks off their head…with cigs still dangling from
their lips.They both high-five and
blow out a couple smoke rings…)
MILES:"Man, I don't know how Simply Stunning wear those masks all the
MAYFIELD:"Uh, Craig…those aren't masks."
MILES:"Oh man, no wonder they couldn't even screw Roseanne if she was
(MILES and MAYFIELD walk into a
section titled 'THE CS EXPRESS Shrin'e - shots of Gibson and Morton are all over
the room. MILES and MAYFIELD walk up to two life-sized mannequins of the famous
MILES:"Man, this gives me the heebie jeebies."
MAYFIELD:"I don't know.I think
its great that the CSWA like to commemorate they were the first promotion to
sponsor women's wrestling.I
wouldn't call these two lookers, but…"
MILES:"Eddie - that's the CS Express, dude."
MAYFIELD:"Oh. (long pause) They went through life looking like THAT?"
MILES:"I know, I know.Unbelievable.They got more frills on them than Britney Spears…"
MAYFIELD:"Prolly put a new one on for each sick dude that gave them…"
MILES:"I don't even wanna hear where that was going.I just know it ends with no wonder why Simply Stunning idolizes
them…anyway, I think its time we did what we came here to do."
MAYFIELD:"'Nuff said…let's do this."
(MAYFIELD slams his foot right
into the Gibson Mannequin sending it flying and crashing into another display!MILES grabs a nearby chair and starts swinging violently at the numerous
trophy cases surrounding the room!SFX:
Alarms! Bells!MILES starts ripping
down banners and posters everywhere!MAYFIELD
grabs a can of beer out of his pocket, shakes it, opens it - spraying it
MILES:"Alright, let's go!"
MAYFIELD:"Wait dude - that beer just caught up with me!I gotta whiz!"
MILES:"Are you friggin' kidding me?"(MILES looks around in a panic and grabs the John W. Boozer Tournament
Cup in a hurry and throws it to MAYFIELD)
MAYFIELD:"No way man."
(MAYFIELD runs off-camera, the
next 15 seconds are just liquid streaming sound effects, with MAYFIELD saying
"Oh yeah.."MAYFIELD runs
MAYFIELD:"Alright, let's roll!"
(THE PROS take off through the
emergency exit located in the shrine…FTB)
The ONTIMEtron - "The only way to
do it, is to do it COOL…")
(CUE UP:'VOODOO CHILE' - Ben Harper version.)
(CUT TO:The stage area resembling your local sports bar, sitting at the bar is
'COCKY' CRAIG MILES wearing a grey hooded sweatshirt, frayed jeans, yellow
Oakleys and no shoes!Standing
behind the bar in a Marlboro Red Windbreaker and jeans is 'HOT PROPERTY' EDDIE
MAYFIELD!Both of them pull out a
cigarette and light them up!)
MAYFIELD:"Welcome to the show hotter than your Mom after a Friday Night and
Tequilla - it's the PROFESSIONALS show, I'm the straw stirrin' the drink 'HOT
PROPERTY' EDDIE MAYFIELD…"
MILES:"Not bad, not bad.But
it ain't like bein' the BIG DOG at the poodle park, or bein' like 'COCKY' CRAIG
MILES: "So, Chad Merritt
basically begged, pleaded and finally wheeled out a large sum of money 'cause he
knows his writers didn't have the mental capacity to make sure people would
watch this show.So, he said
CRAIG…EDDIE…I don't know what I'm doing, you two are the PROFESSIONALS on
keepin' it alive, however much you want - just make sure the kids like it."
MAYFIELD:"See, when you're a PROFESSIONAL - you don't need writers, scripts
or a hand in our back 'cause when you're a PROFESSIONAL, anything you DO - IT'S
ALWAYS COOL, brutha.'Cause were the
innovators and dominators of this scene.And
you better believe that tonight 'cause we lined up the guest the chicks with
(BLEEP!) stroke it to…HURRICANE…"
MAYFIELD:"No, Craig.And I don't
think that cat is even paid anymore.(MILES
sulks)Cheer up man, Let's give it
up PROFESSIONAL STYLE for the 'HERO OF THE HICKS'!THE 'CHAMPION OF CHAW!' HURRICANE EDDY LOVE!"
