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Buffalo, NY
May 13, 1999

(FADEIN: Somewhere in Texas, deep below ground, months ago.  A figure in shadow flips a switch, causing a blue light to turn on.  The light illuminates a small cavern in the wall....a window cut inside the rock.  A small figure lies encased in a coffin-like structure, surrounded by bedrock.  As the light comes on, one eye of the tiny body opens, then both.  The man known as Lyle Tallman, but more commonly referred to as the Red Midget...awakes.  With a little help.....)

(FADEIN: CSWA Co-Commissioner Merritt's makeshift office in the Buffalo Arena. He's looking over some papers, grimacing at quite a few of them. He then pulls out a "Daily Planner" and makes a few notes for himself... A knock at the door.)

CM: Come in.

(The door opens, and in walks a security lackey.)

SL: Commissioner, I've got the preliminary attendance report.

(He hands the papers to Merritt.)

CM: Ah... good. Good... Very good. Thank you.

(The lackey goes to leave, but stops halfway to the door and holds his hand to his ear.)

CM: Something wrong?

SL: There might be... we may have positive ID on someone. (He speaks into his wrist)
Yes... yes, bring them up, now. (He looks back to Merritt.)
My supervisor is bringing up some surveillance photos. I need to get back to my station. By your leave, Godfather?

CM: Yes, yes... Thank you.

(The lackey leaves just as his supervisor gets in. He hands Merritt some photos.)

CM: .....Unbelievable.

SS: Is something wrong, sir?

CM: What? No... no, everything is fine. Thank you.

SS: By your leave, Godfather?

CM: Just get out.

(The supervisor leaves, as Merritt continues to stare at the photos. Eventually he picks up the phone and dials three numbers.)

CM: Yes? This is Merritt. Put Gethard on the phone. Yes? Gregg? Merritt. We have a possible problem.

(Merritt pulls a pair of binoculars out of his briefcase and begins to scan the crowd through his office window.)

No... No. I think so. I'm looking right now... My office. Yes, there he is. Section 24, Row... 8. You know what he looks like... No, leave him alone. He paid for a ticket, just keep an eye on him... That's right, just be discreet. Thanks.

(He hangs up the phone, and looks back at the photos.)

CM: He's here....

(CUT TO: Rudy Seitzer, sitting at a desk researching information for his next addition of Grapevine. He is mumbling to himself.)

RS: Poison Ivy... (incoherent) K-9... (incoherent) Steve Radder... (incoherent) AAAHH! Why can't anything stay exactly the same?

(Rudy takes a sip of coffee... just then there's a knock at the door, Rudy jumps a bit, but then regains his composure and invites the knocker in. the man walks in with several sheets of papers stapled together.)

MAN: Here's the blood test results for the new year, Merritt told me to give you a copy for any drug abuse you could put on the Grapevine.

RS: But it's MAY!!

(The man shrugs then walks out. Rudy takes a look at the results as he takes another sip of his coffee. Suddenly Rudy almost spill his coffee all over himself, he brings the paper closer to his face as if to check something again. He then puts down his cup and the paper, stands up and leaves.)


(Rudy picks up a walkie- talkie...)

Bill, you there?

BB(Through walkie- talkie): I'm here Rudy. Don't tell me HE is, too...

RS: What? No... not yet. Listen, I've got a story for you...

(CUT TO: Hornet and Poison Ivy walking through the locker room area. They both look pretty upset...)

H: Merritt wants to see me after the event, in a meeting with the Board of Directors. This is where he plays his trump card, Ivy. Any info on what he might have to work with?

IVY: Nada. My usual sources haven't been told anything. And from what I've heard from the BOD, Merritt's keeping this one a complete surprise.

H: Well, I'm not worried. Merritt knows what a war against me would cost him. There's no way he has enough to do what he wants.

IVY: You're probably right. Look... I need to shower and change before the card, you need to hit yet another of those damn autograph sessions... what say we meet back in my locker room in an hour?

H: Sounds great.

(They embrace, with a very passionate kiss, then Hornet disappears down a hallway. Ivy turns and opens her locker room door... and stops dead in her tracks.)

IVY: What the...

(The room looks the same, exactly the same. However... the mirrors are covered in shaving cream in what looks to be a brick-like pattern.)

Ivy: He's here....

(CUT TO: The backstage. Ben Worthington and Patrick Young are talking to a new guy.)

BW: The most important thing to remember about being a CSWA official is that you can't let the wrestlers push you around. You can't let them forget who's in charge of the ring. I mean, Troutman was able to keep some sort of order in that match between Dante Inferno and Eddy Love! Ya gotta respect that.

NG: But how will I know where to be looking?

PY: You'll know. Believe me. Just don't put too much pressure on yourself. My dad did that and he had a heart attack in the middle of the ring.

NG: That's horrible! Oh, what should I do if someone offers me money? Who do I go to?

BW: Come straight to me. I'm the head referee of the CSWA. DON'T, and I mean DON'T pocket it. Manny Juarez did that a few years ago and he got deported.

NG: That's horrible!

PY (Distracted for just a second): Hey... Ben. Look at this.

(They crowd around one of the security monitors, in which a man of obvious Cuban descent is meandering about right inside the door.)

BW: He's here...

(CUT TO: Mark Vizzack's dressing room. He's listening to Queen on his radio, reading a magazine. Still in his street clothes. Sunshine is wearing a black tank top, miniskirt, and black stockings. A pair of well-worn black sneakers are on the floor. She is writing in a notebook, when a knock is heard at the door.)

SDP: Come in!


SDP: I said, you can come in!

(Nothing again, except something slid under the door. Vizzack gets up, picks the note up, and looks outside. Left, right... nothing there. He looks at the note, there is a drawing of a small tree on the front.)

MV: Sunshine, I think this is for you.

(He hands her the note and she begins to read it, her face getting more and more happy looking and excited.)

SDP: And it's signed, "The Awakening." He cares, Mark... he really cares.

MV: Let me see?

(She hands it to him.)

SDP: Do you know what this means?

(She runs to the mirror and checks her face)

SDP: He's here...

(CUT TO: Bill Buckley, straightening his tie in his dressing room. Rudy Seitzer's voice can still be heard through the walkie talkie on the table.)

BB: Are you sure about this, Rudy?

RS: Look at the blood results! That guy sent 'em to you too, didn't he?

BB: I'm not talking about that, are you sure this is LEGAL?

RS: If it's not, the San Antonio record's department won't give us the information anyway. And it's not the WORST thing the CSWA has done before.

(Bill Buckley reluctantly picks up a phone and dials in a number, waits for a second. You can't hear the other side, only Bill's side of the conversation.)

BB: Hello? San Antonio Department of Records? ....Yes, I'm Bill Buckley of the CSWA in Greensboro North Carolina....Yes I REALIZE I'm calling from Buffalo, we're doing a show here....Ok, ok... The reason I'm calling is to get information regarding Carol Wallace....Yes, we'd like information regarding her and any son she might have had in San Antonio. Do you have any blood samples, records, or birth certificates we could have, or that you could tell us about? ..... That many, huh? (Loud shouting on the other end...) Well how many laws DID she break? .......................... Wow. Well can we have information about her in writing?....... EVERY state police station? ........ Well, thank you. We'll be sure to check into that. (More loud shouting from the other end) I didn't mean ANYTHING by that. (Even more shouting on the other end) No I don't think "us yankees" are better then you....... OK BYE.

(Bill quickly hangs up the phone, and returns his attention to the walkie- talkie.)

BB: She says all we have to do is go to any police station in Buffalo to get the information on Miss Wallace.

RS: Great, MORE running around...... Uh, oh.... Bill? His car just pulled up.

BB: Shoot. Keep an eye, and try to stall him. If he's not at the meeting by 6, he can't be on the air. Those are the rules. I've got a lot of matches to get through tonight and I'll don't intend to hear "Survey Says" every ten seconds.

RS: Gotcha. Hooded Falcon, signing off.

BB: Ten-four. Wait a second.... He's here?

(CUT TO: CSWA Co- Commissioner Thomas' office. He's reading a preliminary copy of the new format for the Tribune. A buzz sounds from his desk.)

ST: Thomas here. Talk to me.

VCV(Through the speaker): It's Vice Commissioner Vizzachero. Steve, he's here!

ST: He's Here! Come in!

(Vizzachero flies through the door a minute later... carrying two pizza boxes.)

VCV: God Bless the Pizza Man!

ST: Exactly. Hey, turn on the television! I think the card's about to start!

(They turn on the TV... and flip channels to the closed circuit. ZOOM IN: The TV... and the screen, and larger and larger is the image.....

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(Faint cheers can be heard in the background, louder... louder... until the image fades to 20,000+ SCREAMING fans in the arena in Buffalo... CUT TO: Bill Buckley, standing alone at the broadcast position.)

BB: HELLO BUFFALO! Welcome to the event that sold out in less then two hours! Welcome to the CSWA! WELCOME... TO BATTLE OF THE BELTS!!! My name is Bill Buckley, and it looks like I'll be working alone tonight! But what a night we have for you! THREE CSWA Championships will be decided tonight! There's the tournament for the UNIFIED Tag Team Champ---

(CUE UP: Family Feud anthem as Richard Dawson heads to the table.)

Oh, no...

RD: Oh, YES! The Number One Answer of the Night, is the UNIFIED Tag Team Tournament! The UnHoly looks to be the favorites in this one, Bill!

BB: What are you doing here?

RD: They said I missed a meeting, but my contract is writ in stone! Go ahead, good buddy, tell us the rest of the card!

BB (Sighing): There's also the United States Title match, as "Iceman" Steve Radder takes on Nemesis in an attempt to bring the gold back to PLR, as well as the Greensboro--

(CUE UP: "Star Wars Fanfare" as Mark Hamill walks to the table.)

Why me?

MH: What was that? Why you? You're SO lucky tonight, Buckley! The Jedi Masters wanted three commentators tonight.

BB: Hamill... IT'S ONLY A MOVIE!

MH(Looking at him blankly): What... What's your point?

BB: Never mind. As I was saying, Aaron Douglas gets the opportunity to regain the Greensboro Title, and I need to make this announcement... DOUGLAS HAS SETTLED HIS SUIT AGAINST THE CSWA! With a last-minute addition to his legal team, we’ve received word that the CSWA settled with him for the sum of 2.5 million dollars. But what’s even more interesting….as far as we can tell, CSWA Co-Commissioner Merritt didn’t sign off on it before it happened! I can guarantee you we'll hear from Aaron Douglas on that in the days to come! Of course, we can't forget the GRUDGE MATCH of the YEAR... Hornet and Poison Ivy to take on Mark Vizzack and Sunshine! And I can tell you fans right now, this match is NOT going to come soon enough!

RD: One might think you don't LIKE us, Bill. That can't be the Number One Answer, now can it?

BB: Why me?

MH: Because you're special.

(CUE UP: "Stayin' Alive" - The Bee Gees)

BB (Looking up to the roof of the stadium): Thanks, I owe ya one.


#1 Disco Express vs. #9 Lunar Express

RJ: This contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is our FIRST Quarterfinal Match in the Unified Tag Team Tournament! Introducing first, accompanied by their manager, the Disco Midget, weighing in at a total combined weight of 488 pounds... Disco Inferno... Boogie Man... THE DISCO EXPRESS!

BB: Disco Express is boogieing down the aisle, and these fans can't help but to dance JUST a little bit, can they?

MH: They're no Cantina band, but they're not bad.

RD: I prefer listening to Gene Wood then these guys.

BB: Who?

RD: My announcer on the Feud.

(CUE UP: "Love Lifted Me" - Collective Soul)

RJ: Their opponents, accompanied to the ring by their manager, William H. Bradley III... At a total combined weight of 516 pounds... Stellar Stan... Galactic Grant... The LUNAR EXPRESS!

BB: This is only LE's second match in the CSWA, but I've got to tell you, they wrestled to IMPRESS back in Texas. Billed as the world's "Greatest Tag Team," they've got a tough road ahead of them to prove it, and it starts RIGHT HERE against Disco Express.

RD: The Number One Seed in this tournament looks to keep going. Mark my words.

BB: It looks like it's gonna be Boogie Man and Galactic Grant starting things off here tonight! They circle... and they lock up! Grant works Boogie Man into the ropes, and Patrick Young calls for the break!

MH: Boogie Man is getting angry. He won't understand how to win until he is calm. At peace.

BB: I don't want to get into that again. They circle again, and lock up! Boogie with a knee to the midsection! European uppercut! He sends Grant into the ropes, and tags in Disco Inferno! Drop toe hold by Boogie Man, and an elbow to the back by Inferno!

RD: You know, Disco could end up in the ring against his cousin later tonight?

BB: What?

RD: His cousin Dante is in this thing too.

BB: Oh, stop it! Disco picks up Grant, and drops him with a side slam! The cover, 1...........2.........NO! Grant kicks out! Disco picks him up, Irish Whip...

MH: He must feel it flow!

RD: He needs the number one answer!

