June 26, 1999
Main Event: Apocalypse vs. Aaron Douglas's Mystery Opponent
(Fadein: Damien Xeno has appropriated a large dressing room of his own in the recesses of the Tampa Sportatorium. Inside, the lights are dimmed as Xeno is surrounded by a virtual platoon of 'monks,' each with their hoods drawn. He speaks to them all, then begins mumbling softly to a monk at his right. None of his words are intelligible, except to his listeners.) (fadeout)
(As the camera pans over the crowded Tampa Sportatorium, the world-famous CSWA light show spectacular rages on, as Bill Buckley struggles to make himself heard.)
BB: Folks, nothing fancy tonight, no huge video packages, no music videos....it's straight-up RASSLIN tonight.
SB: I really hate it when he gets like this.
BB: It's just like the old days, Sammy....you and I, together again...oil and water.
SB: And you're the oil....just look at the grease coming off your forehead!
BB: That's enough. Fans, we're are on the Road to ANNIVERSARY 1999: Revelation. Tonight's stop is here in the Tampa Sportatorium, before we move on to SHOWTIME in Atlanta's sold-out Georgia Dome! If you didn't get tickets weeks ago...then you'll have to join us here on U-62 this weekend! But tonight folks, we're glad you can be a part of this special edition of CSWA PRIMETIME in Tampa. I know we say it each and every time, but what a card we've got lined up for you. Along with a bevy of new and returning stars, we've got FIVE members of the upcoming IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS here tonight, with Deacon taking on Jared Wells in our first match!
SB: And joy of joys, we get to hear an exclusive interview from Mr. Business himself, Hornet. I'm all a-tingle.
BB: The Powers of Love see if they can keep it together to defend the Unified Tag straps against Bobby Jackson and the Crippler; and Mark Vizzack gets a pre-ANNIVERSARY test from impressive youngster "Hard Chargin" Matt Dexter. In "One More Time" action, we've got the ongoing feud between Cool Moe D and Blade. And speaking of the Unholy...Dante Inferno is set in action tonight against debuting Lawrence Stanley.
SB: And let's not forget........and I'm really excited about this one....Rudy Seitzer is going to have to get in the ring and get demolished by two guys who hate his guts!
BB: Sammy....you know better...there is....
SB: Yeah, yeah....."there is no proof that Rudy Seitzer is the Hooded Falcon". Well, I'm making a prediction Buckley....tonight, I get my proof!
BB: Oh dear....another Sammy Benson exclusive. Fans, let's cut the chatter and get to the ring!
Deacon vs. "The Rage" Jared Wells
BB: CSWA PRIMETIME kicks off with a man who is just over a week away from competing in the biggest event of his professional career, but may be in the most confusing time of his personal life. Deacon will ahve to face four of the top superstars in the world if he hopes to walk away as the CSWA World Champion at ANNIVERSARY.
SB: Yeah, but tonight he's got to go through a man who is no slouch and is already in the ring. Wells has held many a gold strap on the independent circuit.
BB: And here comes Deacon now. It looks like he's got a new entrance, Sammy....instead of crosses, we've got all manner of stars popping up as the lights shoot around the arena. Deacon comes out with his traditional grab on, hood down as he slowly makes his way to the center of the ring. I'm not sure what kind of influence this Damien Xeno is exerting on Deacon....but hopefully it's helping him deal with the tragic circumstances that we saw befall Chris Shepherd at SHOWTIME.
SB: Tragic for Shepherd, Buckley? The man was found, having stabbed a young woman to death, and you're calling what happened to Shepherd tragic?
BB: So far there's been no indictment, Sammy.....let's at least assume the man is innocent....
SB: Stop right there, Buckley, or I'm gonna kick you in the face. I didn't hear you saying all that when I was dragged away by the police for something I didn't do....
BB: (pauses) True...but you *wanted* to do it.
SB: Darn right....I still wish I had put that little midget out of his misery.
BB: You better hope the good folks at Green Valley aren't listening.
(Deacon stands in the middle of the ring, surrounded by a strange new 'star' symbol, rather than his regular cross lighting gel. He throws back the hood and seems a bit confused as fireworks shoot out of the ringposts and the lights come up).
BB: There's the bell, folks, and this one is underway. Wells quickly catches Deacon with a boot to the midsection. Snap mare takeover, and Wells hooks in a reverse chinlock. Deacon seems a bit bewildered, Sammy.
SB: Wouldn't you be too if you're best friend and advisor had murdered somebody in the last couple of weeks, Buckley?
BB: Point taken. Deacon powers out of the chinlock, but Wells maintains a headlock before sending Deacon into the ropes. Wells drops to the mat, forcing a leapfrog by Deacon, then springs to his feet, nailing Deacon with a hard right-armed clothesline. Wells only get a one-count with the early cover. Savat kick by the former WWL World Champion, followed by a huge spinning DDT!!! Juarez makes the cover.....ONE.......TWO..... no! Deacon kicks out!
SB: Isn't it nice to see Manuel Juarez back in the ring where he belongs?
BB: I can't say I missed the money-grubbing Cuban.
BB: I think Deacon may have gotten his wake up call with that last DDT. He catches Wells with a boot to the midsection, and then sends him up and over with a standing suplex. Deacon quickly gets to his feet and drops the elbow, and now works on keeping Wells down with a modified camel clutch. It looks like Deacon's new mentor, Damien Xeno, has decided to come down to ringside for moral support. It may be just what Deacon needs....he's used to having the Shepherd there for guidance as well. Deacon continues to work over Wells, sending him across for the ride......duck by Wells, flying lariat!!! Deacon's down, and Wells is headed up top. We all know what a career Wells has had already at a young age...but you'd almost have to call this one an upset....
SB: Not just yet you wouldn't!
BB: What is Xeno doing!? He's up on the apron saying something to Wells. (Xeno raises his arm and a jet of flame shoots out of his sleeve straight at Wells) What in the name of Chris Shepherd??? Xeno just attacked Wells with some sort of fire....Wells falls off the top rope, and he's clutching at his eyes. Deacon is up, and he grabs hold of Wells....ALTAR CALL! One.........two........three. Deacon gets the win, but these fans are irate, they're booing Deacon like....well, like he's Hornet or something! And Deacon doesn't know why.
SB: Yeah, I'll just bet. Come on, Buckley....you think Deacon would allow something like that without his knowledge? The man's a control freak.
