CSWA SuperPRIMETIME in Miami February 15, 1996 BUCKLEY: That's right fans, the CSWA comes to Miami for SuperPRIMETIME! The Ultratitle tournament is in full swing, but the CSWA goes on as well with a great card for our fans in South Florida! We've got a tremendous main event for you! ============================================================ EN World Heavyweight Title Match GUNS (C) vs. JOEY MELTON ============================================================ In his first ever CSWA match, GUNS battled Joey Melton to a 20 minute draw inside a steel cage! Now these two greats meet again...with the EN World Heavyweight Title on the line in what promises to be another classic confrontation! ============================================================ UNIFIED World Tag Team Title Match THE HORSEMEN (C) VS. THE <> CUTTERS ============================================================ The <> Cutters are the EN World Tag Team champions, but now they want a piece of the big prize, and the Horsemen have it! They took Mike Chain out of Ultratitle, and now the Horsemen want revenge in this battle for tag team supremacy! ============================================================ INTRACONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH THE ELIMINATOR (C) VS. STEEL VIPER ============================================================ Eli has his wife back, but can he keep his title away from the hungry and deserving challenger? Can he keep his focus...or will Steel Viper end his impressive reign? We'll find out in Miami! ============================================================ GREENSBORO TITLE MATCH WILD ASIAN (C) VS. MTV DQ OR COUNTOUT WILL WIN THE BELT ============================================================ The Rosenthal Family threatened a lawsuit to get this match signed...but has MTV signed his own death warrant by facing the Asian madman who has revenge on his mind? ALSO... ALEXANDR KARELIN VS. TIMMY WINDHAM MIKE RANDALLS VS. BONECRUSHER PRESIDENT SCHMID VS. NATHAN STORM AARON RENO VS. BOB PRAXIS ARMED FORCES VS. DISCO EXPRESS STEVEN GAGE VS. LIONTAMER LOVERBOY JEAN CLAUDE VS. "SHOWTIME" SHAWN MATTHEWS HELL'S CARETAKER VS. ANARKY "BLAZIN" BILLY STARR VS. BANDIT S&M VS. JAPANESE ASSAULT ATTAXX VS. THOMAS EULER MONSTER JOE VS. RICKY WORTHINGTON TECHNICIAN VS. KERRY ALLEN (FADEIN: The sold out Miami Arena. Bill Buckley and Sammy Benson are standing at the broadcast position.) BUCKLEY: Hello wrestling fans and welcome to CSWA Super PRIMETIME, coming to you LIVE from the Miami Arena! Despite the threats of VP Mike Ventolo, this is NOT the Spanish Broadcast team! I'm Bill Buckley along with Sammy Benson, and we have a tremendous card for you here tonight! BENSON: (Yawn) Yeah, it's a REAL top-notch card, Buckley. What do we have? Ten...fifteen jobber matches? I don't know why anyone even watches us? BUCKLEY: Sammy, even the jobbers here in the CSWA are doing great things, as Carl Brigsby and Wesley Paige captured the US Tag Team title at Battle of the Belts. BENSON: Well...at least THEY'RE not wrestling tonight. Thank God for small wonders. BUCKLEY: Speaking of small wonders, Sammy...here comes the RED MIDGET! BENSON: WHAT? Where? BUCKLEY: Just kidding, Sammy! We have a great main event for you tonight as GUNS defends the EN World Heavyweight title against "Arrogance" Joey Melton, the man who put Steven Flair OUT of the CSWA for sixty days! BENSON: You just HAD to bring that up, didn't you? Well, I might not like Steroid Boy, but I hope he rips Melton in half! BUCKLEY: We've got some other great title matches here for you tonight as well, but first let's take you to some taped action! *********** Monster Joe vs. Ricky Worthington ******** Monster Joe made his CSWA debut tonight against a man who has been a fixture on the bottom of CSWA cards, Ricky Worthington. Worthington was unable to mount an offense against the "Monster" and quickly succumbed to the pinfall at 5:04. WINNER: MONSTER JOE ************* The Technician vs. Kerry Allen ************ The Technician made his return to the ring against fiery youngster Kerry Allen...and Allen got the wrestling lesson of his life tonight. The Technician made short work of Allen, pinning him with a cradle at the 3 minute mark. WINNER: THE TECHNICIAN ****************** ATTAXX vs. Thomas Euler *********** ATTAXX made his debut in the ring following his impressive introduction at Battle of the Belts XIII. Euler was way overmatched against this massive man with a mean streak. ATTAXX jumped Euler before the bell, dominated the entire thirty-five seconds of the match, and then proceeded to give Euler the beating of his life following the match. Euler had to be removed from the ring on a stretcher. WINNER: ATTAXX BUCKLEY: How about that awesome action, Sammy? Three men making their CSWA debuts tonight, and they were all very impressive! BENSON: Buckley, if you consider pinning Ricky Worthington impressive, then I think you need a career change. BUCKLEY: This coming from a man who couldn't beat Poison Ivy. BENSON: Yeah, but you saw what I did to the Red Midget! I bet I could pin Ricky Worthington! But I'll tell who I DID like out there...ATTAXX! This dude is AWESOME! He didn't play around with that ham and egger out there. He just beat the crap out of him and sent him to the hospital. Maybe we could have him come out during all of these jobber matches and send EVERYBODY to the hospital! BUCKLEY: You're sick, Sammy. Really, really sick. Matt Rosenthal does have a real find in that ATTAXX, but he's also going to be raking up the fines and suspensions if he keeps up like this! Fans, when we return, Sammy's favorite wrestler BOB PRAXIS will step in there against AARON RENO! ============================================================ "KING OF GUANO" BOB PRAXIS VS. AARON RENO ============================================================ BUCKLEY: Reno is in the ring and he is now awaiting the entrance of the former Greensboro champion, Overlord Bob Praxis! BENSON: You mean POOPMAN! BUCKLEY: Yeah, that too. Praxis steps through the ropes and he is met right away with a hard right hand from Reno! This one is underway! Reno whips Praxis off the ropes and catches him with a HARD CLOTHESLINE! Praxis drops like a ton of bricks! Now Reno drops the elbow on the former Greensboro champion! Reno picks Praxis up by the hair and whips him hard into the corner! Reno charges in...and he's CAUGHT with a BIG BOOT to the FACE! Reno staggers out of the corner, and Praxis follows it up with a BULLDOG! BENSON: Go get 'em, Poopman! BUCKLEY: Praxis picks Reno up...VERTICAL SUPLEX! He took him down hard to the canvas there, and now Bob Praxis is just stomping away on the head of Aaron Reno, and Reno rolls to the outside to catch a breather. BENSON: Well, he's not gonna get much clean air out there! He's right next to the Wheelbarrow of Justice! BUCKLEY: Reno just PUKED in the Wheelbarrow because of the awful stench! BENSON: That's not gonna make Praxis too happy! BUCKLEY: Bob Praxis rolls to the outside! He charges at Reno with a clothesline! No! Reno ducked and BACKDROPPED Praxis into the WHEELBARROW! BENSON: Praxis is loving it, Buckley! He's taking a bath in his own guano, and look at the smile on his face! BUCKLEY: Dr Guggen urging Praxis to get back in the ring, and he finally does! Bob Praxis up on the apron and steps into the ring...and he's caught right away by a small package by Reno! ONE...TWO...THREE! He got him! What an upset! Aaron Reno has defeated the former Greensboro champ Bob Praxis...and he gets out of the ring before Dr Guggen can dump that bag of poop on him! What a win for Aaron Reno! ============================================================ STEVEN GAGE VS. LIONTAMER ============================================================ BUCKLEY: The Liontamer is in the ring now and he is awaiting the arrival of Steven Gage. Gage has made quite an impact in his short tenure in the CSWA thus far, and he's got a vendetta against the Rosenthal Family, including one "Showtime" Shawn Matthews! BENSON: Rosenthal has ticked a lot of people off, Buckley, but with that huge ATTAXX roaming the countryside, I wouldn't be in too much of a hurry to start something with him! BUCKLEY: Gage is in the ring and he locks up with the Liontamer...who actually owns a victory over BONECRUSHER! BENSON: Bill, who DOESN'T own a victory over Bonecrusher? BUCKLEY: Gage pushes Liontamer into the corner and referee Manuel Juarez asking for a break. Gage breaks cleanly...no! He fires a right hand at the Liontamer, and now he's in that corner kicking away at the ribs of Liontamer! He whips Liontamer across the ring into the far corner...and now he charges in! No! Liontamer moved...and Gage hit that ringpost shoulder first! Liontamer rolls him up from behind! ONE...TWO...NO! Gage kicked out of that one! BENSON: We almost saw Liontamer put together an actual WINNING STREAK here in CSWA competition! If that ain't a sign of the Apocalypse, I don't know WHAT is! BUCKLEY: Gage staying on top of Liontamer now! He's got him by the throat and delivers a CHOKESLAM! Gage going for the cover. ONE...TWO...NO! Matt Rosenthal has come to ringside, and he just put Liontamer's foot on the ropes! Gage saw that and he is none too happy about it! Liontamer rolls Gage up from behind! ONE...TWO...NO! Almost another three count for Liontamer! We've got to take a break! We'll be right back! BUCKLEY: Liontamer taking full advantage of the distraction provided by Matt Rosenthal. He whips Gage off the ropes and catches him with a STUN GUN! Gage still on his feet but staggering, and Liontamer caught him with a SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE that brought Gage to the mat! BENSON: Hmm...Buckley, I just had a thought! How about if I go get us some coffee or something during the undercard matches, and you can have Pedro and Eduardo help you call the matches? BUCKLEY: You're staying right here, Sammy! BENSON: DOH! BUCKLEY: Liontamer is trying to hook in his submission hold, the Liontamer! BENSON: I wonder why he calls it that? BUCKLEY: Get a clue, Sammy! BENSON: Okay, I'll go pick one up at the store right now! BUCKLEY: You're not going ANYWHERE! He's got it hooked, but Gage is too close to the ropes and Liontamer has to break the hold! He's pulling Gage into the center of the ring now! Wait a second! Gage just rolled him up in a small package! ONE...TWO...THREE! He got him! Steven Gage has got the victory and now he chases after Matt Rosenthal all the way back to the locker room! The Vegas Connection has had a pretty good night here in Miami thusfar! BENSON: Better night than I'm having... BUCKLEY: Stop it, Sammy! ============================================================ "BLAZIN" BILLY STARR VS. BANDIT ============================================================ BUCKLEY: Guess who's coming to the ring with Bandit, Sammy? It's POISON IVY! BENSON: Hey, I thought Bandit had fired her! BUCKLEY: After what Rosenthal did to Bandit at Battle of the Belts, Bandit and Ivy reconciled! Maybe you two could reconcile, Sammy. Why don't you go wish her a Happy Valentine's Day? BENSON: Why don't you throw the hair dryer in the tub while you're taking a bath? BUCKLEY: Um...okay. Starr locks up with Bandit, and the monster just tosses Billy Starr to the mat like a rag doll! You're not going to match power with Bandit. Starr now back to his feet and he goes for a standing dropkick! Bandit just