CSWA SHOWTIME in Kansas City June 7, 1996 ----------------------------- (CSWA Logo appears on the screen, catches fire, and then explodes into tiny pieces) FADEIN TO: Bill Buckley and the Red Midget BILL BUCKLEY: HELLO Everyone I'm Bill Buckley and as always I'm joined by my freakish friend, the RED Midget! RED MIDGET: Watch it goo boy! BILL BUCKLEY: We are LIVE from Kemper Arena, in Kansas City! It's CSWA SHOWTIME!!! We're going to see 5 great matches tonight!! RED MIDGET: None of which involve midgets.... BILL BUCKLEY: Acutally RED, one does! The Generation X-Press will meet the Disco Express, who are managed by the Disco Midget! RED MIDGET: YES!! Disco Midget, the greatest manager in CSWA history! BILL BUCKLEY: Let's not go that far. RED, tonight we're going to see several interesting match-ups. It'll all be topped off by our big 6-man tag MAIN EVENT!! Tom Adler, GUNS, and Mike Randalls we'll take on America's Team! RED MIDGET: Tom Adler was suppose to wrestle! But, he won't be able to! BILL BUCKLEY: That's right, RED. As most of you know, Tom Adler was handcuffed to a limo, and drug around for a few miles! It's our understand that he's got a bruised right shoulder, and will miss a couple of weeks of action! RED, I can't believe that HORNET would do something like this, Windham yes..but not HORNET! RED MIDGET: First off, there's no proof! BILL BUCKLEY: Please! Like it just happened to be his limo! This was just a sick, sick act! RED MIDGET: Until you or anyone in the CSWA, can prove that HORNET and Windham did this, you've got no right to accuse them! BILL BUCKLEY: Since when do you become their lawyer? This little stunt has caused serious problems! The <>Cutters have dropped their EN World tag belts, Storm and Bailey have pulled out of the Winning Streaks...but worst of all, I'm afraid we may have a full scale war on our hands! RED MIDGET: I'll tell you what I think it is..I think Adler staged this himself! BILL BUCKLEY: Oh please! That's the weakest thing I've heard in a while! RED MIDGET: I'm serious Bill! Midgets are never wrong! BILL BUCKLEY: Well, you are this time!....We've got to take a break, but when we come back..our first match-up of the night! ---------------------------------------------------------- BILL BUCKLEY: We're back! Our first match, pits Jagger Van Justice against Bonecrusher! RED MIDGET: Bonecrusher, had an awful 6 months...but he's out of his slump! At Boston he really took it too Justice! BC is back, and the CSWA better be ready! BILL BUCKLEY: That may be true, but let's not discredit the new kid on the block! Jagger Van Justice! He won his debut match, and then took BC to the limit! I'll tell freako, Justice will be served in the CSWA for a long while! RED MIDGET: Boy, you just couldn't resist could you... big people, you're all the same! BILL BUCKLEY: Stuff it.... ============================================================ Jagger Van Justice vs Bonecrusher BILL BUCKLEY: These two have already signed a match for BATTLE OF THE BELTS, but the fans wanted to see them hook up before then! RED MIDGET: I don't see why, personally I'd rather see Teri Melton, dipped in.... BILL BUCKLEY: That's enough, Arnold! There's the bell, and its' Justice with a kick to the mid-section! Justice throws Bonecrusher up against the ropes, and clotheslines him over!! OHMY RED MIDGET: He's being manhandled already! Jagger is fighting with the spirit of 100 midgets! BILL BUCKLEY: Justice oustide the ropes, walking on the apron, leaps off and nails BC with a shoulderblock! The force of that blow, sent the former USN champion back first into the iron railing! RED MIDGET: I need a drink..... BILL BUCKLEY: Jagger picks BC up, and lays him down, over the iron railing! Talk about a crotch shot! He won't be using that tonight! RED MIDGET: What's it to you anyway? BILL BUCKLEY: