in Nassau

August 17, 1999

Featuring:     US Title Triangle Match

(Fade in on a well- to- do hospital in the greater Baltimore area. Doctors and nurses are roaming about, tending to the wounded, sick, and dying. CUT TO: The patient's rooms. C wing. The door on the left reads "M. Vizzack" on the front. A look at the chart would tell a passerby that Vizzack is suffering from a broken collarbone and is scheduled to be discharged in the morning. For the moment... he's still a patient, and he's in bed, watching Bill Buckley give the CSWA UPDATE from the Parsons' Cruise Liner II... a knock at the door.)

MV: Come in.

(The door swings open, revealing his manager, best friend, confidant...Sunshine Del Payne. She's dressed in a black "Blair Witch Project" T-Shirt, black jeans, and sketchers. Behind her is "The Living Legend" Mark Windham. His hair is pulled back into a ponytail, and he looks more 'together' than he's been in the past year and a half. They enter the room...)

SDP: I heard you can go home tomorrow. Any idea when you'll be back in the ring?

MV: Doc thinks my collarbone will be healed in another week or two, and I can start rehab then. So it'll be a month, at least. 

MW: We're both glad to hear it. And since you pinned Flair in the Ironman, you shouldn't have any trouble getting a title shot when you come back. 

MV: I'm not going back. At least, not yet.

(Sunshine and Windham's jaws both drop.)

SDP: What... Why?

MV: You two convinced me. Windham... I saw you as a whole athlete for the first time since FISH FUND eleven back in Greensboro. And you've helped Sunshine realize her potential as well. I don't think it's the right thing to do to associate myself with the two of you, on a professional level, until I have an "Awakening" of my own.

MW: It wasn't something I sought out at the beginning, Mark... it just happened. You can't force it to happen.

MV: I know. But with my shoulder still hurting, I figure I have some time before I need to make a decision. So I'm heading out, backpacking across the country tomorrow morning. And Windham...

MW: Yeah?

MV: Take care of my girl here.

(They share a handshake... as, across the street, two familiar figures to Mark Vizzack watch... and wait.)

(CSWA Commissioner and Co-Owner Stephen Thomas is on the phone)

Thomas:  I don't care if he told you not to give out his number, I need to talk with him.  Listen you little peon, there are millions on the line here....and if you don't tell me what I want to know, I'm going to send a few of my employees......yeah, that's what I thought.

(He hangs up and dials another number)

Hornet:  Hello?

Thomas:  Hornet?  Is that you?

Hornet:  What do you want Thomas?  I'm in the middle of a flight.  I see you squeezed the number out of the chauffeur.

Thomas:  We've got to talk.  We've only got another couple of weeks to get this contact thing settled.  The lawyers have been trying to reach you....

Hornet:  ...but I haven't returned their calls.  I don't have time for this, Steve.

Thomas:  Don't have time?  We're talking about....

Hornet:  ...I know how much we're talking about, Steve.  Listen, I need some time.

Thomas:  But you're scheduled for an interview tonight in Nassau.

Hornet:  Then I guess you're going to have to find somebody else.  Don't worry...I'll catch up with the boat in Negril, hopefully.  I need time, Steve...and you tell your friends in legal to stop calling, or I'll just go with another offer.  I don't want to think about all this right now, got it?

Thomas:  Come on...surely we can...

Hornet:  I'm hanging up, Steve.  Be a smarter man than your friend, Merritt, do me this one favor...give me a week.  (hangs up)

BB (V/O): ANNIVERSARY was certainly one for the record books... Six men entered the arena to become the CSWA World Heavyweight Champion... six men entered the IRONMAN to become the greatest athlete in the CSWA today... but it was the tragic flaws of five that gave the last his just desserts.

(CUT TO: Mark Vizzack, post- Flair, clutching his shoulder...)

Mark Vizzack, the emotional favorite to regain the Gold... stopped short by a clipped wing.

(CUT TO: Overlays of Eddy Love and Deacon, getting attacked by Steve Radder and Jesse Solomon, respectively...)

The TITANS of the ring, still yet to face each other... struck down by the actions of another man...

(CUT TO: Powers, getting the DQ victory over Deacon...)

Kevin Powers, the IRON MAN... dead in his tracks by a chance of fate.  

(CUT TO: Eli Flair schoolboying Hornet...)

And Hornet... Cut down by his own ego.

(CUT TO - AND HOLD:  Eli Flair, with Ivy at his side, holding the belt high...)

But for Eli Flair... a long, difficult journey, has finally paid off.

(Fade out... and back. to the Parsons Cruise Liner, where the POOLJAM is kicking off! CUT TO: Buckley, Benson, and the Red Midget, sitting at a table. Buckley is wearing a white summer suit, Benson, a Hawaiian shirt, and Red...the usual.)

BB: HELLO NASSAU! My name is Bill Buckley, and I'm joined by Sammy Benson and the Red Midget... and WELCOME to the kick-off of the CSWA's PRIMETIME POOLJAM TOUR!

SB: Yeah, yeah, yeah... We're on the Parsons' Cruise Liner... and Eddy Love is NOT a happy camper tonight!

BB: Of course, Sammy is referring to the former CSWA World Heavyweight Champion as it relates to the events surrounding ANNIVERSARY 1999 and the IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS tournament.

RM: Well... what ELSE would he be referring to?

BB: For a man who was dead for two years, you might APPRECIATE a little back story.

SB: Or half a man, at least...

RM: Don't make me come over there.

BB: Gentlemen... wait a second, I'm being told there's a disturbance of some sort in the locker room area. Do we have a camera back there?

(CUT TO: The backstage. Lawrence Stanley is on the ground, as a masked man dressed in black is kicking him from behind.)

RM: That's gonna leave a mark.

BB: Lawrence Stanley has apparently been attacked backstage, by this mysterious masked man that has been attacking people at the last few events!

What is going on... Who is that?

VOICE (Onscreen): HEY!

BB: It's Matt Dexter! He takes a run at the masked man, but the masked man catches him with a fist, and a kick to the knee! The man is off and running as Dexter and Stanley are getting up!

RM: That was fun.

SB: That was pointless.

BB: Let's get on with it...

El Nino vs. Carl Brigsby

This was no contest. El Nino, formerly known as the Mexican Muppet, has held tag team gold on four different occasions with Timmy Windham, whoever HE was, showed almost NO signs of ring rust. He took control of the "Lord of Darkness" early, taking him down with a side suplex, followed by a Frank 'n Parsons! A powerbomb followed a DDT, as El Nino barely broke a sweat. Sensing victory ALREADY, El Nino headed up top and hit his finisher, a 360 splash, for the easy 1-2-3.


RM: Just keep him away from me.

SB: He's cured now, apparently... and it's too bad. I loved it when he snapped your neck like a twig.

BB: The good old days, huh, Sammy?

RM: Thomas would fire you for less.

BB: I should be so lucky. Up next, folks...

VOICE: The Dark Reign... Is Coming...

[Roaming blue lights begin to fill the Civic Center with one light looming over the ring and 'Clubbed To Death' (Hurayamino Mix) by Rob D begins to play over the loudspeakers. Back towards the top of the rampway clouds of smoke begin to rise from the ground as Miso makes her way out along with Susan still on a leash. She is wearing pink and white knee high boots with 'UnHoly' written on the side. She is also wearing shiny white shorts and cut off tank top that is barly buttoned in the front. Behind her Apocalypse, Pat Black, and Lady Death follow behind her as they make their way to the ring.

As they make it into the ring Apocalypse stands in the center of the ring staring out towards the thousands of screaming fans. Black and Death head towards the corner and stand off in the distance as Miso takes the microphone from the Ring announcer and points for him to exit the ring.  Once the lights return to normal Miso gives Apocalypse the microphone.]

A:  The times are changing in the realm of the CSWA. Harders with a new life. Inferno in a lost land. Blade on a impossible dream to become reality. Has the CSWA changed for the better? Has The UnHoly seen its last days? Ever since the destruction and the retaliation of K-9 things have not seemed perfectly clear....

[At that moment Pat Black reaches into his jacket and pulls out a microphone.]

PB:  Apocalypse I know that The UnHoly are having problems from all sides and I believe I have the solution to the problem. K-9 this is addressed to you. Ever since you joined The UnHoly I never saw eye to eye with you. I always thought you were less of a man and after your recent attacks and such you have proven my point time and time again. I have a deal for you and this is one I suggest that you take cause you can't afford not to. At the next card, Showtime in Negril, how about we put everything on the line since it was I who set you up for your pitful downfall from The UnHoly. Pat Black vs. K-9 in a No Disqualification I Quit match. Sound pretty good K-9? Well here were it gets interesting. The Loser must leave the CSWA.....FOREVER!!!

[The crowd cheers after hearing the comments. Apocalypse gives a awkward look at Black.]

A:  What are you saying?

PB:  He has been a thorn in our side since day one and I fill that I am the only one that can destroy him for the good of the group. Let me have this chance Apocalypse. I will not let you down.

A:  (thinks for a moment) So be it. If you want to have K-9 in this match then you can. Just remember to be prepared for anything and everything.