BB: You two need to be quiet! Grant off the ropes, NO! Disco mistimes a backdrop, and Grant kicks him in the face! Whip to the ropes by Grant! HE TAGS STELLAR STAN! DOUBLE DROPKICK!

RD: Survey Sez!

BB: Knock it off! The cover, 1.............2............NO! Disco kicks out! Stellar Stan poses for the crowd, and Disco dives for his corner! YES! He makes the tag to the Boogie Man, and he hits Stan with a bulldog! And now it's Boogie Man dancing his heart out!

RD: It's not gonna work! The survey calls for a match, not a disco!

BB: I think Stan heard you! He rolls up Boogie Man from behind! He hooks the tights, 1...........2.............3! Lunar Express gets the win!

MH: Lunar Express did, Disco Express did not. There was no try.

BB: You really need to get a life.

RD: Yeah, like me!

BB: Oh, lord. Anyway, folks, whatever the circumstances, Lunar Express moves on to the semi- finals, and will face the winner of our next match.

(CUE UP: Jesus Christ Superstar)

MH: Here they come!

(CUT TO: The backstage. In Co-Commissioner Merritt's makeshift office with Sammy Benson.)

CM:  Alright, Benson.  Let's make this short and sweet.

SB:  No...I think I want to savor this one, Chad.  Let's run it down quickly.  I have what amounts to a class-action suit filed against you....I've got witnesses like Carl Young....and, of course, a surprise.

CM:  Lemme guess, Manuel Juarez is standing outside the door.  And he's willing to testify against me.

SB:  Wha?  How did you know that?

CM:  Listen you idiot....I didn't get where I am by being ignorant.  I'll tell you what, Sammy.  You know those provisions you wanted put in your contract?

SB:  Yeah.

CM:  Well, I tell you what.   You can have em. can have half-again the salary you requested.

SB:  Um.....what's the catch?

CM:  Smart man.....all you have to do is bring Manny in here, and we're all going to have a nice little chat......


#3 Arrogance vs. #5 Razor Meltdown

RJ: This contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is our second UNIFIED Tag Team Championship Tournament Quarterfinal Match! Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Ray S. Cornette and Teri Melton, weighing in at a combined 498 pounds... Peyton Wright... "Arrogance" Joey Melton... This... Is... ARROGANCE!

BB: Arrogance looks as good now as they did five years ago. Melton and Wright have been to the top before, and they could easily go back there tonight.

MH: They have the Force behind them. They can triumph.

BB: Just drop it. Oh, Teri... I miss the days that there was intelligent comments sitting next to me.

RJ: And their opponents...

(CUE UP: "Du Hast" - Rammestein)

Accompanied to the ring by "The Dark Angel" Silky Rose... At a total combined weight of 652 pounds... Blade... "The Destroyer" Dante Inferno... RAZOR MELTDOWN!

RD: There go the lights. Are you afraid, Hamill?

MH: I'm not afraid.

RD: You will be. You will be...

BB: Can we get back to the match? Inferno lights up the arena with his usual antics of fire and smoke, and we're ready for a tag team match!

RD: What is Rose wearing?

BB: She's wearing what appears to be a fishnet top... but there doesn't seem to be anything underneath it.


BB: Those aren't eyes, you nimrod. Those are... hey, those ARE eyes. Fans, for those of you whose feed has been edited, it would appear that Silky Rose has an eye tattooed above each nipple. It's very tittilating. I mean, interesting.

RD: It looks like we're gonna be starting this thing off with Blade and Joey Melton. Survey Sez... They lock up!

BB: Can we do the rest of this match without interruption?

MH: No.

BB: Oh lord. Blade sends Melton into the ropes, and Joey does a baseball slide under his legs! Joey plays some ringside psychology and slides to the outside! Pee Wee Troutman, officiating his second Dante Inferno match in a row, tells him to get back in, and he starts a ten count!

RD: Get back in there, Melton! Give these fans the Number One Answer!

BB: I'm almost afraid to ask.


BB: Melton slides back in, and he takes Blade down with a single leg takedown! And he locks on a side headlock! Wait a second... SILKY IS GOING AFTER TERI MELTON!

RD: Catfight!

BB: Teri knows how to fight, but Silky has her by the hair! Wait, Ben Worthington is trying to break it up! DANTE IS IN! DANTE IS IN! He grabs Melton by the hair and pulls him off Blade! Wright goes after Dante but Blade stops him! FIST TO THE NECK BY BLADE! He's got Peyton Wright on his KNEES! Dante picks up Melton... CHOKESLAM!

MH: Melton now knows the power of the Dark Side.

BB: Inferno spikes him again! Blade has taken Peyton Wright to the outside, and he drops him across the guardrail!

RD: Why doesn't Worthington pay attention to the match? Does it have something to do with the ladies?

MH: You're so clueless.

BB: On the outside, Rose has punched Teri Melton square in the face! OH MY GOD! I think he broke her nose! Ray S. Cornette pulls her back, and I believe she's crying!

MH: The Dark Side of the Force has her!

BB: Worthington finally returns his attention to the match, but all he sees is Joey Melton lying motionless on the mat, and Peyton Wright lying motionless on the outside!

RD: There's the bell. I believe Worthington has awarded the match to Razor Meltdown.

BB: Indeed he has. Melton and Wright were MASSACRED here tonight. And it'll be Lunar Express against Razor Meltdown in the semi- finals.


What? What happened to the lights?


BB: What is that? It doesn't sound like any of the UnHoly's voices.

RD: Maybe it's a new member.

MH: No... Obi-Wan! It's Ben! He needs my help! I've gotta go!

BB: What about the card? What about your contract?

MH: There are some things more important then wrestling, Buckley. The Force. It surrounds us, it binds the universe together. And it needs Luke Skywalker to defend it!

BB: Well, there goes Mark Hamill.

(The lights come back on.)

I'm being told through my earpiece by Marvin Parsons that he didn't do that. We're not exactly sure how the lights went down, or whose voice that was, but if it got Hamill out of here, I'm happy.

RD: Now it's just us. The Number One and Number Two Answers.

BB: It's also time for our third Quarterfinal match in the Tag Team Tournament. Let's head up to Rhubarb.

RJ: This contest is scheduled for ONE FALL... AND IT IS OUR THIRD Quarterfinal Match in the UNIFIED Tag Team Tournament!

(CUE UP: "The Power of Love" - Huey Louis and the News)

Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by Sweet Melissa, Susan, and Gina... At a total combined weight of 558 pounds... "Good God" Kevin Powers... "Hurricane" Eddy Love... THE POWERS OF LOVE!!!!

BB: Here comes two thirds of PLR, and they look ready to get some tag team gold. They've already been the World and United States Champions, respectively, time to give PLR their third taste.

RD: And they could very well do it. Hold on, Eddy has a microphone.

EL (IN RING): I have something to say to Richard Dawson, up in the booth. Timmy Windham and Mark Windham are in the back, and they're DEMANDING your presence to mediate their Family Feud. So get on back there!

BB: Wait just a second...

RD: I'll be back later, Buckley.

BB: What?

RD: Like Hamill said, some things are more important than wrestling. And... It's TIME... TO PLAY... THE FEUD!!!!!

(Dawson gets up and practically RUNS backstage.)

BB: Well... dreams really DO come true, it seems. I'm handling this one solo.


(CUE UP: "Hard Body Rock")

At a total combined weight of five hundred and eight pounds, "Hard Body" Bobby Jackson, and Crippler!


#2 Powers of Love vs. #10 Crippler/Bobby Jackson

BB: This "Cinderella" team of Bobby Jackson and Crippler did something unprecedented in San Antonio, they defeated former FOUR TIME Unified and EN World Tag Team Champions in Crazy Like a Muppet, Timmy Windham and Junior Hornet! They definitely have the skills to make it to the finals, but they need to get past the VERY dangerous Powers of Love.

(CUT TO: The backstage, a closet. Richard Dawson and Mark Hamill are inside, bound, gagged, and unconscious. The door closes.)

What was that? It looked like Dawson and Hamill... What's going on?

VOICE (from behind): Move it, Sparky, you're in my way!

BB (Frozen): Oh dear God, no...

VOICE: You better believe it.

BB: What are YOU doing here? I thought you were fired?

SB (Taking the seat next to Buckley): What's it look like? I've got journalistic integrity on the line here, I can't have you miscalling my man Eddy Love.

BB: Well, at least it's not Dawson or Hamill sitting there.

SB: Exactly. I'm better. I bring the ratings up.

BB: Can we start the match?

SB: I don't know, can we?

BB: It's gonna be Eddy Love and Crippler starting things off here... they lock up, and Eddy takes him down with a yank of the hair! Come on, Young!

SB: Eddy can do whatever he wants. He was robbed by the Worm at ELVIS LIVES, so it's allowed.

BB: That justifies nothing, Sammy!

SB: So sue me.

BB: I still want to know how you got in the building tonight.

SB: Let’s just say that when Merritt got what he wanted, I got what I wanted. Now I just have to get the feminazi out of my office.

BB: Can we concentrate on the match?

SB: What, you need my permission now?

BB: Eddy Love allows Crippler to get back to his feet, and they circle up one more time! Is it just me or does Eddy look like he's got nothing to worry about?

SB: He's got nothing to worry about. YES! Eddy with a thumb to the eyes!

BB: Patrick Young admonishes Love, but he shrugs it off! A scoop and a slam! There's the cover, 1............2.............NO! Crippler's not done yet!

SB: He might as well be.

BB: Love picks him up... and there's the tag to Powers. Eddy holds his arms, he's wide open! CHOP to the chest by Kevin Powers! And now Powers cinches in a bear hug!

SB: See how Powers and Love have cut this ring in half? That's smart wrestling. Powers has REALLY got that bear hug cinched in! We could see a submission here, mark my words!

BB: Crippler with a shot to Powers' face! And another! He's still got a lot of fight left in him!

SB: It's hopeless!

BB: CRIPPLER RAKES POWERS' EYES! Powers lets him go, and Crippler dives for the tag! JACKSON IS IN! He makes a run at Powers and is met with a short arm clothesline for his efforts!

SB: So much for that.

BB: Wait a second... Susan and Gina are approaching Crippler on the apron! Patrick Young tells them to return to their corner... NO! Sweet Melissa just tossed that Steel- Plated Bat to Kevin Powers!


BB: POWERS CONNECTS! He tosses the bat to the outside and makes the cover, 1.........2..........3! Powers and Love make it to the semi- finals, but not with out the aid of that steel plated bat!

SB: When the smoke clears, Buckley, nobody cares how. They just want to know WHO.

BB: Whatever, Sammy. We go now to Stan Parsons, in the aisle with Eddy Love and Kevin Powers.

(CUT TO: The aisle. Powers and Love, with their ladies, are returning to the backstage.)

SP: Kevin Powers, what we saw here tonight was one of the most unsportsmanlike things I've ever seen! How can you possibly hope to justify how you robbed Crippler and Bobby Jackson of that match?

KP: It's real simple, Stanley... We figure there's two more matches between us and the gold, why sweat the little people?

EL: Whatever works. And remember, the CSWA with Sammy Benson is OH SO MUCH HOTTER!

SP: There you have it. Back to you, Bill.

(CUT TO: Buckley and Benson)

BB: That was disgraceful. Absolutely disgraceful.

SB: But I'm glad to see some things don't change. Eddy and Kevin are still rotten sons of (bleep). And after tonight, ALL of PLR is gonna be golden.

BB: Um, the language Sammy.  It could very well be, regardless of their tactics. Fans, we've got one more Quarterfinal match tonight, and it pits Apocalypse and Pat Black against The Privateers. Sammy, both of these teams showed real skill in the first round. Either of them will be a tough test for Powers and Love.

SB: But you've got to look at it like this... The Black Army and the Privateers are both good teams, so they're probably going to have a long, hard match, whereas Eddy and Kevin are still pretty fresh. That's gotta swing the advantage to Powers of Love.

BB: Let's get back to ringside.


#4 Black Army vs. #6 Privateers

RJ: Ladies and gentlemen... The following contest, is our FINAL MATCH in the Quarterfinals of the Unified Tag Team Championship Tournament!!!

(CUE UP: "Black Sabbath" - Black Sabbath)

Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by Lady Death... From The Unholy... Weighing in at a total combined weight of 528 pounds... Apocalypse... Pat Black... THE BLACK ARMY!!

BB: This is the team to watch, in this tournament. This pairing of Unholy may not have Dante Inferno on it, but this team of Apocalypse and Pat Black is one that has yet to find its equal.

SB: Not to mention Lady Death and those tight outfits of hers!

BB: They've got just as tough a team in their opponents, however.

RJ: AND THEIR OPPONENTS... coming down the aisle?

BB: Fans, CSWA Vice-Commissioner Vizzachero is headed to ringside very rapidly.

SB: Of course he is. Merritt and Thomas sent him. And if you don't move fast enough, people get pooped.

BB: Point taken. Vizzachero is talking to Pee Wee Troutman and Patrick Young.

