Deja Vu....All Over Again....July 25, 1999
(Merritt is running up the deck of a ship that is
rapidly ascending. He climbs over the railing, clutching it for dear life.)
Thomas: So I see you made it?
Merritt: I guess so.
Thomas: This ship was supposed to be unsinkable.
Merritt: Apparently not. Wait a second...isn't this where we first met?
Thomas: Wrong dream, bucko. We met when you were five.
Merritt: That's not what I meant. Just...these circumstances...the feeling of sinking, the precipice of disaster, seems like we always step right up to it, ever since we started.
Thomas: Sometimes you've gotta live on the edge to get to where you want to be.
Merritt: That's convoluted logic for you. Anyway, it's all my fault.
Thomas: What, did the iceberg come outta...
Merritt: Oh shut up. (Pushes Thomas off the edge of the ship....he hits the large propeller-rudder with a thud and falls into the icy water) It's my fault because I should have been able to stop it. I should have known where it would lead...where it *has* led. (The ship begins to tilt further and further) But I was arrogant enough to think that it wouldn't matter either way. I was wrong. (The ship begins to plunge into the water) I WAS WRONG!!!!! (Merritt goes under with the bow of the large ship)
(Stephen Thomas bolts up in bed, sweat pouring from his face)
Thomas: Falling....I was..... (shakes his head) No...that's all over; that was eons ago. He's gone.... for good.
(Thomas picks up the phone)
It's me. I want you to be at ANNIVERSARY. It doesn't matter, I'll make a spot for you.
(FADE-IN: A shot of the Windham family ranch in
Sweetwater, Texas. Light piano music plays in the background as Rudy Seitzer speaks.)
RS: Sweetwater, Texas... most state maps of Texas dont even bother to show it. However, its a place thats deep in the heart of wrestling fans everywhere.
(CUT TO: A black and white shot of a teenaged Mark Windham. Underneath it, it reads Texas State Athlete of the Year.)
RS: Its a town of heroes...
(CUT TO: A shot of Mark Windham, holding the USN title, a title he held for several years.)
Its a town of legends...
(CUT TO: A shot of Mark Windham bloodied on a map.)
Its a town that spawned Mark Windham.
(CUE UP: Song 2 by Blur. CUT TO: A shot of teenaged kids wearing TROY2K T-Shirts, a crowd at an arena raising the roof, and a shot of Troy with the CSWA World Title.)
RS: Its also a town of enigmas... a town of
controversial figures... a town that spawned Troy Windham.
(CUT TO: A shot of both Windhams together in their younger days.) Say what you will about both men... call Mark Windham a legend... a lost soul... a lunatic... call Troy Windham the future... a loser... a never-will-be degenerate... but just understand that Sweetwater is where they are from... its a place they call home.
(CUT TO: A shot of Troy Windham, sitting on his couch. Hes wearing a Sweetwater High T-Shirt, backwards hat.)
TW: Yeah... Sweetwaters home. A lot of sh.. stuff went down there. You know, I dont really remember much before Mark moved in, I was so little. But once he moved in, it all changed... my dad was messed up, drunk all the time... and Mark would be there to help out. He was more than a cousin... he was like a brother... but, you know, trying to be the Living Legends little cousin was hard for me, so I went out, did my own thing. Mark didnt like the way I was going, but he never tried to stop me... and hes never BEEN able to stop me. No one will. Its Troy2k... and this is MY league, MY world... thats the revelation of tonight. That Troy Windham ISNT the future of the CSWA anymore... he IS the CSWA.
Fight The Future... (FADEIN: A quiet road. A new, blood-red Ford tracker. Inside, strands of "Suffocate Me" by Angelfish are audible. The driver checks his mirrors and pulls over to the right lane. Radio, off. Engine, off.
CUT TO: Outside. The driver of the car is none other then Eli Flair. He's attired in a pair of faded jeans cutoffs, Airwalks, and a T-Shirt reading "Eleventh Heaven" on the front. He looks at his watch. 11:03 AM. Almost time. He starts to walk down the sidewalk, through a gate, into a field of tombstones. Following a well-travelled path, he arrives at his destination. The final resting place of his wife, Alicia.)
ELI: Hey baby.... it's been a while. I know that, and I'm sorry. Things have been a little rough lately. Hell, rough isn't the half of it. But the point is, I'm here now.
(He bends down, touching the stone)
It's not like the old days.... I think I realized that when I went under the knife. I can't operate like some kind of kid anymore. I can't hold onto the past and think it carries any sort of weight. I know what I've done, and I know what we did.... and that'll keep me going through all of it.
(He stops for a second, as if to collect his thoughts)
I'm trying to figure out what you'd want me to do right now, Ali.... Especially now. I feel like I'm at a crossroads in my career, as well as my life. It would be easy to simply bow out of it all. Gods know I've earned it. And there's not one person on the face of the earth who would blame me, especially after everything that's been going on, and everything I've put myself through.
On the other side, it's almost as if I've made it. This IS the first shot at a major World Title I've ever had, tonight. That's the thing that worries me.... I've always been confident in my ability. Confident in my talent to perform and to WRESTLE, but if I win this thing, or even if I don't win and just put on a show, the CSWA will begin to put a little of its weight onto MY shoulders.
I've never told anyone this before, Ali, but back when I first signed, I was relieved that so many world-class athletes were, as well. It meant I didn't have to take the promotion as my responsibility. I could do what I wanted, and not worry about the impact on CSWA television.
I guess.... I guess I'm just afraid that I'll make it to the top and find out I don't belong there.
(A moment of silence.... as it starts to rain.)
VOICE (from behind): You always belonged there.
(Eli spins around, startled by the voice. In its place, he sees his former manager, his former best friend, his sister- in- law, Poison Ivy. She looks like she's been awake for a while.... dark circles under her eyes; her hair, even though it's pulled into a ponytail, looks frayed.... and the state of her clothing, mud-streaked jeans, boots, and "POISON IVY" T-Shirt suggest she's had an adventurous night.)
IVY: Hey. What's up?
ELI: Nothing. How long were you standing there?
IVY: Long enough, Eli. How do the knees feel?
ELI: Not bad, not bad at all. You look like hell.
IVY: I was up all night.... had some things to think over, and I thought about asking Alicia about 'em.
(The rain starts to pick up)
ELI: Well, she's listening today. (Ivy crouches down by the stone) And Ivy, so am I.
(Ivy hesitates for a second, then turns back to Eli, tears nearly welling up in the corners of her eyes)
IVY: Do you know how hard it is to face the rest of my family these days? After what happened in Kansas City.... Lincoln.... Texas.... Florida.... It's like I'm a stranger to them. They didn't understand what was going on with ME.
ELI: I know they didn't. Neither did I. I said some things I probably didn't mean.
IVY: Yeah.... me too.
(They stand there in silence for a few seconds)
ELI: So.... where's that leave us? I mean, it's not like you and I can just forget what happened. You and your boyfriend put me through surgery.... and I guess my theatrics at Battle of the Belts gave a little payback. But I don't know if things can be the same between us.
IVY: I know....
ELI: This might very well be the last time you and I have a peaceful moment together.
(Ivy has returned to the memorial stone and is kneeling down in the mud)
ELI: I'll see you around.
(Eli starts to walk away, until Ivy gets up and spins around)
IVY: Eli! What.... What was she fighting for? What are you fighting for? *laugh* For that matter, what am I fighting for?
(Eli turns around and stares at her)
ELI: If I make it through tonight, I'll tell you.
(Fade, as Ivy returns her attention to the tombstone, and Eli simply walks away.)
The Danger In Dreams...
(The camera fades in on a fire. As it pans out, a body is seen in the fire. The camera continues moving outward, and a body is shown on the funeral pyre, as a crowd stands around the circular amphitheatre. "Jedi" Stephen Thomas and Mark Vizzachero are standing near the back wall.)
Thomas: I think it's obvious that the mysterious opponent in this one was a member of the Sith.
Vizzachero: If the Sith are returning after 1000 years....we know so little about them. Except that we've killed one of them.
Thomas: Yes, but which one? Two there always are...that is the way....a master, and an apprentice.
Vizzachero: But which one did we kill....the master or the apprentice?
(The camera pans away, fading to an overhead shot of the amphitheatre. In the background, a man's laughter is heard.)
Voice: Fools! I will kill them........kill them all!
(The camera shows the back of a man...sitting straight up in bed...having just awakened from a dream.)
Where Angels Fear To Tread....
(FADE-IN: To a close-up of Mark Windham. Hes kneeling in a darkened room, lit only by a spotlight. A white shirt hangs loosely on his body. His hair, slicked back in a pony tail. He seems at peace.)
(CUT-TO: An extreme close-up of Windhams shut eyes)
V/O: The truth. The only constant our world has ever known. Nothing but it, lasts beyond existence. Lives are taken, and bodies vanish in time, but truth, the precious truth survives all.
The truth of the matter is that Mark Windhams parents died when he was just a boy. Too young to fight it, but old enough to understand. To understand that the flames that burned as hot as hell would mold him for the rest of his life. He wasnt allowed to live. The boy had to be man.
The truth is Timmy, Marks younger brother once thought trapped inside the burning burial, ran. Guided by fate, perhaps. God, a God that accepts those who understand that its not having faith, but passing the test when faith is put to the limit, took hold of Timmys hand and led him. Not to greener pastures, but to the next day. Tomorrow in itself is a monument to hope.
Timmys hope always was the future. That he could fight though his past, his current misfortune. He fought, because he always had. Seven years ago he came out of the woods. Acceptance came quickly, why wouldnt it? The night that made both men, could now be put to rest.
The Truth was that not all had been lost. Their struggles were for each other. That they could live a life of two men. Now, fate made sense. Robbed of parents, they beat all laid before them. In a way, ones memory raised the other.
Fate that they were reunited, or that it came to pass they were torn apart. As old as he is, he shouldnt care. But he does. Hes spent most of his life, beating his rival, and then his son. Mickey Benedict played the fool for a time. Waiting, beyond a wall of fire, so hot itd burn everything in its path. Everything but the Truth.
Losing his brother for a second time, drove Mark to insanity. Or as close to it as any man could come. Benedicts work was done. What string was left to be pulled? He made the puppet, and played him perfectly. If only his brother could see it. If only ..
Mark didnt throw it all away. Its be said that anything worth having, must come with a struggle. Fair enough, but what was Windham struggling for? Aimlessly, he wandered. From town to town, making the darkest corner his home. The voices questioned if he was gone. Surely, he was crazy. No man with his mind as an ally, would forget what he had. But Windham simply forgot. Or worse, he no longer cared. First his friends, then family. This wasnt their Mark, it wasnt the man they loved. To bring him back, theyd have to cut ties.
Sacrifice. To attain one goal you yield another. Was it worth it? Trading family for insanity?
As his brother had done all those years ago, Windham wandered the earth. No family, no friends just his thoughts. And God. The same God that took Timmy by the hand, set Mark on a path as well. A search really. A search for himself, for the remnants of the boy that burned in that fire with his parents. And for the Truth.
You can do many things to the Truth. Distort it, deny it, embrace it, but you cant hide from it. Its here, always. Windham had to find it. For it was really the only thing that could quiet his fears.
Two years ago, he was a Lost Soul. Through the lies, and the sin hes set himself free. Hes found the Truth. Along the way, hes found another soul. As Lost as his, once was. Mark Windham can walk through the burning burial without a burn.
Tonight hell right a wrong. Tonight, Mark Windham returns, as Timmy and Mickey fearfully await. The Lost Soul has brought the Truth.
The AWAKENING IS HERE.
(Windhams eyes slowly open)
(TV screen fades in with the ever-present voiceover: "The following event is presented by the CSWA and CS Enterprises...)
V/O: October 24, 1993.....it's "last call" in the CSWA. One event remains, taking the CSWA to an international stage, and professional wrestling to a new high. Six current and former World Champions, representing almost thirty independent federations.
(CUTTO: Joey Melton pinning Steven Flair; Hornet pinning Flic Rair)
The world continued its cry for a single, unified champion. And for once, the stars and planets were all in alignment.
(CUTTO: Hornet pinning Tom Adler; Joey Melton pinning Hot Shot)
In one final, titanic struggle....
(V/O: "He's got him! He's got him! ONE.........TWO.......THREE!!! And the UNIFIED World Heavyweight Champion is HORNET! He's holds Joey Melton down for the three-count! We've got history here folks, history!)
A champion was crowned.
(A bulb flashes, showing a still photo of Hornet with the Unified World Title in hand, as league commissioners like Stephen Thomas and Jeff Tetreault congratulate him.) (fadeout)
And the event of events is born.
July 4, 1995....the youngest champion goes down early.
(CUTTO: Alexandr Karelin german suplexing and bridging Tsunami for the three-count.)
Sammy Benson: Tsunami's reign as Unified World Champion has come to an end!
V/O: The Ironmen are chosen...
(CUTTO: Alexandr Karelin vs. Scott Waters)
BB: Karelin moves behind Waters and hooks the arms just as he did in his last match with Flair! He's got the back slide hooked in with Waters' shoulders to the mat! ONE.......... TWO...........THREE!!!!! Alexandr Karelin wins his third match in a row!
V/O: ...but the price is high.
(CUTTO: Hornet vs. GUNS; snapshots of the photo are shown as the announcer's commentary is heard)
BB: This is the first time these men have met in the ring here in the CSWA.
BB: Both GUNS and Hornet have 40 points. With the added twenty points from a win in this match, one of them would be in a tie with Karelin. And since both men defeated Karelin earlier, whoever wins this match would win the tiebreaker and the Unified Title.
BB: Hornet pulls GUNS away from the ropes and there's yet another belly to back suplex. It looks like it's only a matter of time, Sammy.
BB: You don't have to sound so happy about it! Hornet has this match won until GUNS sent him over the top in desperation!
GUNS grimaces each time he puts any weight on that right knee, but he knows that he's so close to winning the Unified Championship, he doesn't care.
BB: Hornet said that if he couldn't win, he wouldn't let GUNS. But I don't know if he'll have any choice in the matter. If GUNS gets him off that turnbuckle, this match is over! GUNS pulls at Hornet again, but Hornet pulls back, and now we've got two men fighting for their lives! Hornet places his feet on the second rope and pulls! GUNS just WENT TO THE OUTSIDE FROM THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!!! He is hurt! Referee Ben Worthington is calling for the bell!!!! Rhubarb?
RJ: Referee Ben Worthington has awarded the match to GUNS via disqualification of Hornet for throwing his opponent over the top rope. That means GUNS finishes with a 3-2 record, but only 55 points! ALEXANDR KARELIN IS YOUR NEW UNIFIED WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!
V/O: January 21, 1997....the Wolf is loosed.
(CUTTO: Mike Randalls vs. Julius Godreign; Hornet pinning GUNS)
BB: And it all comes down to the two former Unified Champions. Mike Randalls and Hornet, with the gold on the line.
BB: Mike Randalls has done it! Mike Randalls wins the IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS and becomes the two-time, two-time Unified World Champion!
V/O: July 25, 1999....
For the Fourth Time....
(CUTTO: Hornet hoisting the CSWA World Championship above his head for the beginning of his fourth title reign; Poison Ivy at his side.)
Hornet: But what's really hard to believe is the fact that after proving myself for the last eleven years to the idiots called adminstration around here, that in one fell swoop by Merritt, a Cuban refugee and a pathetic, suicidal Board of Directors members on more drugs than I've had championships, the CSWA decided to strip me of the World Title AGAIN.
The Show Is About To Begin...
(CUTTO: Sweet Melissa strapping the CSWA World Title around Eddy Love's waist after winning the 32-man tournament for the championship.)
Love: So at Anniversary 1999, the Eddy Love Show.... I promise this to you supporting stars..... I'll do my best not to bore you.... I'll fight it fair and square..... but most of all guys I'm gonna show ya that maybe 8 years ago who had pie was what made the fans care..... BUT IN '99 ALL THEY GET TO SEE IS HURRICANE EDDY GO HOME WITH THE TEDDY BEAR!
The Power Is On...
(CUTTO: Kevin Powers stands up from his figure four leglock on a prone Eliminator, and has his hand raised by Carl Young, who then hands him the United States Championship.)
Powers: Well you're right, but we're gonna finish it under my rules.....and you should know that there is only one rule I live by.... To win you must survive......and I will be the survivor.....I have to be.....
The Crowd Is Cheering...
(CUTTO: An exhausted Mark Vizzack holding the CSWA World Title in one hand, and Sunshine's hand in the other.)
Vizzack: But I've got some unfinished business. I was interrupted a few months ago, in the middle of trying to bring some DIGNITY to the CSWA World Title. And I can hear Hornet now... how two months with no victories, only no decisions as the CSWA World Champion is hardly dignity... but as I said, Hornet... you were the reason for that.
And All We Ask...
(CUTTO: Poison Ivy helping Eli to his feet and putting the US Championship in his hands at ELVIS LIVES XI.)
Flair: Not Eddy Love and Mark Vizzack.... Not GUNS and Troy Windham.... Not Hornet and Mike Randalls.... They know what Eli Flair and Kevin Powers are capable of.
And in the IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS.... It won't be the Eddy Love show.... Hornet will not ride high for the fifth time.... Faith will not be the Evidence.... and the Daredevil will not fly again.
...Is That You Believe.
(CUTTO: SHOWTIME in Atlanta; Deacon and Sunshine run in, and Deacon plants both Love and Hornet with the chokeslam before helping Vizzack back in the ring)
Shepherd: ANNIVERSARY will show 5 men entering for the prize of earthly gold so they can go down in history and 1 man entering to prove that Faith is not a thing of History. From the beginning, that has been our goal. To prove that God is not dead. To prove that through Jesus Christ, the impossibilities become possibilities. To prove that ... Faith Is The Evidence!
BB: Wrestling fans! Welcome to the world-famous Merritt Auditorium, where this capacity Greensboro, North Carolina crowd is on its feet and ready for the premiere event in professional wrestling today! I'm joined by my ever-present co-host Sammy Benson!
SB: D....Darn straight. All I wanna know is....why isn't there a gold plated statue of me out in the HALL of FAME exhibit outside?
BB: If you don't know...I'm not gonna tell you. Unless you've been living under a rock, you know that this is CSWA ANNIVERSARY 1999: Revelation. And among the many questions to be answered tonight.....we're finally going to find out what this Windham "Awakening" business is all about.....as well as crown a new CSWA World Heavyweight Champion!
SB: The title was vacated back in May, when the CSWA Board of Directors stripped the new champion, Hornet, for 'conduct unbecoming a champion.' As much as I'd love to agree.....it's just another load of bull...
BB: Sammy! Fans, here in the CSWA you've seen the World Title decided by tournaments of 32, 64, or even 128 men. You've seen the title on the line in a four-way tag match, in an electrified steel cage, in the WHEEL of DEATH. But there's no event more special than the one we're about to kick off in just a few minutes. In the history of the CSWA, we've seen it happen three times....the top champions in the sport come together for one night in a round-robin tournament to find out who deserves the twenty pounds of gold around his waist. Tonight, the IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS pits the top six wrestlers in the world together once again. You all know who they are...and you know that any one of them could come out on top.
SB: There's only one man coming out on top tonight, Buckley. Eddy Love's coming to the fair...and he's going home with....
BB: Before Sammy goes any further folks, we're going to head down for a special interview to kick things off.
[The camera cuts away to a dark room somewhere in the bowels of the Merritt Auditorium. In the corner of the room, seated by a bunch of boxes, is Jesse Soloman. He is wearing his long black coat and and shades. He appears deep in thought, and looks up as the cameraman approaches]
Jesse: Well, I promised that I was going to raise some hell, didn't I? I'm sure as heck not here to sell candy corn and pop! I was going through tonight in my mind and I decided that there's only one person here that deserves the full fury of Jesse Soloman's wrath. You see, back at the Ironman Battle Royal, Jesse Soloman had just cleared the ring of all the pieces of trash and it was just me and one man. That man and I proceeded to fight and, through some stupid twist of fate, he won and I lost. That man got to enter this tournament and I was forced to just sit back and watch! Well, that man is Eli Flair and I'm not going to sit back and watch him!
Tonight, Eli, you are going down! You cost me a shot at the World Title, so I'm going to cost you your shot! Things have been getting ready to explode between us for quite some time, Flair, and tonight the volcano erupts and you WILL feel the wrath of the young buck!
See you, Eli! So let it be written...So let it be done!
[The picture fades to black}
SB: Who let that psychopath in the building? I don't think tonight, of all nights, is the time you wanna mess with Eli Flair.
BB: As most of you fans know, Soloman was referring to the special battle royal held just over six weeks ago to find out who the sixth man competing in the IOC would be. And the winner...Eli Flair, former CSWA US and Presidential Champion....who joined the ranks of former and future champions Hornet, Eddy Love, Mark Vizzack, Kevin Powers, and Deacon.