BB: I don't know what's going on, Sammy....except that Xeno is leading Deacon back down aisle to a chorus of boos. This is unbelievable. CSWA medical staff has made it to Wells....he's on his feet, but he's still clutching at his eyes...I can only hope this great young star is alright. Fans, we're gonna take a break to sort this out... we'll be right back.
BB: Fans, we're back here on CSWA PRIMETIME in Tampa. We've received word that Jared Wells has been taken for treatment at a local facility, but the prognosis is good.
Duke Williams vs. Carl Brigsby
The fans didn't know quite what to think as this new big man came out for his debut wearing a Stetson, snakeskin boots, jeans and sunglasses. As the 327-pounder stepped into the ring, the former US Tag Champ didn't know what to think either. Brigsby took a step back, but Williams was ready, catching the smaller man in the throat with a right hand. Brigsby collapsed to the mat, but "The Malice Man" wouldn't let him out that easily, following with a sidewalk slam. Instead of taking the easy pin, Williams continued to show his dominance, powerbombing Brigsby hard to the mat before hooking in his patented version of the camel clutch, the "Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound." An impressive win for an imposing figure.
Alex Wylde vs. Wesley Paige
Wesley Paige faced another imposing opponent, as former CSWA rookie and member of the Tri-State Terrors, Alex Wylde, made his return to a CSWA ring after a long absence. This former World Champ in the indies showed why he has made a name for himself in the ring, toying with Paige early on before getting serious with a flying dropkick-snap suplex combination. Following with another combination, Wylde sent Paige down with a thrust kick and a piledriver before heading to the top rope. While Wylde has often been touted as a cruiserweight, it's obvious that he can take on anyone...especially if he hits them with The Wildcard Splash, as he did with Paige just before the one-two-three.
BB: Well, Wylde certainly hasn't lost a step....in fact, it looks like he's gained some valuable experience while he's been away. However, you've almost gotta wonder....Wylde took over Troy Windham's "Frat" when Windham left wrestling. Wylde's back....and we've seen Shawn Matthews, another former member of the Frat, running around.....hmmm.
SB: What's the man doing? He just dropped to his knees and pointed to the sky like he won the IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS or something!
BB: Give the man a break...he's back in the CSWA and celebrating a redebut win.
(Wylde continues to celebrate, going to each corner of the ring and pumping up the crowd. Ring announcer Rhubarb Jones tries to cajole Wylde out of the ring, but the wrestler ignores him.)
SB: Somebody get that boob outta the ring, we've got other matches. Oh my dear Lord....
(Wylde jumps into the arms of Rhubarb Jones, hand raised, imitating a pro soccer player who has just scored a goal)
BB: (laughing) You gotta love it folks.
SB: Um no, no they don't.
Pyro vs. HaVoC
BB: Up next, we've got two young stars. We've seen Pyro go up against the big boys already, trying to take on the likes of former CSWA World Champion Mark Vizzack.
SB: And earlier tonight, we saw the arrival of "HaVoC", making his debut here tonight against Pyro.
BB: That's right...this is a young man that's already had success in independent leagues like the HEW and others. Marvin, let's roll the footage.[CUT TO: Rear car entrance of the arena.]
(Fans cheer as HaVoC steps out of his black sedan, they seem to recognize him from his promos on TV. He wears a black form-fitting t-shirt with "CSWA" emblazoned across it and a pair of blue jeans. In one hand he carries a gym bag, in the other he carries what appears to be a large can.)
HaVoC: "It's definitely gonna be a hot night in Tampa. Pyro has no idea what's in store for him."
(He laughs as he walks out of the camera view.)
BB: Well, if anything, you've got to admire the confidence. Let's get to the match!
Pyro tried to make things go his way early, but HaVoC seemed to be a half-a-step ahead the whole way. As Pyro would swing around for a clothesline, HaVoC was already ducking. As Pyro went for dropkicks, HaVoC grabbed the ropes. Pyro got a hard swinging neckbreaker early, and followed HaVoC outside. The youngster seemed to take the upper hand, sending the former HEW World Champion hard into the steel ring post.... but then HaVoC made his move, grabbing the mysterious can out from under the ring and dousing Pyro with its contents. Pyro seemed blinded and dazed as the big man scooped him up with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker before rolling him back inside. Referee Patrick Young didn't seem to know what to make of things until HaVoC "dropped the H-Bomb," his devastating spinning powerbomb. Young counted the one-two-three.
BB: HaVoC's got the win...and now he's got the microphone.
HaVoC: It's like I say.....play with fire, and you have to expect to get burned. No one's safe from HaVoC, Pyro. And now it's time to see just how flammable you are!
BB: Wait a minute....he's got that can again and he's pouring it all over Pyro. It's gasoline!!!!
(HaVoC pulls a book of matches from his tights, lights one and brandishes it)
BB: Somebody put a stop to this! This is despicable! Marvin, get ready to cut the feed!
SB: This is entertainment, Buckley. Smoke 'em if ya got 'em!
(Security storms the ring, restraining HaVoC and pulling him out of the ring as he continues to yell at Pyro)
Ash Desmond vs. "Big Time" Michael Gettis
In another battle of debuting young stars, Gettis and Desmond hit the big time in a big way, showing a national audience exactly what they're made of. The "Big Tyma" from Greensboro, NC started with a major height and weight advantage, standing over one hundred pounds heavier than the "The Heavy Metal Madman." Gettis also maintained a managerial advantage, with the lovely Helen standing outside in his corner. Gettis used all this to his advantage, taking a commanding lead on the goateed cruiserweight with a techically perfect belly-to-belly into a russian arm bar. Desmond quickly used his wiry frame and agility to maneuver out, only to find himself caught in a release german suplex that left him dazed...but just long enough for a two-count. Ash bounded to his feet, sending Gettis into the corner with a series of knife edge chops. As Gettis charged back out of the corner, Desmond showed some of his martial arts background, drilling "Big Time" with a Bleeding Edge superkick that sent the big man down in the corner gasping for air.
Gettis kept his wits about him, along with help of Helen, rolling outside for a breather. Desmond remained inside, although threatened to jump from the top rope to the outside. Gettis broke the referee's ten-count, rolling inside, dodging another version of the superkick, before sending Desmond across the ring with a Japanese arm drag. Gettis followed with a standing bulldog, countering Desmond's speed, and keeping the lighter man on the mat with a modified half boston crab.