RJ: Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. I have just been informed that the Privateers have not shown up to the building tonight, so The Black Army will advance to the semi- finals, by default!


BB: So much for Powers and Love being fresh as an advantage. Fans, the quarterfinal round is over, and we've narrowed the field from sixteen teams to four! Standing by right now is Rudy Seitzer with the official standings!

(CUT TO: Rudy Seitzer, standing in front of Mark Vizzack's dressing room.)

RS: That's right, Bill, we're four teams away from NEW Unified Tag Team Champions! We've had a TREMENDOUS night of action so far, and it's only gonna get hotter! As of now, do we? Yes, we have official brackets to show you!

#9 Lunar Express vs. #5 Razor Meltdown

#2 Powers of Love vs. #4 The Black Army

As you can see, The Unholy still has two teams involved! Mathematically speaking, they are still the favorites to take home the tag team titles.

BB: Thank you, Rudy. Speaking of the Unholy, Nemesis is set to defend the United States Title against "Iceman" Steve Radder--

RS: That's up next?

BB: Yup.

RS: Shoot! I've gotta get to the ring!

(CUT TO: Buckley and Benson)

SB: What was that about? Is Seitzer still taking his pills?

BB: That's none of our concern... but yes.

RJ: This contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the CSWA United States Heavyweight Championship!

(CUE UP: "Bulls On Parade" - Rage Against the Machine)



RJ: Introducing first, is the challenger! Accompanied to the ring by his manager, Kelly... From New York, New York... weighing in at 237 pounds.... "ICEMAN" STEVE RADDER!!!

BB: Radder looks ready. He's taken the majority of the abuse from The Unholy to date and he's DYING For some payback.

SB: Payback's a b*tch, but if she looks like Kelly I'm game.

BB: Stop it, Sammy.


VOICE(From behind the curtains): Drop the mic, Jonesy.

(K-9 emerges from behind the curtain mic in hand.)

K-9: And his opponent, and current CSWA UNHOLY United States Champion! Hailing from the dark shadows in the fiery pits of hell, under the South Carolina section. Weighing in at 246 pounds without his belt, and 256 pounds with the US strap on. Being accompanied to the ring by Unholy brother, K-9, he is NEMESIS!!! HIT THE (bleeped) MUSIC!!

(CUE UP: "Freak on a Leash" - KoRn. Nemesis appears from behind the curtain wearing the United States title around his waist, wearing his black tights, torn up shirt reading the "US champ has a little "Sunshine"". And carrying a steel chair that reads "Sunshine" in yellow print on the seat. He walks down to the ring with K-9 who's wearing torn up blue jean shorts, a black shirt that says "I'm not stupid/I just don't care". And his leather jacket. K-9 carries the mic down to the ring with him. Nemesis snaps his head around as if suspecting somebody to attack him. Nemesis and K-9 get into the ring, K-9 slumps into the corner, Nemesis circles inside the ring. The chorus to "Freak on a Leash" hits and pyro shoots out of all 4 corners of the ring. The music dies down and K-9 tosses the mic to Nemesis)

Nemesis: (proudly holding "Sunshine" up) "Sunshine" can DO IT ALL! You saw her! You saw what she did in Orlando! (points to a dent in the chair) she is the best, all around, valet I've ever been with. "Sunshine" is just the BEST! She's strong, and oh so BEAUTIFUL!!

(Nemesis unfolds the chair and puts it down, as if letting "Sunshine" cut a pose. Then he starts clapping, his is the only applause in the entire arena. Then he tosses the mic to K-9)

K-9: Tonight,an entire world has tunes in to see one of the greatest hardcore legends in the making defeat not only Nemesis, but the Unholy as well;so he can go on and say he beat the greatest grappler of the modern era; the CSWA United States Champion, Nemesis. and 90% of those fans have tuned in to see a bitter shell of a daredevil gain the most prized trophy in all the land and those same people have come to cheer at his side as he vanquishes their hated nemesis. But 10% of those people have come to scream at the sold out corporate powers to be. Those 10% have come to raise their arms in a crucifix to symbolize that we are indeed martyrs for a disfunctional society and those 10% came to see Nemesis win. Radder, yeah you, with Kelly over there in the corner. You have chosen your own destiny, it didn't have to be this way, you could have just taken a back seat to the Unholy like everybody else and saved yourself and (bleep)-cutting.

But unfortunately for the fool that you are, you chose to go up against Nemesis. The prices for winning are high, you would win status, the title, more money, everything. BUT, and this is a big but. Larger then the one Merritt sits on as we speak. You have to go through Nemesis, the man who took "Total Elimination" Eli Flair, the "King of Extreme" out of commission in a barbed wire ladder match. The man who damn near DESTROYED Hornet, and the man who damn near KILLED Bobby Jackson. He has left Bobby Jackson in ruins, sputtering words, doing his best "I-O-I" impersonation talking about "destiny", and claiming to be destroying the Unholy. He has left Hornet with no option but to attack people with iron brands, and have Poison Ivy carry him around by little Johnson. Radder, you have made the fatal error of going against my Unholy brother, the Unholy Nemesis, the--

(Rudy Seitzer appears running down the rampway, he stops halfway)

RS: (trying to catch his breath.) You're more right in that then you think, K-9.

(K-9 turns his head towards Seitzer with a puzzled look on his face)

RS: That's right, I have here (holds up a pack of papers) information about your mother, Carol Wallace, from the Buffalo police.

Nemesis: (jokingly) OOHHHH, he's talking about YO' MAMA! I wouldn't take that!

RS: I'm talking about your mother too Nemesis.

(Nemesis snaps his head to look at Rudy.)

RS: Yes, it seems polices friend, Carol, the arsonist, tax cheat, insurance fraud, amongst other things............... is also a mother of, TWO.

K-9: Carol's my mother, she burned the house down and left me for dead, I have no brothers. What are you getting at Rusty?

RS: Do you know where she went after that?

K-9: Of course not, she had no idea I was alive. As far as I cared, she could have been dead.

RS: Well, this is a Grapevine EXCLUSIVE! Apparently she fled to South Carolina to avoid state laws, where she met up with a man named Thomas Aishton. I believe you know him Nemesis.

K-9: Spit it out Rudy.

RS: Blood test, birth cirtificates, and many other things indicate, K-9, Nemesis, as well as being Unholy "brothers". You are blood brothers of a different father!!

(K-9 stands up, Nemesis folds "Sunshine" up. K-9 and Nemesis look at each other, then at Rudy. The crowd doesn't know what to make of this.)

K-9: And why are we supposed to believe this? Because you tell us this? Because we have hear-say from you, from police? Do you really think we're that gullible?

RS: Fine, look on the screen.

(The video wall behind Rudy shows a picture of a lady)

RS: Is that your mother?

Nemesis & K-9: Yeah.

(K-9 and Nemesis look at each other with a shocked look on their faces. Nemesis runs over to K-9 like a child who was lost from his mother in the mall for a few minutes and hugs him tightly. K-9 still has the mic in hand.)

K-9: For you destiny is written, so it shall come to pass, I-O-I, Unholy, get that (bleep) written down!

(Rudy leaves, and Nemesis finally lets go of the hug. Nemesis hands the US title to K-9 and K-9 goes to ringside.)

BB: I....I...... K-9 and Nemesis...

SB: Knock it off, Buckley. You're actually surprised by something that happened in the CSWA?

BB: Point taken. In any case, we're ready to get this one underway! There's the bell, and Radder wastes no time and attacks Nemesis in his own corner! He's nailing him with left and right hands! Now with Reverse Knife Edges! Radder climbs the turnbuckles! He's pounding him with rights! (with crowd) ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN! Radder comes down, Nemesis walks out of the corner, and LANDS FLAT ON HIS FACE! Radder off the ropes, LEGDROP TO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD!

SB: I'm not worried under the tutelage of that genius, Apocalypse, there is no way Nemesis can lose.

BB: Yeah, well Nemesis is big trouble right now. Radder with a SNAP SUPLEX...Nailed it. Radder picks up Nemesis, and throws him off the ropes and gives him a BIG BACK BODY DROP!

SB: He was in the LIGHTS on that one. I don't believe the height on that hold.

BB: An upset Steve Radder is a dangerous one. Radder is taking Nemesis up to the TOP ROPE! He lands a right hand, and now is GOING FOR A TOP ROPE SUPERPLEX! HERE IT COMES..... Nemesis is in huge trouble! Radder gets up, and WILL NOT PIN HIM! That may be a mistake, Sammy. Radder is too angry to be smart.

SB: But I think Nemesis is too hurt to do anything about it really does not matter. Radder with an Irish Whip, he goes for another BACK BODY DROP....NO! Nemesis COUNTERS WITH A DDT!

BB: Great move by Nemesis.

SB: I told you he would turn it around.

BB: Yeah, whatever. Nemesis now with a KNEEDROP, and goes for the pin, 1...........2...........NO! Radder with a kickout. Nemesis goes for a SWINGING NECKBREAKER...!

SB: I think the neck and spine of Radder may have gotten separated on that one.

BB: I doubt that Sammy. Nemesis is still holding his back in pain, after that TR Superplex given to him.  Nemesis is going for a PILEDRIVER......! Nemesis hit that perfectly! He covers, 1.............2............3!NO! Radder with a kickout. Nemesis with an Irish Whip, and nails a CLOTHESLINE! Nemesis is heading to the TOP ROPE, SAMMY!

SB: This could make or break the match! Radder gets up, AND IS DECAPITATED WITH A TOP ROPE CLOTHESLINE!

BB: This could be it folks! 1............2...........3! NO! NO! The ref said, Radder got a shoulder up! Nemesis is up, and arguing with the referee Ben Worthington. He's not paying attention to Radder! Radder gets up, and DROPKICKS Nemesis INTO THE REFEREE! THE REF FELL OUT OF THE RING! Nemesis up again, AND MET WITH ANOTHER DROPKICK! Radder off the ropes, and Nemesis gets up....BIG LARIAT! The fans love it, and Radder is going ballistic! Radder with an Irish Whip....! BIG POWERSLAM!

SB: He's going to work on that back again! HERE COMES K-9 INTO THE RING! IT'S ALL GOING TO BLOW UP NOW!

BB: Radder sees him, and catches him with a RIGHT hand as he enters the ring! Radder with an Irish  Whip....FRANK-N-PARSONS! LOOK OUT! Nemesis from behind with a CLOTHESLINE! K-9 rolls out of the ring, and gets a CHAIR! He throws it to Nemesis. He gets in the ring, and is now holding up Radder. Nemesis charges....! NO! Radder takes a shot to the head with that chair, and he's down!

SB: Here comes Worthington, he's starting to move!

BB: Nemesis hooks the leg, 1............2.............3! Nemesis retains, but this one has controversy all over it! WAIT! Junior Referee Patrick Young is coming down, and he's talking to Rhubarb and Worthington!

SB: I think he told him about the chair! Look, Radder's starting to come around!

BB: YES! The chair is still in the middle of the ring! Worthington looks at Rhubarb and tells him, I think he said that the match will continue!

SB: Nemesis is ANGRY! He's arguing with Worthington! K-9 is arguing with Patrick Young! This is bad, Buckley!

BB: RADDER'S UP! HE ATTACKS NEMESIS FROM BEHIND! Set up... ABSOLUTE ZERO! The cover, 1.............2.............3! 3! RADDER DID IT!

SB: PLR's got the US Title again... one down, one to go tonight.

BB: K-9 hits the ring, and he's ALL OVER RADDER! K-9 drops him with a DDT, and he's putting the boots to him! HERE COME POWERS AND LOVE! Nemesis and K-9 are out of there!


BB: Once again, the Unholy did the damage... but this time, Radder struck first blood, and he is the NEW United States Heavyweight Champion!

(Radder takes the CSWA United States title and stares down at it in his hands for a couple seconds with wide eyes. He then walks slowly to one corner of the ring, and holds the belt in the air with one hand, while pointing towards Kelly - and her family - with the other. The biggest grin of his CSWA career has crossed his face, and most of the fans in the arena (incorrectly) assume Radder is pointing at them - leading them to give a loud pop for the new US Champion. He turns away and beckons for a microphone - and is quickly given one.)

Radder : I ... did ... it.

[A smaller, but still loud pop.]

Radder : I did it!

[He turns and stares back towards Kelly, who is being helped to the ring by several security guards.]

Radder : Kelly!

[He steps quickly to the ropes to help Kelly in to the ring, and pulls her in for a long kiss. In front of her family, Kelly's cheeks turn bright red.]

Radder : It's mine! I ...

[Radder is interuppted by Kelly tapping on his shoulder. He turns around, still with that large grin on his face. Kelly now has her own microphone.]

Kelly : Steve, I'm pregnant.

Radder : I'm the US Champion!

Kelly : [puzzled.] Steve, I'm pregnant.

Radder : Look at my new belt!

Kelly : [Looking at Radder as if he's got three eyes.] Steve ...

Radder : Yes.