"Trampled Under Foot" by the ON TIME house band.CUTTO:Out walks EDDY LOVE
with a small fire extinguisher in hand!Love
rushes up on the stage, grabs the cigarette of MILES, pulls the lit Camel from
MAYFIELD's lips throwing it on the floor and giving it a short blast from the
extinguisher.MAYFIELD stands slack
jawed for a moment then tries to jump over the bar before MILES puts his arm up,
stopping him.LOVE throws the
extinguisher off-camera and takes the mic from MILES who is still trying to calm
MAYFIELD, so the segment will at least get off the ground.LOVE nods to the two as he begins to speak.MAYFIELD leans back and pulls out a cigarette, puts it in his mouth, but
doesn't light it…MILES does the same…)
stands motionless, LOVE smirks at him) And good morning… (LOVE pulls a note
card out)Ha!Hello Eddie…(LOVE nods approvingly) that name should take you far in
MAYFIELD:"You better do better than that.You're our first guest, Love - the heat you're drawin', we're gonna get
(LOVE chuckles and nods…)
LOVE:"Ok, Ok…now up front let me apologize for dousing your square, my
brother, but even though its not the monumental task it was a few months ago,
Eddy Love don't have the extra three hours to be washing that nasty smoke smell
outta his golden locks.(LOVE
rubs his hair, with a grimace he realizes its not fully grown back in yet) Now I
know you two boys have just gotta be all jacked up that right here on CSWA first
ever ON TIME, the name not the description, you get the rub of pulling the
number uno Nielsen grabber in the history of this illustrious sport, Hurricane
Now let me first give you boys
a little prop,I've seen the
screwjobs you beengetting from
those paper champions Simply Stunning, and boys I know that you two are a much
better team than them.I've talked
it over with Playboys Inc., and if y'all get screwed just one more time, me and
Troy will beat those guys up and take their belts just for you two, because we
know true professionals when we see them"(LOVE smirks when all of a sudden, both MILES and MAYFIELD light up their
cigarettes and blow smoke right in LOVE's face, making him cough.MILES takes the mic from MAYFIELD…)
MILES:"Don't get me wrong, Eddy.We
like your comedic stylings.In fact,
you're right on par with names like Bob Saget, Dave Coulier and John Stamos.But in no way are YOU (points at LOVE) a PROFESSIONAL.Now in the spirit of our recent tragedies here, me and Eddie (MAYFIELD
nods in approval) want to keep this as peaceful as we can.As far as I can tell, you shouldn't need to feel the need to ONE-up us
tonight.When your gimp of a partner
comes back, you can talk 'till all the cows come home - only problem I know the
cows are scared of a Carolina boy like yourself, with all 'dem purty feelings
you get…oh, I'm sorry I got lost…what was I trying to say?You get off our backs, we'll get off your Mom.Yeah, that's it…"(LOVE
leers at MILES for a sec, shakes his head and continues as the PROS take a drag
off their cigs and blow the smoke upwards this time…)
LOVE:"Alright, I got 'ya Craig.I'll
play it (quotes the air) COOL like you.(LOVE
rolls his eyes) But enough about semi-pro wrestling lets talk about the Southern
Dandy, Playboys Inc. and all that makes the wrestling world go round.Now we've all seen Eddy Love dominating every phase of the CSWA,we've seen me batter Hornet and Randalls over the last months.. We saw me
allow GUMMS the flappingest mouth in the world get his foot back in the door by
forcing that door open with the strongest influence in the world.We saw me drop Eli Flair on his head repeatedly, in
, just to teach him he doesn't lay his hands on any of Playboys I-N-C and we've
seen that Joey Meltonhas returned from
the dead to call Eddy Love's name.
Now as much as I know you two
(points to the PROS) would LOVE to interview me about these three men, and I
have heard you mentioned in the same breath with Jack Arute…(LOVE chuckles)
I'm gonna do you one better. I'm gonna have Sweet Melissa (crowd pops!) bring
these three superstars out and do you the favor of having Eddy Love, the Bob
Caudle of the 21st century interview them right here live on the CS Express own
show.Come on out guys!"
