| CSWA PRIMETIME in Tacoma |
October 6, 2001 | ||||
|
(The screen fades
from black to an unusual opening for CSWA PRIMETIME. CSWA Owner Chad
Merritt is seated in a chair in front of a black backdrop, looking
straight at the camera. The lighting is low, and no CSWA logos are
evident. As he begins to speak, the black backdrop gives way to a
waving flag.) CM: It's
been almost a month since everything changed. Almost four weeks
since a group of suicidal maniacs decided to murder innocent citizens from
over 40 countries. It's been twenty-six days... but
And when the smoke
began to clear, and the tears of the moment were wiped away, we found
reasons to hope. Tales of heroes that helped crash a plane into the
ground rather than into another building. Heroes pulled from
wreckage by other heroes working non-stop through the days and nights
following. Leaders who stepped up and proved what leadership is
about. As others, many
more prolific than myself, have said, we were knocked down, but not
out. We were bowed, but far from broken. We were bloodied and
bruised, but never beaten. Our attackers have
found out that we are willing to fight for our freedom. That the
lyrics "the land of the free and the home of the brave" are more than just
wistful strains, they're a true representation of the best of what we call
("God Bless
Merritt:
Fans, thanks for joining us here on CSWA PRIMETIME. It's a historic
event for us... our first broadcast on a brand new channel. As most
of you know, our longstanding relationship with U-62 ended when they were
sold, and their new ownership decided to change the successful channel
into an all-news format. Unfortunately, this came at the same time
as our contract was due to renew with U-62. We are so pleased to
start our new relationship with NCN with tonight's PRIMETIME. We
hope that those of you watching will be sure to let any of your friends
who may have been living under a rock know that they need to change the
channel. Without any further adieu from yours truly, let's get to
the taped action from (CUTTO: BILL
BUCKLEY and SAMMY BENSON, at ringside. The Tacoma-Dome crowd is behind
them, predictably vocal, holding signs.) BB: Fans,
we’re here in a raucous TacomaDome here in the SB: Where you can’t get ANY beer here, except for some
expensive and poor quality microbrews made by some hippies! BB: And with that
statement, I already have to read the qualifying statement-- as usual, the
CSWA nor Bill Buckley endorses or agrees with the comments from the lush
sitting next to me. SB: Hey! I resemble
that remark! BB: And with that,
let’s go to ringside-- (CUTTO: The ring.
Inside the ring is CSWA Commissioner CHAD MERRITT-- in his conservative
power-suit, standing behind a table with two gold belts on them. Merritt
has a house mic, taps twice, and begins to speak.) MERRITT: Thank you
for the warm, Now, if there was EVER a stipulation I’d like to overturn,
it would be that one, because Tsunami and WildStar just might be the best
tag team we’ve ever had here in the CSWA! (The crowd starts to applaud and
make noise.) So without further ado... (CUE UP: The moog/guitar opening to
"Tom Sawyer" by Rush. The crowd gets up. CUT TO: A sign that reads "The
New Day Has Dawned!") here are Tsunami and WildStar.... THE FOREIGN
EXCHANGE!
(Tsunami and WildStar-- clad, as usual, in their wrestling
gear-- run from the back, posing under the giant video screen that is now
showcasing various highlights of past matches. They run down, pointing at
the fans.) BB: And here they
are, for the last time ever. Tsunami and WildStar, a tag team that not
only won titles here in the CSWA, but a tag team that helped bring
fast-paced and high-flying action to
SB: And, not to
mention, Teri Melton! MERRITT: Tsunami, WildStar. I don’t
know what to say to you, other than to thank you for all you’ve done and
to congratulate you on your successes. And, on behalf of the entire CSWA,
I’d like to personally present you two with these tokens of our
appreciation. (Merritt holds up the honorary titles.) These are
yours forever...
(Tsunami and WildStar grab the titles and hold them up to
the applause of the crowd. WildStar puts the title on his shoulder and
grabs the mic.) STAR: Thank you,
Mr. Merritt. The CSWA has always been our home and it’s always treated us
great. It’s the best league in the history of this sport... and the reason
why it’s so great is because of (turns and points to all sides of the
arena) all of you, the fans! (The crowd starts to applause. CUEUP: "Let Me Entertain You"
by Robbie Williams. The crowd goes BALLISTIC when they hear the music.
Michael Hardy and Simon Wilcox come out, under the video-wall that is
showcasing highlights of THEIR moves. Hardy is holding a mic, waiting for
the crowd to die down. Both are still in street clothes and are holding
the CSWA World Tag Team Titles.) STAR: No, thank
you. Because I believe that the CSWA is in good hands because the tag
division is now officially the house that Simply Stunning built! (With
that, Simply Stunning wave goodbye. CLOSEUP: WildStar, a little
misty-eyed.) Well, fans... I guess this is it. For the last time, Tsunami
and WildStar, in a CSWA Wrestling Ring. I never thought it would— (CUE UP: "Cherub Rock" by Smashing Pumpkins. WildStar has a
befuddled appearance, not recognizing the theme music. CUT TO: "The Lord
of the Cyberverse" Jimmy Valienti-- backwards hat, cellphone, rumpled
suit-- walks, with a mic. Behind him are two guys in black masks wearing
T-Shirts that read NEW SUICIDE SQUAD on them in block letters.) JIMMY: You know,
when you HAVE a party, you should make sure you send out invitations...
(snidely) WILDSTAR. (The crowd boos. Jimmy, now on the ring steps, turns
to them.) Shut up. Now. When you HAVE a party, you should make sure you
send out an invitation to (climbing through the ropes followed by his two
masked men.) the man who MADE you. To the man who INVENTED hardcore. To
the man who is RESPONSIBLE for your career. STAR: Hold it right
there, Jimmy. I don’t know why you’re here, but this is for me and
Tsunami. There’s no need for this... if you want to talk semantics, do it
on your own time. Because frankly, I-- and NONE of these people (The crowd
cheers) care. JIMMY: Oh, like I
care what YOU think or what these people think! You see, WildStar, I came
here tonight for a reason. It was only five years ago when I brought YOUR
partner (points to Tsunami, who is looking at Jimmy with a quizzical
gaze.) from STAR: Yeah, so
what’s your point? JIMMY: My point is,
WildStar, I brought in a group called THE SUICIDE SQUAD that became *THE*
dominant force in this industry. And tonight, tonight I plan on debuting
the NEW Suicide Squad right here. And just like five years ago, no one is
safe in our path! STAR: (Looking at
the masked men, whose arms are folded.) I take it these two are your
clients, huh? Well, Jimmy, good luck. If me and Tsunami weren’t broken up,
we’d tear these two apart right now! (The crowd is cheering.) JIMMY: Oh, you
think? You think? Well, Star, you’re wrong...
JIMMY: (nervous)
Yeah-- because there is no Suicide Squad without a Posterboy! BB: OH NO! OH NO!
TSUNAMI JUST KICKED WILDSTAR IN BEHIND WITH ONE OF THOSE LETHAL SAVATE
KICKS! TSUNAMI IS KICKING WILDSTAR IN HIS HEAD! AND THE TWO MASKED MEN ARE
STOMPING! SB: HA! This is
great stuff. I was getting all sad listening to all this. Leave it to
Jimmy! What a genius! BB: One masked man
has WildStar from behind. The other is on the ring apron-- SPRINGBOARD
DROPKICK! INTO A GERMAN SUPLEX! WILDSTAR LANDED RIGHT ON HIS NECK! AND
TSUNAMI IS SETTING UP THAT TABLE! HE IS TELLING THE TWO MASKED MEN TO PUT
HIM ON IT! BB: Tsunami is on
the top-- SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO HIS FORMER PARTNER THROUGH THE TABLE!
OH MY LORD! WILDSTAR IS OUT! WILDSTAR IS OUT! AND NOW TSUNAMI IS LAYING
THE TAG TITLES ON HIS FORMER PARTNER! HE JUST SPIT ON WILDSTAR! SB: And the legacy
of their partnership! JIMMY: You all
think I’m kidding? You all think I’m joking? I’m not. BECAUSE TONIGHT
MARKS THE BEGINNING OF AN ERA... The New Suicide Squad! With The Posterboy
of Hardcore, Tsunami... (the one masked man takes off his mask) The
Warhorse Kid, Johnny Lang... (and the second follows) and the Greensboro
Champ, and the future of wrestling, Evan Aho! There is NO ONE who can stop
us! NO ONE! (All four continue to stomp on the beaten WildStar.) BB: This is
ridiculous! Evan Aho! Johnny Lang! Tsunami! BB: We need someone
out here to clean up this carnage... NOW! (FTB)
(CUTTO: The large
video-wall. The screen is black, and then on it (with matching sound
effects) is the strike of a match. The match strikes a cigarette being
puffed by a pouty pair of red lips, which then emit smoke spelling out the
words "THE PROFESSIONALS." The crowd busts out a large amount of cheers at
first, which is,curiously, immediately followed by boooooos. CUE UP: The
white noise of "Voodoo Chille" by Ben Harper. The Professionals are under
the videowall, both wearing black "nothing fancy" trunks, smoking cigs,
eyeing up the crowd with a "Who gives a f---" slant. They start to walk
down the ring, cooler than cool.) BB: Will you sit down? SB: (on his feet,
applauding) No way. These guys are COOL, Buckley. That’s rule number one.
Do it cool. Like me. BB: Cool? You?