PB:  I will not fail you Apocalypse. Remember we are the cornerstones of The UnHoly.

A:  Yes. This is so. Prepare CSWA....The Dark Reign is approaching....

{At that moment bomb-like pyro effects go off from the ringpost and 'Clubbed To Death' (Hurayamino Mix) by Rob D begins to play again as the members of The UnHoly make their way out of the ring area to the backstage area.}

SB: That could ruin their weekend.

BB: Let's just move on.

"Big Tyme" Michael Gettis and "X- Rated" Marcus Delmar

Both of these teams are looking to challenge the CSWA's Top 10. In this matchup, it seemed that Simply Stunning had the early edge. Michael Hardy was in the ring against Michael Gettis, and had him up in a backbreaker. But then his partner, Marcus Delmar, rushed in and clipped Hardy's knee, sending him and Gettis crashing to the mat. Gettis was able to climb to his corner and tag in Delmar, who immediately went to work on Hardy's knee. Delmar hooked in a figure four and wouldn't let go, no matter how much Hardy screamed. The other half of Simply Stunning, Simon Wilcox, came in to help his partner, but was stopped by referee Patrick Young and by Gettis. In the ring, Delmar let up on the figure four and then pulled Hardy to the ring apron and began wrapping his injured knee around the ring post. Again, Wilcox tried to help his partner, but Gettis was waiting for him. Gettis and Wilcox battled outside the ring, while Delmar and Hardy continued inside the ring. Delmar jumped off the top rope, catching Hardy's knee with an elbow smash. After a couple of atomic drops, Delmar once again hooked in the figure four. Hardy, unable to grab the ropes, reversed the Figure Four, and, when Wilcox blocked off the interference from Michael Gettis, Marcus Delmar had no choice but to tap.

WINNERS: Simply Stunning

BB: Simply Stunning does the job well, and you have to think that somewhere down the road, they could be serious contenders for the Unified Tag Team Titles.

RM: If Powers and Love are still speaking. I've heard that they're on the verge of splitting up.

SB: That's COMPLETELY unfounded. Eddy and Powers are tight as they've EVER been.

BB: That remains to be seen, Sammy... and you know it.

SB: Then it's Powers' fault.

Corbin Grossard vs. "Mr. Main Event" Rob Sampson

In the opening minutes of this match, Sampson came out flying. He hit a dropkick and a lariat in the early going, but Grossard caught him with a powerslam to ground him! Grossard continued the high impact power moves with a backbreaker and a gorilla press slam! Grossard went for a running powerslam, but Sampson hooked in a crucifix cradle. Corbin, however, was able to kick out at the TWO COUNT! Grossard was incensed...and it cost him. 

He charged Sampson who in return hit a Superkick square on the jaw! Sampson then went up top and hit a top rope dropkick! Grossard was in trouble, and Sampson went for a flying bodypress, but Grossard caught him! Grossard hit a fallaway slam, followed by a BIG powerslam that put Sampson down for the count.

WINNER: Corbin Grossard

BB: We've got to take a short break, folks... we'll be back with the CSWA World Heavyweight Champion!

(CUT TO: Commercial for FISH FUND XIII.)

SB: At least Rudy's not wearing a hood this time.

(CUT TO: Rudy Seitzer in the middle of the ring.)

RS: My guest at this time... WON... the IRONMAN of Champions!

(CUEUP: "Another Brick in the Wall" - Pink Floyd. HUGE pop.)

RS: He's the KING of EXTREME.... and he's the NEW CSWA World Heavyweight Champion! Please welcome.... "TOTAL ELIMINATION" ELI FLAIR!

(Eli enters the arena, and fireworks fly from the ceiling. He's dressed in street clothes, with the CSWA World Title over his shoulder.)

ELI: There's been a lot of rumors flying around, a lot of stuff that people are expecting to see, hoping to see, wanting to see. They want to know what Eli Flair is gonna do, now that he's the CSWA World Heavyweight Champion.  Well, Ivy summed that up real easy in her Tribune column.

Whatever I want.

(HUGE pop)

RS: Eli, you have been, in the past, a man known for defending titles on a VERY regular basis. Do you think that'll continue?

ELI: Rudy.... what do you think? Look at me, the man who made a LIVING wrestling every day. Every event. And I never lost, I never dropped the Intracontinental title. The way I see it, that was four years ago. And that makes me THAT MUCH BETTER. So yeah, you can expect to see the World Title defended pretty often.

RS: Got your opponent picked out yet?

ELI: (Hesitant) Let's just say.... I'm keeping my options open.

RS (Confused):  And that means.... what?

ELI: Sorry, GUNS.... plans have changed. That's what it means. And by the way, Mr. Bill.... tell your Silver buddy that if he wants a shot.... bring it on.

(Eli walks out of the ring as Rudy asks more questions, all drowned out by cheers as the World Champ ignores them.)

BB:  Looks like some things never change, hey Sammy?

SB:  Some things OUGHT to change.... Like Eddy's partner. But we'll hear about that later in the show.

BB:  Indeed we will. Coming up next... a grudge match of sorts, as Matt Martin takes on Rick Codine!

RM: Isn't that Blade's brother?

BB: In a sense. I'm not sure what his whole deal is with Blade... but he's got something in common with his brother, in a VERY large disliking for Matt Martin, formerly known as Cool Moe D.

"The Monarch" Matt Martin vs. Rick Codine

These two have had some SERIOUS brawls in the CSWA, with Rick Codine getting the upper hand. Codine came out early with a DDT followed by a backbreaker!  It was evident that Matt Martin was off balance from the previous encounters, and that his head was not in the match at the beginning. Codine continued the attack with a headbutt followed by a flying elbow drop! Codine went up top and nailed a top rope splash! Codine went for the pin, but Martin kicked out. Codine continued to work away with several kneedrops and several elbow drops! Codine hit a bulldog, followed by a sleeper hold!

Martin was able to counter with a jawbreaker to break the hold. Martin went for a piledriver, but Codine countered with a back body drop! Codine hit a brainbuster, and went for a figure four leglock, but Martin wrapped up Codine in a small package and got the pinfall! Codine was furious, but Martin did in fact, escape with victory.

WINNER: Matt Martin

BB: That was a match and a half.

RM: You mean HALF a match.

SB: As opposed to half a commentator?

BB: Knock it off, you two. Martin seemed... distracted by something. But he had the presence of mind to hook Codine's head and roll him up for the pin.

SB: That's something that most of the idiots in television land fail to realize, is that all the offense in the world doesn't matter if you LOSE.  Martin got the win, that's what counts.

RM: And yet... after hearing you speak... the fans are booing.

SB: They are not! They love me here!

BB: Up next we've got Matt Dexter against Commando, and you've got to wonder what kind of shape Dexter is in. He was attacked earlier by a mysterious masked man, who also got several shots in on Lawrence Stanley! Wait, I think we've got some footage...

(CUT TO: Shaky camcorder footage.)

BB (V/O): Wait a second...

(The footage shows the masked man and Dexter sitting in the locker room area together. The door is only slightly open, but they're both clearly visible...)

Dexter:  Do you think they bought it?? They will never suspect me of being involved in the attack on Stanley.

Masked Man:  Not at all. You ok?

Dexter:  Never been better!!

(Dexter jumps up and down, jogs in place.)

I just need to make sure my name is cleared. Heaven forbid that I ruin the English jerk's title hopes. I just want to get my hands on that blueblood scum, and rid the world of his accented (bleep).

(Cameras stop rolling, CUT TO: Buckley and company.)

BB: I can't believe it! Matt Dexter faked it all to get Lawrence Stanley off his trail!

SB: He's a genius for it, but he's also an idiot for leaving his dressing room door open. Ten out of ten for style, but minus several million for smart thinking.

RM: He's got a tough match coming up though... hope he's prepared.

"Hard Chargin'" Matt Dexter vs. Commando

Matt Dexter came out strong with several dropkicks and a lariat! However, Commando came right back with a flying forearm that sent Dexter flying out of the ring! Commando followed him out and went for a running shoulderblock, but Dexter moved, and countered with a powerslam on the cement! Commando was rolled in the ring by Dexter, and was obviously in extreme pain. Dexter continued to work on the lower back with a spinebuster and several kneedrops to the back area. Dexter then sent Commando with an irish whip off the ropes and on the way back hooked in an abdominal stretch! Commando able to counter with a hip toss, but missed an elbow drop and Dexter took advantage with a boston crab! Commando fought the hold, and finally crawled and scraped his way to the ropes! Dexter broke the hold and went for a suplex, but Commando blocked it and lifted Dexter up for a suplex of his own! Unfortunately, his damaged back gave out, and Dexter landed on top, but only got a TWO COUNT!  Dexter went for a cross body block, but Commando ducked and Dexter clotheslined himself on the ropes! Commando hit a legdrop, and hooked in a victory roll for the pinfall!

WINNER: Commando

BB: See what you get when you cheat?

SB: Yeah, yeah, yeah... and Eli Flair got the World Title for it. It's all a matter of perspective, Buckley.

RM: He's Sammy, but he's got a point.

BB: We've got our final undercard match of the night coming as "Hard Body" Bobby Jackson takes on a newcomer with a LOT of fire, Havoc.