(LOVE puts on Cauldesque
glasses!CUTTO:From behind the curtain walks SWEET MELISSA followed by JJ DEVILLE who is
wearing a gray wig with a pony tail and a T-shirt that reads
shakily depending heavily on a walking cane.A midget with long sleeve T-shirt, the forearms stuffed to Popeye
proportions and the biceps stuffed to Billy Graham in his prime size.This Midget has on a T-shirt that reads "Strongest Smell in The
World". Finally dressed in a
"King of Extreme" T-shirt walks a green-haired midget with a neck
brace wincing in pain.CUTTO:THE PROS even smirking at the development.)
LOVE:"(straightens his glasses) First let me ask you, Joey Melton, it
appears you have a dislike for God's country, the great state of
.What is the history there?"
DEVILLE:"Well as you know Eddy I've been dominating the CSWA since the late
1930s and I've made several trips through the state for various cards.Early on a man expressed his thoughts on me and my fellow New Yorkers and
I didn't care for the comparison."
LOVE:"And that comparison was?"
DEVILLE:"The man said that New Yorkers were like hemorrhoids… if they come
down and go back up its no problem, but if they come down and stay down they're
a pain in the ass."
LOVE:"I see, that would sorta make you feel unwelcome.How bout you Gumms,what
would you like to say right here on the show?"
GUNS MIDGET:"Have I mentioned I am the straw that stirs the drink, The biggest
mouth in the world, that when you're as short on talent as me anything you do
seems like you do it in a big way. That I am the toothpick that churns the
butter here in the CSWA."
bout you Eli,any comments on recent
LITTLE FLAIR:"Well Eddy my recent victory over your partner just goes to show if
at first you don't succeed try, try again.Troy
Windham must have beaten me up 200 times over the last 8 years, but now I've
beaten him, and I hope this is the only one people remember.As for you and Melissa, I just want to thank you for the physical lashing
you've given has returned my faith, my focus, my self worth.By actually beating Troy Windham one out of two hundred and one times had
left me over estimating my self worth and underestimating the need for the world
to know that I'm really a bit timorous in this business, and that despite the
fact I've fallen on top of a few guys for a three count I'm not very
LOVE:Well Mills and Mayflower.. There you have it straight from the collective
horses mouths. Now--"
(SFX: Stirring in the crowd
that distracts Eddy and company - some form of pop is building. Eddy and JJ, the
Professionals, and Melissa all look in its general direction - and each react
with an alternating facade of disbelief and amazement.......
(CUT TO: ELI FLAIR, THE REAL
ELI FLAIR is making his way through the crowd! He's dressed in a sleeveless EDDY
LOVE "LEGEND KILLER" T-Shirt, faded blue jeans cut off below the
knees, and VANs. His hair is jet black with a single streak of blue on the left
side, pulled back in a ponytail. He has a bandage on his forehead, dark
sunglasses that almost cover stitches below his left eye, and several discolored
splotches on his face.)
MAYFIELD:"Look, Loverboy - it's one of your fans!Special moments like these brought to you by THE PROFESSIONALS!"(LOVE shoots a leer at MAYFIELD, with a little sign of panic on his
(FLAIR's left arm is bandaged
to the 9's, His right, is fairly clean, but there is two separate sets of
stitches visible - one on his forearm and one on his bicep. His knees are both
heavily wrapped - there's a well- defined limp in his step. Surprisingly, he's
not wearing any kind of neck brace.FLAIR
eases himself over the guardrail and slowly makes his way up the ringsteps.
DEVILLE gets in his way, but FLAIR slowly and deliberately grabs him by the
shirt with his less- damaged arm and pushes JJ aside, snatching the microphone
out of his hand as he does so. The crowd continues to cheer - but it's more of a
simple round of applause in memory of what FLAIR and TROY WINDHAM both showed
them at ANNIVERSARY.)
FLAIR: "Legend Killer,
(LOVE looks at him
questioningly, as he nonchalantly keeps himself in between Eli and Melissa.)