Buckley, you dress like JJ DeVille! (Sammy tries to
give Eddie a "Dawg Pound" hand bang thing. Eddie just ignores him, puffing
away on a smoke, and Sammy tries to play it off like he’s messing with his
hair. The sound rattles as Eddie puts on a headset, puffing away, flicking
his ashes in Benson’s drink. Eddie puts his feet up on the desk.) BB: Uhm, Eddie--
don’t you have, you know, a tag team match? MAYFIELD: Listen
here, and listen good, you minimum wage mic-jockey. Right now, you’re
sitting in the presence of professional wrestling’s Hottest Property. I
can make people tap out JUST BY CUTTING PROMOS ALONE. I don’t know who
these dorks are who we’re facing, and I don’t really care, Scooter Pie. My
man Craig Miles, Cocky Craig himself, he’s more than able to take these
two no-names apart. BB: Simply Stunning
are NOT no-names, Eddie. They’re our tag team champions-- and they’re well
on their way to being an all-time team. MAYFIELD: All-time
team? All-time team? Heh. (Exhales into the mic.) Well, Tom Adler’s an
all-time wrestler. And guess what? He ain’t ever showing up here again
after we ran him out. And these two little dudes are gonna be a footnote,
because tonight begins the new era of wrestling history-- The Era of the
Professional. SB: Tell
‘em-- MAYFIELD: And you,
you Bobby The Brain retread, shut up. You wanna get on the bandwagon?
Tough. The Professionals are in the DRIVING SEAT of pro wrestling, and we
don’t have room for any tagalongs like you! (CUE UP: "Let Me
Entertain You" by Robbie Williams. CUT TO: The video wall has the words
"WE FLY WITHOUT CARE," interspersed with highlights of Simply Stunning in
action. Simon and Michael appear under the ring, holding their titles,
both holding them above their heads as the crowd goes nuts.) MAYFIELD: THESE are
the champs? We’re facing THESE guys? Oh man. I could sh(BLEEEEP) out more
respectable tag champs! BB: And here they
are, our tag team champs from across the pond in
MAYFIELD: These guys are British? (Mayfield laughs
uncontrollably.) Yo, I had no idea! Oh man, why’d I even show up for
this? SB: You and Miles
should just be HANDED the titles. MAYFIELD: Didn’t I
tell you to shut up? SB: You’re right,
Sir. BB: Miles is
starting with Simon Wilcox, the smaller but faster of the duo. I think
that’s good strategy... the younger Wilcox might tire the veteran Miles
out! MAYFIELD: Did you
just smoke some crackrock? No one has the upper hand on Cocky Craig Miles
or Hot Property in anything. We’re Professionals, and everyone else is a
bunch of amateurs! BB: Miles has
Wilcox in a headlock, grabbing a little bit of hair in the process-- SB: I didn’t see
that! BB: Wilcox whips
Miles into the ropes, drops down, Miles off the other set, Wilcox up and
meets Craig Miles with an elbow to the face. And now he grabs Miles--
SPINNING NECKBREAKER! Cover! 1...2...NO! MAYFIELD: Did you
see that punk grab Craig’s trunks like that? MAYFIELD: Here,
make yourself useful and clean this ashtray for me. I’ll be back. (SFX:
Mayfield taking off the headset.) BB: Eddie Mayfield
has decided to go to the ring, he hops on the apron and Pee Wee Troutman
is telling him to get down-- AND CRAIG MILES JUST KICKED MICHAEL HARDY
WHERE THE SUN DON’T SHINE! SB: In true
professional style! BB: Will you stop
cleaning the ashtray? Now Miles whips Hardy into the ropes and grabs him--
HOT SHOT! He just dropped Hardy’s throat across the top rope! And when
Troutman is saying something to Miles, Mayfield is choking him out!
Mayfield and Miles are ridiculous. SB: What a
doubleteam move! BB: (SFX-- Miles
putting on the headset) Hot Property is now putting the boots to Hardy,
and now eye rakes him! SB: Mr. Miles, I
cleaned the ashtray for you! MILES: So? (Miles
blows cigarette smoke right in Sammy’s face.) BB: Mayfield is now
choking Simon across the top rope, and Troutman is making him stop! And
Mayfield is yelling at Troutman, in disbelief that he would be forced to
stop blatantly cheating. MILES: Rule number
one, Buckley... is do it cool. The Pros always do things cool. Pee Wee
Troutman should know we don’t play by anyone else’s rules but our
own... SB: It’s a whole
new ballgame here in the CSWA! BB: Eddie Mayfield
off the ropes and he drops a knee to Hardy’s throat. MILES: We’re going
to work on the throat as a bodypart... that way, we’ll never have to hear
these limeys talk with their girlish accents ever again! SB: Watch this,
Buckley! BB: Now, Hot
Property drops Michael Hardy stomach first across the top rope! MILES: Come on,
Mayfield! Pin this turkey already so we can hump some rats! BB: You can’t say
that! SB: This is a
professional, Buckley! He can say whatever he wants! MILES: That’s
right! Learn our new rulebook, moron... because this is now The Era of the
Professional! BB: Mayfield now
has Hardy and lifts him-- BRAINBUSTER! BB: Mayfield is
yelling at the fans, and gesturing that the belt is going to be around his
waist. He’s going for the cover rather non-chalantly here... 1....2....No!
Hardy kicks out. MILES: That was
three. Already, the brass of this joke league is cracking down on me and
HP for doin’ things our way. Well, guess what? We’re STILL walking out
with the titles, and we’re STILL going to play by our rules. SB: Do it
cool! BB: Mayfield yells
something at Troutman, and he now picks Hardy up-- HARDY CRADLES MAYFIELD!
1.....2.....NO! Both are up-- HARDY SMALL PACKAGES MAYFIELD!
1.....2.....NO! NO! Eddie Mayfield just BARELY kicked out. MILES: Yo,
ham’n’egger... watch my smokes! SB: You got it,
Craiggers! BB: Mayfield swings
with a wild clothesline at Hardy-- who ducks and-- BACKSLIDE! HE HAS
MAYFIELD PINNED! 1...... 2..... NO! Miles snuck into the ring and broke
the pin up. Now Miles is punching Hardy. Get him out of there! SB: No way. That’s
completely fair and legal according to The Professionals. BB: Now Wilcox is
in the ring-- but Troutman heads Wilcox off, allowing Miles and Mayfield
to drag Hardy to their corner. Miles sets Hardy up... Mayfield comes off
the ropes with a clothesline-- AND MILES SWEEPS THE LEG! Mayfield is
BERATING Hardy with comments and Troutman is forcing him out of the ring.
What bullies Mayfield and Miles are. SB: Eddie was just
giving him some friendly advice! BB: Miles tags
Eddie and is signalling for Miles to hoist Hardy. Miles picks him up for a
suplex-- and Mayfield comes off the top with a crossbody block!
BB: Mayfield now is
lying across Hardy, smiling, nodding his head. Troutman covers-- 1.....
2..... NO! NO! Hardy got the arm up, and Mayfield cannot believe it! SB: This is
completely wrong. Troutman should be suspended! BB: Mayfield is
really angry now, and he picks Hardy up, and slaps him, screaming at him.
He whips Hardy in and Hardy catches Mayfield, who put his head down too
early... DDT! He just spiked Mayfield! (The crowd EXPLODES.) SB: No! He had the
tights and the hair there! BB: The crowd,
clapping and stomping, along with Simon Wilcox, trying to summon his
partner... Mayfield tags in
Miles who is charging at Hardy-- WHO MAKES THE TAG! (The crowd goes NUTS
at the hot tag.) Wilcox hops over the top and SPEARS Miles! Mayfield is in
the ring now and he tries to sneak up from behind-- SUPERKICK TO THE
JAW! BB: But Miles is up
and he hits Wilcox with a shot right to the kidney. Now he has Wilcox in a
full-nelson-- HARDY SPRINGBOARDS OFF THE TOP ROPE AND WILCOX MOVES,
DROPKICKING MILES! Wilcox with the cover! 1..... 2.... NO! Mayfield breaks
the tag up. SB: Take their
hearts out! BB: Mayfield and
Miles look up and whip them-- DO SI DO from Hardy and Wicox! Hardy tackles
Miles-- WHO FLIES OUT OF THE RING! Wilcox HURRICANRANAS MAYFIELD! HE
CATCHES THE LEGS! 1..... 2..... (SFX: The bell ringing) 3! (The crowd
erupts.) THEY DID IT! Simply Stunning gets the win! SB: NO! That can’t
be true! BB: Hardy and
Wilcox are holding their titles up in the air in celebration-- but
Troutman is saying something to Rhubarb Jones -- RJ RJ: Ladies and gentleman... as a result of a
15-minute time-limit draw... this match has been declared a DRAW! (The
crowd starts to reign down boos at the decision.) BB: Hardy and
Wilcox are obviously upset at that decision. But they still will remain
champs-- SB: But they did
not... I repeat... they did NOT beat The Professionals. BB: Wilcox and
Hardy are disagreeing with Troutman-- OH NO! CRAIG MILES JUST HIT HARDY IN
THE BACK WITH A CHAIR! AND NOW HE HITS WILCOX! Mayfield is putting the
boots to them, and Miles is crowning them with chairs! SB: HA! This rules.