Kelly : [Emphasizing every word.] I'm ...

Radder : Uh huh?

Kelly : Pregnant.

[Radder looks up and a little to the left as if running these words through his head another time. Finally, he lowers his head, and you see his Adam's apple work.]

Radder : Steve, I'm pregnant.

Kelly : Yes.

[Radder turns back towards Kelly's family, and looks at her father, a rather large man, and a look that almost says "I Didn't Do It" cross his face as he holds his arms out, and the US Title falls to the mat. Kelly's father throws back his head and laughs.]

Radder : IIIIII ...

Kelly : Steve.

Radder : Oooohhh ...

Kelly : STEVE.

Radder : Myyyy ....

Kelly : STEVE!

[Radder turns to Kelly with wide eyes.]

Radder : goodnessgraciousme ...

Kelly : ... Are you OK?

Radder : I'm 20.

Kelly : Yeeeeesss ...

Radder : You're 19.

Kelly : Uh ... huh.

Radder : [Points back towards Kelly's father.] He's not going to kill me?

Kelly : [Burts out laughing.] No!

Radder : [Indecipherable noise.]

Kelly : [Still laughing.] Let's get you to the back, big boy.

Radder : [A small whimper escapes his lips.]

Kelly : Don't forget your new belt, dear.

Radder : Uhhhhhhuhhhhh.

[Radder bends over very slowly and picks up his belt.]

Kelly : Got everything?

Radder : Uhhhhhuhhhhh.

Kelly : OK. Now hold onto my arm.

Radder : Oooooookay.

Kelly : Let's go get something to eat.

Radder : Ohalright.

Kelly : [Laughs and shakes her head one more time, looking at the crowd.] Excuse us ... please.

(Radder and Kelly leave the ring, and their hometown crowd gives a standing ovation.)

BB : Fans, you're watching Battle of the Belts 16, Personal Business, but coming up in June... ANNIVERSARY!

(CUT TO: ANNIVERSARY 1999 promo)

(Sunshine's lockeroom. We see the reflection of Sunshine in a mirror. Her black hair wets her shoulders, as it runs down her back. In the background, "The Trick is to Keep Breathing" by Garbage plays softly on a radio. She attempts to push a comb through it, but is quickly distracted by her thoughts. She turns to her left, and gazes briefly at herself. A smile, though faint, surprises her face. Approval, for Sunshine is a rarity. But, who could argue that fate owes her some measure of forgiveness.

Her match inches closer to becoming a reality. In preparation she begins to box with her reflection. Fitting, in a sense that Sunshine has always been her own worst enemy.

Unbeknownst to her, Mark Windham resides at the doorway. His ongoing search, has led him to another city, another soul. Ironically, it was Windham seeing his own reflection years ago that spun his life out of control. Now, the awakening brings forth potential answers. And in the beautiful, woman before him, possible salvation.)

MW: (smiling) I doubt, you'll beat anybody like that.

(Sunshine's attention quickly turns to Windham. Again, her face bears home to a smile, though not as faint as before.)

SDP: Mark! I received your note.

(Windham calmly walks into the room.)

MW: You, prepared for Ivy tonight? Experience is hard to fight against.

(Sunshine seems slightly put off by his warning.)

SDP: I'm as ready as……you know the rest.

MW: Snap your wrist, on impact.

(Sunshine softly fires her right fist in the air.)

SDP: Like that?

MW: (smiles) Like that.

(Sunshine again boxes her reflection, engrossed with her technique.)

MW: (touches Sunshine's left shoulder)I think..

(Out of reflex she spins and pops Mark in the nose. He steps back a couple feet and assesses the damage.)

SDP: Arg!! Mark, I'm sorry! I didn't mean..

MW: It's been broken before.

SDP: Really, oh……I've screwed it up..

MW: I'm fine, I promise. Just remind me to never teach you how to use a gun.

(Sunshine has a look of guilt on her face)

MW: You can laugh, I hope.

SDP: (smiles) Can we just start over?

MW: Don't believe so.

(Sunshine hesitates to say what's on her mind, but eventually proceeds.)

SDP: I think of Thelma a lot. About, her life without you.

MW: That's a choice I made long ago.

SDP: How could you choose to leave your daughter!

(Sunshine starts to get emotional.)

You can't abandon her, she can't become me.

MW: The path that I've followed over the last couple of years was laid before me. I had, to walk it. Otherwise, I risk losing the truth.

SDP: The truth?

MW: The truth about what happened that night. If I turned my back on the door that fate opened for me, the answers my life rests on would lie dead forever. Sacrifices were made, but with any quest for the better of one's soul, they are made. I had to leave. For her sake as well. What I seek, and what I've found so far, will serve me soon. They'll awaken the truth, as my family knows it, from it's corrupted sleep.

SDP: I want to help you Mark, but…I need to get closer. I feel….

(Sunshine struggles to find strength)

Ahhhhhhh! You make me nervous.

MW: (smiles a bit) That's what you wanted to tell me?

(Sunshine tries to find the words she's looking for, but Mark interrupts.)

MW: You need to get ready for the night. Ivy's probably eating nails as we speak.

(Sunshine laughs, mostly out of relief that the moment is broken.)

MW: (takes her hand) I'll find you afterwards….

(Windham turns and walks out of the room. As he does, Sunshine's shoulders slump down a bit, and she focuses on the mirror once more.)

SDP: (hurriedly) I have...

(She looks at the door, and caves into her feelings. Blushing as she touches her nose and laughs...)

Cue Up: "Du Hast" - Rammestein)

RJ: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is our first UNIFIED Tag Team Championship Tournament Semi-Final match! Introducing first... accompanied to the ring, by "The Dark Angel" Silky Rose... at a total combined weight of 652 pounds... Blade... Dante Inferno... RAZOR MELTDOWN!


#9 Lunar Express vs. #5 Razor Meltdown

BB: It looks like we're going to forego the theatrics of the early evening, as Dante and Blade, along with Silky Rose head to ringside. They head to the ring rather quickly, I think they want to put LE away as quickly as possible, and get to the finals.

SB: Silky can walk as quick as she wants. Bouncy Bouncy Bouncy...

BB: Sammy, it's strangely a comfort to know that you gained absolutely zero maturity between Elvis Lives and now.

SB: Some things just SHOULDN'T change.

(CUE UP: "Love Lifted Me" - Collective Soul)

RJ: Their opponents, accompanied to the ring by their manager, William H. Bradley III... At a total combined weight of 516 pounds... Stellar Stan... Galactic Grant... The LUNAR EXPRESS!

BB: Stan and Grant sprint down the aisle and hit the ring! Galactic Grant goes after Dante Inferno, but Inferno drops him with a chokeslam! Good Lord, Sammy... he's powerful!

SB: What do you expect from a 400 pound man? Of course he's going to be powerful!

BB: Inferno picks Grant up by the hair and hurls him into the Lunar Express corner like a rag doll, and he's waving Stellar Stan into the ring! Stan makes the tag and here we go! He locks up with Inferno, and the big man just tossed him into the neutral corner like he was nothing! Stan comes out of the corner and locks up with Inferno again. He grabs the big man by the hair and tries to pull him down, but to no avail!

SB: That's just going to make him angry! He grabs Stan by the throat and delivers an incredible choke slam!

BB: Inferno comes off the ropes and hammers Stan with a big legdrop! The cover!1.........2..........NO! Stan got his shoulder up! Inferno has dominated the action thus far! He whips Stan off of the ropes and oh my! He caught him with a tremendous boot to the face! Stan might be out! He's down in the center of the ring! Inferno comes off the ropes for a splash... NO! Bradley grabbed the leg and tripped the big man!

SB: Way to go, Billy! The bigger they are, the harder they fall!

BB: Inferno gets to his feet and he turns around, and he's STARING at William H. Bradley! Stan gets back to his feet! He clips Inferno in the knee from behind, and the big man falls through the ropes and onto the arena floor! Now Stellar Stan walks over and slaps Blade right in the face, drawing him into the ring and into an argument with Patrick Young! On the outside, Inferno is stalking Bradley!

SB: No way he'll catch him! He's too smart for that to happen!

BB: Galactic Grant comes up from behind and nails Inferno in the back with a steel chair! The referee is still arguing with Blade! Grant hammers Inferno again with the chair! Inferno rolls back into the ring and he's met by Stellar Stan with a kick to the head! Now Stan makes the tag to Grant! They whip Inferno off the ropes and catch him with a double clothesline! The big man didn't go down! Now Grant catches him in the chest with a flying dropkick! Inferno still didn't fall! Grant now runs to the outside and climbs to the top rope! He comes off and catches Inferno in the face with a dropkick! That staggered him, but he still didn't go down!

SB: Stellar Stan crawls into the ring and sets up behind Inferno! Grant catches him with another dropkick! Inferno staggers back and trips over Stan! They finally got him down!

BB: Grant now with the cover! One...Two...No! Inferno just tossed Grant high in the air and off of him! It will take more than a dropkick to finish Inferno! The big man gets back to his feet, but Grant is on the top rope! Here he comes off the top! Flying! Inferno caught him in midair and crushed him with an awesome powerslam! Now Inferno makes the tag to Blade!

SB: Inferno should have covered him right there!

BB: You might be right, but Blade is staying right on Galactic Grant! He whips the youngster off of the ropes and catches him with a lariat! The cover! One...Two...No! Grant barely got his shoulder up! Now he sets Grant up for a! Back body drop by Galactic Grant!

SB: The kid pulled a great move out of his hat there! Look at Bradley Teri jump for joy!

BB: Grant crawls through Blade's legs and makes the tag to Stellar Stan! Stan comes in and nails Blade with a hard right hand! Blade responds with a right hand of his own! Stan with a kick to the gut and sets him up for a! Blade blocked it, picks him up and delivers an inverted atomic drop! Stan is doubled over in pain! Blade off the ropes from behind...BULLDOG! That could do it! 1............2...........NO! Stan kicked out! This has been a great tag team match thus far!

SB: Come on, Blade! You can do it!

BB: Blade has Stan in the corner now and he's just driving his shoulder into the rib cage of the challenger! He makes the tag to Inferno now! Blade whips Stan across the ring into the neutral corner and then he whips Inferno in! Avalanche! Oh my! That could have killed Stan! Inferno is now just working Stan over in the corner like a punching bag!He's giving him a real beating with rights and lefts to the head and ribs! He whips Stan across the ring again and Stan hit that corner with tremendous impact! He's in trouble here! Inferno charges in for another avalanche! No!

SB: Bradley grabbed Stellar from the outside and shoved him out of the corner! Inferno hit the ringpost very hard! Gotta love that man!

BB: Stan crawls over and makes the tag to Grant! Grant is in there like a house of fire on Inferno! A flurry of kicks and punches by the youngster! He whips Inferno off the ropes and catches him with a sleeper! He's on the big man's back with a sleeper hold on!

SB: Grant is trying to wrap his legs around Inferno's chest too, but he's much too big for that! Grant has to be in this piggy back position because Inferno is too tall for Grant's feet to touch the ground!

BB: Inferno backed up hard into the corner and just squashed Grant, breaking the hold! Now he whips Grant off of the ropes! He put his head down and Grant catches him with a sunset flip! Can he get the big man over? No way! Inferno dropped down and just sat on Galactic Grant! That could do it! One...Two...No! Stellar Stan made the save! Blade charges in and catches Stan with a clothesline that sends him over the top rope and onto the floor!

SB: I don't like the looks of this!

BB: Inferno whips Grant off the ropes and now he does the same to Blade...SUPER TORPEDO! Grant did a complete 360 in the air and landed hard on his head! Now Inferno picks him up! Blade to the top rope! SPIKE PILEDRIVER! Hey... what's this?

SB: What's the Worm doing here? Get him outta the ringside! He'll get his later!

BB: Mark Vizzack has emerged from the curtain, and he's DARING Inferno to come down! Dante hasn't forgotten about his prey, has he?

SB: I should hope not! Inferno's coming! But he's the legal man!

BB: Silky Rose told him that, and... INFERNO TAGGED BLADE IN! INFERNO'S COMING DOWN THE AISLE! Young is telling him to get back into the ring, but behind them, William H. Bradley hooked Blade's ankle and he goes down! STAN AND GRANT UNLOAD WITH A PAIR OF CHAIRS!

SB: This is wrong!

BB: Vizzack and Inferno are going at it again! Dante grabs him by the throat... CHOKESLAM! And in the ring, Blade receives a double chokeslam! There's the cover, Grant tells Young to turn around, 1..........2............3! LUNAR EXPRESS GETS IT!

SB: That's not fair, Vizzack caused it!

BB: The sound of the bell causes Inferno to turn... and he's coming back toward the ring and Lunar Express are OUT of there! So is Vizzack! Nevertheless, Vizzack gets some revenge on Dante Inferno for past abuses, and Lunar Express are now in the FINALS of the Tag Team Tournament, to face either Powers of Love or the Black Army! The Unholy's not out of this one yet!