FLAIR: "I'd say I've
earned the moniker as well as anyone else you've taken out in the past four
years.... but you haven't quite killed me yet. What's stopping you? Mark
Payne? I don't see either of them here, now. So c'mon, Eddy.... take your best
shot. I can't stop you."
(FLAIR removes his glasses and
steps right in front of Eddy. Both his eyes are bloodshot, and both are bruised
and discolored around them!)
FLAIR: "There's no
Claimstakers anymore, Eddy. Hornet isn't coming to my rescue. Mike Randalls
isn't coming to my rescue. Poison Ivy isn't coming to my rescue. I'm all alone,
Eddy.... finish the job. FINISH THE JOB!"
(FLAIR spits at Eddy's feet,
blood mixed with the saliva.)
FLAIR: "You'd better do it
now, Eddy, because you've kicked off something that can no longer be stopped.
You've kicked off something.... that you might live to regret."
(He glances at MELISSA for a
FLAIR: "One of you might,
(MELISSA tries to get around
LOVE but he holds her back, interested in what FLAIR is about to say.)
FLAIR: "Y'see, Eddy....
about a year ago I drew first blood between us when I went for you at your
weakest spot and splintered a table with Sweet Melissa's body. You both
retaliated at ANNIVERSARY when you went for me at my own weakest spot, following
that bloodbath of a match with
. That made me realize something, Eddy.... you and I? We're exactly the same.
We're both willing to do whatever it takes to get to our opponent.... when
they're at their weakest. I pushed the limits, Eddy.... and you two shattered 'em.
We both know that there's nothing we won't do. No depth we won't sink to.So, y'see, Eddy.... if you don't finish me off now.... you'll forever
have to keep an eye outside the ring to make sure Melissa is.... 'safe.'"
(CLOSE UP: FLAIR's face on the
left, LOVE's face on the right, and the microphone in between them.In the background, the PROS are yukking it up!)
FLAIR: "It's funny,
Eddy.... it was a matter of sheer luck that you didn't cripple me at
ANNIVERSARY.... where you're sore, I'm shredded. Where you have aches, I have
stitches. Where you took asprin.... I took morphine....and I can still see the
fear in your eyes."
(LOVE nails a right cross right
across FLAIR's face sending him staggering back!The mic flies out of FLAIR's hands!MILES
runs over and picks it up!)
MILES:"THIS IS GREAT!CAN
ANYONE SAY KA-CHING for US?Talk
about a show!"
MAYFIELD:"OH!Flair strikes back
with a left to the jaw!"
MILES:"We're callin' this?"
MAYFIELD:'"Why the hell not?We're
MILES:"You know when you're right, you're right…and you're right!OH!Love with a kick to the
gut and he's trying to rip that shirt off of Flair!"
MAYFIELD:"Either he's picky about his fans, or Love sure likes to check out
other guys' pecs!"
MILES:"And Flair just tackles him to the ground!He's all over him like
and the smack back in '93!Flair
pounding him with lefts and rights!(crowd
starts getting into it!)Uh'oh!Flair just grabbed one of our barstools…"
MAYFIELD:"HE'S HARDCORE! HE'S HARDCORE!(SFX:
WOOD SHATTERING!)YYYYYEAAAAHHH!I LOVE THIS SPORT!Too bad he
missed!Love is a lot more nimble
than most southern hicks…"
MILES:"And Eddy dives right into Eli's knees!Eli just went down like he's shot!Get
up 'ya wuss!I don't care if both
ACLs are torn!Oh man, he's stomping
on him like he went to the
!Wait, Sweet Melissa just gave Eddy
a barstool!(SFX: WOOD SHATTERING!)
MILES:'That hit the mark!Right on
the knee again!Flair trying to pull
himself up, but he can't!Alright
this is getting out of hand…are we supposed to do something?"
(MILES looks at MAYFIELD who
shrugs.LOVE picks up FLAIR and
DDT's him on the floor!MELISSA
starts screaming at LOVE to do more!LOVE
is taken aback a little, but obliges…LOVE reels in FLAIR, setting him up for
the HURRICANE PILEDRIVER!All of a
sudden, MILES and MAYFIELD jump on the scene and push EDDY off of FLAIR!MELISSA lunges at MILES trying to tear his eyes out!LOVE pulls her off gives the PROS a look-over, smirks, turns around and
walks with one arm raised and one arm around MELISSA.)