As Gettis retained the upper hand, "The English Gent" Lawrence Stanley decided to make his presence known. Coming down to ringside to a chorus of boos, Stanley appeared only to have eyes for Helen. As he began to talk to her, she quickly moved away, until an almost-chase ensued with Stanley propositioning Gettis' lovely manager. As the chase became more heated, so did the crowd, until Gettis was finally made aware. Gettis quickly dropped the submission hold, reaching through the top and middle ropes to try and grab hold of Stanley. As the referee tried to get Gettis back into the match, Desmond took advantage of the distraction to send the big man over with his iron butterfly suplex...showing huge power from the smaller man who rolled Gettis up for the quick three-count. Gettis had little time to be stunned by the loss, as he dove outside to protect Helen....but Stanley was already on his way up the ramp, blowing kisses at the lovely lady.
Dante Inferno vs. Lawrence Stanley
The co-leader of the Unholy, along with Silky Rose, met up with the debuting "English Gentleman" along with his manservant, Lord Alfred, coming down the aisle for already his second time tonight. The quiet big man took the reins early, using power to dominate the smaller Stanley. Inferno continued his control, dropping Stanley with a chokeslam early, but deciding not to go for the pin, as Lord Alfred and Silky Rose seemed about to get into things on the outside. As Alfred backed away and referee Ben Worthington turned his attention to Inferno and Rose, Alfred tossed his apparently-steel cane inside to Stanley, before jumping back on the apron to draw Worthington's attention. Stanley tried to level Inferno with the cane but missed, getting a heart punch for his troubles. But as Inferno followed Stanley into the corner, "The English Gent" was able to plant the cane in a not-so-gentlemanly fashion below Inferno's belt. Stanley quickly headed to the top with surprising quickness on his 320-pound frame, dropping Inferno with his Guillotine DDT for the one-two-three.
BB: I think we've got to call this one an upset, Benson.
SB: Oh, you think so? The leader of the Unholy just taken down by Lawrence Stanley......yeah, that's an upset.
BB: Stanley....and Lord Alfred's cane. Speaking of Lord Alfred....the man's bright...he's getting Stanley down the aisle and out of here as quickly as possible before the Unholy can get their revenge!
SB: Yeah, but look at Stanley, he's making it clear that he's dedicated this win to the lovely Helen!
BB: I'm sure Michael Gettis will have quite a bit to say....
SB: No...ya don't think he'll just let it slide? I'm shocked!
X-Rated vs. TJ Knuckles
These two men were well matched in size and strength, and apparently in ability. X-Rated came out with his manager and valet, Desire, while Knuckles came out with a desire of his own, to continue his ongoing winning streak. Knuckles demonstrated his power and ability against Pyro last week, and quickly did the same against X-Rated, sending the Long Beach brawler down with a suplex followed by a reverse neckbreaker. X-Rated responded, rolling through TJ's attempt at a powerbomb and sending Knuckles down with a face smash to the mat. X-Rated continued to use his momentum, dropping TJ with a jumping piledriver, but only getting a one count. The match continued for almost fifteen more minutes, each man taking a slight momentum advantage before the other countered. In the end, X-Rated used a jawbreaker to break free of Knuckles' sleeper hold. A quick five-star frogsplash from the top gave X-Rated his first win in the CSWA.
BB: Up next folks, we've got a special interview segment with Hornet from veteran CSWA commentator Stan Parsons. Stan, it's all yours.
(Cutto: Outside Hornet's lockerroom)
SP: Um, Bill, I'm sorry to say we've been unable to locate Hornet for this interview segment...I'm not sure...
BB: What? But he told me himself that he'd be here....
(The house lights go down as a woman's voice comes across the PA system)
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's time for what you've all been waiting for, the man you all came to see. The man who never goes to the fair and could care less about a d*mn teddy bear......the CSWA is proud to present THE LOVE SHOW!!!!! (cheesy theme music begins to play)
BB: Fans, I don't have ANY idea what's going on here.
(Poison Ivy appears in the spotlight)
Ivy: And that's why you need to sit down and keep quiet, Buckley. I just told you what's going on here. Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you the man who has made this sport what it is today, the one, the only, the host of THE LOVE SHOW.....HORNET!!!!!! ( a chorus of boos erupts, replaced by obviously-piped in applause. Hornet walks out in a suit and tie and sits down behind an interviewers' desk)
H: Welcome to THE LOVE SHOW, the only reason you LOVEly folks have come out tonight, right? (The piped-in applause resumes as the lights come up, revealing an entire set placed in front of the CSWA entranceway, complete with a backdrop of a skyline, potted plants, and two chairs next to Hornet's desk) First of all fans, I've got to thank the show's lovely and talented announcer, POISON IVY. Give it up for her, folks...she's wonderful (piped-in applause continues, just barely drowning out the boos). You know, normally I'd do my monologue for you folks, but you've already seen two, count-em TWO, big dumb silent goofs tonight... and I figure that's more entertainment than any one person's entitled to. Am I right? (piped-in laughtrack responds) I mean, come on, what could be better than to see an illiterate goon like Dante Inferno get taken out by the English version of the trick knee......except seeing everyone's favorite Mute Freak completely bewildered over which way to turn next? (laughs out loud as the chorus of boos gets louder and louder...apparently Hornet is the *only* one that finds his monologue funny)
Anyway, folks, before I go any further, I think it's time that you finally got to see what you paid for. You'll see him later tonight in tag team action, but it's time to bring out the man who owns this sport....the man who made this sport....the man who battled George Hackenschmidt over 100 years ago to make wrestling.....the man who SINGLE-HANDEDLY broke the code of silence and exposed that the CSWA does indeed not stand for Championship Wrestling Association......made up of mostly water and hot air as his nickname implies....this is the "Hurricane" himself.....EDDY LOVE!!!!! (The crowd stops booing for a few moments, as the noise is replaced by questioning chatter)
Aw come on out Eddy, don't be shy....the fans can't wait to see their one true champ....come on man. (music begins to play as JASON BATEMAN emerges from the curtain, wearing a blond wig) Eddy Love everybody, please give him a friendly Tampa welcome. (Hornet stands and shakes hands with Bateman; they both sit)
Eddy, it's a pleasure to have you out here tonight just before your match later on in the evening.