Shut up!....Justice has a chair, but BC slows him with a savat! Bonecrusher has the chair, and he wraps it around Jagger's head! RED MIDGET: That'll leave a mark... BILL BUCKLEY: Bonecrusher rolls inside the ring to break the 10 count, and now rolls back out...there's a bodyslam on the outside! This is getting nasty already! RED MIDGET: You're telling me, I just ran out of chips! BILL BUCKLEY: I hate you... RED MIDGET: I know. (Justice/BC cont....) BILL BUCKLEY: Bonecrusher jams the chair into Jagger's left knee! He's getting back to the old style of BC wrestling! It's been a while, but RED I believe you're right, the man is back! RED MIDGET: I told you...MIDGETS are never wrong! BILL BUCKLEY: BC with a bulldog, but Jagger has him up...belly to back!! Luckily for him there's the padding! Uh oh..I shouldn've said that....Justice is removing the padding! He's going for a piledriver, onto the CEMENT FLOOR!! RED MIDGET: It's over, it's really, really over! BILL BUCKLEY: Bonecrusher kicks out, and he drops Jagger! Listen to these fans, here in Kansas City! They love it, you won't find action like this anywhere else! RED MIDGET: That's right, the CSWA: Where Midgets drive limos! BILL BUCKLEY: Don't help......Jagger to his feet, and he's dropped with a clothesline! What force! Bonecrusher grabs Jagger's head, and rams it into the iron post! This is a war! RED MIDGET: It's all good! BILL BUCKLEY: BC again with the chair! Once again he rolls into the ring to break the count! BC sets Justice against the iron post....Bonecrusher charges Justice, but Jagger moves out of the way and BC clotheslines the post! RED MIDGET: Ouch.. BILL BUCKLEY: Justice DDTs BC!! What a move! Jagger picks BC up, and throws him head first into the metal steps! Jagger now picks up the stairs, and drops them on BC's head! RED MIDGET: This is getting just a tad physical! BILL BUCKLEY: Bonecrusher slows Jagger with a shot to the groin! There's a suplex right onto the iron railing! RED, the action has spent a total of 5 seconds in the ring tonight! RED MIDGET: Don't tell me your problems.. BILL BUCKLEY: Justice rakes the eyes...and throws BC over the railing, and into the crowd! They didn't pay for this, RED! RED MIDGET: They're peons Bill...peons! BILL BUCKLEY: Both men now, firing shots!! This one has gotten out of hand!! Ref Patrick Young calls for the bell, this one is a double countout!! RED MIDGET: Morons...you can't win the match on the outside!! BILL BUCKLEY: So far in two meetings, they've been counted out twice!! BATTLE OF THE BELTS, they do it for a 3rd time! I can't wait!! We've got to take a break, but we'll be right back with more CSWA SHOWTIME!! ----------------------------------------------------------- BILL BUCKLEY: I'll tell you, RED...I'm not sure if Justice and Bonecrusher have had some sort of past, but in two matches they've shown no love lost between the two of them! RED MIDGET: This is the big time, Bill! Once you're in the ring, you do what it takes to win, bottom line! It's not for the weak of heart... BILL BUCKLEY: Neither is seeing you with your shirt off, for goodness sakes' put it back on! RED MIDGET: You know you want it.. BILL BUCKLEY: I'm just about ready to dropkick you into next week! RED MIDGET: Punishment...I like it!! BILL BUCKLEY: Oh...... ============================================================ Matt Rosenthal vs Poison IVY BILL BUCKLEY: Rosenthal is making his way to ringside...OH LOOKOUT! There's IVY, she's not waiting for her music..she's got that cane..and she's tearing up Matt's hide with it! RED MIDGET: Some guys have the luck! BILL BUCKLEY: Would you stop! RED MIDGET: Sorry... BILL BUCKLEY: Rosenthal...hits the ring, and he runs right into Mr.Self-Destruct!! Rosenthal heads the other way, and there's IVY!! The crowd is loving every minute of it! IVY canes him....tosses