SB: Speaking of the Freakin' Deacon, isn't his buddy still in jail?
BB: You just don't keep up, do you?
SB: Not unless it involves my pal Eddy, no.
BB: Every one of tonight's competitors brings elements of triumph and tragedy to tonight's IRONMAN. Four-time CSWA World Champion Hornet.... a man who has been on top of the world, and buried under a pile of rubble. Former World Champion Mark Vizzack, suffering from a severe shoulder separation. Unified Tag Champions Eddy Love and Kevin Powers, on the verge of separation as Love focuses on individual glory and Powers on individual pain. And the Deacon, recovering from the strange events of the last few weeks in which his best friend was accused of murder, and his long-lost sister was found.
SB: That was a mouthful.
BB: You said it. Fans, we're going to take a look at a special video package showing you just how we got here!
Revelation: From The Heart Of Hell....
(While CSWA PPV viewers watch the video package...one man sits back in the luxury box, and remembers...)
BUCKLEY: Fans, this is Bill Buckley with a special CSWA UPDATE here on U-62. We wanted to update you on the fire that has begun raging at FISH FUND Park Arena. We've been told that the entire audience has escaped unharmed, although word is there still may be some CSWA employees inside. Firefighters have not yet gone in to try and put the fire out...hoping it remains contained to the lower levels and will burn itself out..... (Buckley stops as a shrill yell interrupts him)
MELTON: You bastard! You won't even try to help your own brother.
WINDHAM: I told you....he's....
HORNET: I don't care! I never thought I'd see the day when Mark Windham became a coward.
(Hornet takes off running toward the stage door.)
MELTON: If either of them get hurt, it's your fault...do you hear me!?
BUCKLEY: Fans, apparently Timmy Windham is still inside. Hornet has just made his way toward the Arena to look for the youngest of the Windhams........
(Buckley's voice is drowned out as a large explosion rocks the nearby parking lot like an earthquake. Flames jet out of part of the Arena's roof, while chunks of rock are hurled straight into the air. The camera rocks, then steadies, as we see the stage door explode outward, carrying Hornet with it. Hornet is thrown outward like a ragdoll against the pavement, as the stage door crashes on top of him.)
MELTON: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! TIMMY!!!!! TIMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Fire engine sirens begin to wail as debris continues to fall just short of the caution barrier erected in the parking lot.)
BUCKLEY: Oh my Lord....sweet mother of all that's good and pure. Somebody get some help. Please...somebody get some help! (Buckley drops the microphone and rushes toward the scene.)
(The camera centers on a still Hornet, buried beneath the bent and twisted stage door and the rest of he rubble. Near the camera, just beneath the sounds of sirens, Teri Melton can be heard sobbing. The camera shifts as the cameraman sets it on the ground. We can see his feet as he too runs towards the scene, where a crowd of paramedics, firefighters, wrestlers and other CSWA employees can be seen trying to move rubble off of Hornet.)
(Earlier at FISH FUND XII, and not on camera)
(As Red begins counting, the upper door bursts open against him, sending the remote control flying out of his hand....and into the boiler. Sammy Benson steps into the room.)
Benson: (to Merritt) You!
Merritt: (to Benson) You!
Benson: (to Red) YOU!
Red: (to Benson) YOU....IDIOT!!!
Benson: You're dead!
Merritt: Sammy...always quick on the uptake. Let me guess, Red...now we're in....
(The door to the boiler explodes, shooting a jet of flame. The flames catch a stack of wooden crates, which quickly begin going up in smoke.)
Red: You idiot...now the whole place is going to burn down!
Merritt: Sorry Lyle...guess your Hobson's choice didn't work...
Red: If I'm going, then you're going with me! (Red launches himself down the stairs toward Merritt)
Benson: This is ridiculous, I'm getting out of here. Screw you both. (The door closes behind Sammy with an audible 'click,' locking from the outside)
(Merritt sidesteps Red, who goes head first into a nearby metal barrel. Merritt starts for the steps, but is quickly stopped when Red smacks him over the head with a two-by-four. After a couple more hits for good measure, Red starts up the stairs. The boiler sends out another jet of fire as the flames continue to consume everything in their path. The pile of crates nearest the lower door collapses, blocking that exit. At the same time, Red finds out the upper door is locked. He grabs a nearby crowbar and begins trying to pry the locked door loose. As he does so, Merritt begins to stir, picks up the two-by-four and starts quietly up the stairs. Red hammers on the door with the crowbar with no effect. He turns at the sound of Merritt approaching....and gets clobbered with the two-by-four. The force of the blow sends Red over the low railing....and down into a stack of crates just below the catwalk. The stack crashes...and Red is left in the middle of the debris, blood seeping from a wound in his side. Merritt, bloodied from a gash in his head and lip, picks up the crowbar...just as the boiler shoots another arcing jet of flame.)
Merritt: You're not taking me with you, you sorry peabrained bag of filth. (He begins banging on the door with the crowbar) Do you hear me?! You're not taking me with you!!!!!
(Below in the boiler room; Chad Merritt is hammering at the door. His tuxedo shirt is spotted with blood, which still streams down his forehead and lip. Flames cover nearly the entire room...and are now at the bottom of the catwalk.)
Merritt: I won't (hammers on the door)....lose....(hammers)...to a (hammers)....MIDGET!
(Merritt stops, caught by a coughing fit caused by the thick black smoke. He reaches into his pocket for a handkerchief to put over his face...and something else falls on the catwalk.)
Merritt: (He reaches down and picks up his CSWA FISH FUND American Express) Never leave home without it. (He begins fumbling at the lock with the credit card...and suddenly it clicks!) (Merritt laughs) So long, sucker! Parting is such sweet....aw forget it.
(Merritt exits the room, and the boiler explodes, filling the room and attached hallways with flame)
(FISH FUND PARK Arena, August 11, 1998, the morning after FISH FUND XII, and the explosion.)
Worker: We've found something...I think someone's here. (The man begins shifting the rubble. He finally uncovers a piece of wall.) I need help here....we've got to get this wall up...I think someone's under there.
(CSWA Co-Commissioner Thomas runs up)
Thomas: Is it Windham? Is he alive?
Worker: I'm not sure...we've got to get this wall up. (Other workers begin to lever the wall up...after a few moments of straining, the wall gives way)
Thomas: Well I'll be......
Worker: Is it a kid? Wait....no, it's a....
Thomas: A midget....one that used to work for me. Is he...?
(The emergency worker climbs into the depression and checks the body for life signs.)
Worker: I'm sorry, sir....he's gone. If only we had found him earlier. I'll get the EMTs to bag him. (He walks away)
(Thomas climbs down into the depression and kneels beside the small body covered in soot, grime, and blood.)
Thomas: Ally ally oxen free. Time for all little midgets to come home. (He injects a syringe into the right forearm of the small man.)
(The Red Midget convulses once as his oxygen-deprived body begins to resume a normal intake of air, and his drug-induced coma resolves into simple unconsciousness as his heart begins to pump at a normal rate.)
Thomas: You're not off the hook that easily, Lyle. You still have to help me finish what we've started.
(FADEIN: Somewhere in Texas, deep below ground, months ago. A figure in shadow flips a switch, causing a blue light to turn on. The light illuminates a small cavern in the wall....a window cut inside the rock. A small figure lies encased in a coffin-like structure, surrounded by bedrock. As the light comes on, one eye of the tiny body opens, then both. The man known as Lyle Tallman, but more commonly referred to as the Red Midget...awakes. With a little help.....)
(The lights in the cavern rise, revealing Stephen Thomas at the controls. Lyle's eyes widen, but the entombed figure doesn't yet have the strength to speak.)
Thomas: It's time, Lyle. The doctor's say it's safe to return you to the outside now...the hyperbaric chamber has done it's job. In fact, you might be better than you were before.
(Thomas steps up the catwalk and presses a large button next to the coffin-like structure. A green light turns red as the inner chamber pressurizes. After a few moments, the light turns amber, and Thomas pulls open the outer door. The Red Midget steps out, still shaking off the effects of his months-long recovery.)
Red: I can't believe it's finally over.
Thomas: Over, Lyle? Not by a long shot. You know what I want. You didn't finish him off.....
Red: Oh, but I did. (He reaches into his "Mighty Morphin Midget" costume and pulls out a manila folder.) It's all right there....enough to blackmail Merritt for a hundred lifetimes. All his accounts, all his money, and all the access you'd ever need.
Thomas: You know, I could almost kiss you.....if you weren't a midget. I think it's time you resumed your high position in life, Lyle....and that I took control of what's rightfully mine.
Red: And Merritt?
Thomas: Without power, Merritt's nothing. He'll run like a ship in a storm.
BB: Fans, we're back, and it's time to kick off the IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS! Against my better judgment, Sammy Benson is going to run down the rules!
SB: Thanks for the vote of confidence, Buckley. It's really pretty simple....six men, each man will wrestle four matches tonight. The order of the matches is random, determined by a drawing made by Commissioner Thomas before each match. The way you win....simply come out with the most points at the end of the night. If a wrestler wins a match by pinfall or submission, he gets 20 points. A win by count-out or disqualification is worth 10 points for the victor, while a draw gets both men five points. Matches are limited to a 30-minute time limit and one fall.
BB: I'm very impressed...you've been practicing. And if there's a tie?
SB: If there's a tie in points at the end of the night, the winner of the head-to-head matchup would be the World Champion. In other words, if Buckley and I were in the tournament and ended up with 50 points each, then the winner of our match earlier in the night would break the tie....in which case, I would win, because I could take Buckley with one hand tied behind my back.
BB: Uh....sure. And folks, since this isn't a true round-robin tournament...if two men tie that have not faced each other earlier in the night....then they'll wrestle a tiebreaker match with no time-limit to determine the World Champion. We'll update you on the point standings after each match as we go through the night! We've been told that Commissioner Thomas has drawn the first two names. Let's head down to Rhubarb for the introductions!
RJ: This contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is our FIRST IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS Tournament Match! As you know, the man with the most points will be the CSWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!
(HUGE fan pop)
Introducing first... (CUE UP: "All Star" - Smashmouth)
Weighing in at 267 pounds, a native son of Greensboro, North Carolina... Former FOUR TIME CSWA World Heavyweight Champion, and THREE TIME Unified Heavyweight Champion... This... Is... HORNET!
BB: Listen to the mixed reaction from this crowd. You'd think Hornet would have more of a following in Greensboro than anywhere else.
SB: I think he does.
BB: Alright, now we see who Hornet's first opponent is. There's so much talent in this Ironman, Sammy, you have to think it's anyone's title at this point.
SB: I agree, but if Bugbrain wins it, I might have to quit.
RJ: AND HIS OPPONENT...
BB: Here we go.
RJ: Weighing in at 337 pounds...
(CUE UP: Gregorian Chant. HUGE pop.)
RJ: Accompanied to the ring by Shepherd... THIS... IS... DEACON!
IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS
BB: There go the lights, and Deacon's entrance is much like he himself, larger than life! Look at Hornet, Sammy! He's not happy about this!
SB: I know, Buckley! You know that if there was anyone that Hornet would prefer to not be facing in this thing, it's Deacon! And now he gets the seven footer off the bat!
BB: Like it or not, and he obviously does NOT... Hornet and Deacon are about ready to lock up. There's the bell, and the IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS is underway!
SB: Bugbrain is circling... and the Mute Freak is simply moving enough to keep an eye on him! This had better be more of a match then two guys looking at each other, my time is very valubule.
BB: Hornet locks up with Deacon, and the big man sends him into the ropes! I have NEVER seen Hornet tossed like that! Not even against Mike Randalls or GUNS.
SB: They didn't have the evidence.
BB: Yeah, you've got it. Hornet tries again, and this time, he's flung into the corner! Hornet is not a small man by any means, but Deacon is simply TOO powerful!
SB: BOOOOO- RING!
BB: Stop it, Sammy. Hornet circles... and goes behind Deacon! Waistlock, and...... HE TAKES DEACON DOWN! Textbook waistlock applied, and Deacon is looking for a way out! He counters with a waistlock of his own, but Hornet gets right back on it!
SB: Bad move by Deacon to try and mat wrestle with Hornet. Not many know how to do it like him.
BB: Deacon goes for the ropes, and Patrick Young calls for the break. Both men to their feet, and they lock up again! Hornet with a knee to the gut! And another! He sends Deacon into the ropes... NO! Shoulderblock... and HORNET goes down!
SB: This is bad. Very, very bad. Hornet is up, will he try it again?
BB: Apparently so, Sammy! Hornet with a boot to the knee, and Deacon is rocked! Another boot to the knee, and he's sent back again! Hornet off the ropes... CLOTHESLINE! Deacon to the outside!
SB: A DQ could ruin BOTH these men's chances to win this thing... where is it?
BB: Young apparently rules incidental contact, so the match continues. Hornet follows Deacon to the outside, and sends him into the ringpost! Patrick Young is telling Hornet to get back into the ring!
SB: He's ruining the fun!
BB: NO! Deacon reverses Hornet's whip, and Hornet hits the guardrail! Back first!
SB: So? He's got that surgically-altered back.
BB: That's right... I didn't remember. But he hit pretty hard, and it WAS enough to wind him. Deacon picks him up and sends him back in. Cover... 1......2..........NO! Hornet kicks out and with authority!
SB: That was the first two count of the match. And every one is more important since every one could be the last.
BB: What insightful commentary.
SB: Can it, shrimpy.
BB: Deacon picks Hornet up... Powerbomb! The cover, 1.....2......NO! Hornet's not done yet.
SB: This match could probably be a main event anywhere in the world... and it's OPENING the night here! Look, it's my sweet sugarpie!
(Fans begin to boo...)
BB: What is Silky Rose doing here?
SB: Giving us an eyeful!
BB: Fans, it would appear Silky Rose has emerged from the backstage to the aisle right in front of the curtain. She's been a prelude to Unholy interference quite often. Deacon sends Hornet into the ropes... POWERSLAM! A scoop... NO! Hornet rakes the eyes, and Deacon is forced to drop him.
SB: That might have evened everything up. Deacon can't attack if he can't see.
BB: Deacon takes a wild swing! That can't be good. Hornet takes a step back... and... he's LAUGHING at Deacon?
SB: Bugbrain shouldn't underestimate the Mute Freak.
BB: That summed up your complete feelings about this match, didn't it?
SB: Yeah... I have say it does.
BB: Hornet slowly tips up behind Deacon, and catches him with a belly- to- back suplex! The cover, 1......2......NO! Deacon with the kickout, and he knows where Hornet is now!
SB: Bugbrain ain't stupid, Buckley.
BB: HORNET WITH ANOTHER EYE RAKE! He appears to have found a way to beat Deacon - keep him blinded. Hornet is just toying with him now. You can tell he feels confident he can end it whenever he wants to.
SB: He might well be able to, Buckley.
BB: Hornet behind Deacon... DROPKICK! Deacon falls into the corner! Did he hit his head on the ringpost?
SB: I think he did, Buckley! Bugbrain could get him now! It might be his only chance!
BB: Hornet lining him up... HORNET SPLASH! NO! Deacon moved at the last minute and Hornet tasted turnbuckle pad! Deacon sets him up... climbs the bottom rope... ALTAR CALL! There's the cover, ONE..............TWO.....................THREE! Deacon gets the pinfall, and moves ahead 1-0 in the IRONMAN, with twenty points!
SB: Where'd Rose go?
BB: Fans, Silky Rose has left the ringside area... but that means nothing. The Unholy could come from the rafters, the crowd, under the ring... Deacon and Hornet are still marked as long as they're in the arena. And here they come!!! It looks like Randy Harders and Pat Black are on their way down....I just don't know if they're gunning for Hornet or Deacon or both! Wait a second...what is that!
(A masked man dressed in black begins to descend from the rafters. The spotlight catches him, but neither the men in the ring or those coming to ringside see him. He lands just behind Harders and Black, as they continue to stalk their prey.)
BB: That masked man just leveled Randy Harders and Pat Black with some sort of object....I think it's a crowbar. Black goes down hard, but Harders blocks the first blow. The masked man catches Harders with a boot to the gut, and then brings that crowbar down on the back of his head. What is going on here?
SB: That's all we need, another vigilante.
BB: The masked man tips a non-existent hat to Hornet in the ring and Deacon on the outside. I don't know what just happened here....but it bodes well for the two men who just wrestled...they each have three more matches tonight, and certainly didn't need to expend energy fighting off Black and Harders!
SB: But let's get back to the important thing here, Buckley...Hornet has ZERO points.
BB: And you're thrilled about it, aren't you? Deacon takes the early lead with 20 points. Let's head to Rhubarb to find out whether one of these men has to come right back down to the ring.RJ: This contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first... accompanied to the ring by his manager, Sunshine Del Payne...
(CUE UP: "The Show Must Go On" - Queen. HUGE pop from the crowd.)
From Baltimore, Maryland... weighing in at 228 pounds... "Daredevil" Mark Vizzack!
SB: The worm is getting a good pop, but that's only because Eddy isn't here.
BB: Eddy could be Vizzack's opponent. You never know until the music starts. Mark's shoulder isn't taped or supported, but you can bet it's not a hundred percent.
SB: Speaking of a hundred percent... check out Cloudy! She's working them combat boots!
BB: Sammy! Well... you ARE right. Who's Vizzack's opponent going to be?
RJ: AND HIS OPPONENT...
SB: EDDY! EDDY! EDDY!
RJ: Weighing in at 302 pounds...
BB: You know who THAT is...
(CUE UP: "Another Brick in the Wall" - Pink Floyd)
RJ: From Bronx, New York... "Total Elimination" Eli Flair!!!
SB: Captain Schitzo! At least he can break the Worm in two.
IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS
BB: You don't know that, they've never exactly wrestled before. But they've been near the top of several voting lists for SHOWTIME cards. These two fan favorites are about to get into it like SO MANY have wanted them to.
SB: And Captain Schitzo is gonna spill Vizzack's blood!
BB: Flair coming to ringside alone... That's a sight I'm still not used to. Who would have ever thought that Eli Flair and Poison Ivy would be on opposite sides of the fence?
SB: Anyone with half a brain and no tolerance for the feminazi?
BB: Stop it, Sammy. Both men in the center of the ring, and Ben Worthington gives them last minute instructions. The two shake hands... NO! Flair with a clothesline! Vizzack ducks! He hits a flying head scissors! NO! Flair rolls with it! Both men to their feet, and we've got a Mexican Standoff!
SB: What about Juarez?
BB: Sammy! The Greensboro crowd is giving a standing ovation to these two men, as they circle! Vizzack offers his hand again, and Flair takes it. No tricks there, just a show of sportsmanship.
SB: I might barf.
BB: They lock up, and not surprisingly, Flair sends Vizzack into the corner! Worthington calls for the break... and we've got a clean break? That's something we don't see every day. They lock up again... and Flair sends Vizzack into the ropes! Worthington calls for the break, but Flair isn't letting go!
SB: Captain Schitzo!
BB: Worthington gets between them, and Flair starts to argue! I believe he just told him to take a step back and let him work! But his eyes are off Vizzack... Flair turns around... MOONSAULT FROM THE SECOND ROPE! The cover, 1..........2..............NO! Flair manages to kick out, but he's angry, Sammy!
SB: The Worm took a cheap shot! But he has NO brain whatsoever... why waste your time with a cover so early on!
BB: Flair back to his feet, but so is Vizzack! Flair manages to keep the advantage with a forearm, and he sends Vizzack off the ropes... FLYING CLOTHESLINE... NO! Vizzack drops down to the canvas, and Flair goes through the ropes, smacking down HARD on the concrete floor! Vizzack wastes no time, he's through the ropes to the outside! He grabs the head of Flair... SLAMS IT INTO THE APRON! Goes for it again... NO! Flair blocks with a fist to the midsection... and he sends MARK INTO THE RINGSIDE STEPS! Vizzack literally went THROUGH the steps, scattering them everywhere!
SB: This isn't good... His shoulder's gotta be hurting! Flair is manhandling him!
BB: Flair rolls Vizzack into the ring, and he's heading up to the top rope... that's not his territory, this might be a mistake! Vizzack staggering back to his feet... Flair OFF THE TOP WITH A FLYING BODYPRESS... AND MARK ROLLS THROUGH! 1.............2...........ALMOST A THREE COUNT! Vizzack up to his feet, and he hits a LARIAT out of nowhere! Flair drops down the canvas, and the tables have been turned!
SB: YEAH! C'MON!