RM: "Lot of fire" is right, as he nearly set Pyro ablaze!

"Hard Body" Bobby Jackson vs. Havoc

Jackson came out firing with rights and lefts! Havoc was staggering and Jackson hit a clothesline, sending Havoc out of the ring. Jackson continued the attack on the outside with several bodyslams on the cement. Havoc rolled in the ring with Jackson close behind. Jackson hit a bulldog, and went up top! He went for a top rope kneedrop, but Havoc moved! Jackson was in intense pain, as Havoc worked a spinning toe hold for several minutes!  

Jackson was in serious trouble, when Havoc pulled him to the center of the ring and locked on a Boston Crab! Jackson struggled for several minutes, but in the end, realizing that he could either submit or risk serious injury, chose the latter, deciding to live to fight another day.


(CUT TO: Commercial for the ANNIVERSARY Boxed Set. Fade back to Sammy Benson in the middle of the ring...)

SAMMY:  He’s been silent since ANNIVERSARY,  but he has promised an earful here tonight..... he is one half of the Unified Tag Team Champions, the Southern Dandy, and my good friend Hurricane Eddy Love and of course his other if not better half the lovely Sweet Melissa.

(Love and Melissa make there way ringside. Melissa is in a string bikini top and beach shorts. Eddy is wearing a Hawaiian style shirt that has “Love Hurts” stenciled on it.)

SAMMY:  Melissa are you wearing windex?

MELISSA:  Why do you ask Sammy?

SAMMY:  Because I can see myself in those shorts.  (Melissa blows Sammy a kiss)  Eddy you’ve never been the one to hold your tongue but we haven’t heard from you since Anniversary, how bout bringing us up to speed.

LOVE:  (to the crowd) Well if you left your minimum wage job to get on this boat and listen to Eddy Love rave about what a great job CSWA did promoting Anniversary, how thrilling it was to be in the ring with four of the biggest superstars my sport has to offer, and what a deserving champion Eli Flair is..... then you need to go ahead and head for the life boats, cause Hurricane Eddy don’t hum along with that melody. Fact of the matter is Melissa and myself are embarrassed that we let that twenty pounds of gold draw me, all night is all right Eddy, into a series of thirty minute matches that favored desperate men instead of finely conditioned technical wrestling geniuses like myself. I will say this about my opponents.... Hornet, Vizz, Kevin and Total Elimination..... each and every one of them kicked like a mule and bit like a crock-o-diiiial.... but not a single one of ‘em want any of Eddy Love in a match of grappling skill, endurance and moxy cause they all know as well as you morons when it comes to main event wrestling Eddy Love is the ladder’s top rung.

As for this long awaited revelation..... I failed to see it. I’ve known the Windham family tree didn’t branch for years now, you can look at those deformed features and tell there’s a little too much family LOVE in Sweetwater.... why at the bottom of the Windham coat of arms it reads “Incest is Best, put your momma to the test” ....and we’re supposed to be surprised that Boy Troy and Mark are brothers, come on they both got that goofy ass grin. Then we had the real “surprise” Hornet is foolin’ round with Jewel..... the original wrestling groupy, Jewels, a woman who’ll stick her feet in the air for any man who’ll take the time to show her they know the difference between a rear chin lock and a step over toe hold. Revelation my ass, they shoulda called it Anniversary ‘99 Old news is still news.

So now I gotta do a little name callin’ and I might as well start at the top...... Eli Flair, the original Eliminator, Total Elimination if you will...... you boy are a disgrace to that belt. You’re still just a two bit thug who would rather engage in gang warfare than to give our customers the ancient art of grappling they pay to see. Truth be told I don’t believe there was a single man in the IOC that couldn’t pin your disgusting ass in a real wrestling match instead of Steve Thomas’ Iron Man side show. The last two CSWA champs scored about zero successful title defenses between ‘em and that’s about what I expect from you Flair. Speaking of zero wins, the biggest hypocrite in our sport must have slipped Thomas a couple thou to keep his big mute freak from facing his inevitable beating at the hands of Eddy Love..... well Shepherd, I’m tired of calling you and your gimp’s name...... whether you or he likes it, he will face me or he will once again be banned from the CSWA by Hurricane Eddy.

(Eddy holds his right hand as high as he can)

I’ve had it up to here with you two asses, and your comic book stories about goblins and demons and trips to China...... I’ve had wrestlers ducking me my whole career, but I gotta hand it to you two boobs y'all are the first ones to blame it on Satan and communism..... no more excuses Little bo Peepherder very soon it’s Deacon/Love and mostly Love. Finally to the man who tore apart the greatest team in the history of wrestling...... who let egos and attitudes come between the men who bankrupted the Corporation.....who let personal tragedy end a professional run equaled by none...... and the one who won’t return Hurricane Eddy’s call........Little Katy Powers.  Well Powers we have several choices..... you can come out here and beg my forgiveness, lay on your back and have Sammy Benson count to three while I hook your leg, and everything will be forgotten..... you can sign to fight me mano-y-mano with the winner taking both straps to do with what *I* want...... or you can get you a partner and take on my tag team.... I’ll expect an answer very soon you big overly jealous, undertalented, bloated ego jerk. I shoulda kicked you to the curb with that other loser and speaking of that other loser...... Steve Radder, the prelimist of the preliminary wrestlers, as much as I would like to kick your ass again, I will not start wrestling on undercards of house shows just because you’ve got a problem with me. You and that two bit tramp, pregnant with God knows who’s baby are outta my life forever. You will never, ever hear Eddy Love mention the name of this no talent hack again and just like it was before I pulled him off of the undercard warming up the crowd for Carl Brigsby......none of you people will even remember his name in a month.

Eddy Love ain’t down and he ain’t out..... I’m still the man you all pay to see..... still your paradigm of morality.... still fair and square Eddy........ and still the king of the CSWA...... be it Troy, Deacon, Flair, Hornet or whoever ...... Eddy Love is gonna bust somebody's ass and he’s gonna do it soon and he’s gonna make it hurt.....

VOICE: Let's play a game, Eddy.... It's called "Shut the **** UP!" You go first.

(HUGE Fan pop as "Total Elimination" Eli Flair enters the arena, dressed in a black "I Am God" T-Shirt, faded cutoffs, and black Converse. The CSWA World Title belt is over his shoulder. Behind him is Poison Ivy, wearing black jean shorts over a bathing suit, sunglasses and her Singapore cane.  And she's got a microphone.)

IVY: Eddy, you can talk all you want about Eli and myself. Everybody already does. But to blame your mediocre showing in the IOC on Commisioner Tard and your "Big, Bad Opponents" who kicked the crap outta you.... That affects the Champ and myself PERSONALLY. For that matter, the Champ has something he wants to say to you himself.

(She hands the mic off to Eli)

ELI: A two- bit thug, Eddy? Come on.... you can be a little more creative than that. "Gang Warfare?" Oh, that's rich. This from the man who needed not one, but TWO partners to get Dante Inferno off his feet.... the man who needed a loaded glove to beat Mark Windham, a man you continually deride.... the man who couldn't pin Vizzack without his having a broken collarbone. And before you bring up the fact that Vizzack pinned ME....

(He gestures to the belt.)

I ain't complaining. I think you're just jealous, Eddy.... that you, the self- proclaimed KING of WRESTLING, were BEATEN and HUMILIATED by not only myself.... but my shadow, Kevin Powers, the two TOUGHEST, most EXTREME wrestlers in the CSWA.

And Eddy.... I hate to tell you this, but you weren't all that difficult to beat.

(HUGE fan pop)

But I'll make this deal with you, Eddy.... You want to be the World Champ again so badly.... what say I make your dream come true? Or at least give you the shot. That's right.... Wherever this boat stops next.... I'm challenging YOU to a match, and I'm putting my belt on the line. You want to talk Championships, Eddy? You want to talk about the greatest Champion in the history of the CSWA? I'll give you a hint.... He's not a slacker, and he's not a 'Roidboy.... and he sure as hell doesn't bring home the Teddy Bear.

(Fans pop)

He held the CSWA IntraContinental Title for EIGHT MONTHS, beat Joey Melton, Mike Randalls, Steven Flair, and Steel Viper.... on his OWN two feet. And now that he's the CSWA World Heavyweight Champion.... things ain't gonna change.... ALL THAT MUCH.

(Eli tosses the microphone up in the air and leaves the arena to a HUGE pop.  In one deft move, Ivy catches the microphone in midair.)

IVY: Have a good night, all, and drive home safely.

BB: Whoa! Listen to that! Eli Flair has just CHALLENGED Eddy Love to a match, and he's apparently going to draw in Hurricane Eddy by putting the title on the line!

RM: Flair's got guts, I'll give him that.

SB (Returning): Eddy's angry! His moment was interrupted!

RM: Poor Eddy. Waa, waa, waa. Cry me a river.

BB: Are you quite finished? We DO have four more matches tonight.

SB: Yeah, Eddy could wipe the mat with you.

Jesse Solomon vs. Wicked Sight

BB: Wicked Sight is in the ring, awaiting the arrival of Jesse Solomon, who is simply in the business of winning for HIMSELF.