swatted him away as if he were a fly! BENSON: I must say...Ivy is looking HOT tonight! Maybe I should go show her my Red Midget, if you know what I mean. BUCKLEY: I DO know what you mean, Sammy, and frankly, I'm repulsed! Starr once again locks up with Bandit and this time catches him with a kneelift to the gut! Now Starr hammering away with quick right hands! He whips Bandit off the ropes...and catches the big man with a LARIAT! Bandit back to his feet and Starr connects with a dropkick! Bandit still on his feet, and he's caught with another dropkick that sends him over the top and onto the floor! Ivy running over to check on Bandit, and Billy Starr rolls to the outside! He just pinched Ivy's butt! BENSON: I love it, Buckley! Ivy turned around, and Starr just gave her a big ol wet sloppy kiss...COWBOY style! That'll make her forget about Hornet! BUCKLEY: I doubt it, Sammy! She kicks off her high heels and starts chasing Starr around the ring! Starr is running for his life! Hey, he just picked up one of those heels and rolled into the ring! Patrick Young stops Ivy and she is not happy with Young! She just gave Young a tongue lashing...and she follows it up with a passionate kiss! How about that? BENSON: Meanwhile, Bandit rolls back in the ring...and he's NAILED with that high heel by Billy Starr! I don't think Ivy or Young saw it! Starr with the cover! Young turns around! ONE...TWO...THREE! I love it, Buckley! Ivy is irate! BUCKLEY: She's screaming obscenities at Starr, but he gets the win! Fans, we'll be right back with more SPT!! ============================================================ S & M VS. JAPANESE ASSAULT ============================================================ BUCKLEY: Fans, these two teams met up at Battle of the Belts XIII, but their bout was spoiled when Wild Asian and Bandit interfered. A rematch has been signed, and this one is underway! Tony Seebok starts this one off against the Kamikaze Kid! They lock up and a quick Japanese armdrag by Kamikaze Kid! Seebok nods and says it was a nice move as he gets back to his feet and they lock up again. Seebok catches Kamikaze with a forearm to the face, and now he whips the Kid off the ropes...LEAPFROG by the Kamikaze Kid! Now the Kid comes back off the ropes and catches Seebok with an incredible spin kick! BENSON: Can we see a replay of Starr pinching Ivy's butt again, Buckley? I want to make a GIF out of it! BUCKLEY: I didn't realize you were on the information superhighway, Sammy! BENSON: Sure, the internet's a GREAT place to get PORN, Buckley! Pamela Anderson...NAKED...whenever you want! It's GREAT! BUCKLEY: Um...Sammy... BENSON: What? BUCKLEY: Never mind. Shotgun Shogun has been tagged in and he's going to work on Tony Seebok. He whips Seebok off the ropes! Seebok ducks a kick, and now comes off the ropes and NAILS Shogun with a flying clothesline! And now he makes the tag to Frankie Mitchell! Mitchell comes in like a house of fire! He nails Shogun! Kamikaze Kid comes in the ring and he's met with a Mitchell clothesline! Shogun back to his feet and he charges at Mitchell...and MITCHELL CATCHES HIM WITH A POWERSLAM! One...Two...No! Rosenthal reached in there and pulled Mitchell off of his man! BENSON: This Rosenthal's got some spunk! BUCKLEY: He's a PUNK is what he is, Sammy! Mitchell now grabs a hold of Rosenthal and pulls him to the apron! Shogun setting up for a thrust kick! Here we go! No! Mitchell ducked and Shogun caught Rosenthal square in the jaw with that thrust kick! BENSON: Um...I don't think that's how they drew that play up, Buckley! BUCKLEY: I think you're right, Sammy! Shogun is still in shock that he kicked his own manager, and now Mitchell is back to his feet! He hammers Shogun from behind, and now he whips him into the S&M corner, and makes the tag to Tony Seebok! They whip Shogun off the ropes for a double clothesline...no! Shogun ducked and made the tag to the Kamikaze Kid as he came back off the ropes! Shogun leaps and dropkicks Mitchell out of the ring! He goes over to the ropes...PLANCHA down on Frankie Mitchell! Seebok turns to go help his partner...but Kamikaze Kid off the top rope with a BULLDOG! That could do it for Tony Seebok! ONE...TWO...NO! Seebok kicked out! BENSON: Slow count by Juarez! Damn foreign referees! BUCKLEY: Kamikaze Kid goes back to the top rope! MOONSAULT! No! Seebok got his knees up and caught Kid right in the gut with them! Kamikaze Kid doubled over in pain! Seebok back to his feet...and he catches him with a DDT! The cover! ONE.... TWO...THREE! He got him! BUCKLEY: S & M gets the victory, but Tony Seebok and Frankie Mitchell are taking it from Japanese Assault now! And it's not looking any better...because here comes ATTAXX! BENSON: This ain't gonna be pretty, Buckley! BUCKLEY: No kidding, Sammy! ATTAXX grabs a hold of Tony Seebok! Vicious chokeslam by the big man! Now he goes to the outside and grabs Frankie Mitchell! He picks him up in a gorilla press and drops him THROAT FIRST on the ring railing! Seebok and Mitchell are both down as ATTAXX and Japanese Assault head back to the locker room! BENSON: They don't LOOK like winners now, do they, Buckley? BUCKLEY: No, they sure don't, Sammy, but regardless of what they look like now, they did get the nod in the match! As Seebok and Mitchell are being taken away on stretchers, let's go back to Rudy Seitzer who is in the locker room with the EN World Heavyweight Champion! SEITZER: Well, GUNS, I guess you could say you've come full circle here in the CSWA. Your first ever match here was a twenty minute draw against Joey Melton...and now you're stepping in the ring with Joey Melton one more time here in Miami. GUNS: Joey Melton is the only reason I ever came to the CSWA in the first place. He came to the AAWC talking trash, and I decided to go to the CSWA to shut him up. The record books might say that match was a draw, but everybody who was there that night knows that I beat Joey Melton in the center of the ring in that cage. But that's the past, Seitzer! This (holds up EN belt) is the PRESENT! And that UNIFIED title belt that's on the line at Ultratitle is the FUTURE! Melton, you've been on a roll lately. You beat Flair twice...you beat Karelin...you beat Lex Taylor in Ultratitle. But now you're stepping in there with the EN World champ...the Strongest Arms in the World...the best wrestler there is in this sport right now! And Melton, I gave you this title shot because you've earned it...but Joey, when the smoke clears and the dust settles, you're gonna know who the best wrestler is...and that's ME! The ring rust is gone...I'm at the top of my game, Melton. You know what that means, Joey? That means that you're going DOWN! SEITZER: Okay, GUNS. Let's talk briefly about Ultratitle. You've got your former friend and partner Battleship in the second round, and you two got into a huge brawl at the end of round one in Greensboro. Ray Cornette and TTL threaten to unleash the whole CORPORATION on you until they put you where they put Hornet...on the shelf. GUNS: Cornette and TTL can blow all the smoke they want and throw anybody they want at me. It doesn't change the fact that I'm the EN World champion. It doesn't change the fact that I'm the next UNIFIED Champion! Battleship, you just have to bring it at Ultratitle...and you're going down! I'm going to prove exactly why TTL made the biggest mistake of his life pushing you and holding me back, and I'm going to prove that I was, am, and always will be the best wrestler...not just among the Armed Forces...but in the WORLD! You think you can top it, Battleship? I'll see you back in Greensboro, big boy. SEITZER: Okay, guys, back to you! BUCKLEY: Well, some interesting words from the EN World Heavyweight champion as he prepares for his big title defense tonight. When we come back from this commercial break, we're going to see the bizarre Hell's Caretaker do battle with the newcomer, Anarky! We'll be back! ============================================================ ANARKY VS. HELL'S CARETAKER ============================================================ BUCKLEY: Anarky is in the ring and he's got the microphone! ANARKY: "GUNS, you want to disrespect me? Well, you've gotten yourself in a whole mess of trouble! I know you're back there, Steroid Freak, and you just watch what I do to this Hell's Caretaker, and THEN maybe you'll show ne some respect! But it will be too late..." BUCKLEY: Hey, the lights just went out here in the Miami Arena! Sammy, get your hand off my wallet? BENSON: That's YOUR wallet? I'm sorry, Buckley...thought it was mine. BUCKLEY: I bet you did, Sammy! The lights have come back on here in the Miami Arena! Anarky is looking at the aisle waiting for Hell's Caretaker to come out...but the Caretaker is standing in the center of the ring right behind him! Anarky turns around and he's caught with a big boot to the face that sends him flying to the outside! Now Hell's Caretaker follows Anarky to the outside! Anarky up to his feet and he just rammed Caretaker headfirst into the ringpost! Caretaker just stares at him...and now he rams ANARKY headfirst into the post! Anarky answers back with a hard right hand! Caretaker responds by grabbing the throat of Anarky! He's choking the life out of him! Patrick Young's count has reached TEN! Both men have been counted out, but I don't think either one of them CARES! Hell's Caretaker just choking Anarky down, and here comes Doctor Silver to ringside! He taps Caretaker on the shoulder and Caretaker releases the choke! BENSON: I don't know why Silver has brought this guy here, but something tells me it doesn't have much to do with Anarky! BUCKLEY: Caretaker just snapped his fingers, and Anarky is once again conscious! This is too weird! Silver taking Hell's Caretaker back to the locker room, as Anarky just sits at ringside dumbfounded! He's not sure exactly what's going on, and I don't think he WANTS to know! BENSON: Well, Anarky's debut here in the CSWA was spoiled a little bit by the Caretaker, and that just ticks me off! I think I'm gonna go to the store and drown my sorrows in some coffee! BUCKLEY: Sammy, we only have one more undercard match left before we get to the top matches of the evening. BENSON: Really? Well, in that case, I guess I can stick around. While we're waiting for the next match, any chance of showing the replay of Starr pinching Ivy's bum? BUCKLEY: None whatsoever, Sammy! BENSON: How come I never get ANYTHING I want, Buckley? BUCKLEY: Because I don't like you, Sammy. BENSON: Oh...well, I guess that's fair. BUCKLEY: Nobody ever said life was fair, Sammy! When we come back, the Rosenthal Family is back in action again when "Showtime" Shawn Matthews does battle with Lover Boy Jean Claude! ============================================================ "SHOWTIME" SHAWN MATTHEWS VS. LOVER BOY JEAN CLAUDE ============================================================ BUCKLEY: Lover Boy Jean Claude is a former member of the Rosenthal Family, but now he has joined forces with Steven Gage to try and rid the CSWA of the Family. Matt Rosenthal has made a lot of enemies since he returned to the CSWA! BENSON: But he's also signed some new talent, and here he is right now..."SHOWTIME" SHAWN MATTHEWS, the cousin of the USN Heavyweight Champion Scotty Michaels, by the way! BUCKLEY: Well, Scotty Michaels has a special interview later in the program, but this match is underway! Shawn Matthews locks up with Jean