What pros! BB: Troutman is
trying to get them to stop, and Mayfield grabs Troutman and tosses him
over the top to the floor. (SFX: Repeated sounds of the ring bell going
off.) Miles is just hitting both members of Simply Stunning repeatedly
with that chair, bludgeoning them. SB: Take these guys
out for good! BB: Here comes
various CSWA security personnel to stop this onslaught... Eddie is coming
over here now... MAYFIELD: Where’s
my smokes? SB: Right here! I
was watching-- BB: Mayfield
snatches his pack of Camels from Sammy and rolls in the ring... he hands a
cigarette to his partner and they both light up... THIS IS
DISGUSTING! SB: The Human
Ashtrays! BB: Mayfield and
Miles are flicking their cigarette ashes on our tag team champions!
BB: Folks, we’ll be
back. (CUT TO: A large
van pulling up into a loading area, the side of the van displaying a large
sign touting 'RICHARD'S FIVE STAR CATERING'. A pair of chefs jump out of
the van, scurry around the back of the van and start to unload a copious
amount of food. The first chef
opens a door to exit the loading area... and is suddenly face to face with
a focused Wicked Sight, getting ready for his match later tonight with
Apocalypse.) Chef #1: Mr.
Plett! What a... uh... surprise! (The second chef
jerks upright and frantically attempts to cover the cake so Wicked Sight
can't see the words on the cake. Sight cranes his neck to try and peer
over the first chef, a big smile on his face, taking his mind off
Apocalypse for just a moment.) Sight: What’cha
got here guys? Looks like a... party… A big party. Is it for anyone I
know? Chef#1: Um...
it's actually for... uh... Mr. LOVE! Chef#2: That's
right! This is just for Mr. Love’s dressing room. It's a perk he had put
into his contract... that's all, probably to cheer him up after that head
shaving… Sight: Really...
Wow... Eddy must be kind of hungry. You mind if I take a little peek? Both Chefs: NO! Chef#1: Ummm..
that is.. Mr. Love is ... very picky about people being near his food. OR
around his food. Or even looking at his food. Chef#2: Right!
especially looking at his food! Eddy can't stand that! Sight: (Smirking)
All right, OK... well, I guess I shouldn't hold you guys up like that.
Don't want to keep... 'Eddy' ... waiting now. But I’ve got a lot
of focusing to do so I don’t need to be disturbed until after I’m done
with Apocalypse tonight out there, all right? Chef#2: (Visibly
relieved) Sure, thank you Mr. Sight. (The chefs
rapidly haul the large pile of food and alcohol away and past the still
grinning Wicked Sight. They scurry down the hallway and out a door.) Wicked Sight:
Cool... this must be a homecoming deal, I bet Rose has something to do
with this... BB: We're back here on PRIMETIME folks. Right now we're gonna head down to Rudy Seitzer, who has one of the CSWA's brightest stars with him backstage. (CUT TO: Rudy
Seitzer and Shawn Stevens in the back, from the looks of it all.... it
seems to be in interview setting. Seitzer pushes the microphone toward his
mouth.) SEITZER: We're
back here talking to Shawn "Superman" Stevens about his upcoming
match against, Triple X. Shawn it's good to have you here tonight; you and
Triple X have a long history…Is this going to be the ending of the epic
story? SUPERMAN: Thank
you Rudy, it's just wonderful being able to finally express myself here in
the CSWA; well… Now that I'm not being told what to do or how to say it.
It makes me feel a little wanted you know? You see, when I first came into
this federation Rudy, I was looked at with a glare; deemed a backstage
cancer because of my past occurrences with men such as Triple X and Eli
Flair. I wasn't welcomed with open hands when I first stepped in, hell…
I knew that I wasn't going to gain any respect because my world was black;
everyone else's is white with gray coating. I can't just shrug off certain
things, I can't just pretend my wife died and it was used as a tool to
gain more ratings…My life is bad, it's not pleasant. I never tried to
pretend the world was a happy place though, Rudy. I can't just expect it
to be a picture perfect world where everything would work itself out…I
needed to experience the pain and suffering to appreciate the true nature
of Society. Sometimes you have to do certain things, to make people want
to take notice…Sometimes you have to be the bad guy, so others can
appreciate the hatred. I'm not as bad of a guy, that some would tell you
Rudy. I'm the only hero to those fans, I'll play a part for all of them;
as the quote, unquote "bad guy" until someone shows that being a
role model isn't a job to be taken for granted. I do things that I don't
want to do Rudy, because I need for society to be unclouded from the
candy-coated nature of professional wrestling. Some would like us to
believe it all stops in the ring, when we hit the backstage our life is
nothing more then about winning and losing. I feel sorry for those people
Rudy, but I'm Shawn Stevens - a professional wrestler, not the
professional wrestler "Shawn Stevens"…There is a total
difference. SEITZER: Thank
you Shawn, now…(Shawn cuts off Rudy and continues to speak) SUPERMAN: That's
why I feel sorry for Triple X, because he needs to defeat me to see that
light; he needs to destroy me in the middle of that ring to advance his
career…What am I supposed to do Rudy? You tell me, because this match
here in CSWA…It's not going to bring me up the ladder, I've already been
bogged down by my unwillingness to just conform…Or to let the good guys,
if you will, take advantage of the fans short attention span. They aren't
going to care either way if I lose are they? Yet if Triple X finally
defeats me in CSWA maybe it will help him grab hold of a pretty title.
That's something I could do for him…Yet if I did, he would be just like
everyone else in this federation, taking something for nothing. I have to
be that bad guy for him to work towards defeating, I have to lay Triple X
on that mat to make him excel past me! (Rudy Seitzer
puts his hand up to his ear and puts his other hand forward, signaling for
the camera to wait.) SEITZER:
Folks, I've just gotten word from CSWA officials that due to the nature of
this bout and both men's past performances, this bout is going to
determine the top contender for the Presidential Championship! (Stevens lets out
a small grin, putting one of his large hands on his chin. To their right,
a figure steps up. As the camera focuses in... a slight pop echoes around
the arena... while - in the meantime - the camera slowly pans downward,
focusing in on XXXstasy himself. He is clad in a 100% cotton sleeveless 'SuRviVOR'
t- shirt, and black tights, with blue trim. His face is soaking wet...
and, his hair hung low.) SEITZER: Sean....
XXXstasy... what are your thoughts? XXXSTASY (Staring
at Seitzer): What do I think? What are my thoughts? Rudy Seitzer.... I've
been in the CSWA for nearly a YEAR now.... I've beaten my fair share of
CSWA vets, and have come within a hair of being SEITZER (Swallows
hard):...None-- (Interrupted) XXXSTASY:
Exactly, Rudy.... exactly. And, now.... I'm only SECONDS away from a match
that's gonna define my career.... a match that's either gonna make me or
BREAK me.... and, what do you want to talk about? ...You wanna talk about
Shawn 'Superman' Stevens.... Well, if you haven't heard by now.... I'm not
some corporate kiss-up. I'm not gonna let ANY front office guys,
promoters, OR politicians tell me WHAT and what not to do, SAY, or HOW I
should say it.... but, in this case.... I'll cooperate." (He turns to face
the camera.) Shawn Stevens.... I don't know what's worse.... the fact that
I have to wrestle you, or the fact that they ACTUALLY give you time to
spit your pointless, senseless, drivel, brainwashing any-and-everybody who
doesn't have this little thing we like to call 'common sense'. You think
this is about a CSWA title shot? Newsflash, Shawn.... I've had title shots
BEFORE you and I'll have 'em AFTER I dispose of you. Yeah.... we have a
history.... but, you don't know a damned thing about me.... how I
operate.... or how i think. Because if you did, you'd know that this thing
between you and I is FAR beyond CSWA acceptance and career advancement.
You'd know that the LAST thing I'm thinking about is what's gonna happen
AFTER this match. Shawn, if you knew my mindset, you'd know that ALL I'm
thinking about is THIS match.... and, doing whatever I can to see to it
that YOU never compete again. (Slight Crowd Pop.) And, I'm gonna do
it, too. I promise you I'll do it. Because there's nothing new with you.
I've seen your best.... I've BEEN through your best.... and, have TAKEN
it. You can't stop me.... you can't BEAT me.... and, your future isn't
HALF as bright as mine. You're right about one thing, though.... this IS
the CSWA. I'm not gonna throw any past accomplishments in your face to
help make my case. What I'm gonna do, Shawn.... is hurt you. I'm gonna
beat you down. And, I'm gonna prove to you, the promoters, the fans, and
most importantly.... myself, that I belong here. That I am every bit as
good as I say I am. And, that I was right all along, when I made that bold
claim two years ago.... the one where I said: 'You weren't on my level'.
Prepare to be hurt, Shawn.... prepare to bleed. You think that's
harsh? Nah, you ain't seen it.... wait until we're in the squared circle. (XXXstasy
immediately walks out of the camera's view.... and, toward the curtain.
"Superman" Stevens smiles once again, shaking his head and heads
the opposite way.) (CUT TO: The
broadcast position.) BB: Well, Sammy,
I guess that Sight doesn’t know about the Presidential Contendership
stipulation on this upcoming match, but I’m sure he’s willing to
defend the belt against either of these men, who he’s met before. SB: He still
hasn’t learned anything. BB: Here we go…
Let’s get to this match between two relative CSWA up-and-comers.
They’re both decorated individuals in other places, but they have to
remember that this is the big time. They might have to adapt a little bit,
but for the time being, it should be great to watch these stallions do
battle. SB: Stallions?
Buckley, I thought you were married. BB: You know I
am, Sammy. SB: Then stop
acting like you’re… BB: Sammy!