MILES:"Well, that's all folks.Once
again, everyone had too much fun until the barstools got smashed…can we get
some janitors out here?"
(CUT TO:Commercial, as people help FLAIR to his feet…)
(The scene opens inside the café where Mitch and his
friends have pulled over at. The diner is loud with lots of people talking and
laughing. Mitch and his friends walk over to the counter and take their order.)
MP: Errr, we’ll have five Hungry Man breakfasts.
WAITRESS: Coming up!
(A young man gets to his feet.)
YOUNG MAN: YA CAN’T SERVE THEM, LOOK AT THEM, HELLS
ANGELS! WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE WALTZING IN HERE?!
(The waitress walks into the kitchen.)
MP: We done anythin’ wrong?
YOUNG MAN: Errr no, but –
MP: Then I suggest yer keep yer comments to yerself. You
YOUNG MAN: You talking to me?!
MP: Yeah. Yer want me to smash yer lights out?!
BOMBER: C’mon Mitch. Let’s get outta here!
YOUNG MAN: YEAH! GET ON YOUR (bleep) JUNK AND GET THE HELL
OUT OF HERE!
BOMBER: What the (bleep) did you say man?!
YOUNG MAN: I said –
BOMBER: I know what ya (bleep) said! My bike is no piece
of (bleep) junk. You hear me?!
(Bomber walks over to the young man and starts twisting
BOMBER: You hear me?
YOUNG MAN: AAAAARRRRGHHHH! OWWWWWWWW!
BOMBER: It’s a free country, little man. We can do what
we want. We aren’t doing anything wrong. All we came for was a bite to eat, we
didn’t come here lookin’ for trouble, lookin’ for a fight. But, ya might
just get one if ya not careful. So. Ya gonna let us have somethin’ to eat?
YOUNG MAN: YESSSSS! OWWWWWWW!
BOMBER: Good. Good.
(Bomber walks back over to the counter.)
BOMBER: C’MON LADY, WHERE’S OUR FOOD?!
Hiroshi vs. Carl Brigsby
Kin Hiroshi came out to a
surprisingly huge crowd response, showing that there are “X-Treme” fans
within the CSWA crowd, and Hiroshi lived up to this noise.Running through Brigsby with a fast paced, high impact arsenal of
suplexes, martial arts kicks and top rope maneuvers, the Japanese American
dazzled the crowd.Brigsby came back
with some veteran maneuvers and cheap shots, but there was never any doubt that
Hiroshi had Carl’s number.The
owner of Hiroshi-Berry Muffin Company went to the top for his variation of a
frog splash called the Hiroshi-ma bomb and hooked the leg for a debut victory.
BYB:Rudy, there’s a lot of new
talent that we’ll be showcasing on CSWA programming for hopefully a long time
to come… they might be new to the CSWA, but the fans may recognize these names
from elsewhere, and let me be the first to say that I’m excited at this wave
of international talent, from the Machine to Kin Hiroshi, and also Nate Logan
who’s apparently been sighted in the arena… Let’s not forget“Lone Walker” Paul Michaels, who is set to wrestle later here
tonight, as well as “Fearless” Jones and right here, a man who had an
impressive Pay Per View debut at ANNIVERSARY 2001, Lance Liezure.
(CUE UP: "Feel So
Numb" by Rob Zombie – surprising to Lance, a fairly large response from
the crowd ensues.Lance Liezure
steps out from behind the curtain carrying each half of his old board in each
BYB: Lance Liezure was
extremely impressive in his assault of JJ Deville at ANNIVERSARY, but Nate
RS:A GXW reject…
BYB:Entered the ring and took care of him from behind.