Claude, and pulls the suave Frenchman down by the hair! Jean Claude is not too happy about that one! BENSON: Well, I hate it when people mess around with my hair, too, Buckley. BUCKLEY: The one hair that you have left on your head? I understand why you'd be protective of that. They lock up again, and this time it's Jean Claude who pulls Matthews down by the hair! Turnabout is fair play, I guess. Matthews getting some instructions from Matt Rosenthal and now he's back to his feet and pointing at Jean Claude's boot, telling referee Ben Worthington that it's untied! Jean Claude bends down...and Matthews catches him with a DDT! BENSON: I can't believe Jean Claude fell for that! That's the oldest trick in the book! Even second graders don't fall for "your shoe's untied." BUCKLEY: Matthews now putting the boots to Jean Claude! He picks the Lover Boy up and whips him off the ropes...BIG BACK BODY DROP by Shawn Matthews! Matthews setting up for a SUPERKICK! No! Jean Claude caught it! But...oh my...Matthews caught Jean Claude with the enzui kick to the back of the head! Great move by "Showtime"! BENSON: Now Matthews picks Jean Claude up and he's raking his eyes across that top rope! That Rosenthal sure knows how to teach cheating! BUCKLEY: Isn't that a special trait... BENSON: It IS, Buckley. You want to play blind man, you go walk with the shepherd, but me, my eyes are wide open! BUCKLEY: Um...yeah...sure. Worthington admonishing Matthews for raking Jean Claude's eyes on the rope, and Rosenthal takes advantage by using the second rope to choke out Jean Claude! This is unreal! Now Matthews comes off the ropes and drops down on Jean Claude, whose throat is still over that second rope! Worthington admonishing him again, and this time Rosenthal takes the opportunity to slap Jean Claude around! BENSON: Great teamwork is such a beauty to watch! BUCKLEY: This isn't suppoossed to be a tag team match, Sammy! Matthews now picks Jean Claude back to his feet and catches him with a BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! The cover! One.... Two...THR-NO! Jean Claude got his shoulder up! Matthews picks up Jean Claude...SLINGSHOT SUPLEX! The cover! One..Two ...THR-NO! Again a kickout by Jean Claude! BENSON: Rosenthal yelling for Matthews to go up to the top rope and finish this one off! BUCKLEY: Matthews is taking his time getting up there, and now Jean Claude is back to his feet! Matthews off the top with a FLYING BODYPRESS! ONE...TWO...NO! Jean Claude rolled through! He's got the tights! ONE...TWO...THREE! I don't believe it! Jean Claude has upset Shawn Matthews! BENSON: Rosenthal doesn't believe it either! He is beside himself! BUCKLEY: He looks REALLY upset out there, Sammy! He can't believe that Matthews blew that one! We've got to take a short break, but when we come back, we're gonna see ALEXANDR KARELIN do battle with TIMMY WINDHAM!! ============================================================ "IRONMAN" ALEXANDR KARELIN VS. TIMMY WINDHAM ============================================================ BUCKLEY: The Muppet Kid is in the ring to a large ovation from this Miami crowd, but tonight he'll be facing some stiff competition, and a man who has become somewhat of an enigma, and I'm talking about Alexandr Karelin! BENSON: Karelin turned his back on the CORPORATION, and now it looks like he's trying to build some sort of friendship with Hornet! He saved Hornet from the attack by Jim Williams! Frankly, I think he's gone soft, Buckley! BUCKLEY: He doesn't LOOK too soft as he comes toward the ring along with Mad Mike! He steps into the ring and offers his hand to the Muppet Kid! BENSON: See, look at that! SOFT! What's with that handshake baloney! BUCKLEY: Well, Karelin is a former Olympic champion, Sammy. In amateur wrestling, you shake hands before every match. It's called SPORTSMANSHIP, Sammy, something you have very little of! BENSON: And that's a BAD thing? BUCKLEY: Stop it, Sammy! Karelin locks up with the Muppet Kid and shoves him hard into the corner! Patrick Young asks for a clean break...and Karelin OBLIGES! Timmy looks a bit surprised as well as he locks up with the Russian once again! Karelin whips Timmy off the ropes...Timmy goes for a leapfrog...Karelin catches him in MIDAIR...SPINEBUSTER! Great move by Alexandr Karelin! Timmy is slow getting to his feet, but Karelin is right there! Karelin whips him off the ropes and catches him with a SHOULDERBLOCK that sends him to the outside to the floor! BENSON: Go out there and kill him, Karelin! But no...he's waiting for Timmy to get back in the ring. There's another word for sportsmanship, Buckley...it's called STUPIDITY! BUCKLEY: Stop it, Sammy. Timmy Windham back to the ring apron. Karelin comes over, and Timmy catches him with a headbutt to the stomach, and now he catapults over...SUNSET FLIP! ONE...TWO...NO! Timmy almost got the three count! BENSON: I told you, Buckley. Stupidity. Karelin almost got himself pinned there! BUCKLEY: Timmy now whips Karelin off the ropes and catches him with a LARIAT! Timmy goes for the cover! ONE...TWO...NO! Karelin kicked out with authority! Timmy back on him and he whips him off the ropes again...no! Reversal by Karelin! Karelin runs off the opposite ropes and catches Timmy with a RUSSIAN SICKLE! That could do it here! The cover! One...Two...NO! Timmy Windham got his shoulder up! BENSON: If Karelin had hooked the tights there, he might have WON this match by now! BUCKLEY: Stop it, Sammy! Karelin now picks Timmy Windham up to his feet and he's got the former USN Champion in a bearhug! He's squeezing the life out of the Muppet Kid right now! Young checking the arm of Timmy Windham! It drops once! It drops twice! If it drops a third time, this one is over...no! Timmy holds his arm up high...but GREAT MOVE by Karelin as he turns the bearhug right into a belly to belly suplex! That could do it! ONE...TWO...THREE...NO! Timmy got his foot on the ropes! This match has been fast paced with a lot of near falls, and Mad Mike telling Karelin to finish him off! BENSON: Mad Mike gonna throw him some brass knucks or something? BUCKLEY: Karelin sets Timmy Windham in the center of the ring...GERMAN SUPLEX! Great bridge by Karelin! ONE...TWO.... THREE! Alexandr Karelin has gotten the victory here tonight, and he did it in a sportsmanlike fashion, Sammy! BENSON: I still say he's gone soft, Buckley, and there's nothing you can say to change that fact! Karelin has gone soft! And I wouldn't be surprised if he was on the CORPORATION hit list! BUCKLEY: Fans, when we come back, we'll see CORPORATE members the Armed Forces do battle with Disco Express!! ============================================================ ARMED FORCES VS. DISCO EXPRESS ============================================================ BUCKLEY: The Disco Express have hit the ring, Sammy, and this place is coming apart as Inferno and Boogie Man dance up a storm! BENSON: And look at that Disco Midget pound away on that flask he's got in his hand! I think that little guy is almost as big an alcoholic as Ventolo...and I say ALMOST only because Ventolo is three feet taller. BUCKLEY: Stop it, Sammy. Listen to those foghorns! A red light has covered the Miami Arena as the AAWC Universal Tag Team champions make their way to the ring, along with their manager TTL and their new advisor, Ray S. Cornette! BENSON: It's very simple who's gonna win this match, Buckley. The Armed Forces have the size...and they've got the smarts! They've got the two greatest managerial minds in wrestling today in their corner...while the Disco Express has an alcoholic midget! BUCKLEY: You might have a point there, Sammy! And the Armed Forces are none too happy about their loss to the Disco Express at Battle of the Belts! They get a chance to redeem themselves tonight though! The bell rings and this one is underway! Submarine is going to start this one off against Disco Inferno! They lock up and Submarine just shoves Inferno hard into the corner! Inferno checks to see if his hair is messed up, and finds it to be satisfactory, so he locks up with Sub again and takes a side headlock! Submarine pushes out of the headlock and whips Inferno off the ropes and catches him with an elbow to the mush! And now look at this! Submarine just grabs Inferno's head and pushes his hair all around! He's messing up Inferno's hair! BENSON: Inferno is outraged! I don't know if that was the right thing for Submarine to do, because now Inferno is all riled up! BUCKLEY: Inferno nails Submarine with a right hand! Another right! Inferno shoves Submarine into a neutral corner and he's battering him with a barrage of rights and lefts, and Submarine sticks his head through the ropes to force a break! Ben Worthington steps in between Inferno and Submarine, and Sub took advantage by catching Inferno with a hard right hand! BENSON: Smart tactics by Submarine! He knows how to work the referee! BUCKLEY: Submarine now rakes the eyes and grabs Inferno by the hair...and rams him headfirst into the waiting boot of Battleship! Now he makes the tag to the big man! Battleship whips Inferno off the ropes and catches him with a SIDEWALK SLAM! What impact on that move! He goes for the cover! ONE...TWO...NO! Boogie Man broke it up! BENSON: Inferno really needs to make a tag soon, Buckley, or this one could be history real quick! BUCKLEY: Battleship now whips Inferno hard into a neutral corner! He's in there now ramming his shoulder into the ribs of the Disco Inferno! And now Inferno is just taking a beatdown in the corner at the hands of Battleship! BENSON: Battleship is throwing combinations that would make Riddick Bowe proud! To the body..the body..the body...THE HEAD! Inferno is out on his feet, Buckley! BUCKLEY: You might be right, Sammy! Battleship whips the Inferno across into the far corner! Now he charges it with an AVALANCHE! NO! Inferno fell out of the way, and Battleship hit that corner hard! BENSON: This is Inferno's chance, Buckley! He's crawling over to the wrong corner, though! BUCKLEY: Battleship giving chase...Inferno realizes he;s going the wrong way, and reverses direction! He scoots through Battleship's legs and crawls to the corner and MAKES THE TAG TO BOOGIE MAN! BENSON: Uh oh! Boogie Man comes in like a house of fire! He's whaling away on the big man! Rights and lefts! And hey! That's not fair! He just kicked Battleship in the nuts! BUCKLEY: War's hell, Sammy! Boogie Man catches Battleship with a kneelift now! Battleship still doubled over in pain! Boogie Man going for the DDT...no! Battleship with a big back body drop! Now he makes the tag back to Submarine! Submarine drops an elbow on Boogie Man...NO! Boogie Man got out of the way! Now Boogie Man whips Submarine off the ropes and catches him with a BIG CLOTHESLINE! BENSON: He's wasting too much time dancing instead of following up, Buckley, and that alcoholic midget is yelling at him for doing so! BUCKLEY: Boogie Man gets back on Submarine! He's got him up...big VERTICAL SUPLEX! Boogie Man now comes off the ropes with a big LEGDROP! The cover on Sub! ONE...TWO...NO! Submarine kicked out with authority! BENSON: It'll take a little more than that to put Submarine away, Buckley! BUCKLEY: Boogie Man now setting Submarine up...POWER BOMB by Boogie Man! Will that be enough? ONE...TWO...NO! Submarine got his shoulder up! Boogie Man makes the tag to Disco Inferno now! Boogie Man slams Submarine to the canvas! Inferno on the top