SB: Well, Buckley, I don't care about Jesse Solomon, but I don't think he'll have too much of a problem with Wicked Sight.

BB: Well, Sammy, these two have had an intense rivalry. 

SB: What's your point?

RM: His point, Alkie, is that Solomon and Sight are GOOD WRESTLERS. But I think I could take Solomon.

BB: I think he heard you.

SB: You're dead, little man.

BB: Jesse Solomon has approached Red... and he's putting him in his place!  Red, you deserve that!

SB: Hit him, Jesse! He called you Eli Flair's lackey!

BB: Uh- oh.

(Solomon winds up and SMACKS Red in the face - knocking him out. Red slumps in his seat.)

SB: THAT's a shared moment.

BB: That's disgraceful!

SB: You enjoyed it.

BB: Jesse Solomon is in the ring now and this one is gonna get underway! They lock up, and Wicked Sight catches Solomon with a forearm to the head! He whips Solomon off the ropes and catches him with a BIG POWERSLAM! Wicked Sight with the cover! 1..........2..........NO! We almost had a HUGE turn of events, as Wicked Sight almost pinned Jesse Solomon in thirty seconds!

SB: Solomon didn't take too kindly to that, Buckley, and he nails Wicked Sight with a hard right hand!

BB: Now Solomon rams Wicked Sight headfirst into the turnbuckle! Solomon hammering away on the big man in the corner! He's kicking away at the ribs of the Wicked Sight. Referee Manuel Juarez tries to get Jesse Solomon to break, but Solomon just shoves him aside! If he's not careful, he's gonna get himself a disqualification!

SB: Well, Juarez should just stay out of Solomon' way, then!

BB: Solomon now whips Wicked Sight off the ropes for a clothesline...NO! Wicked Sight ducked it and comes off the ropes with a powerful FLYING SHOULDERBLOCK! Now Sight picks Solomon HIGH up in the air and drops him throat first on the top rope! Solomon now staggering across the ring, and Wicked Sight LEVELS him with a clothesline! The cover by Wicked Sight!  ONE...TWO...NO! Solomon kicks out with authority!

SB: Maybe Jesse should try something else. He's not looking so hot out there tonight!

BB: Wicked Sight whips Solomon off the ropes again and catches him with a BIG BOOT to the face! Wicked Sight now leaps in the air and delivers a BIG LEGDROP! Another cover by Wicked Sight!  1.................2................NO! Solomon still manages to kick out!  Wicked Sight now picks Jesse Solomon up and tosses him into the corner!  Wicked Sight burying his shoulder into the abdomen of Jesse Solomon! He whips Solomon across the ring hard into the far corner! He charges in... but Solomon charges out of the corner and nearly decapitates Wicked Sight with a CLOTHESLINE!

SB: I knew Wicked Sight would find SOME way to screw it up!

BB: Solomon now picks the big man up and SLAMS him hard to the canvas!  Solomon just drops the knee on the throat of Wicked Sight and is using the ropes for leverage, trying to choke the big man out! Juarez calling for the break, and he gets in Solomon' face! Solomon just picked up Juarez, carried him to the far corner, and perched him on the top turnbuckle and told him to stay there until it was time to count to three! He should be disqualified for that!

SB: Why, Buckley? It's about time somebody put referees in their place!

BB: Well, Wicked Sight is back up to his feet and he rolls Solomon up from behind! Juarez leaps down from the top rope!  1...................2.................THR... NO! Solomon kicked out yet again! Wicked Sight stays on top of him! He's got him set up for a POWERBOMB...NO! Solomon went over the shoulder, and now he clotheslines Wicked Sight over the top rope!

BB: Disqualify him!

BB: Solomon went over the top rope as well, and now both men are on the arena floor! Solomon hammers away on Wicked Sight with an axhandle to the back! He whips the big man HARD into the steel barricade! Solomon charges at him, but Wicked Sight caught him with a BIG BOOT to the face! Solomon is staggered!  Wicked Sight grabs him by the hair and rams him headfirst into the ringpost!  Solomon is busted open! Wait a second! Solomon rakes Wicked Sight in the eyes, and now he rams Wicked Sight into the post! And again! Add again!  Four...Five...Six...Seven...Eight...Nine...TEN TIMES!

SB: Wicked Sight is out cold after that, Buckley!

BB: Solomon throws a bloody Wicked Sight into the ring, and he's not done with him yet! Solomon has Wicked Sight set up...PILEDRIVER! He's calling for it again... ANOTHER PILEDRIVER by Jesse Solomon!


BB: DEACON! DEACON is in the arena! He's carrying a LARGE wooden cross, and Shepherd is behind him with... a chair?

SB: The Mute Freak is in the building! Eddy will NOT like this!

BB: Deacon reaches into his robes and pulls out a hammer and a nail... He's pointing at Jesse Solomon! LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!

SB: I can't, they're speaking gibberish.

BB: Deacon is proceeding to nail the chair to the cross! SOLOMON SEES IT! HE looks angry, Sammy!

SB: Wouldn't you be?

BB: I suppose, yes. But Solomon keeps his head in the match!

SB: Match? Wicked Sight is barely moving, Buckley! I guess if you can call the twitches he's doing "movement"....

BB: Solomon now has it hooked in...THE CRUCIFIER! Sight is out, though! Manny checks the arm, and he's gonna award this match to Jesse Solomon!

RM: (moaning)

BB: Is he up yet?

SB (Giving Red a subtle, but sharp kick): No... not yet.

BB: Well, Jesse Solomon comes off with the victory here, and we're set for our TRIPLE MAIN EVENT! Up first, we've got the "Return" match for the Greensboro title! And it'll be Blade versus Aaron Douglas in a NO DQ MATCH! 

"Hot Stuff" Aaron Douglas vs. BLADE

RJ: This contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the CSWA Greensboro Title!

(Cue Up: "Sabotage" - Beastie Boys)

Introducing first... from Calgary, Alberta, Canada... weighing in at 227 pounds... The TWO TIME CSWA Greensboro Champion... "Hot Stuff" AARON DOUGLAS!

BB: Douglas is a competent wrestler... but since beating Randy Harders at Battle of the Belts XVI... he's gotten more and more cocky. And against a man like Blade... that could cost him.

(Cue Up: "Du Hast" - Rammestein)

RJ: His opponent, and challenger... from Parts Unknown... weighing in at 268 pounds... A Charter Member of the UnHoly... BLADE!

SB: Here's the man. Blade. The one with brothers out the as---

BB: Sammy!

SB: What? WHAT?

BB:  And we are UNDERWAY! Blade and Douglas circle each other, and a collar and elbow lock up, and Blade JUST SHOVES Douglas INTO THE CORNER! AND HE LETS OUT A BIG HOWL! Douglas shakes it off, and they lock up again, but this time Douglas SHOVES Blade INTO THE CORNER and follows in with a CLOTHESLINE! Douglas WITH A BIG CHOP!

SB: That had to be heard in the rafters! Irish Whip by Douglas, and he catches Blade WITH A CROSS BODY BLOCK! 1.........2...........NO! Both men up, and Douglas with a JAPANESE ARMDRAG!

BB:  Blade charges, but is caught in another JAPANESE ARMDRAG! Blade up....Douglas DROPKICK! ANOTHER DROPKICK! ONE MORE DROPKICK sends Blade up and OVER THE TOP ROPE to the OUTSIDE OF THE RING! Douglas runs off the ropes, and FLIES THRU THE SECOND ROPE ONTO Blade! WHAT A MOVE! He grabs Blade and RAMS HIS HEAD INTO THE APRON! He takes Blade' head and rams it AGAINST THE STEEL BARRICADE!!!! Blade climbs in the ring, and he is dazed.  Douglas follows suit, and grabs Blade and gives him a THUNDEROUS CHOP!  Douglas with an Irish Whip, and catches Blade with a SAVAT KICK on the way back! Douglas climbs up to the top rope, Blade gets up and is met WITH A DROPKICK FROM THE TOP ROPE! Douglas covers, 1...........2.........NO!  Blade kicks out!

SB: Well, I'm bored.

BB:  Douglas with a NECKBREAKER! He bounces off the ropes and delivers a LEGDROP! Douglas TOSSES Blade OUT OF THE RING! You have to wonder what will happen now! Douglas DRAPES Blade on the STEEL BARRICADE, and nails a SPLASH!!!!!!! OHMYGOD!!!!!!!

SB: I'm surprised he's still STANDING after all the punishment he received at the hands of Douglas! Blade grabs Douglas and RAMS HIM INTO THE STEEL BARRICADE! NO! Douglas BLOCKED IT!

BB: AND Douglas RAMS Blade' HEAD INTO THE STEEL BARRICADE! AGAIN! (The crowd starts chanting with Buckley)

ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!!!!! Blade IS BUSTED WIDE OPEN! He has a huge GASH ON HIS HEAD! Douglas rolls him in the ring, and nails a BACKBREAKER! He climbs up top...AND HITS A MOONSAULT! He goes for the pin, 1..............2.............THR... NO!