(CUT TO: The backstage. A modified conference room is now filled with the CSWA Board of Directors.  Chad Merritt sits at the head of the table with Manuel Juarez.)

CM:  So, Manuel, you're saying that you were paid to follow their plan to the T at WINTER'S WARRIORS?

MJ:  Si, senor.

CM:  And that plan was to make sure that Mark Windham won the match, with Hornet's interference.

MJ:  Si, senor.

CM:  There you have it, folks.   If you'd like to see the tape again, I'll be happy to rewind it. 

Steve Day:  Alright,'ve proved that the match was setup....but why are we even reviewing this?  It was three years ago!

CM:  Mr. Day....we're talking about the Enterprise World Title....which was at one point the CSWA's version of the World Championship.  By doing what he did, Hornet degraded the title and the CSWA.   Whether it's three weeks or three years ago, we're talking about a man we pay a large fortune to.

SD:  Don't you mean what 'they' did?   Windham was there too.

CM:  Yeah, sure, whatever.  But Mark Windham doesn't currently have the World Title around his waist.

SD:  You seriously want us to consider this farce?

CM:  All I'm asking for is a vote.

Sunshine:  I second the motion.   I believe that means we're required to vote.

CM:  There are a couple of others Directors in the building, currently working on the show.  I think we better bring them all in on this to make sure we have a quorum.


#2 Powers of Love vs. #4 The Black Army

 (CUE UP: "Black Sabbath" - Black Sabbath)

RJ: This contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is our last semifinal match in the UNIFIED Tag Team Tournament! Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by Lady Death... at a total combined weight of five hundred and twenty- eight pounds... Apocalypse... Lady Death... THE BLACK ARMY!

BB: This is it, it's The Unholy's last shot at the gold. I can't believe Razor Meltdown isn't in the finals. Dante Inferno has a definite weakness when it comes to Mark Vizzack, one that cost them BIG TIME tonight.

SB: Still... I get to stare at Lady Death. And my man Eddy will be out here soon.

(CUE UP: "The Power of Love" - Huey Lewis and the News)

RJ: AND THEIR OPPONENTS... accompanied to the ring by Susan and Gina, as well as Sweet Melissa... at a total combined weight of 558 pounds... "Good God" Kevin Powers... "Hurricane" Eddy Love... THE POWERS OF LOVE!

BB: Remember, Sammy... neither of these teams wrestled what you could call a very taxing match in the quarterfinals, and in the case of the Black Army... no match at ALL. That puts them on even ground in this match, but they have a definite advantage in the finals, as Lunar Express has already wrestled two grueling matches!

SB: See? Everything works out for Eddy.

BB: It may very well, though Powers and Love would be fools to look past Pat Black and Apocalypse. Okay, we're ready to start this off, and it's gonna be Kevin Powers and Apocalypse in there. They lock up, and it's POWERS who is backed into the ropes! Ben Worthington is calling for the break, and Apoc with a slap to Powers' face!

SB: These people want to see Eddy! Well... they really want to see a catfight, with some mud wrestling... but still.

BB: Can you pay attention to the match?

SB: No.

BB: I should've known. Powers and Apoc circle again, and they lock up! This time Powers is sent into the ropes! Irish whip... shoulderblock.. and neither man goes down!

SB: It's like staring into a mirror, isn't it?

BB: Yes, it is. Wait a second... Eddy Love is calling for the tag! He gets in there, and Apocalypse bounces off the ropes! Love tries to grab the arm, but Apocalypse sends him off into the opposite ropes! He comes back... POWERSLAM! Love is down!

SB: Eddy's gonna win. That's all that matters.

BB: Apocalypse picks up Love and makes the tag to Black. Black comes into the ring and kicks Love in the gut. He then picks up Love and slams him back down to the mat, as Apocalypse leaves the ring. He goes to pick him up again, but is met with a punch to the stomach from Love.

SB: See?

BB: Love hits Black again, and again with punches, and he turns and makes a quick dash over to Powers to make the tag, but Black is still aware enough to drag Love away from making the tag. You can tell that the Black Army are trying to cut the ring in half!

SB: What's the matter here? Powers and Love need to get their heads clear. Is Powers still thinking about what happened at PRIMETIME?

BB: Apocalypse is tagged back in, and he suplexes Love to the mat. He lifts him up, and connects with a piledriver. Apocalypse makes the cover, and Worthington makes the count. 1...........2........ NO! Powers dives in and makes the save, and after this Black comes in and starts to brawl with Powers!

SB: Look, even the ladies are getting into it! Well, Gina is, anyway. Shake it, girl!

BB: All four men are now on their feet and it seems that all the rules have been thrown out the window! Powers staggers Apocalypse back to the ropes, and with a diving cross body, both of them go over the top rope and to the floor. They are now fighting like crazy on the floor, grabbing various things around the ringside area. I think Worthington has given up on trying to DQ anyone.

SB: It wasn't gonna happen. These two teams are just TOO AGAINST each other to wrestle a serious match. They're out to hurt each other.

BB: Worthington calls for the legal men to get into the ring, and Love and Black ARE indeed in there, but they're not legal! Powers and Apocalypse continue to brawl on the outside!

SB: Does it matter? Worthington knows the history, he knows how things work. He's got two men in the ring, one from each team, and they're gonna wrestle.

BB: Point taken. Love with a shot to Black's stomach, and a DDT! There's the cover, 1............2............NO! He picks Black up... POWERBOMB! 1...............2............NO! Black gets the foot on the ropes!

SB: And of course, Powers and Apoc are trying to kill each other. Powers is my Number Two, but Eddy's gonna get the glory in this one.

BB: He may very well do that. Wait a second... Gina is up in Lady Death's face! She's screaming something at her! And now Susan is on the apron trying to get Ben Worthington's attention!

SB: The PLR Master Plan is in effect!

BB: What?

SB: PLR ALWAYS has a plan!

BB: Well, Susan has GOT Worthington's attention, and behind them, Pat Black rakes Love in the face! He's setting him up... SUPERPLEX! Black goes for the cover, but there's no referee to make the count! Gina has backed down from Lady Death!

SB: See?

BB: Black gets up to retrieve Ben Worthington... wait... What's Melissa doing?


BB: Lady Death gabs Susan and pulls her down, but Eddy winds up..... HOME RUN! He caught Black square in the head! He sends the bat to the outside and scoops Black up... HURRICANE PILEDRIVER! On the outside, Powers sends Apocalypse into the guardrail! There's the cover, 1............2..........3! POWERS OF LOVE ARE IN THE FINALS!

SB: Melissa and Gina slide into the ring, and they both hug Eddy! This is your night, PLR!

BB: On the outside, Susan is still fighting with Lady Death, and Powers is still going at it with Apocalypse! Eddy sees this and he goes out to join him!

SB: Where's Sweetie and Gina?

BB: They're watching the men fight... Susan and Lady Death are still going at it as well, though Susan looks to be holding her own... wait... a second? Who is that?

SB: I don't know... but an oriental woman whose clothes are revealing a lot just jumped out of the crowd! She looks familiar... but I don't know. One hot woman looks the same as the others with their clothes on.

BB: Sammy! This woman pulls Susan off Lady Death.... OH MY GOD! Susan is hit in the face with a fireball! She goes down, and she's SCREAMING! Lady Death and this mystery woman escape into the backstage as Powers, Love, Melissa and Gina all rush to Susan!

SB: Look! Black's got Apocalypse, and they disappear into the crowd!

BB: Fans, this is a travesty. Kevin Powers and Eddy Love have advanced to the finals, but they paid a price for it. The medical team are coming down to Susan's aid... let's see, do we have a replay?

(The replay shows, and Susan is seen receiving the full brunt of the fireball in the face/eye region. The replay is slightly blurred, however, and only shows an indistinguishable form from which the fireball emanated.)

SB: It's a shame to see such a thing happen when they're on the brink of the tag team straps.

BB: I agree. The PLR camp aren't the most noble in the world, but this did not have to happen. Fans, the paramedics have removed Susan from the arena area, and I believe... yes, we have a camera backstage, hopefully we'll be able to get an update.

(CUT TO: The backstage. Susan is being loaded up into a ambulance and is getting ready to leave. Powers and Gina are standing nearby...)

KP: Gina. Go with her and make sure she's O.K. I'll be there as soon as I can.

G: Don't worry Kevin I'll make sure everything is O.K. Just go and win the match!

KP: Sure thing babe! (He gives her a kiss) I love you both.

G: We love you too!

(Another cameraman follows into the back of the ambulance. There is a doctor in the back in full surgical gear, and, of course, Gina. The ambulance speeds off.)

(CUT TO: Buckley and Benson.)

SB: She'll be alright. She has to be, Eddy and Powers can't afford to be distracted.

BB: I know. Well, fans, we're coming down the wire on BATTLE of the BELTS XVI: Personal Business. Up next is the Weapons/Ladder Match for the Greensboro Title as the STILL Undefeated Randy Harders defends against former champion, "Hot Stuff" Aaron Douglas.

SB: Douglas just won more than TWO MILLION of Merritt's money, I think he's on top of the world right now.

BB: I think you may be...

(CSWA Co-Commissioner Merritt approaches the table.)

Commissioner Merritt! I thought you were in a meeting.

CM: I am. Hello, Benson.

SB: Sir.

BB: So what's the news? What was the meeting concerning, anyway?  And what's this about Douglas' settlement?

CM: Douglas settlement?

BB:  Yes, the two-point-five million dollar settlement signed earlier today.  We were told you didn't sign off on it.

CM:  I'll kill him!   That's not something I want to talk about over the air. In any case, Buckley, we need you.

BB: Sir, I've got to do my job.

CM: I know and I'm sorry.

(He glances at Benson.)

Believe me, I'm sorry. But we need you and the rest of the Board of Directors so we can take a full vote on something that's been very pressing for me lately. Come on, it won't take more then ten minutes.

BB: Well... alright. Listen, Benson, you'd better do a good job. I don't intend to pay for a FCC fine that you caused.

(Buckley and Merritt hurry out of the arena.)

SB: It's the Sammy Benson Show!

(PLR's Dressing Room)

KP: Man I can't believe that happened to Susan. She has done some things in her time, but she didn't deserve that.

EL: She'll be O.K. Kevin. Gina is with her and nothing is going to go wrong.

KP: Man! Freaking Apocalypse is behind this! I know he is! I swear to GOD if I ever get my hands on him I'll kill him! He has got….

EL: Kevin. You need to get your mind off of Apocalypse and back into the finals! We have come too far to be distracted and that's EXACTLY what Apocalypse is doing to you! You need to snap out of it and get your mind set. I can't do this without you and you know it!

KP: Hey Eddy I'll be O.K. I just hope Susan is O.K.

EL: I'm sure she is. Now let's get ready to take down Lunar Express and win those belts!


"Ladders and Weapons"

"The Hard One" RANDY HARDERS vs. "Hot Stuff" AARON DOUGLAS

RJ: For the following contest, there are no rules. Any form of weapon is in play, and legal to use. The only way to win this contest is to ascend the ladder and retrieve the belt. The man who does this shall be called the CSWA GREENSBORO CHAMPION!

(Cue Up: "Sabotage" - Beastie Boys)

Introducing first, from the Country up North, Canada, is the challenger! Weighing in at 227 pounds... "Hot Stuff" Aaron Douglas!

SB: Well, here he comes. Millions dollars richer. We should start a support group, "People Who Got Money From Merritt."

(Douglas gets to the ring, gesturing around his waist, referring to HIS belt. All of a sudden... CUE UP: "I Don't Want to Change the World" - Ozzy Osbourne, as Hornet heads to ringside, toting the World Title belt in his hand. Some of the Buffalo fans begin to throw garbage. Hornet, undaunted, sits down next to Benson.)

H: What's up, Sammy? You looked lost out here so I decided to lend my experience.

SB: Well... it's good to see you, Hornet. Seeing you take out The Worm almost makes me regret all the "Bugbrain" comments I've made toward you.

H: Almost, huh?


(CUE UP: "Turn the Page" - Metallica)

Coming down the aisle, from Long Island New York... Weighing in at 315 pounds... The CSWA Greensboro Champion.... "The Hard One" RANDY HARDERS!!!!

SB: Here comes the Champ.

H: Watch it, Sammy. The Champ is sitting right next to you. But Harders has earned that strap. Let's see if he can properly defend it.

SB: Too back Mrs. Beyer isn't in his corner... even a little chunky she's still a looker.

H: Harders hands Worthington that Greensboro Belt, and Douglas hits him from behind with a clothesline! He connects with a few right hands, but Harders shoves him backwards!

SB: There's the bell, we might actually HAVE the start of the match now.

H: And we are UNDERWAY! Harders and Douglas circle each other, and a collar and elbow lock up, and Harders JUST SHOVES Douglas INTO THE CORNER! AND HE LETS OUT A BIG HOWL! Douglas shakes it off, and they lock up again, but this time Douglas SHOVES Harders INTO THE CORNER and follows in with a CLOTHESLINE! Douglas WITH A BIG CHOP!