RJ: This contest
is to determine who receives the next shot at the Presidential
Championship! (CUE UP:
"Bullet In The Head" by Rage Against The Machine) RJ: Coming out of
(As Rhubarb is
talking, XXX has been making his way down to the ringside area. He rolls
in the ring and throws his hands in the air, receiving his surprisingly
loud pop with adoration.) BB: He looks real
focused, Sammy, I’m sure both of these guys are going to be on the top
of their game, it’s a huge chance for them to shine. SB: Yeah, if the
winner of this gets to fight Sight soon… and Sight survives the
Apocalypse… they’re BOUND to be the Presidential Champion! SB: The Sno-Cone
Man? (CUE UP:
"New Noise" by Refused – after a moment of unknowing silence,
the crowd lets out a rather decent heel pop as Shawn Stevens steps out
into the arena.) RJ: Hailing from SB: Stevens is a
strong, smart, fast young guy with a lot of wrestling experience outside
of the CSWA… He made his return at ELVIS LIVES in the Presidential Title
Tourney, but had some no-name for a partner – had it not been for that,
he’d have easily taken care of Wicked Sight. Stevens didn’t do a whole
lot in his first run here and left on somewhat bad terms with the
promotion, but decided to hop back into the fray and he’s pretty
fortunate to be getting a shot like this. BB: Nice
commentary, Sammy… but this one’s underway, and in a big way,
"Superman" Stevens lays into X-X-X with a few shots to the head,
then sends him into the corner, XXXStasy moves out of the way and Stevens
crashes into the turnbuckle… X with a rollup, but Stevens kicks out just
as quick and both men are on their feet now.
Stevens swings a lariat but Triple X ducks it and turns the corner,
catching "Superman" with a kick to the midsection. SB: XXXStasy
applies a reverse headlock and now trades it out for a side headlock,
"Superman" Stevens shrugs him off and into the ropes, X with a
leapfrog over the much larger of the two men with the same given name,
both men turn and face each other, both with a right fist and both men
stagger backward… BB: That’s
right, Sammy, X’s name is also Sean Stevens, but it’s spelled S-E-A-N,
whereas "Superman" spells his first name with an H… it
doesn’t matter to these two, though, it probably only adds fuel to a
fire that they have had raging for sometime before bringing it to the
major leagues. SB: The
"H" guy has that other guy in the corner going to town with
fists and now boots, and the “X” kid is getting beat-down in the
corner BB:
Couldn’t you even take the time to get the names right? SB:
I just started remembering that Sight kid’s name…what more do
you want outta me? BB:
Stevens has mounted the center turnbuckle and place his fists in
the air, and these fans don’t like him all that much.
He’s wasting time when he should be taking advantage of the
situation, from what I understand, that isn’t very much like
"Superman" Stevens but whatever the case, he’s looking for
cheers and XXXSTASY CATCHES HIM, POWERBOMB OUT OF THE CORNER AND THE
REFEREE MAKES THE COUNT… SB:
Is it over yet? BB:
Not so fast! "Superman" Stevens kicks out at two,
Worthington was right in place and Stevens got out, now X-X-X with a few
shots to the head of "Superman" Stevens, sends him into the
ropes with an Irish whip, but "Supes" reverses it and X springs
onto the center rope, goes for a moonsault and he catches all of it, this
could be it… one, two… NO, "Superman" kicks out once
again… SB:
Shouldn’t he have on a red cape or something? BB: Both men
gather themselves once again, both men throw fists and both connect, this
is a very intense, very real rivalry between these two and Stevens throws
him into the corner, follows in with a shoulder block and X crumples over,
right into an uppercut from the independent standout, "Superman"
is making this a fight, but Triple X brings it back to him with a few
shots of his own, and that took some inner-strength to fight off the
beating he was taking, Shawn Stevens is reeling, XXXStasy has the upper
hand now, and there with a quick standing dropkick and Shawn Stevens goes
down… SB: Maybe he'll stay down. I mean... is it really a big deal who gets to face Sight? He's a SCRUB I tell you! BB: He's the Presidential Champion, you goof. Stevens gets back up, but gets dropped with another dropkick. He's up again, but again Triple X hits him with another standing dropkick. He's got the crowd applauding this display! SB: We're
in Washington state...it doesn't take much. BB: X goes to
scoop up Stevens, but Stevens chops him in the shoulder and applies a
wristlock, "Superman" is very technically proficient within the
ring, don’t let his brawn fool you. He turns it into a side headlock and
now with a bulldog, he just planted X-X-X into the canvas, and he
doesn’t go for the pinfall, but instead wants to inflict just a bit more
punishment before he tries to end this one, he lifts X-X-X back up and
gives him a shot to the head, and another, and yes, a third, then sends
him into the ropes and follows in with a big clothesline and both men go
over the top… SB: These two can
both easily out-show Wicked Sight on any day… this class of incoming
CSWA athletes is very, very intimidating. Are you happy now
that I read the card, Buckley? BB: You talk
about "classes"… Every so often, a group of new guys comes in
all at once and makes an impact on this federation, and changes it
forever… It looks to me like Shawn Stevens, X-X-X, Gemini,
"Luscious" Lance Leizure, Johnny Lang… these guys are all
ready to make an impact, and speaking of impact, "Superman" just
got slammed into the steel steps out here by XXXStasy, and the referee is
giving these two a lot of leeway out here in this bout. SB: I think
he's just a little slow. BB: That’s a
good point to argue, but the fact of the matter is that the
"E-A" Sean is now pounding away at his larger opponent! Well,
bite my tongue, now "Superman" is coming back, with a few shots
of his own to the midsection, and he just tossed X-X-X into the crowd! Now
Referee Ben Worthington is beginning the ten count, but these two don’t
seem to care! SB: You can’t
end...I mean, win the match out there, guys! BB: It looks like
their hatred for one another outweighs their desire to get a shot at
Wicked Sight’s Presidential Title, they’re slugging it out toward the
cheap seats! Worthington’s on five, but they don’t even seem to
notice, both men are trading blows and they keep heading further and
further away, our camera men aren’t going to follow if they go much
farther… SB: What’s that
sign say? ………… Sno-Cone Man! Ha, that’s a hoot! BB: Oh would you
give it a rest, Benson? SB: Interesting
question. No. BB: Folks, this
one has been ruled a double-countout, they’re still doing battle but it
could be in the concession stands for all we know… we’ve got to take a
quick commercial break, but when we come back, Kevin Powers has something
to say! (CUE UP:
"Let's Go All The Way" - Insane Clown Posse. The video wall
shows images of The Dark Carnival's recent action to include Powers’
match against Steve Radder at ELVIS LIVES. With the music continuing to
blare 'Good God' Kevin Powers, followed by 'Risqué' Roseanne Fairhurst,
make their way to the top of the rampway and are greeted by a huge face
pop by the crowd in attendance. Kneeling in front of Powers, Fairhurst
looks out into the crowd as Powers holds out his arms to make a 'T' pattern
and, behind him, a white fountain like pyro goes off exciting the crowd
even more. Once the fountain goes out both Powers and Fairhurst make their
way inside of the ring and continue to spark up the crowd by standing on
the second turnbuckle looking out into the crowd. Powers then makes a move
towards one of the ring attendants, calls for a mic, gets it, and begins
to speak.) KP: How’s
everyone doing in (The crowd gives
up a huge roar when hearing their city's name.) KP: Well, what
can I say? I was hoping that tonight would be the night that I would come
out here and proudly show off my brand new CSWA World Heavyweight Title.
Then again that didn’t exactly happen. Just like all the other chances
I’ve had for the World Title, I blew it once again to yet another
outside factor known as ‘The Barber’ Mike Randalls. I had the chance
to own the belt in the past. All the former champions … at one time or
another I’ve beat’em except for maybe Hornet. Can’t really remember
considering all the cheap shots I’ve received from Randalls in my
matches, but that’s how it goes. Then again can anyone REALLY beat
Hornet? I take that back … I bet Ivy will when she slaps his ass with a
child support action. No, I didn’t
win the title, but another former member of PLR has got the gold and he is
‘Iceman’ Steve Radder. I’m happy that the little bugger finally got
the World Title around his waist cause he’s deserved it right? I mean
I’m really happy that the Heavyweight title has found a home, once
again, around the waist of a Cruiserweight. At least you can
honestly say you earned the title here rather than your last title stint,
which I can think of, in EWI when Flair walked and the belt was handed to
you on a sliver platter. Then again, you did drop the belt in your first
title defense against Evan Aho, but what can you do? You earned it right?
You fought tooth and nail trying to do everything for yourself fighting up
the ladder to earn the title. You didn’t get involved in other
people’s matches so you could get noticed … oh wait I can’t say
that, but people have their own style and it’s obvious it’s paid off
for you so congrats Icepick … I really mean it. (There is a mixed
reaction from the crowd trying to figure out where Powers is coming from.) KP: Now most of
you probably think I have some hostility issues built up inside and …
you’re right. I mean think about it. How many times do I have to go out
to the ring and wonder if my skill is going to win the match or … is
Mike Randalls going to come out and ensure that the jealousy he has for me
is going to cost me to lose oh yet again? Hell Rose still remembers how he
came out and molested her only because he can’t get a shot of ass with a
fistful of hundreds! So the only way he can do it is to stalk and conquer.
