CSWA Primetime
In Puerto Rico

(Fade-in to: The sold out arena. The Puerto Rican fans are on their feet, having a blast the CSWA cameras pan the audience.)

(Cutto: The arena where Bill Buckley, Sammy Benson, and Teri Melton sit in the CSWA Primetime set. Buckley dressed in a navy blue suit, Teri in a white dress, and Benson is wearing a Hawaiian shirt, straw hat, and checkered shorts)

BB: Fans welcome to CSWA PRIMETIME in Puerto Rico!! The weather outside is scorching hot, and we intend to heat things up ourselves!! Before we go any further, let me introduce my co-hosts for the evening, the lovely Teri Melton! And um..Sammy Benson..

SB: (drinking something out of a straw) Screw the card, somebody get Marvin out here. I'd do it on my cell phone, if the darn thing wasn't stolen by those idiots at customs. I'm still not sure how they can think a Motorola phone could be considered a weapon.

TM: Perhaps it was the jelly stuck between the buttons...

SB:Don't start with me honey, I don't care what you're wearing..don't get on my bad side tonight. I'm light-years away from my own bed, let alone country. To make matters worse I've already had 10 or so of these idiots out here, ask me to smuggle them into the country.

BB: Oh for crying out loud. Sammy can we make it through one evening without you insulting someone...is that too much to ask?

SB: Probably so. Where's that jacka** Parsons? Look at me Buckley, I'm already sweating!! Get that goof out here and let's have the air conditioning working again!

TM: Why? Maybe if you're lucky you'll sweat off---oh 200 lbs.

BB: (laughing) Alright you two..let's get to business at hand. We've got a ton of new faces debuting tonight! Commissioners Merritt and Thomas have really scouted the independent leagues out there, and the result is a lot of fresh blood in the CSWA.

TM: In my opinion that's exactly what the CSWA needed. CS has spent a lot of time and money to making this happen. The doors have reopened, and the wrestlers who await the fans inside bring a cloud of excitement we haven't had here in some time..

BB: Well said Teri. Sammy, tonight we'll see a number of single and tag matches. The big battle royal. And our Main Event: Troy Windham vs HORNET!

SB: Let me break it down for you all you simple minded people out there... especially the ones who thought it'd be a cute idea to do a strip search at the border.... Nobody cares about what goes on here tonight... all they want is for SAMMY BENSON TO RETURN SAFE AND SOUND TO---

TM: Oh shut up. Bill, let me break it down like Americana Fats over here couldn't. After tonight we're going to have a great idea of who's who in the CSWA. The newcomers, well we'll find out what they're made of. As far as Troy/Hornet is concerned. Who knows what Merritt and Thomas have planned for the World Title. Maybe this is a title match preview!

BB: Thank you, Teri. I agree with you 100%! Also, I've just been told that Co-Commissioner Merritt has a special announcement to make. Lord, who knows what that's going to entail. Frankly, I'm scared.

SB: You should be..maybe he'll do what he should have a LONG time ago and fire your sorry---

BB: That's enough out of you! Let's head down to Rhubarb Jones as we get CSWA Primetime underway!!

(Remember this card, and all future PRIMETIMES will be in short form. Because this card is late, the summaries will be shorter than usual. A summary of each match follows)

Godfather vs Ice Man Steve Radder

In comments leading up to the match, neither man pulled any punches. The Godfather, didn't waste any time trying to back up his words. Power wrestling was on display tonight, as he literally tried to kill the IceMan. Radder, eventually got into the match...and let his dislike for the Godfather as well. Radder took him outside, used just about everything in sight, before finally rolling him back in the ring. The Godfather rallied, but the Ice Man cooled off the Godfather and got the win with a piledriver!

WINNER: Ice Man Steve Radder

3-way: Wattinator vs Eliminator vs Crash Mclarson


CSWA history was made tonight as three newcomers squared off against one another. 3-way matches are rare in the CSWA, but always entertaining none the less. The Eliminator started the match off with Mclarson and never tagged out. For nearly 15 minutes Elim went against two guys. The outcome was hardly ever in doubt. By not tagging out, the Eliminator choose to take everything they could throw at him. He took it, and dished out more. Towards the end of the match, the Deacon came down in a Monk outfit, with a cross on his back, distracting the Eliminator.The distraction worked, but only for a short period of time. After stopping a series of tag attempts, the Eliminator put away Crash with his finisher!

WINNER: The Eliminator

Deacon vs El Loco


Probably the most impressive signing by CS is Deacon. Man who has torn up independent leagues across the world, now steps into the CSWA. A towering presence in the ring, and a touch of mystery about him....the Deacon says Faith is in the evidence. After, destroying El Loco that's apparent. It however was not rewarded with a pinfall victory. Ref Ben Young was accidentally stunned by a errant elbow. With Young out of it for a short period of time, the Eliminator wasted no time in repaying the Deacon. With the Deacon setting up his finisher, the Eliminator drove the time keeper's bell into the head of the Deacon. Hot Scott, doubled the fun as he took out Deacon's manager, the Shepard, Both Young and El Loco woke at the same time. Both just as surprised to see Deacon busted open, and laid out. If it's only the one thing he did right, Loco covered the fallen Deacon.