SB: That had to be heard in the rafters! Irish Whip by Douglas, and he catches Harders WITH A CROSS BODY BLOCK! ONE-----TWO----NO! Both men up, and Douglas with a JAPANESE ARMDRAG!

H: Harders charges, but is caught in another JAPANESE ARMDRAG! Harders up....Douglas with a DROPKICK! ANOTHER DROPKICK! ONE MORE DROPKICK sends Harders up and OVER THE TOP ROPE to the OUTSIDE OF THE RING! Douglas runs off the ropes, and FLIES THRU THE SECOND ROPE ONTO Harders! WHAT A MOVE! He grabs Harders and RAMS HIS HEAD INTO THE APRON! He takes Harders' head and rams it AGAINST THE STEEL BARRICADE!!!! Harders climbs in the ring, and he is dazed. Douglas follows suit, and grabs Harders and gives him a THUNDEROUS CHOP! Douglas with an Irish Whip, and catches Harders with a SAVAT KICK on the way back! Douglas climbs up to the top rope, Harders gets up and is met WITH A DROPKICK FROM THE TOP ROPE!

SB: For a man, that won the belt with a hockey stick, he is not looking too sharp!

H: Douglas with a NECKBREAKER! He bounces off the ropes and delivers a LEGDROP! Douglas TOSSES Harders OUT OF THE RING! You have to wonder what will happen now! Douglas DRAPES Harders on the STEEL BARRICADE, and nails A STINGER SPLASH!!!!!!! OHMYGOD!!!!!!! Harders JUST GRABS Douglas and RAMS HIM INTO THE STEEL BARRICADE! NO! Douglas BLOCKED IT!


(crowd starts chanting)

ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN!EIGHT! NINE! TEN! Harders IS BUSTED WIDE OPEN! He has a huge GASH ON HIS HEAD! Douglas rolls him in the ring, and nails a BACKBREAKER! He climbs up top...AND HITS A MOONSAULT!

SB: Harders is up! He sure has ENDURANCE! Douglas sends Harders off the ropes, GOES FOR A SAVAT KICK..NO!

H: OH MY GOD! Harders ducked his head, and he landed right in Douglas' groin area! YEEOWCH!!! He'll be singing SOPRANO TONIGHT!

SB: Sign him up for the CHOIR!

H: Harders grabs Douglas and DELIVERS AN INVERTED ATOMIC DROP! An insult TO THE INJURY! Harders picks up Douglas in a BACK SUPLEX, but drops him on the ROPES, AND Douglas LANDED ON HIS GROIN AGAIN! Harders is A DIRTY PLAYER!

SB: Could be why he's the champion, but look at all that BLOOD!

H: Indeed, but he has taken control of the match. Harders picks up Douglas, and delivers a VERTICAL SUPLEX! Harders with a KNEE DROP! Harders with an Irish Whip, and he catches Douglas in a TILT-A-WHIRL-BACKBREAKER!!!!! NICE MOVE! Harders with a NECKBREAKER! Harders picks up Douglas, and delivers an IRISH WHIP, and catches Douglas with a BOOT to the midsection, followed by a DDT!!!!! Harders with a PILEDRIVER! Harders tries to hook in a BOSTON CRAB......HE GETS IT!!!!!

SB: This may not give him a victory, but it might incapacitate Douglas to the point where Harders can head into the aisle and grab the ladder without Douglas coming after him.

H: Valid point, but it does not matter as Harders lets up! Wait... he cinches in an ABDOMINAL STRETCH!!!! He's going to work on that BACK AREA! Douglas is fighting the hold, but YOU CAN SEE THE PAIN ON HIS FACE! Douglas with a HIP TOSS to break the hold! Douglas runs off the ropes, but Harders CATCHES HIM IN A STUN GUN SUPLEX!!!!!!!

SB: He sends Douglas into the ropes again... Douglas with a clothesline! That came outta nowhere! Harders lands on his back, and Douglas is following him out... what in sam hill is he doing?

H: LAID HIM ACROSS THE TIMEKEEPER'S TABLE! He now jumps on the APRON! He runs across the APRON and goes for a SPLASH......BUT Harders GETS HIS KNEES UP! Douglas falls off Harders ONTO THE CEMENT! Harders rolls off the table onto the cement. Both men up slowly, Douglas CHARGES Harders, but Harders CATCHES HIM WITH A STUN GUN ON THE STEEL BARRICADE!

SB: Douglas can't breathe! He damaged his throat! Oh. He's better now, but HE TURNED SHADES OF BLUE, I'VE NEVER SEEN ON A MAN!


SB: Ohhhh...this is getting sick! Does he think he's Mike Randalls?

H: Don't mention that name around me, Benson... There is BLOOD EVERYWHERE AS Harders KEEPS ON DRIVING THAT SHARP WOODEN LEG of the CHAIR into Douglas'S HEAD! Keep in mind that this match IS A NO DISQUALIFICATION, NO COUNTOUT MATCH! Basically........ANYTHING GOES! Harders is REPEATEDLY ramming Douglas'S HEAD into THE STEEL BARRICADE! Look at both of these men! BOTH FACES COVERED IN BLOOD! BOTH BODIES COVERED IN EACH OTHER'S BLOOD! Douglas is trying to walk back to the DRESSING ROOM AREA, but Harders grabs him by the TIGHTS and lands an ATOMIC DROP! Douglas FLIES OVER THE STEEL BARRICADE into the CROWD!

SB: So tell me, Champ, you think Harders could beat you?

H: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that, fat man.

SB: Douglas is getting up in the crowd... am I the only professional at this table?

H:  Speaking of professional....I have a little work to do.  (Hornet takes off the headset and stands up.)

SB: Um, fans, Hornet has left the commentators' table and is headed for the action.  Harders climbs the barricade into the crowd, and he has hold of Douglas.   He sends Douglas head-first over the barricade to the concrete, and now rolls him inside.  It looks like he's ready to try and put this one away!  What is Hornet doing out there?

BB (Breathing hard): What did I miss?

SB: Everything, Sparky. Harders is trying to put things away...but Hornet's nosing around for some reason.

BB: Harders drops a huge elbow from the second rope on Douglas.  He's got the leg hooked!  ONE...................TWO.........NO!!!!   Hornet PULLED HARDERS OFF OF DOUGLAS!!!   What's going on here?

SB: Uh oh.  I'm getting the strangest feeling that Hornet's been collecting legal fees again.

BB: You know Sammy...I think you may have found some sense during your absence....because that sounds like a winner.  Harders gets pulled outside....he's not sure what's going on.  HORNET WITH A CHAIR TO THE FACE!

SB:  Now he REALLY doesn't know what's going on.   Hornet just put him to bed with that shot.

BB:  This is a travesty!  Hornet rolls Harders inside and yells something to Douglas, who is still recovering from his bump outside the ring!

SB:  This is what happens when you let the challenger set the rules, Buckley.   Harders took the bait, and now he's getting reeled in.

BB:  Douglas lays an arm over Harders.  And he gets.......ONE...........TWO...........THREE.  What a way for Harders to be handed his first CSWA defeat. Aaron Douglas is the two-time Greensboro Champion, thanks to an enormous chairshot assist by the World Champion.  Had I seen that, I might have changed my vote.

SB:  What vote?

BB:  Oh, um, nothing.   Hornet helps Douglas out of the ring as he collects that Greensboro belt one more time.  (pauses)   Fans, I'm being told that Co-Commissioner Stephen Thomas has a special announcement....he's making his way to the ring before our next match to conclude the Unified World Tag Team Tournament!

(Thomas steps into the ring with a microphone)

ST:  Ladies and gentlemen, thanks for coming tonight.  We've got some great action left for you tonight, including a match with that man right there (points down the aisle).  Yep, that's right, the World Champ himself.  Hornet, I don't think you want to miss this one.  

(Hornet turns and laughs, then begins walking bck toward the commentators' table.  He motions to Thomas to go ahead.)

ST:  For a long time, my colleague has been the one to come out and give you some special surprises.  Well tonight, it's my turn.  The CSWA has had literally thousands of wrestlers walk through its doors, including the best in the world.  Tonight, it is my pleasure to welcome back one of those wrestlers to the CSWA.  It is my pleasure to present to you the former United States/National Champion and former ULTRATITLE Final Four participant, the man himself, JULIUS GODREIGN

BB:  Wait just a second!  Thomas has brought out former USN Champ and former CSWA VP Julius Godreign...but what does this have to do with Hornet? The last time we saw Godreign, he went from front office employee back to the ring, throwing his hat in with Troy Windham and the Frat...then he disappeared from the scene.

SB:  Um....why does Godreign have a belt over his shoulder?

BB:  That appears to be the old USN Title.

ST:  Welcome back, Mr. Godreign.

JG:  It's good to be here, Mr. Thomas.  (laughs)

ST:  And now for the interesting part:  It seems to me that you and Hornet over there have a little unsettled business.   Something about a lead pipe to the back of the head from some of your former associates.

JG:  That's old news, Steve.  I'm a lot more interested in the extra twenty pounds he's got strapped around his waist.

ST:  I thought as much.  And that's why...and Hornet, you might want to listen up to this part, at CSWA ANNIVERSARY 1999 in a few weeks, I'm signing you to defend the CSWA World Championship against this man (points to Godreign).

BB: What?! It sounds like we’ve just heard our Main Event signed for ANNIVERSARY! This crowd seems to like it though.

CM: (begins walking down the aisleway, microphone in hand) Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait just a minute. What do you think you’re doing, Steve?

ST: My job, Merritt. Unlike some people I know.

CM: Your job? Signing a meaningless match for the biggest event of the year?

ST: I don’t call a World Title match between two of the top stars in the world meaningless.

CM: (climbs in the ring) Well, if you were signing a World Title match, it might be different. But there’s just one little problem….you can’t do that.

ST: You’re beginning to amuse me, Merritt. Why don’t you tell me just why I can’t do it.

CM: Because Hornet is not the World Champion.

BB: What?!

ST: What?!

H: What?! (climbs in ring) What are you up to this time, Chad?

M: As you’re so fond of saying these days, Hornet…it’s nothing personal. The Board of Directors has seen fit to strip you of the title by a majority vote, due to misconduct.

H: (laughs) To quote my favorite movie: "You’re a stupid man….you’re a stupid little man."

CM: You think so? Let’s see how….

H: No, I don’t think so. You want the belt?

CM: Oh, not me, of course, the Board of Directors. And don’t get any stupid ideas….you can still be suspended you know. Now give me the belt.

H: You really, really want the belt?

JG: I think he really does.

H: Well then (slams the belt against Merritt’s head), there you go. (He drops the title on Merritt’s stomach).

BB: Fans, we’re going to take a quick break….we’ll be back after this special commercial for the CSWA’s upcoming PRIMETIME POOLJAM tour.


#9 Lunar Express vs. #2 Powers of Love

BB:  Fans, we're back....and security has helped Co-Commissioner Merritt out of the ring.  We've been told that we'll have more on the World Title situation a little bit later.  But now it's time to crown some new champions!

RJ: Ladies and gentlemen... the following contest is scheduled for one fall... and it is for... the UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! A quick note, however... since the titles are currently vacant, we MUST have a winner! Therefore... A Disqualification or a Countout WILL BE GROUNDS for the crowning of champions!

(CUE UP: "Love Lifted Me" - Collective Soul)

Introducing first... coming down the aisle with their manager, William H. Bradley III... at a total combined weight of 516 pounds, "Galactic" Grant... "Stellar" Stan... THE LUNAR EXPRESS!!!

BB: These guys have got to be happy. They made it past TJ Knuckles and Dan Douglas... Disco Express... and Razor Meltdown, to get here. Now they'll find out if they've got what it takes to wear those belts.

SB: Either way, they showed me a lot. But Buckley... This is EDDY and KEVIN'S tournament.


(CUE UP: "The Power of Love" - Huey Louis and the News)

Accompanied to the ring by Sweet Melissa... at a total combined weight of 558 pounds... "Hurricane" Eddy Love... "Good God" Kevin Powers... THE POWERS OF LOVE!

BB: Listen to these fans! Love and Powers are two guys you just LOVE to hate.

SB: I just love 'em. They're the best.

BB: Alright, it looks like we're gonna see Powers and Stellar Stan to start things off here tonight. They lock up, and Powers goes around the back with a waistlock! Remember, Powers and Love have, in all seriousness, only wrestled once so far tonight! Lunar Express has got to be a little more fatigued then they are. But maybe it'll even out... after all, how into this match can Powers really be?

SB: My sources have been on this, and they say that the woman who did that to Susan is still in the building. Hey, honey, if you can hear me, go get Sammy a beer?

BB: Your sources.. please! Powers hits Stan with a bridge suplex! 1...........2..........NO! Stellar just did get the shoulder up! A kick to the head...and Kevin tags in Eddy Love!

SB: You better believe Eddy would LOVE to have those tag titles!