the cane to Mr.Self-destruct, and he takes his shot....back and forth they go..it's like a game of ping pong! RED MIDGET: This is not funny! BILL BUCKLEY: IVY again with the cane...and Young calls for the bell! RED MIDGET: It's about freakin' time! BILL BUCKLEY: Rosenthal gets the DQ win!! But, he was beat to a bloody pulp!! RED MIDGET: The woman has got to be stopped, and I"m just man enough to do it!! BILL BUCKLEY: Stop kidding yourself....we're got to go for a sec, we'll be back with more! --------------------------------------------------------- BILL BUCKLEY: RED, you can come out from under the table now, IVY is gone! RED MIDGET: The woman is insane, Bill....what kind of freak comes out here swinging a cane!!?? BILL BUCKLEY: I'm not going to say she was right in doing it, but she and Rosenthal have had quite a battle for some time. RED MIDGET: Doesn't matter....I was THIS close to taking her out...I'm sick of her! BILL BUCKLEY: RED, I don't think you're man enough to take her out... RED MIDGET: Questioning my sexuality now?? BILL BUCKLEY: Geez... ============================================================ Billy Starr vs Heartbreaker GREENSBORO Title BILL BUCKLEY: The Champion, Billy Starr unstraps the belt..and we're underway! Starr and Heartbreaker lock horns in the center of the ring....Starr with a nice arm drag!! He's applauding the move! RED MIDGET: He should be, he's all that! BILL BUCKLEY: Starr ties up Heartbreaker again....and rams a knee into HB's gut! Starr with a Belly to Belly suplex! Here's the cover....ONE.....TWO...NO! Starr slaps HB's face! RED MIDGET: The punk deserves it..he kicked out! You don't do that against Billy Starr! BILL BUCKLEY: What kind of a freak are you? RED MIDGET: We don't have that kind of time... BILL BUCKLEY: The Greensboro Champion whips Heartbreaker to the ropes, Heartbreaker surprises starr with a flying body press! ONE...TWO..NO!! That was close! RED MIDGET: He had the tights!! BILL BUCKLEY: Hearbreaker, stays on top of Starr, appling a chin lock! That's what you want to do in this stituation RED, keep to pressure on the champ! RED MIDGET: You just now figured that out? BILL BUCKLEY: "Blazin" Billy manages to find the ropes....Ref Patrick Young calls for the break! Heartbrearker slips in a shot to the groin...whips Starr to the ropes, side-suplex! RED MIDGET: This match has take a turn for the worse.. BILL BUCKLEY: Heartbreaker going to the top rope!!! He's trying to end it all right here!!! RED MIDGET: Get up ya big goof! BILL BUCKLEY: Heartbreaker off the rope with a flying punch! That really hit home!! (Heartbreaker/Starr cont...) BILL BUCKLEY: Heartbreaker with the cover, we could have a new GREENSBORO champion!! ONE....TWO...TH-NO!!! So close! Starr manages to roll outside..he's got to regroup! RED MIDGET: Keep walking Billy! You don't need this kind of abuse! BILL BUCKLEY: OHMY!! Heartbreaker is on the top again..he just flew off the top.....but Starr moves out of the way, and HB hits nothing but the cement floor! RED MIDGET: Idiot... BILL BUCKLEY: Billy with a dropkick! You don't see that often, when a wrestler is on the floor! The Greensboro champion, rolls Heartbreaker back in the ring...a wise move, as we all know RED, a match can't be won outside of the ring! RED MIDGET: Unless it's a Pinfalls count anywhere match... BILL BUCKLEY: Billy executes a snap suplex! And he covers, ONE...TWO.....NO!! This kid from San Antonio, Texas showed a lot of heart by kicking out! RED MIDGET: He's on something...I bet you anything! BILL BUCKLEY: Would you stop...Starr goes for the figure 4, but Heartbreaker rolls him up for the cradle, ONE...TWO..NO! We almost had a new GREENSBORO champion right there! RED MIDGET: Please it was one and a half, if that much! BILL BUCKLEY: Starr isn't pleased that he almost just got pinned, he's taking