BB: Look at Flair strength! He turns BOTH wrists of Vizzack, and he's screaming out in pain! Flair gets back to his feet, and he's turned this a test of strength like manuever! Vizzack gets his foot on the ropes, and Flair has to break the hold! Flair has the advantage back, pummeling Vizzack with shots to the back! Flair lifts Vizzack up... BIG VERTICAL SUPLEX... Flair holding him up there for a long time... AND HE DROPS MARK DOWN TO THE CANVAS! A cover by Flair, ONE, TWO, Vizzack kicks out!
SB: Oh, you've got to do a TON more than that to pin Mark Vizzack. Otherwise known as That Worm!
BB: Um, yeah... whatever! Flair dragging Vizzack into the center of the ring... AND HE LOCKS IN A FULL-NELSON! He's trying to use his strength to it's fullest advantage, and this isn't good for Vizzack! Ben Worthington asks Vizzack if he wants to give it up, but that doesn't have a shot in hell of happening... now, Flair twisting back and forth, trying to increase the affects of this manuever... finally, Vizzack drops to the canvas with a CHINBREAKER!
SB: Smart move! That caught Flair right under the chin, and he broke the hold!
BB: Flair holding his chin in obvious discomfort, but Vizzack is still hurting from the full nelson! He's trying to gather himself on the canvas, and Flair locks in a REVERSE CHINLOCK, trying to futher drain the strength of the former Champion! In fact, it looks like Vizzack may be going out here! Ben Worthington checks the arm... IT DROPS ONCE, DROPS TWICE... THREE TIMES... NO! Flair brings Vizzack back to his feet, and he's out...
SB: This isn't good... he can't stand up without assistance....there's just something that's not good about that!
BB: How do you figure?
SB: Shove it.
BB: Flair picks up Vizzack....SHOULDERBREAKER! That looks like it did something! A cover, 1...........2...........3! NO! Somehow, Vizzack had the prescence of mind to get his foot on the ropes! Flair pulls Vizzack back up, and sends him into the corner... CHARGES IN WITH A CLOTHESLINE... NO! MARK PUTS UP THE BOOTS!
SB: Now, here's your chance! Piledrive him into the concrete!
BB: Sammy, will you stop!
SB: You think Flair ain't thinking about it? Give as good as ya get, Kid!
BB: Flair staggering back, and Vizzack climbs up to the second rope... BULLDOGS Flair down to the canvas! That might be it! I don't know if he can kick out
from that! Vizzack not going for the cover, though, he DROPS an ELBOW... off the ropes....AND DROPS ANOTHER! Now, he goes for the cover, 1........2........ KICKOUT BY Flair! Vizzack is really surprised that Flair kicked out, and heaves him to the outside...
SB: Grab a monitor and drive it through his skull!
BB: Geez... Vizzack grabs Flair... and SENDS him into the steel post! Now, he shoves him down against the ring railings, and Vizzack's got a chair! Flair better move, or he's gonna be in a WORLD of hurt....
SB: HE DIDN'T! Vizzack cracked him right in the head with the chair! Atta boy, Worm!
BB: Flair slumps against the ringside barriers, and Vizzack rolls back into the ring to break the count! Vizzack grabs a table from ringside... he scoops up Flair... and OH MY! He just SLAMED Flair RIGHT DOWN THROUGH THE TABLE! Worthington's gotta get out here and stop this... it's getting out of hand!
SB: It is not! Personally, I'd love to see Flair get beatings like this one more often! Vizzack too, for that matter. Looks like the KING of EXTREME is getting a lesson of his own!
BB: (Under his breath)I know you would... Flair is holding his back, and he's GOT to be hurt! Vizzack rolls him into the ring, and he's trying to enter the ring with a chair... the man ANGRY! Worthington finally gets the chair away from Mark Vizzack and chucks it to the outside... and look at this! Vizzack is up in his face!
SB: Well, he deserved it! He took the man's chair!
BB: I'm surprised Worthington didn't DQ Vizzack right there. He's letting a LOT go in this match! Now, Vizzack's pulling Flair into the center of the ring, things do not look good!
SB: The Worm... or Captain Schitzo? Which one can pull it out?
BB: Sammy, I'm surprised at Mark Vizzack tonight! He's showing the world a darker side of himself that we really haven't seen!
SB: Hey, in there against some of these guys, you gotta pull out ALL the stops.
BB: Vizzack setting up Flair with a TOE-HOLD... AND HE GETS CHINLOCK in at the same thing... it's very much like Eli Flair's Total Elimination, but it puts more stress on the back than it does the legs! Flair screams out in pain, and I don't know if he can hold on much longer!
SB: You'd better not put money on that. I don't like Flair all that much, but he's a tough one! Listen to him talking to Worthington in there! Ben asks if he wants to give, and Flair screams at him "I SAID NO!" He's not gonna quit.
BB: Flair pumping his hands, he's trying to power up! Wait a second... he locks both arms of Vizzack, and he's trying to get up to his feet... he's DOING IT! Flair has the Vizzack up in a crucifix-like position... and he BACKS into the corner, SQUASHING Vizzack in! Flair collapses to the canvas, and Vizzack does the same! We're 20 minutes in here, and we're getting closer to the time limit with each passing second!
SB: What's the time limit for this match?
BB: This match has a thirty minute time limit! We might not have to worry about that, because neither Flair or Vizzack has BUDGED since falling to the canvas! Finally, Vizzack grabs the middle rope, and he's attempting to pull himself back up! Flair still isn't moving!
SB: It's all over! Just make the cover, Worm, and you've got yourself a win!
BB: Vizzack isn't thinking about the pinfall right now, he's thinking about staying on his fight right about now! He finally regains his balance... AND DROPS A KNEE... NO! Flair gets to his feet quickly! Flair was just playing possum and resting at the same time! He's to his feet, picks up Vizzack, SIDE SUPLEX, nicely executed! A cover by Flair, 1...........2...........NO! Mark Vizzack gets the arm up!
SB: Where's Eddy?
BB: Will you stop whining already? Flair brings Vizzack back to his feet, sets him up... AND DROPS A REVERSE NECKBREAKER! This match is all but over! Flair bringing Vizzack back up to his feet... AND HE LOCKS IN THE CHICKEN-WING CROSSFACE! HE'S GOT IT, AND HE BRINGS MARK DOWN TO THE CANVAS WITH EASE!
SB: No, no, no, no, NO!
BB: Worthington down on the canvas, he doesn't think Vizzack's gonna keep going... but he WON'T GIVE UP! Flair just keeps it locked on, and there's no real way for Vizzack to get out of this... he's fading, and I don't think he's with it anymore! Worthington checks the arm.... it DROPS ONCE... DROPS TWICE... THREE TIMES... NO! Vizzack keeps the arm up, but it fades right back down! He's got to get to the ropes, or he can forget about it... he's reaching... AND HE GETS THE BOTTOM ROPE! Flair has to break the hold! We've only got FIVE MINUTES LEFT HERE!
SB: YES! All you've got to do is last for FIVE MINUTES! You can do it!
BB: Why do you care if they go the time limit?
SB: Do you know how hard it is to recover from a DRAW in the Ironman of Champions?
BB: Good point, Sammy... Flair with a BACKBREAKER on Vizzack, and now, he heads off the ropes... uh oh... he's gonna drop a knee to the shoulder of Vizzack... NO! MARK ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY! And, I'll tell you, it's a good thing that he did!
SB: You're telling me! That knee probably would have cracked his arm in two... he's probably using Bugbrain's replacement parts...
BB: Flair setting Vizzack up... POWERBOMB! NO! Vizzack hooked his legs around Flair's neck! FRANK'N'PARSONS! There's the cover, 1.......2..........3! He got him!
SB: Look at Flair! He's stunned!
BB: This match went nearly the time limit, and... Oh no. Vizzack is holding his shoulder, Sammy... this isn't good.
SB: Flair loses, and Vizzack is hurt! This is GREAT!
BB: Yeah, it's just your kind of night isn't it, Sammy. Fans, let's head down to Rhubarb Jones.
RJ: Ladies and gentlemen, you saw him in action earlier tonight in his first match again Deacon....
("All Star" by Smashmouth begins to play)
BB: Listen to this crowd roar, remembering the first match of the night!
RJ: He stands at six feet five inches, two hundred sixty-three pounds, and hails from right here in Greensboro, North Carolina. Accompanied to the ring by Poison Ivy, he has been a champion more than thirty times over, and is in the hunt for his FIFTH CSWA World Championship....he is......HORNET!
BB: A rather mixed reaction from this crowd, Sammy. We saw it earlier as well.
SB: Well, a man gets some reaction in his hometown, even if the rest of the world hates him.
RJ: His opponent makes his IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS debut in this match.
("Whole Lotta Love" by Led Zeppelin begins to pipe over the loudspeakers to a mixed reaciton)
RJ: Standing at six feet four inches, two hundred fifty-five pounds, this former NWC World Champion is accompanied to the ring by Sweet Melissa. He is a former CSWA World Champion by virtue of his FISH FUND XII victory in a 32-man tournament, he is "HURRICANE" EDDY LOVE!
IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS
SB: Get a load of those two. You've just gotta love it. Perfect hair, perfect body, perfect everything.
BB: Are you talking about Eddy or Melissa?
SB: Hmmm...both actually, I guess.
BB: I'm not even going to pursue that any further. The last time these two men hooked up was in the semi-finals of the tournament you heard Rhubarb Jones mention. Love went through Hornet and then Starr in one night to win the strap....so while he may be new to the IOC, he's certainly not new to the big time.
SB: I'm gonna go out on a limb and tell you that Eddy Love will be the first man EVER to go through the IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS undefeated.
BB: Who knows, Sammy, even you can get lucky sometimes. Referee Patrick Young has the call in this one, and there's the bell. And we haven't yet mentioned that Ivy's at ringside....
SB: Looks like Hornet decided to bring her out after the loss to Deacon....and it might actually be a smart move, with the lovely and talented Sweet Melissa holding down the fort for Eddy.
BB: Collar-and-elbow tie-up in the ring....these two waste no time going at it. The slight power edge gives way to the former Unified Champion as he sends Love into the ropes and drops him with a clothesline. The follow-up knee drop misses as Love rolls out of the way, and the two quickly lock up once again in the middle of the ring. These two men are probably two of the most technically-sound wrestlers in the world, Sammy.
SB: Yeah, but I've got a feeling that this one won't come down to pure technique.
BB: Probably not. Love gets the advantage and sends Hornet for the ride.....leapfrog by Hornet, as Love sets him up for a shoulder block....but both men stay on their feet. They go to hook up again.....russian leg sweep by Love!!! Hornet is down, the follow-up elbow by Love is on target. Love pulls Hornet to his feet.....he hooks in the half nelson...which slips a bit, until referee Young warns Love about the choke. Love goes to take Hornet over in a belly-to-back suplex, but Hornet powers through and out. Knee to the stomach by Love bends Hornet in half, setting him up for a knee lift to the head that puts him on his back.
SB: Eddy Love....the best darn wrestler goin round today.
BB: Love lets Hornet get to his feet, and stands back measuring him....running shoulder breaker!!! And Hornet goes through the top two ropes to the outside!!! He lands near Sweet Melissa....
SB: Put the heels to him, Melissa!
BB: ...but Ivy is quickly around the corner. Melissa backs away as Ivy stands guard over Hornet. Hornet to his feet...he mumbles something to Ivy and rolls back inside the ring, where Love is waiting to 'help' him in. Hornet with a shoulder to the midsection backs Love a step. Hornet grabs hold of the top rope and catapults himself up to it.....Hornet off the top.....bumblaster!
SB: We call that a top rope shoulderblock these days, Buckley.
BB: Old habits are hard to break, Sammy. Hornet to his feet, he pulls Love up and sends him down with a quick clothesline. Love gets to his feet quickly and ducks the haymaker from Hornet. Hornet follows with an attempt at a body slam, but Love blocks it and sends Hornet down. Love with an elbow, and another, and another...he hooks the leg, but gets only a one count before getting hoisted towards the ropes by Hornet The former four-time World Champ pulls Love up and slams him back-first into the corner. Hornet whips the former NWC World Champ across into the turnbuckle and follows in with a hard elbow. He leaps on the second rope and pummels Love with hard right hands...but the crowd is definitely not totally on his side. It's amazing to see this, Sammy....I never thought we'd walk into Merritt Auditorium and hear Hornet soundly booed.
SB: It's been almost six months, Buckley, get over it.
BB: Hornet jumps down off the turnbuckle, grabs Love back by the head, and sends him face-first to the mat. Hornet heads to the second rope, setting up for a risky elbow drop.......that misses as Love hears Melissa's yell and rolls out of the way. Hornet hits hard, and Love uses the ropes to pull himself to his feet. Hornet staggers to his feet, but Love is ready, dropping him down hard with an inverted atomic drop. Hornet is stunned, and Love takes advantage, sending Hornet for the ride and then hot-shotting him neck-first on the ropes! Hornet goes down clutching his throat...but there's no rest for the weary. Love takes advantage by going for...and hooking in the figure four!!! He's got Hornet right in the middle of the ring...and the winner of the original IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS is in serious trouble here! He's got one loss under his belt, and he's stuck in the figure four! Patrick Young asks Hornet if he wants to give it up, but Hornet responds with a pained no. On the outside, Sweet Melissa grabs hold of Love's hands and gives Eddy a little extra added pressure, which elicits another screamed no from Hornet.
SB: You've got to admit, Buckley, it's the perfect tag team.
BB: I thought that was supposed to be Powers and Love.
SB: That was last month.
BB: Oh, I see. Young checks the hold, and almost catches the extra oomph given by Melissa, but not quite. Funny how it always works out that way, isn't it?
SB: Yeah....but Ivy just caught her!
BB: So she did....Ivy advances on Melissa, that dangerous singapore cane in hand, and Love's manager heads around the corner. As Young leans in to ask Hornet if he wants to submit....Love reaches out for his lever, and instead finds Ivy standing there!
SB: That's a nasty surprise.
BB: Hornet seizes the advantage to try and turn Love over, but he's not successful. However, Love does lose enough leverage that he lets up on the leglock on his own. Love is first to his feet, but get shoved away as he goes for a running neckbreaker. Hornet with a standing dropkick, and he quickly follows up with a brainbuster!!! Love is down....and Hornet hooks the leg! ONE.........NO...Love quickly kicks out. Hornet with a hard clothesline! He pulls Love up and sends him into the ropes. Love ducks the clothesline, comes back across and leapfrogs Hornet. Drop toe hold as Love comes by for the third time, and Hornet quickly hooks in a reverse chinlock. Eddy Love grabs the ropes and Patrick Young calls for the break, which Hornet refuses to give. Young begins a five-count and Hornet lets up...but not before catching Love with a boot to the midsection.
SB: I don't think I like this 'new' Hornet.
BB: Like someone once said, Sammy, it's been six months, get over it. Hornet grabs the hair and drags Love to the middle of the ring, ignoring the protests made by both Love and Young. Hornet hooks in the abdominal stretch, and now it's Love's turn to vehemently protest when Young asks him if he wants to submit. Love tries to power his way out, but Hornet has the arm and leg hooked, rendering him almost helpless.
SB: Come on Eddy!!!!
BB: So much for journalistic integrity.
SB: I'm not a journalist, Buckley....I'm a commentator, there's a difference, ask Bob Ryder.
BB: Love still refuses to give, but Hornet refuses to let up on the abdominal stretch.
SB: But help is on the way!
BB: Sweet Melissa jumps to the apron, immediately attracting Patrick Young's attention. She appears to be complaining about something....and she gestures across to the other side of the ringside area, where Ivy is standing. Young looks over....and Melissa uses the opportunity to thumb Hornet in the eye. Love powers out of the abdominal stretch, and Hornet staggers into the corner. Knee to the stomach by Love....Eddy Love grabs Hornet and sends him across with an irish whip. Hornet slams into the opposite side....but comes running out to meet Love. The two collide with a double clothesline, and both men go down hard. Neither man gets to his feet, and Young begins a standing ten-count. Hornet rolls towards the ropes and begins pulling himself up with a little help from the steel cables.
SB: No! Get up Eddy, get up!
BB: But Hornet's on his feet first...although Eddy's not far behind. Hornet charges.....CLOTHESLINE! Love almost did a 360 on that one. But look at Eddy.....he's up almost as quickly as he went down! But Hornet is ready. He sends Love for the ride.....Love into the corner......HORNET SPLASH!!!! Hornet backs away, pulling Love with him....he sends him across again...setting him up one more time. HORNET......LOVE PULLS YOUNG IN THE WAY! The Hornet Splash catches Young and Love......but I think Hornet cracked heads with Young. He grabs his head...Young falls out of the way, and it looks like Love is trying to shake off that second-hand splash. He does....and he rockets Hornet out of the way with a huge belly to belly suplex! Love follows up...he's setting Hornet up......HURRICANE PILEDRIVER!!!!
SB: GOOD NIGHT IRENE!!! THIS ONE IS OVER!
BB: But there's no one to count the pin....Sweet Melissa is trying to wake Patrick Young, with little success. But now Poison Ivy makes her move!!! SINGAPORE CANE to the head of the former CSWA World Champion! Love drops like a ton of bricks, as Ivy tries to help Hornet to his feet. Hornet and Ivy retreat to a neutral corner, as Love begins to recover from that cane shot. Young begins to recover as well, and Ivy quickly takes a powder back to the outside.
SB: That woman really needs to be dragged away and shot.
BB: But I don't think you're the man to do it, Sammy. Love and Hornet lock up one more time...we're down to about ten minutes left in this one.
SB: I'm serious....she just needs to be bumped off.
BB: Let's not go into the last time you started talking about 'bumping' people off, Sammy. The two big men trade punches as a still-groggy Patrick Young looks on. Love slips in one more knee to the midsection, taking control. Belly to belly suplex by Love, but Hornet kicks out before any count. Love goes for another, but Hornet hiptosses the Hurricane. Hornet grabs hold of the formerly finely coiffed hair of Love to pull him to his feet. Hornet tries to send Love into the corner, but gets reversed and sent against the ropes. Back body drop by Love, but Hornet rolls to his feet. Love again sends Hornet for the ride........Hornet ducks the clothesline and comes back across....FLYING BODY PRESS! He pulls Love to his feet and slams him into the corner, but Patrick Young got knocked to the mat AGAIN by Hornet's elbow!
SB: What's wrong with that blasted referee? Oh yeah....I forgot, he's Carl Young's son.
BB: Hornet's going back for the setup! And Ivy's up on the apron....she's got that cane across Eddy's neck to keep him in the corner! Here it comes......HORNET SPLASH!!!!
SB: And a cane shot to the head for good measure.
BB: Hornet pulls Eddy out of the corner and he hits the mat. He pulls Patrick Young to the middle of the ring, and then hooks the leg on Love. ONE...................TWO.....................THREE! Hornet gets the win...he picks up his first twenty points with two matches to go.
SB: That was really unfair, Buckley. I'm protesting.
BB: Be careful...Hornet might hear you....and you never know where Ivy's got that branding iron hidden. Fans, we'll be right back with our next match!
IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS
SB: And the Mute Freak has already beaten Hornet tonight, something That Worm couldn't do without dispute. But I'll give 'em this, Buckley.... these two men are tied at 20 points right now along with Hornet, if one can pull out a pin or submission, they'll have a definite edge for the rest of their matches tonight.
BB: Vizzack and Deacon lock up, but Vizzack breaks away, rubbing his shoulder. This is going to be a difficult match for him, Sammy!
SB: So what? Toss him in there and make him wrestle like a motherf--
BB: They lock up again, and Deacon closes around Vizzack's head with a reverse headlock! Vizzack to the ropes, and the hold will break. These two men represent the moral HIGH point of the CSWA, Sammy.... I can't imagine we'll see a lot of cheap shots in this one.
SB: That's their whole problem.
BB: They lock up again, and Vizzack is sent into the ropes! Shoulderblock, and the Daredevil goes down hard!
SB: Hard and LOUD!
BB: Vizzack is on the mat, holding his shoulder. Sammy, I don't think he's considering the decision to wrestle tonight a particularly good one. Deacon with the cover, ONE.... TWO.... NO! Vizzack kicks out, but was that the best decision?
SB: Take the loss, kid. Pray you don't have to wrestle in the next match, and get yourself some morphine.
BB: While the practice is a questionable one, Sammy, I agree with your intent. Nobody has ever been a TRUE "Ironman," in the sense that they won every one of their matches. Vizzack would be best served by taking the fall and biding his time for the other half of his matches.
SB: Still.... Vizzack's got Hornet, Powers, and Eddy to look forward to. He can't be happy about that.
BB: Vizzack to his feet, and he goes on the offensive with a series of kicks to the big man! Deacon staggers backward! Vizzack's main strength is in his legs and feet, Sammy.... but that shoulder injury has SEVERELY cut down viable offense for him. Off the ropes.... Flying head scissors! There's the cover, ONE.... TWO.... NO! Deacon didn't come this far to get pinned by Vizzack that easily.