SB: Blade KICKS OUT! He sure has ENDURANCE! Douglas sends Blade off the ropes, GOES FOR A SAVAT KICK..NO!

BB:  OH MY GOD! Blade ducked his head, AND HE LANDED RIGHT IN Douglas's GROIN AREA! YEEOWCH!!! He'll be singing SOPRANO TONIGHT!

SB: Sign him up for the CHUCH CHOIR!

BB:  Blade grabs Douglas and DELIVERS AN INVERTED ATOMIC DROP! An insult TO  THE INJURY! Blade picks up Douglas in a BACK SUPLEX, but drops him on theROPES, AND Douglas LANDED ON HIS GROIN AGAIN! Blade is A DIRTY PLAYER!  

SB: Could be why he's favored to win the title, Buckley!

BB:  Indeed, however, he has taken control of the match. Blade picks up Douglas, and delivers a VERTICAL SUPLEX! Blade with a KNEE DROP! Blade with an Irish Whip, and he catches Douglas in a TILT-A-WHIRL-BACKBREAKER!!!!!  NICE MOVE! He covers for the pin, 1............2...........NO! Douglas kicks out! Blade with a NECKBREAKER! Blade picks up Douglas, and delivers an IRISH WHIP, and catches Douglas with a BOOT to the midsection, followed by a DDT!!!!! Blade covers again! 1.............2.............THR... NO!  Douglas with a shoulder up! Blade with a PILEDRIVER! Blade tries to hook in a BOSTON CRAB......HE GETS IT!!!!! Douglas must be in a LOT of pain!

SB: He won't quit, Buckley... he'd rather risk injury.

BB:  Valid point, but it does not matter as Douglas reaches the ropes!  However, Blade quickly cinches in an ABDOMINAL STRETCH!!!! He's going to work on that BACK AREA! Douglas is fighting the hold, but YOU CAN SEE THE PAIN ON HIS FACE! Douglas with a HIP TOSS to break the hold! Douglas runs off the ropes, but Blade CATCHES HIM IN A STUN GUN SUPLEX!!!!!!! NO!  Douglas GETS UP AND DROPKICKS Blade FROM BEHIND!!!

SB: The man is NOT HUMAN!

BB: Douglas has... LAID HIM ACROSS THE TIMEKEEPER'S TABLE! He now jumps on the APRON! He runs across the APRON and goes for a SPLASH... BUT Blade GETS HIS KNEES UP!!!!!! Douglas falls off Blade ONTO THE CEMENT! Blade rolls off the table onto the cement. Both men up slowly, Douglas CHARGES Blade, but Blade CATCHES HIM WITH A STUN GUN ON THE STEEL BARRICADE!!!!!!!!!!

SB: Stick a fork in him, he's done!

BB: Blade sends Douglas back into the ring... GUILLOTINE BLADE! There's the cover, 1.............2..................3! NO! Douglas had his foot on the rope!


RJ: The winner of this match... and NEW CSWA Greensboro Champion... BLADE!

BB: He had a foot on the rope, Sammy. I may not agree with Aaron Douglas' opinions, but he was ROBBED tonight!  And Blade grabs the belt and takes a powder before Douglas can argue!

SB: Cry me a river, Buckley!

(Cue Up:  Hit 'Em Up by Tupac Shakur)

BB:  Well, I guess we have a guest...

SB:  Apparently, thats what music usually means!

(K-9 comes walkin down the ramp way, he is wearing the usual, a green sleevless M*A*T*W t-shirt, jeans shorts, and combat boots, his green knee pad is sagging around his left ankle and the other purple one is up around his right knee. His hair is pulled back into a semi-ponytail, half of it up and the other half hanging down in his face. He is carrying a red can marked with a "XXX", looks maybe to be a gas, or moonshine bottle...He slides into the ring, under the bottom rope, from the floor and sets the can down. He stands and walks to the other side of the ring and reachs for a mic...He receives one from a ring attendant, and he walks to about the middle of the ropes, and drops through the ropes and falls to the outside againHe grabs a chair from the timekeeper and tosses it in the ring, then gets a another from under the ring, tossing that one in, he pulls a table from under the ring, and sets it up in front of the annoucers. He then slides back in the ring, he takes the red can, and from inside the ring, pours the contents all over the table.)

BB:  What is he doing!

SB:  Whats it look like you idiot!?

(After he empties the contents of the can on to the table, he digs into his pockets and pulls out a bag. He starts to to empty the bag, and little red-orange pieces of metal start to fall out.)

BB:  Wha...Is he gone mad?! Those are...


(K-9 puts the rests of the on the table and throws the bag on too. He walks over to one of the corners of the ring, and sets up a chair. Sitting down he takes the other chair and sets it beside him. He starts to speak, as he pulls a small piece of cardboard out of his pocket.)

K-9:  All my life...All my life, I've fought alone, my mother left me at an early age, my father, who knows where, and I was foolish to beleive that Nemesis would stay by my side.  I was even more foolish to believe the demons of the UnHoly would take me in as part of there family, make themselves the family I never had, and keep me as a sibling, I was foolish to buy into it as everyone else was, The UnHoly droped me like a bad habit!  So once again...I fight alone...As usual I am all alone, and to me it is no surprise, my life is a succession of let downs put together many and many times over... So I told myself I could take the world on...I said "hey, its like Pac said, It's Me Against the World", I told myself, I could take on the WHOLE UNHOLY! I said I could manhandle, each and everyone of them, even the Manly women! If I can not, ohh well, it is just one more let down an a few more scars...

So...UnHoly, I call upon you...I call you out! Everyone of you, God's Protege...Randy Hard-On! Miso, Silky Rose, DANTE! EVERYONE! Especially...APOCAYLPSE!

(CUE UP: "The Long Hard Road outta Hell" - MM... and Apoc's voice can be heard)

AP:  Be careful...What you wish for...

(The entrance way starts to fill with smoke)

BB:  Whats going on here!?

SB:  Watch and find out!

(The music gets louder, the lights dimmer and the smoke thicker, until the demonic music bursts into a hard giutar riff, as members of the Unholy rush the ring, K-9 grabs up the chair, trying to fend them off, trying to keep them at bay, but every time he swings at one there is another coming from behind.  He lands a good hit on Blade when he enters the ring, Pat Black comes from behind, K-9 kicks him in the gut, as Miso and Silky Rose make there way in the ring, he slams Black with the chair. Swinging at Miso, and Silky Rose keeping them at bay, he backs up to the ropes, taking the "piece of cardboard" from earlier, pulling somthing from it, and then striking it, it is a match, he leans back dropping his chair, with a slight smile drops the match on the table. The table immediately engulfs in flames...)

BB:  Ohh MY!

SB:  This ought to be good!

(Black makes a rush for K-9 again, Black is headed off with a kick to the gut, a quit jab to the eye, as he stumbles back is caught by a Superkick.  He falls, rolling out the ring, as that happens God's Protege rushes the ring, and as does Blade, Miso and Silky Rose come in closer. K-9 starts slugging it out with God's Protege, Dante Inferno makes his entrance as this happens... kicks K-9 in the gut, and locks on the Seventh Circle. Miso in K-9's face now)

MISO:  Don't try to stop the inevitable, you've been warned!

(As Miso's words ring through the arena, Inferno looks towards the entrance way, and Apocalypse is standing in the mist, of the spreading smoke. With no mic, or visable mic, his words ring through the arena)

AP:  It...is...finished!

(As soon as the words are spoken, he drops his head, and Dante tosses K-9 over the ropes from the Seventh Circle, onto the burning table...As K-9's limp body smacks the table it instantly breaks in to and he falls to the floor, as the flames surround him. The UnHoly leave the ring.)

BB:  Ok, we need some security in here, we need to put out that fire...

SB:  Some people never learn!

(Security runs in putting out the fire, once the fire is out, they reach down and start to pull K-9 up, all you can see his his tapped up hand swatting them away.)

BB:  Why won't he let them help!

SB:  He is a REAL man thats why!

BB: In any case... we've got a Triangle match to get to!

(Cue Up: "Bulls on Parade" - RATM)



Randy Harders vs. Nemesis vs. Steve Radder

RJ: This contest is a special attraction TRIANGLE MATCH, scheduled for one fall... And it is for... The CSWA United States Heavyweight Championship!  Introducing first... from Calgary, Alberta, Canada... weighing in at 233 pounds... "The Iceman" STEVE RADDER!

(Radder enters the arena to a HUGE ovation... as does Kelly. He's wearing deep blue tights and a T-Shirt that reads, simply "Cool." on the front. The fans are cheering for him, and he's EATING it up!)

His opponent... from Long Island, New York... A member of the UNHOLY...

(Cup Up:  "Turn the Page" - Metallica)

The CSWA United States Heavyweight Champion... "The Hard One" RANDY HARDERS!

(Harders enters the arena wearing his black duster, but no cowboy hat. He gets a lukewarm reaction until the video wall, instead of showing his logo, shows a photo of himself holding his new baby daughter in his arms. Then...HUGE pop from the fans.)

BB: He's a lucky man, you know that, Sammy?

SB: What? Why?

BB: Never mind. You wouldn't understand.