it out on Heartbreaker! Stomping away at the kid! "Blazin" Billy hooks in the Abdominal stretch! RED MIDGET: There we go..let's inflict some pain!! I love this guy! BILL BUCKLEY: Heartbreaker, urges the crowd on....listen to this place! It's rocking!! RED MIDGET: Sit and shut up, all of you! BILL BUCKLEY: Heartbreaker reaches back,and flips Starr over!! He broke the Ad.Stretch!! HB leaps off the second rope, and has the sleeper hold!!! It's nighty night time for Starr!! RED MIDGET: Come on Billy, get that loser off your back!! Bite him, pull his hair..do anything!! BILL BUCKLEY: Starr takes a few giant steps, and drops down..HB's jaw pops Billy's head! That's gotta hurt! Billy wasting no time, he's got HB in a Full nelson.....DRAGONFLY SUPLEX!!! That's his move, RED!! RED MIDGET: I love it!! BILL BUCKLEY: Very causally he covers, ONE...TWO...THREE!!! That's all she wrote! The Greensboro champion retains the title!! RED MIDGET: Like Heartbreaker actually had a chance of winning it.. HA! ---------------------------------------------------------- BILL BUCKLEY: The action keeps coming! We just saw "Blazin" Billy Starr retain his Greensboro Heavyweight championship! And now we're getting ready to see the UNIFIED WORLD TAG TEAM champions, the Disco Express, in a non-title affair! RED MIDGET: Speaking of affairs... BILL BUCKLEY: Don't...just hold it right there! RED MIDGET: What'd I do? BILL BUCKLEY: Moving right along! Disco will be defending the titles at BATTLE OF THE BELTS XIV: Holy Smokes! But tonight they've got some business to take care of! Generation X-press, Shawn Matthews and Troy Windham are a newly formed tag team, but already they've accomplished a lot in other federations! RED MIDGET: That doesn't mean a thing, Bill! BILL BUCKLEY: I'm not sure what to think about two self-proclaimed slackers....I dunno. RED MIDGET: They're from Generation X...what else would you expect! They are simply the King of Slackers! Aside from that, they are the team of the future! ============================================================ Disco Express vs Generation X-Press BILL BUCKLEY: Shawn Matthews and Troy Windham are all over Disco before the match can even start! Shawn firing away at the Boogie Man!! Matthews whips Boogie to the ropes, Boogie ducks a clothesline attempt...and he nails one of his own! OHMY RED MIDGET: Remember that 20 midget battle royal!! Disco Midget and I got it on! If he comes over here, we'll do it again! BILL BUCKLEY: Big words from a little, little man! Boogie has Matthews in a side headlock...he whips him into the corner, follows with a clothesline, but Matthews gets the boot up! RED MIDGET: That's what I call, leaving your mark! BILL BUCKLEY: Shawn reaches over to his corner, and tags in Troy Windham! Windham with a rake of the eyes! Troy has a few choice words for the front row of fans...Windham with a swinging neckbreaker! RED MIDGET: Some people just have no class....they pay $100.00 for a front row ticket, but still that doesn't give them the right to talk like that! BILL BUCKLEY: Troy hooks the arms....Butterfly suplex! A quick tag, in comes Shawn Matthes, a bulldog!! The X-Press are working well together tonight! RED MIDGET: I told you, the team of the future! What else do I have to do, to convince you that Midgets are never wrong! BILL BUCKLEY: Say no more.. (Generation X-press/Disco Express cont...) BILL BUCKLEY: Shawn Matthews tags Troy Windham...Windham up top....Matthews drop toe hold....Windham off the top with a leg drop! Great teamwork! RED MIDGET: What time is it!!! It's Slacker time!! BILL BUCKLEY: Troy sends Boogie to the ropes, leapfrog over Windham, flying elbow!! It's Boogie time, RED!! RED MIDGET: I hate you... BILL BUCKLEY: Boogie makes the tag, and in comes the Disco Inferno!! Disco fist of fury...knocking over Matthews, knocking over