SB: Why not? It's happened every OTHER time.
BB: Stop it, Sammy. Vizzack sets Deacon up in the corner.... VIZZ SPLASH! No.... Deacon is able to get out of the way, and Vizzack hits the turnbuckle hard!
SB: This is where Bugbrain started to go downhill.
BB: Indeed, Deacon sets Vizzack up.... ALTAR CALL! Worthington there to count the pin, ONE.... TWO.... THREE! NO! Vizzack draped his foot across the bottom rope at the LAST SECOND! This match will continue!
SB: How? This match should be over so we can bring out Eddy!
BB: Stop it, Sammy. Deacon sets Vizzack up.... POWERBOMB! Into the ropes.... POWERSLAM! Deacon looks to be in complete control of the match now.
SB: Looks can be deceiving. Look at your rug.
BB: I beg your pardon?
SB: Don't beg, it's embarassing.
BB: Whatever, Sammy. Deacon picks Vizzack back up.... CHOKESLAM! There's the cover again, ONE.... TWO.... NO! This is getting desperate, Sammy. It's like Vizzack can't give any offense, but he REFUSES to give in. There's a standing suplex by the big man, and Vizzack is holding his shoulder like it's on the verge of falling off!
SB: He needs to pin the Worm and move on to something else.
BB: Deacon sends Vizzack into the ropes again.... Backdrop.... Wait! Deacon dropped his head too soon and Vizzack caught him with a DDT! This match is still either man's!
SB: The Worm can't win the strap again! It's just.... not fair.
BB: Vizzack with a kick to Deacon's stomach, and the big man is doubled! The Daredevil is off the ropes.... DAREDEVIL FLYER! No! Deacon dropped to his knees, and Vizzack's shoulder collided with the big man's head! Deacon doesn't waste a second, as he covers the fallen Daredevil! ONE.... TWO.... THREE! Deacon gets the pinfall, and moves ahead into first place with 40 points.
SB: But the Worm didn't just lose a match.... Look at the EMT personnel in the ring right now. Vizzack may have lost his chance to be the CSWA World Champion again!
BB: It's a tragedy when things like this happen.... but everyone who plays the game knows what could happen. As the medics help Vizzack out of the ring, let's head up to Rhubarb Jones to get an update on the standings, as well as announcing our next matchup.
RJ: Ladies and gentlemen, making his first appearance thus far in the IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS, here is the former United States Heavyweight Champion....."GOOD GOD" KEVIN POWERS!!!!
BB: Well, we're gonna get Powers into the mix here....the EMTs are helping Vizzack toward the back as Powers makes his way down. Vizzack is on his feet, but that shoulder is obviously severely hurt.
RJ: And his opponent, the man who won the title from Eddy Love at ELVIS LIVES....this is "DAREDEVIL" MARK VIZZACK!
IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS
SB: YES! The worm has finally been forced to wrestle Powers!
BB: Vizzack looks even worse for the wear, ladies and gentlemen, and even though he's only lost one match so far, the odds are against him. This is his second match in a row, his shoulder is in terrible shape, and Powers is fresh. The EMTs are trying to keep him from going back down, but Vizzack won't allow them to stop him.
SB: Look on the bright side, Cloudy doesn't have to worry about anyone trying to attack her.
BB: Sammy, that's hardly a good side. Vizzack is hurt, Powers is distracted.... this match could be the low point of the night. Of course, with the talent that's part of it, there really IS no low point.
SB: Remove your foot from your mouth and back away.
BB: Knock it off, Sammy. They lock up, but Powers immediately locks an armbar on that forces the former World Champion to his knees! He's trying to wrench that shoulder, Sammy!
SB: It's a smart strategy. Vizzack's now wrestled three of the first five matches tonight, but Alexander Karelin, he is not!
BB: Powers lets up, and immediately follows with a kick to the shoulderblade! He's made no illusions where the focus of his attack will be, has he? Powers sets Vizzack up.... T-BONE SUPLEX! The cover, ONE.... TWO.... NO! Vizzack isn't done just yet!
SB: He's actually getting up! Powers is nodding in appreciation for the Worm's attempts!
BB: There IS such a thing as sportsmanship, Sammy. Sometimes just acknowledging that another wrestler has some skill is all you need to do.
SB: Who cares?
BB: They square off, and it is Vizzack getting the upper hand with a full nelson. Powers powers out, but Vizzack gouges the eye, setting Powers up for another full nelson. There's a double thrust punch by the former Champ, and another eye gouge! Vizzack with a dropkick to the knee....Powers almost goes down! Vizzack wants this one over early, anyway possible. But Powers is able to hook in a headlock while he recovers from that series of eye gouges and dropkicks. Now he catches the Daredevil with a belly to belly suplex. And then he hooks that headlock back in.
SB: Hey, that's good technical wrestling.
BB: I'm surprised you know that! Vizzack fireman carries Powers and then nails him with a series of chops that they can hear up there in the balcony! Man! Vizzack whips Powers into the ropes. There's a flying body press by the former champ! He follows up with Half Boston! Powers is in trouble here. He tries to power out, but Vizzack has it hooked in tight.
SB: This is tactically to Vizzack's advantage, you know. He's making Powers carry his weight, while he's giving his shoulder a chance to rest. And even though Powers is a good half a foot taller than Vizzack, the Worm has a good hold on it.
BB: I've seen some desperate moves from Vizzack tonight.... From his matchup against Flair where he reinjured that shoulder, to his desperate measures against Deacon.... Now he keeps going for Powers' throat.
SB: Buckley, it's not a matter of integrity anymore. It's a matter of everyone telling him he's too small to compete for the World Title. From Powers telling him he was a cruiserweight at best, to Eddy's "Worm" comments, to Bugbrain's mere presence, he's felt pressure from DAY ONE to prove his worth as a contender.
BB: You have a very good point, Sammy.
SB: I know. But it won't change anything. The Worm is still gonna lose, Powers is gonna power out, and Eddy is going home with the gold.
BB: I don't know how much more of this Powers can take. He's inching his way to the ropes, and there, he finally grabs hold, breaking the boston crab.
SB: Come on Powers!
BB: Powers hooks in a bear hug, but Vizzack powers out and hooks in a full nelson of his own. Powers grabs the ropes and goes back to the bear hug. Again, Vizzack powers out, and this time catches Powers in the throat with a double thrust punch! But Vizzack felt the effects of that as well, and is holding his shoulder in pain! Vizzack follows with a clip to the knee, sending Powers down, now he's stomping a mudhole on that right knee of Powers!
BB: Man, Vizzack wants this thing over! He's bending some rules badly!
SB: He's tasted the Forbidden fruit, Buckley, and that's enough to make ANYONE bend the rules to get back to it. But Powers isn't exactly without resources.
BB: His ties to PLR are tenuous at best, Sammy.... especially with Radder gone. Perhaps Powers is looking more at some "Corporate" allies?
SB: He was never REALLY in the CORP.... he was Eddy's buddy who was just allied with them.
BB: Well, he's not allied with anyone but himself now. Powers catches him with a savat kick, but Vizzack uses a fireman's takeover to send him to the mat. That sets Powers up for.... a Scorpion Deathlock?
SB: Oh no. What is he doing?
BB: Vizzack with a page out of Hornet's book, locking on the Scorpion! But Powers grabs the ropes, and the hold must break! As he makes it to his feet, Vizzack delivers another double thrust punch to the throat. And now he heads to the top while Powers writhes in pain!
SB: Don't tell me the Worm is about to tie it up with the Mute Freak!
BB: Vizzack rubs his shoulder for luck.... MOONSAULT! ONE.... TWO.... NO! Powers with the kickout!
BB: Vizzack's shoulder may have popped there! What's going to happen now?
SB: He's gonna lose, Buckley.... just like I said.
BB: Powers scoops Vizzack.... DDT! Is he going for the cover? NO! SHOULDERBREAKER!
SB: NOW he's gonna go for the cover.
BB: Powers sets up Vizzack once again.... KISS THE CANVAS! There's the cover, ONE.... TWO.... THREE! Powers gets a hard fought victory, and he's on the board after one match with twenty points!
SB: Cloudy's trying to help Vizzack to his feet. Hey sweetie pie.... Give Sammy some sugar!
BB: Sammy! Ms. Del Payne helps Vizzack from the ring.... as he has been mathematically eliminated from the tournament. The best he can hope for is 40 points, and Deacon's victory over him in the last match would break the tie. Still.... he has one match to go, and against either Eddy Love or Hornet, he can still alter the flow of the tournament toward or against another.
SB: Whatever.... pick his ass up, he's broke!
BB: This is definitely not the way former World Champion "Daredevil" Mark Vizzack wanted his ANNIVERSARY night to shape up, to say the least. After a victory over Eli, Mark has since lost back to back matches to Deacon and Kevin Powers. Oh wow, we've just gotten the word from Rhubarb Jones...Mark Vizzack faces Eddy Love NEXT....this is amazing.
SB: And due to the luck of the draw, he'll be out here wrestling in about 5 minutes again. Who the heck made this schedule? Marvin? The man can hardly be trusted to use the bathroom alone, and now he's determing the lineup of the IRONMAN OF CHAMPIONS? I knew the company had problems, but this is disgraceful.
BB: I doubt Marvin, had anything to do with it. Though, it may explain a lot. Mark Vizzack makes his way to the back, where he'll have a few minutes to gather himself before the start of this final match.
SB: That's probably what Marvin was doing when he made the lineup...gathering himself.
SB: Oh like that's not nice to say!
BB: Before Vizzack faces off against Eddy Love, Rudy Seizter has a special interview with The "English Gent" Lawrence Stanley!RS: Ladies and gentlemen, one of the winners of the Battle Royal at ShowTime, along with his manager Lord Alfred, please welcome "The English Gent" Lawrence Stanley. (The crowd starts to boo as the English national anthem is played. Stanley walks out in an expensive suit, hand made in England, Lord Alfred walks alongside him. They are both disgusted at their welcome by the fans and are berating them as they go past.) RS: So Lawrence, In Nassau you and Alex Wylde will fight to see who gets a title shot at the Greensboro title?
LS: First off little man, when you address me, you refer to me as "The English Gent" or Mr. Stanley. Now to you 'gutter trash'. In Nassau we meet once again, I'm sure you have been dying to hear what revelation I am to drop tonight, well wait no longer. You see Wylde you seem to take great pride at being 'from the street'. You seem to loathe the fact I am of a higher class and standard than of you and all the people here tonight. (The crowd boo again.) So to give you a fighting chance in Nassau, I suggested to the heads of the CSWA that the match should be a no holds barred street fight. (Crowd cheer at the thought of Stanley getting beaten up.) It willl be just like a hardcore match but it will take place in the car park outside. This way you can not say I haven't given you a chance. All we need know is your acceptance of the stipulation. Now some people may feel that this is an advantage to you, but the way I see it is that outside there is so much, more potential to injure you than in a mere ring. You see 'gutter trash' I don't like you, I don't respect you and most important of all I don't fear you. In Nassau You will feel the wrath of "The English Gent" Lawrence Stanley and if you don't like it, you can go and find someone who cares! With that both myself and Alfred wish to say good day to all the great unwashed both here tonight and the millions of paupers watching at home (Crowd boo even more.) Once again the pleasure has been all yours.(With that Stanley pushes Seizter out the way and he and Alfred proceed to go back to the locker room, berating more fans on the way as the crowd boo even more.)
SB: Give it up for him, Buckley...the man's got class.
BB: Oh please.
SB: Hey, maybe if you washed behind your ears, and chewed gum once in a while you'd get the red carpet treatment everywhere you went, like Lord Stanley does.
BB: It's because the man literally carries a red carpet around and rolls it out himself. Would you like me to do that, as well?
SB: Someone missed their nap today....
BB: Help me Obi-Rhubarb, you're my only hope..
IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS
RJ: (The bell rings three times.) Ladies and gentleman.... (The crowd starts standing up, making a lot of noise.) The opening round of the Ironman of Champions continues...
(CUE UP: "Whole Lotta Love" by Led Zep.)
RJ: Led to the ring by the beautiful Sweet Melissa... is a former CSWA World Champion, and one-half of the current tag team champions. Hailing from wherever he wants to... this is The HURRRIIICAANNNEEE.... EDDDY LOOOOOVVVVEEEE.
(The boos from the crowd are coming in. Sweet Melissa is applauding for her man, who is raising his hands in triumph on the second turnbuckle. He takes off his T-Shirt, and hes wearing blue trunks that say "LOVE" in script over a pink heart on his butt.)
(CUE UP: "The Show Must Go On" - Queen)
RJ: And his opponent, former World Heavyweight Champion, "Daredevil" Mark Vizzack!!
(crowd pops big, Vizzack w/Sunshine walks out of the curtain. He acknowledges the crowd, but also favors his bad shoulder)
(Cut-to: A little boy, who's grossly overweight. He's hanging over the railing hoping that Sunshine notices his sign that reads "Let your Sun Shine on me tonight". She sees it, and offers an embarrased smile. Vizzack shakes a few hands before hitting the ring)
BB: It's Eddy Love and Mark Vizzack. Goes without saying both men in dire straits for a win. Love after losing to HORNET earlier needs to put a 'W' and 20 pts in the win column. Vizzack on the other hand...
SB: Can kiss his baby good bye.
BB: It's amazing they pay for you for this. Unreal.
SB: No the best part is that my former training lies in pediatrics.
BB: Yeah, you're a man of many talents. Winner here picks up 20 pts. For Vizzack he's hoping to tie Deacon at 40, and as I mentioned before Eddy needs a win to get on the board.
SB: He'll win. Trust me, I'm as sure about that as I am that they'll never be another Pee Wee Herman movie!
::Sunshine and Sweet Melissa wish their men luck, and then step outside. The bell rings. Love and Vizzack lock up::
BB: Actually Sammy I heard today that Paul Reubens plans to do a sequel.
SB: What's sad is that I'll be there on opening night.
BB: Eddy Love takes control early and backs Vizzack into the corner. Patrick Young calls for a clean break, but Love after taking a step back pops Mark in the head! Love again with a right, but this time Vizzack blocks it and lands a blow of his own!
::Vizzack whips Eddy into the opposite corner, and rushes in with a dropkick::
BB: With his ailing shoulder, getting that kind of lift off the ground was no easy task. Vizzack attempts a quick pin, Love kicks out at the count of 1. Mark with a headlock applied to Love, Eddy backs Vizz into the ropes and shoots him across the ring.
:: Love hits the mat, Vizzack leaps over him, comes off the ropes again and takes Eddy down with a flying leg scissors takedown::
BB: Nice takedown by the "Daredevil". Vizzack quickly gets to his feet and heads outside the ropes...Mark vaults himself up over the top rope and leg drops Love! You figure if Vizzack is to win, he's gotta do it early! That injured shoulder can't possibly hold out for long.
SB: Darn it Bill, you're a twit not a doctor.
BB: Eddy in a bit of trouble early, as Vizzack heads to the top turnbuckle. Mark, SHOOTING STAR PRESS off the top, but Love moves out of the way! Mere inches away from a possible win and 20 points for Vizzack. But, Love not quite out of it manages to slip out from harm's way.
SB: The boob might have been inches away from a win, but i'm a few inches from the so Sweet Melissa. Buckley, you would not believe how lovely she smells. If I could just reach out and....
BB: Enough. Eddy begins to go to work, with a fallen Vizzack on the mat. The former World Champion drives a knee into Vizzack's gimp shoulder. Sammy you can see the expression of pain on the man's face. That's the heart of a champion. Probably shouldn't be out there, but he's competing in hopes of becoming a 2-time World Champion.
SB: You can also tell he's in discomfort by the horrible screams he's letting out. Quick, aren't I.
BB: Very. Love wraps one of Mark's arms around his back and throws him into the turnbuckle shoulder first. In all fairness, he's doing what he has to do. If a man is hurt, you go after that weakness. I hate to say it, but it's true.
SB: Buckley, I'm shocked. You're making sense for the first time in years.
BB: Love hip tosses Vizzack out of the corner an charges for a clothesline, but Mark with a drop toe hold takes him down! Vizzack turns it into a camel clutch! Submission move!
SB: Also one that hurts like the dickens. Come on, Eddy....kill him if you have to.
BB: Not sure how much pressure Vizzack can get with his injury...I'm sure it's hurting him almost as much as it is Love.
::Eddy gets to his knees. Vizzack still has the move sunk in::
SB: Then he's a boob for trying the move.
BB: Love to his feet now, with Vizzack still holding on! Eddy thrusts backwards and slams Vizzack down. Good counter by Love. Eddy, has a few words with a fan at ringside before rolling out of the ring. He reaches under the ropes and pulls Vizzack outside.
SB: If those idiots would learn to keep their mouth shut and let a man of greatness go to work, they wouldn't be put in their place.
BB: You're so kind. Love eyes the entrance steps...and fires Vizzack shoulder first in the steps! Oh, you could nearly see Mark's shoulder cave in. I can't imagine this will go on much longer. Eddy with a chair in hand now, jabs it at Vizzack!
SB: It's the goof's fault for not getting out of the way, Eddy was just trying to set it up to sit down.
::Eddy holds Mark as Sweet Melissa steps over and slaps the fire out of his face::
BB: That's not necessary! The man's already hurt, he doesn't need to be slapped by Melissa!
SB: The kid has a foul mouth, he probably said something he should not have..and Melissa was being a sweetie and putting him back in his place. She's good like that.
BB: Eddy attempts to swing Vizzack into the iron post, but Mark reverses and sends Love flying into it instead! From behind Sweet Melissa tries to slap him again, but this time Sunshine blocks it and slaps Melissa across the face! (crowd pops)
::Vizzack sets up a chair. Gets a little room and takes off running, springs off the chair and bulldogs Eddy on the floor::
BB: What a move!! Love's head is slightly busted open. These two no strangers to each other, and they're proving that again here today. Mark rolls Eddy inside, he might be close to finishing this one off and tieing Deacon for the lead!
SB: Why didn't you chastise Sunshine for getting involved?!
BB: Apples and oranges, Sammy.
SB: Are we talking breast size here or what?
BB: Stop it. Vizzack in the ring, bodyslams Love. He's headed back to the top...this might be the shooting star press again! This time can he hit it!
SB: What do you think?
::Vizzack leaps off, as he's coming out of his flip, Eddy Love who jumped to his feet catches him...holds him in the air for a second and powerbombs him to the mat::
BB: I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
SB: Believe it, Buckley...the man's not of this world.
BB: Love falls over Vizzack for the cover, 1.....2......3....(mixed pop) with a foot on the middle rope to boot! Eddy Love picks up the win, and gets on the board with 20 pts!
SB: I love it, I love it!
(Sweet Melissa walks by the broadcast table and flirts with Benson)
SB: And the win by Eddy was great too.
BB: Vizzack eliminated from the IOC. What a fight out here tonight by the former champion, who came into the tournament at less than 100%. Vizzack ends the night at 1-3 with twenty points....but he's got to be considered the true "Ironman" of the night, after wrestling three matches in a row.
SB: Cry me a river, and you can't take the heat...ah forget it.
IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS
BB: And from what we've just been told, it looks like Eddy Love's gonna get his chance to do a little Ironman back-to-back. Eddy is halfway done, and he needs a win here in order to have a chance to get above that forty-point barrier.
(Cue Up: "Another Brick in the Wall" by Pink Floyd. CUT TO: The curtain in front of the entranceway. The lights dim, and a spotlight shines on the curtain. Laser lights go in tune with the music up and down the aisleway. Fans start screaming and cheering... and then out from the back comes Eli Flair. Flairs wearing dark sunglasses, a black trenchcoat over his traditional black European singlet, and black boots. Flair comes out, pauses in the middle of the aisleway, and looks both ways. He takes off his sunglasses, and raises both his fists in the air triumphantly. As soon as he does that, the Merritt Auditorium erupts. Eli looks around- and a deafening chant of "EEEE-LIII, EEEE-LIII, EEEE-LIII" is heard. Flair runs to the ring, slides under the ropes and hops on the second turnbuckle. The lights come back on, and he takes off his trenchcoat. stretching. CUE UP: "A Whole Lotta Love" by Led Zepplin. The crowd IMMEDIATELY starts booing. Theres a brief dramatic pause... and then, out already in his trunks is "Hurricane" Eddy Love. Love is staring at the ring, and Sweet Melissa, still in her dress, looks at the camera and mouths, "Its business now." Elis back is turned to Eddy, who slides into the ring and--)
BB: Love isnt waiting for any introductions- he attacks Eli from behind! A jab, a jab, and another one sends Eli to the ground!