BB: Eddy Love, with a short right hand! Love working on the arm with a wrist lock! It'd have to be in Stellar's favor to have an uptempo a great idea by the Powers of Love to slow things down! Eddy Love makes a quick tag to Powers! Kevin with a short-arm clothesline! Stan is in trouble, early..Sammy!

SB: You noticed that, huh?

BB: Powers, body slams Stellar Stan to the mat! He just spit on Galactic Grant!! Galactic comes in, but Senior Ref Ben Worthington is forcing him back to the corner!

SB: Get it there, Eddy!

BB: Love jumps in the ring, both men pick up Stan and sling his throat over the top rope! That's cheating!!

SB: Only if you get caught!

BB: Love stays in the ring, NO TAG was made! Grant is furious at Worthington! Stan is tossed outside! Powers of Love will use any means necessary to get the job done!

SB: Damn straight!

BB: Stan rolls back in the ring, Love follows! Irish whip into the ropes, Love ducks down, leap frog by Stan, and he nails the SUPERKICK! What a move!

SB: Ah... was that legal!

BB: What?.....Stan on his knees crawling over to Galactic doing his best to make the tag! Love gathers himself and tags in Powers! Stellar, lunges forward and smacks the hand of Galactic Grant! Everyone is on their feet! Grant nails Powers, Love comes back in, and he gets hammered!

SB: This is out of control!

BB: Grant dropkick on Powers, dropkick on Love! NO! Love blocks it, and hits a DDT! There's the cover, 1.............2............NO! Grant JUST out following the Love POWERSLAM! Love PULLS Plachard to his feet, and NAILS him with a SERIES of open-hand chops, now he whips Grant into the corner....HERE COMES A VERTICAL SPLASH....NO! Grant MOVES, SPINS Love AROUND, AND HITS A DDT! WHAT A REVERSAL!

SB: I think Love is out cold! If only Grant could get over for the cover! Wait... what am I saying?

BB: Grant struggling, and he finally covers Love, 1..............2................3! NO! EDDY GETS THE SHOULDER UP! Grant regaining his composure, and he gets behind Love, WAISTLOCK SUPLEX, nicely down! Grant HEAVES Love into the corner, and Stellar Stan holds him for a SERIES of shots to the midsection!

SB: This is what makes Stan and Grant such a great team! They have an UNCANNY ability to cut the ring in half! No matter where my loyalties lie, I like these kids!

BB: And against a team like the Powers of Love, you HAVE to be able to do that to be successful! Grant tags in Stan, and Stellar quickly goes to an ABDOMINAL STRETCH! Worthington asking Love if he wants to give it up, but that just isn't happening! Stan grabbing the ropes for extra leverage while Ben isn't looking, and Love screams out in pain!

SB: C'mon, Eddy!

BB: Love trying to get out of the hold....HE DOES, WITH A HIP-TOSS! Love charges, and gets a KNEE TO THE CHEST! Stan sends Love off the ropes, HE HITS THE SPINEBUSTER! That could be it! Stan with a cover, 1.........2..........BROKEN UP BY Powers, and I MEAN, BROKEN UP!

SB: He grabbed Stan by his hair and HEAVED him off!

BB: Stan thought about charging Powers from behind, but realized it wasn't a very good idea! Stan makes the tag back to Grant, and he holds up Love as Galactic climbs to the second rope....DROPPING AN ELBOW ACROSS THE HEAD OF Eddy! Grant with a cover, 1..........2.................FOOT ON THE ROPES, and I think Melissa put it there! Bradley is trying to tell Worthington!

SB: Like I said before....SO WHAT? If the ref didn't see it, let it go....everyone's so damn whiny here!

BB: You should know, being the CSWA expert on the topic. Grant setting up Love....SUPLEX POSITION....HERE COMES STAN....BRAINBUSTER....NO! Powers IN THE RING, AND HE SENDS EVERYONE FLYING!

SB: He just sent THREE men down! Stan, Grant, and his own partner!

BB: Powers being ORDERED back to the corner, and Stan....look at this, he's rolling Grant on top of Love, Worthington turns around, counts, 1..............2...............3! NO! Love KICKS OUT! That little piece of treachery ALMOST paid off! Grant collecting himself, he SLAMS Love down to the canvas, off the ropes with an ELBOWDROP....NO, HE MISSES!

SB: He CAN'T let Love make the tag, or you can FORGET about it!

BB: Love reaching....reaching.....can he, YES! HERE COMES Powers! Stan was gonna attack, but he's backing up now....Powers RUNS HIM OVER! Grant on the back of Powers, and he SNAPMARES him down to the canvas! OH NO! Powers INADVERTANTLY knocked over Ben Worthington when he threw down Grant! Both members of LE are down, and now, Powers is trying to revive the ref!

SB: Obviously, what God gave him in size doesn't match what God gave him in the way of brains....

BB: Stellar back to his feet, he taps Powers on the shoulder, HE HIT THE DDT! Powers is DOWN, and he's OUT! Galactic Grant and Powers are the legal men, and the ref is OUT! Love still on the apron, and he's collecting himself....


BB: Love hits the ring! He's all over Grant! Stan comes in to double team him but Powers grabs his ankle! POWERS IS UP!

SB: Here we go... and Worthington is moving!

BB: Love sets Grant up... Powers sets Stan up.... HURRICANE PILEDRIVER! KISS THE CANVAS! We've got a double pin here!

SB: Get up, Worthington, GET UP!

BB: He sees it... and he gets into position! 1................2.................3! 3! WE'VE GOT NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!


BB: Sweet Melissa slides into the ring with the Unified Tag Team Belts, and the three share a hug! Wait a second... (He holds his finger to his ear) I'm being told that there's been some sort of accident with the ambulance, let's see if we can---

(CUT TO: The video wall. It suddenly lights up, and standing in a dark room, is Apocalypse.)

A: Kevin Powers. Let the Apocalypse be the first to congradulate you on your Tag Team championship win, but at what price did you achieve those belts you so cherish?

KP: (Grabs a mic) What the Hell are you talking about now? You had something to do with Susan getting burned in the eyes didn't you macabre freak! Bring your ass out here right now and tell me face to face that you did or didn't!

A: I would suggest that you keep quiet and listen to the Apocalypse. You will have your time to speak. Tell me how much do you cherish your new belts?

KP: (with a puzzled look on his face) Well we beat the Hell out of you two didn't we? How would Eddy put it? Oh yeah! We LOVE these belts!

A: More than you love your ladyfriends Gina and Susan?


A: Watch the screen 'Good God' and attempt to cope with the events you are about to see.

{CUT TO: The inside of the ambulance where Gina is holding Susan's hand. Susan has a oxygen mask over her face and a IV hooked up into her arm. The female oriental doctor is making a couple of notes while the two are talking.}

G: How are you doing girl?

S: I can't even see! Gina I'm scared! First I'm fighting with Lady Death. Then someone taps me on the shoulder and I turn around to a fireball! What the HELL!

G: It's O.K. I'm here with you. You're safe now.

OD: You must really care for each other.

G: Yes we do. How is she doing doctor?

OD: Well…I'm not one to guess, but she might not be able to see again. She caught a lot in her eyes. I don't know if she'll ever see again, but we won't know until we get to the hospital.

(CUT TO: Powers in the ring)

KP: HEY! That doctor looks familiar….

A(V/O): Keep watching….

(CUT TO: Video wall)

G: Good. Shouldn't we have been at the hospital by now? We have been taking a long time.

OD: Well first we have to make a drop off.

G: A DROP OFF? My friend is damn near blinded and you have to make a drop off? What? Are you UPS or something?

OD: (gives her a disgusted look) Shut up (cleep). He was right about you. You do need to be silenced.


{The 'Doctor' reaches in her jacket and pulls out a hypodermic needle and fills it up with Medrezine.}

OD: Now. All you have to do is stick out your arm and receive this shot. After that you'll be on your merry way.

G: You'll have to give it to me in HELL (bleep)!

{Gina lunges at the doctor and they start to battle it out over the blinded Susan. Susan can hear punches and banshee-like screams and wonders what is going on.}

S: What's going on?

G: I think I found out the one that burned you in the eyes! It was you wasn't it??

OD: You are so quick! Did you figure that out all by yourself or did you feel the fire of passion on my hands?

G: What?

OD: Here. Feel again.

{The doctor slaps Gina right in the face with an open right hand shot. Gina falls back and the doctor attack her unmercfully! The doctor continues to punch her in the face until blood starts to fly from her fist. Eventually she backs off when she realizes that Gina is unconscious.}

OD: (Licking the blood off of her knuckles) Hmm….tasty! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!

{The Doctor then grabs at Gina's arm and inserts the needle into Gina's bloodstream. After she is finished giving her the dosage she pounds on the wall for the driver.}

OD: Stop the truck. She's ready to go.

{The ambulance stops and the doctor rolls out Gina into what is now regonized as a grassy field.}

OD: (Looking at the cameraman) You're getting out here too.

{The cameraman gets out and stands next to the fallen Gina. He is still filming the ambulance.}

S: Where's Gina?

OD: She's gone my dear. You are now all alone with me. (Looks at the camera) Hello Kevin. Remember me? Looks at Gina and then Susan. This is my present to you Kevin with love written in blood. Do you love me Kevin? Do you love Miso? Take care. Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

S: GINA!!! KEVIN!!!!

{Miso closes the door and the ambulance takes off. The cameraman sets down his camera and tries to wake up Gina, but nothing is working.... CUT TO: The ring.}


A: Are you surprised Kevin Powers? Miso lives! And like you did to her she has taken something away from you that you loved. Cherish your new belt for your old cherished items are now the property of the Apocalypse and The UnHoly! At least Susan is……..

{The video wall cuts off and Powers is going frantic.}


(CUT TO: Buckley and Benson once again.)

SB: That wasn't right.

BB: You can say that again. Nevertheless, Eddy Love and Kevin Powers are the new Unified Tag Team Champions... but I have to ask, Sammy... what did it cost them?

SB: A lot. Say what you will about Powers and Love... Powers would rather have Susan and Gina back then have those tag team straps. You know it's true as well, Buckley.

BB (Very solemnly): I know. Let's... just head to the ring...apparently Merritt is coming back out.

SB:  You mean he's conscious?

BB:  Apparently so.  Like I said, let's head to the ring.

(Merritt steps in the ring with the microphone)



CM: Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for what you saw take place in the ring earlier tonight. Obviously my colleagues are a little confused. Anyway, as I announced earlier, the CSWA Board of Directors voted earlier tonight to vacate the title. That, of course, begs the question....who is going to be the next champion.

At last year's ANNIVERSARY celebration event, I paired up two men to fight for the then-vacated title. Others decided to get involved, and we eventually ended up with the thirty-two man tournament, won by Eddy Love. At this year's ANNIVERSARY, in just a few weeks, we WILL have a World Champion extended thirty-two man tournament, no months-long events.

Because at CSWA ANNIVERSARY 1999: Revelations, we will hold the fourth ever IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS. (crowd pop) You long-time fans have seen them: the Unified Championship was created in one, and decided in others. Five men step into the ring to face off against each other....and the man who comes out victorious, is the champ.

We'll be announcing the competitors in the next.....

(Thomas and Godreign begin walking out from the back; Thomas has a mic)

ST: No, I don't think so. These fans and the wrestlers involved deserve to know now. We'll be announcing them in just a minute....after we take care of some other business. Oh, and to make the event even more special..... this time, the IRONMAN will feature SIX competitors.

CM: I know you're on this 'announcement' kick, Steve...but this is neither the time nor the place. (Thomas and Godreign climb through the ropes)

ST: You know, I'm truly tired of your mouth. Julius, if you wouldn't mind, the next time he decides to run off at the mouth, shut him up.

JG: My pleasure, Steve. He's had it coming for a while.

(Merritt looks nonplussed)

ST: (reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper) Thanks to the help of Mr. Godreign and a few other associates, it's my pleasure to inform you Chad....well, there's no easy way to put it: Your services are no longer required. (crowd pops)

CM: What the....... (stops as Godreign knocks him into the corner with a hard right hand....and knocks him out)

ST: Ladies and gentlemen, there's a new sheriff in town....and it's time to clear out some of the trash. Security, make Mr. Merritt comfortable....somewhere outside the building. (crowd pop) Now, fans, what you've really been waiting to hear....the announcement of the men involved in the IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS, one of whom will be your next World Champion.

First, while the end may have been just....the means weren't. The first man involved will be the most recent and most decorated World Champion, HORNET! (crowd boos)

The second man involved will be the gentleman he 'beat' for the title, "Daredevil" MARK VIZZACK!!! (huge crowd pop)

As former World and US Champions themselves field of the top wrestlers in the world could be complete without the newly-crowned Unified Tag Team Champions, EDDY LOVE and KEVIN POWERS! (mixed reaction)

And a man who hasn't always received his due around here....a man who deserves a shot as much as anyone else, DEACON! (huge crowd pop)

And with so many other deserving wrestlers out there, like the new US Champion Steve Radder, Nemesis, my friend Julius Godreign and so many others, we couldn't just pick one more man from the I've decided that a battle royal will be held at an upcoming CSWA event to fill the sixth spot.

