CSWA SuperPRIMETIME in Indianapolis March 23, 1997 ----------------------------------- (A couple of hours before the card, the commentators and crew are getting set up inside the RCA Dome.) Crew Member: Hey guys, where do you want the special chair? Bill Buckley: Special chair? What're you talking about? Crew: We were told to bring this elevator chair. Must be for that midget guy. BB: Oh.....well, put it over there I guess. Sammy Benson: He gets a special chair, now? BB: Well, he *is* a midget. SB: Yeah, and I'm fat and bald, but I still have to sit on a folding chair. I tell ya, Buckley, this midget thing is outta hand. How long is this debacle gonna last? BB: Until Merritt decides to put things back to normal, I guess.....or decides to change things even more. SB: Or until we do like we did last time and get rid of the little pipsqueak. BB: You know what Merritt said...he'll fire us in a heartbeat. SB: Not if he doesn't know it's us. I'm sure we can ask a couple of the workers to take care of it. BB: You think any wrestler around here is gonna throw away the kind of money he's making just to get rid of Red? I don't think so. SB: There's gotta be *something* we can do. BB: There is....grin and bear it. SB: But I can't put up with the moron. And if he kicks me again.... BB: Learn to deal with it, Sammy...otherwise, we may both be out of a job. SB: I really can't believe I'm being held hostage by a three foot menace to society. BB: Get used to it. SB: I'm gonna figure out something....if it kills me, I'm gonna figure out some way.... ============================================================ TV Announcer: The following is a special presentation by U-62, in conjunction with the hottest league in professional wrestling, the CSWA! (U-62 fades out, replaced by a wide shot of the RCA Dome, filled almost to capacity. The traditional laser light show is underway.) BB: Hello wrestling fans! This is Bill Buckley welcoming you LIVE to CSWA SUPERPRIMETIME in Indianapolis, where this crowd is HOT! Listen to them, Sammy! SB: Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's get this show on the road. Hey, what are these idiots chanting? BB: Um, I think they're saying "Red, Red, Red." SB: You're kidding, right? BB: Listen for yourself. SB: You've *got* to be kidding me, right? BB: I'm not going through all this with you again. SB: Where is Shortstuff anyway? BB: I haven't seen him all day, Sammy. I don't have any idea.....Marvin, what's that music? SB: What the.... BB: Fans, apparently we've got a match starting early or something. (Theme to the "Mighty Morphin' Power Midgets" plays) What *is* that music? SB: Oh no..... (At the entryway, smoke obscures the entrance, then in a flurry of flame and fireworks, an image begins to appear, rising on a platform from beneath the stage) SB: This can't be happening. Music: "Go, Go Power Midgets...." (The Red Midget waits for the platform to stop, then steps off onto the commentators' perch where Benson and Buckley are.) RM: Hi guys! Hear that crowd? SB: Yeah, I think they're chanting "Freak, Freak." RM: Jealousy doesn't become you, Sammy. SB: As if being three freakin' feet tall becomes you. RM: You want a piece of me, Benson?! I'll drive your tall scrawny butt into the ground! SB: Ooooh, ya got me shakin'. BB: That's enough guys. We've got a show to do. RM: Come on, Buckley, you've gotta give me props for that entrance. BB: Red, when I want to talk to you, I will look at you, got it? RM: What? What are you...? BB: SHUT UP! This is a wrestling program, not your own personal sideshow...now shut up and let me do my job. ---------------------------------------------------------- BB: Folks, we're back....I'm sorry for what you just saw. I've been promised that it won't happen again. RM: As long as Lardo over there keeps his mouth shut.... BB: That's strike two, Red. If you can't shut up, no matter what Merritt says, I'll have you taken off this stage. RM: You and what army? BB: I'm more than four feet taller than you are, son, if I want you gone, I can take care of it. Folks, our first match up features a newcomer to the CSWA. This young man has been a major player in the independents. He recently defeated ATTAXX for the EFW World Title, recently defended his WWX Television Championship, and he's the current Tri-State Champion. Tonight, he steps into the CSWA. HELLION vs. CARL BRIGSBY For all the matches Carl Brigsby has lost, he's certainly not a bad wrestler. He came out on fire against Hellion, using solid technique to take control of the match early. But nothing the veteran Brigsby could do seemed to take any toll on Hellion. The young newcomer wasn't phased by anything the older veteran had to dish out....he simply let Brigsby make his attempts....and wear himself down. Hellion turned the juice on after about five minutes, blocking a standing suplex attempt by Brigsby and turning it around into a hard snap suplex. Brigsby tried to get to his feet quickly, but Hellion was already set. Brigsby seemed hardly to know where he was in the ring...but Hellion knew, and he dropped Brigsby with a clothesline that sent the veteran threw the top and second ropes and outside. The young man wasn't afraid to hit the outside either, although by this time, Brigsby seemed half-conscious and not much of a threat. Hellion dropped the veteran on the rail, then followed up with a shoulderblock that took Brigsby back-first into the ring post. Finally, Brigsby got a little help back into the ring as Hellion bench pressed Brigsby and literally threw him back inside. If Brigsby could've gotten up, it might have taken him a week. So Hellion did him a favor....setting him on the top rope.....then executing his "The Wake-Up Call" finisher from the top, something we've never seen before!!! Hellion quickly hooked the leg, although he didn't need to, and got the one-two-three. WINNER: HELLION BB: What an impressive debut from an impressive young man. This Hellion has taken titles from smaller federations around the world....and if he can do to the superstars of the CSWA