WINNER: the Deacon

3-way tag: Doom vs Disco Express vs Two Guys

Earlier we mentioned history was made when three newcomers faced off in a 3-way for their debut. It almost happened again. Doom and the Two Guys made their debut tonight, and Disco Express made their redebut. Great tag match...as all teams looked on an even scale in the early going. The Disco Express however decided to spent a large portion of the match dancing in and out of the ring..often not realizing the Two Guys and Doom were battling it out. It looked for the longest time that Disco didn't care. Perhaps they had no guidance. That changed as the DiscoMidget made a shocking return to the CSWA. Walking down the aisle, obviously drunker than Sammy Benson's worst day...Disco Inferno realized what was going on and gave Midget what for. After telling his former manager and sidekick off, DiscoMidget stumbled back to the dressing room...with the assistance of Ben Young. With Young tending to the DiscoMidget, a Discoball dropped from the roof. It didn't take long for it to find it's mark on one of the Two Guys. In case you're wondering, they did dance afterwards....you can imagine the response.

WINNER: Disco Express.

(cutto: Bill Buckley in the ring)

BILL BUCKLEY: Ladies and gentlemen, I am here with a huge International

Superstar who is currently in contract negotiations to enter the CSWA.

He's wrestled in Puerto Rico, Mexico, Japan, and his home country,

Canada. Here is the 7 year veteran, "HOT STUFF" AARON DOUGLAS!

(Cue up "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys. Douglas walks into the ring, to

mixed reaction.)

BILL BUCKLEY: It's great to have you here Aaron. Most of these fans in

Puerto Rico are familiar with you, but those in the United States have

never seen you wrestle before. Last year, on the Internet, fans voted

you International Wrestler of the Year, and alot of the sheets gave you

awards similar to it....

AARON DOUGLAS: Yeah, yeah, I know what's i've done, but now it's time

for me top put my career in high gear. They say if you truly want to be

somebody, you've got to compete in the CSWA. Well I ran over everything

Japan had to throw at me, I laughed at what Mexico had to offer, and as

far as Puerto Rico goes...well, it's not even worth my time! (fans boo)

I've been wasting my time for the past seven years, and it's about time

I truly become International, and join the CSWA. Merritt might have to

get another mortgage on his house, but damnit, if he want the HOTTEST

COMMODITY GOIN' TODAY, then he's gonna have to fork over the cheese, the

scratch, the greenbacks, because Aaron Douglas doesn't wrestle for

minimum wage! Buckley, I gotta go, I've got a few chicks waitin' in a

hot tub for me in my suite at the Marriott, the champagne is on ice, and

i'm ready to go ALL NIGHT LONG!

(Cue up: "Sabotage". Douglas exits the ring, with the fans booing and

throwing trash at him. He smiles, and continues to walk to the back.)

BILL BUCKLEY: Thank you Aaron... on a side note. My sources have told me, that former CSWA great Steel Viper was seen leaving Merritt's office a few days ago! If that's true..and if a contract has been signed...a lot of people will be in trouble, I can promise you that. We've gotta take a time out, but we'll be back with more!

Battle Royal:

Crash Mclarson Judd Jennrich

Disco Stu Jon Mazzic

Bloodhunt Chill

Deacon Steve Radder

Michael Sparks Michael Smith

Crippler Eliminator

Page Michaels Mark Windham

GUNS Braindead

Bloodhunt Chill

Carl Brigsby Ricky Worthington


When you've got 20 of the top stars in the CSWA in one ring bad things happen. It was every man for himself, and it showed. Maybe the most interesting development of the match was Bloodhunt. He was the only man who didn't get in the ring. Instead, he waited on the outside for his prey to come to him. As they were thrown over the top, he went to work. Anything he could get his hands on, Bloodhunt used. He let it be known what he's all about.

Battle Royal favorites GUNS and Mark Windham went at each other from the opening bell. Windham managed to throw GUNS over the top rope. Before he could catch is breath, Michael Sparks dropkicked Windham up and over the top rope. That left: Ice Man Steve Radder, Michael Sparks, the Deacon, and Disco Stu to go for broke.

Boogie man of Disco Express came down with a couple of boxes of pizza to lure Stu's partner. Then Inferno took the Booige Man's cane and smashed it in the back of Disco

Stu, and then threw him out. Stu's partner ate one pizza, opened the other box only to find it empty. He went after the Booige man, and Inferno hit him in the back of the head with the cane. They doubled team them, then the Express danced over their fallen bodies and headed back to the locker room.

Radder and Sparks did what most would do in their situation. They teamed up to get the bigger Deacon out. Not an easy task. They rocked him....but as he was staggered against the ropes, Radder and Sparks went for a clothesline to finish the deal. Deacon, sprung to life, grapped them both and flung they over the top rope.