Fans, I want to thank you again for your continued support. I think it's safe to say that this IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS will make CSWA ANNIVERSARY 1999 one of the most anticipated events in recent history. We look forward to seeing you there. Now....let's get to the MAIN EVENT!!! (Thomas tosses the mic to Rhubarb Jones, waves to the crowd, and exits with Godreign.)

BB: Wow! I'm not quite sure what happened all happened so fast!

SB: Um.....does this mean that Merritt's been......FIRED?!?! (laughs hysterically)

BB: Well fans, you heard the man, let's send it down to Rhubarb!


"Taking Care of Business" HORNET and POISON IVY

RJ: Ladies and gentlemen... The following contest is a special attraction MIXED TAG TEAM MATCH!

(HUGE POP from the fans)

And... it is scheduled for one fall! I have also been told that there has been a last minute stipulation... that this match will be NO TIME LIMIT! Introducing at this time... the man who will referee this matchup!

BB: The moment of truth. Who is it?

SB: It's Eddy. He's the only unbiased one in the CSWA.

BB: Here he is...

(A man walks out from the curtain. He's pretty tall, and well- muscled, though not to the extent that GUNS was. He is wearing black referee pants, a long sleeved referee's striped shirt, and a mask that covers his entire head. No real crowd reaction.)

SB: I have absolutely no idea who that is.

BB: His body structure seems familiar... I suppose it's enough that he looks to be in good shape... he'll need to be able to handle himself if he's enforcing the rules against these two teams.

(CUE UP: "I Don't Want to Change The World" - Ozzy)

RJ: INTRODUCING FIRST... at a total combined weight of 383 pounds... HORNET... and POISON IVY!

BB: The fans here in Buffalo really don't like these two, do they?

SB: The feeling is mutual. Hornet's waist looks barren.

BB: Fans at home, the arena crowd is filled to the brim with booing people, and a few who are throwing garbage! They don't like Hornet's attitude change OR Ivy's attitude change, to say NOTHING of their recent actions.


(CUE UP: "The Show Must Go On" - Queen. HUGE POP)

BB: Here he comes! The next generation "Greatest American Hero!" Though I think he'd argue that statement!

SB: He's a tremendous athlete, regardless of my disagreements with his choice of manager. She's nice to look at, but like I've said before, so is freshly cut grass. But I think he'd disagree with being called the next GA Hero, simply because he's tried so hard to avoid being labeled as in Hornet's shadow.

BB: And there's been plenty of cause for it through the years. Vizzack was to the regional promotions what Hornet was to the CSWA in terms of appeal, and, in my opinion, Hornet felt his place threatened by Mark, so he took desperate measures.

SB: Look, Hornet's making fun of Cloudy.

BB: You know, it was Sunshine's tiebreaking vote that caused Hornet to be stripped of the World Title. He's got some anger in there. OH MY! Sunshine winds up, and she caught Hornet in the face with a right hook! HORNET BACKHANDED SUNSHINE!

SB: That's a mistake.

BB: VIZZACK with a right hand! AND ANOTHER! "Ring The Bell," says the referee! Remember, ladies and gentlemen, should either man tag out, the other will have to as well!

SB: Oh, let Vizzack get a hold of the Feminazi for just ONE second!

BB: Mark sends Hornet into the ropes... DROPKICK! Hornet back to his feet... CLOTHESLINE! There's a quick cover, 1...........2....NO! Hornet kicks out, and he tags Ivy!

SB: That's their best chance at winnning... keep the Feminazi in there. She's got far more skill then Sunshine does. And she's got a big wooden stick in her hand!

BB: Vizzack talking to Sunshine, all the while, Ivy's winding up with that Singapore Cane! NO! That referee grabbed it and PULLED it out of her hands!

SB: What's he doing with it? He's just holding onto it!

BB: I suppose, if he's got it, nobody in the match will be able to use it! Sunshine and Ivy lock up, and not surprisingly, Ivy sends Sunshine into the corner! A slap to the face! The referee is trying to break it up, but without success!

SB: He's holding a big stick... and he can't separate two women? Come on, cane the feminazi!

BB: I think he heard you, because he uses the cane to separate the women! Ivy starts to yell at him, but he just blows it off!

SB: We can't see his face, how can you tell?

BB: I can read minds.

SB: Hey! I'm supposed to be the funny one!

BB: You never say anything funny.

SB: Like I said... leave the witty remarks to me, Chim Chim.

BB: Ivy and Sunshine lock up again... and this time, Sunshine catches Ivy with a side headlock! She's got it locked in very well, and Ivy is having trouble finding a way out!

SB: She needs to grab the hair.

BB: Considering the referee is just standing there watching, I'd say he wouldn't really care! Ivy sends Sunshine into the ropes... reversal... NO! Sunshine with a dropkick to Ivy's knee! She's done her homework, Sammy!

SB: Now she cinches in a half Boston!

BB: HORNET COMES IN! He kicks Sunshine in the face! She goes down HARD!

SB: What's this? That referee is poking Hornet with the cane! He's biased!

BB: Vizzack in on the other side, and the referee uses the cane to keep HIM out of the action! So much for his being biased, Sammy!

SB: Cloudy's hurt, though.

BB: No doubt about that. Sunshine is a healthy girl, but Hornet has a good one hundred fifty pounds on her, as well as his being MUCH stronger. She's rocked by that one, definitely.

SB: Ivy is up, and she kicks Sushine in the back. And again! Feminazi is doing some hazing tonight!

BB: Sunshine is trying to get up, but Ivy keeps kicking her down! It's rather poetic... Sunshine's struggle to rise up in her life, when things keep kicking her down.

SB: This isn't FISH FUND. Stop talking like a telethon.

BB: Sunshine is to her knees, but Ivy pulls her up the rest of the way, and hits a dragon suplex! 1...........2........NO! Ivy loses her grip. She sends Sunshine into the ropes again, and catches her with an elbow to the face! The cover, 1...............2...............NO! Sunshine kicks out, and she practically DIVES for Vizzack's outstretched hand!

SB: She made it though, and the heavyweights are back in!

BB: Hornet whips Vizzack into the ropes... Vizzack with the leapfrog... HORNET WITH A CLOTHESLINE!

SB: He walked into it! I like this new attitude of Hornet's!

BB: Hornet whips Vizzack off the ropes again and catches him with a BIG BOOT to the face! Hornet now leaps in the air and delivers a BIG LEGDROP! Another cover by Hornet! 1..............2..............NO! Vizzack still manages to kick out! Hornet now picks Mark Vizzack up and tosses him into the corner! Hornet burying his shoulder into the abdomen of Mark Vizzack! He whips Vizzack across the ring hard into the far corner! He charges in... but Vizzack charges out of the corner and nearly decapitates Hornet with a CLOTHESLINE!

SB: I knew Hornet would find SOME way to screw it up! Once a Bugbrain, always a Bugbrain!

BB: Vizzack now picks the now FORMER Champ up and SLAMS him hard to the canvas! Vizzack just drops the knee on the throat of Hornet and is using the ropes for leverage, trying to choke the big man out! The referee calling for the break, and he gets in Vizzack' face! Vizzack wants Hornet, but he could get DQ'd for this!

SB: Why, Buckley? It's about time somebody put referees in their place!

BB: Well, Hornet is back up to his feet and he rolls Vizzack up from behind! The referee leaps down... 1........2...........NO! Vizzack kicked out yet again! Hornet stays on top of him! He's got him set up for a POWERBOMB...NO! Vizzack went over the shoulder, and now he clotheslines Hornet over the top rope!

SB: No DQ? I guess this referee wants them to kill each other.

BB: Vizzack went over the top rope as well, and now both men are on the arena floor! Vizzack hammers away on Hornet with an axhandle to the back! He whips the bigger Hornet HARD into the steel barricade! Vizzack charges at him, but Hornet caught him with a BIG BOOT to the face! Vizzack is staggered! Hornet grabs him by the hair and rams him headfirst into the ringpost! Vizzack is busted open! Wait a second! Vizzack rakes Hornet in the eyes, and now he rams Hornet into the post! And again! And again! Four...Five...Six...Seven...Eight...Nine...TEN TIMES!

SB: Hornet's gotta tag now... he's definitely seeing double.

BB: Vizzack sends Hornet back into the ring, and hooks the leg! 1..............2..............3! NO! Hornet kicked out! Somehow... he kicked out!

SB: I believe Hornet didn't know what he was doing there... but he kicked out!

BB: Vizzack sends Hornet into the ropes... NO! Hornet comes off and catches Vizzack with a dropkick! Vizzack gets back up, to be met with another dropkick! And now he's raking Vizzack's face!

SB: C'mon psychoboy... get in there with the stick again.

BB: The referee tries to break it up but Hornet isn't listening! OH MY GOD! The referee just SHOVED Hornet and Vizzack! They both went down, and the hold is broken! Hornet is up first, but all he does is make the tag to Ivy! Sunshine is in, and she ducks under a clothesline attempt!

SB: What happened? That just happened TOO quick for me!

BB: Sunshine reverses with a belly- to- back suplex, and Ivy reaches for Hornet's tag! SHE MAKES IT! Hornet comes back in, and Vizzack slingshots himself over the tope rope and catches him with a flying clothesline! There's the cover, 1............2............NO! Hornet kicked out!

SB: What do these four have to do to actually beat each other?

BB: Kill each other, maybe? We know that's all that will get Hornet and Vizzack down...

SB: Forget I asked.

BB: Vizzack picks Hornet up and whips him into the corner... VIZZ SPLASH! He hit! Hornet slumps down! Vizzack sets him up again... off the ropes... kick to the midsection! Here we go!

SB: Here comes the Flyer!

BB: Vizzack off the opposite end... he jumps to the top rope and vaults himself backwards.... NO! NO! HORNET DROPPED TO HIS KNEES! VIZZACK LANDS FACE FIRST ON THE MAT!

SB: Flyer.... CRASHED!

BB: Hornet is up... and he grabs Vizzack's legs! He pulls him to the center of the ring... SCORPION DEATHLOCK! He's modified his stance this time, Vizzack won't be able to break it! And he won't be able to reach the ropes! There's nowhere for him to go!

SB: There's the hospital... because he doesn't look like he's tapping!

BB: Yes... the referee doesn't get the CHANCE to ask him if he wants to give, Vizzack screams out "NO!" as loud as he can!

SB: It's over. What can he do?

BB: He's not doing much of anything anymore. He's taken a hellatious beating in this match, and so has Hornet for that matter... but he doesn't look like he's responding. The referee takes a closer look, I think it's over. I think Hornet's won this match.

SB: Bugbrain rides again. But this time, with a better attitude.

BB: Wait a second... The referee's not calling for the bell. He's... unfastening the mask?

SB: Hold on a second...


SB: Here comes Feminazi!

BB: ELI CATCHES POISON IVY WITH THAT CANE AS WELL! HE'S CLEANING HOUSE! Vizzack is up, and he's looking at Eli! Eli just stares at him, and turns around in time to catch a boot to the midsection from Hornet! Hornet sends Eli into the ropes... NO! Eli comes off with another shot with that cane!

SB: Captain Schitzo is back!

(CUE UP: "Another Brick in the Wall" - Pink Floyd)

BB: And he's clearing house in there!

SB: I don't know what's going on anymore... Vizzack and Sunshine are out of there, Ivy and Hornet are out of there... Flair is standing tall!

BB: Listen to these fans! They're singing along with the words! Listen! "Hey! HORNET! Leave us kids alone!" You gotta love the CSWA!

SB: Spare me! Hold on a second, Buckley... what's that?

BB: Fans... there's someone coming from out of the crowd... He's got a chair in hand... BILLY STARR! IT'S BILLY STARR! HE GOES AFTER FLAIR WITH THE CHAIR!

SB: Captain Schitzo Mark II is back!

BB: Flair ducks the chairshot, and Starr ducks the cane shot! HORNET IS COMING BACK! Flair knows better and gets out of there... but he left an impression here tonight!

SB: Look at Ivy... she's got just as many daggers in her eyes for Flair as she does for Billy Starr! Starr and Hornet embrace, as do Starr and Ivy, though she pushes him away!

BB: Listen to this crowd though, Sammy! Fans, we're out of time for BATTLE of the BELTS XVI! In the next few days we'll have information on the status of Susan and Gina, as well as Mark Vizzack and Hornet, and we'll try to unravel some of the stories of Battle of the Belts, like Nemesis and K-9's being brothers and Steve Radder suddenly expecting a child! For Sammy Benson, my name is Bill Buckley, we'll see you next week in ALBANY as we begin the march to CSWA ANNIVERSARY 1999 and the IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS!

(Scene zooms out slowly, showing Starr and Hornet in the ring, and Eli Flair in the aisle. All three are daring the other to come towards them as security comes out... but one sound fills the arena, as the standing fans chant "ELI! ELI! ELI! ELI!")

(Fade to black......)

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