Now look at him. Shaving heads to get his point across. And the females
in this federation … if they aren’t getting beat down then they’re
getting knocked up! Jealousy running wild … I didn’t sign up for this
so long ago. Back when I joined up in 98 things were correct, but now? All
the old Son-of-a-####### can’t take the heat ‘cause new stars are
coming around so they stage their ClaimStaker glory … only to weed each
other out. And the new cocky bastards around here think that they should
have everything handed to them … screw’em. Screw all of
this. I’m sorry CSWA but I can’t take it anymore. Bickering in the
back for who should be on top, who should be pushed, and who should be
screwed over … it just doesn’t fly with me. At ANNIVERSARY I’m going
to have my last match and, as far as ‘Good God’ Kevin Powers and the
CSWA, this little ‘marriage’ is over! (As the house
lights go off they are quickly replace by roaming blue spotlights circling
the arena. Then, as 'Fearless' - Insane Clown Posse starts up, 'The Dark
Lotus' Miso and 'The Apocalypse' Gabriel Poe make their way to the top of
the ramp way. With the video wall showing video clips of The Dark Carnival
in action to include Poe’s recent slaughter at Elvis Lives, the crowd
goes off into a thunderous roar as the pair make their way down the
rampway and into the ring. As they enter the ring, Miso stands in front of
Apocalypse and they both look out into the crowd with cold stares on their
face. After a moment fountain like pyro goes off from the turnbuckles
giving that extra effect to the crowd to cheer on representatives of The
Dark Carnival. Poe then looks right at Kevin Powers and begins to speak.) GP: What are you
saying? You’re going to give up just like that? KP: Apoc, we’ve
been over this ever since ELVIS LIVES finished. I’m tired of it and
I’m quitting. (The crowd is stunned.) GP: Don’t you
understand? They want you to quit. That’s why they keep treating you
like this. I heard you earlier when you were complaining about how
Randalls kept getting involved in your matches. Remember how Merritt
suspended him, but let him back in just that quick? Imagine if one of us
did what he did. Merritt would’ve suspended us in a second, but this is
Randalls. They’re tight. And I’m sure Merritt told Randalls that he
would let him back in only if he would screw you over time and time again
to ensure that you didn’t get the title. KP: I’m sure
it’s not even like that. GP: Isn’t it?
Tell me this. Do you think the CSWA will allow you to get a shot at the
CSWA title now that Radder holds it? Or should I bring up memories
of Mark Vizzack? (The crowd begins
to boo as Powers continues to look at his partner in the face.) KP: Poe you know
I don’t need this. I’ve won the (Poe backs off
for a moment and looks at Powers in shock.) GP: You’ve …
lost it haven’t you? KP: Lost what? GP: You’ve lost
your killer edge didn’t you? KP: No I didn’t
lose it. GP: LIAR! I can
see it in your eye. You’re not the Kevin Powers I once met back in KP: Look Poe I
have to go ‘cause I’ve got …. GP: No wait. All
I ask from you right now is to go over to that announcers’ table and
watch my next match against Wicked Sight. In front of his home state I
will show you what you are missing and hopefully … you can pick up on it
and return to the Powers of old! KP: Fine. This
one time, but after your match I’m gone. (The majority of the
crowd boos.) GP: (with a devilish smile on his face) That’s all I ask. (With little
fanfare, Poe and Miso leave the ring as Powers heads to the commentators'
table.)
(Kevin Powers
makes his way to the broadcast position, shaking hands with Rudy Seitzer.
As he places the headphones on, his face is still in shock from the
lecture he just got by Apocalypse.) BB: Kevin Powers,
welcome to the table… KP: It’s a…
pleasure. SB: You do
realize that you let Steve Radder win the world title, don’t you? THE
SNO CONE MAN! KP: You do
realize that I can knock your teeth down your throat, don’t you? You
look better in tar and feathers. Besides, Mike Randalls SCREWED Steve
Radder into that title. (CUE UP:
"Just Got Wicked" by Cold – huge pop. Standing at the top of
the ramp, his hands in the air and his face toward the sky, Wicked Sight
has the Presidential title wrapped around his waist. In his right hand, a
microphone.) WS: (Deafening pop) WS: … (Continuing roar
from the audience) WS: You’re
about to witness yet another STELLAR PERFORMANCE from "THE
FREAK"… I won’t bring a pregnant chick out here, I won’t make
out with a fat one, I won’t read you the Book of Revelations and I
won’t be doing any barber work… But Apocalypse is about to get a quick
wakeup call on exactly how us FREAKS … (in unison with his home crowd)
RUN THE PAGEANTRY! SB: Kevin, there
is no doubt that Apocalypse is going to show you something in this one…
look at his opponent! BB: Sammy, I
don’t know what your reason is for hating Sight, but this crowd is
cheering him on right now as he lays a few right hands to the side of the
much larger Gabriel Poe, he goes for an Irish whip but Apocalypse reverses
it and shoots him into the far side, Apocalypse throws a clothesline, but
Sight ducks it and goes into the opposite ropes, flies off with a flying
elbow and it connects with Apoc’s jaw… KP: Here’s
another one of those cruiserweights that wants to play with the big
boys… Don’t get me wrong, Buckley, Sight’s a hell of a competitor.
But he’s a shrimp. What is he, 230? BB: That sounds
about right, I missed Rhubarb’s introduction… KP: That’s big
for a normal guy, but in the CSWA, he’s a lightweight. SB: And he paid for it big time right there, Apocalypse just doubled him up! That's what the FREAK gets! leveled him with
a clothesline in the center of the ring and here he goes again with some
right hands to the side of The Freak’s head as he gets back up… BB: That was a
massive clothesline by the challenger! He nails Sight with some hard
rights, before pulling the Presidential Champ to his feet.
Apocalypse rifles him into the corner, Sight leaps onto the top
turnbuckle, MOONSAULT! What amazing agility, Poe moved but Sight landed on
his feet and catches him in the face with a forward dropkick! Apocalypse
goes into the turnbuckles and Sight is right back up, with a kick to the
gut and shot to the head, I don’t know how wise it is to try and match
power with The Apocalypse… KP: It isn’t.
It’s stupid. Apocalypse is as big as an ox and a whole Hell of a lot
smarter, and there he shows it with a very hard impacting hip toss,
that’s exactly what he did to some no-name at Elvis, and took out two
other people… That’s what he did to Evan Aho to destroy his ribs… BB: Apocalypse
gets Sight to his feet and throws him into the ropes, Sight comes off and
he goes for a big boot, Sight rolls underneath it and spins around with
another forward dropkick, Apocalypse staggers and Sight goes back into the
ropes, comes off with a clothesline, Apocalypse goes into the ropes and
now Sight has mounted his body and is hammering shots to the side of his
head… SB: THERE WE GO,
APOCALYPSE JUST THREW SIGHT INTO THE GUARD RAIL! FINISH HIM! KP: There’s
that strength, Buckley, but this isn’t doing much… ANNIVERSARY is my
final hoorah, guys. SB: Apocalypse
has Sight by the hair and he tosses him into the steel steps, what a thud
that makes! I love it! BB: Gabriel Poe
with the upper hand here and I don’t think the crowd likes it, Wicked
Sight is a huge fan favorite wherever we go, but here in his own home
state, he’s well loved… SB: I don’t
know why. BB: Oh give it a
rest! Apocalypse sends him off toward the post, but Sight swings off it
and he’s on the apron now, off with a HUGE HURRICANRANA FROM THE APRON,
Apocalypse goes down on the concrete floor and Sight is on top, pounding
away with fists of rage! SB: Here we go
again… What are you doing Apocalypse? KP: Like I said,
Sight is a Hell of an athlete, but he can’t outdo Poe’s strength. BB: Well, tell
these screaming fans that as he sends the much larger Apocalypse back into
the ring! He throws a fist and tries to send him into the ropes, but
Apocalypse shoots him back to the corner, Sight comes off with a
360-DEGREE CLOTHESLINE AND APOCALYPSE HITS THE CANVAS, THIS CROWD HAS COME
UNGLUED, WICKED SIGHT IS HEADING UP TOP! SB: This crowd
never shuts up… KP: I don’t
know what exactly is going on with Gabriel right now, he’s a very ticked
off monster and Sight’s REAL lucky to have this offense right now… BB: Manny is
telling Sight to get off the rope, he’s got five seconds up there folks,
and Sight comes off with a dropkick but APOCALYPSE SWATS HIM DOWN LIKE A
FLY! SB: Apocalypse
was playing possum the ENTIRE TIME… BB: I don’t
know if he was playing possum the WHOLE time, Sammy, but he was just then,
and Apocalypse pulls Sight up by his hair and headbutts him real hard,
Sight goes straight back down and I’m pretty sure that Wicked Sight is
completely winded right now. KP: Apocalypse
has this one in the bag right now, Buckley… BB: Poe’s back
on the attack as he picks up Sight and whips him right into the corner.
And Poe follows in with a running clothesline! And now Poe is laying in
the bombs with vicious shots to Sight’s head! SB: But look at
Poe. Every shot he takes at Sight he keeps looking our way right at you
Big Kev. Every punch he shoots is another plea for you to change your mind
and stay in the CSWA. KP: You think I
don’t see that Sammy? When we hooked up as The Dark Carnival we ruled
the tag team scene. I know what Poe is all about, but I’m just tired of
the constant game. SB: But … Kev
… Sno Cone has the title! Don’t you … KP: Sammy, I
warned you one time to keep your trap shut. If I have to warn you again I
will go out of my way to make sure you know how it feels how to eat corn
on the cob without no teeth. BB: Kevin we’re
not holding you back … SB: Well THAT was
rude! BB: Poe takes a
dazed Wicked Sight and whips him into the far turnbuckle. Now Poe off the
ropes catching Sight stumbling out of the corner. FLYING BULLDOG! Dear God
look at the expression on Poe’s face! KP: He does enjoy
his work. BB: And now Poe
picks up Sight again and drags him over towards the ropes. He’s trying
to get your attention Kevin. GP (yelling):
Will you reconsider! KP: Gabriel just
do your match okay. GP (yelling):
Maybe this will change your mind then! BB: REVELATIONS!