Windham!!! It's deafening in here! Disco with a high knee lift! RED MIDGET: This has gone too far! BILL BUCKLEY: Disco with a DDT!!! He covers Troy, but Patrick Young is busy getting Matthews out of the ring, and he doesn't see the cover! RED MIDGET: Awwwwwww BILL BUCKLEY: Young finally turns around, ONE....TWO!! And that's all! Disco, is up...and he starts strutting his stuff!! In all seriousness this is no time to be dancing around the ring! RED MIDGET: He's an idiot, Buckley! BILL BUCKLEY: Disco turns his attention back to Windham, but Troy hits him where it hurts!! A low blow by the King of Slackers!! RED MIDGET: Speaking of low blows... BILL BUCKLEY: Don't you dare!.....Windham makes the tag to Matthes, but the Disco Inferno tags in Boogie man as well! Boogie drops Matthews with a right hand...Boogie body slams Windham! Boogie body slams Shawn Matthews! Boogie man with another slam on Troy Windham! RED MIDGET: Good Gook! BILL BUCKLEY: Boogie man, graps the Inferno by the arm, he irish whipes Disco...flying clothesline that takes down Shawn Matthews!! RED MIDGET: I think I'm going to hurl... BILL BUCKLEY: Here's the cover...ONE...TWO..NO! Boogie has Matthews up for a suplex....Windham has a chair and smacks Boogie in the back with it....Matthews falls ontop of Boogie! ONE....TWO....THREE!! It's over!! RED MIDGET: YES!! Take that you Midget freak! BILL BUCKLEY: Generation X-press have just beated the UNIFIED world tag team champions...in a non-title affair! WAIT A MINUTE!! Two masked men just hit the ring, and they're all over the X-press!! They've got a bull rope, and cow bell!! They're beating Matthews and Windham senseless! RED MIDGET: What in the sam hill! BILL BUCKLEY: We've got to take a break....we'll be right back...OHMY Windham has been busted wide open! ---------------------------------------------- BILL BUCKLEY: Thanks for rejoining us fans, things have finally been cleared up...as you saw before we had to go to break, two masked men brutally attacked the X-Press! RED MIDGET: With cowbells! Now, who in the heck bring cowbells to ringside! BILL BUCKLEY: Very good question, RED! I'm sure we haven't heard the last of this! Right now, it's time for our MAIN EVENT!! The 6-man tag match, that the CSWA fans voted to see! RED MIDGET: They voted to see Tom Adler, but because of his injuried LEFT shoulder, not right you moron...he can't compete! BILL BUCKLEY: Taking his place, Maxwell Diamond has selected Vince Bailey! A former World Champion! It's Bailey, GUNS, and "Devastating" Mike Randalls against America's Team!! Let's get it going! ============================================================ Bailey/GUNS/Randalls vs America's Team (lights fade) (Jesus christ superstar plays) BILL BUCKLEY: Here come Bailey and his tag partners!! This is the first time all three men have teamed together! It'll be interesting to see...how they work as a team! RED MIDGET: WE WANT MIDGETS! WE WANT MIDGETS! You know, Bill, for some strange reason Maxwell Diamond is deathly afraid of midgets.. BILL BUCKLEY: Ok there, freak.. Randalls is bringing up the rear....GOOD GAWD he just got nailed from behind with a flag pole!!! That's BONECRUSHER!!! BONECRUSHER with a powerbomb!! Randalls is out of it....As GUNS runs back to help out, BC gets out of there!! RED MIDGET: OHMY The action is already cookin! BILL BUCKLEY: A vicious attack by Bonecrusher, earlier in the show we said he was BACK..and he's back to his old ways tonight! (Hey man nice shot by Filter plays) BILL BUCKLEY: GUNS better get Randalls in the ring, quick.. America's Team are on there way! RED MIDGET: Do we have room service? BILL BUCKLEY: Goodness sakes Midget, you're already drunk, whatelse do you want!! RED MIDGET: Another drink.... BILL BUCKLEY: Stop it! It's time for a break, but we'll be back with the MAIN