what he just did to Brigsby....well, he could be a champion soon at that rate. SB: You think he can do that to GUNS or Troy Windham, Joe Massacre or Mark Windham? BB: I don't know....but it sure looks like he's got a chance. Folks, when we return, we'll have WOLF and Otis Spunkmeyer in action. SB: Not the freakin' muffins! BB: Fans, we're back in Indianapolis here in the RCA Dome. We'd like to thank all those at U-62 and here in the RCA Dome for all the hospitality they've shown as always. SB: Sure, but would it be too much trouble for *somebody* to bring me a beer? Preferably one of the Hooters girls? BB: You know the policy about you drinking during an event, Sammy. SB: Me!? What about Red? He's got a forty under the table! RM: And boy is it refreshing. SB: I'm not even gonna get into it. BB: Up next, it's Muffin Time, apparently. SB: Please, Lord, kill me now. "Muffin Man" OTIS SPUNKMEYER vs. WESLEY PAIGE Once again, the Muffin Man made an entrance as only he can, showering the fans at ringside with his basket of freshly-baked muffins. Strangely enough, the one muffin that seemed a bit stale happened to be chucked up toward the commentators' table where it hit Sammy Benson between the eyes. Wesley Paige seemed a bit taken back by the whole spectacle of Otis Spunkmeyer. And that seems to be part of the method to Spunkmeyer's madness. The man they call the Muffin Man tossed the empty basket to a fan and charged the ring, catching Paige off guard, and sending him down to the mat with a kick to the gut. Spunkmeyer quickly followed, coming off the ropes and dropping Paige with some kind of modified neckbreaker! And that was all she wrote, as Spunkmeyer hooked the leg and got the easy three-count. WINNER: "The Muffin Man" OTIS SPUNKMEYER SB: That was the quickest three-count since....well, since the other night when Massacre ambushed Michaels. RM: (belches) Excuse me. BB: See, Sammy, he takes after you in his commentating style. SB: How droll, Buckley. WOLF vs. ALLEN STOKES Wolf met one of his toughest challenges yet as former PRODIGY Lightweight Champ "Air" Allen Stokes stops over in the CSWA. Stokes has spent the last three years or so wrestling with a Japanese promotion, but his legacy in the States is from his time spent in the CSWA. Wolf is a young star looking to cement his name in the books, and a win here could help him begin to do that. The match began with a quick test of strength that Wolf won easily...he seemed to have the match in hand, but Stokes used his quickness and agility to get to his feet and begin his assault. A flying dropkick staggered Wolf, while a quick clothesline from the top sent the big man down. Stokes headed up top again, dropping a moonsault on the big man, but he didn't have the power to keep Wolf down for three. The tide turned when Stokes went upstairs again, coming off with a splash, only to catch the big boot from Wolf. From there, Wolf went on a rampage, finally putting Stokes down with the powerbomb for the win at the 10:50 mark. BILL BUCKLEY: Listen to this crowd here in Indy! We've got a huge slate of action coming your way! When the night is over, we'll know the FINAL FOUR of the CSWA World Tourny! We'll also know if "Devasting" Mike Randalls can survive Famine! SAMMY BENSON: The world has changed so much in the two years that Famine has been away! I mean when he was last seen we had a crook for a president..now...well nevermind. BILL BUCKLEY: Yeah, I think you better stop! Right now, we're ready to contine with more action in INDY!!! RED MIDGET: You know, I'd just like you two to know that sometimes I get the feeling that I'm left out of the team here.. SAMMY BENSON: Good, we were wondering if it was working or not.. ============================================================ Tidal Wave vs Eliminator (W/Poison IVY) BILL BUCKLEY: Eliminator is back in action, folks! If he and IVY were having any problems at all they seem to have patched things up! The bell rings, and this one is history in the making! The 300 pound monster, Tidal Wave, attacks Eli in the corner! SAMMY BENSON: I think I liked IVY better when she was laid out in Chapel Hill.. BILL BUCKLEY: Tidal Wave leans over and clotheslines Eli! Tidal Wave picks Eliminator up, and throws him down over the top rope! A stun gun type move! RED MIDGET: Come on Sammy get up on that table and dance! BILL BUCKLEY: Tidal Wave bounces off the ropes tries for a savat kick, but Eli moves out of the way!! And TW landed on the top rope, racking himself! SAMMY BENSON: Red knows that feeling don't ya RED! (laughs) BILL BUCKLEY: Eliminator gets Pee Troutman's attention, as IVY canes the living daylights out of Tidal Wave! Eliminator whips Tidal Wave into the ropes, flying clothesline! RED MIDGET: The big man, he..he doesn't look good. BILL BUCKLEY: Eli signals to POISON IVY, and there it is! THE ELIMINATOR!!! He's ended many matches, with that move! Tidal Wave, gives in!! ELI WAS WON IT! SAMMY BENSON: Tidal Wave, and win...they don't go together! BILL BUCKLEY: NO, they don't....fans we'll be back with more! BILL BUCKLEY: It's good to see Eliminator back, and winning again! He's not in the World tournament, but you can bet you're bottom dollar that he'll be in the hunt for a title shot real soon! RED MIDGET: For a second there, Buckley I was afraid you were going to tell us that he lost his smile, or something like that.. SAMMY BENSON: RED, you know we're all a little dumber just from hearing you tonight... just my two cents. BILL BUCKLEY: I hate my life.. ============================================================ Shane Southern vs Al Barton BILL BUCKLEY: Shane Southern has Barton in a headlock, as this one is underway! Barton sends Southern to the ropes, and whips him across the ring, clothesline by Barton! Al stomping away at Shane! SAMMY BENSON: I know what would spice this match up a little, TERI MELTON! RED MIDGET: Yes! She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me.. BILL BUCKLEY: Um....not! Barton directs Southern to the corner, and rams his shoulder into Shane's gut! Al, shoots