JB: Um, thanks Hornet, it's a....
H: Just a minute there, Eddy....something's not right. Hmmm....let me try something. (Hornet presses a button under his desk, and the desk and chair begin to rise....until he's sitting about four feet above Jason Bateman) Much better. So Eddy, tell us, exactly what is it with your Teddy Bear obsession? Were you abused as a child?
JB: (smiles, seems a bit nervous...and seems to be staring at cue cards just off screen) Well, you see Hornet, I was born to a poor family in backwoods South Carolina. I was beaten by my coal mining father until the day he died. And when he died, my cotton-picking momma blamed me for it every night as the rain dripped in through the fifty holes in our tin roof. I never had the small luxuries in life, Hornet. Not even a simple teddy bear. (wipes away a crocodile tear) I never had a teddy bear of my own that I could talk to, cry to, tell my dreams and wishes to. No, Hornet, I guess you could say I'm just a coal miner's daughter...I mean a son of a cotton-picking....I mean a.....
H: We know what you mean, Eddy. (pauses, sniffs) I'm sorry, folks, it's just that I'm so touched by the humiliating story of a great man like Eddy Love. But let's move on to greener pastures, Eddy. We all know that you escaped the coal mines and the cotton fields, and went on to become a CSWA World Champion like yours truly.
JB: (run his hand back and flips his long blond wig) Well, let's not go that far, Hornet.....(laughs)
H: (laughing) True, true. But things really turned around for you when you found that special woman in your life, didn't thy?
JB: You know it, champ.
H: And folks, without any further delay...let's bring out that special woman. Wait a sec...Ivy, I'm parched, where are the drinks?
Ivy: Coming out right now, Hornet.
H: Thanks, hon. Ladies and gentlemen, let's bring out the lovely SWEET MELISSA!
(Crowd reaction mixed with boos and laughter as NELL CARTER walks out.....three bottles of water are riding out on her backside. JASON BATEMAN stands to greet her, takes the water and puts it on the table before jumping into her arms and delivering a series of sloppy kisses.)
H: Well, well.....that's what you call real love, folks. (Carter sits down in the chair, barely, still holding Bateman in her lap)
NC: You better believe it, Hornet. This stud right here is all I need. Did you see what he did to the last man who bothered me?
H: I did indeed, Melissa. I don't think you have to worry about Steve Radder putting his hands on you again.
NC: His hands? Oh he didn't touch me....but he did take my last piece of cake. And you know in this business, the game is survival.....it's either eat or be eaten.
H: And no one would know about that better than you.
NC: (laughs) Hush up, Hornet.
H: Well I want to thank you both for being here....but we're out of time. Now it's time for our very special musical guests....I'm told that this band is up-and-coming, although their name sounds like something you'd have after you eat a bad piece of chicken. Ladies and gentlemen, along with special guest ELI FLAIR, here are ABREACTION!!!!!!
(The lights come up on a group of seals positioned in front of horns. ZAC HANSON, hair dyed pink, is trying to play drums and sing over the cacophony of bicycle horns and seal barking. As the hideous noise goes on...)
NC: When do we get paid?
H: Keep your shirt on Nell....please. Your checks are backstage. You don't think I'd cheat you, do you?
NC: No, honey....it's just that Jason and I need the money.....and the Pancake House down the street is only open til midnight.
H: It's only nine o'clock.
NC: Exactly....just barely enough time to get a full meal in.
(The 'song' stops....finally drowned out by crowd booing and chants. Young ZAC HANSON, apparently playing the part of Eli Flair, is in tears)
H: (clapping) Eli Flair and Abreaction, folks....weren't they just......something. Folks, my time here is almost up....(crowd erupts in cheers and applause)....and I've got time for just one other guest. At this time, it's my pleasure to bring out one of the greatest young superstars in the CSWA today, and the United States Champion......RANDY HARDERS!!!!!!
(Crowd laughs as a midget comes out in blue jeans, a jeans jacket and sunglasses, with a mini-replica of the US Title over his shoulder. He shakes hands with Hornet and sits down.)
H: It's great to have you here, Randy. I can't imagine anyone I'd love to have here more than an under-sized champ with an over-inflated ego. It's just sad that the US strap has to be degraded by being held by a talentless hack like you who can only make a name for himself by joining with idiots like the Unholy.
(Crowd begins to erupt as Randy Harders and Pat Black make their way around the side of the set to Hornet's back. The midget begins to point, trying to warn Hornet of the impending danger)
H: Yeah, yeah, I know you wanna be like Hornet, just like the rest of the 20,000 people in this building. But the fact is, you can't. You just.......(stops as Harders taps him on the shoulder. Hornet turns and gawks for a moment before Harders levels him off the raised set with a hard right hand. The midget runs for cover as Black looks his way.)
RH: You just made the biggest mistake of your life, Hornet. The Unholy doesn't exist to be mocked.
(Harders pulls Hornet to his feet and launches him into the nearest potted plant and through the backdrop. Hornet stumbles back through, only to be picked up and slammed against the desk. Black lifts the nearest chair and throws it toward the desk, barely missing Hornet as he rolls off onto the floor. Black and Harders continue their assault, putting the boots to Hornet in front of the trashed set. The crowd doesn't seem to know which way to react, generally booing all three men. They erupt in surprise as Billy Starr comes to Hornet's aid with a steel chair, clocking Black and chasing the two members of the Unholy off. Starr helps the battered Hornet to his feet and off the stage, as he looks around, apparently for Poison Ivy. The crowd cheers as what remains of "The LOVE Show" set is cleared.
BB: I don't have any idea what we just witnessed fans. I think Hornet may have finally gone off the deep end.
SB: Can somebody make sure Nell Carter's out of the building.....I'm really afraid of that woman. I can't believe the midget went anywhere near her.
SB: I mean, come on, she might see him as a snack!!! You saw Austin Powers didn't you?
BB: Fans....we'll be back.
Deacon is approached by the army of 'monks'. He is encircled, and one particularly petite one, steps up to him and wraps its arms around Deacon in a loving embrace. Deacon is puzzled and lifts the hood enough so he can see the face. Suddenly, he pushes the 'monk' away - his eyes wide with shock. He slowly gets to his feet as just as suddenly...One of the monks tosses his robe's hood down to reveal ... long black hair, he flips the hair out of his face that reveals a white 'formed' mask that covers the upper 1/2 of his face...his long black hair hanging wet around his shoulders. He places a rag around Deacon's face which promptly knocks the Silent Giant out. A black limo pulls up and this 'monk' tosses Deacon into the back of the car. The limo promptly leaves with both Deacon and this new 'monk'. Xeno however stays behind with these words...]