SB: Eddy was just toying with everyone before... now its time for him to show everyone what greatness is all about!
BB: Love has Eli back up- (a chant of ELI begins again) He whips Eli to the rop- Eli reverses, he drops down, Love off the far ropes- DROPKICK FROM ELI! Eddy Love rolls out of the ring.
SB: Hes just toying, getting his momentum back... trust me, Buckley!
BB: Eli bounces off the ropes- HES NOT LETTING LOVE REST! SLIDING DROPKICK UNDER THE BOTTOM ROPE! Love goes flying into the railing hard! Eli hits him once, he hits him again- NO! Eddy Love chops Eli in the neck.
SB: HA! Look at that freak moron gasp for air... Eddy Love knows SOOO many ways to cheat- wait, I mean hurt you.
BB: Pee Wee Troutman is trying to get these guys in the ring, but I doubt hell be able to... not with the King of Hardcore out there. Love punches Eli- NO! Eli blocks it! Thumb to the eye! Eli grabs love- he whips him HARD into the railing! Now Eli whips Love- NO! Short-arm whip into the rail! And again!
SB: What does this freak think hes doing, combining his brawling with wrestling?
BB: Just that, Sammy... Eli Flair is a brawler, and a technician. Eli now has Eddy Love, and he rolls him back into the ring... Eli (the crowd stands on its FEET as Elis going under the ring) ELIS GETTING A TABLE! ELIS GETTING A TABLE! Flair slides the table into the ring-- and- OH! MELISSA JUST CROTCHED ELI! MELISSA JUST CROTCHED ELI! Eli falls to the floor... and Eddy sees an opportunity.
SB: Atta girl, Melissa!
BB: How could you root for them?
SB: Its THEIR show, Buckleys... not yours!
BB: Love rolls out of the ring... (Melissa looks into the cameras eye and says "Now youll see why they call him The Love Machine!") and he has Eli, and rolls him back into the ring. Kick... kick... Eddy Love is starting to punish The King of-
SB: The King of Retards!
BB: Sammy... didnt you learn from Gertner last week? Keep the harsh comments down... Eddy whips Eli into the corner- Eli bounces off- EDDY LOVE WITH A RELEASED GERMAN SUPLEX!
SB: HA! Eddy Love RULES... every match, he breaks out something new from his arsenal.
BB: Eddy stomps on Eli one more time... now- (the crowd starts to get up on its feet.) LOVE IS SETTING UP THE TABLE! He lays out Eli on it... and Love- (Eddy points at his crotch) LOVE IS CLIMBING TO THE TOP!
SB: THIS IS IT! THIS IS IT!
BB: Love is going to- (the crowd erupts) WAIT! THATS- THATS- THATS STEVE RADDER! THATS STEVE RADDER! STEVE RADDER IS ON THE APRON AND HES DISTRACTING LOVE! ELIS GETTING UP!
SB: NO! This should be a DQ!
BB: ELI PUNCHES LOVE ONCE- TWICE... FLAIR ON THE TOP ROPE... SUPERPLEX THROUGH THE TABLE! 1....2.....3! ELI FLAIR WINS!
SB: No! No! That was a TOTAL rip-off!
BB: Eli Flair won, with an assist from Steve Radder... no love lost there, between him and Love!
SB: Oh, Radders going to get hurt because of this... TRUST me.
BB: Fans, we'll be back....
IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS
BB: Sammy have you composed yourself enough to go on. It just hasn't been Eddy's night, there's nothing wrong with that. He'll bounce back.
SB: Oh don't patronize me like some kid who's watched his favorite sports team lose in the playoffs. I'm a professional, a born winner..like Eddy Love! (starts to tear up) That kid's gonna be alright, he'll make it just fine in the world...I....I raised him the best I could.
BB: That's always nice to see...a professional have an emotional break down in the middle of a PPV.
SB: Stuff it Buckley.
BB: Just moments ago Eli Flair may have ended Eddy Love's chance at recapturing the World title, he's on the board with 20 points and two matches to go. Kevin Powers is another with 20 pts, and he looks to tie Deacon, who is in the lead, here with a win. With no further delay, Rhubarb if you please..
(Cue Up: The Gregorian Chant)
RJ: Being led to the ring by his manager, The Shepherd... standing at an amazing seven feet and one inch, weighing in at 325 pounds... this is.... DEACON...
(The lights dim, with the exception of a single spotlight on the curtain... and Deacon and Shepherd emerge. Deacon's face is covered by his robes... but the reaction of the fans is spectacular... They get to the ring, and Deacon removes his robes...)
(Cue Up: "(Cant You) Trip Like I Do" by Filter and The Crystal Method.)
RJ: Coming to the ring is a former CSWA United States champion, and one-half of the tag team champions of the world.
(Powers comes out of the curtain, the smug grin on his face.)
RJ: He hails from... well, wherever HE wants to... ladies and gentlemen, this is KEVVIINNN POWWERRRSSS.
(Powers climbs through the ropes and starts to mock Deacon. Rhubarb excuses himself from their presence)
BB: A win here could all but win the title for Deacon, or at the very least assure himself of being in some sort of tiebreaker. Powers needs to win to say alive.
SB: Survive and advance Buckley, survive and advance. Where's Judy with my nachos? Man alive, Buckley can't we hire anyone who listens.
::bell rings two times::
BB: Apparently not. Underway, and it's Deacon who locks up with Powers and lifts him straight up over his head!! Powers fears what's coming up next, PRESS SLAM! With relative ease he scooped Powers right off his feet!
SB: He's a freak like that.
BB: Deacon pushes Powers against the ropes then whips across the ring, Kevin tries a Thez press but Deacon stops him in mid-flight....adjusts him a touch, and delivers quite a powerslam! Sammy, the ring moved a couple of inches on that one.
SB: No, that was your hair piece. Call the match, and stop worrying you still look fine. (Benson laughs)
BB: Deacon off the ropes, drops an elbow but Powers slips out of the way. While the big back is on his back, Powers takes advantage, stomping away repeatedly. Powers with a headlock on the mat. Good idea to try and tire his opponent.
SB: Forget the sleeper, use a choke Kevin. Choke the life out of the Mighty Monk.
BB: Wasn't that a children's show at one point?
SB: Judgment Buckley, use good comic judgment.
BB: Sorry. Deacon with ease up on his feet, Powers still has a hold of that headlock...Deacon with one arm under Kevin lifts him in the air.....belly to back drop! Deacon's going for a FIGURE 4! I've never seen this move attempted by a man of that size.
SB: I won't touch that one.
BB: Deacon almost has it hooked, but Powers rakes the eyes and he's forced to break it. Kevin to his feet first and he guides Deacon into the corner. That would have been something to see, for sure.
(Powers begins to wail away in the corner, hitting Deacon with everything he's got:)
BB: Deacon stunned by a few of those shots from Powers. Kevin steps up on the middle turnbuckle and now he's firing away at Deacon's head! You can hear the impact of those nasty left hands.
SB: That's because we're a mere 5 feet away you goob.
BB: Easy, Biscuits. Deacon wraps his arms around the legs of Powers and takes a few steps out before dropping him over his knee! Any celebration plans Kevin had for the night, might have just gone bye-bye.
SB: Cheap groin shot. Normally, I would approve...oh heck I still do.
BB: Deacon bounces off the ropes and drops Powers with a clothesline! Here's a cover...
(Worthington counts to 2)
BB: Powers kicks out! Deacon reaches down with one hand to bring Powers to his feet. Standing dropkick, that levels "Good Gawd"! The agility by the Deacon is breathtaking. A man that size who's able to move with such grace, it's a sight to behold.
SB: Yeah, it fills my heart with joy that I couldn't even begin to describe.
(Deacon has a hold of Kevin's legs...he drops to the mat and vaults Powers flying into the corner)
BB: Powers face first into the turnbuckle! Deacon rushes in, with a huge boot the the face! Kevin Powers has had no chance to mount any sort of offense in this match. Dominated by Deacon thus far. Deacon, vertical suplex! Again a cover, for 60 pts...ONE............TWO..............AND A HALF! How close was that?! We're seeing the dismantling of Kevin Powers tonight....will anyone stop Deacon!? Can they?
SB: We can only sit and pray.
BB: Deacon back to work, whips Powers across the ring, he scoops him up on the rebound....and drops him with a side slam! That's a lot of weight making it's imprint on Powers' chest. Deacon covers, one more time..
(Worthington with 2 and a half)
SB: NO! (Sammy begins to pray again)
BB: Powers showing his heart, stays alive. Nice to know he has one. Kevin Powers has gotta do something quick or he'll be finished in a matter of no time. With that Powers kicks Deacon in the mid-section. "Good Gawd" tries a DDT, but he couldn't get Deacon down!
SB: Go back to the groin!!
BB: Deacon lifts his head up and Powers with it....he wants the WORLD TITLE tonight! POWERSLAM! Another. Powers is dead weight! Deacon covers and hooks the leg... it's over, Sammy.
(Worthington gets to 2 and 3/4 before Powers has his left shoulder up)
BB: I thought that was it! So did Deacon! Powers slowly to his knees, as Deacon heads to the top turnbuckle. We can only guess as to what's coming next. He hasn't be able to finish off "Good Gawd" yet... extreme measures try but if he nails a move from that height..
SB: it's over.
BB: Thank you. Powers to his feet....
(Deacon leaps off, but Kevin grabs Ben Worthington and pulls him in front of Deacon)
BB: Powers threw Worthington into Deacon's way! Both men down....Deacon shakes it off and stands to see Worthington out. Kevin was about to go down and he...
SB: Came up with a better game plan. Cheat to win, Buckley. I love it.
(Powers turns his back to Deacon and reaches into his tights for a pair of brass knuckles)
BB: Powers reaching into his tights, he's got a foreign object! He takes a swing at Deacon, but Deacon blocks it!! Deacon has Powers by the throat....
(Shepherd tries to wake Worthington)
BB: He lifts Powers up, this might be a chokeslam!!
SB: Does the fun ever stop?!
(As Deacon has Powers up, Kevin throws the brass knuckles over Deacon's head)
BB: CHOKESLAM BY DEACON!! That's gotta be it!!! Deacon covers, Worthington rolls over... 1.....2...
(Worthington calls for the bell)
BB: DEACON'S WON IT!! DEACON has defeated Kevin Powers!!!!
(Worthington raises Powers' hand)
BB: What??!!! I don't understand..
SB: The brass knuckles...he spotted the Knucks and disqualified the DEACON!! HA! That just goes to show that crime doesn't pay!
(The Shepherd tries to explain things to Worthington. Powers slips out of the ring and heads to the back:)
BB: Powers wins it by DQ, and picks up 10 pts raising him to 30 pts..and he stays alive in the hunt of the World Title! I'm shocked.
SB: Don't be, Buckley. Powers went to plan B and picked up any points he could...smart man! Not as smart as Eddy Love, but a smart man.
(Rhubarb Jones announces the next match over the loudspeaker)
IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS
BB: Deja Vu all over again, wouldn't you say, Sammy? Eli Flair against Deacon. Like last year's World Title Tournament... only this time, there are less men involved and more prestige at stake.
SB: So... it's the same, only DIFFERENT. Very good, Buckley. Did you figure it out on your own? Let's just let the two men WRESTLE, damnitt!
BB: Sammy! Deacon and Eli are now circling each other... and this match has great significance for both men! Deacon currently leads the Ironman with 40 points, but with his victory over Eddy Love , Eli can tie it up right here! That's the beauty of this sort of contest, Sammy! You never know what can happen until it does!
SB: Buckley... stop. Just call the match. Leave the hyperbole to me.
BB: They lock up... and both men hold their ground! Sammy, I've been VERY impressed by the big men in this tournament, referring to Flair, Deacon, and Kevin Powers!
SB: All three of those men have faced off against the Worm already... but Flair was out- EXTREMED. That's gotta be weighing on his head, wouldn't you say?
BB: Perhaps... but the victory against Eddy Love has got to give him a confidence boost. They lock up again... and Flair sends Deacon into the ropes! Shoulderblock... NEITHER MAN GOES DOWN! And we've got a staredown in the middle of the ring!
SB: If looks could kill...
BB: There's no love lost between these two men... especially with Eli's proclamation that only HE can "Finish the Game." I wonder what that means, and if we'll get a preview of Windham's "Awakening" with Eli Flair!
SB: Please... Flair might be unbalanced, but he's not as insane as the Windhams.
BB: Flair grabs Deacon's arm, and sends him into the ropes! Flair with a drop toe hold! Deacon's head hits hard, and Flair follows up with... a side headlock?
SB: What's the King of Extreme doing?
BB: He appears to be mat wrestling, Sammy. Something I understand he's VERY accomplished at.
SB: So what? He should spill some Holy Blood.
BB: You're going to hell.
SB: Eh, I've got nothing to do later.
BB: Deacon climbing back to his feet... and he picks Flair up with a side suplex! Eli Flair is over three hundred pounds, and he picked him up like nothing! Deacon follows up with an elbowdrop! The cover, 1.........2............NO! Flair kicks out with authority! And a headbutt for Deacon's attempts! Where's Flair's heart?
SB: If Flair has a heart it turned black years ago... Why else would he have turned his back on his sister-in-law?
BB: Sammy! You know very well that it was Poison Ivy herself that ended their business relationship... truth to tell, I think it's eating Eli up inside.
SB: Whatever... I still think he's to blame.
BB: Eli has made his way to the corner... and he pulls Deacon up by the hair! Deacon is still stunned from that headbutt... Flair pulls Deacon up, both men standing on the top turnbuckle... Flair hooks the arm... SUPERPLEX FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE!
SB: That's gotta hurt..
BB: Flair is out as is Deacon, but Eli crawls over...and slings an arm over the big man! We're gonna have a tie for first place in the IRONMAN!
SB: I hope so, this tournament is longer than a Drew Barrymore film festival!
BB: Worthington with the count, 1.................2........................NO!! I don't believe it! Deacon managed to put his right leg on the bottom rope!
SB: I'm convinced this tournament will never end!
BB: You might be right Sammy, both men want this win so badly! For Flair, he can pull into first place and have a legitimate shot at his first major World Title! For Deacon, a victory here would solidify his lead and make HIM the champion! Deacon recovers before Flair does... and hooks an anklelock submisson!
SB: If he gets it, it's over!
BB: HE GETS FLAIR OVER! Eli is a good distance away from the ropes... what can he do?
SB: Give up?
BB: Those words are NOT in this man's vocabulary!
SB: Cry me a river, Buckley...he just wasn't man enough to finish the job!
BB: Flair... turns into it? FLAIR ESCAPES! He turned into the ankle lock, and was able to roll out! He runs into the ropes... Deacon grabs him and sends him in the opposite direction... Backdrop... NO! Flair with a flying DDT! Deacon is down!
SB: I've had a lot of problems in this Ironman... now I've got yet another. The Mute Freak... or Captain Schitzo?
BB: Deacon is out cold...by the ropes....Flair on the other side of the ring, trying to pull himself up!
SB: Deacon's showing some signs of life... Flair gets to him... SINGLE LEG TAKEDOWN! Deacon was playing possum! He's got Flair down!
SB: And on the third day...
BB: Stop it, Sammy! Deacon sets Flair up... Belly to Belly suplex! NO! Flair hooked Deacon's head! IMPLANT DDT! There's the cover, 1.........2.................3! NO! Flair couldn't hold him!
(fans go nuts... some cheer, some boo... but NONE are silent.
SB: Oh dear mother of Gook... Here we go.
BB: JESSE SOLOMON? What's HE doing here? We heard from him earlier... apparently he's not going to let things be between himself and Flair, even though Flair won that Battle Royal FAIR AND SQUARE.
SB: So? Tell HIM that. He looks a bit pissed, Buckley. Just wait until their eyes meet...
BB: Flair has Deacon set up for the Total Elimination... there it is. He saw him, Sammy... and he's heading to the ropes!
SB: They're arguing... and Solomon is keeping Flair's head out of the match. All the while, Mute is getting a chance to recover. I'm no Eli fan... but this is NOT FAIR to Flair!
BB: Solomon is taunting Eli... trying to get him to abandon his match and come outside! DEACON FROM BEHIND! 1...........2............NO! Deacon with a roll up almost stole this matchup, and the World Title, right from under Eli's nose!
SB: Flair is mad now...
BB: Deacon apparently didn't realize that Eli was distracted... and he's giving Flair a chance to get back up!
BB: Flair back to his feet... and he sends himself off the ropes! Deacon misses a clothesline... NO! Solomon wrestles Shepherd's crook away from him... THE CROOK TO THE BACK OF FLAIR! ELI GOES DOWN HARD! Ben Worthington is telling Solomon to leave the ringside area!
SB: Here comes the Religious Right!
BB: Deacon is down on the floor... and he's moving toward Solomon! I don't care how arrogant that young man can be... you do NOT mess with the Deacon. NO! Flair is back up, and he slingshots himself over the top rope onto Solomon! FLAIR UNLOADING WITH A FLURRY OF FISTS! Deacon backs away and checks on Shepherd, who doesn't seem to be seriously hurt!
SB: Solomon, on the other hand...
BB: Jesse Solomon gives about a hundred pounds, and EASILY, six inches, to Flair... and he's paying for his interference! NO! Solomon with a thumb to the eyes, and Flair backs off!
SB: Uh- oh... Solomon is picking up that chair... and his target is...
BB: SHEPHERD! Get out of there! Shepherd has stood in front of Flair! Solomon swings that chair! NO! Deacon dove in front! Deacon sacrificed himself for Shepherd's well being! And I think Solomon connected rather well... as Deacon is OUT ON HIS FEET! And he's down!
SB: I think Solomon just cost Flair the gold.
BB: Ben Worthington is yelling at Solomon to get away from the ringside... its' not like him to let things go this far! But Flair saw what happened to Deacon... FOOTBALL TACKLE ON SOLOMON! And Flair sends Solomon into the ring!
SB: Time to take your medicine, boy!
BB: Solomon off the ropes... and the lighter rookie hits a dropkick on Eli! Flair is down to one knee, but he's right back up! Solomon off again... NO! Hip toss by Flair... and Solomon crashes through Pedro and Eduardo's Spanish Broadcasting Table!
SB: Do we even pay them?
BB: Flair now on the outside, trying to get Deacon back into the ring! He can't have a realistic shot at the gold with only ten points for the countout!
BB: Flair is lifting the best he can... and he's got Deacon up! He's got the big man up, and he rolls him back into the ring! Flair follows, but he doesn't go for the cover! Worthington tells him to wrestle or be counted!
SB: So cover him!
BB: Flair is arguing, telling Worthington that Solomon cost Deacon the match! Worthington doesn't want to hear it, though! This is the IRONMAN! Six men who want to be the World Champion at ANY COST! Flair seems reluctant... but he scoops Deacon and hits him with a belly- to- belly suplex! There's the cover, 1...........2.................3! Flair wins it, and ties the IOC standings at 40 points... but there's PLENTY of controversy in this one! Jesse Solomon wanted to cost Flair the title, but he ended up doing the exact opposite! Deacon's night is done....he finishes with forty points, but with Eli tied at 40, and this loss, Deacon has been mathematically eliminated!
IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS
(CUE UP: "All Star" by Smashmouth. The crowd immediatly starts to boo, and the fireworks go off. Hornet walks out the aisle, wearing his black shorts that say "Champ" on the back of them. Hornet calls the camera to close in on him, and he says in it "T...C...B" real methodically. Hornet slowly walks to the ring, not noticing the boos reigning down on him. CUE UP: "(Cant You) Trip Like I Do?" by Filter and the Crystal Method. As soon as it starts, the crowd erupts. "Good God" Kevin Powers comes through the curtain- and he raises a fist in the air. Powers points at Hornet, and then starts to walk to the ring... limping slightly.)
BB: Kevin Powers has won a LOT of people over tonight... he might not walk out of here the champion, but hes going to walk out of here in a new phase of his career! But Powers has been favoring that knee since hs match earlier wih Vizzack. Pee Wee calls for the- OH! HORNET WITH A LOW LEVEL DROPKICK RIGHT TO GOOD GODS KNEE WHEN HE WASNT LOOKING! KEVIN POWERS IS SCREAMING!
SB: (laughing) HA! Joe Theisman, eat your heart out!
BB: I think Kevin Powers might have some ligament damage, the way hes holding his knee. Troutman might want to stop- Hornets got the knee, kicking and wrenching it...
SB: And Taking Care of Business.
BB: Troutman is in Hornets face, backing him off... Powers is in the corner, pulling himself up.
SB: Bad move, Powers!
BB: HORNET CHARGES- THE PATENTED HORNET SPLASH IN THE CORNER! Powers is hurt, and hurt BAD!