EVENT! ----------------------------------------------------------- BILL BUCKLEY: All 6-men are in the ring...Randalls still a little shaken up from Bonecrusher's attack! It's going to be HORNET starting out for America's Team, and GUNS for well.... RED MIDGET: Let's call them the team of Randalls, GUNS, and Bailey! BILL BUCKLEY: Works for me....GUNS and HORNET square off the in the center of the ring..GUNS just slapped HORNET's face!! RED MIDGET: I guess there's still some bad feelings from the 'ruse' at Winters's Warriors. BILL BUCKLEY: I would think so...HORNET doesn't slap, he hits with a closed fist! He nails GUNS, nails him again..irish whip into the corner....flying dropkick!! RED MIDGET: It's on! BILL BUCKLEY: Flying clothesline by HORNET! GUNS has been rocked here in the early going! HORNET sends a boot to GUNS' face! RED MIDGET: GUNS looks a little off his game tonight! BILL BUCKLEY: HORNET tries to suplex GUNS..but it's blocked! GUNS with the suplex!!! HORNET to his feet, and GUNS goes for a clothesline, but he misses and flies over the top rope!! RED MIDGET: It's a bird, it's a plane..no it's GUNS! HA! BILL BUCKLEY: GUNS hit hard on the outside, and there's Mark Windham...Windham with an implant DDT!! HOLY COW! Vince Bailey and Randalls rush over...as Windham backs off! Bailey and Randalls roll GUNS back in.... no rest for GUNS! RED MIDGET: I told you their team work would be a questionable.. BILL BUCKLEY: HORNET tags in Paul Pierce, Pierce rakes the eyes..and shoots GUNS into the corner...he charges in, but GUNS moves out of the way! GUNS dives and tags Mike Randalls, Randalls pops The Golden Boy! Randalls shocks Pierce with a superkick! RED MIDGET: I think all Bonecrusher's attack did was fire up Randalls..he's got that look in his eye! BILL BUCKLEY: Randalls takes Pierce to the top rope... SUPERPLEX!! He got all of that one! Here's the cover, ONE....TWO....NO!! The UNIFIED World Champion just did get the shoulder up! RED MIDGET: Obiviously Randalls didn't take his medication, cause he's a wild man tonight!! BILL BUCKLEY: Pierce stops Mike, by taking his legs out from underhim...Paul with a boston crab!! RED MIDGET: Nothing hurts more, than sitting on a man! BILL BUCKLEY: More words of wisdom from the Midget! (Bailey/Randalls/GUNS vs America's Team cont...) BILL BUCKLEY: Randalls has the ropes, as Worthington calls for the break! Pierce tags in the EN World Champion, Mark Windham!! Windham fires away at Randalls! RED MIDGET: There's no love lost between these two men, I'll tell you that much right now! BILL BUCKLEY: Windham sends Randalls into the ropes. Powerslam!! He caught him, and threw him down on the mat with ease! Windham goes for a belly to back suplex, but Randalls flips over...and hits him with an Implant DDT! RED MIDGET: Whoa Nellie! BILL BUCKLEY: Randalls, tags Vince Bailey! Bailey hits the ring, as does HORNET, and Pierce!! GUNS is in...this is breaking loose right now!! RED MIDGET: We've got a pier six brawl! BILL BUCKLEY: All 6-men going at it, toe to toe! (crowd roars) From the back, here come the <>Cutters! They hit the ring, it's 5 on 3!! America's Team is getting hammered!! Enderson with a DDT on Pierce!! RED MIDGET; I'm getting out of here... BILL BUCKLEY: Worthington calls for the bell, this one is a no contest!...Bailey has a chair and he nails HORNET with it!! (crowd goes wild) HERE COME THE CS EXPRESS!!! Chad Gibson and Steve Morton hit the ring, to even the score! They've got leather belts!! RED MIDGET: Sorry just forgot my drink.... seeya Buckley! BILL BUCKLEY: Get back here Midget!! RED MIDGET: Momma didn't raise no fool, ABC-ya! BILL BUCKLEY: We've got 10 men in the ring, going at it!! We're out of time.....fans BATTLE OF THE BELTS XIV, is just around the corner.... oh what action!! We'll see you then, GOODNIGHT!!! WINDHAM IS BUSTED OP.....(fade to black)