RJ:  Their opponent... on his return bout, the FORMER CSWA United States champion......NEMESIS!

(Cue up:  "The Kid's Aren't All Right" by The Offspring as Nemesis comes out with his usual paranoid look about him, usual tights, he's still carrying "Sunshine", the only thing different about him is he's wearing a red FUBU jersey. About halfway down the ramp, Nemesis stands upright and pauses for a second, blinks a couple of times, looks at "Sunshine" in disgust, tosses the chair aside and walks down the rampway with a more confident stride. Just before Nemesis reaches the ring he pauses in mid-stride, turns around with the insane look back in his eyes and runs back to "Sunshine". He picks her up, and cradles her like a baby and runs down to the ring.)

SB: Great, this nut's gonna take forever.

(Nemesis gets up on the ring apron, lifts up the middle rope and pushes down on the bottom rope, and waits for "Sunshine" to step into the ring. Randy and Steve look on in disbelief, after a while Nemesis picks up the chair and gently puts it in the ring, he then asks for a house mic and gets in the ring himself. That more confident stride is back in him again.)

Nemesis: It sure is great to be back in the CSWA, and finally out of rehab, I had a problem....

Benson: Actually he had several.

Nemesis: But that's solved now. And I have noticed, that every time I get into a high profile match, my opponent's "significant other" become pregnant, or something. Maybe I have a high-testosterone level following me around or something, I don't know. Randy Harders, Showtime in Greensboro, maybe thinking about your match with me got your "blood pumping", and now you and Mrs. Beyers have a baby girl, Jewels or whatever. Steve-O, you must have gotten REAL excited over me since it was a title shot, because from what I hear you got more then one bundle of joy on the way. (psychotic look back.)

But it appears, that while I was away in the Betty Ford Clinic, "Sunshine" decided she wasn't going to wait for me. (pointing to the chair on the canvas) YOU LITTLE JEZEBEL! Don't think I haven't seen you with Row 24 seat 8 from the United Center, SO WHAT if he has season tickets to the Bulls? You see, "Sunshine", went off with some....Row 24 seat 8 guy and she got PREGNANT!! You! little HUSSY!

(Randy's heard enough of this and starts the match by hitting Nemesis with a double axehandle from behind while Nemesis yells at his chair, the bellrings.)

SB: This looks to be good.

BB: Harders in the middle, Nemesis and Radder now, CIRCLING around the champion, both men staring him down like a prey, and they both charge... NO! Harders side-steps them both and they run into each other... DROPKICK to the back of Nemesis' head by Harders... DROPKICK on Radder as well! Randy over, grabbing Nemesis by the head and he chucks him into the corner... OUCH!  Rifle chop into the chest... OUCH AGAIN! Second slap into the chest... Radder is up behind Harders; Randy jumps onto Nemesis' chest... MONKEYFLIP out of the corner... Iceman caught Nemesis flying in mid-air and LEVELED him with a powerslam! Radder getting to his feet... NO! Harders grabbed the head and dropped him straight down with a Rocker Dropper. Harders... he's picking Radder right up again and he LIFTS HIM into the air... BELLY-TO-BACK! He's floating over for the pin... NO! Nemesis up and DROPS a leg across the neck of Harders! Randy rolling over, holding the neck... Nemesis's on top of him, hooking him straight in... he's bringing the US Champ HIGH INTO THE AIR... he's making him think about it up there- 

SB: Radder up watching it.

BB: ... and... BRAINBUSTER on Harders; that HAD to hurt. Nemesis, the Crazy One coming back up to his feet... CLOTHESLINE BY Radder, and Nemesis is right back down; Radder climbs on top of Randy for the pin! 1...............2.................NO! Harders kicked out, still holding his neck, and Nemesis is up as well, grabbing Radder and he CHUCKS the Iceman into the corner; he's in there after him! Nemesis throwing the lefts and rights into Radder' head... NO! Iceman grabbed Nemesis and lifted him into an atomic drop! Nemesis stunned, checking his assets; Radder quick to the middle turnbuckle; double-axhandle to the head! Nemesis down on the mat and Iceman comes off the ropes; ELBOWDROP on Nemesis. Radder up to his feet again and DOWN... NO! Second elbowdrop misses and Nemesis moved. Nemesis... back to his feet and QUICK to lay the boots into the Iceman's head. 

SB: And the champ's back up, standing behind him!

BB: Harders right behind Nemesis, letting him continue the thrashing on Radder... now he taps him on the shoulder and Nemesis does the quick turnaround- FOOT to the stomach; DDT! Nemesis DOWN face-first on the canvas, and Harders covers... 1........2......NO! Nemesis kicks out. Only a two count.

SB: He's gonna have to do better than that if he wants to get rid of Nemesis.

BB: Randy Harders bringing Nemesis back up, and scoops him off the mat.. DOWN to the mat with the bodyslam... Randy is going upstairs! 

SB: I don't know how wise of a move that is this early.

BB: Randy Harders climbs to the outside, climbing the ropes now - and Radder is up getting there with him! The champ's been CAUGHT on the top rope, and Iceman is knocking him... NO! Harders just had his plans for the night rearranged! Iceman with a HARD right into Harders' face, and he hooks the young man in... Radder has the champ up and OVER! SUPERPLEX! SUPERPLEX INTO THE MAT. Nemesis's back to his feet and he's coming over to the fallen Harders,spinning Harders onto his stomach... what in the... he's got him...LIFTING HIM INTO THE AIR... GOOD GOD!

SB: The Absolute Zero has landed!

BB: Randy Harders is as good as DEAD. Nemesis is down on top, hooking the leg; Radder climbs on top of Nemesis! Both men are on Harders for the cover; 1.............2................THREEEEEEE. Nemesis AND Radder have both eliminated the now FORMER Champion.

BB: Randy Harders has a met a rather QUICK demise here in Nassau, I think, to EVERYONE'S surprise... and the Iceman isn't letting go of Nemesis! Iceman staying on top of him, punching Nemesis quickly in the head with rabbit punches, getting the best of- NOOOO! Nemesis pushed Radder back into the corner and crushed him against the turnbuckle. Nemesis now... throwing Radder off of him, turning around and IN HARD with the shoulder; Nemesis hooks Radder' head in and he lifts the leg... what's this; NICE Fisherman's Suplex with the BRIDGE. Juarez down for the cover; 1............2..........NO! SO CLOSE for Nemesis to becoming the two- time US Champ.

SB: Almost had the Iceman there, but couldn't calm the beast just YET.

BB: Nemesis back to his feet, and he's got Radder, WHIPS him in; Steve off the ropes and Nemesis ducks, reaches over and gets Radder on his shoulder... NO! Radder ROLLED THROUGH THE SAMOAN DROP! He's got the shoulders pinned... 1..........2..........THR... NO! Nemesis JUST kicked out, both men quick to their feet... OH MY! Devastating clothesline by Nemesis puts Radder in his place.

SB: That won't keep the kid down for long - he's gotta lay it to him as quick as possible.

BB: Nemesis looks to be taking your advice, picking the Iceman off the mat and whipping him into the turnbuckle HARD, back-first, and Nemesis right in; AVALANCHE into the corner. Nemesis steps out and Radder falls FLAT on his face, out like a light. Nemesis down, and he hooks the leg;  1...........2.............THR... NO! Radder kicks out again. Nemesis... he's taking Radder and lifitng him onto the top turnbuckle now... Nemesis, climbing up onto the 2nd turnbuckle, and hooking the arms in...double-underhook suplex! THAT had to leave a hurt and maybe it's enough; Nemesis over for the cover, 1..............2............THR... NO! Radder up AGAIN.

BB: Nemesis is telling referee Manny Juarez to hasten his count... Juarez nodding, trying to silence the former UnHoly member. Nemesis over on top of Radder, and now he's on his knees, just throwing rabbit punches into Radder, trying to get him to stay down! Radder taking a BRUTAL beating here...Radder TURNS HIM AROUND! Radder ON TOP! He's letting loose with a flurry of closed fists! Iceman is letting the fists FLY... WOW! did he go off into Nemesis, and he's up onto his feet, grabbing Nemesis and THROWS him into the ropes across the ring; FLYING LARIAT knocks Nemesis out of his boots! Radder falls on top for the cover; 1..............2......................3! NO! NO!  Nemesis JUST got out, but Radder doesn't CARE! Iceman gets Nemesis up and LAUNCHES into him with kicks and punches! Radder... sending Nemesis back into the ropes, and he grabs the arm, WHIPS HIM IN... Nemesis comes off; BIG SPINNING HEEL KICK! Radder AGAIN on top for the cover;  1............2...........THR- NOOOOO! Nemesis kicked out... Steve quickly scurrying to the middle turnbuckle, and he UNLEASHES A LEGDROP. This has GOT to do it... 1.................2...............THRE... NO! Nemesis JUST got up... he JUST got up.

SB: Wooooo... this one's making me sweat.

BB: Steve Radder... oh man. He's right in there after Nemesis... Irish whip to the corner, and Radder's headed up top! Victory Roll, perhaps?

SB: It's over... it's just over.