SB: Weve seen this for what, the past 11 years? Hornet tearing up the opposition?
BB: Yes, we have, Sammy... and wasnt it for the past 10 years you HATED this man? Hornets grabbing the leg- and he snaps it foreward... hes GOT to be going for the Scorpion.
SB: You think, Buckley?
BB: Hornet wisely dragging Powers to the middle of the ring... hes got the legs grapevin- NO! Powers is wriggling- and he reaches the ropes. Hornet has to bre- POWERS WITH A KICK TO THE GROIN! (The crowd ERUPTS!) Hornet is DOWN!
SB: And sterile! (The crowd starts to rhythmically clap.)
BB: Powers is climbing on the ropes... ("Pow-ers... Pow-ers...") Kevins getting up... and HES A HOUSE ON FIRE!
SB: And youre a cliche a second!
BB: Powers has Hornet by the head... he whips him in- BIG CLOSELINE! Powers gets up first- lifts Hornet again- whips him in- charges- WOW! BIG SPLASH BY POWERS! He has Hornet- ELBOW TO THE FACE! Powers is measuring him up... AGAIN! And hes measuring him up again... A THIRD ELBOW TO THE FACE! (Powers lets out an "ARRRRRRR") Powers is signaling for it, The Power Outage... Hornets getting up... Powers bounces off the ropes- kick to the stomach... Hornets bent over. This is it- this is it- Powers hoists him up- NO! NO! OH NO! KEVIN POWERS KNEE JUST WRENCHED!
SB: HA! Thats too funny too be true...
BB: Hornet knows its in his control now... one of those crippling short dropkicks to the knee of Kevin Powers... and now he has it hooked- and turns it over, no questions asked! SCORPION DEATHLOCK!!! Troutmans asking Powers... Troutman calls for the bell, Kevin Powers is in too much pain.
SB: Hornet, he might be old, but hes still got the heart of ice.
BB: Again... thats confusing, Sammy... are you drunk? Wait, yeah- of course you are... Hornet saw the advantage, and he took it... well be back.
(CUT TO: The podium, where Bill Buckley and Sammy Benson are
located. Buckleys looking at his notes, reading them like the professional he is.
Benson, as usual, is noticeably tipsy.)
BB: Up next, folks, is the final match in the IRONMAN for these two men, and its a match that many, many people have been waiting for.
SB: The match has been replaced by Poison Ivy wrestling her emotions for me?
BB: No, Sammy. It hasnt. Lets just watch the tape, and get caught up to speed on whats going on.
(FADE IN: A black screen, that gets split into two. On the left side of the screen, theres a facial shot of Eddy Love, sweat dripping off his brow, his lips curled into a smug smile. On the right, theres a shot of Good God Kevin Powers. This is a full-body shot of Powers, smiling, the light reflecting in his goatee. Hes got on a singlet over his leather pants, and the singlet reads PLR. CUE UP: The voice of Rudy Seitzer.
RS: Eddy Love and Kevin Powers. For months now, the two have become synonymous with each other, and greatness. Whether its tag titles, World titles, or just causing a scene wherever they go, The Powers of Love have been a dominating force in the CSWA. (CUT TO: A black and white promo picture of the Powers of Love, Eddy leaping into Kevins arms, holding up both tag straps. Then, the picture bursts in an explosion.)
RS: In recent weeks, however, that force has been challenged... be each others quests to become the next CSWA World Champion.
(CUT TO: A shot of the match from June 26, in Tampa. Kevin Powers is taking on the team of Bobby Jackson and The Crippler by himself. Hes going through them, a look of anger on his face as he turns to the corner and sees no one there. CUT TO: A shot later in the match, of Eddy Love, smiling deviously at ringside.)
RS: Eddy Love, the master of deception. Kevin Powers, a man who has had his his life torn from him by the tragedies of his valets... Gina and Susan.
(CUT TO: A black and white shot of all three, in happier times. CUT TO: The original black and white shot of Eddy Love and Kevin Powers.)
RS: Tonight, from the Merritt Auditorium in Greensboro, North Carolina... what will be the Revelation of the question... Who is the better man? Eddy Love... or Kevin Powers?
IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS
(CUT TO: The packed arena, bugging out, making a lot of noise. Rhubarb Jones is in the ring, wearing his white tux.)
RJ: (The bell rings three times.) Ladies and gentleman... this is it, this is what you have been waiting for. (The crowd starts standing up, making a lot of noise.)
(CUE UP: Whole Lotta Love by Led Zep. As soon as the song starts, the crowd immediately boos. The camera shoots the curtain, and Sweet Melissa comes out. Shes wearing a tight, black sundress, looking devilishly into the camera. She points over her head, and strutting out to the music comes Eddy Love. Loves hair is flowing, and Melissa begins stroking it. Eddys got on a T-Shirt over his tights- its a plain white T-Shirt, with the CSWA World Title air-brushed around his stomach. As they walk to the ring, someone in the crowd throws a wadded piece of paper at them.)
RJ: Led to the ring by the beautiful Sweet Melissa... is a former CSWA World Champion, and one-half of the current tag team champions. Hailing from wherever he wants to... this is The HURRRIIICAANNNEEE.... EDDDY LOOOOOVVVVEEEE.
(The boos from the crowd are coming in. Sweet Melissa is applauding for her man, who is raising his hands in triumph on the second turnbuckle. He takes off his T-Shirt, and hes wearing blue trunks that say LOVE in script over a pink heart on his butt.
(CUE UP: (Cant You) Trip Like I Do by Filter and The Crystal Method. As soon as it begins, the crowd starts to applaud wildly. Rudy seems taken aback by that, not used to hearing cheers for Powers.)
RJ: Coming to the ring is a former CSWA United States champion, and one-half of the tag team champions of the world.
(Powers comes out of the curtain, limping. CUT TO: A sign in the crowd that reads The Powers of the World Champ! Powers is wearing a grey singlet that reads KP over a triangle, his customary black leather pants. He points at the ring, and gestures for the title.)
He hails from... well, wherever HE wants to, as well... ladies and gentlemen, this is KEVVIINNN POWWERRRSSS.
(Powers is on the ring apron, and he raises his right arm to the crowd. He hops into the ring, and him and Love stare at each other. Jones climbs out of the ring.)
BB: Kevin Powers and Eddy Love, facing each other... this ones going to be really hard to call. For all intensive purposes, Eddy Love is out of the hunt for the World Title here tonight....but I don't know if that matters for him at this moment.
SB: It's all about Eddy, Buckley. And at this moment, it's all about Eddy taking away Powers' chance to become the World Champion. And later....it'll be time for Eddy to show the world how to put Radder on the Rocks one more time.
BB: Howd I guess... (The bell rings. The crowd is still on their feet, clapping away.) People here seem to have really rallied behind Powers. But the big question is, can Powers' knee hold out through this match. If it can, he's got a chance to be the World Champion.
SB: Because these fans dont know the meaning of a word... a word called Love.
BB: Eddy and Kevin circling each other... Powers has the size and strength advantage, but Love is a great mat technician, and is also very, very devious. Powers is trying to get Love to lock up with him, and Love is going for it. Powers has Love- and he just tosses him to the floor. (The crowd pops.) Love gets up- hes pointing to Pee Wee Troutman that Powers pulled him by his hair!
SB: Hey, hes got a point- hes got great hair. Powers cant keep his fingers out of it!
BB: Powers is up again, and hes calling for Love to try and power each other again- no, Love ducks under and around into a waistlock. Powers is looking for a way out, he elbows Love in the face, and again. Powers into the ropes, Love ducks a closeline, Powers bounces off the ropes, Love with a single leg takedown. Now, he just paintbrushes Powers in the back of his skull-- there was no need for that.
SB: Oh yeah, Buckley? Look at Powers, how mad he is, as Love ducks into the ropes! (Love starts laughing at what he did as Melissa claps for him.)
BB: Eddy Love is a complete and total jerk--
SB: Yeah, but hes a jerk who wins!
BB: Love is back in the ring, and WHAM- Powers just slugged Eddy! The ref is trying to stop Powers from doing tha-- MAN! Powers is UNLOADING on Eddy Love! He has Love in the corner- Elbow in the face. Powers has the ropes for leverage- WHAM! Another elbow to Eddy Loves face.
SB: Melissa must be hurting, to have her mans face banged up like that... she can always have mine, though!
BB: Powers has Love up- Suplex! Thats gotta hurt coming from almost seven feet in the air!
SB: Powers is so big... but remember, the bigger they come, the more Eddy Love humiliates them!
BB: Powers is picking Love up the ground- NO! Love with a headful of hair into a roll-up... 1.....2.....No! Kevin Powers barely kicked out of that one. Both men up- Eddy Love with a thump to the eye!
SB: Thats a jumping thumb to the eye, Buckley. Very technically fluent, Love is.
BB: Love wraps around Powers and has him- half nelson. Hes got Powers right leg grapevined... He hoists him in the air and DOWN! That was a belly-to-back suplex, down onto the prone body of Powers. Love gets up, and hes laying the boots to Powers. He has Powers left leg- DOWN with an elbow. Now he has Powers leg again, and he wraps it with his- HE TURNS IT INTO AN STF! He has Powers chin locked up...and this could be all she wrote for Kevin Powers!!!
SB: Eddy Love is simply the best wrestler in the world today, because of moves like that.
BB: Love knows Kevin Powers, knows his strengths and weaknesses. He knows that the longer this one goes, the more Powers is on the mat, the more likely he is to win. Powers is reaching for the ropes, but hes about six inches away.
SB: Look at Eddy grind his knuckles into Kevins nose. Thats gotta be even more aggravating.
BB: Powers has the ropes, and Eddy has to break- 1,2,3- he wont even break for his fellow tag champion. Eddy is told to back off by the ref and- Melissa has Kevin Powers by the hair and is pulling down across the ropes! Come on, thats not right. Theyre supposed to be allies.
SB: Melissa knows to protect her meal tick- wait, I mean man...
BB: Of course you do, Sammy. The ref sees Melissa, and she stops. Love drops across Kevins back... and he has Kevin up. He whips him to the ropes...NO....reversal by Powers! Powers with a boot to the face! Love goes reeling (The crowd pops) and Powers is down on a knee, getting his wind back. He scoops Love up- bodyslam! He has him up again for another bodyslam- NO! He hoists Love up... guerilla press! Powers runs with Eddy Love... HE DROPS EDDY LOVE TO THE FLOOR! WHAT A MOVE! Listen to this crowd!
SB: What a bunch of scrubs these people are... they didnt cheer for Powers a week ago!
BB: A week ago doesnt matter, Sammy. This is it- this is ANNIVERSARY! Powers is out to the floor. Melissa is protecting Eddy- look at her, begging Kevin to not go after Love.
SB: Begging on her hands and knees, Buckley... I kinda like that.
BB: You would... Powers asks the crowd- he lifts Melissa up out of the way- WHAM! Eddy Love capitalizes on Kevin turning his back, with a shot to the crotch! That was a complete and total low blow!
SB: Yeah, a SMART low blow, though.
BB: Eddy with an uppercut to Kevins face. And another... Now he has Powers... and he whips him into the rail! Pee Wee Troutmans out now, and hes demanding that they bring it back to the ring. Eddy mugs for the crowd (A lot of boos reign down on Eddy, who is more than happy to hear them. Melissa is over, and she is rubbing Eddys back.)
SB: Eddys sure taking control of this match, now. Bringing Eddy into the ring is just HANDING him the gold.
BB: Powers is getting up slowly, and hes getting through the ropes- WHOOMPH. Hes met with a knee from Love. Eddy has Powers and whips him- NO! He short-armed him with a knee. He wraps around- Russian Leg Sweep! Hes stomping away on Kevin, and now he drops a fist down on him.
SB: I told you, Buckley. Its ALL about Eddy now.
BB: It just might be... Eddy has Powers up by the head... he drops to a knee, and lifts Powers up- No! The big man sneaks around. He puts his big forearm around Eddys neck- BIG forearm that wallops Eddy. Now, he has Eddy up on his shoulder-- (Eddy kicks, screaming NO!) Eddy drops behind. Eddy leans in- Powers catches him by the neck and hoists him up-- CHOKESLAM CITY! Eddy Love is reeling! This crowd is on its feet. Kevin is slow- hes on top of Eddy. This could be it... 1...2...NO! Eddy BARELY got his shoulder up!
SB: Itll take a lot more than that to beat Eddy Love!
BB: (The crowd starts clapping rhythmically.) Listen to this crowd. Powers has Eddy up again- Atomic drop! Eddys in pain, CLOTHESLINE from Powers! He rolls on top- 1..2...NO! Again, Love barely gets up! Powers lifts Eddy up-- Clothesline, NO! Eddy ducks! Powers with a quick kick to Eddys stomach- HE HOISTS HIM UP-- POWERBOMB!!! EDDY LOVE FELL RIGHT ON HIS NECK! Powers on Eddy Love... 1....2....EDDY LOVE PUTS A FOOT ON THE ROPE! Both guys have had so much taken out of them...
SB: Eddy Love is so smart... look at him playing possum like this. Hes just toying with Powers.
BB: Are we even watching the same match? That offensive burst from Powers took a lot out of both men... Both guys are getting to their feet. Eddys up first, somehow-
SB: Hes RESILIENT, Buckley...
BB: He is, yes... and he axe-handles Powers right in the back. He drops it again... Eddy has control of Powers and whips him into the ropes... knee to the stomach. Now he wraps around to the side of Powers... he has him up- OH MAN! (The crowd lets out a collective OOOOHH) Eddy Love just his a Belly-to-Back Suplex, and he DROPPED down so quickly that Powers nailed his head.
SB: Eddy Love is filled with these moves, Buckley. Thats why hes the odds on favorite to win this thing!
BB: Eddy not going for the cover... he has Powers, whips him to the corner. He hits a closeline on Powers who staggers- Eddy hops to the second rope- BULLDOG!
SB: Always something new from the Hurricane!
BB: Eddy with the cover- 1...2...NO! He cant believe it. Love now has Kevin up... SHOULDERBREAKER! Eddy quickly moves to the leg- elbow to the knee! Again! Eddy yells something to Melissa- (CUT TO: A shot of Melissa holding up 4 fingers) FIGURE FOUR! Eddy Love has the figure four hooked, and Powers is in pain!
SB: And Powers is nowhere near the ropes! What ring positioning by Eddy.
BB: Eddy has it cinched in-- Pee Wee Troutman is checking if Powers is going to give. Eddy reaches back- MELISSA HAS HIS HAND! MELISSA IS GRABBING BACK FOR EXTRA LEVERAGE! Powers is SCREAMING in pain, but he refuses to give up! The Scorpion may have been too much earlier...but he knows that if gives this time...his World Title hopes are OVER.
SB: Love has targeted his knee all night, and its going to pay off for him when Powers gives up.
BB: Powers is SCREAMING in pain. Love must really be damaging the big mans knee... Good God Kevin Powers is in AGONY in there... Love is reaching up to the second rope... Powers is pound in the mat, but hes saying that he wont give up.
SB: What an idiot this guy is... he should save himself now and go home, he's still one-half of the Unified Tag Champs.
BB: Kevin Powers has a thing called pride, Sammy, something you dont know a thing about. (The crowd is clapping, starting slower, and getting louder and faster.) These people are rallying behind Kevin... Love drops the second rope as Troutman was turning around... Pee Wee again asking if Powers wants to give up- Love again reaching for the ropes- TROUTMAN CATCHES HIM! (The crowds cheering.) Troutmans counting for Love to give it up- 1,2,3,4- Love lets go of the hold. However, that figure four HAD to have taken a lot out of Kevin Powers.
SB: Eddy Love CLINCHED victory with that move.
BB: That remains to be seen... Powers is trying to get on his feet... and Love is measuring him up- he STOMPS on that knee. Again, he stomps on the knee. Love turns and is signaling to the crowd that this over... Powers is grabbing the ropes, climbing up back to his feet. Love turns- Powers chops him! (The crowd is cheering ever chop.) Again! And another chop! Eddy Love is reeling- Powers puts Love in the corner- BOOM! Those trademark elbow smashes in the corner.
SB: Where is Powers getting this from? All these weeks, hes been carried by Love, I didnt know he had this in him!
BB: Powers whips Love to the opposite corner and follows- WALLOPS him with a closeline. Love is on the ground... Powers is raising his fist in the air...
SB: NO! Hes not!
BB: Powers has Love in position, hes going for the Power Outage SlingShot Powerbomb... He hoists Love up-
BB: LOVE HOOKS POWERS WITH HIS LEG, AND TAKES HIM OVER TO THE FLOOR! LOVE HOLDS ONTO THE ROPES, AND SWINGS BACK TO THE RING! (The crowd is bugging out from that move, not believing what they just saw. A small Eddy chant begins from the upper deck, where the hardcore fans sit.)
SB: Eddy Love shows why hes the best... Look at Powers on the ground. Hes GOTTA give up.
BB: Powers is holding his knee, and hes walking, limping, trying to work his knee out.
SB: Both men have been going at it so hard... but that move ended it right there. Powers knee MUST have ligament damage from that fall to the ring.
BB: You might be right, Sammy... both guys are trying to get their second winds--
SB: More like third or fourth winds--
BB: Powers is on the apron, and Love comes after- Powers with a thumb to the eye, and he ducks- WHOOM- shoulder block to the stomach of Eddy Love. POWERS FLIPS OVER THE ROPES! SUNSET FLIP- ONE...TWO....THREE- NO! NO! NO! EDDY LOVE GOT THE SHOULDER UP! (The crowd was on its feet and thought there was a three count, and started cheering) Both men get up- EDDY LOVE ROLLS UP POWERS! ONE- TWO- THRE- NO! THE BIG MAN REVERSES IT! ONE-TWO-THRE- NO! LOVE KICKS OUT! Both men out- EDDIE LOVE SNEAKS BEHIND WITH A SCHOOLBOY! ONE-TWO-THRE- NO! POWERS MUSCLES LOVE OUT- HE REVERSES IT! ONE-TWO-THRE- AGAIN EDDY LOVE KICKS OUT!!! Both men are EXAUSTED, lying on the mat! (The crowd is on its feet, dying after all those near pins.)
SB: Oh man... Eddy Love almost won that match about 5 times right there... what a wrestler he is.
BB: Both guys are slowly getting up... they lock up.Powers has control- he whips Loveto the corner, no The Hurricane reverses it- OH NO! KEVIN POWERS JUST HIT REFEREE PEE WEE TROUTMAN! BOTH MEN GO DOWN!
SB: Eddy Love ALWAYS finds a way to win... and here it is!
BB: Love is BARKING commands to Sweet Melissa... she has a chair! She slides it in the ring to Eddy...
SB: Kevin Powers... prepare to meet defeat right here!
BB: Powers is trying to get up... Pee Wee Troutman is still down. Eddy Love is measuring him up... OH NO! Eddy Love just his Kevin Powers in the knee with that chair! Again with the chair to the knee! Powers is down- WHAM! ACROSS THE BACK WITH THE CHAIR! Melissa is trying to wake Troutman up... Powers is hurt... and Eddy Love is- NO! Hes signaling for it!
SB: ITS TIME FOR THE HURRICANE!
BB: Eddy Love has Kevin Powers up... THERE IT IS! THAT SPINNING HURRICANE PILEDRIVER!
SB: Thats it! Thats the best move in this sport today!
BB: Love hooks Powers leg... Troutman almost up... he goes over, he makes the count... (with the crowd singing along) One........Two......... Thre- NO! NO! NO! NO! (The crowd starts hopping mad up and down as Powers moved his left shoulder up right before Troutman counted three.) KEVIN POWERS SOMEHOW KICKED OUT! HE SOMEHOW GOT HIS SHOULDER UP! EDDY LOVE AND SWEET MELISSA CANT BELIEVE IT!
SB: What a con job! Eddy Love had Powers down for three!
BB: Eddy has Powers up and swings- Powers block and hits Eddy! Eddy swings again- Powers blocks and hits Eddy again! He hits Love again! He swings- NO! Love with a thumb to the eye. Love bounces off the ropes- NO! Powers with a kick to the stomach- KEVIN POWERS JUST PLANTED EDDY LOVES FACE ON THAT STEEL CHAIR WITH THE POWER ZONE! POWERS LAYS ON TOP OF EDDY LOVE! THIS IS IT! ONE... TWO...THREE- NO! NO! MELISSA PUT EDDY LOVES FOOT ON THE ROPE! EDDY LOVE ESCAPED A SURE LOSS! We're down to just under THREE minutes left in this one!!!
SB: What resiliency... Love and Melissa are SO smart. You can NEVER count Eddy Love out. NEVER!