WINNER: The Deacon

BB: Alright, we're back. Been a wild night so far....especially since Marvin has failed to get the air conditioning working again.

SB: Oh come now Buckley, that does have some perks to it. Teri, you're sweating like a pig.... Here let me wipe----

TM: Don't you dare....Otis.

BB: We've made it through the night thus far without too many fights..please let's not----(to Sammy) Good gracious she is sweating-

TM: What's that Bill??

BB: Mercy...nothing Teri., just straightening Sammy over here out.

SB: Nice save, Buckley.

BB: Rudy Seizter is ringside with Chad Merritt! Rudy, what's this special announcement?!

(Cutto: Rudy standing in the ring with Chad Merritt)

RS: Alright, Chad...what's going on?

CM: Thank you for asking, Rudy I'm fine. (grabs mic from Rudy) Know your role, Rudy... I'll take it from here. Now, at this time let me bring out the man of the hour. Former USN champion, Julius Godreign!!!

(fans cheer as Godreign makes his way to the ring. He's casually dressed, which is unusual for him)

CM: Julius thank you for being here tonight.

JG: No problem.

CM: I know we've talked about this before..but right now in front of all these fine people, and the entire world watching at home... I wanna get an answer from you. In my hand I've got TWO contracts. One, will allow you to work behind the scenes in the CSWA. A nice cushy job in the front office. (fans boo) The other, will put all this retirement talk to bed. I know you say you're injured. But we both know, for the CSWA different rules apply. In my left hand, Godreign I hold a 3 year deal worth 8.5 million dollars. (fans go wild) You know you want the UNIFIED title more than anything in this world...and I'm the guy that can make that happen. Let's shock the world tonight....let's bring Julius Godreign back to the CSWA! What do you say people, do you wanna see that happen??!!! (fans go nuts) Here it is, (reaches in jacket to grab a pen) like this? It was a birthday gift to Thomas from Drew Barrymore. Sure I stole it, but the moron hasn't missed it yet. (laughs) Little humor folks... seriously Julius... what do you say??? Are we going to make history tonight!!!

JG: (Fans cheering) (grabs the contract out of Merritt's right hand-signs it) I'll be at work at 9 am Monday morning.

CM: (fans booing) What?? Crap... Jackie you idiot cut...CUT!

BB: Wow....Godreign accepting a front office job. Or atleast that's what it looks like. We've got to take a break, but we'll be back with the MAIN EVENT!

(commerical for NIKE...hey even we can be bought :) )

BB: It's been a great night so far, for the CSWA! Now it's going to get even better.. It's Main Event time, guys. Troy Windham vs HORNET. Both men former CSWA World Heavyweight Champions.

SB: That's all well and good Buckley but let's remember it's been some time since everyone's favorite superhero last held the title. At ANNIVERSARY, Troy Windham ushered in a new era in CSWA wrestling. Hornet is old, he's fat, and he's a goof.

TM: Oh that was well put......Troy might be the future, but tonight he's still facing the present. I like Hornet to win this match...

SB: You know you want Troy..

TM: I know I want you to shut up.....

BB: Alright now.....let's go to Rhubarb with the introductions for tonight's MAIN EVENT!


This match was promoted as many different ideas. Speculation was running wild that these two would meet again for the vacant World Title. If that's case, neither man held back anything for the second encounter. In a match that last nearly 30 minutes, Troy Windham hand HORNET put on a show for the fans. Hornet did his best to but to rest any notion that he's not the same wrestler he was just a couple of years ago. In the early going, he completely took the action to the younger Windham. He had the place rocking, with a barage of shooting star presses, hornet splashes, and top rope moves. Windham, though resisted the pin attempts and eventually his offensive game. Troy tried a different approach for tonight's match. He went to work with several submission type moves. Including a boston crab, and camel clutch. Obviously, he was going after Hornet's notorious bad back. Like the champion he is, Hornet fought out of pinning situations himself. It looked as if he was going to get his second wind and wear down Windham, but then all heck broke loose.

Mark Windham hit the ring and tore into Troy. Accidentially or not, Hornet nailed Mark with a Hornet Splash. He seemed torn between the choice of helping Mark, or going after Troy. He choose the latter. Mark then snapped, crushing Hornet with repeated chair shots. For a brief time it seemed as if the two Windhams were teaming up. Then things really took a twisted turn. GUNS, hit the ring like a bat out of hell. Going after both Mark and Troy. Eventually the Windhams were cleared from the ring. They started to retreat together, before tearing into one another yet again. As for GUNS, he and HORNET stood in the middle of the ring....staring each other down...with glances Deeper than Jerry Springer's Final Thoughts.

Two alliances formed in one night?? Or....four men serving their own agendas with no recourse for those left in the wake.

BB: What a night folks! We'll see you next weekend for CSWA SuperPrimetime!! Maybe then we'll crown a World Heavyweight Champion!

SB: Doubtful.

BB: For Teri Melton, Rudy Seizter, and Sammy Benson..I'm ----

SB: ---I can take it from here, Buckley. I WANNA GO HOME!!!


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