(Lance calmly walks down the aisle
then rolls into the ring. He grabs a mic)
Lance: So.... Nate Logan tells
us here at the CSWA that WE don't know hardcore. (Crowd Boos) He tells us that
we don't know what the meaning of a street fight is. (Crowd boos more) Well,
that sounds like there's about 15,000 plus here that disagree with your outlook
on it.Did you see Love and Flair a
minute ago, or Flair and
?At ANNIVERSARY I showed that wimp
JJ Deville what happens when you mess with Lance Liezure. I THRASHED him all
around that ring. Now granted that JJ didn't stand much of a chance in the first
place, I tried to give these great fans the show they deserved and give them a
great street fight like they deserved, but Nate you just had to stick your nose
in it. Now you say that you don't have anything against me and that you don't
hate me but you just hate what I stand for. Well, Nate... I HAVE SOMETHING
AGAINST YOU! You came out here and embarrassed me in front off all my fans! And
that is something...you just.....don't......do......
So, Nate, I'm calling you out
right here and right now. So I can show you what hardcore TRULY is and give you
the THRASHING of a lifetime!
(CUE UP: 'Zero' by the Smashing
Pumpkins. Nate Logan runs down the aisle and slides into the ring, getting in
Lance's face. He snatches the mic out of Liezure's hands.)
NL:You know nothing… NOTHING… of “X-Treme”.I haven’t yet begun to show YOU… or the rest of the CSWA, exactly
what “X-Treme” is…
turns around and begins to head away.)
BYB: Well it looks like Nate is
leaving. He turned his back to Lance and is started to head out of here.
RS: NO! Nate just laid Liezure
out with a huge right hand! He swung around and caught him right in the jaw, and
now Nate stands over Lance and holds his head as he pounds on it.
BYB:What a cowardly way to attack Liezure, but it’s definitely a sign that
the CSWA had better watch ot for the likes of
RS: Nate picks up Lance and
whips him off of the ropes but Lance puts on the brakes and rolls outside of the
ring.He’s got to collect himself
and it looks to have been a good idea by Lance, but wait...Nate is following!
Nate grabs Lance and whips him into the steel steps. NO! Lance with a reversal
and slings Nate into the cold steel! Lance grabs Nate by the head and slams it
into the ring then rolls him into it.
BYB: I think Lance is about to
show Nate he's already had that hardcore course. Lance just grabbed a steel
chair and slid it into the ring. But Nate is able to stand up and get it just as
Lance is stepping into the ring. Nate swings! NO! Lance rolls out of the way!
Kick to the gut and Nate drops the chair and Lance delivers that Rocker Dropper
which he calls the Liezure Suite RIGHT ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR! And it looks as if
is OUT! And Lance is standing over him talking trash.
(CUE UP: "Feel So
Numb" by Rob Zombie as Lance rolls out of the ring, leaving Nate Logan laid
out in the center of the ring.
is standing up with a look of anger on his face as the screen cuts to
commercial for the replay of ANNIVERSARY 2001.)
(The scene opens in the diner. The Hells Angels have
finally been served and they sit at a table next to a window looking out on to
the parking lot and their bikes. Mitch is just about to take a bite from his
sausage when he can hear a loud rumbling sound.)
MP: What the hell is that?
(Mitch and his friends look out the window and a big
Monster Truck comes into view, it drives slowly and stops near the bikes. It
starts to move again – but over the bikes.)
MP: HOLY (bleep)! (A long string of bleeped-out words
continues for a few seconds before fading away.)
” Paul Michaels
vs. “Winless” Wesley Paige
Dressed in a t-shirt and blue
jeans, Paul Michaels did not look like something to be taken seriously when he
entered the ring, and the fans gave that sort of reaction. But by the end of the
bout, the crowd was fired up for “Lone Walker”.Using his agility and speed to bring submission maneuvers out of
seemingly thin air, he began to win the crowd over with his calm attitude and
“tall man” vibe.Wes Paige came
out with a series of maneuvers that also surprised the crowd, setting Michaels
off.His attitude was the calm
before a storm, and when Winless struck back, the storm was unleashed, with
Michaels pummeling Paige into the corner, then dropping him with an inside
toehold and applying the Indian Deathlock, making Wesley Paige quickly tap out.
” Paul Michaels
RS:Folks, when we come back from
the break, we’re going to have words from a man who we may never again see
wrestle… don’t flip that dial, next up we’ve got a big tag team match!