rope...BIG SPLASH! He connects! This could do it! ONE...TWO...NO! Battleship just delivered a big legdrop to the back of Disco Inferno's head! Both Inferno and Submarine are down in the center of the ring! Who can make the tag first? Inferno crawling toward his corner! He's gonna make it, Sammy! BENSON: He might make it, Buckley...but Ray S Cornette just climbed on the apron and he's got Worthington's attention! BUCKLEY: Inferno makes the tag to Boogie Man! Boogie comes in, but Worthington didn't see it! He's putting Boogie Man out of there! Meanwhile, Battleship just came into the ring! He's got Inferno up...BATTLE PLEX! Submarine is back to his feet now! Worthington has Boogie Man out of there! Sub makes the official tag to Battleship! Battleship to the top rope! ATOMIC BOMB! That'll do it! Boogie Man runs in to try and stop it, but Submarine just came off the ropes and caught him coming with a TORPEDO! BENSON: Hey! Disco Midget is on the apron now and Worthington's trying to get him off! Just count the pin, nimrod! BUCKLEY: What's good for the goose is good for the gander, Sammy! Battleship has Inferno covered, and Boogie Man is down and out on the arena floor after the Torpedo...but Disco Midget is distracting the referee! Submarine goes to tell Worthington about the cover! Hey! Disco Midget just jumped on Submarine's back! He's got him in a sleeper! I don't believe this! Worthington is calling for the bell! The Disco Express are gonna be disqualified here! BENSON: The Disco Midget must REALLY be drunk if he thinks he can take on Submarine! Submarine just backs into the corner and crushes the Midget's back against the post! BUCKLEY: Battleship throws Disco Inferno over the top rope! Now Submarine picks up the Disco Midget...and POWERSLAMS him in the center of the ring! Battleship is going to the top rope! He's not going to... BENSON: They're gonna drop the Atomic Bomb on the Disco Midget! Now THAT'S entertainment! BUCKLEY: This is horrible! Wait a second! GUNS has just hit the ring! He steps in the way of Battleship's jump! BENSON: What's he doing out here? Does he wanna get squashed too? BUCKLEY: GUNS now rolls the Disco Midget too far away for Battleship to jump! Battleship is irate as he climbs down from the top rope! GUNS has saved the Disco Midget from certain DEATH at the hands of Battleship! Officials are out here to hold Battleship and Submarine back as GUNS and the Disco Express help the Midget back to the locker room! BENSON: The fire just keeps building for their match in the second round of Ultratitle, Buckley! I can't wait for that one! GUNS crossed the line tonight! BUCKLEY: GUNS crossed the line? By saving the life of an innocent midget? BENSON: Haven't you learned yet that the Midgets have to be destroyed? Didn't you read that article on the CSWA Page on the World Wide Web? BUCKLEY: No, Sammy, I didn't read that midget article. I, unlike you, have a life. BENSON: Very funny, Buckley! BUCKLEY: Speaking of funny, our next match should feature a little of the ridiculous and the sublime, as former AAWC President Robert Schmid makes his first appearance on an SPT since the time we saw him galavanting through the crowd in one of Teri Melton's dresses! Tonight, he'll be stepping in the ring with a man making his CSWA debut, a man who has spent the last several months in the hardcore independents, and a member of the <>X-Change...NATHAN STORM! ============================================================ PRESIDENT SCHMID VS. NATHAN STORM ============================================================ BUCKLEY: Storm is in the ring first and he just has a smile on his face as he shares a joke with Maxwell Diamond. He doesn't appear to be too concerned with this match, but I'll tell you, Sammy, when Schmid gets in that Flair Face, he's a dangerous wrestler. BENSON: Well, let's face it, Buckley...he's no Steven Flair. But he's pretty damn close sometimes. It's really frightening. And it's really great that even though Flair is suspended for sixty days...we can still get a taste of him in this match! BUCKLEY: Schmid has made it to the ring along with his bodyguard Billy Ray Moses and his manager/psychiatrist Dr. Marvin Monroe. Schmid takes off the robe, and he is in pretty good shape. He does have an amateur wrestling background and has been in heavy training for some time. Still, I don't think he can match up physically with Nathan Storm. Schmid comes out in an amateur stance and fires a single leg takedown, and brings Storm down to the mat with it! Schmid displaying some of those amateur skills. Storm doesn't look too impressed as he leaps back to his feet. Schmid again comes at him with that amateur stance, and Storm just slapped him right across the face! Now an armdrag takedown by Nathan Storm! Schmid scrambles back to his feet and charges at Storm and he is taken down with a hiptoss! Schmid back to his feet again and he catches a dropkick square in the mush that sends him through the ropes and onto the arena floor! BENSON: Schmid got hit in the head with that dropkick! That means SCHMID went to the outside, but Lord only knows who'll be climbing back in! BUCKLEY: Well, Nathan Storm going to see to it that NOBODY makes it back in, as he comes down with a PLANCHA on Schmid! Now Storm scoops Schmid up and slams him down on the Spanish broadcast table! Pedro and Eduardo better get out of the way! Wait a second! Schmid just spread his legs and is motioning for Storm to climb on top of him! BENSON: Sweet mother of all that's good and pure! BUCKLEY: Nathan Storm looks a little confused and disgusted, and he just backs away from the table. Schmid gets up off of the table and he's stalking Storm! I have a feeling we're looking at the Teri Melton persona right now! BENSON: Gee, Buckley, ya think? BUCKLEY: Storm rolls back into the ring and Schmid follows! Storm fires a right hand at Schmid, but Schmid ducks it! But Storm caught him with the left hand right in the head, and hopefully that knocked Schmid out of the Teri personality! BENSON: I think it did, Buckley! But it just brought out the former UNIFIED champ in Schmid! Schmid catches Nathan Storm with a reverse knifedge! BUCKLEY: Another chop by Schmid! He whips Nathan Storm hard into the corner and now he's just chopping away on him! Fans, we have to take a quick break! We'll be right back! BUCKLEY: We're back and you haven't missed much! Schmid has been chopping away on Storm repeatedly in the corner and has lacerated Storm's chest with those blows! Now he whips Storm across the ring into the far corner...no! Reversal by Nathan Storm! Schmid goes head over heels over the top rope but lands with his feet on the apron! He climbs to the top and catches Storm coming in with a flying bodypress! ONE...TWO...NO! Schmid almost got the three count on Nathan Storm! BENSON: I don't think Storm can believe that Schmid is wrestling this well! BUCKLEY: He really THINKS he's Steven Flair, and he really wrestles like him too! Schmid now picks Nathan Storm up by the hair, and he's got a bearhug on Storm! He's trying to wear Nathan Storm down! Storm trying to get free! He nails Schmid with a hard right hand! Schmid maintains the bearhug! He now catches Schmid with a headbutt! BENSON: Schmid releases the bearhug...but his hands just moved down to Nathan Storm's butt...and now Schmid just gave him a big kiss! YIKES! BUCKLEY: Nathan Storm runs to the outside in horror! He can't believe what just happened, and quite frankly, neither can I! BENSON: He's walking down the aisle and back to the locker room! I don't think he wants any part of President Schmid! BUCKLEY: Maxwell Diamond runs up the aisle and is talking to Storm, trying to bring him back to the ring! Meanwhile, look at Schmid in that ring! He just pulled down the straps on his singlet and he's flashing his chest at Nathan Storm and waving him back to the ring! I think I'm gonna be sick! BENSON: I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at Teri Melton in the same way again, Buckley! BUCKLEY: Nathan Storm comes back to the ring just in time to break the count, and then rolls outside again to collect himself. Diamond just whispered something to Storm, and now Storm...what's he doing? He's blowing KISSES at Schmid! BENSON: I knew there was something funny about guys with long hair! I just knew it! BUCKLEY: Schmid comes to the outside and tries to kiss Storm, but Storm grabs Schmid by the hair and rams him hard into the steel steps! Now he's ramming Schmid repeatedly into those steel steps, taking out his aggression! BENSON: He's rammed him into those steps about ten or twelve times, Buckley! That's like rolling the dice! Lord knows who that is staggering around on the arena floor now! BUCKLEY: Schmid is now busted wide open, and Nathan Storm once again has slammed him onto the Spanish broadcast table! Pedro and Eduardo are complaining, and oh my! Nathan Storm just gave them a double noggin knocker, and took a bite of their burritos! BENSON: I love it! Pedro and Eduardo should be right at home here in South Florida, anyway! BUCKLEY: Nathan Storm now back in the ring and he's climbing to the rop rope! He's going to come down on Schmid and splash him through the table! Here we go! YES! He connected! The crowd here in Miami sure appreciated that manuever by Nathan Storm! But I think he banged his knee hard on the concrete floor with that splash, Sammy! He's coming up limping! BENSON: You're right, Buckley! That's what can happen with those high risk maneuvers! That's why I didn't use any top rope moves when I was in the ring! BUCKLEY: Schmid is also back to his feet, and he sees Storm limping around on the arena floor. Schmid charges from behind and clips the knee out! And now Schmid is just pulling on Storm's hair and gouging at his eyes! He must be in the Teri face again! BENSON: There's nothing more deadly than a woman scorned, Buckley, and Schmiddy's proving that right now! He throws Storm into the ring now, and he's climbing to the top! BUCKLEY: Schmid is on the top rope! Here we go...TERISAULT!! That could do it for Nathan Storm! One...Two...No! Storm kicked out! Schmid stays right on him though, gouging at the eyes and pulling on the hair! Nathan Storm struggling to get back to his feet, and now he whips Schmid off the ropes! STUN GUN! Storm is still limping, but he pulls Schmid into the center of the ring! He's going back to the top for another high risk move! Billy Ray pushed Storm off the top rope! Storm managed to connect with a HEADBUTT from the top rope, but he also landed hard on that knee, and he's not able to follow up! Schmid sits up and he sees Storm holding his knee in pain, and a smile just creeped across his face! Schmid now stomping away on the injured knee of Nathan Storm! He sets the leg on the bottom rope and now he's just dropping down on it time and time again! BENSON: I think we're seeing the work of Flair here! Schmid picks Storm up and delivers a crushing KNEEBREAKER! BUCKLEY: Schmid's going for it...he's got it HOOKED! Schmid has the STF hooked in the center of the ring! Maxwell Diamond is waving his hands! Here come the <>Cutters! Tully Planchard climbs on the ring apron to distract the official, and Ern Enderson is in the ring! He breaks up the STF, and now he picks Schmid up! He's going for the DDT! No! Schmid blocked it and delivered an inverted atomic drop! Schmid now chopping away on Ern Enderson in the corner! He picks Nathan