BB: After tonight, I have to agree... no matter what you think about both these men, theyve given it their all... Powers is getting up... and so is Love. This crowd is on fire. (The crowd is clapping frenetically.) Both guys are up. Powers lunges- Love ducks the closeline. Powers with a kick to the stomach- HES GOING FOR THE POWERBOMB- NO! HIS KNEE! HIS KNEE! GOOD GOD CANT GET EDDY LOVE UP. Eddy Love is let go, and he bounces off the rope- POWERS WITH A KICK TO THE STOMACH AGAIN! He has Love- Hes going for the powerbomb again. LOVE HAS THE LEG HOOKED. HE BLOCKED THE HOLD! Powers now- hes underhooking his arms! Hes trying to lift him up butterfly style.
SB: He cant do it, Buckley! His knees too hurt. He couldnt do it normal style, and this has GOT to be harder.
BB: Powers is trying--listen to him scream! Love is STRUGGLING to block the hold. (Melissa is screaming at ringside. Kevin Powers lets out a DEAFENING yell, and he gets Eddy Love up.) POWERS HAS LOVE UP! HE- GOOD GOD!!! HE JUST PILEDROVE EDDY LOVE RIGHT ON HIS NECK! OH MY GOD! Powers is down, holding his knee. Powers lays on top... One....Two...THREEEEE! (The crowd goes ballistic, as firecrackers go off in the arena.) GOOD GOD KEVIN POWERS JUST WON! HE JUST BEAT HIS TAG TEAM PARTNER EDDY LOVE!
SB: No... Eddy didnt lose... I cant believe it.
BB: (As a replay of the finisher move is on the screen.) Powers saw Eddy Love blocking the powerbomb by holding his legs, so he muscled under and hooked the arms from behind... he tried to powerbomb him, but he didnt his knee gave and he dropped him right on his head... this match was absolutely... one of the most breathtaking, exhilirating and competitive matches weve ever seen in the CSWAs illustrious history.
SB: Kevin Powers was extremely lucky tonight... he somehow got passed Eddy Love.
(CUT TO: Powers rolling out of the ring as the crowd is cheering. A chant of Powers, Powers, Powers starts. Kevin stops in the aisle, looks around, and raises his fist in the air as the crowd erupts.)
BB: Good God Kevin Powers put a lot of his critics to bed tonight... he certainly won over much of the Merritt Auditorium.
SB: Luck, Buckley. Thats ALL it was.
BB: Kevin Powers moves up to fifty points, it remains to be seen if that will be enough to win him the championship...but title or not, he certainly proved he can beat ANYONE at any time. Kevin Powers is in the lead, Sammy, my friend.
(CUT TO: Sweet Melissa in the ring, as Eddy Love is getting up. Powers is done making his way to the back. After a few seconds, as Eddy Love gets to his feet, the crowd starts clapping.)
SB: What? NO ONE applauds Eddy Love as much as I do- especially not these goon fans.
BB: The crowd certainly has a lot of respect for Eddy Love. Say what you want about him, but Eddy Love ALWAYS gives it his all. This crowd certainly respects that quali- what- (Eddy Love is looking around at the crowd, taking in this rare applause given to him. Love looks around, and extends both of his middle fingers, and the crowd rings in with a chorus of boos.)
SB: HA! I love it!
BB: Eddy Love... of all the tasteless, disrespectful things... just when you think you can respect the man, he does something like this! The more things change-
SB: The more Eddy Love rules the wrestling world!
BB: By my count...we've only got two men who have a match left tonight. Either Kevin Powers, Eli Flair or Hornet will be the new CSWA World Heavyweight Champion.....and that's coming up NEXT! But first fans, well be back with the WINDHAMS!!!!!!!
(CUTTO: promo for the CSWA's website)
Windham vs. Mark Windham
BB: Sammy, it's not often we set aside a moment on the show and talk about the memories, and fun we've had over the last eleven years.
SB: Buckley this is the ANNIVERSARY PPV. Please tell me you realize what that means.
BB: Of course I do. My point is, it's hard to believe it's been eleven years. Time truly does fly.
SB: No, Buckley. Pigs fly, time just goes on. Which is why Marvin's motioning for you to kick to Rhubarb.
BB: Just once would it kill you to humor me?!
SB: Oh for the love of all that's good and pure! Rhubarb!
(Cut-to: Rhubarb Jones in the middle of the ring, looking only as he can look)
RJ: Ladies and Gentlemen....ARE YOU READYYYYYYYYYYYY?
SB: (To Buckley) Is it just me, or is that trademarked?
BB: All I ask is that ONCE you talk about time time we've spent together. The matches, the memories! Just ONCE!
SB: (patting Bill on the shoulder) We'll let the legal department worry bout that one.
RJ: FOR THE THOUSANDS IN ATTENDANCE AND THE...
SB: Oh for heaven's sake!
BB: It's not too much to ask!!! For crying out loud it is ANNIVERSARY!
SB: LET IT GO, BUCKLEY! LET IT GO!
BB: (grabbing on to Sammy's arm) I'll never let go, Sammy, I'll never let go!
(Sammy gives Buckley a worried look)
BB: (regaining his composure) Titantic reference, it's in my contract.
(Sammy shakes his head, and hits the ring)
RJ: MILLIONS WATCHING AT HO---
(Benson clips Rhubarb's knee. The fans go crazy, as Benson helps Rhubarb to his feet and sends him over the top rope)
::Fans go wild::
SB: (on house mic) For ELEVEN years I've waited for that!
::crowd chants "Sammy, Sammy":
SB: Folks what we're about to see here tonight, is two men who hate each other, two brothers, beat the living tar out of each other. Who here wants to see that?!
::fans tear the roof off::
SB: Then by the power vested in me, let's GET THE FREAKING SHOW ON THE ROAD! Hit Timmy's music!
(Cue Up: "The Muppet Theme" by Henson Productions)
(chorus of boos, as Timmy steps out from the curtains. He's wheeling Mickey Benedict down the aisle in a wheelchair)
SB: He's short, he never really gotten a good education, hey who in that family did right? And by Jove he loves his Kermy Doll! Timmy Windham folks, give him a hand.
::Timmy Windham parks Mickey next to the ring, and climbs through the ropes. Sammy backs off a bit, motioning to Timmy he was just kidding::
(Lights go out, and laser show begins.)
(Cue-up: "Unforgettable Fire" by U2)
::The fans go nuts as Windham and Sunshine enter through the curtain. Mark's wearing long black tights, black boots, and a sleeveless white t-shirt with a gray star on the front, with wording that reads "Lost Soul". Sunshine sports black boots, a white mini-skirt, and tank top. Both Windham and Sunshine have their hair pulled back:::
(Sammy skips the introduction and runs back to the booth)
BB: How many times will this make?
SB: Excuse me?
BB: You being fired. What's this a 4th now?
SB: It's a gift.
::Windham and Sunshine step into the ring, Windham half waves his hand in the air to salute the crowd::
(The lights flicker on, then off again)
(Seconds pass, when the lights come back on Sunshine is gone)
(Mark finally notices Mickey in his wheelchair on the outside. He stops cold in his tracks. Windham doesn't seem to even take a next breath, it's obvious Benedict's appearance has shaken him.)
::Mickey calls for a house mic, and receives one::
MB: (laughs) You just can't say the words can you. Two simple words, "I Quit". Your father couldn't say them either. Llike fool like son. Look where he's at Mark! Dead and buried, because of your da*n pride. Just as he destroyed his family on that (sarcastic tone) tragic night........you've torn apart yours. How's Thelma, son? How's it feel to see her only with a guardian at her side? I'm in a festive mood, Mark. I'll tell what I'm gonna do. With just one look, I can see the lesson was finally learned. Being the man I am, I'll offer you two choices. One, we can lower the cage that rests above the ring, and Timmy pick you apart piece by piece. Or, you can grab this mic and say "I Quit". Say it, and take your life back. What's left of it, what you haven't tossed away for the search. (laughs) Admit you were wrong, Mark. Save the memory of your father, and end the war between us.
MW: (with a mic in hand. He reaches in his tights and pulls out a pair of scissors) What's in my hand old man?
MB: (laughs) Boy, I might have unscrewed that head a little too much...you think?
MW: Answer me.
MB: (hesitates) A pair of scissors.
MW: It's the Truth, Benedict. It's what i used to cut the strings. Your puppet's wide awake. Now, Mickey, I'm the master. And I'll play you right back from where you came. Back to hell, with the sick, twisted demons that corrupted your mind.
(At that second, Sunshine appears from the crowd. She jumps the security railing and standing behind Mickey tilts the wheelchair and sends Mickey shooting out. He stands, amazing on his own two feet)
BB: (as the cage begins to lower) WHAT IN THE WORLD?!! BENEDICT....HE......he can walk Sammy!
::Mickey, embarrassed and furious rushes Sunshine. She leans back and delivers a roundhouse to his head. Staggered he steps back, Sunshine takes him by the neck and rolls him into the ring::
::Mark jumps Timmy from behind and handcuffs him to the ropes. The cage is down. Mickey's trapped inside::
BB: Listen to this place, Sammy!! Mickey's up, he's fighting like mad to get out of the cage!! IT'S WINDHAM/BENEDICT AT LAST!
SB: Everybody have fun tonight, everyone wang chung tonight. For this Buckley, I need a drink!
BB: Benedict turns in fear...and there's Windham 5 feet away staring him in the eyes! Timmy can't get out of the cuffs! What a plan by Windham, he's got Mickey one on one!
::Windham eyes the crowd then pops Benedict in the head::
SB: What a sick crowd on hand, Buckley. I'm disgusted by the fact that these idiots are cheering the beating of a 60 year old man!
BB: For what he's done to Windham, I'm right with'em.
::Mark sets Mickey up. With alarming ease, he powerbombs Mickey::
BB: Mickey's finished! It's payback tonight...and Mark's got time and the opportunity! Windham...helps Benedict to his feet.........TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!
SB: If he's not dead yet, he will be soon. (Benson turns to intern sitting next to him) Little more drink, please.
::Mark walks to the edge, and waits for Sunshine to slip a leather belt under the cage::
BB: Mickey is pretty well lifeless in the ring. Is he a part of this match?
SB: Who in the world knows, Buckley. Why don't you get in the cage, pour cold water over his face and ask him.
BB: No thanks. Mark with belt in hand makes his way to Timmy who's handcuffed to the top rope. Windham begins whipping Timmy at will! Hard, punishing strokes just ripping up Timmy's back! This is brutal to watch!
SB: Admit it, it's fun. It's like wrestling's version of the Dukes of Hazzard. You know the episodes where Bo and Luke fought were your favorite.
::Mark gives Timmy a few more lashes, before kicking him in the head::
BB: To the crowd's approval, Mark heads back over to Mickey. You very well may be right, Sammy. Benedict might be dead, but Windham at this point doesn't care. Mark drags him to the ropes, props up and begins whipping Mickey with the belt!
SB: Right about now, Buckley....Mickey wishes he would have gone to senior's bingo night instead.
::Mark tosses the belt away, grabs Mickey's head with one hand....and fires him into cage face first::
BB: Benedict staggers back....Mark catches him and again drives him into the cage! Right now, the Lost Soul is taking his time and measuring every blow. Leg drop by Windham, and he covers....but Worthington's not sure what to do.
SB: Count the pin moron and save the man's life.
BB: Mark's opponent is fighting like mad to free himself.....he's not the one being pinned here Sammy. Has this become a handicap match?
::Windham gives Worthington a long look, then reaches down and hooks Mickey in the Iron Claw::
BB: One of Windham's previous finishing moves, the Iron Claw! Mickey's head was already busted open, Windham is just opening the cut even more! Worthington's not sure what to do....he can't call the match! File this under the "I've never seen anything like it" folder.
::Timmy finally manages to slip his left hand out of the cuffs. He runs across the ring and dives ontop of Mark::
BB: TIMMY'S FREE! Timmy Windham all over Mark, stomping a mud hole in him! He brings him up and into the corner, where he unleashes a series of Kermy Kicks!
::Timmy bounces off the middle rope, and catches Mark with a flying leg scissors take down::
SB: It's not easy being green, and it sure as heck ain't good to be either Windham brother right now. Man oh man, what ever happened to family values.
BB: Timmy with a running lariat! And again he goes right back to stomping Windham's face in! It took him a while to get warmed up, um...free rather but he's into this match now!
::Timmy hurries to the top rope, and flies off with a top rope dropkick::
SB: Meanwhile, poor Mickey has yet to move. At this point would Viagra help?
BB: That's enough. Mark is stunned, atleast for the time being. Sunshine pacing back and forth on the outside, she can sense the tide has turned. As Windham come so far to be defeated as this stage? Timmy climbing past the top rope and on his way to the top of the cage!
SB: Lookie lookie Buckley, ol' Blue hide is starting to move! Benedict is alive!
::Timmy makes his way to the top of the cage. He stands up, and poses for a brief second. Mark gets to his feet and as he does, Timmy leaps off with a flying body press::
BB: From the top, but Mark catches him in mid-air! I don't believe it! Catch and deposit, as he drives Timmy through the mat with a powerslam! Mark pulls Timmy to his feet, shoots him off the ropes and across the ring, and Windham delivers a vicious lariat!
::Mark hooks the legs and rolls Timmy over into a Boston Crab. Mickey begins to stir, and with the help of the ropes pulls himself up::
BB: Mark doesn't see Mickey coming to his senses. Windham hooks the arms, butterfly suplex! Timmy now taking the brunt of the punishment!
SB: I'm sure you don't know this Buckley, but Timmy was actually the kid that starred in Muppet Treasure Island. Little known fact.
::Mickey clotheslines Mark from behind::
BB: He was not! Benedict surprises Mark! Mickey drops and elbow...he pulls Mark to his feet, hooks the tights....this could be THE MISSLE! Mickey's slingshot suplex finisher!!
SB: If a 60 year old man hits this.....I'm quitting this business.
::Mickey lifts Mark up, drops him on the ropes, and slingshots him off::
BB: There's his move! He's not covering, can he cover?? Mickey calls for a house mic. What's going on?
MB: (sticking mic in Windham's face) "Say it, punk...say it. You quit"
MW: (breathing heavy) "No.."
::Mickey pounds Mark in the head with the mic and asks him again. Timmy heads for the top of the cage::
BB: Benedict's going for the MISSILE again! For a man who was in a wheelchair 15 minutes ago, he's moving pretty well! At least, for a man his age!
SB: Maybe this will clear things up for you, but he was never without the use of his legs!!
::Mickey lifts Mark up, bounces him on the ropes and slingshots him off...but in mid-air Mark takes control and lands on his feet and then drops Mickey with a neckbreaker::
BB: What a move!! A reversal of the MISSILE! Windham heads for the top of the cage to meet Timmy, first though he signals to Sunshine..and she's looking under the ring. Sammy can you see what's going on?
SB: She's looking for a place to hide. No, you idiot she's setting up a table.
::Mark climbs to the top and delivers a blow to Timmy's groin::
BB: Sunshine has set up a table...Mark firing Timmy's head into the top of the cage! Is he about to do what I think?
SB: (sarcasticly) You think?
BB: Windham hip tosses Timmy over the cage....OHMAN He busted throught the table! Timmy's finished, Timmy's finished! He dropped about 20 feet and hit hard! We need some paramedics out, right now!
SB: The kid's fine, it's a flesh wound that's all.
::Mark stands on the top of the cage, and looks down at Mickey's fallen body:;
BB: The fans are standing on their feet...they wanna see Windham finish Benedict off! Mark leaps off the top, and crushes Mickey with an elbow drop! This is out of hand! Worthington calls for the bell, and rightfully so!
::Mark grabs the house mic and belt:
BB: He's not stopping, Sammy. Windham whips Benedict a few more times! He's got the belt wrapped around Mickey's neck he's choking the life right out of him!
SB: What's our policy regarding a man choking to death on the show? Do we finish the card, or call it a night?
::Troy Windham runs down the aisle to a mixed reaction::
BB: TROY WINDHAM! TROY WINDHAM is in the building! At last, we've got some help here! The former World Champion beats on the cage...he's trying his best to get Windham to stop the insanity. Apologies to Susan Powder.
SB: I would hope so.
:: Mark looks over at Troy and releases the choke...he stands up and stars at his cousin::
BB: Mark has Benedict in one arm and slings him over to the side of the cage near Troy. Mickey, lifeless to a large extent, is draped over the middle rope.
SB: I hate to say this, but Mickey owes me about $5. I bought him dinner a few years back...if he..
SB: Oh like that's out of line...please.
::Windham rears back and whips Mickey with the belt more::
BB: For Heavens sake! Mickey's back is torn up.... (yells to the ring) Mark that's it!! No more, please!
::Windham has Mickey in a headlock. Troy's about 2 feet away yelling at Mark::
MW: (on house mic) "You've lost, and you know it. Say it, Benedict. End it now, or I'll beat you within an inch of your life. No more games....just the Truth."
MB: (half awake)" I'm sorry........I............I QUIT."
MW: "That's not what I"m looking for. I'm serious, old man. Tell the world what I've found out, tell Troy. Awaken the Truth......SAY IT MICKEY!"
MB: "Ti.....ti..... Timmy's not your brother."
BB: What?! What in the world??!
SB: I give up.
::Everyone's stunned. Sunshine rolls in the ring as the cage begins to raise up. About 5 policemen come walking down the aisle. They're joined by a woman who stops midway down::
BB: Sammy I believe that's the woman Mark has been seen all over Texas with...the..
SB: It's okay, hooker.
BB: The police are handcuffing Mickey, and Timmy too! Sammy, they're reading him his rights. Mark Windham is having Benedict arrested!!
::The police lead Mickey and Timmy away, Catherine follows suit after nodding at Mark::
BB: I've never seen anything like this. Sure, a midget was killed on live TV, but this...this is outrageous.
::Mark sits on the middle rope, and lifts the top rope up, motioning for Troy to enter the ring. He hesitates and at the urging of the crowd finally does so::
SB: We're about to see Windham/Windham part two! 2 for 1 Buckley, can't beat that.
BB: Troy Windham, for the first time in months, is in a wrestling ring.
SB: Without a needle in his arm, too!
::Troy is in the ring, face to face with his cousin. Troy turns, and asks for a mic.::
TW: Mark, what the hell is this about? Timmys not your brother?
MW: Timmy, the kid who came into my life in '92.....is not my brother, that's right.
TW: (shakes his head) And I thought I was the one with the drug problem.
MW: The "Muppet Kid" is someone on Mickey's payroll. A sick trick to control me, to control you.
::Troy's embarrassed that he's been brought into this::
MW: He's no more my brother than you are my cousin.
TW: Oh, it's like that now. You wanna out the Boy Troy. This is the "Awakening"? I'll save you the trouble, Marky Mark. (to the audience) Triz-oy's last name is really Alexander. (to Mark) Should I go on? Should I tell everyone about how you came to live with my family when you were 15, and I was still a pup. How my dad and mom took YOU in...and in return you drove my sister away...how you bit the hand that fed you. My father loved you, Mark you had no reason to raise your hand up, and strike him down. Don't make me go any further, couz.
MW: You know I didn't force Catherine to run away. And your Dad....what he didn't tell you, is you were adopted like me. Twenty years ago he was badly burned in a fire...a fire that killed two people. Hours after the tragedy he found a boy. A kid presumed dead. He raised that boy, out of fear. (Windham stops) Troy, you're my brother.
::The crowd erupts. Troy has an absolute look of shock on his face.::
TW: WHAT? IM YOUR WHAT? I cant... I cant (bleep)ing believe this (bleep.) Screw this... screw all of this.
BB: Troy runs out of the ring, and hes cursing at his....at his...brother! OH NO!
SB: HA! I love this!
::Troy grabs the ringkeeper, and punches him. He takes a chair and throws it down, knocks over the table. Security runs down, and surrounds Troy, who is kicking and screaming.::
BB: Troy Windham has snapped! Troy Windham is out of--
SB: I hope he kicks Rhubarb right in his face! HA!
::Troy gets halfway up the aisle before he turns back to Mark::
TW: You're a sick dude, man. With your secrets and revelations... Miz-ark... BRO... you wanna drop bombs? You wanna come out here and tell me that MY whole life has been a lie? Tell me that my whole life isnt what I thought it was? Well... BRO... I got something for you... Oh yeah, Hornet--you might wanna listen to this, just because I hate your (bleep)ing guts as much as I hate Marks... you see, Mark, all my career, Ive been tellin you that being a Living Legend has ruined you as a person. These idiot fans have been just like the kids growing up... that Id never get out of YOUR shadow. That no-matter what I did, itd NEVER be as good as you did. Mark- this is TROY2K... this is MY league, this is MY world... you want to come out here and drop a bombshell... BRO? You want to come out here and tell the world that you found out me and you are really BROTHERS AFTER ALL THESE YEARS? Its supposed to be MY night to take over the CSWA... Mark, your little revelation aint gonna change this up... you see, your BOY Hornet... the man you trusted your whole damn life... well, lets just say that Hornet got his American Pie in a place I like to call the Sweetwater Cafe... thats right, Mark. All those years on the road, wondering where Jewels was? Wondering why your baby daughter- MY NIECE- wouldnt pick up the phone? Well, it seems shes a two-bit rat... and Hornet was the cheeze, dude... yeah- Troy Windham dropped his OWN bomb DIGGIDDY shell... this show is MINE, yo!