(CUTTO: A CSWA Commercial)
You want to be like the King
of Cool?Of course you do… but we
can’t all be Mr. Love’s assistant.Fortunately
for you, the home viewer… IF THAT IS INDEED YOUR REAL NAME!… the KING OF
COOL t-shirt is available at CSWAwrestling.com!
(JJ Deville steps out, doing
his gyrations and showing off the shirt, which reads “Avoid The Noid” on the
front and “KING OF COOL… It Is Indeed My Real Name” on the back)
of Adventure vs. Raw Deal
The Men Of Adventure’s bellows of
vulgarities delighted a CSWA crowd that seems to be torn between the storied
tradition of yesteryear and the growing legacy of today’s competitors.They took to Raw Deal with a long series of powerhouse moves, and drawing
a huge crowd response from the “ATOMIC RIGHT HAND.”The Mills brothers quickly fought back though, with more traditional
holds, including a wide array of suplex abilities and finally turning the tide
with a leaping spine buster to a decidedly heel crowd reaction.WJ took care of “Iron” John after a failed “
” finisher by the Men of Adventure, and RJ took the opportunity to get the
pinfall with a surprising display of power in executing a gut wrench powerbomb
on “Big Tom” Remus.
BYB:Rudy, PRIMETIME in
looks like it could be a pay-per-view caliber event and it’s right here on
our network broadcasting partner, NCN. Wicked Sight gets a shot at Evan
Aho and the CSWA World Championship. "Good God" Kevin Powers
gives his retirement speech… who knows what could happen there?
RS:Also, we saw GUNS earlier, who knows if he’ll have any repercussions
for Wicked Sight who gave GUNS a warning earlier… and GUNS looks to be
involved in a bout with Mark Windham who also came back at ANNIVERSARY, as well
as Eddy Love and Mike Randalls… there’s a LOT of bad blood in San Diego
folks, you don’t want to miss a minute of CSWA television these days.
BYB:And after the break, here on the premier episode of ON TIME, we’ve got
Greensboro GOLD on the line when Shane Southern defends against Cameron Cruise!
(CUT TO:Backstage.Preparing to leave
the arena, Wicked Sight is picking his leather jacket up off a counter top and
putting it under his arm alongside a small suitcase when Sammy Benson catches up
WS:Sammy… what do you want?
SB:Plett, nothing made me happier than to see you go out there and smart off
to GUNS!You’re a dead man!
WS:I’m in a damn good mood, Sammy, but you’re just BEGGING me to call
Rose and have her send the tar and feathers to San Diego… you wouldn’t want
to do color looking like Foghorn Leghorn again, would’ya?
SB:Shut up!My question to you
is this, Plett… why do you keep smarting off to everybody?Eddy Love… GUNS… you got a death-wish?
WS:When Aho won the World Title, this place changed.The atmosphere, the mood… the whole game changed, Sammy.But after ANNIVERSARY, with everything that happened… something’s not
right. I can’t put my finger on
it, Sammy, but I’m not the only one that feels it.It feels like there’s so many new opportunities, but something’s
trying to snatch it all away, like there’s a force pumping life into us and
there’s another force choking us out.I
don’t know if it’s the threat of GUNS, or the fact that we sat in the back
watching two men we’ve wrestled come within moments of killing each other –
literally, no “work”…
might not ever fight again.I
don’t know what it is, but I… I feel like a lot of us are slowly being
backed up against a wall.You can
feel it in the air, Sammy, when you walk through the locker room… it’s like
something big is always about to strike and it’s got the potential to lift us
all up to the stars or sink us all straight to Hell.Well… me going out there and taking care of my own business, and doing
my best to help the others back here that feel the same way but don’t have the
nerve to speak out… If no one else wants to step up to the plate and take care
of business, then by damn I will.And
, I’m going to take that personal responsibility and make it an official job,
…I become the CSWA;s Heavyweight Champion of the world… And the loyal,
dedicated fans of the CSWA – the greatest company in the world – are going
to be reminded of the fact that the FREAKS really do… run the pageantry.Take care of yourself, Sammy…
(Sight makes his way toward the
outside area as we cut back to the ring for
Southern vs. Cameron Cruise
(joined in progress)
BYB:And now, Cruise whips Southern back into the corner, the
Champion as taken a lot of punishment thus far, from a man who is as bitter as
they come in Cameron Cruise.He
still hasn’t gotten over his problems from ANNIVERSARY 2000, let alone 2001!