XENO: We have the other Janus, the moment is nigh at hand. [fadeout]
Wicked Sight vs. Hooded Falcon vs. Jesse Solomon
Jesse Solomon continued his winning ways in Albany, defeating Wicked Sight with the accidental help of the Hooded Falcon....leading to this very strange three-way dance match. Solomon and Sight seemed to put their dislike for one another aside, as they both waited impatiently in the ring for the appearance of the Hooded Falcon. The Falcon, appeared, but from above, attacking both men from behind with some sort of staff. However, the Hooded Falcon quickly found himself leveled with the staff as Sight and Solomon executed a double clothesline that seemed to knock the smaller man down and out. Solomon and Sight then found themselves in opposite corners again, with Solomon catching Sight with a snap suplex before resorting to a choke hold. Breaking just before the five-count, Solomon quickly got to his feet, leaving Sight gasping. Lying in wait, Solomon leveled Wicked Sight with a running forearm as the slightly larger man climbed to his feet. But Solomon still only garnered a two-count, as referee Ben Worthington judged Sight's right shoulder to be up just before the three-count. Sight continued to get pounded, as Solomon kept the pace up, but continued only to get a series of two-counts. Finally, Solomon seemed to have the match in hand, setting up for his Crucifier submission hold.....when the Hooded Falcon reared his probably-ugly little head. Apparently playing possum, the Falcon caught Solomon full-on in the back of the head with the cane, forcing him to drop the Crucified, and allowing Wicked Sight to roll over for the pinfall. Sight avenges his loss from Albany....this time with the help of the Hooded Falcon.
THE UNIFIED TAG TEAM TITLES:
BB: Bobby Jackson and Crippler have made their way down to the ring...and you can tell these two young men are pumped for this shot at the top prize in tag team competition.
SB: They won't be half so jacked after Eddy Love shows them what being a tag team champion means. They're in for the beating of their lives, Buckley.
BB: I don't know, Sammy....we know that teamwork hasn't been the forte of the Powers of Love lately.
(Cueup: "(Can't You) Trip Like I Do" -- Filter & The Crystal Method)
BB: And here comes the former US Champ himself. Sammy, I still can't get used to seeing 'Good God' come down without Susan and Gina.
SB: Apparently neither can he.....that is one angry man.
BB: Apocalypse better hope and pray that Aaron Douglas hasn't found some way to make Kevin Powers the mystery opponent for Apocalypse later tonight.
SB: Wake me up if that happens....cause I'm outta here.
BB: The big man is in the ring as we wait for Eddy Love to join him. I can't even fathom what's going on between these two, Sammy. Love attacked Radder, severely injuring the young former US Champ; he's had some pretty harsh things to say about the way Powers has dealt with the tragedies befalling Susan and Gina... not to mention the fact that there's a very good chance these two men will face each other in the IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS coming up in just over a week. It may be too much even for the Powers of Love, Sammy.
SB: Eddy can handle it, Buckley. The question is: can Kevin Powers?
BB: Speaking of Eddy.....we've been waiting, his music is cued up, but the word we're getting from the back is that the former World Champ is nowhere to be found. Referee Patrick Young is talking to Powers, apparently asking him where his partner is. Powers shrugs his shoulders as he stands on the apron, and now it looks like Young is ordering him to start the match....and he begins a standing ten-count! (on mic) Somebody tell Stan Parsons to find out what's going with Eddy Love?
SB: He's probably indisposed, Buckley....he's a busy man you know.
BB: It looks like Bobby Jackson will start things off against Powers. Two against one to open the show, Sammy. You know Love, any scoops before Parsons finds him?
SB: For starters, don't bet the farm that Parsons will find Eddy. The man has a hard time finding his pants in the morning.
::Jackson opens up with a right hand to Powers' jaw. Bobby dips Kevin off the ropes, and across the ring. Powers ducks the flying body press and Jackson shoots between the ropes to the mat outside the ring::
BB: Sammy, that wasn't funny. Sorry, not in the least. As young Bobby Jackson takes a nasty spill outside! Powers wastes no time in heading out there himself.
SB: Wasn't meant to be, Buckley the man actually has trouble finding his pants in the morning. The stories of him searching bars he frequented the previous night are legendary.
:::Powers rams Bobby's head into the security railing::
BB: Jackson take a shot at the hands of Kevin Powers! The Crippler makes his way to Bobby before Powers can aflict any more damage!
::Powers rolls back in the ringl. A few seconds pass, and the Crippler helps Jackson back in as well::
BB: Powers right away on top of Jackson! Hooks the tighs, vertical suplex! OH! He's popped in the mush by The Crippler! Powers stood a little too close to the wrong corner to savor the moment and it cost him dearly!
SB: Buckley let me ask you a question, that doesn't pertain to the match at hand.
::Kevin steadies to his feet and begins to make his way towards Jackson. He turns and is nailed with an axe handle smash by Jackson. Bobby collects himself then tags in the Crippler::
BB: The Crippler over the top rope and into the ring! He shoots Powers across the ring......a vicious power slam! Worthington with the count...
:::2 count from Ben::
BB: A near fall! We almost had new champions!
SB: Thank the good lord we didn't.. well Buckley...
::The Crippler hooks in a cross face chicken wing::
BB: Submission move by the Crippler! Powers facing two men, hasn't got much of a chance. Even as good as he is. Sammy can we please keep matters on business at hand.
SB: After 11 years you still have to ask that?
::Powers struggles but can't move close enough to the ropes::
BB: Good point. What is it?
::Eddy Love and Sweet Melissa begin to make their way to the ring::
SB: Is there any truth to the rumor that John Schneider from the Dukes Of Hazzard will be our third man at Anniversary?
::the crowd stands to it's feet in anticaption with Eddy and Mellissa's arrival. Eddy heads to Kevin's corner, while Melissa makes a path for the broadcast booth::
BB: You've been watching TNN again haven't you?
::The Crippler releases. Stands Powers up, and drops him with a short arm clothesline::
SB: Yeah and what in the name of all that's good and pure has happened to Catherine Bach?