::The crowd is shocked as Troy walks out of the arena. Mark stands in the middle of the ring, stunned. A revelation apparently brought before his eyes. Sunshine puts her hand on his arm, but he doesn't move. The Lost Soul awakened.::
BB: I.....I....don't know what to say.
SB: Oh...this just gets better and better. First Benedict gets pummeled, the Muppet Kid exposed, Troy Windham.....or should I say TIMMY Windham returns....there's a prostitute in the ring...and now the former 'Greatest American Hero' has been boffing his former best friend's wife? I haven't had this much fun since the Red Midget was killed.
(Commissioner Thomas begins to walk down the aisle as the Windham mess begins to clear out of the ring.)
ST: Well then I hate to ruin your fun, Sammy.
BB: Here is comes, Sammy......another firing.
SB: Oh geez...
ST: Oh no, Buckley...I wouldn't dream of firing America's favorite foul-mouthed drunk.
SB: I love you too, Thomas.
ST: No, instead, I'm gonna give the fans what they want. You see Sammy, Bill, I think for this final match, for tonight's last match, the crowning glory of what has become a Triple Main Event....I think it's only fitting that we have a trio of commentators to call the action.
SB: Oh boy....lemme guess, since Poison Ivy can't come down in Hornet's corner without losing her promise from Vizzachero to have that piece of crap she calls a column put back on the TRIBUNE's front page....you're gonna put her at the booth.
ST: I thought of that one, Sammy....but I'm afraid it's just not enough. I think for ANNIVERSARY, we need something a little special. So I thought.....why not have a sort of reunion.
(The crowd begins to murmur as a large box is lowered toward the ring)
ST: In fact, Sammy, I think it's only fitting that after ten years of service....not eleven, since we're not counting the time you were absent for being fired.....that you be given a little present.
SB: Why do I think I'm NOT going to like this?
BB: But I bet I am.....
ST: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome a man you all know very well....a man who I owe a great debt of gratitude to....a man who will join the booth as the third man......here's my very special little surprise....
(The sides of the box drop to the mat...revealing...)
......THE RED MIDGET!!!!!!!!!!
BB: What in the name of all that.....
Red: I'm baaaaaack.
(Lyle Tallman, aka The Red Midget, begins climbing out of the ring to the commentators' table)
Red: Dead? Come on, Sammy....you know better than that....
SB: But I saw you....I saw him....I saw....
Red: Hush now, Benson...don't reveal any of our little secrets....we have friends that wouldn't be very happy at that, don't we?
SB: But it bl......you were......I saw.....
Red: Would you like to slap some sense into him Buckley, or may I?
BB: I'm about as blown away as he is, Red. The last time we saw you alive was just over two years ago at CSWA ANNIVERSARY 1997! And we all saw, or thought we saw you hanged!
Red: You'll have to talk to Sammy about that one, Bill....I've got no comment.
BB: We all think you're dead for two years....and you've got NO COMMENT?
BB: Now I remember why I hit you in the head with a suitcase....
Red: Oh....don't think I've forgotten that little incident either. Now do your job and get on with the show....
SB: But he's.....I mean, I saw.....
BB: Fans....I would send it down to Rhubarb...but he's refused to come back out after being attacked by Sammy Benson. So the honors are mine, I suppose. Both these men come into this match with 40 points, having won two matches and lost one. Should either of these men win by pinfall, they will be your next CSWA World Heavyweight Champion. They are two men who need no further introduction.........it's time for the FINAL match of the IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS (crowd cheers)....it's time for......
IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS
BB: Hornet comes in with wins over Eddy Love and Kevin Powers; Eli Flair got his wins over Deacon and Love. That all leaves us with a strange finale.....if either man wins by pinfall, they win the title. If Hornet were to win by disqualification or countout, he would win the title by virtue of the tiebreaker due to his win earlier against Powers. If Eli Flair were to win by DQ or countout, he would tie Powers at 50 points.....and we haven't seen an Eli/Powers match. I'm assuming that at that point we'd have a tiebreaker match....but that ruling would be made by Commissioner Thomas. Of course, if there's a draw, Kevin Powers takes it all home.
RM: You said a mouthful.
BB: And we all wish you wouldn't.
SB: I'm telling you....I saw....
BB: Wait a second...it looks like Rhubarb Jones is on his way down.
RJ: (in the ring) Sorry fans, I was being attended to in the back. As you've heard, Mr. Buckley has given you the run-down. Now entering the ring is the former CSWA Presidential Champion, the former United States Champion, and the man they call the "King of Extreme"......he is ELI FLAIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! (crowd pops)
His opponent hails from just down the street here in lovely Greensboro, North Carolina (crowd cheers lead to a mixed reaction, mostly boos), he is looking for his second IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS win to give him an unprecedented fifth CSWA World Title reign....here is the One......the Only.......HORNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BB: How many times have we seen this?
RM: None actually....when was the last time Eli Flair and Hornet met in the ring?
SB: I'm telling you...I don't.....
BB: Shut up Sammy! Hornet and Eli circle the ring....but Eli quickly slides outside. What is Rhubarb still doing in there?
RJ: Ladies and gentlemen, I've just been asked to make one final introduction....... here is the first lady of wrestling, a former champion in her own right.......this is.....POISON IVY!!!!!!!!!!!!
BB: WHOA! What have we got here?!
SB: The "Happy Hour" is staying on the front page of the TRIBUNE is what we've got.
RM: Apparently not....cause look what she's wearing!
(Ivy begins marching down to ringside wearing a tank top that reads "Are You Ready..... to Get EXTREME?" She is holding something black in her hands along with the infamous Singapore cane. She reaches the ring as Eli picks up a microphone.)ELI: See something familiar, Hornet? Yeah, Ivy said she didn't have to be in your corner here at Anniversary.... and guess what? She's not. She's some place better. HOME. (HUGE fan pop)
You see, I take offense to a full-of-himself prima donna screwing with my sister in law's head and emotions. I take offense to someone who says one thing and does something else entirely. Most of all, though.... I take offense to someone who puts me on the shelf for three months, for no reason other then proving a damn point? Be a little bit more (bleeped) creative next time, Hornet!
(He hands the microphone off to Ivy)
IVY: Hornet.... I don't really know what to say. I loved you. I trusted you. But you were just using me.... You talked about taking care of business, about making up for lost time.... about making amends for the mistakes that we made three years ago! But did you mean any of it? Really mean it?
(She holds up the black object and it falls open, revealing itself to be a pair of women's underwear)
I guess we all now know who these belong to. Because they sure as hell ain't mine.
(BOOS FROM THE CROWD)
ELI: Hornet.... CHAMP.... I think you've got some explaining to do.
Hornet: You want an EXPLANATION? What do you want me to say....that just like Vizzack and Sunshine, you and Eli were nothing but a means to an end? That I let you use your own infatuation to get what I wanted? That I've been going down to Sweetwater every chance I get to visit Jewels? I tell ya what....Ivy, hon, it's just like I've told you from the beginning, it's nothing personal.
(Poison Ivy slams the cane into the side of Hornet's head. Hornet falls back into the corner as Eli and Ivy hug, and the crowd roars.)
Hornet: Nice shot, sweetheart. But it still won't get you another lay. (to referee Manuel Juarez) Start this match. (to Ivy) Now....go ahead and do it one more time so we can all go home.
BB: Manuel Juarez calls for the bell as Hornet tries to get Ivy angry enough to hit him again and end this one in a disqualification before it's even begun. But Eli and Ivy are too smart for that ploy to work....they share one final hug, a little strategy, and Ivy climbs outside to the floor. We are in for a slobberknocker here, folks.... the question is, will it go Flair's way and go 'extreme,' or can Hornet's technical expertise pull it off?
RM: Keep in mind that both these men have wrestled three matches already. They're also both emotionally drained......although Eli may have the edge there.
BB: You think? Considering Hornet's affair with Jewels Windham has been revealed, and Ivy just turned her back on him? You're almost as insightful as Sammy.
SB: Dead I tell you.....he was.....
BB and RM: SHUT UP, Sammy!
BB: Hornet and Eli circle each other, as Hornet calls for a test of strength.
RM: These men are definitely well-matched, much like the Hornet/Love match earlier, although Eli might have the strength advantage.
BB: They lock hands...but before they're even hooked up, Hornet slams his hip into Eli's stomach and pushes him through the ropes to the outside! Surely Hornet's not going to take Eli to his natural environment?
RM: We saw Mark Vizzack try it earlier...who knows.
BB: Eli climbs to his feet.....suicide dive by Hornet...and BOTH men crash into the guardrail!!!! This one is getting wild already. Both men roll away from the steel guardrail...but they're both down. Poison Ivy comes over to help out Flair...and she can't resist a spiked heel kick to the midsection of Hornet. She backs away toward Rhubarb Jones's chair, as she ushers Jones away. Eli to one knee...and he's up well before Hornet.
RM: Why would a six-foot-five man dive through the ropes like that?
BB: Who knows why Hornet does anything anymore? The former US Champ pulls up the former World Champ and slams him back-first into the ring apron. Eli rolls Hornet inside, breaking the ten-count by Manuel Juarez. But just as quickly, Flair rolls back outside and pulls Hornet with him. Eli whips Hornet down the line into the guardrail....and Hornet goes into the first row!!!! The fans love it!
RM: Did Hornet just get a Coke dumped on him?
BB: Well, if he did, it helped wake him up, because he's climbing to his feet. But Eli's over already, 'helping' him back over the guardrail. Snap suplex by Flair sends Hornet down hard on the mat-covered concrete, taking the wind out of the former Unified Champ. Flair yells something to Ivy, and the reunited manager flies into action.
RM: She's getting a table out from under the ring! It's business as usual for Team Extreme!
BB: Flair pulls the winded former champ to his feet and bodyslams him onto the table....and now Eli is headed up to the ring apron! He rolls inside just in time to break the ten-count.
RM: I think Juarez has just decided to let these two go at it....he keeps counting, they keep going.
BB: Eli with the running elbow down the line....NAILS Hornet THROUGH THE TABLE!!!! Both men hit the concrete hard!
RM: Yeah, but Eli's got the edge....he's got a little cushion.
BB: I guess Hornet's 'new' back gets a real test tonight....he went through that table clean to the concrete. Eli rolls off of the carnage, and is slow getting to his feet.
RM: But not slower than Hornet....who might be out.
BB: Eli needs to make a move, though...Juarez is up to seven, and a double-countout doesn't help out Flair at all. He pulls Hornet out of the wreckage and dumps him on the apron, as he rolls in as well, just barely breaking the count.
RM: Smart move by Eli....he could have gotten the easy win by countout by leaving Hornet on the outside...but that would have set him up for a tiebreaker match with Kevin Powers.
BB: Eli hooks the leg for the cover....ONE.......TWO.......NO! Juarez points out Hornet's leg on the bottom rope, breaking the count. Eli is undaunted, he pulls Hornet toward the center of the ring and covers with a lateral press. ONE............TWO..........NO!!! Hornet kicks out at two-and-a-half!!! The leg strength of the former four-time champ serves him well in this one!
RM: I would say I can't believe it....but somehow, I can.
BB: Eli looks frustrated, but determined. He pulls Hornet up and sends him into ropes...flying body press, and he hooks the leg again! ONE.............TWO........NO! AGAIN, Hornet kicks out. I don't even know if he's aware of anything except Juarez's hand hitting the mat! Eli pulls Hornet up one more time...sends him for the ride.... HUGE CLOTHESLINE!!!!! HORNET GOES OVER THE TOP! It looks like Juarez is going to let this one continue, he rules that the contact wasn't intentionally meant to put Hornet over. Flair follows Hornet out.... Hornet is crawling toward the guardrail, trying to get to his feet. Hornet backs himself up in that corner, so that he's at least standing as Eli advances.
RM: Uh oh....it looks like Ivy's got something planned over there.
BB: Ivy heads under the ring for the second time in this match...last time it was for a table, who knows what she's got up her sleeve this time. Eli charges into the corner shoulder-first, but Hornet sidesteps him, sending Flair crashing into the steel rail. Hornet whips Eli into the ringpost, and then back body drops the big man onto the floor. Eli rolls inside, breaking the count, and then manhandles Hornet into the guardrails once again. This entire crowd is on its feet, Red!
RM: Um....that might be because Ivy has a BRANDING IRON in hand! That's the branding iron Hornet used on Mark Vizzack....and now she's walking towards the action!BB: Eli is all over Hornet, but he's got his back to Ivy. He's got no idea that she's coming up from behind him with a branding iron! RM: Or maybe she does.....because Eli pulls Hornet out of the corner and throws him against the apron. He's got Hornet stretched out! BB: And Ivy SLAMS that branding iron hard into Hornet's back. Hornet drops to one knee and turns toward Ivy. He's begging her not to do it again...and now it looks like she's aiming for his head! She swings....and he grabs hold of the metal rod!!! He wrenches it out of her hands and slams it into the gut of Flair!!! Flair doubles over, Hornet pushes Ivy away, and then nails Flair in the back with another shot from the branding iron before tossing it down the aisle. RM: This thing is getting out of hand. BB: At least it didn't have smoke rising from it like last time.....Hornet branded Vizzack for goodness sakes. SB: Smoke...there was smoke...and blood...and.... BB: Both men are now back inside....Hornet taking a slight breather in the corner, while Eli remains close to the ropes, recovering from that shot to the kidneys. Hornet's on his feet, and he brings Eli to his knees. Now he pulls Eli to his feet and pushes him into the corner. Knife edge chops by Hornet, and now the former World Champ pulls Eli out and sends him across!!! Eli hits hard in the corner; further damage on that sore back. Here comes Hornet!!! HORNET SPLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!! RM: How many times have we seen that tonight....although that's about the most well-executed one of the night. BB: Ivy is yelling for Eli to watch out for what we all know is coming next.......Eli's able to get his arms under the ropes and block the Scorpion!!! Hornet grabs Flair's legs and pulls him out of the corner, however. Flair quickly rolls to one knee, but Hornet is ready.......he scoops Flair up and sends him down with a belly to belly, over by the other corner. RM: What's he doing now? BB: He pulls Flair out from the corner just a little bit, leaving him on his back....and now Hornet is headed up top! He doesn't do this often....but if he hits....this could be it! RM: And Ivy is over by the other corner...she's got no chance to interfere! BB: Hornet stands up top....he raises his arms, playing to this crowd....he may be wasting too much time!!!! SHOOTING............STAR.............PRESS!!!!! HE HIT IT! HORNET HIT IT!!!!!! HE HOOKS THE LEG!!! ONE.........................................TWO.......................................THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's done it!!! Hornet is the FIVE-TIME CSWA WORLD CHAMPION! I can't believe it!!!! RM: NO! Look....Manuel Juarez is pointing to Eli Flair's leg.....he's got a boot on the lower rope!!! BB: But Hornet doesn't see it......he's calling for a microphone! Flair is still down on the mat. RM: Juarez is trying to tell him, but Hornet's not listening. He's got the mic.
Hornet: I told you people seven months ago what the deal was, didn't I! And now, twice, that's right TWO TIMES, I've shown up the rest of the so-called workers in this company. It's called taking care of business, people, and once again.... (Manuel Juarez pats Hornet in the back) ...Yeah, thanks, Manny, you don't have to raise my arm right now...I'm right in the middle...
Juarez: But sir.....the foot...it was.
Hornet: All I've heard for the last two months is about how Hornet can't hack it. Well guess what......Merritt couldn't hack it...and he's long gone. GUNS couldn't hack it....and he's somewhere in Puerto Rico trying to pick up a paycheck without getting stabbed. Vizzack couldn't hack it.....and now he's off in a room somewhere getting his poor shoulder worked on.
Juarez: Mr. Hornet, sir.....his foot, it was on....
BB: Poison Ivy has helped Flair to the outside....he's still recovering from the shots his back has taken. Juarez now goes over to tell him what's going on.
RM: What IS going on?
Hornet: Manny, why don't you go on out and get the belt for me...you can even strap it around my waist. That's a good Cuban. Where was I? Oh yeah....and Mark Windham CERTAINLY couldn't handle it. But I'm happy for you, Mark....you've found your long-lost brother, beaten the crap out of Mickey Benedict....heck, it's just like 1993 all over again isn't it....and you STILL don't have a belt around your waist....just like your sorry cousin, brother, or whatever the heck he is.
Juarez: Mr. Hornet, the match is not over...his foot was on the ropes.
Hornet: Juarez, I'm not gonna tell you again...I'm talking to my people...why don't you get on a boat and go talk to yours? No English, remember?
BB: This crowd is getting more agitated with their booing...and it looks like Juarez is too....he's fed up...and he just called for the bell!!!! I'm being told by timekeeper Bob McAfee that under five minutes are left on the clock for this one! Juarez has restarted this match....and Eli Flair rolls inside like lightning!!!!
Hornet: What the.....?
BB: ELI SCHOOLBOYS HORNET!!!!!!!! ONE......................TWO.........................NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Hornet kicks out!!! He rolls through to his feet and he is FURIOUS!!! But Flair is on fire! He clotheslines Hornet...but the man who thought he was the five-time champ is up on his feet!!! They charge and double clothesline each other!!! Hornet is up first, and he goes to elbow Flair, but nobody's home! Flair tries to drop toe hold Hornet, but Hornet dodges and catches Eli with a forearm. Hornet with a brainbuster!
RM: Hornet's picking up where he left off.
BB: Hornet covers!!! ONE............TWO...........NO! Eli kicks out!
RM: So, would this make him a SIX-time CSWA World Champ?
BB: Hornet irish whips Flair across.....flying dropkick...and he covers again! ONE...........TWO.......Eli kicks out again! Hornet turns Flair over and starts rubbing his face into the mat. He pulls Flair up, only to put him down with a quick DDT! He hooks the leg....ONE..............TWO.........NO!!!!!
RM: Eli's trying to stay in this one!
BB: He is...but we're down to around three minutes left in this one. Hornet pulls Flair up and sends him into the corner one more time!!!! He charges in with the elbow, but nobody's home again!!! Flair grabs hold of Hornet and sends him all the way across the ring into the opposite corner.....where Poison Ivy nails him in the head with that cane!!!!!!
RM: What a shot!!!!
BB: I don't know if Juarez saw it or not......Hornet staggers out of the corner.....here comes Flair! INVERTED DDT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He drops Hornet like a ton of bricks!!! He hooks the leg! ONE.................. TWO................. THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ELI FLAIR HAS DONE IT!!! LOOK AT THAT MAN'S FACE...HE CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!
RJ: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH AND YOUR NEWWWWWW CSWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.......TOTAL ELIMINATION ELI FLAIRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
BB: This crowd is on its feet!!! This is one of those special moments. Look at it.....Ivy rushes into the ring and falls into Flair's arms.
RM: I think Ivy is in tears.....that's one I never thought I'd see.
BB: It's been so long coming, Red. And I think this is just the way he would have wanted it....six men wrestled their hearts out tonight, folks, and Eli Flair is the one lucky enough to rise to the top. This crowd has gone absolutely wild as Manuel Juarez hands him the CSWA World Championship belt.
RM: Amen to that, Bill. This has been a truly special night.
BB: Some of the other wrestlers are coming out to congratulate Flair as he and Ivy begin to climb out of the ring. Flair stops for a moment, pats the title, and points to the sky before leaving the ring. This one was for Alicia, folks.....this is a young man that has gone through more than any of us know....and he's at the top of his sport right now. What a moment.
RM: The fans lucky enough to be here in the Merritt Auditorium have felt some real electricity.
BB: Hornet is still in the ring...he's recovered, and is just sitting in the corner.
RM: What's he saying, Buckley? He's mouthing something over and over.....
(The camera goes in close, picking up Hornet saying "What have I done? What have I done?")
BB: Hornet may be in for an "Awakening" of his own, if Troy Windham's claims earlier tonight were true. Fans, before we leave you with a special montage of tonight's action, we want to show you Eli Flair's triumphant walk down the aisle as we leave you. For Sammy Benson, myself, and the Red Midget, this.....
SB: (explodes from his chair and attacks Red) YOU!!!!! RED!!!! MIDGET!!!!!!! NOT AGAINNNNNNN!!!!!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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