CSWA PRIMETIME in Phoenix
August 14, 2000

Chris Petty gets a surprise!
And surprise, surprise...Alex Wylde has something to say!

 

(Kevin Powers and Apocalypse are deep backstage with Miso and Fairhurst.  The camera can't pick up the audio, but it does show Powers throw a nearby monitor against the wall.  After this show of rage, Powers opens an outside door...apparently looking for something.)

BB:  Welcome back fans.  Up next, we're scheduled to have an interview with the team that might be the next Unified Tag Team Champs, if Commissioner Merritt ever decides to tell us what the situation with the titles is.  We know that The Dark Carnival has been eliminated from contention, but.....hold on, let's head to the back!

(As Simply Stunning stands in the 'ready area' backstage, Colt and Beretta once again attack from behind, sending Hardy and Wilcox into the makeshift wall.  Beretta powerbombs Wilcox through a table, while Colt levels Hardy with the tag team title belt he took from Powers.  Colt grabs the other Unified Tag belt that was over Hardy's shoulder, then SWAT Team heads to the back.)

SB:  You know what hey say, possession is nine-tenths of the law.

BB:  It looks like Colt and Beretta have made their claim to the Unified Tag Team Titles!  

SB:  And it looks like we don't have to hear Simply Stunning drone on for ten minutes!

 

Chris Petty and Mark Davis vs. 
Byron Blair and Mystery Partner

BB: Okay….up next is an interesting match as Chris Petty and Mark Davis go up against Byron Blair and a partner of his choice.

(Chris Petty’s music plays and he walks out to a decent reception from the crowd, he walks down to the ring and shakes hands with a few kids at ringside before climbing into the ring.)

BB: Hang on folks...we've got to go to the back one more time!

(The camera cuts to the back where Mark Davis is seen lying on the floor with a steel chair lying on his face with blood trickling over the floor. He is moaning in pain as the EMT’s are tending to him, in the background Kevin Powers and Apocalypse step over him as they go down the opposite hallway.  Tom Adler is shown walking towards the ready area..)

BB: Who did that to Mark Davis!?  What the.... did The Dark Carnival do it?  Did Adler?

SB: It looks like you may get the chance to ask him yourself…..look.

(Tom Adler walks down to ringside with a smile on his face as the fans jeer him.  He walks past Petty and shrugs his shoulders before sitting down at the commentators' table and putting a headset on.)

A: What's this guy's problem?

SB: Well…..his tag team partner has been hospitalized for one?!  Buckley thinks you did it….don’t you Buckley?!?!

BB: Well….I suggested maybe…..you were the around when it was done.

A: Buckley, is it my fault if I walk past as Davis has had his ass kicked?!?!

BB: Well whatever, all I know is that Chris Petty is going to have to fight Byron Blair and his mystery partner two against one.

(Byron Blair’s music is queued up and he walks to the ring looking quite amused at what has happened to Davis. He gets into the ring and calls for a mic, which Contessa brings to him.)

Blair: Now I saw what happened to your partner…I mean EX-partner…  However, this is still technically a tag match so without further ado let me introduce my partner………….SUMO SHAMU!!!!!!!

(The crowd look puzzled as pyros go off as a tall, fat guy walks down the ring, he looks 6’2" and must weigh around 450lbs. He wears blue spandex wrestling tights that allow everyone to see his large posterior. He waddles to the ring and high fives Blair.)

BB: Petty is fighting Blair and….HIM?!?!

SB: Aw quit whining and let's get this going.

A: I see you haven't changed since I've been gone, Sammy.  The same great commentator as ever.

SB: I could say the same for you, Tommy boy.  Hey...that wasn't a compliment, was it?

A: Speaking of great commentators...I think it's time that somebody brought up the huge loss in this sport.  Gordon Solie was the best…the only man in this industry who ever deserved to be called something greater than magnificent.

BB: Hear hear.

SB: Err…..okay.

BB: Petty looks like he’s calling Blair and…err….Shamu on!

SB: The crazy fool!

BB: Petty and Blair lock it up, Petty with a headlock into an armbar as Blair reverses it and sends Petty into the ropes….Shamu with a right hand across Petty’s head and Petty is telling the referee about it.

A: This is going to get ugly quick.

BB: Petty with a quick dropkick to Blair and he follows up with a barrage of right hands, he whips Blair into the ropes, a quick tag by Blair….POWERSLAM BY PETTY….BUT HE WALKS INTO A BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX BY SHAMU! Petty rolls out of the ring and he looks less than happy with the match, now he’s speaking to the referee….and I don’t blame him, this isn’t fair!

A: Ok, ok... ANYTHING to stop your whining, Buckley!

(Adler grabs a house mic)

A; You know what? Petty... I've got a solution to your problem.  (Adler takes off his headset and t-shirt and hops up onto the apron)

BB: It looks like Adler is going to take Mark Davis's place.  Does anybody else think this is all just a little too convenient?

SB: Don’t ask me, I’m as confused as you are.  Plus...I could care less.