BB: Radder up on Nemesis' shoulders... and here comes the Victory Roll! NO! NO! Nemesis stepped INTO it... RADDER'S SHOULDERS ARE DOWN!  1.........2..............3! 3! Nemesis did it! He's now the TWO TIME CSWA United States Champion!

SB: I... I...

BB: You're speechless, I know. And a man who carries around a pregnant chair is our new US Champ!

(CUT TO: The ring, where Nemesis is holding up the US title proudly. He crawls over to the corner where "Sunshine" is and calls for the mic.)

Nemesis:  Isn't this great "Sunshine"? Now we can afford lamaze class, baby clothes, we might even buy a bigger house...

(Somebody hands him "Sunshine" from the outside, and he holds it lovingly..)

Nemesis:  I don't care that your a little ho, "Sunshine", don't worry, I'll find Row 24 seat 8 that did this to you and I'll put some good dents in him. Now that I have the US title, we can get insurance for the baby, maybe even get it a dental plan.....

(Nemesis drops the mid and walks up the rampway carrying "Sunshine" telling the chair all the things he's going to get the baby with the US title money.)

SB:  There goes a nut and his pregnant chair.

BB: We'll be right back with our MAIN EVENT!

(CUT TO: Commercial for the new CSWA Video Game)

rematch to determine the top contender 
to the Greensboro Title

Lawrence Stanley vs. Alex Wylde

(CUT TO: Sammy Benson and Bill Buckley at their booth, next to the pool. Behind them, several fans are making faces and mugging for the camera- holding signs like “WE WANT ELI” and “CSushiX” and “It’s all about Love.” )

SB: Is this it? Is it time, Buckley?

BB: Time?

SB: Time for what I’ve been waiting for... Lawrence Stanley versus A-Wyd... two of my new favorite CSWA superstars.

BB: How did I guess you’d like both of these guys?

SB: Well, you know my tastes, Buckley.

BB: Yeah... cheap whiskey, cheaper women and heels.

SB: Oh Bill, (punches Buckley on the shoulder) I knew you’d understand. 

BB:  Hold on, folks, we've got something weird going on....(lights flickering)

SB:  What's new?  As long as it's not the Hooded Falcon, I'm happy.

(The mysterious man in black begins to drop from the ceiling on a zipline, microphone in hand.  As he reaches the ring, he begins to speak...)

Peacekeeper:  For too long wrestling has been "Sports Entertainment."  For too long, matches have been pre-designed and pre-determined.  Well, not this time.  It is you who decides this match.  Come on, CSWA, give the people what they want to see.  Send me some competition.....some big competition.

SB:  Who the heck *is* this guy?

BB:  Well it looks like the man known only as the "Peacekeeper" is going to get his wish....but not quite as he hoped, I think.  The New Big Connection is lumbering down to ringside.  The last time we saw this guy, he was holding the Unholy off from doing a number in the ring.

SB:  And this may be the last time we see him if Big Lloyd Slack gets his 538-pound gut on him.

BB:  I don't know, this masked man isn't a small guy himself....I'd estimate him at six-foot-three, maybe two-sixty or more.  

SB:  Exactly.....he's not 538 pounds.

BB:  Well, we're about to find out what he can do...because here they go.  Slack charges the Peacekeeper, but the masked man sidesteps the big man, who goes into the corner.  Jungle Jim Parsons rushes in, but the Peacekeeper sends him down with a standing side kick!  Slack takes the opportunity to rush from behind..... Peacekeeper turns.....POWER SLAM!   POWER SLAM!!!!!!   He got Slack up and over!!!!!!!  That's five hundred thirty-eight pounds that he just planted on the mat!!!

SB:  Ewww.....and on top of Jungle Jim.

BB:  Referee Ben Worthington is down to count the double pin.....ONE...........TWO.............THREE!!   The Peacekeeper has done it...with an impressive in-ring debut tonight.  Wow.....and there he goes, back up the guywire into the rafters.

SB:  Ya know....he's really got to get a new entrance...that one's a bit overdone.

BB: Well, Sammy, it's time for the Main Event, and as you know, this match has generated a LOT of interest in the CSWA. These two guys have become the TALK of our industry- especially since that awesome ending to the battle royal a few weeks ago. (CUE UP: Wylde Superplexing Stanley off the top rope through a table as both guys hit the floor at the same time.) 

SB: Yeah, these guys are both awesome. 

BB: Well, that remains to be seen. But both guys have reps already- Stanley’s been talked about as being one of the toughest men we’ve seen EVER in a wrestling ring, even with his pompous, snobby attitude.

SB: You say that like it’s a BAD thing. You’re lucky The English Gent doesn’t backhand you and show you your social value right now.

BB: But Alex Wylde... he’s become known in some locker room circles as one of the biggest nuisances and pests to ever step foot in our industry... angering newcomers, veterans and some of the brass here alike. As you may or may not know, Wylde has been screaming and yelling, trying to get out of this Street-fight rules match... we have some pre-recorded comments from CSWA VP Gregg Gethard about Wylde’s protests in the match.

(CUT TO: A tape of Gethard, sitting in an office, wearing a CSWA blazer, a tie with Eli Flair’s face on it.)

GG: Well, fans, as you know I have an announcement in regards to tonight’s main event match between Alex Wylde and “The English Gent” Lawrence Stanley... but, before I get to that, I have an announcement to make. I’ve been in this industry for years, and I’ve always had a reputation of being uhm... I don’t know... inept. Long time CSWA fans CERTAINLY remember that little “wedgie” thing with Jon Katz, or me being forced to test out the “butter” with Poppy’s old popcorn or having to get Chad or Steve their coffee- well, you get the point. Well, since my full-time return to the CSWA, I’ve decided that I want to CHANGE my image to you, the fans. And, as such, I’ve gotten permission from the higher ups, and from the TV guys, and I’m announcing right here a new TV show for CSWA fans... entitled CSTV. Our first card is in the works, and will be held from our new television studio and arena facility in Greensboro, the Samuel G. Hendricks Arena. Now... to the match. As you know, this match has taken a unique twist with Stanley petitioning for this match to have streetfight rules. Alex Wylde has petitioned AGAINST these rules, and it’s been left to me to make a decision on the manner. So, it’s simple. We’re going to dock the boat in Nassau, and these two will fight outside in the Parsons Cruise Liner parking lot. Why have I blatantly favored Lawrence Stanley? It’s simple. Wylde- I don’t like you. No one does, in fact. You’ve managed to annoy, aggravate and alienate an entire league. As such, I’m ruling against you. Back to you, Buckley.

(CUT TO: Buckley and Sammy.)

BB: Wow! What big news from Gethard.

SB: Yeah, Buckley- he’s already contacted me to announce for the new show, saying something about “Benson equals ratings” or something like that.

BB: I’m sure, Sammy... I’ve just been told that we’re not quite ready to dock yet- but Alex Wylde is in the back with comments about Gethard’s announcement!

(CUT TO: The locker room door that reads “Jobbers and Others.” Wylde’s in the middle, shades on, with trunks. Behind him are various CSWA jobbers- Carl Brigsby, Wesley Page, a luchador known as La Psychotica, the jobber tag team Abercrombie and Finch, some guy with a U.S. flag headband and “Poison” half-shirt.)

AW: Yo, CSWA- Gethard... that’s REAL nice of you, trying to Stop the Show by dumping ME- A-Wyd with these peons. (Brigsby yells to the camera.)

CB: Hey Wylde- man, you used all my shampoo!

AW: What, Brigsby- you don’t want my hair to have that shine to it? Well, anyways- you’re forcing ME- the greatest MAT TECHNICIAN to wrestle in some low-rent, cheap gimmick match? No surprise to me- (La Psychotica is holding a towel, yelling in Spanish to Wylde) Ya, La Jobbroni- no hablo whatever- it’s no surprise to me, EVERYONE hates me in this league. But ya know, I don’t care... Alex Wylde is a ROLE MODEL- Alex Wylde is a HERO, even tho I might not have that BABYFACE type of heat. (Wylde grabs a boot as Finch walks by, and he puts it on. Wylde stops him-) Hey, Finch- ya mind lacing this up for me? I don’t wanna pull a muscle- (Finch just looks at him) COME ON MAN- man, these guys don’t know how LUCKY they are to put me in here with these clowns. Like I said, I’m a HERO- so, Gethard, CSWA... when ya’ll think you’re gonna STOP the SHOW- stop the man who gets the 10 share... I’m gonna prove you wrong. I’m gonna wipe the floor with that no-talent English Gent and show him who’s really “Hard to the Core.” Make sure you tape this at home, kids- because this is gonna be IN DEMAND years from now when I get my props as the greatest EVER. I’m going to SHOW YOU that I’m the ratings draw... and I’m going to also ruin your new little show, too. I’m Alex Wylde- and you can just call me Good as Gold- because I’m going to be getting that Greensboro Title shot, and I’m going to be a legend! (Looks at the guys in the back) Any you can say you knew me when! Wash my clothes, Abercrombie- I want them CLEAN when I get back. (Wylde walks off. Page looks a the rest of the guys- “Somebody’s gotta TEACH that guy a lesson...”)

SB: Bravo, Wylde! You the man!