::Sweet Melissa sits to Buckley's left, and slips on a headset::
BB: The Crippler tags Bobby Jackson. Jackson shoots Powers off the ropes, both men lift Kevin in the air and then drop him straight down. We're joined now by Sweet Melissa. About 10 minutes in realizing you had a tag mach, huh?
SM: Sammy, are you losing weight?
SB: I'd give up a day's worth of beer for one night...
BB: Good grief man we're on national tv.
::Jackson executes a swinging reverse neckbreaker::
SM: It's okay Bill, surely the kids are bed by now. What were you about to say Bennie Boy?
BB: Bennie boy? I hate my life.
::Jackson grabs Kevin's legs and hooks in a boston crab::
SM: To answer you question Bill, and by the way that tie is lovely. Our tardiness is related to #1 Eddy's hair came out of the shower a little flatter than he likes for it to appear.
::Eddy sticks one foot inside the ring then quickly pulls it out as if he was about to break up the move. He contiunes to be very causal regarding the match::
SM: #2 Eddy was already running behind because he had assumed that his match was the main event.
SB: And doll face it should have been. Didn't I say that earlier Buckley?
::Jackson drops the hold. And tags the Crippler. The Crippler heads to the top rope. Powers is too weak to move out of the way, as he's hit with a leg drop::
SM: And finally #3 Eddy had been on a tight schedule due to a less than holy business appointment.
BB: Not quite sure what that means...but that doesn't excuse what Kevin Powers is going through in the middle of the ring! The titles are at stake, Melissa!
SB: Dont' raise your voice, Buckley.
SM: Thank you Bennie.
BB: The Crippler tags Jackson in, and hoists Powers up on his shoudler! Sammy top rope DDT if i'm not mistaken!
SB: Most likely you are. Good gracious look at the dress, man.
::Bobby comes off the top and DDT's Powers head into the mat. Before ref Worthington could squat and make the count Eddy slips through the ropes, reaches in his tights and clubs Ben with something over the head. Knocking him out cold. Love then steps back through the ropes::
BB: Jackson has Powers pinned, but Eddy just knocked out Ben Worthington! For Pete's sake! The Crippler tries to revive Worthington, and mygosh LOVE JUST BLASTED HIM OVER THE HEAD AS WELL! What the heck is that?
SM: It's a really old Slim Jim, Bill. Hard as a rock. Shyeah. None of your business.
::Melissa leaves the table. Eddy steps in the ring and is meet by Bobby Jackson. Jackson has Eddy backed into a corner firing away!::
BB: Sweet Melissa just hit the ring, what is she doing in there?
SB: Watch and learn Buckley, it's gettin good!
::Melissa delivers a roundhouse kick to the back of Jackson's head. He stumbles around and she kicks him in the groin. Love then throws him outside::
SB: The lost art of the groin shot! Beautiful!
::Eddy pulls Powers on the Crippler, as a backup ref runs down::
BB: That's Manuel Juarez! What in the bloody....
BB: What in the world is he doing here? Heavens no, he's going to count the pin!
::Juarez looks at Eddy and Melissa in the ring...looks at the fans and then counts 1...2....3:::
BB: A debacle at the hands of Love, and Powers again.
SB: Don't forget Melissa...and Juarez he helped too.
BB: For sure. This is sick. Powers of Love retain. We've gotta take a break. Gracious.
(Benson looks at Melissa who glances back)
SB: (hopeful) Call me...
Mark Vizzack vs.
(Cueup: "Save Yourself" - Stabbing Westward)
BB: Matt Dexter is on his way down to ringside with a lovely lady that we haven't yet seen in the CSWA, Sammy.
SB: You mean he finally got rid of that Wizzard guy? Good. I was tired of him running up to me and saying 'look behind the curtain.' I think he may have been a little fruity...if ya know what I mean.
BB: I think the phrase you were looking for is 'gay as a two-dollar bill.' Well, tonight he comes out with Sugar Blossom.
SB: Whoo hoo! She can show her petals to me anytime.
BB: That's enough. Dexter's going to have his hands full tonight. Vizzack seems to have an 'open-door' policy, and in recent weeks, he's been facing off against some of the new stars like Pyro, and now Dexter.
SB: Dexter better watch out for Sunshine on the outside.
BB: What are you talking about?
SB: Well, you know, she might overdose on the outside as a distraction or something.
BB: SAMMY! You do realize that Sunshine is a member of the Board of Directors...you know...the people that decide who to hire and who to fire?
SB: Really? Surely Ms. Del Payne knows I'm just kidding.
BB: Uh huh, I'm sure. Speaking of which, there's the music these fans have been waiting for.
(Cueup: "Smoke on the Water" -- Deep Purple)
BB: But there's no sign of Vizzack or Sunshine..... fans, I'm getting word that there's been some sort of altercation backstage...give me just a moment.
SB: Oh dear....see I told you, Sunshine's gone over the edge again.
BB: I've just been told that we're going to cut to some camcorder footage of an attack on Mark Vizzack. Sunshine was filming with her video camera.....anyway folks, let's cut to it.
(Fadein: We can hear Sunshine joking with Mark Vizzack as they leave their dressing room. As they step outside, the camera shifts violently, and we see a masked man dressed in black begin to hammer Vizzack's right shoulder with a lead pipe. Vizzack drops to the ground as the man continues to hammer away. Sunshine screams for help; the masked man looks up and runs down the hall.) (fadeout)
BB: Mark Vizzack is currently being treated by our on-site paramedics. I'm sorry to say, it looks like this match isn't going to happen tonight, folks.
("Smoke on the Water" begins to play again)
BB: Then again, what do I know.
SB: Apparently not much, because here comes the former champ and the psy....I mean, Ms. Del Payne now. She does know that I was just kidding, right Buckley?
BB: I'll ask her at the next BOD meetin.
SB: Come on...she's gotta know it's just schtick. It's for the kids.
BB: Uh huh. Vizzack's right shoulder is heavily taped, and we can see him wince in pain as he makes his way into the ring. That masked man may have evened up this match just a bit. Who do you think it was, Sammy? My bet's on a man who's been known to wear a mask already....Aaron Douglas....he's been trying to make Mark's life miserable...picking up where Hornet left off.