Poe just PLANTED Sight with a reverse DDT and … it looks like Sight is
out! SB: Someone get
the pooper-scooper and scrape that piece of crap out of the ring! The
Apocalypse is large and in charge tonight in this pathetic excuse of a
town called BB: Poe is now
pointing at Miso and saying something to her and … she’s going under
the ring? KP: I’ve seen
this before. Looks like SB: MISO HAS
WOOD! Miso just dragged out a table. Hey guys, every time I see Miso two
words come to mind. Kobe Tai … ring a bell anyone? BB: You would
think something like that Benson. Miso is setting up the table while Poe
is laying in a couple of more fist shots. How is Manny letting this one
go? KP: Manny might
be playing it smart and not wanting to get involved. These two have had
some heated words during the week and it’s best if they settle their
issues without a third party getting involved. BB: Miso has the
table up and Poe just whipped Sight into the ropes … OH DEAR GOD! POE
JUST HIPTOSSED WICKED SIGHT OUT OF THE RING AND RIGHT INTO THAT TABLE! SB: Wicked Sight
is broken! Ha! He HAS to be, just like the guys at Elvis Lives, Apocalypse
has brought the Dark Reign to BB: Not so fast,
Sammy… Wicked Sight is getting up! Manny KP: Buckley, Poe
might be shocked, but he’s just going to finish Sight off. Sight would
be best if he stayed down, so he could enjoy that wife of his. BB: Wicked Sight
never gives up, and you can tell by these fans’ reaction that they
don’t want him to EVER give up! Apocalypse pulls him to his feet by his
hair and pulls back his hand, this might decapitate the Presidential
champion, Sight ducks and hits a drop toe hold! I can’t believe it,
Apocalypse just got hung on the top rope and Sight flies off the opposite
side, LANDS ON TOP OF APOCALYPSE, POSSIBLY CRACKED RIBS AND ALL! SB: No! BB: Wicked Sight
turns Apocalypse around, hooks the head, he’s going for the View To A
Kill! SB: Stupid Freak! BB: Apocalypse
throws him off though, Sight lands on his feet… SB: Come on Apoc! BB: Apocalypse
scoops him up, he’s heading toward the turnbuckles, I think Apocalypse
is going to go for the Seventh Seal! SB: Sight will be
DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! BB: He escapes,
and he’s standing in the center of the ring! KP: That kid’s
got spunk, but look at Apocalypse, he’s back ready to go, too, and both
men are trading fists in the center of the ring, Apocalypse knocks Sight
down but Sight gets right back up and charges Apocalypse into the corner,
he’s clearly favoring those tender ribs and Apocalypse with a closed
fist right to them! BB: Great color
commentary here from "Good God" and now Referee Manny Juarez is
getting between both men and telling them to watch the fists, Wicked Sight
is double over in pain and Apocalypse shoves Manny away… SB: He ought to
let this go… I love it! BB: You would,
Benson, but Wicked Sight is doing his best to get to his feet, here he
goes with a few rapid-fire shots to the midsection of Gabriel Poe, and
another, and one more, here comes Juarez telling them to play by the rules
again, and this time, FROM HIS KNEES, Wicked Sight just knocked Manny
Juarez on his can, and he’s coming back to his feet, after all that he
has taken, Wicked Sight is standing face-to-face with Apocalypse here in
his home state, and this crowd is on it’s feet for both men! KP: Both these
guys are showing me something, especially my friend Poe. But
he hasn’t changed my mind. SB: BB: Manny KP: Manny is
trying his best to lay the law down to Poe and Plett, but it’s lookin’
like they ain’t goin’ for it. SB: I think they
just did cause they’re not throwing punches at each other anymore! Way
to go Manny! You just ruined a good match! KP: Wait a
minute. Poe and Plett are looking right at … OH HERE WE GO! BB: Both men just
NAILED Referee Manny Juarez, and he is out cold! Now here they go at each
other again, Apocalypse sends Sight into the ropes and Sight comes off
with a clothesline, Apocalypse staggers, both men are very wary and now
they’re throwing shots at each other again! SB: How does that
kid keep going? BB: KP: Apocalypse
and Sight are still going at each other, what’s Rhubarb going to say? RJ: Official
Manny Juarez has ruled this bout a NO CONTEST! KP: Apocalypse
has quit going at Sight, he’s heading straight to BB: Wicked Sight
has been handed his Presidential Title and he’s walking up the ramp, and
these fans are giving him the respect he earned here tonight in SB: The fans are
on their feet seeing what Apocalypse is going to do! KP: Gentleman, it
was a pleasure working with you… I’ll see you real soon, boys. (Powers removes
his headset and begins to make his way around the ring towards the ramp
area.) BB: I still
can’t believe that Powers is going to retire after ANNIVERSARY, this is
just unreal … SB: Wait a second
Buckley. Poe just grabbed a mic and he’s STILL got Manny in his hands! GP: Kevin …
reconsider your decision. Don’t leave the CSWA. POWERS, LOOK AT ME WHEN
I’M TALKING TO YOU! SB: That just
stopped the big man dead in his tracks and now he’s turning around! Talk
some logic to him Apoc! GP: Kevin …
please … reconsider. BB: Powers and
Poe are looking eye to eye right now and …. Powers is shaking his head
no! Powers is walking away! I can’t believe it! GP: If I have to
destroy everyone in the CSWA to ensure that you change your mind … then
I will. BB: CHOKESLAM ON SB: Poe will only
quit his Dark Reign terror once Powers changes his mind. The CSWA better
pray that he does! Hell, get Sight back over here, we’d LOVE to see him
tangle with Apocalypse again. BB: Speak for yourself, Sammy, but rest assured, the CSWA locker room better stay away from The Apocalypse for the time being! (CUT TO: Wicked
Sight sitting in a backstage area, dripping with sweat and a look of
determination still plastered on his face after his match – just moments
ago – with Apocalypse. His back is sore and his head does not feel too
great. A technician wanders into the picture and catches his attention.) Technician: Mr.
Plett? You're wanted in the conference room. Sight: (Letting
out a sigh) What for? Technician: I
don't know Mr. Plett, they just asked me to come and tell you that. Sight: Kind of a
...surprise huh? This beats the Hell out of… getting the Hell beat out
of you. I can’t wait. Technician: I
don't know. Could be a surprise I guess... (Plett turns and
struts out the doorway, humming " Sight: Cel.. a...
bration time! Come ON! (Wicked Sight
struts up to the conference room, a huge grin on his face, his belt slung
over his shoulder... he’s almost forgot the occurrences outside the ring
from moments ago. He opens the door to the large conference room, but all
of the lights seem to be turned out.) Wicked Sight:
Well, well, what have we here? Here I am all set to have a meeting in the
conference room... and yet the lights are out? (Rubs his chin...) I guess
I'll just have to turn the lights on and see who's here! Rose, I know what
you’re up to babe… (Plett turns and
runs his hand down the door frame until he finds a light switch. The
lights sputter a bit, then flare to life... revealing Gemini standing just
behind Wicked Sight holding a pair of Champagne bottles. Sight turns and
Gemini abruptly smashes a champagne bottle over his head!) Gemini: Surprise
champ! (Wicked Sight
staggers back, stunned and apparently bloodied by the sneak attack. Gemini
winds up and smashes the other bottle of champagne across Wicked Sights
head, driving Plett to his knees. Gemini: Hey Plett!
This is your victory party! Don't fade out now! Hey, you should see the
massive spread there is for you! (Gemini grabs
Plett by the hair and drags him across the room. He drags Wicked Sight up
to a loaded buffet table, behind which stand the two shocked and appalled
caterers. Gemini grabs the still staggered Sight by the throat, powers him
up and slams him down into the buffet table directly into the middle of a
massive pile of cold cuts. Pastrami and mortadella scatter everywhere...) Gemini: (Leaning
over and screaming into Plett's face.) Isn't this great Mikey? We got you
a ton of food! Fresh champagne! Cold cuts! Cheese! Lots of cheese! Have
some brie! (Gemini grabs a
small brie wheel and shoves the whole thing directly into Sight’s mouth.