Storm up by the hair and delivers a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Billy Ray Moses now pulls Enderson to the outside and they're brawling! Schmid charges at Planchard and knocks him off the apron with a forearm to the mush! BENSON: I know I'm not seeing Schmid fight off the <>Cutters! BUCKLEY: I don't believe it either, Sammy, but that's how powerful he is in that Steven Flair face of his! But Storm is back to his feet and he catches Schmid with a standing dropkick! Schmid is down! Storm going for the cover! ONE...TWO...NO! Schmid got his foot on the ropes! Storm now runs off the ropes...NO! Marvin Monroe just hit him in the knee with the mallet! Storm stumbles, and Schmid rolls him up in a small package! He's got the tights! ONE...TWO...THREE! HE GOT HIM! I don't believe it, but former AAWC President Robert Schmid has pinned Nathan Storm! BENSON: Storm doesn't believe it either! Uh oh! Enderson just rammed Billy Ray Moses into the ringpost and now he's in the ring, as is Tully Planchard! BUCKLEY: DOUBLE GOOZLE ON SCHMID by the <> Cutters! They are really tearing into President Schmid right now! Enderson has him up...DDT! Now Planchard picks him up and delivers a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX! Planchard now picks him up and whips him over to Enderson, who delivers a GOURDBUSTER! Schmid has taken a beating from the <>Cutters here, and they're not letting up yet! They just continue to stomp away on the ribs of the former AAWC President! BENSON: Nathan Storm is back up and he's got a steel chair, and he is just smashing Schmid on the head repeatedly with it! Schmiddy is busted wide open! He's taking the beating of his life right here! BUCKLEY: And notice how no CSWA security personnel or officials are coming in to help Schmid. I think Merritt and Thomas are just LETTING this attack go on! BENSON: You might be right, Buckley! Billy Ray is back to his feet and he pulls something out from under the ring! He's got a SHOTGUN! He fires it into the air, and that sends the <>X-Change running back to the locker room! BUCKLEY: But the damage has already been done, Sammy! President Schmid got the upset victory over Nathan Storm, but he paid for it! While Billy Ray Moses and Dr Marvin Monroe attend to President Schmid in the ring, we're going to have a special interview with the USN Heavyweight Champion Scotty Michaels on the interview platform. Take it away, Rudy! (CUTTO: Rudy Seitzer on the interview platform.) SEITZER: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the USN Heavyweight Champion, a man with a new attitude...and a new manager! Along with Teri Melton, here is SCOTTY MICHAELS!! (Mixed reaction as Michaels and Teri walk onto the platform.) Well, Scotty, I've got to ask what the heck is going on between you and Lex Taylor. Who was the man who attacked him at Battle of the Belts XIII? MICHAELS: Seitzer...that's for ME to know, and the world to find out. Lex Taylor wasn't carrying his weight in the Dream Team. I carried that team to the World Tag Team titles, and then when I won the USN title, Lex got jealous. He knew that he was the weak link of the team, and I knew he was the weak link of the team. He couldn't handle it, and it was only a matter of time before I got rid of him, and that's EXACTLY what we did at Super Bowl Blast! I had my friend take out the trash...and the trash was LEX TAYLOR! SEITZER: Okay...Teri, then, the question for you is: Why are you managing Scotty Michaels? TERI: It's very simple, Rudy. Scotty Michaels is the future of this sport. You're looking at the greatest USN Champion in history. You're looking at the next UNIFIED World Heavyweight Champion! I only manage winners, Seitzer, and I'm going to take Scotty Michaels right to the top! That loser Steven Flair can't even compare to my "Superstar." SEITZER: Well, wait a second. President Schmid is up in the ring and he's grabbed the house mic! SCHMID: SO! This is what's been going on, while I've been in training! While I'm out here busting my butt, getting bloody, beaten, and battered! This is what happens while I'm on my way to Ultratitle, you little tramp! You want to go behind STEVEN FLAIR'S back! Well, Michaels, pal...you just signed your DEATH WARRANT! I'm coming for you, Michaels, and that USN title too! But that will only be the icing on the cake...the appetizer. Ultratitle's the main course, and I'm gonna get me the UNIFIED World Heavyweight title, and I'm gonna stick it right in your face, you little slut!" MICHAELS: You know, I used to think this was pretty funny, Seitzer! But now he's pretending to be Steven Flair...after he just got his butt handed to him by the <>Cutters...and he's talking to my woman...MY MANAGER like that! You want me punk? I'm right here, COME AND GET ME! BUCKLEY: Oh my! President Schmid is in his Flair face, and he's running up to the platform after Scotty Michaels! He's bloody, battered, and bruised, but he doesn;t care! He's on the platform and he tackles the USN champion, and now he's beating on him with rights and lefts! Wait a second! Teri just bashed Schmid on the head with her high heel shoe! That probably knocked him back into reality! Scotty Michaels now reverses the tackle and he's choking the life out of Schmid! He picks Schmid up now and he's holding him, and Teri Melton is just slapping away at him! Now a DDT on the platform by Scotty Michaels! He's laughing and starting to head back to the locker room with Teri. Schmid slowly gets to his feet, and he's chasing after Michaels! No! He just jumped on Teri! BENSON: He's in the Teri face, Buckley, and we're seeing a CATFIGHT! This is GREAT! Schmid just ripped Teri's blouse off, leaving her Hooters exposed for all to see! You got a camera, Buckley? BUCKLEY: Teri and Scotty Michaels run back to the locker room, as Marvin Monroe bashes Schmid on the head with the mallet and brings him back into reality, and now he and Billy Ray Moses help Schmid back to the locker room! Wow! That was WILD! We'll be right back! ============================================================ DEVASTATING MIKE RANDALLS VS. BONECRUSHER ============================================================ BUCKLEY: Bonecrusher is in the ring, awaiting the arrival of the OLD Mike Randalls, who has cast aside the Darkness and is now in the business of winning for HIMSELF. BENSON: Well, Buckley, I don't know about this new or old and improved Mike Randalls, but I don't think he'll have too much of a problem with Bonecrusher. BUCKLEY: Well, Sammy, Bonecrusher HAS beaten Hornet in the past here in the CSWA. BENSON: He's also lost to Liontamer. What's your point? BUCKLEY: Mike Randalls is in the ring now and this one is gonna get underway! They lock up, and Bonecrusher catches Randalls with a forearm to the head! He whips Randalls off the ropes and catches him with a BIG POWERSLAM! Bonecrusher with the cover! ONE...TWO...NO! We almost had a HUGE upset, as Bonecrusher almost pinned Mike Randalls in thirty seconds! BENSON: Randalls didn't take too kindly to that, Buckley, and he nails Bonecrusher with a hard right hand! BUCKLEY: Now Randalls rams Bonecrusher headfirst into the turnbuckle! Randalls hammering away on the big man in the corner! He's kicking away at the ribs of the Bonecrusher. Referee Manuel Juarez tries to get Mike Randalls to break, but Randalls just shoves him aside! If he's not careful, he's gonna get himself a disqualification! BENSON: Well, Juarez should just stay out of Randalls' way, then! Hey, Buckley, do you notice what Randalls is wearing on his arm? BUCKLEY: He's wearing that Hornet armband that he took from GUNS on Death Island! I think Randalls has a serious obsession with Hornet right now, and that could cost him in there tonight! Randalls now whips Bonecrusher off the ropes for a clothesline...NO! Bonecrusher ducked it and comes off the ropes with a powerful FLYING SHOULDERBLOCK! Now BC picks Randalls HIGH up in the air and drops him throat first on the top rope! Randalls now staggering across the ring, and Bonecrusher LEVELS him with a clothesline! The cover by Bonecrusher! ONE...TWO...NO! Randalls kicks out with authority! BENSON: Maybe Mike should try and get that Darkness back! He's not looking so hot out there tonight! BUCKLEY: Bonecrusher whips Randalls off the ropes again and catches him with a BIG BOOT to the face! Bonecrusher now leaps in the air and delivers a BIG LEGDROP! Another cover by Bonecrusher! ONE...TWO...NO! Randalls still manages to kick out! Bonecrusher now picks Mike Randalls up and tosses him into the corner! Bonecrusher burying his shoulder into the abdomen of Devastating Mike Randalls! He whips Randalls across the ring hard into the far corner! He charges in... but Randalls charges out of the corner and nearly decapitates Bonecrusher with a CLOTHESLINE! BENSON: I knew Bonecrusher would find SOME way to screw it up! I wonder if Schmid is watching this in the back, considering he's got Bonecrusher in the second round! BUCKLEY: Randalls now picks the big man up and SLAMS him hard to the canvas! Randalls just drops the knee on the throat of Bonecrusher and is using the ropes for leverage, trying to choke the big man out! Juarez calling for the break, and he gets in Randalls' face! Randalls just picked up Juarez, carried him to the far corner, and perched him on the top turnbuckle and told him to stay there until it was time to count to three! He should be disqualified for that! BENSON: Why, Buckley? It's about time somebody put referees in their place! BUCKLEY: Well, Bonecrusher is back up to his feet and he rolls Randalls up from behind! Juarez leaps down from the top rope! ONE...TWO...THR-NO! Randalls kicked out yet again! Bonecrusher stays on top of him! He's got him set up for a POWERBOMB...NO! Randalls went over the shoulder, and now he clotheslines Bonecrusher over the top rope! BUCKLEY: Randalls went over the top rope as well, and now both men are on the arena floor! Randalls hammers away on Bonecrusher with an axhandle to the back! He whips the big man HARD into the steel barricade! Randalls charges at him, but Bonecrusher caught him with a BIG BOOT to the face! Randalls is staggered! Bonecrusher grabs him by the hair and rams him headfirst into the ringpost! Randalls is busted open! Wait a second! Randalls rakes Bonecrusher in the eyes, and now he rams Bonecrusher into the post! And again! ANd again! Four...Five...Six...Seven...Eight...Nine...TEN TIMES! BENSON: Bonecrusher is out cold after that, Buckley! BUCKLEY: Randalls throws a bloody Bonecrusher into the ring, and he's not done with him yet! Randalls has Bonecrusher set up...PILEDRIVER! He's calling for it again...ANOTHER PILEDRIVER by Mike Randalls! BENSON: Bonecrusher is barely moving, Buckley! I guess if you can call the twitches he's doing "movement".... BUCKLEY: Randalls now has it hooked in...THE DEVASTATOR! Bonecrusher quickly gives it up, and this one is over! An impressive victory for the former "King of the Darkness"! BENSON: Randalls just holding that armband in Bonecrusher's face and he's looking right into our camera screaming "Hornet." He might not believe in the Darkness anymore, but he's still NUTS! BUCKLEY: Well, up next we've got...hey, wait a second, who's that on the interview platform? ============================================================ "BILLIONAIRE" VINCE BAILEY: Well, well, well...what do you know? It seems like the mighty Hornet has refused