SB: Could be.....it's got to be somebody who's interested in making sure Vizzack's not one hundred percent for the IRONMAN. And if it is Douglas.....well, that would explain why Hornet has gone out of his way to help Aaron out lately.
BB: Referee Manuel Juarez calls for the bell, and Dexter charges in quickly, sending a battered Mark Vizzack into the ropes.
(seven minutes into the match)
BB: Vizzack has done a good job of protecting that right shoulder here...but it's certainly taken away from his usual offense. Dexter hasn't been able to capitalize on the injury, but he's still barely winded as well. The former collegiate wrestler at the University of Michigan has the former World Champ at a stand-off...but he's got to find someway to take advantage. Dexter grabs hold of Vizzack's injured arm and whips him into the ropes....flying body press by Vizzack!!!! But the momentum carries both men under the top rope to the outside!! They both hit HARD! Oh no, Sammy, it looks like Vizzack may have hit his right side up against the outside rail....he's clutching that shoulder in pain.
SB: And that gives it away even to a drop-out like Dexter, who pulls Vizzack up and shoves him bad arm-first into the steel post before rolling him back him.
BB: Wow, some play-by-play, I'm impressed.
SB: Shut up, Buckley.
BB: Dexter hits Vizzack with a snap suplex and puts his weight on that bad shoulder to cover....One......no, Vizzack kicks out! Dexter puts Vizzack down with a tombstone piledriver and hooks the leg.....ONE....... TWO.......no!!! Again, Vizzack kicks out, despite the sixty pound weight differential. Dexter pulls Vizzack up and sends him into the ropes....FLYING BODY PRESS again by Vizzack!!!! He takes Dexter down! ONE....... TWO.......no!!!! Dexter rolls through to reverse! ONE...............TWO................THREE!!!!! He had the tights, Dexter obviously had the tights. How did Juarez miss that?
SB: He's Cuban.
BB: And that's supposed to explain it? Sunshine is furious....she jumps in the ring to argue with Juarez, but he simply shakes his head and climbs out of the ring!!! Matt Dexter gets one of the biggest upsets to date.... but this one is severely tainted, Sammy.
SB: Hey, a win's a win. Vizzack didn't have to come out here tonight.
BB: But he did....and he was holding his own, that's what makes this so sad.....anyway folks, we're going to take a break. When we come back....it's Blade and Cool Moe D....One More Time.
BB: What a show Sammy up to this point.
SB: If you say so.
BB: What? You don't agree? I think the fans watching at home and those in attendance would agree that this has been the best PRIMETIME of the year.
SB: I think the fans watching at home are slightly smarter than those in attendance. At least they had the foresight to say at home, where the Animal Planet lies just a click away. It pains me to a small degree to say that I'd rather watch Mongo's mate than to see Matt Drexler in action. If that's what you called what we witnessed tonight.
BB: Boy, you're in a mood.
SB: Oh forgive me Mr.Happy. I've been an hour without a drink and nature's special guest came visiting this week.
BB: THAT my fat friend, was uncalled for.
SB: Take it easy! It's hard to lose weight , Buckley. After thirty plus years they want me to cut back on my portions. I've got portions...baby I've got portions coming out of my...
BB: SAMMY! Control yourself.
SB: Sorry, I almost lost it there.
BB: No, I mean control yourself....you're really porking up....
(Sammy starts to speak, but is broken by the PA system. Cool Moe D and Blade begin their introductions)
BB: The bell sounds and this one is underway! Cool Moe backs Blade up against the ropes and fires him across the ring!
:::clothesline doesn't take Blade off his feet. He turns to look at D::
BB: Blade shook that blow off like a moral man waves off a hooker in a dark alley in New York.
SB: What in the WORLD??
::Cool Moe throws himself back against the ropes and comes off with another clothesline. This one rocks Blade sllightly more...and finally he's taken off his feet with a spinning savat kick::
BB: Blade to the mat! Cool Moo hooks the legs, Sammy he's going for the figure four! If he hooks this in...
(Buckley holds out his hand and motions to Sammy)
SB: It could all be over.
BB: Blade musters up the strength and shoves D across the ring! He bent the knees and pushed Sammy!
SB: He just might birth that sucker here tonight, aye Buckley.
BB: Blade charges at Cool Moo and tackles him to the mat! He's firing away, punching every inch of D's head! Furious action, to star this one!
::Blade scoops Cool Moo up and delivers a back breaker over his left knee::
SB: In reality Buckley, both these guys were seen last night at Red Lobster, together.
BB: Oh really?
::2 count from Worthington. Blade comes off the second rope but he's caught with a kick to the head::
SB: Yeah, Blade stopped off for some dinner and Coo Moo busted the table next to his. Hey, who said being in the CSWA paid.
::Cool Moe delivers a DDT to Blade. He prepares to pin, when::::
(the lights go out completely, leaving the entire arena in darkness....when the lights come back on, Cool Moe D is seen standing the center of the ring and Blade is nowhere to be seen....a voiceover can be heard echoing throughout the arena)
V/O: So Cool Moe D, our saga comes to an end, but before I depart I leave you with a gift of departure from your's truly....
(a steel cage slowly lowers down from the ceiling, enclosing Cool Moe D, helpless and confused within the ring....the voiceover can be heard once again)
Our meetings have come to an end and I bid you farewell. Now, I would like to introduce you to my next of kin... Welcome to the GENOCIDE....
(the lights cut off for a brief moment and when they flash back on a 'mysterious man' in a black cloak is seen beating on Cool Moe D with a black bat and without mercy....the 'mystery man' is very large, yet not large enough to be Blade himself....suddenly the lights cut off once again and once they come back on, the 'mystery man' is gone, but Cool Moe D lays in the center of the ring in great pain)
BB: That was Rick Codine!!! What's he doing here? He's supposed to be locked up!! Fans, we've got to take a break! We'll back with the Main Event!
BB: Well, I guess we're about to find out who Aaron Douglas's mystery opponent is for Apocalypse.
(Cueup: "The Long Hard Road out of Hell" -- Marilyn Manson)
BB: And here comes the psychopathic sycophant himself.
SB: You better not let him hear you say that...or worse yet...Miso. (shudders)
BB: Apocalypse is wearing some sort of mask over his face...that's a new feature for the big man.
SB: Um...if you got hit in the head about 20 times with a chair by K-9....you might wear a mask too. Not to mention, he wasn't the easiest on the eyes before anyway.