Southern across the ring and into the opposite turnbuckle! Barton follows, but Shane catches him with a boot to the head! SAMMY BENSON: Say that three times fast... RED MIDGET: That three times fast.. BILL BUCKLEY: One of these days, RED.... Southern quickly goes up top...flying dropkick! Barton wasn't ready for that one! The man that says he's all business, is in a little trouble right now! SAMMY BENSON: Teri! Teri! Will you marry me now?!! BILL BUCKLEY: Southern,hooks the tights, slingshot suplex! ONE...TWO...NO! Barton kicks out! Southern again goes for a suplex, but Barton blocks it..."All Business" with a vertical suplex! RED MIDGET: Go Midget! Go Midget! (looks at Bill and sammy) I just don't get it, do I? BILL BUCKLEY: Barton is going to the top turnbuckle!! He's looking to finish the deal right now! This could be dangerous... Southern is up, and gets there before Al can do anything! Shane pops him in the mouth! Both men, battling up on the top turnbuckle! Barton nails in the head, and Southern falls back!! Barton off the top with a leg drop, but he misses!! SAMMY BENSON: He waited too long, the rookie..they're all idiots! BILL BUCKLEY: I thought he had him..Southern has Barton set up, POWERBOMB!!! He flips over, hooks the legs, and bridges up! ONE......TWO...........THREE!!! Shane Southern wins it! SAMMY BENSON: Barton will learn in time...either that or he'll stay stupid, like RED over here. BILL BUCKLEY: We'll be back! BB: The RCA Dome is on fire, folks, and I do mean HOT! SB: Oh Lord, next he's gonna start yelling, "Indianapolis, are you ready to ROCK!?" RM: (hiccups) Good one, Sammy. SB: Are you drunk, Red? RM: You better believe it, Lardo. SB: Doesn't this constitute dereliction of duty or something, Buckley....at least that's what you're always telling me when I have a nip or two. Can't we get him fired? BB: Just drop it, Sammy. Folks, we've seen the return of the Eliminator with an impressive win coming back to the CSWA after a knee injury...and then two incredible young athletes in Shane Southern and Al Barton, with Southern barely pulling out the big win. Up next, we've got one young superstar and three seasoned veterans. Let's head down to Rhubarb Jones for the introductions of our only tag team head-to-head matchup of the night. RJ: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is one fall with a thirty-minute time limit. (Cueup: "Blur The Technicolor" by Whit Zombie) First, introducing this young man from Pittsburgh, PA. He stands at six feet tall, two hundred sixty pounds. He has hit the CSWA by storm, he is "THE ERADICATOR" TROY MARTINEZZZZZZZZZZ!!!! His partner is from the home of the Rock 'N Roll Hall of Fame, Cleveland, Ohio, and weights in at two hundred ninety pounds. He is the former NWC World and UFC Champion, and a member of the Elite Eight remaining in the CSWA World Championship Tournament. Here is "MAD" JOE MASSACRE!!!!!!! Together, they are the team of KILLER INSTINCT!!! BB: This crowd likes these two men a lot! They've both only been in the CSWA a short time, but they've made waves early on, Martinez in his battles with Bonecrusher, and Massacre with his Franchise-ending win over Scotty Michaels. RJ: Their opponents are members of the Jenkins World Order. (postapocalyptic music plays, yadda yadda yadda) First, hailing from Parts Unknown, this giant of a man is a CSWA veteran. I've been told to read that he is best known as the three-time United States/National Champion and one of the few men to pin Mark Windham's shoulders to the mat not once but TWICE, he is BONECRUSHER!!!!! SB: The jWo gave Rhubarb introductions to read? BB: What can ya say? RM: (hiccups) BB: Thanks, Red, what poignant insight. RJ: His tag team partner hails from San Antonio, Texas, stands at five feet eleven inches and three hundred sixty-five pounds. I have been told to announce him as the last man to hold the Enterprise World Heavyweight Championship before its disgrace, a feat he did on two seperate occasions here in the CSWA. He is the man with the Strongest Arms In The World....here is GUNS!!!!!!!! SB: The jWo sure is full of itself, isn't it? BB: I think these two men were full of themselves long before the jWo. RM: But.....where's GUNS? BB: Good question. His partner doesn't seem to know either! BB: Martinez, Massacre, and Bonecrusher are all in the ring, but there's still no sign of GUNS. Wait, Rhubarb Jones has just been handed some sort of announcement. RJ: Ladies and gentlemen, I have been asked to announce that due to his recent incarceration and the personal trauma that GUNS is going through with his family, he will not be participating in this contest. SB: What?! BB: Bonecrusher looks as surprised as we are! He's asking for the house mic. Bonecrusher: Listen up punks! Yeah, all of you. Looks like GUNS has some personal business to attend to....well, that's not gonna stop me from taking care of my own business....and you better believe...it's personal. Let's get this show on the road....NOW! BB: It looks like Bonecrusher is going to wrestle this one as a handicap match. But what puzzles me is.....if GUNS knew he wasn't going to be wrestling...why isn't there another jWo member out here to take his place? SB: Well, I heard he just got out of jail in the last day or so...he might not have had time to evaluate the situation. BB: I don't buy that, Sammy. Anyway, this match is underway. SB: Is Red still alive over there? Oh Lord, I think he's snoring.....he drank the whole forty!!! I knew this freak liked to drink, but he's a midget for goodness' sakes, it could kill him! Wait a minute, what am I saying....somebody bring the midget another drink! BB: It looks like Troy Martinez is going to start things off for the team of Killer Instinct. This team recently threw their names in the hat as part of the Robert W. Ryder Invitational Tag Team Tournament taking place next month. SB: Isn't it Robert D. Ryder? BB: Shut up, Sammy. Martinez and Bonecrusher lock up, and the big man pushes Martinez into the neutral turnbuckle. BC quickly follows in, but