(V/O:  U-62, your sports television network, now breaks into current programming to bring you a live press conference by CSWA Commissioner Chad Merritt from the Merritt Auditorium in Greensboro, North Carolina.)

(The camera fades in to the press room in the Merritt Auditorium, connected to the CSWA corporate headquarters.  The podium stands empty, but a door to the right opens and Commissioner Merritt enters and takes the podium.)

Thank you all for coming.  I know there have been enough press conferences elsewhere in this country lately.  And while this one certainly isn’t as important, it may hold as much significance for wrestling fans.

I’m sure by now you are all aware of the statement released by Deacon and his physician.  We’re still not aware of the full implications of Deacon’s diagnosis.  I’ve spoken with both Deacon and Chris Shepherd on the phone over the last few days, specifically to make them aware that their place in the CSWA is secure, and that our thoughts and prayers are with Deacon, along with any support we can give. 

That having been said, Deacon and I also discussed the immediate future of the CSWA World Championship.  Deacon feels that he needs to take some time to spend with his family, while he and his doctors discover how MS is going to change his way of life.  I completely understand and agree with his decision.  And while I wish it weren’t necessary, it’s my duty to announce that the CSWA Championship Committee, including myself, has decided to vacate the CSWA World Championship, effective immediately.

(Camera flashes go off as Merritt holds up the World Title.)

Again, let me give my thanks to Deacon.  He has been a model World Champion, taking on everyone that’s been thrown against him.  I hope that we’ll find another champion of his caliber very soon.  In order to do that, I’m announcing that a new CSWA World Champion will be crowned at our next pay-per-view:  ELVIS LIVES XII, which will be held in Nashville’s 67,000-seat Adelphia Stadium.  And if it rains, well, I guess we’re screwed.  (The reporters and other audience members laugh.)

EL12 will feature the finals of the fifth-ever IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS.  This will be a true round-robin tournament featuring six competitors.  The early rounds of the IOC will take place on the “Swimming Upstream 2000 Tour” events leading up to ELVIS LIVES.  The six competitors are as follows:  former CSWA World Champion Eddy Love, former United States Champion Kevin Powers, former US Champion Lawrence Stanley, former US Champion Steve Radder, current US Champion Havoc, and former Unified World Champion Mike Randalls.

I know some of those names may come as a shock to some of you, but I think they represent six of the best wrestlers in the CSWA today.  The IRONMAN begins at SHOWTIME in Birmingham with Randalls vs. Powers, Radder vs. Stanley, and Love vs. Havoc.

At this time, I’m prepared to take any questions you may have about….

(Merritt breaks off as the ClaimStakers, Mike Randalls, Hornet and Eli Flair, enter the room.)

This press conference is over.  Have a good day.

(Merritt is hustled out of the room by CSWA staff as the ClaimStakers appear to make their way to the podium.)

V/O:  This has been a special presentation by the CSWA and U-62.  We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming, already in progress.

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