BB: Uh oh....here comes the video wall....and Aaron Douglas.AARON DOUGLAS: Hey 'Poc, I see you in the ring there and you seem pretty anxious. I'm sorry I could be there in person, but as you can see (gestures to the private plane cabin surrounding him) I'm off on business... to spend a little more of that money Merritt gave me. But.... the moment you and the entire world has been waiting for, the unveiling of the "mystery man". Well I won't keep you in suspense! Ladies and gentlemen, here he is... ("Allstar" -- Smashmouth begins to play) ...a WORLD RENOWNED SUPERSTAR, a CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS, AMERICA'S HERO, and soon to be once-again the UNIFIED CHAMPION OF THE WOOOORRRRLLLLDDDD, YOUR PAL AND MINE, give it up for......HORNET! Until next time, Apocalypse....have fun with the champ!
BB: Well, I think we can safely say that Aaron Douglas has pulled off a major coup here. This marks the third time that Hornet has helped Douglas with his dirty work. Sorta makes you wonder about that masked man who went after Vizzack earlier, doesn't it?
SB: It might....if Douglas weren't on a plane....
BB: You never know. With that mask on, we can't tell if Apocalypse is surprised or not...but Miso looks almost... gleeful, about this match up.
SB: She thrives on the sadistic.
BB: Hornet's making his way down to ringside....and he's not getting a very warm welcome from these fans. I think they cheered more for Apocalypse than they are for Hornet.
SB: After that "Love Show" stunt he pulled, he should be happy he wasn't arrested. Nobody mocks Eddy Love...NOBODY!
BB: Um, sit down, Sammy. Hornet's standing in the aisleway, apparently daring Apocalypse to come down and face him....hold on, he's got the mic.
H: Well now, Apocalypse....I say we make this interesting. You told Douglas he could set the stipulations, as long as if you win....you get to choose who faces him for the title at SHOWTIME. Well, I tell ya what, I wanna give you every opportunity to get your wish....why don't we make this a no-disqualification match? (crowd pops) How about it, Pox?
("Pox" and Miso turn toward each other; Apocalypse turns back and nods. The crowd pops again)
H: Ya gotta love the stupid ones. (throws down mic)
BB: BILLY STARR has just come out from under the ring. He's got a chair in hand....and he just WALLOPED Apocalypse in the back of the head!!!! Miso tries to stop Starr from going after Apocalypse again, but she gets shoved away and slips through the ropes! Hornet runs down the aisleway and rolls into the ring as Starr nails Apocalypse in the back with that steel chair. Hornet puts his face down on the mat, and he's yelling at Apocalypse, taunting him!!! Apocalypse tries to get up, but Starr puts him down with that chair again! This is out of control!
SB: You know....as much as I hate to say it....sometimes you've just got to give Hornet credit.
BB: Well, I guarantee you he's not making any bonus points with the Unholy.
SB: You think he wants to after what Harders and Black did to him earlier? This is the smartest thing Hornet could've done. He's not gonna risk getting hurt just before the IRONMAN.....plus, he gets a little measure of revenge on the Unholy.
BB: Speaking of which....here come Black and Harders now!!! Hornet sends Starr to block traffic, while he puts the boots to Apocalypse. Referee Patrick Young doesn't know where he lost control.
SB: Tell him to look back about twenty years.
BB: Hornet pulls Apocalypse to his feet and drops him with a hard right hand. He goes back against the ropes to set up for an elbow.....but Miso trips him up!!!
SB: Speaking of embittered women, where's Ivy?
BB: Who knows...probably on 'business.' Hornet turns toward Miso....he tries to reach through the ropes to get her, but she backs away. And Hornet doesn't see Apocalypse get to one knee!!! Apocalypse is up, and he clotheslines Hornet from behind!!! Hornet goes over the top rope to the outside!!! Apocalypse shakes off the after-effects of those chair shots, and now he's headed outside after Hornet! Starr is still holding his own, keeping Black and Harders on the other side of the ring....but I don't kow how much longer he can retain the advantage. Hornet grabs hold of Miso....he keeps her between himself and Apocalypse as he backs away. Finally he shoves her toward Apocalypse and starts backing away. He yells to Starr.....and it looks like the Starr/Hornet partnership is about to make its getaway. There they go, with Harders and Black following close behind. Miso retains enough sense to get Apocalypse to roll back inside the ring......and this one is over. Referee Patrick Young has ruled it a win for Apocalypse by count-out.
SB: Well, he gets the match with Douglas...but at what price?
BB: And what about these partnerships Hornet keeps lining up? We thought it was a coup when he showed up with Poison Ivy....but now he's added Douglas and Starr to the franchise?
SB: He's keeping his bases covered, Bill. Why do all the dirty work yourself when you can divide it up? It's like fixing the lawnmower....why do it when you can pay some Mexican twenty bucks to stick his hand under there for you?
BB: Fans, the address to send your letters and postcards is: CSWA, Sammy Benson Complaints, P.O. Box 12000, Greensboro, NC, 27000.
SB: That's not nice.
BB: Maybe I'll forward them to Sunshine this time.
SB: That's *really* not nice.
BB: Folks, thanks for joining us tonight. We'll see you next week at the Georgia Dome, for the last event on the Road to ANNIVERSARY 1999! Good night!
(Jerky video camera footage begins to run. In the back, Sunshine has her camcorder running, taping some of the action backstage. Mark is in his dressing room, having his shoulder worked on by a trainer. Sunshine keeps muttering something about "Stupid Juarez," as she continues to search the backstage area for some action. She steps through a curtain to a dimly lit storage area.)
SUNSHINE: Let's see what we can find back...here?
(The camcorder shows Xeno with a petite monk. He takes his hand, pushes the hood away as you hear...)
XENO: My daughter, I am so glad you are by my side again. The stars have indicated that it is time. The prophesy shall come tr...
(Xeno turns to Sunshine.)
Sunshine: You! But you're the one who.....
XENO: You really should not have come here. I would have assimilated your innocence in due time, now you have sped up my ...
(The camera drops to the floor as Sunshine drops it in an apparent run for safety. The last image on the tape is the face of a young woman.....a young woman who was last seen covered in her own blood. Sunshine screams in the background as the camera goes to static.)
Return to Main Event | Home | Let Us Know What You Think!