to accept my challenge? Poor little Hornet has himself a BACKACHE. Well, in my opinion, Hornet, the only thing wrong with your back is the YELLOW STREAK that's on it! Well, I see that there are quite a few little Hornet fans in the audience tonight, and I'd like to give them the chance to make a little money! How does $1000 sound to one of you little rugrats? If you can dribble this basketball ten times without screwing up, you'll get yourself a grand! So step right up, any of you little Hornets out there? (A kid wearing a Hornet T-Shirt and face paint comes out of the crowd and steps onto the platform.) All right, kid, you know what you have to do, right? KID: Yes, sir. I have to dribble this basketball ten times in a row. BAILEY: You're a real Prodigy, kid. Here's the ball, go for it! CROWD (counting along): ONE...TWO...THREE...FOUR...FIVE... SIX...SEVEN...EIGHT...NINE...AWW! BUCKLEY: I don't believe it! Well, actually, I DO believe it, but it was still despicable! Vince Bailey just kicked the ball away from the kid! BAILEY: Sorry, kid, looks like you lose...that's just another example of how EVERYBODY HAS A PRICE, BUT THE BILLIONAIRE IS PRICELE$$! BUCKLEY: Wait a second, Mike Randalls has just made his way to the platform and he taps Bailey on the shoulder! Bailey turns around and Randalls LEVELS him with a clothesline! Hes got Bailey up...and PILEDRIVES him on the platform! Now Randalls grabs that 1000 dollars...and puts it in his OWN POCKET! Now, he's got the mic! RANDALLS: Get one thing straight, Bailey! HORNET IS MINE! You get in my way...like at Ultratitle, for instance...and you're going to feel the WRATH of DEVASTATING MIKE RANDALLS! Not for the DARKNESS...I'm just out for MYSELF! And Hornet, YOU'RE MINE!! BUCKLEY: I don't believe what we just saw! We'll be right back with the Greensboro title match! ============================================================ GREENSBORO TITLE MATCH DQ/COUNTOUT WINS BELT WILD ASIAN (C) VS. MTV ============================================================ BUCKLEY: Yet another personal vendetta involving the Rosenthal family in this Greensboro title defense. Rosenthal suckered Wild Asian and Bandit at Battle of the Belts, and now Asian is looking for revenge! Asian wanted an Asian Death Match to settle it, but MTV wanted the stipulations we have tonight...that he can win the title on a DQ or countout. BENSON: I guess Merritt and Thomas were too lily-livered to put up a fight against Rosenthal's lawyers, so they just gave him the stipulations he wanted. BUCKLEY: MTV is in the ring now, and he is playing that guitar of his, giving the Miami fans a good show! Wait a second, Dr Silver is making his way to the ring! What's going on here? SILVER: "MTV, first of all...we all know that the crap you're passing off as music isn't even being PLAYED by you. It's being piped in over the PA system. Second of all, you had the gall to challenge ME...the reigning Ultratitle champion! Well, needless to say, I'm not going to soil my hands with you...but I do have a man who DOES want a piece of you!" BUCKLEY: Wait a second! That's...that's GLADIATOR! He just came from the crowd and he jumped MTV from behind! He's got that piano wire that he's famous for using, and he's choking the life out of MTV with it! This is terrible! Officials and the Rosenthal Family are out here, and Silver and Gladiator get out of dodge! BENSON: Well, it looks like Doc Silver has brought Gladiator to the CSWA to take MTV off the air! BUCKLEY: Not funny, Sammy. MTV has been lacerated by that piano wire and is trying to get his wind back! Japanese Assault in the ring trying to help him up! Wait a second! Here comes WILD ASIAN! Asian to the top rope! He comes off with a DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE on the Japanese Assault! He dropkicks Kamikaze Kid out of the ring! He dropkicks Shotgun Shogun out of the ring! He's telling Patrick Young to start this match, and there's the bell! Asian going to work on a weakened MTV! He whips him off the ropes and catches him with a STUN GUN! BENSON: Buckley, look who's out there with Asian. It's Ivy again! Maybe we should get Billy Starr out here! BUCKLEY: That's probably not a good idea, Sammy! Asian dropping down on MTV with a series of legdrops! He's really working on MTV, who had a lot taken out of him by that prematch attack at the hands of Gladiator! Asian again whips MTV off the ropes and catches him in the throat with a spin kick! The cover! ONE...TWO...NO! Kickout by MTV! BENSON: This crowd is buzzing, because look who's coming to ringside! It's ATTAXX! BUCKLEY: ATTAXX has certainly made his presence felt tonight! Asian plants MTV in the center of the ring, and he's going to the top! He just spotted ATTAXX at ringside! Asian comes off the top with a flying bodypress on ATTAXX! Asian now hops up to the apron! MTV back to his feet! Asian catapults over the top rope and LEVELS MTV with a flying CLOTHESLINE! The cover again by the champ! ONE...TWO...NO! I think ATTAXX reached in there and pulled Asian's legs and pulled him off of MTV! BENSON: I didn't see anything like that, Buckley! BUCKLEY: Neither did Patrick Young, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen! Asian turns around...PLANCHA down on ATTAXX! Rosenthal comes over and Wild Asian catches him with a chop! Now a spin kick to the head of Rosenthal! MTV now distracting Patrick Young! ATTAXX turns Asian around and grabs him by the throat...CHOKESLAM on the arena floor! Poison Ivy is irate, and she's running back to the locker room! We have to take a break! We'll be right back! BUCKLEY: We're back, and now ATTAXX rolls Asian back into the ring, and MTV is taking full advantage of the situation, putting the boots to the weakened Wild Asian! BENSON: It didn't take Ivy long to dump the Wild Asian the way she dumped Hornet! BUCKLEY: Not so fast, Sammy! Ivy is coming back to ringside and she's bringing BANDIT along with her! That will even the odds a little bit! MTV whips Asian off the ropes and catches him with a POWERSLAM! He goes for the cover, but Ivy is on the ring apron arguing with Young! Bandit up to the top rope He comes off with a big LEGDROP to the back of the head of MTV, and places the Asian on top of MTV now! ATTAXX has seen enough of that, and now he's in the ring! He and Bandit are going at it! They're going toe to toe in the center of the ring! BENSON: Young is STILL being distracted by Ivy! Wait a second! Here comes Billy Starr again! He just pinched Ivy's butt AGAIN! I like this guy's style! BUCKLEY: Ivy hops off of the apron and she's chasing Starr back to the locker room! Young turns around to find Bandit and ATTAXX brawling in the ring, and he's calling for the bell! He's going to rule this one a no-contest! BENSON: I don't think the BELL is going to stop these guys, Buckley! BUCKLEY: You might be right, Sammy! Wild Asian back to his feet, and he just grabbed that bell from the timekeeper! He climbs to the top, and he comes down on ATTAXX from behind! He nailed him in the head with that bell! BENSON: You might say he rang his bell there! BUCKLEY: YOU might say that, Sammy...I would nevert use such a bad pun! BENSON: Well, EXCUSE ME, Mr. Straight Man. I'm the talent of this operation! BUCKLEY: That's truly a sad statement. Bandit now delivers a power bomb to ATTAXX! MTV has got his guitar, and he comes at Bandit from behind and smashes the guitar over the head of Bandit! BENSON: He just played a tune on Bandit's head! BUCKLEY: Sammy, stop...please, just stop. BENSON: What? BUCKLEY: Never mind. MTV swings that guitar at Asian, but Asian ducks it! MTV turns around and Asian catches him square in the face with a dropkick that sends him to the outside! Rosenthal is calling his troops out from the locker room! Here comes the Japanese Assault once again, but Asian has MTV's guitar and he's swinging it like a baseball bat, keeping the Rosenthal Family at bay! BENSON: He's swingin' like a hip cat in the 20's! BUCKLEY: Damn it, Sammy! BENSON: What? BUCKLEY: (sigh) Never mind. The Rosenthal Family is heading back to the locker room, as Wild Asian and Bandit hold fort in the ring! Asian retains the Greensboro title, but something tells me we haven't seen the end of this feud, Sammy! BENSON: I'm not saying ANYTHING anymore, Buckley. I'm gonna be as silent as a lamb. BUCKLEY: That's the best news I've heard all day! Fans, when we return to CSWA Super PRIMETIME in Miami, we're gonna see a big IntraContinental title match as Steel Viper gets a much deserved title shot when he takes on the ELIMINATOR! What do you think of that match, Sammy? BENSON: I told you...I'm not saying JACK anymore! Let's see if you can do this broadcast by yourself, Buckley! You think you're so hot...making fun of my puns! BUCKLEY: Would me saying I'm sorry help any? BENSON: It might. BUCKLEY: Anything else I can do besides apologize? BENSON: No. I might accept a formal apology though BUCKLEY: So I'm OK as long as I don't apologize! ============================================================ INTRACONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH ELIMINATOR (C) VS. STEEL VIPER ============================================================ BUCKLEY: We're back, and Steel Viper is making his way to the ring! BENSON: I see your game, Buckley. You don't WANT me to talk! Well, I'm gonna keep talking just to spite you! BUCKLEY: Oh well...I tried. Steel Viper has been on a roll as of late here in the CSWA, and he's got himself a much deserved title shot, but he's got a REAL tough test ahead of him, because here comes THE ELIMINATOR along with Alicia! BENSON: Ivy's not with him, Buckley! Maybe she's making out with Billy Starr in the locker room! BUCKLEY: Not likely, Sammy! She's probably cursing him out in the locker room though. I was really surprised she didn't swear on the air at Battle of the Belts. She held well to the family programming standard we have here in the CSWA BENSON: Family programming, Buckley? Did you SEE that Schmid match? Would you let YOUR kids watch that? BUCKLEY: Since my kid is an announcer here too...I guess so. BENSON: That's what's wrong with America today. BUCKLEY: Eli and Viper lock up in the center of the ring. Both of these men are very strong, and neither man is budging an inch here! Eli takes a side headlock and takes the challenger down to the mat with it! Whoa! Headscissors by Steel Viper gets him out of the headlock, and now he's squeezing the head of the champion with those legs! Eli repositions himself on the mat and he's on his knees..and he pops his head out of the legscissors, and CLOTHESLINES the sitting Viper! BENSON: Eli now picks Viper up and whips him off the ropes! He telegraphed the backdrop, Buckley, and Viper made him pay for it with a kick right to the face! Viper follows it up with a European uppercut, and now a savate kick to the face sends the champ out of the ring! He's broken Eli's nose here Buckley! BUCKLEY: Blood is gushing out of Eli's nose as he paces the arena floor! Alicia heads over to take a look...but LOOK OUT! PLANCHA by Steel Viper! Viper now grabs Eli by the hair and rams him facefirst into the steel steps! Viper rolls back into the ring now. Eli struggles back to his feet, and ANOTHER PLANCHA by Steel Viper! Viper now picks Eli up and shoves him backfirst into the ring apron! Eli staggers forward, and Viper STUN GUNS him on the ringside barrier! Viper now climbs up to the apron! MOONSAULT