RS:Indeed he is an angry man, but it seems to be paying off right here.Cruise with a knife edged chop, and now he shoots Southern to the ropes
and follows in with a twisting elbow, he quickly makes the cover, but there’s
a kickout from Shane Southern.
BYB:Now Cruise lifts Southern back up, and he fires a right hand, but
Southern is blocking it, he blocks another, and now he fires off two of his own,
an Irish whip to the ropes and there’s Southern with a back body drop.
Cruise right back up and goes for a dropkick, but Southern swats him down like a
fly!He goes for the cover but
Cruise kicks out at one, these two men have a lot of fight in them.
They’re driven by different factors, but that’s the beauty of the CSWA…
these men all have different reasons, but they can all get the job done when the
time calls for it.
RS:You sound so much like your father…
BYB:Why’d you have to go and say that?I ought to get my name changed, I can’t just be known as Billy Buckley,
you have to refer to me as the “son of…”
BYB:Excuse me.Back to action,
Cruise and Southern are battling it out, Shane certainly knows how to dish out
punishment… and now with a whip to the corner,
follows in with a clothesline, and a running bulldog on Cameron Cruise!He’s hooking the leg of Cruise, and Juarez makes the count, but only two for the Greensboro Champion…
RS:Shane looks like he’s setting up for something now, Billy, Cruise gets
to his feet and Southern scoops him up for the ride, but Cruise wiggles free and
sends Southern in chest first, Southern stumbles backward into a school boy
rollup, and Cameron Cruise gets a two count, but Southern is back up, and swings
a clothesline but Cruise ducks it… LOW BLOW BY CAMERON CRUISE, A BLATANT LOW
BLOW AND MANNY JUAREZ CALLS FOR THE BELL!JUAREZ JUST DISQUALIFIED CAMERON CRUISE AND RIGHTFULLY SO!
BYB:Cruise isn’t happy, Rudy… Southern’s crumpled over, but look at
Cruise, he disagrees with the call and THAT’S NOT RIGHT, CRUISE JUST LEVELED
RS:And he’s getting a steel chair… he wonders why the world’s against
him, he’s so bitter about his misfortunes and then he blows a shot at
Greensboro gold by doing something like this…
HE JUST LEVELED SHANE SOUTHERN!Cruise is leaving now, and he looks almost proud of what he just did…
RS:I don’t think these two have seen the last of each other…
Winner:Shane Southern (by DQ)
BYB:And we’re going straight from that into our main event, Rudy… right
after this break, we’ve got Presidential gold on the line…
RS:Triple X takes on Tom Adler, don’t flip that dial!
X” Sean Stevens vs. Tom Adler
Considerably younger and
fresher than Tom Adler, Triple X came out to a large face reaction.But take nothing away from Tom Adler, the crafty former champion came
into the bout with a game plan in mind and took it straight to the heart of the
Presidential champion, keeping him grounded for much of the contest.Triple X fought back with a series of kicks, freeing up space and giving
him room to ht some aerial maneuvers, including a somersault splash from the
middle rope that got him a two count.Adler
clearly had a sour taste in his mouth from the six-man at ANNIVERSARY, and
although Poison Ivy was not at ringside, Adler continued to look over his
shoulder, and both commentators presumed he had backup waiting just in case
someone did attack.
X barely avoided the MasterLock, keeping close to ropes as Adler took the upper
hand. In the end, XXXstasy was able to get back on his feet, and though he
didn't command the match... he got one shot in at the right time, catching Adler
with the XXXFactor superkick. The match would have continued, had referee
Manuel Juarez realized that Adler has his foot on the bottom rope to break the
pinfall. Instead, Trip retains the Presidential Title by pinfall.
RS:What an ON TIME debut!For
Billy Buckley, this is Rudy Seitzer, good night and we’ll see you LIVE from
San Diego for CSWA PRIMETIME!
ByB: And don't miss ON
TIME in Anaheim in ten days!