BB: Anyway, Adler is in the ring with Shamu, they go to lock up, Adler with a chop block on Shamu, who drops to his knees.   Big European uppercuts by Adler which drop Shamu as the former champ starts to stomp on Shamu’s knee. Adler is relentless with his assault and Shamu is grabbing at his knee in pain. Figure four leglock by Adler, I’m surprised he can even wrap Shamu’s legs round his!

SB: Hey….less of your…..err….weight-ist…..comments!

BB: What?

SB: You heard!

BB: Petty doesn’t look happy at Adler being his partner and slaps him across the back of the head for the tag!  He comes in and starts to stomp away at Shamu.

SB: Ungrateful SOB! He was whining before about being on his own and this is how he repays Adler?!?!

BB: It was thanks to Adler that he is on his own to start with! Petty picks Shamu up and charges at him…..SAMOAN DROP BY SHAMU AND BOTH MEN ARE DOWN! SHAMU IS CRAWLING TO HIS CORNER AND TAGS IN BLAIR WHO GRABS PETTY AND DRILLS HIM WITH A JACKHAMMER! HE PICKS HIM UP AND WHIPS HIM INTO THE ROPES….SPINEBUSTER! WHAT A SPINEBUSTER FROM BLAIR AND THERE’S THE COVER…..1…….2……PETTY KICKS OUT!

SB: I don’t know, he gets Adler as his partner and he starts getting his butt kicked….

BB: You’re a harsh man Sammy……..Blair sets up Chris Petty against the ropes……..but Petty reverses it and starts pummeling Blair!  Blair gets monkey flipped halfway across the ring and quickly tags in Sumo Shamu!  The big man comes in.....and it looks like Blair is leaving!  He's jumped off the apron, grabbed Contessa, and he's leaving this match!

SB:  Smart man.

BB:  Petty catches Shamu with a kick to the midsection which doubles the big man over....DDT by Petty!  Shamu rolls toward his corner...but no one's there!  Petty hits Shamu with a dropkick that slams him into the corner hard.  Rolling DDT by Petty...he goes for the cover....ONE........TWO.......THREE!!!  Chris Petty gets the win!  Tom Adler climbs into the ring to get his hand raised by referee.....HE LEVELS PETTY WITH A CLOTHESLINE!  Adler drags Petty toward the corner and wraps his legs around the post.....he's hooking in the figure four on the post!!!  What is Adler doing!?

SB:  Adler doesn't like it when the spotlight moves off of him, Buckley, you know that.

BB:  Petty is obviously in pain, but there's no way for him to get out of this one...and it doesn't look like anybody's coming to his aid.  This doesn't make any sense...why would Adler tag up with Petty only to beat him up afterwards?

SB:  It's all ego...and Adler's a World Champ in that.

BB:  We've got a slew of security coming down now to break this up.  We're going to go to the interview platform where I think Rudy Seitzer is with Alex Wylde.


RS:  Thanks Bill.  I'm here with Alex Wylde, who...

WYLDE: That's enough, Rudy.  Ladies and gentlemen of the CSWA...I don't expect you to like me. I know you don't like me. You think Alex Wylde is arrogant, cocky, conceited...and all of the other words. The fact is that's not why you don't like me. You don't like me because I'm better than you. You don't like me because I'm a better athlete...I have more discipline...and I'm more intelligent than every one of you in the seats and every person in that locker room, from the suits to the secretaries...and I don't hide it. 

Chad Merritt doesn't like me...Steve Thomas doesn't like me...I can tell from the way he looks at me that he's only being friendly to avoid a lawsuit. But they put me out here because they have no choice but to market my personality...to sell my in-ring product. They know that I just like that they can't stand me and my personality... nobody out here can either. They gladly watch me sign myself into a steel cage with Mike Randalls...because they wanted to see Mike Randalls beat me, they wanted to see somebody shut me up, and they knew you'd be willing to pay to see it. 

I have this title...the Presidential Title...and I want to use this belt to prove to the world that I am the BEST wrestler on this roster. But I can't do it. When I try to entice the best to face me...the title isn't put on the line...and when the belt is...I'm signed against men who aren't fit to lick my boots. Clearly, someone with some political power got the lucky one-up on me when I re-signed with this league and challenged the previous Presidential Champion. I should be the one and only star around here...but I can never be as long as I'm not given the chance to show how dominant I am. So...I am signed to defend against the top contender to the Presidential Title...Cameron Cruise at the very next card.

Don't tune in thinking Hornet, Randalls, or even Aaron Douglas or someone who doesn't like me will come down and cause me to lose, because I won't have it.  I'm wavering between completely dominating this man and injuring him to prove how dangerous it will be to put incompetents in the ring with me...or simply laying down and removing the only anchor keeping me from ascending to stardom. Don't you wish you all had the same dilemma? I'd like to end this with a trademark dramatic flair...but I have nothing to say other than you're all lucky that I'm here and the suits are lucky I'm not thinking of breaching my contract. Later.

BB:  After what Merritt did to The Dark Carnival tonight, Wylde may be lucky to leave the arena with the Presidential strap around his waist.

SB:  You just don't get it, do you, Buckley?

BB:  I guess not.  We'll be back after we pay some bills, folks.


Onto Part 3 of PRIMETIME