off the apron! Steel Viper is really taking it to the IC Champion here! BENSON: I'm really impressed by Steel Viper so far tonight! BUCKLEY: Viper trying to make the most out of his title shot here on SPT! He rolls Eli back into the ring! The cover by Viper! ONE...TWO...THR-NO! Eli just barely got his shoulder up! Viper picks Eli up and sets him up for a Tombstone piledriver! Eli is positioning himself on Viper's chest, and now he's putting all his weight into Viper...HE REVERSED IT! Now Eli has Viper set up for a Tombstone...and he delivers it! Great move by the IC Champ! BENSON: He's too weak to follow up for the cover though, Buckley! That was desperation by Eli! HE's taken a beating! BUCKLEY: Both men get back to their feet at the same time! Viper catches Eli with a kick to the ribs! Eli doubles over! Viper going for the DDT...no! BACK BODY DROP by Eli! Viper scrambles to his feet...and ELI HITS A DDT! The cover by the Eliminator! ONE...TWO...NO! Viper kicked out with authority! Eli now whips Viper off the ropes...no! Reversal by Viper, and Viper LEVELS Eli with a big clothesline! Viper now climbing the ropes! He's going for a MOONSAULT! He nailed it! That'll do it! ONE...TWO...THR-NO! Eli again JUST got his shoulder up in time! BENSON: Viper is yelling at Juarez, telling the little Mexican that he needs to learn how to count! BUCKLEY: Eli rolls Viper up from behind! ONE...TWO...NO! Viper kicked out! Wait! Look who's coming to ringside!! BENSON: It's HELL'S CARETAKER! Eli doesn't see him, but Alicia does, and she's terrified! BUCKLEY: Eli now starting to take it to Steel Viper! He's rocking the challenger with a series of right hands! Now he comes off the ropes and drops him with a shoulderblock! He goes for the cover, and that's when he sees the Caretaker! I don't like this, Sammy, and neither does Eli! Eli gets off of Viper and starts screaming at Caretaker to get away from Alicia! Now Viper rolls Eli up from behind! ONE...TWO...NO! Eli kicked out, and he's fired up! He catches Viper with a clothesline, and now he whips him off the ropes...POWERSLAM! He runs off the ropes and drops a BIG ELBOW! Now who's coming to ringside? It's DOC SILVER! BENSON: DA DOC!! BUCKLEY: Huh? BENSON: DA DOC IS IN DA HOUSE, Buckley! BUCKLEY: Um...okay...Eli sees Silver now too! He rolls to the outside and shoves Silver! Silver responds with a superkick! He throws Eli back into the ring, and Viper pounces on him! ONE...TWO...THREE! Yes! No! Eli had his foot on the ropes! Viper thinks he's won the title! Silver trying to get his attention! Eli is back up to his feet, and he DELIVERS A BULLDOG TO STEEL VIPER!! Now Eli is stomping away on the challenger! He's a house of fire right now! His nose has been broken! His body has been battered, but I think the appearance of Dr Silver has actually riled up the champ! He whips Viper off the ropes...and STUN GUNS him into the TOP TURNBUCKLE! Viper is out on his feet...but a LARIAT by Eli takes him down to the mat! Eli now going for it...he's got it HOOKED!! The ELIMINATOR submission hold! BENSON: What's with these guys naming submission holds after themselves? The Liontamer...the Eliminator... BUCKLEY: Hell's Caretaker moves closer to Alicia, and he just waved his hand and pointed to the ring! Alicia just entered the ring! Eli looks confused and releases the hold, and Alicia STARTS GOUGING HIS EYES! What is going on here? Juarez is calling for the bell! Alicia suddenly stops and starts looking at her hands, crying! She doesn't know WHY she did what she just did! BENSON: It's the power of Hell's Caretaker, Buckley! He brought Alicia back from the grave! He OWNS her! BUCKLEY: I don't know about that, Sammy, but he does seem to have SOME power over her! Eli comforting his wife now, but Silver's in the ring and he's got some contraption! BENSON: Hold your breath, Buckley! That's his SLEEP STICK! It shoots ETHER! It'll knock you out if you get too close! BUCKLEY: Silver taps Eli on the shoulder. Eli turns around, and he gets a shot of ether right in the face! Eli drops like a ton of bricks, and Alicia passes out as well! Silver is wearing a surgical mask, so he's still awake! Now he just pulled something out of his bag...It's a T-Shirt! BENSON: He just put a T-Shirt on Eli. Get a close up of that! Ha ha! I love it, Buckley! It says "I'M LIVING THE LIE!" Oh, that kooky Silver! BUCKLEY: Silver, Viper, and the Caretaker get out of dodge now! Juarez has ruled the bout a disqualification victory for the Eliminator, and I for one would like to see a rematch between Steel Viper and Eli, because Viper came so close tonight! BENSON: Eli's too cowardly to give a rematch, Buckley! Heck, he wanted to defend against ANARKY tonight! BUCKLEY: Well, fans, as the officials try to revive Eli and Alicia, we're going to have a short intermission, and when we return...it's a battle for tag team supremacy as Jack Samson and Mike Chain defend against Tully Planchard and Ern Enderson! We'll be back! ============================================================ UNIFIED WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH THE HORSEMEN (C) VS. <> CUTTERS ============================================================ BUCKLEY: This next match should be a classic tag team encounter! Let's go up to Rhubarb Jones for the introductions! RHUBARB: "Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is for the UNIFIED World Tag Team Championships! Introducing first, the challengers...and the EN World Tag Team Champions! Making their way toward the ring with their manager, MAXWELL DIAMOND!! Here are TULLY PLANCHARD and ERN ENDERSON...THE <> CUTTERS!!" BUCKLEY: Enderson and Planchard are in the ring holding those EN World tag team title belts high. You better believe that the CS Express will be wanting another match with these two men, whether they leave tonight as EN champs...or as UNIFIED World Tag Team Champions! Let's go back to Rhubarb! RHUBARB: "And their opponents...they are the UNIFIED World Tag Team Champions! JACK "SUMMER" SAMSON and "MARVELOUS" MIKE CHAIN...here are THE HORSEMEN!!" BUCKLEY: Samson and Chain are coming to the ring to CHEERS, Sammy! Obviously the fans here in Miami consider the Horsemen to be the lesser of the two evils in this match. Enderson and Planchard have been on a reign of terror here in the CSWA. They've beaten and attacked the CS Express, they cost Mike Chain his Ultratitle matchup with Vince Bailey, and tonight they performed a BRUTAL attack on former AAWC President Schmid! These two men are despicable, Sammy! BENSON: Aww...you gotta love 'em, Buckley! BUCKLEY: The bell sounds and this one is underway. Ern Enderson is gonna start this one off against Mike Chain. Chain is livid at Enderson for what went down at Ultratitle! They lock up here, and Chain just SLAPPED Double E right across the face! BENSON: Enderson rubs his cheek and nods at Chain, as if to say "you'll pay for that, sport." BUCKLEY: They lock up again, and Enderson catches Chain with a kneelift to the gut. Enderson with a forearm to the head of the Marvelous One, and now he rakes the eyes of Mike Chain! He forces Chain into the corner, and Patrick Young asking for a clean break. Enderson obliges...no! He tried to nail Chain, but Chain got out of the way! Now he's got Enderson in the corner and he is pounding away on the Enforcer! He whips Enderson across the ring into the far corner, and he hits that post hard! Enderson staggers out of the corner and Chain catches him with a LARIAT! Chain now picks Enderson up and takes him to the corner and makes the tag to Samson! Full armwring and twist by Chain! Samson off the top and comes down right on the arm of Enderson! Samson with an armbar on Double E now! Enderson rakes the eyes of Samson and breaks the hold! BENSON: Brains, Buckley...it's all about brains. BUCKLEY: Enderson now hammers Samson with a forearm! Samson fires back with a hard right hand! Enderson with a hard left! Samson again fires back with a right! Enderson throws another left...no! Chain grabbed his arm and held it back! Enderson spins around, and Samson hammers him with an axhandle to the back! Now Samson makes the tag to Chain and he hooks the abdominal stretch! Chain comes into the ring and delivers a SUPERKICK to the exposed abdomen of Ern Enderson! BENSON: Enderson is doubled over now, Buckley! The Horsemen are double teaming very effectively here! BUCKLEY: Mike Chain now sets Enderson up...he's trying for a piledriver...NO! Enderson with a backdrop! He got Chain into the center of the ring, and he's finally out of the Horseman corner! Chain back up to his feet and fires a roundhouse right! Enderson ducks it and delivers an ATOMIC DROP that sends Chain flying into the <>Cutter corner, where he's NAILED by Tully Planchard! Chain staggers out of the corner and he's caught with an Enderson clothesline! BENSON: Now Chain's in the wrong part of town, Buckley! He's in the <>Cutter corner! BUCKLEY: Enderson starts jawing with Patrick Young, and Planchard takes the opportunity to wrap the tag rope around the throat of Mike Chain! He's choking him down with the tag rope! Samson tries to come in and save his partner, but that only draws Young to him to try and put him out of the ring! Enderson now pounding away on Chain while Planchard continues to choke him out! BENSON: Samson's temper is getting his partner in even more trouble, Buckley! BUCKLEY: Samson finally gets out of the ring, and Planchard is tagged in by Enderson! They whip Chain off the ropes and drop him with a DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! Now a DOUBLE ELBOW DROP by the <>Cutters! Enderson leaves the ring, and Planchard just pounding away on Chain with right hands! Samson again tries to come in and help his partner, and again Patrick Young has to put him out! Enderson now back in the ring, and he and Planchard are just stomping away on the Marvelous One! Planchard now taunting Samson, goading him into the ring! Young is having a hard time holding Samson back, and Enderson is taking the opportunity to drag Chain back into the <>Cutter corner and remove the turnbuckle padding! BENSON: The padding is off, Buckley! Enderson goes to ram Chain's head into the steel...but CHAIN BLOCKED IT! Now Chain rams Enderson head first into the exposed steel! BUCKLEY: Enderson falls through the ropes and to the floor! He's busted open and he's dazed! Chain comes up on Planchard from behind and rolls him up! Samson exits the ring as quickly as he can! Young turns around! ONE...TWO...NO! BENSON: If Samson hadn't been in the ring, Chain might have gotten the pinfall right there, Buckley! BUCKLEY: Chain now whips Planchard off the ropes and delivers a BIG BACK BODY DROP! Now he's setting up! Tully gets back to his feet...and Chain delivers a SUPERKICK to the JAW! Planchard staggers to the corner, and Samson grabs him by the hair and drops him THROAT FIRST on the top rope! Planchard staggers back toward Chain, who rolls him up in a small package! ONE...TWO...NO! Planchard reversed it! He's got the TIGHTS! ONE...TWO...THR-NO! Patrick Young saw that Tully had the tights! BENSON: I thought CS Enterprises made an amendment that holding tights was legal! BUCKLEY: They never made any such amendment! BENSON: Well...they should have. BUCKLEY: Planchard now back in control. He whips Chain hard into the corner, and Chain's back hit that exposed steel turnbuckle hard! Chain comes out holding his back, and