Plett gags as the French cheese cuts off his air supply, then chokes and
spits chunks of brie across the table. Desperately he tries to shove
Gemini away from him, Gemini slaps his hands away then grabs Plett by the
hair and yanks him off of the table, and onto the floor with a heavy
thud.) Gemini: You don't
like the Brie? Awww Mikey... how can you not like Brie? Wicked Sight:
(Still Coughing.) Get away from me you TWO PERSONED MORON! Gemini: Mikey... (Gemini delivers
a vicious kick to Wicked Sight’s head.) Gemini: Well, hey
Mikey, if you don't like the brie... we've got LOTS of other stuff for you
champ! How about some... (Gemini turns,
grabs a heavy metal tray off of the hot table, then smashes it over
Plett’s head. Golden brown scalloped potatoes splatter across the room.) Gemini: Scalloped
Potatoes! (Plett groans
from underneath a pile of scalloped potatoes and a now severely dented
tray. Gemini shakes his head.) Gemini We just
don't believe you Plett! Here you are at your victory party! Your coming
out bash! Your moment of triumph! And all you can do is lay there and
whine? For crying out loud... (Gemini reaches
down and grabs Plett by an ankle and drags Plett across the carpet and
over to a table where a large cake sits. The words 'CONGRATULATIONS WICKED
SIGHT!' are imprinted on the cake. Gemini reaches down and yanks Plett up
into a semi standing position. Plett desperately elbows Gemini in the
stomach, then attempts to flatten him with a punch. As staggered as Wicked
Sight is though, Gemini sees the telegraphed punch by a mile. Ducking the
shot, then clamping on a full nelson. Gemini grins an evil grin and
smashes Wicked Sight into the cake and through the table. Gemini shakes
his head, grinning. Then he kneels on Sight’s chest and begins to speak. Gemini: There you
go Plett. All the PAGEANTRY you could ever want. You're living the high
life now kid. That belt means
one thing kid, SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST. If you're not the absolute baddest
of the bad on any given day... ON EVERY GIVEN DAY... you can count on
looking at the lights while someone that wants it more than you do walks
out with this hunk of tin. (Gemini grabs the
belt and throws it onto Plett’s chest. It lands with a splat, then
slides off into the cheesecake icing...) Gemini: So wake
up junior. Because, by some slim chance you managed to squeak past
Apocalypse, so you can count on us being first in line to knock your so
called 'freak' ass off your pageantry pedestal. (Gemini turns to
walk away and out the door, but stops. He turns back to Plett’s crumpled
form and stares for a moment, then says one more thing.) Gemini: You know
Plett... a month ago you gave us a wake up call. This is us repaying that
little debt. At least... this is a partial payment. See you soon Mikey.
Because as of now... this party is OVER. (Gemini turns and
strides out of he room, idly, he starts to sing.) Gemini: 'Turn out
the lights... the party is over...' BB: PRIMETIME is back...and it looks like we're about to get a visit from.... SB: HO....HO.....HOOTERS! (CUE UP: "Fanfare of the Common Man" by Aaron Copeland. On
the video wall are various shots of limousines, fancy restaurants, country
clubs and Teri Melton. Melton-- wearing a tiara and a prom dress, slightly
distended in the front, walks out, nose in the air, waving off the
boos.) SB: Get up,
Buckley. The leading lady of professional wrestling has arrived! BB: I’m not
standing up for this liar. Teri Melton is one of the most awful people I
have EVER come across. SB: I’ll tell her
you said that. TERI: (Now in the
ring.) Thank you, thank you. This is I, Teri Melton, the leading lady of
professional wrestling... and I must insist that you, my subjects, stop
genuflecting, sit back down and shut your foul mouths while I address a
certain situation that has developed in recent months! SB: She’s so
charming. BB: Funny, that’s
not the word I would use to describe her. TERI: Now, if you
middle-class people can remember all the way back to the last pay per
view... you will recall that I had a stunning announcement. I, the first
lady of professional wrestling, announced to the world that I am currently
with child--- (The crowd starts chanting HOOOOO TERRRRRRS. Teri is besides
herself.) That’s okay-- I CAN WAIT. SB: She deserves
our respect. Quiet these people, Buckley. TERI: As you
remember... I have become pregnant... by a man you all know. For months,
as I sat bored with Lawrence Stanley (Loud shrieks for
BB: Very
modest. SB: She only speaks
the truth. TERI: That’s
right... Hornet and I have spent every second togeth— (CUE UP: "All Star" by Smash Mouth. Hornet-- in street
clothes-- comes out, holding a microphone in his hands.) TERI: Oh, Hornet!
Did you come out here to tell everyone how much you love me? HORNET: No, Teri...
I came out here to ask you something... Just WHAT in the hell are you
talking about? (The crowd ERUPTS.) I told you to keep this stuff private.
This is our business and I don’t want to talk about it.... especially not
in front of an audience! TERI: But, don’t
you love-- HORNET: Teri, like
I said, I’m NOT talking about this-- BB: OH MY GOD! (The
crowd ERUPTS) SB: And look at
Teri! BB: SHE’S LOVING
EVERY SECOND OF IT! BB: At this point, fans, we're supposed to have two matchups, one being the United States Championship bout between US Champ Havoc and Eli Flair. I have been told that Eli Flair did not make his flight here to Tacoma...but we're not sure why. SB: Cause he's a punk, that's why. BB: With everything that's been going on, who knows, Sammy. I know that his flight came in as scheduled...but he wasn't on it. As for our other.... (CUE UP: "Where the
Downboys Go" by Warrant. CUT TO: JJ DeVille walking to the ring, clad in a
half-shirt that reads "I REMEMBER EDDY’S HAIR." JJ is holding a plastic
bag in one hand, nunchucks in the other.) BB: Hey, I thought
this match was postponed due to the problems the airlines are
having... SB: Well,
Buckley... JJ DeVille is out here. And JJ DeVille is out here... things
happen! BB: You’ve GOT to
be kidding me. JJ: That’s right,
BB: JJ DeVille is
now starting to moonwalk around the ring, blowing kisses to ladies. This
kid is absolutely ridiculous... SB: Go JJ! Go JJ!
It’s your birthday! JJ: Now that treat
is over... now, I know all you Tacomaniacs came out here for a reason...
and that’s to see the members of Playboys Incorporated do their thang!
(The crowd pops at that.) And that includes me... JJ DeVille, who was
supposed to be in a co-main event with his main squeeze Sweet Melinda
taking on Luscious Lance LOSER with his porno skank he bought at
Wal-Mart! BB: Co main event?
That lucky would be lucky to even make the airwaves! JJ: But because of
the tragic events of the past few weeks... a lot of the CSWA’s roster
could not make it tonight because of problems with travel. That,
unfortunately, includes my main babe Sweet Melinda, who is no doubt
sitting at home, rubbing her hands in the pants region-- BB: Ewww. JJ: And that also
unfortunately includes my employers in Troy Windham and Eddy Love-- the
two coolest dudes in the world. And also... that includes my opponents for
the evening. Now, don’t fret... this match WILL happen, as JJ DeVille, the
man whose hands are registered as weapons in 32 states and 14 nations,
will get his just revenge on LLL at the next show! SB: Thank
god. JJ: But my business
is not done tonight! NO! You see, at the last pay per view, my main man
Eddy Love was attacked from behind by the so-called WOLF... Mike Randalls!
Mike Randalls didn’t just attack Mr. Love... he also had the AUDACITY to
shave Eddy Love’s beautiful hair. SB: A loss we have
all felt deep in our hearts. JJ: Now, Mike
Randalls, you may think you have done something great... but you did not
get the job done. You see, Randalls-- what I have right here is the
remains of Eddy’s golden locks! (JJ holds up the baggie.) And sooner or
later, we are going to find the good doctor who can surgically attack the
hair back to where it belongs... and then, once again, the world can
smile! BB: Oh
please. JJ: But,
Mikey-pooh... before that happens, and before you meet your maker when you
face Eddy Love one on one... you have to meet me. I know that I’m half the
man Eddy Love is... but that makes me TWICE the man that you are, or
something, I was never really good at math. Or English. Or history-- well,
that doesn’t matter. But what I am good at, Mikey, is being a Human Weapon
who can strike down anyone anytime! So what I want you to do, right now,
is drag your skinny bag-o-bones body out here and prepare for the beating
of a lifetime! BB: Is JJ DeVille
NUTS? Mike Randalls is the most lethal man in the HISTORY of professional
wrestling. Randalls will destroy him. (CUE UP: "Oh
Well"
by Fleetwood Mac. The lights dim and the crowd goes nuts... Randalls walks
out, under the video wall, staring at the ring, cracking a demented
smile.) BB: And here he
comes... SB: Miss
BB: I hope he hears
you. SB: Hide me. BB: Randalls is walking down to the ring, and he hops up to
the apron, steps in between the ropes. (CUT TO: A fan behind Randalls
marking out, wearing a wolf mask.) And JJ DeVille looks REALLY scared
right now. SB: He’s such a
good housekeeper for Eddy. I hope nothing happens for him. BB: Randalls is
wrenching his hands... and JJ is besides himself in fear, begging
Randalls! Randalls charges JJ-- CLOTHESLINE THAT SENDS DEVILLE OVER TO THE
FLOOR! SB: JJ DeVille, we
hardly knew ye. BB: That’s not
stopping Randalls! Randalls is following JJ out, and JJ is trying to run
away. Randalls is charging after him-- WHAT! THAT PERSON IN THE WOLF MASK
JUST JUMPED RANDALLS! HE’S POUNDING ON RANDALLS! JJ IS LAUGHING AT
RANDALLS! SB: YES! YES! BB: The mask comes
off... (The crowd starts to chant... ED-DY ED-DY ED-DY) IT’S EDDY LOVE!
IT’S THE HURRICANE! SB: THERE IS A
GOD! BB: EDDY NOW DDT’S
RANDALLS ONTO THE FLOOR! HE YELLS TO JJ-- JJ HOPS THE RAILING AND HAS A
GYM BAG! BB: Eddy Love is
going through the bag and is handing something to JJ... THEY’RE PUTTING
SB: Now he’s
pretty! BB: Eddy just put
Randalls’ hair in pigtails! JJ has a dress of some sort! They’re putting
over Randalls body-- they’re trying to dress Randalls up like a
girl! SB: That’s what you
get for taking the man’s hair! BB: Eddy stomping
on Randalls now... and he raises his hands in triumph! Eddy Love just
jumped Mike Randalls and dressed him up like a woman! How
humiliating! SB: That’s called
revenge! SB: And if you ask
these fans... Mike Randalls deserved it! (CROWD: ED-DY! ED-DY! ED-DY!)