BB: Sammy, Alex Wylde’s a nuisance, a locker room plague-

SB: But he’s my kind of plague.

BB: Well, I’ve just learned that we’ve docked, and out on the pier we’ve got Pee Wee Troutman, and a large crowd! (CUT TO: The assembled crowd before a cleared out area next to the parking lot. Pee Wee Troutman is there. Out from the crowd and a British flag can be seen hovering large over the crowd. From the crowd, wearing his "royal garb” is “The English Gent” Lawrence Stanley, with Lord Alfred waving a flag. Stanley walks to the cleared out area, hands Alfred his clothes. Then, from the back we hear a lot of boos and someone screaming “Out of my way” over and over. Alex Wylde gets to the cleared out area, looks at the crowd- and yells “You’ve just entered the Wylde Zone!” He turns around, and points at Stanley.)

BB: Well, it’s time now for the main event... I gotta go with Stanley here. He’s got a size advantage-

SB: Size, shmize. Both these guys are great, and you know it. I’m looking forward to seeing these two whip the h-e-double hockey sticks out of each other for our enjoyment. It’s gonna be great.

BB: Troutman signals that this match is on... and Stanley’s out to the middle, demanding a lock-up. Wylde doesn’t want ANY of that. Wylde approaches slowly- and Stanley makes a grab at him. Wylde backs away, shaking his head No.

SB: Gamesmanship, Buckley, from the ratings draw.

BB: Again, Stanley’s going for a lock-up, and Wylde again backs away. He yells something to the crowd- Stanley with a boot to the stomach! And another! European uppercut! And another! Those shots are BRUTAL, Sammy.

SB: Well, for an aristocratic Brit, Stanley knows how to bring the pain. He can really hurt someone.

BB: Stanley’s got Wylde and he’s walking him towards the parking area! (There’s a line of cars at the end of the pier.) Stanley whips Wylde and UGH! Wylde hits the side of a Cadillac HARD.

SB: I hope that’s Red’s car... if midgets are even allowed to drive.

BB: Don’t they have those pedal things? Stanley follows Wylde to the car- UGH. Stanley’s placing his palm into the face of Wylde and pushing him back... Wylde with a HARD kick to the chest that send Stanley back... another kick!

SB: Did you see how Wylde leaned back on the car to get extra leverage? That’s why this kid is something else- he’ll do anything to get ahead.

BB: Wylde hits a chop to Stanley’s chest- and another. (Some in the crowd go “WOO” for it.) Stanley shakes them off and chops Wylde! Again! Wylde flies out of his boots! 

SB: Man! Wylde’s chest is as red as your average Greensboro resident’s neck!

BB: Will you stop... Stanley now has a headlock on Wylde- and he boxes him right in the ear! And again! That can cause you to go deaf!That sends Wylde to his knees. (Stanley yells for Wylde to get up) Wylde- UHHHHH...

SB: Wylde just hit Stanley in the Crown jewels!

BB: Wylde is up- SHORT DROPKICK TO STANLEY’S KNEE! Stanley goes to the ground... and now Wylde’s laying the boots all over him. Look at those vicious stomps! OH MAN! Wylde just kicked Stanley right in the head! (The shot echoes and the crowd lets out a collective “Uhhhh’”)

SB: That would kill a normal man, like you, Buckley...

BB: Stanley’s nose looks to be busted... Wylde is pulling Stanley up... and Stanley thumbs Wylde in the eye. Now Stanley’s biting Wylde! STANLEY’S BITING WYLDE! Now Wylde’s starting to bleed from his forehead... 

SB: This is why I love wrestling... seeing two grown men BITE each other.

BB: Both men are locked up... and the much-larger Stanley pushes Wylde up against a red Camaro... forearm shot to the face! And another! Now Stanley has Wylde and he snap mares him to the pavement... Stanley from behind with a kick to Wylde’s back! Wylde has something in his hand he picked up from the ground- it’s a rock! Stanley with another kick to Wylde’s back... Stanley’s leaning over- Wylde spins around and wings that rock into Stanley’s chest!

SB: Wylde’s absolutely ruthless... I bet he’d even do that to his own mother to win a match!

BB: Wylde punches Stanley, and now he has him- and he whips him into the side of that black Benz. WYLDE DROPKICKS THE REBOUNDING STANLEY BACK INTO THE CAR! (Stanley holds the small of his back, grimacing.)

SB: I hope they have insurance...

BB: Wylde now closelines Stanley down to the ground HARD... and- he leaps up to the hood of the Benz! He leaps off- Stanley gets a boot to the face! Wylde falls onto the hood... Stanley hops up-

SB: He smells blood... like a SHARK.

BB: And he RAMS Wylde’s face into the hood. Stanley now- he’s ROLLING onto the car! He’s lifting Wylde up to the hood! He hits a punch- and another- and... OH NO! STANLEY’S GOING TO PILEDRIVE ALEX WYLDE ON THE CAR!

SB: The end of a young career- a tragedy.

BB: NO! Wylde blocks it. Stanley’s trying to muscle Wylde up, but Wylde’s wrapped DESPERATELY over Stanley’s knees... now Wylde- he trips Stanley up! Stanley falls on the hood of the car! 

SB: Looks like this car’s gonna need some work after the match... and these guy’s faces, too!


SB: Yeah, but look... that took a ton out of Wylde, too! 

BB: You’re right, Sammy... Wylde’s dropped to the ground after that move, and so has Stanley.

SB: Man, these guys are gonna be messed up for the rest of their careers from this match... it was great while it lasted, tho!

BB: Both guys are trying to get up... climbing their way up from the ground. Both guys are struggling to their feet... now they lock up- Stanley knees Wylde in the gut... he sneaks behind him- lockup from behind... now Wylde sneaks behind and locks Stanley up from behind... STANLEY WITH A KICK TO WYLDE’S GROINUS MAXIMUS!

SB: His trick knee, Buckley... 

BB: Stanley with one of those European uppercut forearms again... and he’s now walking with Wylde (the Parsons Cruise Liner can be seen in the back.) And he whips Wylde right into- right into a steel fence...

SB: Cold, hard steel... mangled flesh... this is the STUFF.


SB: Man... Alex Wylde should be DEAD... we almost didn’t have a leader of the next generation there!

BB: Stanley and Wylde are both exhausted... Stanley’s up first and he leans over Wylde- OH MAN! Vicious left from Alex Wylde!

SB: It probably knocked a few teeth out from Stanley... now he looks even more British!

BB: Wylde’s up on his feet now... another left from Wylde... Now Wylde has Stanley propped up... VICIOUS closeline! Oh man... 

SB: Lawrence Stanley, welcome to the big leagues... I hope you can breath again.

BB: Wylde’s looking around... he’s dragging Stanley over to a... a 1982 Monte Carlo, it looks like. (Wylde does the “finger across the throat”.) He’s calling for it, saying its over...

SB: This is gonna be rough...

BB: Wylde’s standing on the hood of that car, and he has Stanley in a front face lock... he jumps- SPINNING DDT ONTO THE GROUND! STANLEY’S OUT COLD FROM THAT! And... it looks like Wylde is also! Both men are EXHAUSTED.

SB: I’m sure both of these guys have some sort of severe head trauma...

BB: Wylde’s trying to get up... he’s crawling to his feet- wait- (from the crowd walk up 5 guys, in Hawaiian shirts.) What the- some fans are approaching the guys!

SB: I guess they want severe head trauma, too...

BB: Hey- that’s (one of the guys in the Hawaiian shirts has on a Lucha mask) that’s La Psychotica, I’ve seen him from some tapes! And- THAT’S CARL BRIGSBY! 

SB: Attack of the killer jobbers!

BB: That’s Page and there’s that new tag team, Abercrombie and Finch... 

SB: What the hell are they doing not taking down a ring? 

BB: Wylde sees these guys- but they all start pouncing on him! OH MAN! 5 guys are stomping on Alex Wylde!

SB: More like 2 and a half... they ARE jobbers.

BB: Brigsby has Wylde in a nelson... and Page just DECKS him with an uppercut! They toss him on top of the car... and Abercrombie and Finch are on the top of the car now... and... OH MAN! DOUBLE ROCK BOTTOM ONTO THE HOOD OF THAT CAR! Alex Wylde is OUT! (CloseUp: Of Wylde out COLD, blood coming from his nose.)

SB: I guess these guys want to try and actually HAVE careers...

BB: It’s simple... Wylde was ABUSING these guys in the back, Sammy... NO ONE in this entire INDUSTRY likes Alex Wylde because of his attitude.

SB: Don’t say NO ONE, Buckley...

BB: Now, Stanley is slowly getting up... Brigsby takes Stanley and rolls him on top... this is elementary. 1....2....3. Lawrence Stanley wins this streetfight and he’ll become the number one contender for the Greensboro title now held by Blade! What an absolute WAR this match was...

SB: If these guys can WALK ever again, they’re going to have GREAT careers here.

BB: Thank you folks... we’ve got to go! Have a good night! (CUT TO: A final shot of Lord Alfred with a white towel, tending to Stanley’s facial wounds.... Stanley raises a hand as medics tend to Alex Wylde.)

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