Planchard scoops him up and delivers a SIDE SUPLEX! The cover! ONE...TWO...NO! Chain got his foot on the ropes! Enderson is back up on the apron, and Planchard tags him in! BENSON: The Enforcer is BACK, and he doesn't look happy, Buckley! BUCKLEY: Enderson just pounding away on the back of "Marvelous" Mike Chain! Jack Samson is just looking on helplessly from the apron, wanting BADLY to get into that ring! Enderson now delivers a CRUSHING backbreaker to Chain! Double E now drops a knee on the back of Mike Chain, and now he drags him into the center of the ring! He's going for it...and he's got it hooked! A BOSTON CRAB in the center of the ring! BENSON: Chain is in a lot of pain! Hey, that rhymes, Buckley! I'm a poet...and I didn't even know it! BUCKLEY: First the bad puns, now the stupid rhymes...when's it gonna stop, Sammy? But you're right, Mike Chain is in terrible pain in that Boston Crab! He might have to give it up! Wait! Jack Samson just ran into the ring and delivered a CRUSHING clothesline to Enderson! That broke the hold! BENSON: That's not legal, Buckley! Give the Cutters the belts right now! BUCKLEY: You've NEVER cared about the rules, Sammy...don't start now! BENSON: I'm turning over a new leaf, Buckley! BUCKLEY: Chain crawling toward the corner! Enderson is trying to get to the Cutter corner, but Planchard is yelling at him to try and stop Chain! Enderson turns around, and he's chasing after Chain! Chain dives...AND MAKES THE TAG! Samson is in the ring like a house of fire! He levels Enderson with a clothesline, and then he runs across the ring and knocks Planchard off of the apron with a hard right hand! Enderson back up to his feet, and he goes down to another Samson clothesline! Samson picks Enderson up now and whips him off the ropes...STUN GUN! Enderson staggers backward and Samson catches him...BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX! BENSON: Jack Samson is on a roll here, Buckley! Diamond better do something! BUCKLEY: Ern Enderson is in trouble! Samson now perches him on the top rope...here it comes! SUPERPLEX! That could do it! Samson with the cover! ONE...TWO...THR-NO! Tully Planchard made the save! Samson gets up and he hammers Planchard with a hard right hand! Samson and Planchard are going toe to toe! Enderson struggling to get back to his feet! He's gonna nail Samson from behind! BENSON: No he's not! Because Mike Chain just hit HIM from behind first! I hate back jumpers, Buckley! BUCKLEY: When they back jump your favorites. BENSON: Exactly. BUCKLEY: All four men are in the ring now! Patrick Young has lost all control of this one! Enderson going toe to toe with Chain! Planchard going at it with Samson! BENSON: Who's legal, Buckley? BUCKLEY: I think Samson and Enderson are the legal men! Samson shoves Planchard off the ropes...and catches him with a SUMMERSLAM! BENSON: Enderson just whipped Chain off the ropes and caught him with a gourdbuster! With Chain's bad back, he might be laid out! BUCKLEY: Samson covers Planchard! Enderson covers Chain! Young counts! ONE...TWO...THREE! BENSON: YES! We have NEW UNIFIED World Tag Team Champions, Buckley! BUCKLEY: Patrick Young looks confused, as he sees one member of the <> Cutters and one member of the Horsemen BOTH got pinned at the same time! What's the official word. RHUBARB: "Ladies and gentlemen, as a result of members of both teams being pinned at the same time...this match is ruled a DRAW! Chain and Samson retain the UNIFIED Tag Team titles!" BUCKLEY: How about that, Sammy? Enderson is not happy about this, as Samson helps Chain back to the locker room! The Horsemen are still the UNIFIED tag team champions, but I'd have to believe that this won't be the last time we see the <> Cutters get a shot at those belts! BENSON: I think Planchard got his shoulder up, Buckley! The <> Cutters were robbed here tonight! BUCKLEY: I don't think so, Sammy! When we come back from this commercial break, it will be MAIN EVENT time here on CSWA SuperPRIMETIME, as the EN World Heavyweight Champion GUNS steps in the ring with an old nemesis...the man who put Steven Flair out of the CSWA... BENSON: Shut up, Buckley BUCKLEY:..."Arrogance" Joey Melton! That one should be a classic! Fans, we'll have that one for you...WHEN WE RETURN to Miami after this WINTER'S WARRIORS VII promo! ============================================================ EN WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH GUNS (C) VS. JOEY MELTON ============================================================ BUCKLEY: We're ready for our main event of the evening, so let's go up to Rhubarb Jones for the introductions! RHUBARB: "Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall and is for the EN World Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first, the challenger...here is "ARROGANCE" JOEY MELTON!!" BUCKLEY: Melton coming to the ring to a mixed reaction tonight, Sammy. A lot of fans have warmed up to Joey since he was double crossed by the CORPORATION, and even more have started cheering for Joey since he defeated Steven Flair and got Flair out of the CSWA for SIXTY DAYS!! BENSON: The sixty longest days of my life, Buckley. It's a good thing Schmid's here so we can have a taste of Flair one third of the time. RHUBARB: "And his opponent...he is the Enterprises World Heavyweight Champion for the SECOND TIME...here is "The Strongest Arms in the World"...GUNS!!" BUCKLEY: Listen to this crowd erupt as the EN World Heavyweight Champion makes his way to the ring! The fans have really taken a liking to GUNS since he returned to the CSWA! BENSON: They like him because he's Hornet's monkey boy. Well, obviously steroids don't just shrink the family jewels...they shrink the brain as well. GUNS doesn't realize that Hornet is playing him like a cheap fiddle...well, he'll see the light soon enough, but it will be too late. He's already on the CORPORATE hitlist, and at Ultratitle, he's gonna PAY! BUCKLEY: Joey Melton is another man who is not all that popular with the CORPORATION nowadays. GUNS has reached the ring and he extends his hand to Joey. Melton shakes GUNS' hand, the bell rings, and this one is underway! GUNS locks up with Joey Melton and tosses him HARD into the corner, and now GUNS flexes those 32 inch biceps for the fans here in the Miami Arena! Man, those arms are huge! BENSON: Speaking of things that are huge... BUCKLEY: Oh lord... BENSON: Have you ever had a poop so big that you had to SCOOP it out of your ass? BUCKLEY: Um...can't say that I have, Sammy. Have you? BENSON: That's none of your damn business and I'll mind you to stay out of my personal affairs. BUCKLEY: Well, you MUST have, or else you wouldn't have brought it up. BENSON: What kind of a FREAK do you think I am, Buckley? Do you honestly think that I'm capable of doing ANYTHING that disgusting? BUCKLEY: Well, to be perfectly honest, Sammy...yes, yes I do. I can EASILY picture you doing something that disgusting. BENSON: You think it was EASY, Buckley? You don't know what it's like to be sitting there on the toilet, with a poop the size of a Christmas tree hanging halfway out of your bunghole...struggling to get it out naturally...pushing, forcing...doing ANYTHING in your power to SQUEEZE this giant turd out of your butt...until FINALLY you have to SCOOP it out with your BARE HANDS, armed with nothing more than a wad of toilet paper! I was in TEARS, Buckley! BUCKLEY: Gee, I would have thought your butt would be very loose after what happened on Christmas morning. BENSON: Shut up, Buckley! Just shut up! BUCKLEY: I'd like to apologize to our viewers for the disgusting story that Sammy Benson just relayed to us. If you'd like to write and complain, E-Mail CS Enterprises at PBAL46D on the PRODIGY service! PRODIGY, by the way, is the sole sponsor of the 1996 ULTRATITLE tournament. BUCKLEY: Okay, Sammy...let's get back to the match! Melton walks out of the corner and once again locks up with the EN World Heavyweight Champion. GUNS takes a side headlock on Melton and takes the challenger down to the mat with it! GUNS has those 32 inch biceps wrapped firmly around the head of Joey Melton, just squeezing the life out of the challenger! BENSON: Don't say SQUEEZE, Buckley! It brings back bad memories! BUCKLEY: Sorry, Sammy. GUNS wearing down Joey Melton with this side headlock on the mat. Melton grabs the tights and rolls GUNS onto his shoulders! Ben Worthington to count! ONE...TWO...NO! GUNS rolls back and maintains that side headlock. BENSON: The side headlock is a very dangerous way to get yourslef pinned if you're in there with someone as good...or I should say as LUCKY as Joey Melton...because we all know that Melton could NEVER beat Steven Flair without a whole LOT of luck. BUCKLEY: Whatever, Sammy. Melton rolls GUNS over onto his shoulders again! ONE...TWO...NO! GUNS once again regains position and now he brings Melton back to his feet. Melton pushes out of the headlock and whips GUNS off the ropes and catches him coming off with an elbow to the face! Melton now catches GUNS and delivers a SNAP SUPLEX to the EN World Heavyweight champion! BENSON: Melton has two near falls and now he's taking control of this matchup early. Lady Luck might still be on Joey Melton's side...the dirty whore that she is. BUCKLEY: Sammy!! This is a family program! Am I going to have to bring Mad Mike out here to replace you? BENSON: Mad Mike? You mean the guy who caused the brawl between the illegal aliens at Battle of the Belts? BUCKLEY: Point well taken. Melton now drops an elbow on the EN champ! Now Melton hooks in a reverse chinlock! BENSON: Melton trying to wear the big man down by making him carry his weight with that reverse chinlock. BUCKLEY: GUNS trying to fight up out of it...he's up to his feet...but Melton pulls the EN champ back down to the mat with a handful of hair! BENSON: Normally, I would condone something like that, but Joey Melton is the man that robbed the CSWA of the perfection that is Steven Flair...so I say...LET HIM FRY!! BUCKLEY: Sammy, you need professional help. GUNS once again fighting up to his feet, and he rocks Joey Melton with an elbow to the gut! Another elbow breaks the hold! Now GUNS nails Melton with a hard right hand! Another right! GUNS whips Melton off the ropes and rocks the challenger with a HUGE clothesline! Melton back up to his feet, and GUNS drops him AGAIN with a clothesline! Melton back to his feet again, and this time a GUNS clothesline sends Melton over the top rope and onto the floor! Listen to this crowd! They are PUMPED, Sammy! BENSON: Well, isn't that special? BUCKLEY: Melton climbs back to the apron, and GUNS comes over! He grabs Melton and tries to set him up for a suplex! No! Melton blocked it and now he rakes the eyes of the champion! He grabs GUNS by the hair and drops down off the apron, clotheslining GUNS' throat on the top rope! Melton now rolls back into the ring and takes advantage of the situation. He's stomping away on the champion now! GUNS struggling to get back to his feet, and Melton delivers an axhandle to the back! Now he whips the champ off the ropes and catches him in an ABDOMINAL STRETCH! Great weardown hold by Joey Melton! BENSON: Melton has that thing cinched on tight! The only thing he could do to make it better would be to grab the ropes, or maybe hook the tights...but of course, none of those things are legal. BUCKLEY: We have to take a break! We'll be right back! Note: end of match posts lost