Martinez is too quick, dodging the shoulder and body of Bonecrusher. Martinez gets behind Bonecrusher and pulls him to the mat. He rolls him up in an inside cradle! ONE.......no, Bonecrusher kicks out!!! Martinez pulls Bonecrusher up and snap mares him to the ropes, big DROPKICK by the young man! He quickly tags in Massacre, and now the two are double-teaming on Bonecrusher, sending him down to the mat with some brutal kicks to the back and midsection. These guys are out for blood from Bonecrusher. SB: They're called Killer Instinct for a reason, Buckley. BB: Apparently so. Massacre drops the elbow on the back of Bonecrusher, and then pulls BC to his feet. Massacre reaches high in the sky for that neck of Bonecrusher's...... and he drops the big man with an inverted DDT!!! Once again, there's the tag by Killer Instinct, and this time Martinez heads up top. Massacre climbs to the second ropes, scoops up Martinez, and slams him down on Bonecrusher!!! I've never seen anything like that before! SB: But I've got a bad feeling that I've seen those two guys coming down the arena stairs before! (Killer Instinct/Bonecrusher continues) BB: What? Inside the ring, Martinez pulls Bonecrusher up, whips him into the ropes, but Bonecrusher comes off with a crossbody! MARTINEZ DUCKS!!!! Bonecrusher goes through the ropes, but he catches the referee with that huge wingspan! Referee Ben Worthington goes down hard in the corner! SB: And when the cat's away.....the jWo will play! BB: What ARE you talking about!? SB: Look who's climbing over the security rail! BB: It's BATTLESHIP and SUBMARINE!!! The ARMED FORCES! They're part of the jWo....but what are they doing here!? They were banned from the CSWA! SB: Banned or not, they're in the house, and they're climbing in the ring!!!! BB: Or at least Battleship is! Martinez and Massacre have their eyes peeled on Battleship, and they don't even see Submarine as he pulls Massacre off the apron! Massacre just cracked his head on the ring apron...and a follow-up DDT by Submarine sure isn't gonna help him recover! In the ring, Martinez caught Battleship with a dropkick, and now the two men are all over each other, fists flying. Here comes Battleship to help out his partner, and now Martinez is in some serious trouble!!! They are all over the young man! SB: Bonecrusher is just now coming to outside! He sees the Armed Forces in the ring, and he's got the Cliq sign raised high above his head. He's climbing back in the ring for his shot at Martinez. BB: The Armed Forces return the sign, and they stop their battering on Martinez. They've backed off to allow their buddy Bonecrusher some one-on-one time with the rookie! Somebody's gotta stop this!!! Bonecrusher pulls Martinez to his feet.....he's gonna powerbomb the kid! NO!!! Submarine just clipped Bonecrusher's knee!? What's he doing!? Bonecrusher goes down, and Battleship's knee goes down on the back of Bonecrusher's neck! What are they doing!? SB: They're PUNKING Bonecrusher! BB: That explains why GUNS no-showed. But is he really here? And will he compete in the World Tournament match against Virile? SB: The bigger question is: will Bonecrusher make it to HIS next match!? BB: Submarine power slams Bonecrusher while Battleship comes off the ropes and drops the boot on his throat. They're setting the big man up for something....they send Bonecrusher into the ropes.....OH MY LORD!!! THEY JUST CATAPULTED BONECRUSHER OVER THE TOP TO THE OUTSIDE! They both grabbed an arm and used Bonecrusher's momentum off the ropes to hurl him over the top! He didn't hit the third row, but he DID hit the security railing. They may have just injured his back seriously....in fact, if they didn't, I'll be amazed. We've got to get some help for Bonecrusher out here. It looks like the Armed Forces are done, they're climbing out of the ring and making their way down the aisle. But someone's coming down the aisle to meet them.....it's Co-Commissioner Merritt!!! What's going on here!? (continued) BB: What's Merritt doing out there? Was he behind all this?! SB: He looks mad, Buckley....he was the one who banned Armed Forces from the CSWA to begin with. (in the aisle) Merritt: (yelling) What are you two doing here!? I told you never to step foot in a CSWA arena again! I'll have you locked up so quick that you won't know what hit you. Sub: I don't think so, Chaddy. In fact, you'll be lucky if you get outta here without us punking you. Merritt: Go for it, buddy. That'll just tack on 5-10 years instead of thirty days. Battleship: He doesn't get it, Sub. He really doesn't get it. Sub: Should we tell him? (Co-Commissioner Thomas steps up to the discussion in the aisle) Thomas: No, guys, why don't you let me. Merritt: YOU! You did this!? You can't be serious! Thomas: Aw, what's wrong 'Enforcer,' can't handle the heat? You sent these guys packing without so much as a how-dya-do over a year ago. Well, I decided it was time to beef up the tag division around here. You wanted to strip all the champs, you wanted to go on a hiatus to get things settled.....well, here another change for ya. And I hope you choke on it. Merritt: I'm not done with you yet, any of you. Tard, you're gonna regret this....I'm gonna make sure of it. BB: Co-Commish Merritt has stormed back down the aisle. We're being told that Killer Instinct will win this match by disqualification, obviously because of the interference by the Armed Forces. We're gonna send Stan Parsons backstage to hopefully get us a live interview with the newly-reinstated Armed Forces in the lockerroom after the event. What a setup we saw, Sammy. SB: Hey, it's the jWo. They don't care who you are or what you are. BB: Fans, I'm being told in my earpiece that both Martinez and Massacre suffered minor injuries. Martinez is just a bit bruised...while Massacre had to have a couple of stitches to close the gash in his head. We don't have any word on Bonecrusher, other than the fact that he's being taken away by ambulance. I'm gonna send things backstage where Rudy Seitzer is with CSWA officials. Rudy? RS: Thanks, Bill. Folks, I'm here with CSWA Vice-President Gregg Gethard. Gregg, how does what we've just seen affect the World Tournament. Gethard: Rudy, it's obvious that Bonecrusher is not going to be able to compete tonight. Troy Windham will win the match by countout. It's certainly not fair to Bonecrusher, but sometimes when you make your bed, you've gotta lie in it. RS: Gregg, any word on whether GUNS will be competing tonight? Gethard: I have no idea, Rudy. I know he made it in town, but I haven't heard any word on what his plans are. RS: Thanks, Gregg. Folks, before we sent you back to Bill, we're going to take a short commercial break. BB: CSWA SUPERPRIMETIME in Indianapolis is back. I'm still getting over what we just saw, Sammy. I've never seen Bonecrusher manhandled that way....and I never thought I'd see the Armed Forces in a CSWA ring again. SB: I never thought I'd have to sit beside a passed out drunk midget either....but sometimes life just doesn't work out the way we planned. BB: True enough....I've spent the last nine years of my life next to you, haven't I? SB: You're just not a very nice man, Buckley, has anybody ever told you that? BB: We're down to the nitty-gritty, fans. The quarterfinal round of the CSWA World Heavyweight Championship Tournament is up next. You heard the announcement by CSWA Vice-President Gregg Gethard....the first member of the FINAL FOUR will be Troy Windham, due to the injury sustained by Bonecrusher. SB: We all know he's the premiere slacker in the world, but come on, getting to the FINAL FOUR without even stepping in the ring....amazing. BB: Troy will meet the winner of the GUNS/Xavier Virile match up later tonight....that is, if GUNS decides to show up so that there can be a match. Right now, we're going to head to other side of the brackets where four men still remain. One is a brand new wrestler to the CSWA, a member of the Family, one is a mysterious masked man....but up now are two men who have seen their stars rise during 1996, and hope to see them go even higher here in 1997. They both want their ticket punched through to the FINAL FOUR. "MAD" JOE MASSACRE vs. 'BLAZIN' BILLY STARR CSWA World Heavyweight Tournament Third Round BB: Massacre should have the size and power advantage in this one, Sammy. SB: Sure, but Starr's got the memories of Teri Melton to push him along. Ya know, we talked about her earlier, but now I wanna know....WHERE IS TERI!? BB: I don't know, Sammy, we haven't seen Teri since late last year. SB: I knew I was missing something important here in '97. BB: This one is underway with referee Patrick Young officiating. Starr offers his hand, but Massacre simply eyes him as if to say, "Who the h*ll do you think I am?" The two circle each other before grappling in the middle of the ring. And it's Massacre who comes away with an armbar. Standing switch by Starr is short-lived, as Massacre powers out and sends Starr into the ropes. Leapfrog by Starr over Massacre as the former NWC World Champ sets up and nails a clothesline!! Starr wasn't able to duck out of that one! Massacre is quick to follow up, he's got a reverse chinlock applied and applied well on Billy Starr. Massacre may be out of it sometimes, but he's a consummate wrestler...he's got the technical expertise, and he knows that Starr's neck is his weak point. SB: Well sure it is....I mean after you've had guys like Wild Asian and Xavier Virile do a tap dance on your neck and send ya to the hospital for a month, ya can't expect anyone NOT to know about it. (CSWA World Tournament; Massacre/Starr continues) BB: "Mad" Joe Massacre still has that reverse chinlock hooked in tight on Starr. Billy Starr keeps making a move for the ropes, but Massacre's using his body weight to not only wear down that ailing neck of Starr's, but also to keep him right where he is. SB: Speaking of body weight....how much booze does it take to get a, say, eighty pound midget drunk? BB: There ya have it, folks, the proof that the math they teach you in school really *is* useful in later life, no matter what your profession. Starr is trying to get his legs under himself, but Massacre simply sits back on that chinlock and pulls....immediately stopping any headway made by Starr. Referee Patrick Young is making sure that the reverse chinlock doesn't turn into a choke, and monitoring for a submission. But now Young is signalling for the break, as Starr is able to reach out and get his left foot under the bottom rope. Massacre doesn't want to let up, he feels like it's only a matter of time. Young begins the five-count, and Massacre lets up at four, just before the disqualification. SB: No reason to get disqualified when you've got the gimp beat already. BB: Well, now there's a lesson for today's youth straight from Sammy Benson. Massacre pulls Starr up and sends him across, but Starr comes back across with a spinning kick that drops Massacre! I don't think I've ever seen anything like that out of Starr! SB: And you probably never will again....that's desperation. BB: Speaking of desperation, is there anyway we can stop Red from drooling on my notes? SB: Yeah, but Merritt would probably fire me for it. BB: Starr looks like he's got a second wind, he catches Massacre with an elbow, and now drops him with a belly to belly suplex! Huge move by Starr! He hooks the leg! ONE............no, Joe Massacre kicks out, and Starr goes flying. Massacre gets to his feet, but Starr is ready! CLOTHESLINE by Starr! Massacre is down, and Starr is headed up. He comes off the second rope with a high knee as Massacre tries to get up again! Starr covers once again! SB: Get up Joe! Get up! BB: ONE.........TWO....NO! Massacre kicks out, he's still in this one. What's wrong with you, Sammy? SB: I just don't like Starr. BB: Why's that? SB: Have I ever needed a reason in the past? BB: I guess not. Starr pulls Massacre up and whips him into the turnbuckle hard. Starr follows in with an elbow, driving the wind out of Massacre. Starr puts Massacre down to the mat and goes for the cover one more time. ONE.................TWO..................................... (Starr/Massacre continues) BB: NOOOOOO! Again, Massacre kicks out. And Starr does NOT look happy about it. SB: Poor Billy boy. BB: Again Starr pulls Massacre up, and again he sends him for the ride into the turnbuckle of that neutral corner. Starr comes in with the elbow, and Massacre gets the foot up! But Starr saw it coming!!! He faked the run-in!!! And now he does the real run-in, catching Massacre with the knee!!!! Massacre's woozy in the corner, Starr hops up on the second rope to the right side of the turnbuckle and brings big Joe Massacre down with a bulldog! Huge move by Starr!!! And again he goes for the cover! ONE............ TWO.........NO! AGAIN, Massacre powers out. Starr just can't keep him down! Starr makes a motion like he's gonna try it one more time. This time he sends Massacre into the ropes....Massacre ducks the clothesline, Starr leapfrogs Massacre on the second go-round....Starr comes off for a flying body press....MASSACRE CATCHES HIM!!!! POWER SLAM BY MASSACRE!!! He hooks the leg.....ONE................... TWO..............THREE!!!! This one is OVER! Joe Massacre joins Troy Windham in the FINAL FOUR!!!! Unbelievable matchup between these two! SB: Made all the better by the fact that Massacre won AND Red is still passed out. BB: You said it, not me. Joe Massacre moves on, and he'll face the winner of this next match. The Elite Eight moves on its inevitable course to the FINAL FOUR. SB: Stop babbling and get on with it, Buckley. VITO GRECO vs. MASKED MAN #3 CSWA World Championship Tournament Third Round BB: Both these men entered this tournament in Atlanta as relative unknowns, Sammy, and both quickly won two matches straight. SB: Well, Greco may be a relative unknown, but we all know who's under that mask. BB: I don't....and if you do, then you've got better information than I do. SB: You know what I'm talking about, Buckley, just watch. Greco may be good, but I don't know if he's that good. BB: We're about to find out shortly. RM: (raises head) Huh? SB: Oh Lord, he's waking up. BB: I said 'shortly' Red, not 'shorty.' Go back to sleep. RM: Unhhhh....where am I? SB: Munchkinland.....now go follow the yellow brick road. RM: Shut up, Sammy. Did anybody get the number of the truck that hit me? SB: Yeah, the license plate said Schlitz. BB: Come on, Red, you're slobbering on my notebook, move over. Sorry, folks, it looks like we're ready to get this one underway. SB: I think that's your fourth or fifth hundred apology for Red tonight. BB: He can help that he's an alcoholic. RM: I am *not* an alcoholic....I just like to drink. SB: The first step is admitting you have a problem. RM: Listen, I may be short....I may be.... SB: There ya go, the second step is going far, far away from here. RM: Shut up. BB: The bell has rung, and Greco steps forward to match up against Masked Man #3. The masked man looks a little smaller than Greco. In his first two matches, we saw that the mask seemed to affect his movement around the ring, he's obviously not used to it. SB: You think we could get Red to wear a mask all the time? RM: Don't talk about me like I'm not here. SB: Sorry, thought you had passed out again. BB: Greco locks up with the Masked Man, but quickly whips him into the turnbuckle chest-first! Greco catches the masked man from behind.....that's his blind side, and quickly scoops him up for a belly to back suplex. Greco pulls the smaller man up quickly and sends him back down with a power slam. Greco doesn't go for the early cover, instead he backs up to the ropes and measures the masked man for an elbow....but he misses as Masked Man #3 rolls out of the way. I didn't expect the masked man to be able to get out the way like that without his peripheral vision. SB: Well, he's always been known to do more than he should. BB: I really think you're wrong about who this is. The Masked Man is on his feet, he sends Greco for the ride and dumps him with a belly to belly suplex. Greco is up quickly, but the masked man slaps on the abdominal stretch! And Greco yells out in pain as the man in the mask sits down on it! SB: I'm telling you...that's all the proof you need. BB: Whatever you say, Sammy. Greco grabs hold of the ropes, breaking the hold, but Masked Man #3 is ready. He clips the knee of Greco and cinches in a step-over-toe hold in a couple of seconds flat! SB: Why do you keep calling him Masked Man #3? BB: Um....because #1 and #2 have already been eliminated. SB: Very funny, Buckley. BB: Greco pulls himself over and is able to get one hand on the ropes. Patrick Young calls for the break, and the man in the mask steps away. Greco is wobbly getting to his feet....Masked Man #3 is setting him up......he runs from the other side of the ring and levels Greco with a CLOTHESLINE! Greco almost did a complete flip!!! The masked man covers and hooks the leg! ONE................... TWO..............THREE. This one is OVER. And it all means that Joe Massacre and Masked Man #3 will meet in the semifinals as part of the FINAL FOUR. We know that Troy Windham will meet either GUNS or Xavier Virile....the question is....will GUNS show up for his match? It's next! BILL BUCKLEY: We're down to our last two matches of the night! Three men have already moved into the FINAL FOUR, now either GUNS or Xavier Virile will be the final and fourth man to do so! SAMMY BENSON: Troy Windham, Joe Massacre, and Masked Man #3 have all advanced they'll be joined by a steriod ridden freak, or a kid who wants to kill himself, but is too much of a coward to get the job done! Heck, just find a building and throw youself off a ledge.. BILL BUCKLEY: Sammy, please! Stop, I mean we wouldn't want you to give RED any ideas... (laughing) RED MIDGET: I hate you both, immensely! ============================================================ GUNS VS XAVIER VIRILE CSWA World Tourney BILL BUCKLEY: GUNS is here, and making his way down the aisleway! He didn't show up for his tag match, eariler, but he's here now! SAMMY BENSON: Apparently he was too distraught over his family problems