Folks... when these two finally get in the ring with each other... it’s
going to be a WAR! (CUT TO: The CSWA
ring is now adorned with a decorative black rug. In the center of the ring
stands a table. On the middle of this table sits a large gold plate that
is propping up the 24-pound gold and diamond laced CSWA World Title belt,
glistening in the spotlight. Behind this table, in a tuxedo, is CSWA
President and CEO Chad Merritt, with a microphone in his hand.) MERRITT: Ladies and
gentlemen, if I may please have your attention. (The crowd gets up and
starts to make a lot of noise... the applause starts to reign and it
slowly builds into a chant of RAD-DER. RAD-DER. RAD-DER. RAD-DER.) Please,
if I may have-- (The crowd continues the chant, and Merritt smiles--
letting the crowd die down naturally.) Thank you.
(As Radder’s music plays, the lights dim. The video wall
shows various shots of Radder-- walking to the ring, climbing to the top
rope, hitting a German Suplex. Then the screen reads in blue letters
I-C-E-M-A-N, where it is frozen and then it EXPLODES. At that time, a
spotlight comes on and there stands Steve Radder, hands raised
triumphantly. The crowd is chanting Rad-der, Rad-der, Rad-der. Radder
looks around at the fans, points towards the upper deck, and then waits
for the cue. Up and down the aisleway, a million flashbulb style fireworks
go off. Radder then jogs down to the ring, running up the steps to the
ring apron, where he turns around one more time, finally entering the
ring.) BB: WHAT AN OVATION
FOR THE NEW WORLD CHAMPION! I CAN BARELY HERE MYSELF THINK! SB: Sno-Cone sure
takes his time getting to the ring! RADDER:
MERRITT: Steve
Radder... there isn’t a whole lot I can say other than congratulations.
And there isn’t a whole lot I can do.... other than present you with the
CSWA World Title... (Radder jumps at that comment, and shakes the top rope as
the crowd’s applause once again rings out. Merritt grabs the title, and
holds it over his head. Radder, still excited like a Little Leaguer who
just hit a game winning home run, turns around as Merritt straps the belt
around his waist. Flashbulbs from cameras across the arena pop at the
moment. Radder turns around once the title is around his waist and climbs
a turnbuckle. Merritt applauds, as the arena does the same.) BB: This moment is
one that CSWA fans will always remember. Steve Radder, perhaps the biggest
longshot entering the IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS Tournament, walked out as the
CSWA World Champion! SB: He’ll always be
Sno-Cone to me... world champion or not! (The audience
continues to cheer as Radder makes his way from corner to corner. CUE UP:
"Let’s Go All the Way" by ICP. The crowd BUGS out as "Good God" Kevin
Powers walks out smugly... Radder, now holding the title on his shoulder,
stops and stares at him, letting out a smug little smile of his own.
Powers mosies his way to the ring, wipes his feet on the ring apron and
steps over the top rope, grabbing a house mic from a CSWA
attendant.) BB: Kevin Powers is
a man of surprises tonight! SB: Isn’t he gone yet? I thought he retired? POWERS: Well... if
it isn’t my gooooood friend... my olllllld friend... The Iceman himself,
Steve Radder. The biiiiig man, all 135 pounds of him... with a world
title! RADDER: Listen,
Kev. I was in the back when you came out here before. I know things have
been difficult for you. I know what went down with Randalls. But tonight’s
not the night for this-- POWERS: Iceman... I
didn’t come out here to fight you. Not tonight, anyways... How long have
we rolled together? A couple years? PLR? Well, Radder... I don’t think
I’ve ever seen a bigger ovation ever given to anyone. And I gotta say...
you deserve it. (The crowd starts to applaud. Powers turns around and
motions for them to give it up. Radder stands, still not knowing what is
going on.) POWERS: But Radder, you also gotta admit... you got
EXTREMELY lucky. But just as lady luck rode on your shoulders... she never
seems to ride on mine. RADDER: Listen,
Kev-- POWERS: No, YOU
listen, Radder. Because I got something to say. I came out here before and
told everyone that I only have a few months left here in the CSWA... and
that’s true. The CSWA won’t have Kevin Powers to kick around anymore, once
I’m gone... but before I leave this place once and for all... I’m going to
be able to say that I’ve been World Champ! And, Radder... (Powers stands
right up to Radder, points his finger on the title and pushes off, making
Radder take a step or two back.) I plan on taking the title from
you! BB: Wow! Kevin
Powers issuing a declaration to Steve Radder, his former ally. POWERS: Because, I
know I-- RADDER: KP, with
all due respect... but I think it’s about time you shut the hell up. A lot
of people don’t think I deserve this title... but I’m going to prove them
all wrong. I’mis going to show the world that I just don’t deserve this
title... but I’m going to show the world that I’m going to be the greatest
champion of all time. Powers, my man... this is MY night. Pal... you HAD
your chance to have a night like this... and frankly... YOU (Radder pushes
Powers with his hand) blew it. POWERS: Oh yeah? I
did? I did? RADDER: Yeah, you
did. (Both Powers and
Radder are jawing with each other, toe to toe. The crowd is SCREAMING, and
a lot of flashbulbs pop from fans. Merritt gets in between both of them
right when they are about to go at it.) POWERS: (Backs down
a little bit, grabs Merritt’s tie hard, then relaxes.) Merritt... you’re
right. I know what it’s like to have been SCREWED... and I’m not about to
do that to Little Stevie. He earned that title... and I’m going to earn
mine... RADDER: Well,
Powers... I’m going to be a fighting champion. And you know what they say.
The bigger they come... the harder they fall. But until then...
(Radder extends his hand, and Powers grabs it, and they
shake hands. The crowd erupts at that. The two are saying something to
each other that can’t be heard. CUE UP: "Spirit In The Sky" by Norman
Greenbaum. The crowd starts to really get loud now. A mysterious and smoky
dry ice effect starts in the aisleway as the video wall turns black with a
yellow ? in the middle of it, followed by the word CARDIGO. Cardigo
Mysterian, clad in his mask, wearing a suit, holding a briefcase, walks
out to the slow rhythm of the music. Cardigo walks to the ring,
non-chalantly, walking over the rope just like Powers did, staring at
Radder, then Powers, then Merritt, then grabs Merritt’s mic. More
flashbulbs from the crowd.) BB: THIS PLACE IS
ELECTRIC. STEVE RADDER! KEVIN POWERS! CARDIGO MYSTERIAN! ALL THREE OF
THESE GUYS ARE LOVED BY SOME SEGMENT OF OUR FAN BASE... AND ALL THREE ARE
IN THE RING RIGHT NOW! CARDIGO: Friends...
I don’t know if you two have been paying attention to my story at all, but
if you have... you would have learned that this is a sport where you don’t
HAVE friends. This is a sport where the POWER BROKERS... the corrupt
PUPPET MASTERS like HIM (Points at Merritt) control you, break you... they
make you face your own brother in the ring and take away the only thing
you have, your family... and then they ignore you when you suffer your
penance, alone, addicted, struggling… CARDIGO: No, YOU
listen, Radder. This might be your night... but this is MY time. (The
crowd ERUPTS at that line.) You stand here celebrating about defeating the
odds, overcoming hardship. Kevin Powers stands here, talking about how
he’s been screwed. Well, let me tell you BOTH something. Neither of you
know what hardship is. Neither of you know what being screwed is. Since
I’ve come back from the depths from where I lurked... I’ve done nothing
but claw my way back up. And with each passing day, I get stronger and
stronger... feeding off the people who kept me down for so long. Ask
anyone who has been in the ring with me... Cardigo Mysterian is a force
that isn’t only to be reckoned with... he is a force that can’t be
stopped. I’ve been writing my story for years... and I don’t know if
you’ve been paying attention to it. Because sooner or later, the best part
hasn’t been written yet. That’s the chapter where all the soldiers of the
battlefield lay dead... except for one... and he looks down on them,
triumphantly... wearing his mask... holding a briefcase in one hand... and
holding the CSWA World Title in the other. POWERS: Well,
Cardigo... it looks like you’re going to have to wait your turn. We’ve all
heard your little pity party enough... because if you want to be World
Champ, you’re going to have to beat me first! Because HE’S (points to
Radder) mine. RADDER: And like I
told you before, big boy... and you listen up to, if you can hear
underneath that mask of yours... I’m not out here to just defend my title.
I’m out here to cement my place in history. The world is going to see that
The Iceman isn’t some fluke champion. The world is going to see that The
Iceman is the ONLY champion. (Radder holds his
title over his head, and the crowd goes nuts, chanting RAD-DER over and
over. Cardigo raises his briefcase like he’s about to strike, but Powers
steps in front of Radder, gesturing to Cardigo to swing at him. Radder
then shoves Powers and yells at him. Then the three of them get in each
other’s faces, jawing. The table in the ring before gets knocked over in
the near-fracas.) MERRITT: SECURITY!
SECURITY! BB: FANS! THESE
THREE ARE ABOUT TO TAKE EACH OTHER APART! WE’VE GOT TO GO! Thanks to
Gregg and Mikey P for all their help. Sorry the format's slightly
less 'pretty,'
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