to make it to the ring, I don't buy it.. BILL BUCKLEY: You don't have too, just look at him. Obiviously he's not the same GUNS he was a few months ago! He's not a show anymore, Sammy..he looks depressed! RED MIDGET: How can you tell?? BILL BUCKLEY: Ref Ben Worthington checks GUNS' boots for any illegal objects... and Virile uses that to jump on GUNS! Xavier is going to town, he's got a deathwish alright! SAMMY BENSON: Especially if he keeps this up with GUNs, in his condition I don't think he's to be angered! BILL BUCKLEY: Virile shoots GUNS into the ropes, flying elbow! Mygoodness, the former ENTERPRISE WORLD CHAMPION might have lost some teeth! RED MIDGET: How can you tell? BILL BUCKLEY: Virile, belly to back suplex! Now a quick cover, ONE....TWO......NO!! GUNS gives him a shot to the groin! GUNS takes Xavier by the head, and rams him into one turnbuckle!! Now another!! And a third!!! Finally, the 4th!! Virile, falls to his knees! GUNS kicks him in the head, and Virile falls face down! SAMMY BENSON: Xavier may be killed before the night is out! RED MIDGET: I wish I could say the same for you.. BILL BUCKLEY: GUNS fires Virile into the ropes, he caught him! Side slam! GUNS off the ropes, SHOULDERBLOCK! Virile has been hit with an ambush of offensive in a matter of seconds! RED MIDGET: Bill, is what Sammy doing right now, considered 'juicing'? BILL BUCKLEY: Holy cow, Benson get your mind off Teri! SAMMY BENSON: Huh? (GUNS/Virile cont...) BILL BUCKLEY: Virile staggers to his feet...GUNS measures him bounces off the ropes, but Xavier catches him with a superkick! RED MIDGET: Turn out the lights the party is over! Come on people, do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight...get down tonight! SAMMY BENSON: Stop or I'll kill you! BILL BUCKLEY: Swinging neck breaker by Virile! Xavier wasting no time, he's got GUNS in a Boston Crab!!! No way he'll get GUNS to submit, but still....anymore like this has to wear on the big man! SAMMY BENSON: Sooner or later, the man is going to have to cheat...reach down deep and pull out something illegal! BILL BUCKLEY: Will you stop. Virile doing everything he can to get more pressure on the back of GUNS! He gets impatient though and releases the hold! RED MIDGET: That could be a mistake..you see a Midget Wrestler would never be so stupid! BILL BUCKLEY: Yeah..yeah. Virile backs GUNS into a corner, and he's just letting the fists go! Those battles with Randalls sure did some good, he's not backing down from GUNS a bit! Right now, he looks like he's on his way to the FINAL FOUR! SAMMY BENSON: We might have to put a suicide watch on him if he does win, to make sure he makes it to the FINAL FOUR! BILL BUCKLEY: Stop it! GUNS battles back! A right hand! He blocks a left by Virile, and rocks Xavier with a forearm! GUNS places Xavier on the top rope...now he climbs up there! GUNS and Virile standing on the top turnbuckle! GUNS has a hold of Virile, TOP ROPE BELLY TO BELLY! (crowd pops) SAMMY BENSON: I think the ring moved about two inches on that one...yikes BILL BUCKLEY: Virile is hurt, and hurt badly! GUNS can smell the kill...either that or he smells you Sammy! He's got Virile up, and he places him on the top rope, facing the crowd! SAMMY BENSON: This can't be good for Virile... RED MIDGET: Midget powers deactivate! BILL BUCKLEY: GUNS goes outside then climbs to the top... is he going to try what I think he is??? He is!! GUNS POWERBOMBS VIRILE FROM THE TOP ROPE, HOLY SNIKEES! SAMMY BENSON: If he's not dead, he may be in a few seconds.. BILL BUCKLEY: GUNS, covers...ONE......TWO......THREE!! "The Strongest Arms in the World" GUNS has won, and he moves on to the FINAL FOUR!! RED MIDGET: Come on GUNS get up on that table and dance! BILL BUCKLEY: GUNS doesn't celebrate too much, in fact he's walking out of the ring and back to the dressing rooms with a cold look on his face! He's thinking about his family, Sammy.. SAMMY BENSON: Yeah, I'm touched....now bring out Teri! BILL BUCKLEY: What a card so far Sammy! The CSWA World Tournament is now done to FOUR wrestlers!! The FINAL FOUR! GUNS, Troy Windham, Joe Massacre, and the mysterious Masked Man #3! SAMMY BENSON: We know who it is, Buckley. The CSWA has been flooded with masked men for the last few months! It's no secret who this joke is! RED MIDGET: The only joke around here is you, larda-- BILL BUCKLEY: RED! Contain yourself. The fans here in INDY have gotten their money's worth tonight! However, we're not done yet. It's time for our MAIN EVENT! ============================================================ FAMINE VS 'DEVASTING' MIKE RANDALLS NO DQ, NO COUNTOUT, PINFALLS COUNT EVERYWHERE BILL BUCKLEY: Simply put Sammy, anything goes in this match! If it's not bolted down, chances are it'll be used as a weapon! SAMMY BENSON: I'm not sure if it's safe to be in the arena right now. Buckley, these two men could pin each other in the bathroom, or in the parking lot! RED MIDGET: Or on my car! For goodness sakes' it's a rental! SAMMY BENSON: Shut up, you know you can't drive.. BILL BUCKLEY: Randalls was the last one to enter the ring, this WAR is about to get underway! RED, we all know what Randalls has done, but what about this Famine guy? RED MIDGET: He's a midget killer we all know it! SAMMY BENSON: We could only be so lucky. Nobody knows Bucklet, where this guy has been for the past two years! He's kept us all in the dark. But, my sources tell me that he's been roaming the earth, posing as a Solid Gold dancer looking for work! RED MIDGET: Oh that's possible... BILL BUCKLEY: You both make me sick....well, wherever he's been he certainly wasn't working on his sense of humor! He looks serious! There's the bell, and I think I speak for everyone when I say....god help us all! RED MIDGET: I'm going to go move my car...just in case. SAMMY BENSON: Take your time....and don't worry about looking both ways. BILL BUCKLEY: Randalls isn't wasting any time! Mike stuns Famine with a kick to the gut, whips him across the ring, dropkick! SAMMY BENSON: That one was right on the mush! Mush boy, mush! BILL BUCKLEY: The UNIFIED WORLD CHAMPION, is going for kill right here...POWERBOMB! Famine, I'm sure didn't feel something like that for the last two years! RED MIDGET: American wit...how I hate it. (FAMINE/Randalls cont..) BILL BUCKLEY: Randalls really rocked Famine with that powerbomb! Or so it seemed..Famine sweeps Mikey's right leg...and now he's on top biting him! RED MIDGET: He's a savage, a bloody savage! SAMMY BENSON: And the Oscar goes to... RED MIDGET: Hush. BILL BUCKLEY: Famine brings Randalls to his feet, and delivers a forearm to his face! Sammy, I think that broke Mikey's nose, he's bleeding like a pig! SAMMY BENSON: Ohdear...here comes lunch.. BILL BUCKLEY: Famine sends Randalls face first into the turnbuckle! One more time! This time, Randalls reaches back and fires an elbow of his own, I THINK THAT ONE SHATTERED FAMINE'S NOSE! RED MIDGET: He's a savage, a bloody savage! BILL BUCKLEY: Randalls now throwing his own head into the turnbuckle! I think he's a little confused, you're not suppose to hurt yourself! SAMMY BENSON: Ah, he's not hurt Buckley! He's pumping himself up, in some sick way! BILL BUCKLEY: Famine bounces of the ropes, clotheslines Randalls and they both go over the top rope! Both men hit hard on the concrete floor! RED MIDGET: They're savages---- SAMMY BENSON:(grabs RED's neck) I swear I'll do it, just like El Nino did! BILL BUCKLEY: Both men have chairs...Randalls rams his into Famine's stomach! Now, it's broken over his head! He just broke a metal chair over the man's head for crying outloud! SAMMY BENSON: I wonder if that'll work on RED.. BILL BUCKLEY: Randalls throws Famine over the guard rail and into the fans! Famine with a shot to the groin! That slowed the UNIFIED Champion a bit! Famine slams him on the aisle way stairs! RED MIDGET: Bill, if the fans get bloodied, can we be sued? BILL BUCKLEY: Don't think so..but just in case, Sammy call Anderson!...Famine and Randalls are wailing away on each other! Randalls rakes him in the eyes, and now begins to lead him up the stairs! SAMMY BENSON: Get a camera on'em boys! BILL BUCKLEY: Famine throws Mike into a concrete wall! He backs up, OHMYGoodness he just tried a shooting star prees, and missed! RED MIDGET: These two aren't sane are they? SAMMY BENSON: Uh, no.. (FAMINE/Randalls cont...) BILL BUCKLEY: Famine just shot himself into the wall, holymidget! Randalls picks him up, and uses him as a battering ram into the wall! Famine's head is cut wide open! SAMMY BENSON: This isn't getting any prettier! RED MIDGET: Certainly not with you here... BILL BUCKLEY: Randalls now leads Famine through the aisle! They're out sight, but we've got a camera on'em! Randalls throws Famine head first through a storage door! Security are doing the best they can to keep the fans out of harms way! Famine shoots out of the storage room with a boom in hand! RED MIDGET: He's got a little trash to clean up! BILL BUCKLEY: Famine nails Randalls in the gut, he's got the broom over his head, OHMY he broke it over Mike's head! Randalls drops to his knees, as Famine grabs one half of the broken broom, wraps it around Randalls' neck and begins choking him out! SAMMY BENSON: Randalls has had his nose broken, he's bleeding like there's no tomorrow, and now the man is being choked to death....he's got to be close to saying those words, "I QUIT"! RED MIDGET: Midget killer or not, Famine is about to beat the UNIFIED WORLD CHAMPION! BILL BUCKLEY: Randalls has his face buried in the concrete, Famine looks pleased..as Mike isn't moving! SAMMY BENSON: Wait a second, Mr.Nuts is starting to move! BILL BUCKLEY: Randalls is on all fours...he's turning blue for goodness sakes! Randalls on his feet, as Famine is riding on his back still choking him with the broom!!! RED MIDGET: Kids please get your parents permission before you try this at home! BILL BUCKLEY: Randalls, backs up and throws himself backwards, they go through a table!!!! A table that was papered with autographs and t-shirts! Finally, Famine lets go of the choke! SAMMY BENSON: Randalls isn't stopping to gain his composure either..he's going right to work! BILL BUCKLEY: Mike grabs Famine by the hand, and throws him into a consession stand! Randalls has a big tub of mustard and he smacks Famine over the head with it! RED MIDGET: He's covered in mustard! Sammy no! You've already had enough to eat! SAMMY BENSON: I hate you.. BILL BUCKLEY: Randalls is on top of the counter!! He flies off, but Famine catches him!! OHMY!! Famine powerslams him into the popcorn machine! SAMMY BENSON: I need food.. BILL BUCKLEY: Famine now has got a chair, he's fighting his way through the crowd! He backs up, gets a running start..bounces off the chair and delivers a clothesline on Randalls!! (FAMINE/Randalls cont...) BILL BUCKLEY: Both men covered in food! Randalls rakes the eyes, and throws Famine's face on the hotdog grill!! Famine is being cooked!! SAMMY BENSON: Don't say it RED, or I'll kill you.. BILL BUCKLEY: Randalls throws Famine back over the counter! Here's the pin, ONE.....TWO....NO!! Randalls leads Famine into the women's bathroom!! SAMMY BENSON: Ohmygoodness there's Teri Melton! Teri superkicks both men! Famine throws Randalls into the men's bathroom! I guess she didn't want vistors! RED MIDGET: What was she doing in there?? BILL BUCKLEY: Famine throws Randalls face first into a bathroom mirror and it shatters! WAIT A SECOND!! Mark Windham comes out of one of the bathroom stalls! Windham clotheslines Famine! SAMMY BENSON: Randalls called for backup!! BILL BUCKLEY: No he didn't! Windham clotheslines Randalls as well, what's going on!! Mark has Randalls set up, POWERBOMB ONTO A SINK! RED MIDGET: That's...That's not good. BILL BUCKLEY: TIMMY WINDHAM COMES BURSTING INTO THE ROOM, AND TACKLES WINDHAM! Randalls is getting to his feet... he's going after Windham!! SAMMY BENSON: Is that Troy? BILL BUCKLEY: Troy Windham is in there...he attacks Randalls! They're all going after one another! Randalls on Mark!! I don't believe this, fans we're out of time!! We'll see you soon!! We'll see you in New Orleans!!!!